Wednesday, August 13, 2008

More Cryptozoological Hoo-Hah

El Chupacabra runs amok in Cuero

Reed sent this article along: You know its summer when chupacabra shows up

Note that you can link over to some video from that page, caught from the dashcam of a police cruiser.

It looks like some sort of dog that's managed to breed with little hair, or else suffers from mange. Natural selection choosing to greatly decrease hair on a dog living in Texas kind of makes sense, so I really don't know what we're looking at. And I don't know if this is the same nasty thing that's been attacking small livestock for generations. But it certainly doesn't seem like a domesticated house pet with no interest in your pygmy goats.

The last one that turned up, though, turned out to be nothing spookier than a coyote.

With this summer's earlier, and far more bizarre find of the Montauk Monster, one expects the Moth Man to be found drinking Schlitz at some bar in West Virginia.


More on Georgia Freezer Sasquatch

I found a site that had nabbed the pictures from Cryptomundo of that Bigfoot in a Freezer. Sorry that took so long.

I want to say that while the thought didn't pop into my head until I saw it online, but I suspect that this isn't just a hoax, but some sort of viral marketing campaign. Maybe for Jack Link's Beef Jerky. Or maybe an ARG spun out of control or something.


You just hope that nobody wanted those Otter Pops they left on the bottom of the freezer

here's a part of a Press Release:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 12, 2008

BIGFOOT BODY FOUND

DNA evidence and photo evidence to be presented at a PRESS CONFERENCE
to be held on
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008
Time: From 12Noon-1:00pm
Place: Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto (A Crown Plaza Resort) 4290 El Camino Real, Palo Alto, California 94306

Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. Menlo Park, California
Tom Biscardi, CEO

BIGFOOT BODY FOUND - EVIDENCE AND DNA DETAILS TO BE PRESENTED AT A PRESS CONFERENCE ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 15th

FROM 12 N00N TO 1:00PM AT THE CABANA HOTEL-PALO ALTO IN PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA

A body that may very well be the body of the creature commonly known as “Bigfoot” has been found in the woods in northern Georgia.

DNA evidence and photo evidence of the creature will be presented in a press conference on Friday, August 15th from 12 Noon to 1:00pm at the Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto at 4290 El Camino Real in Palo Alto, California, 94306. The press conference will not be open to the public. It will only be open to credentialed members of the press.
Here are some of the vital statistics on the “Bigfoot” body:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are
eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
*DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.


I won't get into how the holes that are starting to form as part of the story, but I wouldn't expect much by Friday.

4 comments:

Michael Corley said...

I love crypozoology. I love to read about it since I was in the sixth grade.

There is no big foot, loch ness or chupacapbra (not the kind that drinks the blood of goats).

There are "holy shit, that's big" creatures, like the giant squid, and more of these, mostly in the ocean will be found. That's about it.

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure that I saw a sasquatch at the gym last month.

-Denise

Steven G. Harms said...

I'm pretty doubtful of a press release that involves n-zero-zero-n for the spelling of “noon”.

The League said...

Bigfoots tend to pack on the pnds as they get older. Don't be too shocked to find them on the elliptical or working on their lats.

And, Steven, that is probably the least of reasons why you might want to be suspicious of the press release.