Saturday, March 11, 2006

Possible Hiatus! Get your Mellie Noms in!

Hey, Leaguers! Here's my schedule for the next week:

Tonight, my in-laws are here.
Tomorrow, my parents are here.
Wednesday, I think everybody leaves.
Wednesday night, Doug and K arrive
And, I assume, they're leaving at some point.

So, anyhoo, I just realized my time spent in the wild world of blogging will probably be nil for about a week.

You guys are on your own.

In the meantime, send in your Mellie noms. If you're Steanso and you thought it was okay to send in one word answers, try again.

We'll be back as events warrant. In the meantime, go over to Nanostalgia.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Report From K-ZOO, MI
I know you were wondering how our man in Kalamazoo is doing. Arden is, apparently, big into citrus. Which is good. That's calcium for his growing bones.


Arden and an unknown companion enjoy half of a grapefruit

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Orson Welles: Dark Knight Detective

Check it out. Shoemaker sends an article from a few years ago by comic scribe Mark (Ultimates) Millar.

I knew that American icon Orson Welles had once portrayed "The Shadow" on a radio show, but I wasn't aware that at one point Welles had been in development on a "Batman" movie.

Read more here.

This sounds totally amazing, if true. I'd never heard this before, and I've seen no evidence any other place. But, what the hell... I choose to believe it because it sounds pretty kick-ass.
Shall we to Ostrich Fest?

It's the 18th Annual Ostrich Fest here in Chandler, AZ this weekend. Completely unrelated, I've got both Jamie's folks en route, but the Admiral and KareBear shall be here on Saturday. That's a lot of parents by anybody's count.

So, realizing I shall have to entertain a lot of grown-ups, I am wondering, do I take them to the Ostrich Festival? After all

Friday night's entertainment is... JOAN JETT AND THE BLACKHEARTS (and you know what, Leaguers..? I DO love rock 'n roll).

Saturday: The Village People and The Little River Band.

Sunday: CHARO!!!! Yes, Charo shall be gracing our fair little hamlet with her oversized... uh, personality. Huzzah! It's Charo.

Who knows what mysteries await us this weekend? I really, really have to think of someway to entertain the parents before The Moms get into some kind of knife fight or parenting stand-off.

I dunno. I'm considering taking the four of them out to the desert and letting them try out the whole survivalist thing.
Former Beatle to save monkeys in Chandler?

Dolph sends this article.

I, for one, would like to think no monkeys will be injured in the making of this suburb.

Look, what am i supposed to say? I like people jabbing monkeys? I don't want bigger and better medicines approved and distributed?

This is a pickle, people. A pickle.

Now, I'm actually pretty anti-animal testing for cosmetic products. I see no reason to shove makeup in a bunny's eye at this late stage to see if it will be a problem. Have you SEEN the make-up aisle at Target? You can't get that many different colors of red if you spent all day mixing paint at Home Depot. We're done. No new lipstick colors.

Anyhow, I'll be curious to see how this pans out. I'm really excited about the prospect of running into Sir Paul at the grocery.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Year of Superman

Hey, at League of Melbotis, every year is the year of Superman. But at Warner Bros. they've gone ahead and made it official for 2006.

Check out the new website

The site features a great montage of clips from various incarnations of Superman in film and in the movies as well as information of the upcoming film "Superman Returns" and all of the DVD sets coming out.

The League has a lot of catching up to do.
Power Girl

Somebody put together a Power Girl fan film. You can watch it here.


These guys need a much better editor, or better coverage or a better sense of timing or something. The video itself isn't all that great, but for those of us who've long found Power Girl charming, the video is kind of funny.

If nothing else, you get to see what Power Girl would look like in real life. Extra kudos to the actress playing Karen for:

a) wearing the Power Girl costume and not looking embarassed
b) wearing the costume in what looks like several inches of snow (if you skip tot he end)

Extra points to the video for including Beetle and Booster, and, I assume, Black Canary.

I hadn't thought much about it before, but the recent Power Girl run in JSA: Classified pitches Kara as a good character to be spun off into her own movie or TV series. Well, maybe not the story, but the attitude is right. She's very girl-friendly as the "I'm really, really good at being a super-hero, but in everything else I do, I am a complete wreck." And boys would lihke her because she wears tights and she's bullet proof.


Anyhoo, hurray for Power Girl for getting a fan movie made, even if the creators needed to spend more time in post production.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Godspeed, Dana.

Dana Reeve, wife of actor and activist Christopher Reeve, has died of lung cancer.

Read more here.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Race From the Oscars

You can read my amazingly insightful commentary on the Oscars here.
Birthday Madness

Here's a link to Steanso's blog. See KareBear and The Admiral in action as my mother gets hosed, arms herself with a sword and dons a large hat.

Go now.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Weekending, March 5th.

This weekend marked my mother's big birthday. Jamie and I did not attend as my folks and Jamie's folks will be here next week. I hope her birthday was a good one.

Friday night we headed out to Mesa, just north of Chandler to see a band at a coffee house. Asleep in the Sea rocked most of the coffee house. But, because this is PHX, the show was cut short. Cheba Hut, a local stoner-themed sandwich shop chain was next door. Apparently the rocking and rolling was disturbing the patrons of the coffee shop, so there were exasperated sandwich shop and coffee shop employees causing a fuss during the brief set. And I thought the whole thing about being a stoner was that you were supposed to be mellow... You stoners sit on a throne of lies.

For whatever reason I was wearing my Superman shirt at the show, and was approached by a very, very drunk gentleman who explained that he was a wizard, mumbled something about his wife, daughter and the Mormon Church, something about "the seventeenth is big (bleep) day", then did some tai-chi. I suddenly remembered why I used to like going out.

A short while later, a middle-aged lady and her teen-aged son came by and the nice lady engaged me in a conversation about Superman comic books. Apparently she's been collecting since the early 60's and has vast runs of several series. I was quite jealous.

Still, once the band was done they turned on ugly overhead lights which is sort of the universal sign in a nightspot for "get out". It was only 9:10ish. On a Friday night. At a coffeeshop.

For those of you who like to tell The League that he needs to find the good out here in the desert, please understand that there is a pattern we've picked up here. Fun cannot last past the hour of 9:00pm.

So we ended up at The Village Inn near our house, a place I only like to go to when I'm feeling sort of Marge, and I had a bowl of soup and tried hard not to think too much about the alt-rock guys running the coffee shop being pissy about rocking too loud and too late into the night.

The freezer in our old fridge gave up the ghost some time ago. This week it started to smell badly. So badly, in fact, that the smell went out into the fridge as well, contaminating food that was not vaccuum-sealed. So we went and got the new fridge. Peabo, my friend, I never made it to Home Depot. Sears was running the same deal as Home Depot and Jamie had identified the fridge of her dreams.

Ice maker with ice holder in the door (more freezer space). Crushed ice or cubed. Pur water filtration system for both water and ice. Clear plastic shelving. Moveable shelves... Yes, it was a middle-class consumer's dream.

The guys showed up literally five minutes before the end of their 10:30 to 12:30 window. They took out the old fridge (leaving the filter in our front yard, I might add), brought in the new fridge which was not the correct fridge, removed the wrong fridge, wheeled in the new fridge, connectyed it and then broke the water main into our house, elaving us without water. Pretty cool. So we called Sun Devil Plumbers and Carl not only fixed the problem, but put a new valve on our main that had a swing arm valve rather than a stem. Hurray!

I did not tip the delivery guys who ended up setting me back more than $100. They did tell me "that's a million to one, that happening." Well, lucky me. I should have played the Lotto this week.

I also watched "Smokey and the Bandit" this weekend. I hadn't seen it since I was very little. Almost all of Jackie Gleason's lines were overdubbed, so I don't know if he was cursing or making racial epithets or what. I am not clear as to what the point of the movie was, but it's a flashback to a part of American culture that seems to have fallen by the wayside. At least it doesn't exist in any tangible form in AZ.

Tonight are the Academy Awards. Jamie will watch. I will be organizing comics. The League cares not for fancy dresses. He also saw only a smattering of the nominated movies and thinks it's silly to give awards to movies and actors. At least we think it's silly when movies like Gosford Park which were not very interesting, or original and were made-up as the movie went along win for "Best Screenplay".

But, we know you people love the Awards shows, so go to town on your Oscars. We do not hold it against you.

Saturday, March 04, 2006



From the upcoming series 52

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Greetings, Loyal Leaguers.

I haven't been posting much as there's not been much on my plate I felt was worthy of discussion. Not that complete boredom has been a deterrent in the past, but I just haven't had the energy. Plus, I've been watching gobs of porn.

Little joke there, Judy.

The Mellies results are coming in. I don't know if it's the group of Leaguers sending in answers this year or what, but the responses are a pretty colorful bag. I'm expecting the results to be content fodder for about a week, which is great, because lately, Leaguers, I've got nothing.

I think I've now got 7 responses, including two from people with whome I do not believe I've ever had any previous correspondence. It's that sort of effort, Tamara and Natalie, that makes it all worthwhile. I'm trying to get Steanso to revise his responses as he sent in only one word answers. Dedman will surely make something of that. One word responses are not really in the spirit of the whole thing. We need your comments and criticisms up here in black and blue, and we want a little explanation.

That said, other Loyal Leaguers (such as my wife) have as of yet to respond. Nathan has been curiously silent. Where are these Leaguers? Where is Shoemaker? Where is Harms?

Oh, and a special note for Jim D., RHPT has sent in his responses. And he managed to do it without writing a novel (ahem).

KareBear's big birthday is just around the corner, so I'm also losing precious blogging time working on a much requested gift. The League has been asked to create some work of art for KareBear. Well, The League was getting close to completion on Tuesday night when we totally screwed up what we were doing, and now we're trying to figure out if we should start over or try to salvage the piece by turning it into something different. Only time will tell.

Our refrigerator's ice machine died this fall, and being poor, we could not afford to fix it, nor could we get a new fridge. Now the ice machine is giving off a foul odor that is omnipresent in the freezer as well as in the fridge. The smell is in the food. It's in the g-d food. Now I gotta go get a new damn fridge. And refrigerators aren't cheap, Leaguers. Not with an ice machine and water filter. Well, I am fairly certain the fridge left by the previous occupants of this house is VERY cheap, but I am going to be looking for a more robust design and a 3 year warranty on anything I buy.

The best part is, now I get to go to Sears and have somebody spend like an hour telling me about the benefits of a wide variety of refrigerators. This is a topic I have never once before pondered. It's a brave new world for The League.

Oh, and I've asked Jamie for a word to update you regarding her pneumonia. She says "Hack-cack". Nice.

I don't have any idea if she's feeling better or not. "I never really felt sick. I just kind of felt fevery," she says, reading over my shoulder. "It's great having everything I say documented," she adds.

Now she is curiously silent... "How to get your wife to shut up. Oh GOD! STOP!" She insists with just a hint of Erica Foster in her voice.

Again... the horrible silence.

She pats me on the head like I'm Mel. It is nice. Until she points out a type-o which I fix. There is much sighing and rolling of eyes. Now a rapid departure and an addendum. "How to get your wife to leave..."

She is eating ice. And now she's gone.

I think that's all for today, Leaguers.

Keep it real.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Arrested Development to Showtime?

It's a rumor! And that's good enough for The League. Read here.

The irony of this, of course, is that we just got rid of like 15 movie channels. Just when you think you're out...

Mr. F!

Monday, February 27, 2006

Hey, ya'll.

Okay, so... today sucked. Jamie woke up around 3:45 AM and noticed, "Hey, I can't breathe." So we went to the ER and got her fixed up. Turns out she has a touch of the pneumonia. Fortunately, around our house, a touch of pneumonia is nothing to get all that wigged about. Now how does one get pneumonia in PHX? I have no idea, but if someone could do it, it's my wife.

Anyway, she's doing better. A little rest, a couple of pills, and we're right as rain. No need to move the house to the lee side of the stone or anything.

Anyhow, I am pretty tired, so I'll abbreviate tonight's post by celebrating the Suns' victory over the Houston Rockets, and this with both Amare and Kurt Thomas out. And, uhmmm... what else.

Man, I'm pretty tired. Ya'll are on your own.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Olympic Closing Ceremonies

I'm in a little late. Bear with me. Roar.

YMCA by a clown orchestra? My God. The horror. The horror. Are those aviators dancing to YMCA? Does the homoerotic spirit of the song translate well into Italian? Why do I always end up dancing to that song at weddings? Oh, yes... booze.

Now there's some fascist raising a Greek flag. I had a Gyro and Greek Salad for lunch on Friday. Delicious.

Is that Gypsy Kings? More people should dress as a cone. That looks sharp. The athletes look tired and unenthused entering the stadium. Bolare? Wow, the orchestra looks like they're on crank. Joey Cheek! That guy's a piece of work. Pressuring everyone else into giving away their hard earned Olympic money. Oh, he's going Ivy League? Well, of course he's giving away his money, he's probably fabulously wealthy. I've always suspected you had to be rich to, you know, train for speed skating-

Whoa. A new "Posedion Adventure"? Starring Josh Lucas? I want to be a movie executive. Didn't any of these people see "Swimming with Sharks?"

Jamie's doing laundry. I should help. Nah.

I am not going to miss the ten Olympic themed commercials they keep showing over and over and over. Life takes not watching Visa commercials until your eyes bleed.

Oh, here come the athletes. This is going to take a while. I'll be back.

Wait, no... they're wearing clown noses. I'm not really clear what the deal is here. That's a lot of Canadians. "That'll be a mosh pit!" Yeah, cause I think Avril "Punk Rock" Lavigne is performing. People are going to want to do the pogo and whatnot. So punk rock.

Again, what's up with the white-clad aviators?

This is really boring, and the music sounds like the stuff they play at La Madeline. I haven't been to La Madeline in, like, forever. Is it a sandwich shop? A coffee house? Is it overpriced? Only the guy in the funny hat knows for sure.

You may not know this, but The League's family hails from Finland. At least half of the family. The Admiral's family is much more typical American Mutt. But KareBear is a child of Finnish immigrants. 1) I always think it would be funny if they had my Mom standing at the end of the race under the banner that says "finish", 2) Everyone from Finland looks like my mom and/ or the people from her hometown, which is like 70% Finnish.

I need a 5 blade razor. For those "tricky" places.

I don't care what you say, those US uniforms look like the piped winter jackets KareBear used to outfit us with from K-Mart when The League and Steanso were just wee little bloggers.

Hey, Shani! Going to train in Vancouver. I guess that's good. Emily Hughes. She acquitted herself beautifully. There's that Japanese dame who... wait, now I have to watch this again? I've had this song in my head since the opening ceremonies. I guess it's from Carmen. The League is no Opera buff. It confuses me, and often features angry clowns. She can really pop around on the ice, can't she? Zip zip zip. Well, she's happy. I've already seen this. "Cool Beauty"? I had a nickname for like five minutes in 8th grade. They called me "Mueller" after George Mueller, the goofy center of the UT basketball team. Could have been worse.

Deal or No Deal? No Deal, thanks. I'll take my handbag and go.

Jamie hates the ads where people drive across a tumultuous CG landscape, serenely secure in their luxury SUV. I hate them, too, but I don't bring it up all that often. Blam, there's a skyscraper blasting out of the lush countryside. Blam, there's a freeway. And there's some lady in the passenger seat looking like maybe she has to go potty but she dare not ask her husband to pull over lest she upset his dispassioante SUV driving.

Doo doo doo dooot... This is really dull. Sorry. You guys seemed to like my "real time blogging" during the opening ceremonies, so I felt obliged to do it again.

There's Ohno. Oh no. He's still cheesey. I don't care what medals he won. He's Johnny from Karate Kid. He'd so sweep the leg. Does he have an ugly cleft chin? Why the nasty looking facial stripe? Does it look good? oh, no.

I like that S. Korean guy. He's okay. I watched this already. And I know Ohno won. They just told us that. Can't say I'm a fan of these flashbacks. Now they're trying to interview a sleep deprived Ohno. He seems fairly sober. Nobody wants to interview Bode.

Okay, gang, I'm out. This is boring.

Oh, Dad, they're going to fuel cars with corn. Sorry about your whole industry. I remember Ari Fleischer telling folks looking into alternative energy back in 2000 to please stick it in their ear. I guess that was a long time ago now.

We can't forget about Shaun White because you will show us. I like that there's now something in the Olympics you can get points for called a "fakey". That's almost as awesome as "salchow!" I have to say this, I think the Flying Tomato is annoying. But I find most 13-20 year olds annoying. I think it comes from knowing what a moron I was. Am. But, yeah, he's like my Gen Y nightmare.

Ah, Sasha Cohen. She looks like a hummel figurine. Wow. She has nothing to say. Now they're dwelling on her errors. See, Leaguers, this is why I don't even try. You're like the third best athlete in your sport, and all they can do is dwell on that one second of slip-up... I need to be involved with things where they're not going to dwell on what you did wrong. Wait, if that's true, I need a new job.

Be a part of "Walk the Line"? That seems like an odd way to sell a movie about a guy's spiralling drug abuse. "Naked Lunch"! Be a part of it! "Trainspotting"! Be a Part of it! I want to work in advertising. Apparently you can be a complete moron.

That is a tiny car.

Jamie is screaming at Lucy.

More of those damned clowns. God, how I hate clowns. Goddammit, it's more of this Cirque crap. Felliniesque? See, this is why I avoid European film. I remember when Wesley Snipes did this floating bit in "DROP ZONE". My Dad used to take me to all the Wesley Snipes movies. We LOVED Wesley Snipes. Not a lot of room for error in floating over a giant, whirling fan, I'd think.

These commentators suck. Who IS this? Enough with the Wesley Snipes guys. It's just not that great, and this post-Enya music is dippy. I miss the tree men. I also think that this would be more impressive if these guys had lit their heads on fire, a la the opening ceremonies.

Getting boring. Wait, he might leave the stadium. That can't be safe. Dammit, no injuries. I haven't watched Tron in, like, forever. And I have it on DVD. That clown car is on fire. Why? There's so much about European culture I guess I should know, but I simply... wait, those dudes have flaming pin wheel backpacks. Jamie has declared she wants one.

Now this boring dude who looks like someone who The Admiral would work with. Oh, sweet. That dude is so going to jail. I mean the guy who just rushed the stage. Note the Golden Palace.com shirt. I guess that's good advertising of some sort.

Lucy is in trouble for trying to eat Jeff, she's sitting down next to me.

Wait, this Olympic guy has been "seduced" by fairplay and the Olympic spirit? That's a little weird. I don't think that translated correctly. Why are they fighting doping? Can you imagien how @#$%ing crazy sports would be if we had all these roid freaks skiing around? I'd buy that for a dollar.

The Olympics head for Canada, eh? The mayor of Vancouver. A quadraplegic! Wow. Our mayor just has bad hair. Not the same story of personal triumph. Holy crap. Mounties. I love Mounties. O, Canada! That opera guy looks liek someone you'd see at the Sizzler. I need to learn to take Canadians seriously. One day it's going to get my ass kicked.

Transfer of the flag. This is less formal than I'd envisioned it. Volare? I'm speechless.

This Candadian mayor guy is a ruler. He has my vote.

All right! Vancouver's presentation! What will they bring? Native Americans. Man, I got those in my office. And, now... a snowmobile with an acrobatic snow skiier. Oh, man. Yahoo Serious. This is starting to suck. Badly. Wait, that was cool. "This remind sme of Ice Age" says Jamie. Not cool. Wait... Whales? Now I'm scared. Is this a tribute to the agricultural products of Vancouver?

There's a uniform suckiness to all of these things, isn't there?

If this is Vancouver, Vancouver is dumb. A fish. Great. Oh, it's Avril Lavigne. And she's blonde. Wow, she's really evolved from a one-hit wonder into a bland, forgettable artist. I'm sure she's still HUGE in Canada. Are there more Cirque clowns running around? Oh, for the love of Mike.

A tribute to something... a flag is being lowered. Well, so far, no Bryan Adams. We're doing well. Those are nice hats.

Man, who spent all the time coming up with all this ceremony? I mean, this is a lot of work.

Oh, good, singing kids. And an accordian. Just what the doctor ordered to break up the mood. There goes the flag. Bye, flag. Ah, they turned off the rings. My Mom must love all those dopey kids in their angel outfits. Stuff like that makes her giddy. That and Neil Diamond. She LOVES Neil Diamond. Oh, and an angelic aviator. I am definitely missing something.

I've never seen "The Apprentice". I don't like self-serving over-achievers, and I don't like to see people making asses of themselves on TV.

They're really pimping our local weather man. Keep in mind, it hasn't rained in PHX in 140 days. Why I would care about the weatherman is beyond me.

Now we get Andrea Bocelli. He looks sort of familiar. I think he's been on PBS. I think they brought in the virgins. What the hell is going on here? Bocelli looks sleepy. He's wearing jeans. Pretty freaking casual when Pavarotti wore a cape and all when he opened the games.

Seriosuly, what the hell is up with all the brides or whatever? Are these the available women of Torino? Hey, big American athlete, you want to marry local girl? We give you one for cheap. You go find one you like.

They represent hope and rays of hope. Okay. Well, you know, I remember getting married, but I don't remember "Hope" being how I felt when I got married. Trapped, maybe. Just kidding, sweetie. That's a joke.

The virgins have formed a big dove. Don't let Cheney get near them.

Oh, they made themselves into the Torino logo. Here comes some lady trudging up to the stage in a really big wedding dress. I dunno. This makes no sense. There goes the eye of Sauron.

Fireworks! zap zap zap

It just doesn't seem right without yet another rendition of Carmen playing.

Oh, great, here comes Ricky Martin. I wasn't aware he was still relevant. Oh, look, S&M outfits, As Jamie points out, that's quite the contrast they got goin' on. This is the sexiest Olympics closing ceremony ever. Much more so than that summer when they accidentally left Stevie Wonder out in the middle of a field in a giant, floating piano. Ricky Martin must have a very interesting view of the world. I guess I'm a little jealous.

The Dan Jansen DHL commercial? See, when he fell that time right after his sister died, my mom totally freaked out. Like, seriously, I needed therapy. She was crying and crying for Dan Jansen. I still have a twitch in my eye from when that happened.

Oh, right on. NBC and Sunday Night football looks rad. I actually like Costas, and I think I'm on the record about Al Michaels being one of my favorite sports commentators.

I wonder if Shaun White is glad he came back now. I have a Ricky Martin tolerance level of like .04. This is already way past that limit. Just remember Event Organizers, when you pick an artist because you think everybody likes them, that usually means nobody is really all that much into them. Unless you can somehow bring George and John back from the great beyond, there are very few groups we'd all be very curious to hear.

Ah, Joey Cheek. He seems too decent. Nobody is that decent. Nobody. Well, maybe Joey Cheek.

And this "Do the Hustle" ice skating commercial for car insurance... it needs to end.

I watched "Law & Order SVU" once (dunh dunh). I have no recollection of the show at all. (dunh dunh)

More dancing aviators. Oh no. It's Ohno. He loves the camera, does he not? There's Abba in the background. Wait, nevermind, it's that dumb Madonna song. Toby Dawson. He seems amazed enough that he's there, so I can't imagine what it's like for him to have won.

These packages where they show you stuff you already saw? It needs to end. Cindy Klassen. Canadian. Swearing she'll be there for 2010. Huh.

Well, that's it. I'm done.

Hope you guys enjoyed. This was a pain and I plan never to do it again.

Oh, hey... Jamie was reading my post and she tells me "Bocelli wasn't sleepy. He's blind." There's been some hemming and hawing here over how I should address this oversight. Wait, that's not what I meant... oh... God. I am going to Hell. Jamie has just wrapped it up with "Ryan Steans, 'Sensitivity' is thy middle name."
Venom is coming.

Saturday, February 25, 2006



Godspeed, Mr. Knotts. You will be missed.

Don Knotts has merged with the infinite at the age of 81.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

The 2006 Mellies: Rules and Guidelines

All right, Leaguers. Thanks to overwhelming support in favor of another round of official League of Melbotis Awards (aka: The Mellies), we're going to give this a shot.

What the hell is a Mellie?

The Mellies are a celebration of the readership of The League of Melbotis. We ask you, the Leaguer, to give us some feedback not just on the super awesome content you can find here regularly at The League of Melbotis, but also we have some questions for you about this amazing world around us.

Here are some questions from a previous go-round.

Here are responses from day one, and day two and day three.

Now, some guidelines.

1) Try to answer all of the questions. The more answers we have, the more fun this will be.
2) All answers will be reprinted.
3) Thus, try to keep your responses down to a sentence or two. I don't want this turning into War and Peace. That said, a "why" is usually going to be key to your response.
4) I will also, of course, list all answers, and then make a special note of the answer that wins the 2006 Mellie. This may or may not be preceeded by a comment from The League as to why the comment took the coveted award. The League will probably also chime in with his own answer.
5) All entrants should submit answers to: melbotis_steans at yahoo dot com
6) I'm considering sending a special "thank you" to all entrants who also include their street address. So, you know, include your street address.
7) Keep it clean unless really, really funny
8) Entries will be accepted for the next month


And now, your nominating categories for the 2006 Mellies!

League of Melbotis categories

a) Why does the League obsess about _____?
b) The League needs to cover _______
c) In the future, The League should not ________
d) You should really add this blog to your blogroll


And now, on to the rest...

1) The person who is always on TV, but whom drives me insane
2) Most questionable release from a major movie studio (theatrical release)
3) Most poorly thought-out band/album/ song
4) You know what was surprisingly good, but you'd never think it? (category: movie)
5) It is bad television, and yet I cannot look away
6) You know what was the most amazing day this year?
7) You know what's surprisingly good, but you'd never think it ? (category: food)
8) God help me, but when I saw this on the news, I was secretly gleeful
9) I never mentioned it, but you know who is kind of hot..?
10) If I had a time machine with a single use, and my time travelling would not be filled with all sorts of crazy logic problems, I would go back to fix this one thing this year
--in my personal life
--on a more macrocosmic level
11) Best item at Burger King
12) If I could force you to read but one book, it would be
13) I'm no astrologist, but I love the planets. If I could dedicate myself to studying but one planet, it would be
14) I am most like the following Hanna Barbera cartoon character


That's it! Send in your submissions, and we'll be getting back to you guys on this late in March.

beep***beep***beep***beep***beep

SPECIAL MID-DAY GORILLA RELATED BULLETIN!

The History Channel will be broadcasting a show tonight about a gigantic gorilla which lived millions of years ago in Asia somewhere. The gorilla is commonly known as Giganto. Which is awesome.

Set your DVR's, Leaguers.

Go here for more.

we now return you to your usual, non-gorilla related day.