League of Melbotis

Randy writes:

Dear Mel,

Is it better to have love and lost than to not have loved at all?

Dear Randy,

Mel have pondered question for long time and now ready to answer. But before Mel answer, Mel consult many around him. Chubby man-boy thing say "Who is a good boy?" to Mel. And Mel say "Mel!" And he ask again "Who is a good boy?" and I say "MEL!!!!!!" and he say, "You are, Mel! You are a good boy! Now have a milkbone." and I know that chubby man-boy thing love me.

And I ask stupid dog next door "what is love?" and dog say "bark bar bark bark I am stupid bark bark bark".

So I ask cat, and cat say "Jeff love many thing. Jeff love blanket, stuffed hippo, cushion on couch and anything Jeff can get paw on." So Mel sleep with one eye open.

So Mel ask white lady "What is love?" and lady say "who is good boy?" and I say "MEL!" and she say "Good boy! Shake!" and Mel give her paw. And that seem okay. So then Mel think, white lady and chubby man-boy thing put Mel in jail not so long ago, and nobody there but many stupid dog who bark bark bark, and that kind of sucked. So no love, Mel think like laying on cement and having to listen to stupid dog bark bark bark all day. And Mel not sure when he escape, but Mel does, and then all better.

For cat, no love mean being chased away from cushion or pillow or blanket, and then maybe no love at all better.

So, Randy, if by love, you mean love blanket and pillow and stuffed hippo, then mel say, better never to love at all.