Friday, October 31, 2003


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

It's HALLOWEEN, LEAGUERS!!!!!

There are two big reasons why I like Halloween.



Today on my way to work I saw a fairy princess, the Cat in the Hat, a dead Cowboy, a medieval maiden and the property manager for my office suite. AND Tom, my video guy, just showed up with this insane fake nose. It's gonna be a good day.

Oh, and there's candy.



Anyhoo, last night after dinner we carved not one, not two, but FOUR Jack O' Lanterns. I had to handle three of them as Jamie was reportedly "tired." But that's okay. We also made Jamie's traditional Halloween cookies which have orange zested into them, and are way better than I just made them sound. We watched "War of the Worlds" and "Young Frankenstein" and made a night of it.

"Eye-gor!"
"Froderick!"

It works every time.



I am not wearing a costume. I was going to come as my web designer, Eric, but I didn't get my act together. So I put on the Superman T-shirt and am going to have to roll with that again. S'allright.


I didn't carve this. I found it online. I'll give it a shot next year.

I hope all of you have a Happy Halloween, and get lots of treats and tricks.


"I got a rock..."

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Hey Kids. Jim D. has sent me the link to a story on Alex Ross which appeared in The New York Times. I'm a big fan of Alex Ross's work, and I have several posters and prints (three of them signed, thank you) done by Mr. Ross.

Examples of Mr. Ross's work include the picture of Superman which appears right upon this page to your left
<-------------

The decription of Alex's house makes me want to paint my walls blue, red and yellow and finally get down with my comic-lovin' self. However, Jamie still has some sense of decorum, and I am fairly certain a life sized replica of the Bat-Signal is nowhere in my future.

I do think it's odd that the article seemed more pre-occupied with Alex's knick-knacks than with the tremendous volume and quality of his work. His collaboration with Mark Waid on Kingdom Come and his work with Busiek on Marvels may be the two keystone books which brought comics back to form from the "anti-hero" path that superhero comics were taking in the early 90's. I know a New York Times reporter probably doesn't care too much about that, but at least a mention of the wide volume of Alex's work woudl have been nice instead of a piece on "look at the freak with the toys!" Sigh. Well, he was the one who chose to dress like The Phantom for the interview.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I have watched Rosemary's Baby and Picnic at Hanging Rock. I enjoyed both films and hope to make my way through all the Halloween movies.

BTW, RHPT.com was highly irritated that nobody suggested The Exorcist. And somebody shoudl have, because in addition to being kind of scary, The Exorcist is just plain wrong. Ay Carumba, how that movie scared me when i was 14 and saw it the first time. I saw this the same week I saw The Shining and A Clockwork Orange for the first time. Quite a week int the development of young Ryan's brain.



Mel is doing well and is pleased as punch about the arrival of Halloween. His costume is the pic you can see on this site each and everyday. he will proudly go as Krypto the Superdog again this year.

He is such a good boy, and he stayed up with me and watched all of the 2 hour ender of Joe Schmo, a show I once hated but grew to watch every darn week. Mel gets a 2 cushion spot on the couch (I get one). Poor Mel will be deeply disappointed when the new couch comes and he can no longer ride shotgun while we stay up to late and watch bad TV.

Last night CBS aired "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" which is still a favorite of mine. If anyone else saw it, did it seem like they cut out a lot of the WWI Flying Ace section? hmmm... conspiracies abound.



I have several dozen little comic books to give out on Halloween. One is "Spidey and the Mini-Marvels" and the other is a lame Archie Andrews Halloween comic. I may not like Archie, but some kid might. But don't worry, we will go ahead and assist in the rotting of teeth. We have many, many bags of candy.

About 9:00 I will begin watching The Shining. Please do not call unless you notice the roof is on fire (this may also work if it's the roof is on fire in the funky, George Clinton manner).

Hey, kids! It's up to you to decide who is too extreme! Vlad Tepes, the guy who impaled his enemies on stakes, or Ann "Nude Photos of" Coulter herself! But here's the great part... you can now have them play together!

In addition to the Vlad doll in the post from Oct. 28th at 11:16, one can now obtain this little piece of modern history.

Sure to be a welcome present beneath the tree of every hateful, spiteful little girl in America.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

An excellent case for OSHA
Oh, and before I forget, just to bring things into the realm of the stupefying...

The Vlad Tepes action figure.
I just remembered I saw Underworld. Why the fuck did I go see Underworld?
As many nerds know, Bram Stoker's Dracula (go here to read the whole book) takes his name from Vlad Tepes, a Romanian Nobleman famous for his taste for the brutal punishment of his enemies. More reading about Vlad can be done here.



But my favorite part of this, as I was telling Jamie just the other day, is how we've turned this 15th Century guy into, 1st, a horrific creature of the night. It's not enough this guy did a bunch of horrific stuff 600 years ago, but we've immortalized him as a bizarre member of the legion of the undead.

From book, to play to silver screen, Dracula has wowed folks for over 100 years, and will probably continue to do so long after you or I are around.



But as a figure of Popular Culture, Dracula has been routinely co-opted in a less than respectable fashion. From cartoons to greeting cards to comedies starring George Hamilton, the memory of the original Vlad Tepes has somehow dwindled in the imagination and has been replaced by something not nearly as frightening. However, perhaps Vlad has carried on to teach us all...?

But to be immortalized as a cereal character... truly, that must be the ultimate achievement. To know that hundreds of years after your death, some twinge of your memory, some part of who you once were as a great ruler, a feared and dreaded master of all you survey... indeed, to have that changed into a wacky character on the side of a cereal box (sharing an unholy alliance with a pink monstrosity and a blue ghost), is the kind of immortality most of us can only dream of.

So Vlad Tepes, this Halloween, I salute you. Unlike hundreds of thousands of others who dreamed their memory would linger on, the butchery which occured at your hands and at your command has been memorialized as a deliciously chocolatey treat that's a part of this complete breakfast.

Monday, October 27, 2003

Threatened with a lawsuit, the Laegue of Melbotis retracts any libelous comments made about Counselor Jim Dedman's deep affection for the early 90's sunshine fun band, The Spin Doctors. New information has come to light, and we no longer believe that Mr. Dedman does now, nor has he at any time, adored the Spin Doctors.

He does, however, love The Wiggles.

Bryan Manzo is in Seattle in a band called "Pleasurecraft." You may find their site, here.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Another great tragedy personally inconveniences me...

The wildfires in San Diego mean that Monday Night Football will be moved to the stadium at my employing university. Part of me was pretty excited, because I would either (1) go home early to avoid crazy football fans, or (2) go down to the staium and see Monday Night Football live!

But. I. Am. In. Class.

That's right, I'm taking a class which meets once a week on Monday nights. And because of this class, I can neither leave early, nor may I go to see this game.

BUT, I do get to deal with the insanity which will be prevailing.

SUCK IT UP!!! you say?

It was so bad during the Fiesta Bowl that I left at 2:00pm the day of the game. See, my window faces the main drag of Tempe, and now I will get to enjoy the hoots and hollers of thousands of football fans. Not to mention I have to pass the stadium just to leave at night.

Of course Al Michaels is an alum of my employing institution, so he's probably delighted. Well, AL Michaels, you are now my nemesis!
Well, I've returned from my trip to NASA, and while I may not have piqued interest in our programs to a single space-nerd, I sure like NASA. How many places can you go to that routinely assist in space exploration, both manned and un-manned?

On the whole, I didn't see much of NASA. In fact, I saw a "visitor's check-in center" and the lobby of a building where I sat for four hours. BUT, I sat under the base for a lunar lander the whole time. Kind of cool. Mostly I talked to the lady from Alvin Community College and the lady from Concordia Lutheran, but some old UT chums of mine were there in friendly competition.

I picked up an $8 model of the shuttle and a T-shirt. Hurray, NASA!

No, I took no pictures, but had I taken pictures, this is what the day would have looked like.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

HOLY CATS!!!

left with nothing better to do, a stranded in New Orleans Jim Dedman has called me on his cell phone. But just as suddenly as called, he located the Virgin Megastore and quickly ended the conversation.

I don't talk to Jim on the phone but once or twice a year, so I feel both honored and stupified.

Hopefully he will find many, many Spin Doctors records to help him through his stay.
Rerun, we hardly knew ye.
yesterday I mentioned that I expected Vinni to be wearing a confederate flag T-shirt. Jim was shocked and awed that I did not mention his paper, from his tenure at the Baylor Law Review, on the controversy over the flag. Of what I read thus far, the paper is pretty darn readable. Jim's paper can be found here.
hey, kids! Good news! Nathan Cone of San Antonio (former "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" contestant and current Public Radio Wage-Slave) has informed me that one of the winning entries of the Halloween contest will be playing on Turner Classic Movies next week. Freaks will be playing on October 29th at 8pm Eastern, 7pm Central. This means that out in Arizona, it could play anytime between 3:00pm and 11:00pm. I'll figure it out somehow.

Okay...

There's been a huge amount of press already regarding the new CBS TV movie about Ronald and Nancy Reagan and their lives in and outside of the White House. And kicking and screaming, people keep trying to drag me into this.

No.

I couldn't care less about this movie. Seriously. I couldn't give less of a shit. Apparently it's being done by a left-wing cast and crew, which is sending Reaganites into a tizzy and has driven liberals into a mastrubative stupor. There are controversies over whether or not the depicitions are accurate in regards to Reagan's stance on AIDS and some other left-wing hot button issues from the 80's.

Look, people SHOULD have already made up their minds about what went down, and nodding in agreement or screaming at the TV isn't going to change anything. Let me put this in perspective: It's a CBS movie starring the guy from the Meineke commericals. It's going to be some awful TV and it's a big, ridiculous stunt.

If you really, really want to see this movie to validate your own opinions, as Randy says, "go nuts." If any liberal takes this as gospel truth, they're as dumb as conservatives give them credit for being. If conservatives really believe Reagan is next to Christ, maybe an injection of humanity into their depiction might do everyone some good. The "my dad can beat up your dad" mentality is fucking ludicrous and I won't have it. And, there hasn't been a good TV movie since "Benji Goes to Seaworld," so I'm not watching this one either.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Driving to work this morning, I saw a license plate frame which read "Better get out the toilet paper, because I'm the shit!" The license plate, itself, read "VINNI". Above this was a Packers bumper sticker.

Incongruously, driving the car was a middle-aged woman with Sally Jesse Raphael glasses. For some reason i was expecting "Vinni" would be missing teeth and would be wearing a faded shirt with the confederate flag printed on it. Not so. At the same time, you kind of wonder if the people driving cars with this personality are aware of what is on the back, or if they are feeling vaguely self-conscious for driving someone else's car. For example, Jamie often drives my car with no fewer than 2 Superman stickers and a license plate reading "KRYPTO". I am sure she is slightly embarassed, but what's she going to do about it?

For some reason I'm feeling optimistic today. I have no idea why. Maybe we'll settle this Israel/ Palestine issue today, or maybe they'll make Big Macs healthy! something good will happen today, i am sure of it.
GREETINGS, LEAGUERS, AND HAPPY PRE-HALLOWEEN!!!!



I am proud to bring you the results of the 1st Annual League of Melbotis Halloween Contest!

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone who submitted an entry. I’ve had a ghoulishly good time reading everyone’s entries. It’s great to get feedback and interaction with all of Mel’s friends and family, and I hope that nobody thinks that they are not a winner. You are all special people. Well, not those folks who continue to seek out nude photos of Ann Coulter. No, you are not special.

Firstly, here is a list of movies submitted by all Loyal Leaguers:

Return to Oz
Rosemary's Baby
The Shining
Night of the Living Dead
Halloween
Freaks
The Ring/ Ringu
Eyes Without a Face
Picnic at Hanging Rock
Begotten
Hellraiser
Repulsion
28 Days Later
Blood Simple
Rope
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
Bubbahotep
MGM Midnight Movies Set


Now, by this list, you can see that we had some great entries and competition was so stiff, it was spooky.

My beautiful wife, Jamie, did not qualify for the contest as her two entries were clearly intended to haunt me with distractions. She selected “The English Patient” for being “frighteningly long” and “The Star Wars Holiday Special” for being “terrifyingly bad”. Well, done, sweetie. Your prize is spending eternity with me in blissful wedlock. BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!

But, Leaguers, I didn’t need to go to my mummy for advice on this year’s pick for most requested movie.

The Shining appeared in no fewer than three lists, and managed to scare up the award for most popular selection. The combination of Kubrick’s claustrophobic direction, King’s spooky story, Nicholson’s haunting performance, and Scatman Crother’s ill-advised trip to the North seems to have won the hearts of quite a few of our Loyal Leaguers.

Said Nathan Cone: As a married man, it takes on a new meaning.
Make of that what you will, Renata, but you might want to make sure the window in the bathroom is wide enough for a quick escape.
Said Anne Francis: To think Steven King didn't like this version just proves he's the ultimate hack.

Well said, Anne. HACK HACK HACK, WHACK WHACK WHACK HEEEERE’S JOHNNY!!!!!!!!



Before I announce the winner, I’d like to remind everyone that the contest wasn’t as much about what movie you picked, but rather about how the movie was described. With that in mind, I’ll exhume some quotes from some of the entries.

Return to Oz: I first saw this movie when I was five and I don't think I slept well for weeks. … While the Wizard of Oz was magical and enchanting, Return to Oz was terrifying, playing on kids' fears of strange grown-ups and abandonment by their guardians, not to mention the sheer terror created by screw-top bodies and flying moose heads that disintegrate in midair. It's a wonderfully made movie, actually a blend of the two Baum books following the Wizard of Oz, and plenty of people think it conveys the mood of the novels far better than the Wizard movie did, but whoever decided to market it to small children has a sadistic streak a mile wide.

Rosemary’s Baby: Well acted, well directed (Roman Polanski) and well written - even for a movie made in 1968 (not my favorite movie period - horror from this era is usually over-the-top); and to think Mia Farrow was married to Frank Sinatra during the filming of this movie is scary enough!

Picnic at Hanging Rock: Those in the mood for a Film that wraps up neatly will be disappointed, but if you're in for a movie that's a true riddle inside an enigma, check this one out. Lots of weird Zamfir panpipe music is a bonus, and I can't think of another film that's used the Beethoven "Emperor" concerto to better effect.

Repulsion: An instructive primer on why not to let in-laws live in your apartment. And why you should always, always *always* have meds on hand.

28 Days Later: Always make damn sure you know how to change a tire very, very quickly.

Rope: Bodies tend to stink up the joint when you're entertaining. Emily Post would not approve.

Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer: I don't remember it being that gory, but it is one of the most disturbing movies I have ever seen.

Bubbahotep: Yah, it's got.. Bruce Campbell as Elvis in his old age, Ossie Davis as JFK, combating ancient Egyptian flesh eating mummy curse... it's got many reputable film festival awards too. No shit..


Kids, the winner is Laura Maxwell for her stunning description of both The Shining (which already won, and so I am excused) and of Freaks

The Shining: When you were a kid, did you have one of those big wheels? Redrum. I bet you did. Redrum. I did. Redrum. I liked to ride it around the neighborhood. Redrum. Then one day my daddy said I could take it to work, so I rode around the empty halls, turning the corners, carpet, floor, carpet, floor, carpet, floor, carpet, TWO DEAD GIRLS CHANTING PLAY WITH US AND A BUNCH OF BLOOD COMING FROM THE ELEVATORS AND LET'S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN ROOM 237 AND WHY IS THAT GUY WEARING A BEAR COSTUME AND JUST WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT GUY, DADDY? REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM!

Freaks: Not so much scary as truly disturbing, Freaks tells the story of a trapeze artist, a midget, and a bunch of "REAL LIVE FREAKS". What could go wrong?
The first time I saw this movie I was so uncomfortable I couldn't stop laughing. Not in a ha ha, look at the funny freaks way either. More like a "Dear GOD what is that THING?" kind of way, which sounds terribly Princess Bride and horribly un-PC...scary stuff indeed. Plus, I imagine watching this movie will enhance your enjoyment of Carnivale, or pretty much any Carnie work created in it's shadow. Bonus: Chant "One of Us One of Us" at the dinner table and know what it referenced before the Simpsons.





Here's my problem. Freaks is only available on VHS, and all outlets I can find it at are going to take 3 weeks to get the video to me. I'm kind of wary of buying anything on VHS, but I may yet do so. Left with a sticky situation, I have resumed my Netflix membership and am bringing in:

Rosemary's Baby
Hellraiser
Picnic at Hanging Rock


I can guarantee I will watch The Shining on Halloween (I already own it), and will try to squeeze in as many movies as I can over the next week and a half.

This contest has been a lot of fun for me, if not for you, and I hope you all enjoyed it.

Now go out there and have a spooky Halloween.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Sounds like my brother has adopted a pooch from his local ASPCA. Apparently he's picked up a three-legged black and white puppy. He's still working on a name. I suggested "Tulip", but I don't think he went for it.

I am so pumped. I can't wait to meet his dog! Hopefully he'll bring her home for Christmas.

DC Comics (home of Superman) released it's solicitations for January today. While many, many interesting projects are being released in January, sometimes a cover comes along that says it all... and makes you sit on pins and needles to know what's going to happen.


cover to Superman/ Batman #6

HURRAY!!!! Lex is back in his armor and ready to take on the world! Looks like Jeph Loeb and Ed McGuinness may have finally found a way to move Lex from Billionaire tycoon to Crazy Scientist, and give him a good reason for wanting to take down the World's Finest!

This, my non-comic reading friends, is the kind of fun I'm looking for in my comics.

Monday, October 20, 2003

After class, I returned to my desk to find this in my AIM window:

jdedman4: you hate everything good

Hmmm, I said to myself. He is not the first to express the thought. In this case, i think he was referring to my dismissal of The Spin Doctors in an e-mail. It's hard to be sure. I also hate brussel sprouts, and I've been told they are very good for you. I also hate nuns and kittens, just for the record.

They have begun to string Christmas Lights on the street outside my office. Not just string, though... the lights hung are already on. It's 100 degrees out, and I'm expected to get in the spirit. Australians must hate Christmas.