How can we cheer up the USC Trojans after their miserable defeat at the hands of the Mighty Longhorns of the University of Texas?
With SONG AND DANCE.
Thanks to RHPT for the link.
Also, from Reed-o...
Up is down, black is white...
Friday, January 06, 2006
Thursday, January 05, 2006
COMIC NERDS, AHOY!!!!
So, you may say to yourself: How does The League spend a week off from work?
Leaguers, the answer isn't pretty, but it is simple.
The League spent last week inventorying our vast and growing comic collection.
The reason for this are two-fold:
a) We can have a record for insurance purposes
b) We can also use the nifty database at ComicPriceGuide.com to SELL our comics.
Now, the key word here is, of course, SELL. The League swore once upon a star that we would never, ever sell our comics. And then one day, not so very long ago, The League sat back, took a breath and realized that the closet we use to store our comics is full. Now, when we put comics in their neat little nylon baggies with the acid free backing board, we get a good look at what's there. But we also only do this about once every 5-7 months. This means twice a year we get a harsh reminder that we have a lot of comics we really don't think we need anymore.
The Inventory:
Now here's the deal. I'm not done. I haven't yet got everything in the database, and I haven't got 95% of my trade collections in there.
I figure I'm 90-95% done with the actual comic books, at least knowing what I have, but I need to re-org some stuff. Why is Ultimates in with some fo my indie stuff? I don't know. I put it there a few years ago and it never moved.
Here's the numbers
long boxes: 14
short boxes: 9
long boxes, empty and waiting to be filled: 1
Uncanny X-Men: 172 issues (roughly 14 years worth)
Batman: 118 issues
JLA: 111 issues
Detective Comics: 109 issues
Action Comics: 82 issues
JSA: 80 issues
DC Comics: 3356
Marvel Comics: 1056
Total Number of comics: 4723
EVERYTHING MUST GO
The game plan now is three fold:
a) sell a lot of comics to my store so I can get "store credit". This would essentially enable me to trade old comics for new comics. Now, I've been told that with the volume of comics I'm talking about trading, these guys will probably only want to allow me to use credit on 1/2 of each purchase, but I figure that ain't all bad. They're still running a business, and I'm still trying milk that store credit as far as it will go.
b) What they don't want (I gave my store manager a spreadsheet of Marvel stuff I'm unloading. ComicPriceGuide.com exports to Excel, handily enough) I will try to sell on ComicPriceGuide.com
c) I will also talk to my insurance agent about adding my comic collection to my home insurance. If our house goes up in flames, I'm gonna be out a lot of comics/ a lot of money.
The nice aspect of all of this is that I can move into a bit more of a cyclical pattern with comics. I can still get new comics, but I can off-set the cost of the new stuff by unloading old stuff. Honestly, the way they collect everything into trades these days, I'd just as soon have the collections as the floppy comics. If I can get money enough from selling the comics to buy the collection, groovy.
Anyway, I'm getting rid of my Amazing Spider-Man stuff, I think. That feels like a major, major step. I really need to find that stuff in collections soon if I'm going to unload it. I've apparently got some odd, key issues that are worth a lot of dough to someone else. I just want the dough.
Some final thoughts on all this
The whole thing has a really strange feeling to it. I've had some of these comics since I was in middle or even elementary school. But I also know I only look at them when I open the boxes. There's no real good reason to hang onto them.
Comics pop out at me as being from certain phases in my life. Invisibles? Shade? First years of undergrad. My issues of X-men around 210? Early middle-school. JLA? End of undergrad. Spider-Man: Death of Kraven? Roadtrip across the U.S. when I was 11 or so.
One other funny thing I noticed... I'm a quitter. I would pick up a series, read it for a while, miss a single issues, buy another two issues, miss an issue, buy one more, and then quit reading the series. I see a rough pattern like this with a LOT of comics. I try to remember why I quit reading the series, and only some series can I remember making the conscious decision that I was DONE with that series (I can't even recall quitting reading Uncanny X-Men, but I did quit several year ago).
Anyhoo, that's what I've been up to.
So, you may say to yourself: How does The League spend a week off from work?
Leaguers, the answer isn't pretty, but it is simple.
The League spent last week inventorying our vast and growing comic collection.
The reason for this are two-fold:
a) We can have a record for insurance purposes
b) We can also use the nifty database at ComicPriceGuide.com to SELL our comics.
Now, the key word here is, of course, SELL. The League swore once upon a star that we would never, ever sell our comics. And then one day, not so very long ago, The League sat back, took a breath and realized that the closet we use to store our comics is full. Now, when we put comics in their neat little nylon baggies with the acid free backing board, we get a good look at what's there. But we also only do this about once every 5-7 months. This means twice a year we get a harsh reminder that we have a lot of comics we really don't think we need anymore.
The Inventory:
Now here's the deal. I'm not done. I haven't yet got everything in the database, and I haven't got 95% of my trade collections in there.
I figure I'm 90-95% done with the actual comic books, at least knowing what I have, but I need to re-org some stuff. Why is Ultimates in with some fo my indie stuff? I don't know. I put it there a few years ago and it never moved.
Here's the numbers
long boxes: 14
short boxes: 9
long boxes, empty and waiting to be filled: 1
Uncanny X-Men: 172 issues (roughly 14 years worth)
Batman: 118 issues
JLA: 111 issues
Detective Comics: 109 issues
Action Comics: 82 issues
JSA: 80 issues
DC Comics: 3356
Marvel Comics: 1056
Total Number of comics: 4723
EVERYTHING MUST GO
The game plan now is three fold:
a) sell a lot of comics to my store so I can get "store credit". This would essentially enable me to trade old comics for new comics. Now, I've been told that with the volume of comics I'm talking about trading, these guys will probably only want to allow me to use credit on 1/2 of each purchase, but I figure that ain't all bad. They're still running a business, and I'm still trying milk that store credit as far as it will go.
b) What they don't want (I gave my store manager a spreadsheet of Marvel stuff I'm unloading. ComicPriceGuide.com exports to Excel, handily enough) I will try to sell on ComicPriceGuide.com
c) I will also talk to my insurance agent about adding my comic collection to my home insurance. If our house goes up in flames, I'm gonna be out a lot of comics/ a lot of money.
The nice aspect of all of this is that I can move into a bit more of a cyclical pattern with comics. I can still get new comics, but I can off-set the cost of the new stuff by unloading old stuff. Honestly, the way they collect everything into trades these days, I'd just as soon have the collections as the floppy comics. If I can get money enough from selling the comics to buy the collection, groovy.
Anyway, I'm getting rid of my Amazing Spider-Man stuff, I think. That feels like a major, major step. I really need to find that stuff in collections soon if I'm going to unload it. I've apparently got some odd, key issues that are worth a lot of dough to someone else. I just want the dough.
Some final thoughts on all this
The whole thing has a really strange feeling to it. I've had some of these comics since I was in middle or even elementary school. But I also know I only look at them when I open the boxes. There's no real good reason to hang onto them.
Comics pop out at me as being from certain phases in my life. Invisibles? Shade? First years of undergrad. My issues of X-men around 210? Early middle-school. JLA? End of undergrad. Spider-Man: Death of Kraven? Roadtrip across the U.S. when I was 11 or so.
One other funny thing I noticed... I'm a quitter. I would pick up a series, read it for a while, miss a single issues, buy another two issues, miss an issue, buy one more, and then quit reading the series. I see a rough pattern like this with a LOT of comics. I try to remember why I quit reading the series, and only some series can I remember making the conscious decision that I was DONE with that series (I can't even recall quitting reading Uncanny X-Men, but I did quit several year ago).
Anyhoo, that's what I've been up to.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
UT WINS THE ROSE BOWL!!!!!
Shit. We just won the @#$%ing Rose Bowl. I can't @#$%ing believe it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Eyes of Texas are upon you,
All the live long day.
The Eyes of Texas are upon you,
You can not get away.
Do not think you can escape them
At night or early in the morn-
The Eyes of Texas are upon you
'Till Gabriel blows his horn.
Wow. I will never, ever forget this one.
Oh, and one more time!
Texas Fight, Texas Fight, And it's goodbye to A&M.
Texas Fight, Texas Fight, And we'll put over one more win.
Texas Fight, Texas Fight, For it's Texas that we love best.
Hail, Hail, The gang's all here, And it's good-bye to all the rest!
Yea Orange! Yea White!
Yea Longhorns! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight, Yea Texas Fight!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight, Yea Texas Fight!
Screw you ESPN for spending all week talking like USC had this game in the bag. Wait, we're getting a Wheaties box! Heck, yeah!
Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peabo.... Dan... I hate you bastards for having tickets and getting to be there.
Golly, what a game. I almost threw-up on that last drive.
Wuff.
GO HORNS!!!
Oh, and I am naming my first born child Vincent Young Steans. Yes, I am. Or maybe my dog.
Wow. After the coverage today... Wow.
***morning update****
My intitial inclination was just to remove my quick post from last night before bedtime.
Well, as we all know by now, it was NOT 12 miners who survived the mining accident in West Virginia. It was 1 miner of the 13 who survived.
I was, like everyone else, elated upon hearing that 12 of the miners had survived and were just awaiting evacuation.
There are a lot of dangerous jobs that we take for granted, people who crawl into holes miles into the planet to bring back the resources we need to make this planet run. When you work in an office with an elevator and the biggest problem in your day is that nobody started the coffee, it's hard to imagine that day-after-day, exactly these kinds of threats hang over so many people's heads. Each time these people head off to work, it's a risk, and you know these guys don't earn any CEO wages.
Anyway, The League's thoughts are in West Virginia this morning.
***morning update****
My intitial inclination was just to remove my quick post from last night before bedtime.
Well, as we all know by now, it was NOT 12 miners who survived the mining accident in West Virginia. It was 1 miner of the 13 who survived.
I was, like everyone else, elated upon hearing that 12 of the miners had survived and were just awaiting evacuation.
There are a lot of dangerous jobs that we take for granted, people who crawl into holes miles into the planet to bring back the resources we need to make this planet run. When you work in an office with an elevator and the biggest problem in your day is that nobody started the coffee, it's hard to imagine that day-after-day, exactly these kinds of threats hang over so many people's heads. Each time these people head off to work, it's a risk, and you know these guys don't earn any CEO wages.
Anyway, The League's thoughts are in West Virginia this morning.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
ROLLERGIRLS ROLLS AWAY WITH THE LEAGUE'S HEART
The League has a new favorite show. A&E's Rollergirls.
Remember when A&E was the channel that showed orchestras and Yo-Yo Ma talking about what sort of string he used? Yeah, I didn't watch that, either.
But I am going to watch Rollergirls.
Featuring a wide array of Austin slackers who have found their calling as the stars of Texas Roller Derby, the show follows the adventures of several women as they prepare for a week's match. (curiously, there's a completely different league under the name "Texas Rollergirls". Go figure.)
After suffering through "Real World: Austin" (aka Real World: two square blocks of downtown Austin) it was fun to see people actually walking around town near familiar landmarks and being the sort of 20 and 30-something slackers the town is crawling with (cough... STEANSO... cough).
One odd bit about Austin that you certainly don't find in Phoenix is that Austinites tend to find completely useless past-times in which they strive to overachieve. Be it the Spam toss at Spam-o-rama, or building a massive kite for kite fest or becoming champion of a disc golf league, folks in Austin tend to get easily distracted (The League was a black belt in TKD in Austin. Yeah, seriously.). This distraction may include forming two completely different all-girl roller derby leagues.
In Phoenix you pretty much play golf and put TV's in your SUV.
Anyhoo, I'm in for the next few episodes. I used to watch Rollerderby on cable in the 90's, so it's fun to see both the games and the goings-on behind the scenes.
You know, once again, this post seems most appropriate for Nanostalgia.com. Ah, well. Too late.
The League has a new favorite show. A&E's Rollergirls.
Remember when A&E was the channel that showed orchestras and Yo-Yo Ma talking about what sort of string he used? Yeah, I didn't watch that, either.
But I am going to watch Rollergirls.
Featuring a wide array of Austin slackers who have found their calling as the stars of Texas Roller Derby, the show follows the adventures of several women as they prepare for a week's match. (curiously, there's a completely different league under the name "Texas Rollergirls". Go figure.)
After suffering through "Real World: Austin" (aka Real World: two square blocks of downtown Austin) it was fun to see people actually walking around town near familiar landmarks and being the sort of 20 and 30-something slackers the town is crawling with (cough... STEANSO... cough).
One odd bit about Austin that you certainly don't find in Phoenix is that Austinites tend to find completely useless past-times in which they strive to overachieve. Be it the Spam toss at Spam-o-rama, or building a massive kite for kite fest or becoming champion of a disc golf league, folks in Austin tend to get easily distracted (The League was a black belt in TKD in Austin. Yeah, seriously.). This distraction may include forming two completely different all-girl roller derby leagues.
In Phoenix you pretty much play golf and put TV's in your SUV.
Anyhoo, I'm in for the next few episodes. I used to watch Rollerderby on cable in the 90's, so it's fun to see both the games and the goings-on behind the scenes.
You know, once again, this post seems most appropriate for Nanostalgia.com. Ah, well. Too late.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Retrocrush.com presents the 100 Most Annoying Things of 2005
The League is deeply jealous of Retrocrush's list.
The League is deeply jealous of Retrocrush's list.
Sitting through these movies must be torture...
Maybe this should be on Nanostalgia.com, but what's up with all the torture going on in movies, TV, etc... ?
Maybe I've seen too many commercials for films like Saw, Hostel and Wolf Creek lately, but the latest trend isn't crazy, unstoppable killing machines (Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger), serial killers (Hannibal Lecter, etc...), or even slightly sympanthetic killers (Norman Bates).
The latest trend, as near as I can tell, is for folks to end up getting tortured for 90-120 minutes.
After watching years of Fear Factor (now, apparently, in syndication) , Dog Eat Dog and Ally McBeal, maybe we're all used to torturing ourselves with movies and TV.
I dunno. I guess that's what the kids like these days, and maybe it's not too far of a cry from House on Haunted Hill or some of those other Price movies.
Opinions?
Maybe this should be on Nanostalgia.com, but what's up with all the torture going on in movies, TV, etc... ?
Maybe I've seen too many commercials for films like Saw, Hostel and Wolf Creek lately, but the latest trend isn't crazy, unstoppable killing machines (Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger), serial killers (Hannibal Lecter, etc...), or even slightly sympanthetic killers (Norman Bates).
The latest trend, as near as I can tell, is for folks to end up getting tortured for 90-120 minutes.
After watching years of Fear Factor (now, apparently, in syndication) , Dog Eat Dog and Ally McBeal, maybe we're all used to torturing ourselves with movies and TV.
I dunno. I guess that's what the kids like these days, and maybe it's not too far of a cry from House on Haunted Hill or some of those other Price movies.
Opinions?
The League shouts "Bulls$%^!!!!" a great number of times.
Congratulations to the referees in tonight's Suns/ Knicks game. They really won that game for the Knicks.
I've only rarely seen such one-sided game calling. 3 Suns players were fouled out before the first of three OT's and 1 more fouled out in, I believe, the second OT (but that was Burke, so I'm not really sure how much of a conspiracy that one was).
Apparently, when in NY, putting your hands up when someone else shoots constitutes a foul. Also, there is no such thing as an offensive foul in NYC. Ever.
41 fouls on The Suns, 27 on the Knicks?
That was truly awful, awful reffing. The Knicks didn't deserve that win.
Congratulations to the referees in tonight's Suns/ Knicks game. They really won that game for the Knicks.
I've only rarely seen such one-sided game calling. 3 Suns players were fouled out before the first of three OT's and 1 more fouled out in, I believe, the second OT (but that was Burke, so I'm not really sure how much of a conspiracy that one was).
Apparently, when in NY, putting your hands up when someone else shoots constitutes a foul. Also, there is no such thing as an offensive foul in NYC. Ever.
41 fouls on The Suns, 27 on the Knicks?
That was truly awful, awful reffing. The Knicks didn't deserve that win.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
2006: a Year in Review
I've only been awake for about thirty minutes, but I think we've had enough of 2006 to make some calls on how this year went.
Movie of the year: the few seconds of Narnia they showed in a clip on Headline News.
Song of the Year: Polyphonic Spree's "It's the Sun". For some reason that's what was in my head when I woke up.
Meal of the Year: "Muffin Tops Cereal"by Malt o' Meal and a cup of official Ruta Maya coffee sent by cousin Susan from Austin.
Cat of the Year: Jeff
I've only been awake for about thirty minutes, but I think we've had enough of 2006 to make some calls on how this year went.
Movie of the year: the few seconds of Narnia they showed in a clip on Headline News.
Song of the Year: Polyphonic Spree's "It's the Sun". For some reason that's what was in my head when I woke up.
Meal of the Year: "Muffin Tops Cereal"by Malt o' Meal and a cup of official Ruta Maya coffee sent by cousin Susan from Austin.
Cat of the Year: Jeff
Saturday, December 31, 2005
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBUDDY!!!
Wow, did 2005 suck. Hurricanes. Tsunami after-effects. Political scandal. War. No Hot Tamales at the Gilbert WTC. Multiple hospital stays for Jamie. Cancellation of Arrested Development.
Yeah, you know what... @#$% you, 2005.
Anyway, Happy New Year, Loyal Leaguers.
And now...
The League of Melbotis 2005 Person of the Year
We name this person Person of the Year with some trepidation as we recently learned that Jim D's own mother reads this site from time to time. Mrs. D, I gotta ask that you forgive me for this one, but it was already in the works.
Without further ado, The League of Melbotis presents our first Person of the Year.
Congratulations, Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng. You are 2005's selection for Person of the Year.
Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, well... I feel really awkward with Mrs. D reading this, but... you know... Anyway, he pulled a truck across a parking lot using his penis as an anchor.
That makes him not just Person of the Year, but, in fact, MAN of the year.
Article 1 on the amazing feat.
Article 2.
Article 3.
Master Tu
Here is Tu Jin-Sheng's own website, ironcrotch.com
Special thanks to Loyal Leaguer Dan Peters for informing me of this amazing feat.
Wow, did 2005 suck. Hurricanes. Tsunami after-effects. Political scandal. War. No Hot Tamales at the Gilbert WTC. Multiple hospital stays for Jamie. Cancellation of Arrested Development.
Yeah, you know what... @#$% you, 2005.
Anyway, Happy New Year, Loyal Leaguers.
And now...
The League of Melbotis 2005 Person of the Year
We name this person Person of the Year with some trepidation as we recently learned that Jim D's own mother reads this site from time to time. Mrs. D, I gotta ask that you forgive me for this one, but it was already in the works.
Without further ado, The League of Melbotis presents our first Person of the Year.
Congratulations, Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng. You are 2005's selection for Person of the Year.
Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, well... I feel really awkward with Mrs. D reading this, but... you know... Anyway, he pulled a truck across a parking lot using his penis as an anchor.
That makes him not just Person of the Year, but, in fact, MAN of the year.
Article 1 on the amazing feat.
Article 2.
Article 3.
Master Tu
Here is Tu Jin-Sheng's own website, ironcrotch.com
Special thanks to Loyal Leaguer Dan Peters for informing me of this amazing feat.
Friday, December 30, 2005
2005 Year End Awards: Part II
Continuing the previous entry on this free-form topic...
Continuing the previous entry on this free-form topic...
TV Shows I watched regularly in 2005:
The Daily Show
Colbert Report
Headline News (oh, Linda Stouffer, you dreamy eyed babe of the half-hour news..! )
Arrested Development
Family Guy
The Soup
Monster House
Justice League Unlimited
The Office (US Edition)
the aforementioned Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which I'm not sure I care for
and
Suns Basketball
TV Shows of Note that I caught Only Occasionally:
Wonder Showzen
American Experience
City Confidential
My Name is Earl
Smallville
Comedians of Comedy
Boondocks
TV Shows I still will not watch for no other reason than because people keep telling me to watch them:
The Apprentice (both Donald and Martha)
West Wing
Battlestar Galactica
Entourage
Boston Legal
Sopranos (in fact, anything on HBO...)
Commander in Chief
Special Mention: Lost. I do watch Lost, but it's because I love my wife dearly and she asks me to sit with her each week to watch the show.
Movie I've watched more times on cable this year than I really want to admit:
Napolean Dynamite
Movies I meant to see, but I didn't, so I hope they come to cable:
Good Night and Good Luck
Syriana
Jesus is Magic
MirrorMask
Munich
The Producers
A History of Violence (funny story, that...)
2046
Movies I saw which I thought were okay, but not great:
March of the Penguins (do none of you people watch Discovery Channel? Actually, Discovery would have inserted some science in there somewhere, not just wide-eyed wonder)
Madagascar (what was the moral? Try not to eat your friends? Thanks.)
The Constant Gardner. It wasn't bad, it was just so relentlessly depressing, I wasn't really sure why I was sitting there after the first hour.
Movie I followed until literally the last scene:
Memoirs of a Geisha. I had to ask Jamie, who'd read the book, what just happened there in the last scene before the credits rolled.
Times I had to tell someone to shut up in a movie this year:
At least twice. Star Wars I had to tell someone to hang up their phone during the Kenobi/ Anakin duel. King Kong, where I walked all the way across the theater to ask some kids to shut up. It seems like it happened another time, but it's not coming to me.
Album Cover of the Year:
Kanye West: Late Registration
I've heard only part of one song off of this album, but I know one thing: George Bush doesn't care about teddy bears
Comic Cover of the Year:
All-Star Superman #1
Recommended Collection of 2005 (non-continuity/ affordable):
DC: The New Frontier Vol. 1 and Vol. 2
Recommended Collection of 2005 (non-continuity/ not-affordable)
Watchmen Absolute Edition (actually, the price I found here at Amazon is pretty darn good)
Recommended Series/ Collections of 2005 (continuity/ affordable)
Well, probably Infinite Crisis, but a special nod to Adventures of Superman by Greg Rucka. Includes collections Unconventional Warfare, That Healing Touch, and issues 640-648
Recommended Collection of 2005 (continuity/ not as affordable)
Absolutely heart-breaking. The controversy surrounding the scenes in issue #2 in a monthly format did this series a disservice that should have been foreseen and avoided. We can save the debate of that choice for later.
As a single read, the series works significantly better, and has the feel of a book rather than episodic, issue driven plot points. Definitely worth a review. And definitely not the comfort food provided by so many DC comics.
Well, that's it for Part II. I'm pooped. If anyone has any suggestions for additional categories, let me know and we may see a part III.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
The League (with Special Guest: Steanso) Taste Tests the Jones Soda Holiday Collection
The League is usually full of bad ideas, and, upon occasion, bad ideas that affect other people. Part of the new and improved Steans/ McBride gift exchange is the placement of "Santor" gifts under the tree.
This year, in addition to an unopened Richard Marx album which had been following The League around since 1996, Santor also gifted the visiting Steanso with the Jones Soda Holiday Collection. Apparently we got the National release vs. the regional release. In either case, I am fairly certain the results would have been similar.
Jeff the Cat takes a look at the collection.
Steanso carefully considers the journey upon which we are about to embark.
The collection includes five Holiday Dinner flavors, a spork and a moist towlette.
We took a wee wiff of each flavor before beginning the taste test.
Brussel Sprouts.
Turkey & Gravy
Wild Herb Stuffing
Pumpkin Pie
Cranberry. Which we spilled all over the counter and floor. It's okay. It's a taste test, not a "let's drink the whole bottle test." We used to have those, but it didn't involve soda. We called that "college."
Allrighty. Each of the Bros. Steans got a tiny, holiday and/ or animal themed cup with a tatse of the soda, plus some ice to keep it chilly.
The League hates Brussel Sprouts more than we hate Candian Baby-Eaters, but we also brought this upon ourselves, so it's up to us to go forward and take the first drink. At this point, the smell was already getting to me, and I wanted to call an abort on the whole plan. Unfortunately, the Bros. Steans are really good at egging each other on into unknown and foolish territory.
We had picked Brussel Sprouts first, knowing it had, by far, the foulest smell, and we might as well get it out of the way.
If evil has a taste, it's Brussel Sprout soda. Mother of Christ. Every animal instinct in my body kicked in, fight or flight alarms going off in my head. I almost vomited, even with just the tiniest taste of Brussel Sprout Soda in my mouth.
Luckily, Jamie was on hand with a canister of Tic-tacs.
At this point I beg for an abort and to discontinue the process, but Steanso is having none of it.
Steanso takes a sip. Unfortunately, the reaction shot here isn't really captured. I believe his exact words were "Jesus Christ (Bleep)".
He also had a Tic-Tac.
Steanso was up at bat and went for the Turkey and Gravy Soda.
Don't be fooled. It's not a smile. That's the same look Steanso gets when he's about to stand up and punch you in the mouth. You can't punch Turkey & Gravy Soda in the mouth. Notice, he's sweating. His fight or flight instincts have also kicked in.
The League also finds Turkey & Gravy soda unpleasant, but after Brussel Sprout soda, T&G tastes like a fine wine. It really has little taste at all, for which, in this case, we're eternally grateful.
Next up, Wild Herb Stuffing. We LOVE herb stuffing. Just not so much in soda form. It doesn't really smell like much of anything, but the color is that of a day-old colostomy bag. Nothing good can come of this. But, when we're done, we have only two more sodas left, and they're desert sodas. So, bottoms up.
Ughhhh... not good. And now my stomach is hurting from tasting bad things. We don't want to ever eat anything ever again.
Pumpkin Pie! Mmm-mmm! Steanso takes a sip, hoping for the smooth flavor of Mom's pumpkin pie. He is non-plussed and a bit repulsed.
The League almost throws up again. Pumpkin-pie is delicious. I have no idea what those bastards at Jones Soda were up to, but this ain't pumpkin. I spit and spit, feeling my stomach trying to squeeze out the poison which isn't even there.
This one was a surprise. I had expected it to be sort of okay, but instead it was like getting kicked in the crotch by your favorite aunt.
Last soda! Cranberry! Or, more accurate, gelatin cranberry sauce artificial flavoring! Steanso gives the "sign of the devil" as he prepares to take his final sip.
Delicious? Well, it didn't cause wretching.
It smells like cranberry juice cocktail, which The League likes a lot.
It doesn't not taste like cranberries, but our stomach is full of glass shards, our mouth is going numb and, if we were alone right now, we'd probably sit in the corner, rocking and crying ourself to sleep.
All in all, a Christmas Day miracle.
What you can't tell here is that I'm angry. I'm not really sure why, but it's that same sort of angry you get when you've just been through something pretty awful, like almost getting hit by a car, and you're just pissed. That's how I felt pretty much until I went to bed.
A novelty soda is a novelty soda, and The League had to learn this the hard way. Steanso deserves a gold star for putting up with this taste test, let alone partaking.
****UPDATE****
After reviewing the Taste Test post, Jamie asked if I would do this over again knowing what I know now.
I want to say "Of course!", but I'm gonna be honest with you... I wouldn't voluntarily drink any of these things again. Did I learn anything? No. My sense of smell forewarned me, my sense of taste confirmed it. My lizard brain knew enough not to drink this piss, and I went ahead and did it anyway. Sometimes you should really go with your gut.
The League is usually full of bad ideas, and, upon occasion, bad ideas that affect other people. Part of the new and improved Steans/ McBride gift exchange is the placement of "Santor" gifts under the tree.
This year, in addition to an unopened Richard Marx album which had been following The League around since 1996, Santor also gifted the visiting Steanso with the Jones Soda Holiday Collection. Apparently we got the National release vs. the regional release. In either case, I am fairly certain the results would have been similar.
Jeff the Cat takes a look at the collection.
Steanso carefully considers the journey upon which we are about to embark.
The collection includes five Holiday Dinner flavors, a spork and a moist towlette.
We took a wee wiff of each flavor before beginning the taste test.
Brussel Sprouts.
Turkey & Gravy
Wild Herb Stuffing
Pumpkin Pie
Cranberry. Which we spilled all over the counter and floor. It's okay. It's a taste test, not a "let's drink the whole bottle test." We used to have those, but it didn't involve soda. We called that "college."
Allrighty. Each of the Bros. Steans got a tiny, holiday and/ or animal themed cup with a tatse of the soda, plus some ice to keep it chilly.
The League hates Brussel Sprouts more than we hate Candian Baby-Eaters, but we also brought this upon ourselves, so it's up to us to go forward and take the first drink. At this point, the smell was already getting to me, and I wanted to call an abort on the whole plan. Unfortunately, the Bros. Steans are really good at egging each other on into unknown and foolish territory.
We had picked Brussel Sprouts first, knowing it had, by far, the foulest smell, and we might as well get it out of the way.
If evil has a taste, it's Brussel Sprout soda. Mother of Christ. Every animal instinct in my body kicked in, fight or flight alarms going off in my head. I almost vomited, even with just the tiniest taste of Brussel Sprout Soda in my mouth.
Luckily, Jamie was on hand with a canister of Tic-tacs.
At this point I beg for an abort and to discontinue the process, but Steanso is having none of it.
Steanso takes a sip. Unfortunately, the reaction shot here isn't really captured. I believe his exact words were "Jesus Christ (Bleep)".
He also had a Tic-Tac.
Steanso was up at bat and went for the Turkey and Gravy Soda.
Don't be fooled. It's not a smile. That's the same look Steanso gets when he's about to stand up and punch you in the mouth. You can't punch Turkey & Gravy Soda in the mouth. Notice, he's sweating. His fight or flight instincts have also kicked in.
The League also finds Turkey & Gravy soda unpleasant, but after Brussel Sprout soda, T&G tastes like a fine wine. It really has little taste at all, for which, in this case, we're eternally grateful.
Next up, Wild Herb Stuffing. We LOVE herb stuffing. Just not so much in soda form. It doesn't really smell like much of anything, but the color is that of a day-old colostomy bag. Nothing good can come of this. But, when we're done, we have only two more sodas left, and they're desert sodas. So, bottoms up.
Ughhhh... not good. And now my stomach is hurting from tasting bad things. We don't want to ever eat anything ever again.
Pumpkin Pie! Mmm-mmm! Steanso takes a sip, hoping for the smooth flavor of Mom's pumpkin pie. He is non-plussed and a bit repulsed.
The League almost throws up again. Pumpkin-pie is delicious. I have no idea what those bastards at Jones Soda were up to, but this ain't pumpkin. I spit and spit, feeling my stomach trying to squeeze out the poison which isn't even there.
This one was a surprise. I had expected it to be sort of okay, but instead it was like getting kicked in the crotch by your favorite aunt.
Last soda! Cranberry! Or, more accurate, gelatin cranberry sauce artificial flavoring! Steanso gives the "sign of the devil" as he prepares to take his final sip.
Delicious? Well, it didn't cause wretching.
It smells like cranberry juice cocktail, which The League likes a lot.
It doesn't not taste like cranberries, but our stomach is full of glass shards, our mouth is going numb and, if we were alone right now, we'd probably sit in the corner, rocking and crying ourself to sleep.
All in all, a Christmas Day miracle.
What you can't tell here is that I'm angry. I'm not really sure why, but it's that same sort of angry you get when you've just been through something pretty awful, like almost getting hit by a car, and you're just pissed. That's how I felt pretty much until I went to bed.
A novelty soda is a novelty soda, and The League had to learn this the hard way. Steanso deserves a gold star for putting up with this taste test, let alone partaking.
****UPDATE****
After reviewing the Taste Test post, Jamie asked if I would do this over again knowing what I know now.
I want to say "Of course!", but I'm gonna be honest with you... I wouldn't voluntarily drink any of these things again. Did I learn anything? No. My sense of smell forewarned me, my sense of taste confirmed it. My lizard brain knew enough not to drink this piss, and I went ahead and did it anyway. Sometimes you should really go with your gut.
In case you missed it, The League has posted several links for you to peruse.
Apophis, a gigantic meteor, will probably destroy the earth in 2036. I'm cancelling my IRA now. Read more here.
Superman entertains little kids in Germany. You don't see Batman doing that, now do you?
Metropolis, Illinois is erecting a statue in honor of Noel Neill, First Lady of Metropolis.
A trailer for a movie I can't believe actually got made for many reasons.
Rove is up to his old shenanigans again.
Official site for the upcoming "Miami Vice" movie. Thanks to Randy for the link.
Now, from Mattel, an impossible to obtain (literally) action figure of Hal Jordan for JLU.
Apophis, a gigantic meteor, will probably destroy the earth in 2036. I'm cancelling my IRA now. Read more here.
Superman entertains little kids in Germany. You don't see Batman doing that, now do you?
Metropolis, Illinois is erecting a statue in honor of Noel Neill, First Lady of Metropolis.
A trailer for a movie I can't believe actually got made for many reasons.
Rove is up to his old shenanigans again.
Official site for the upcoming "Miami Vice" movie. Thanks to Randy for the link.
Now, from Mattel, an impossible to obtain (literally) action figure of Hal Jordan for JLU.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
NORAD + Santa = Your Merry Christmas
If you're looking to track Santa, you don't need to do it yourself. NORAD is on the case!
The League just called NORAD and spoke with a very nice soldier who told us that Santa is in Russia.
To track Santa, go here.
If you're looking to track Santa, you don't need to do it yourself. NORAD is on the case!
The League just called NORAD and spoke with a very nice soldier who told us that Santa is in Russia.
To track Santa, go here.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Merry Christmas from The League of Melbotis
The entire cast and crew from League HQ wishes you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or however you want to celebrate this season. We're shutting down here this evening, but we won't be out of touch. Don't hesitate to call or e-mail to get the latest details of what Melbotis, himself, is up to.
Travel safe. Be good. Be good to one another.
I've made my Christmas list:
Merry Christmas, Leaguers. I don't thank all of you enough.
and Merry Christmas, Jamie. Next year will be better. I love you, sweetie.
The entire cast and crew from League HQ wishes you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or however you want to celebrate this season. We're shutting down here this evening, but we won't be out of touch. Don't hesitate to call or e-mail to get the latest details of what Melbotis, himself, is up to.
Travel safe. Be good. Be good to one another.
I've made my Christmas list:
- Peace for myself and my family.
- Peace for the world and a little understanding.
- A bit of joy and happiness.
- Strength to do the right thing.
- Wisdom to know what the right thing might be.
- Hope for a better tomorrow.
- And time. Time enough to let those I love know what they mean to me.
Merry Christmas, Leaguers. I don't thank all of you enough.
and Merry Christmas, Jamie. Next year will be better. I love you, sweetie.
I think I failed to mention this, but since it's come up once already today...
Jamie and I will not be in Houston or in Texas over Christmas. We are staying in Arizona. Lucy is at a critical juncture in her flight training, and it would be remiss of us to take her out of pilot school for even a few days.
Steanso will be coming into town on the 23rd, so we won't be totally abandoned out here.
If you were planning to try to get in touch, sorry about that. Hope you can somehow struggle through the Holidays without The League's own personal brand of Holiday cheer.
Love,
The League
Jamie and I will not be in Houston or in Texas over Christmas. We are staying in Arizona. Lucy is at a critical juncture in her flight training, and it would be remiss of us to take her out of pilot school for even a few days.
Steanso will be coming into town on the 23rd, so we won't be totally abandoned out here.
If you were planning to try to get in touch, sorry about that. Hope you can somehow struggle through the Holidays without The League's own personal brand of Holiday cheer.
Love,
The League
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)