Toys That Should Not Be
I can't believe I missed this before, but here is the George W. Bush Operation Iraqi Freedom adventure doll. The look of vague yet steely determination is captured in his painted on eyeballs, the flightsuit tailored to suggest an aura of more than a showboating passenger and we guarantee upon seeing this doll your child will declare an end to all major combat activities... Unlike the Al Gore Candidate Doll, this figure has moveable joints, and is made of petroleum bi-product plastic rather than solid, unmoveable oak. Warning: If Pretzels or Segway accessory are placed near Bush doll, doll may tip over.
The line of dolls should include a Rummy Doll with life like Tech-vest, and Ari Fleischer Doll with podium and repetitive soundtrack. I will be sure to add the Condi Rice doll to my collection, as well as the Powell "UN Adventure" action set. Unfortunately the Cheney doll with "lifelike grimace" and "hidden bunker fortress" is being held for security reasons. I do look forward to the Cheney "Secret Energy Policy" playset, with sealable minutes!
Coming soon, the "Where the f**k is he?" Saddam playset with Saddam, 6 disguises and an American soldier with irritiated, sweating action.
Can we look forward to a Maureen Dowd doll? A George F. Will doll with real bowtie action?
Eschewing obvious jokes about anatomical correctness, one wonders what the Clinton/ Lewinski playset would look like, and what accessories it might contain...
Still, I think the "Tickle Me" Jenna doll is going to prove to be most popular of the line.
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