League of Melbotis

The League Presents

THE RHPT INTERVIEW

You guys know Randy as RHPT, but did you know...?

In some patients with kidney disease a complex sequence of events can cause the parathyroid glands to become overactive and produce too much hormone. This leads to an excess of calcium in the blood, most of which is drawn from the bones which are thereby damaged. Some of this excess calcium may be deposited in other structures such as blood vessel walls where it may cause damage. This sequence of events is known as renal hyperparathyroidism (RHPT). RHPT may persist even when the original damage to the kidney as been corrected by dialysis or by transplantation.

read more here

As many of you may have read, Maxwell interviewed The League just the other day. Part of the routine is, of course, that once interviewed, you should try to interview others.

So I interviewed Maxwell (expect results on Monday over at Cowgirl Funk), and RHPT. RHPT has popped up quickly with his answers to my FIVE probing questions. Here, against my better judgement, I am posting Randy's responses in full.

1) You've long known Jim D. What, exactly, was Jim like in high school? Because he sounds a bit like George Will with a good record collection.

Jim D. in high school was very similar to Jim D. now, except there was a lot less faux cynicism and angst. I think Jim tried very hard to be Rob Gordon from High Fidelity. In fact, he was sort of a "hanger-on" to one particular high school band that some of his friends formed. I think Jim got his pick of the looked over groupies and/or mistreated girlfriend(s).

Three particular moments from high school, involving Jim sticks in my mind.

1) Days after convincing my parents to let me drive to school solo, Jim asked for a ride home. Trying to display my newfound coolness, I agreed. However, on the way to Jim's home, I was involved in a fender-bender (due to, if I recall correctly, trying to switch radio stations after Jim turned the dial). As you can imagine, I freaked out. Jim, being such a good buddy, ditched me and hitched a ride home with another friend who happened to be passing by the scene of the accident. Leaving me alone and scared.

2) During my junior year, the Journalism teacher, Ms. Cummins, was considering making me co-editor of The Oracle for the next school year. Jim, having been the sole editor during the past year, convinced Ms. Cummins to give me the title "Managing Editor" instead.

3) Jim drove a blue and white van during his later high school years. He used to tote me around town in it, and, being a van, it was fairly roomy, so I would occasionally put my feet up on the dash. Jim never said anything about it. However, once, while driving in my old '82 Celica, Jim props his feet up on my dash, leaving a big old nasty shoe mark. I got the hint.

4) In his first semester as editor of the aforementioned Oracle, Jim bored every student in the school with a 4-page insert about the 1992 Republican National Convention held at the Astrodome. (I think Jim had a press pass or something), and he followed that up with another 4-page insert about liberal elitism in the media. Heavy stuff. Of course, Jim also managed to get a press pass to the '92 Lollapalooza (you know, the good one), and out of every high school paper in the country, we probably had the best review of the concert. (To this day, I still do not know how Jim received those passes).

Jim also bought most of my CD collection at bargain basement prices ("The Great CD Purge of 1992", as he likes to call it). I think I used most the money to buy comics, but I don't think that has any relevance to the question.

2) You awaken with mysterious powers.
a) What are they?
b) Would you tell anyone?
c) Would you use them for good or evil?
d) Would you let me give you a cool code-name?

• I would have the "Fold-powers" like Arno in The Fermata
• Most likely, I would tell no one
• I would probably use my powers for evil - until Emily finds out and makes me use them for good.
• Sure, why not? (editor's note: All righty, Mr. Pause)

3) You are 16 but suddenly have all the knowledge you currently store. However, the Magic Fairy tells you that you cannot merely use this knowledge for financial gain. What three things would you do differently?

• I would not act like such a creepy dork and dressed better
• I would have insisted to my parents on going to Seattle University
• I would not have had such an inferiority complex

4) You get to punch one celebrity. Free hit. Whom do you hit and why? Also, head or gut?

Unlike Jim, I am not opposed to celebrities. I tend to find them bemusing, and through People and US magazine, I live through them vicariously. So this is a difficult question, because there is no one celebrity that I just can't stand, no matter how obnoxious they act in public, because it is my belief that you, me, or Jim would probably act the same way if we were suddenly a famous person in Hollywood. However, if I had to pick, it would be the entire cast of Jackass, Viva La Bam, WildBoyz, and any other persons who has a show with a similar theme. Those are the most obnoxious shows on earth. I would bash them all over the head with a two-ton heavy thing.

5) What makes Randy tick? What gets Randy up in the morning? What keeps Randy from spiraling into the depths of despair? What makes Randy as gleeful as a little girl?

• Randy gets up in the morning because the prospects of being poor and homeless scare him to death.
• Psychotropic drugs. Lots of 'em.
• In the words of Hannibal Smith, "I love it when a plan comes together"

THE END


Want to play?

The Official Interview Game Rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below asking to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Editor's note: You can request to be interviewed by RHPT.com, The League, or both.