Saturday, April 29, 2006

Catching Up with The League

Melbotis's post-op recovery goes apace. He has a big square shaved into his side, about 7" x 7", and his big old scar and stitches sit in the middle. We can't really bandage him, but in an effort to keep him clean, we've asked Mel to put on a shirt. Now he looks like a little man.


Yes, next to The League, everything looks a little smaller.


The League is shocked to learn Mel prefers Marvel to DC


Here is the plate of brownies Jamie made for me on my birthday. I forgot to post this after my birthday.




















Anniversary

As last evening was our anniversary, Jamie and I went to Primo, this odd little italian restaurant a few miles from us. The place is in a strip shopping center near a Taco Bell and a bagel shop, but it has decided that a mediocre location and an oddly spartan interior are no reason they can't have really darn good food. For some reason, probably the white tablecloths and waitstaff in white-shirt and tie, most of the patrons have decided that you have to dress up a bit to go to Primo.

Part of that pressure may also come from the fact that 80% of their patrons are from Sun City (the 50 and over community south of us), and this is their big night out for the week. So, heck yeah, these folks put on something a little snazzy. That, of course, isn't the norm in Arizona. Most places are more like Chili's, where if you have a diaper and scuba fins on, you can get a table.

Some people show up in their t-shirts and shorts, look around for a beat, then head to Taco Bell.

Others don't seem to notice, and Ziggy (the owner) doesn't really have a real dress code. If he did, the first time we showed up in t-shirts and shorts, we never would have made it in the door. What I always wonder is what the families like this do when they sit down and see the menu is not pizza, grinders and spaghetti out of a can. They don't ever get up and leave, so they must be figuring something out.

Anyway, Jamie has a new dress she got for her birthday, so she wore it to dinner. She looked lovely. I looked awful. And as I had to come home early to jump-start Jamie's car, I never even got a chance to get her anniversary flowers.

Ah, well. There's always next year.


Speed Skating and Balloons

As some of you may know, Chad Hedrick won the gold medal in Olympic Speed Skating a few months back. He's originally from the same general area of Houston where The League went to high school and where The Admiral and The KareBear still dwell.

Chad's aunt teaches at the same school where The KareBear works, and for some time they've been trying to get Chad to pop in and give a "follow your dreams" speech.

Unfortunately for poor Chad, he also works out occasionally at the gym where the KareBear chisels herself into a menacing teaching machine and guilt dispenser. Now, the KareBear is in awe of Olympians and all that, but she's also mostly interested in her class of kids and getting them inspired. So, The KareBear, not sure what this term "boundaries" means, apparently bugged Chad at the gym (using her patented guilting technique that has never quit working on The League) until he came to Kaiser Elementary and gave his "chase your dreams" speech.

Way to go, KareBear.

Oh, and apparently my Mom's school put her up in a hot air ballon yesterday. So now she wants to take Jamie up in a hot air balloon. Not sure what that's all about.


NFL Draft

The NFL Draft is upon us. The League was delighted, but not surprised, that Vince Young was in the top five picks. We're even more excited that he went to The Titans. That's a good spot for him to grow, as long as McNair hangs around to make sure VY keeps his head screwed on straight.

Reggie Bush went a surprising second. Some guy I'd barely heard of went first, with the Texans picking Mario Williams out of NCState. Reggie will be playing for The Saints. Let us all hope Reggie makes wiser decisions that Ricki.

Matt "I Look Like a Future 'The Bachelor' Contestant" Leinart wound up in AZ, which is probably great news for Leinart. Leinart, no doubt, is completely unaware that folks in Phoenix pay more attention to USC football than UA or ASU football. This guy is going to have a massive built-in fan base the second his feet hit the turf at the new Cardinals stadium in Glendale.

I didn't even know Huff had entered the draft from Texas, so I was excited to see him go to Oakland (before Leinart).

I'm glad all the debate and speculation can end. The NFL draft is necessary, but it's very boring television (I'd never watched before). Most puzzling is all the hooplah over a bunch of players who have as of yet to prove any of their NFL mettle. Even in the "remember the time..." clips they were using to fill space in the show, there's Berman, ugly and moronic as ever, talking about a bunch of players who showed up in the NFL and pretty much fizzled.

If anything, the draft is popular simply because it gives the NFL a chance to be seen on TV when they won't really be doing anything again until August.


Basketball

Speaking of sports and fizzling, my Phoenix Suns are looking like maybe they aren't a play-offs made team this year, losing two of three to the Lakers. Or, more accurately, to Kobe. It's just painful and I can't watch.

The Suns just look off, like everybody but Nash thinks they don't belong there. Meanwhile, the Lakers look brisk and confident.

Oh, and the Cavs squeaked one out last night, thus extending their stay in the paly-offs that much longer.


Baseball

This week The League has two big events lined up. On Thursday we have tickets with pretty good seats to go see the Arizona Diamondbacks meet up with the Cubbies. As The League has as of yet to see a team he's cheering for win a baseball game (could be something to do with seeing mid-90's 'Stros and then The Cubbies) I've decided to cheer for the D-Backs in hopes that the Cubbies win.

I'm trying to learn the names of the different D-Backs pitchers, but we haven't been watching enough and I don't know enough about baseball.


Rollerderby

Our other big scheduled event for this week is to toddle north to see the AZRD bout between the Surly Girlies and the Bad News Beaters. I'll be cheering on the Surly Girlies. But mostly I'll be cheering on Brickhouse.

Exit

Hope you guys are having a good weekend. I'm off to read some comics.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Melbotis Post-Op Update

Mel is doing well, though he's moving a little slow.

Last night Mel wanted to be with the peoples, but he was still sort of doped up. We tried numerous times to get Mel to go to sleep on his blanket in the bedroom, but he would then follow us back into the living room a few minutes later.

He was much peppier this morning, but he's still moving a bit slow. Lucy seems to know to leave him alone, so we're doing okay.
6th Wedding Anniversary

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Melbotis Update

Hey all - Mrs. League here. Melbotis has had a hard week, so I thought I'd share.

Last December when Mel had his yearly check-up, we asked the vet to feel a lump in his side. The doc said not to worry, it was probably a clump of fat cells, but to keep an eye on it. Early this week as I was giving Melly his nightly brushing, I noticed the lump was substantially larger. To be on the safe side, I took him to the vet again yesterday and much to my relief the biopsy showed only fat cells. However, the doc recommended that he have surgery to remove the lump so today Melly went under the knife.

The vet's office just called and said (while laughing because Mel was licking her) he was doing great! We will bring him home tonight and now he will just have to be tortured with the 10 days of ear medicine he got for his ear infections. It's dog ear medicine all around at League HQ - Lucy has an infection, too. Maybe I should give Jeff the Cat some medicine, too, just to be on the safe side...

On the whole, Mel is doing much better than he was before Lucy entered the picture. He has more energy and takes walkies with Lucy almost every night. At one time he weighed in at 122, but as of yesterday was 104! I'm very proud of him (League, you need to update the side panel with his new weight).

We love you, Melly!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Melbotis Mailbag: The League's Comic Book Continuity Manifesto

D. Loyd included this question in his Mellie Noms:

Why does the League obsess about Continuity in the DC world?

Good question, D.

For those of you who do not read comic books, comics work a LOT like soap operas. The Spider-Man comics that are released today under the name "The Amazing Spider-Man" follow the adventures of the same Peter Parker kids fell in love with in 1963. From a certain perspective, it's all been one long, continuous story for more than forty years. For good or ill, it's also been a story told by a long list of writers, editors and artists.

There are also multiple Spider-Man comics, and some have come and gone over the years, but Spidey usually has two comics going on at any time. This is usually where new readers notice continuity problems as it's tough to figure out when the events in Amazing Spider-Man are taking place versus the events in Spectacular Spider-Man.

Just to get complicated, Spidey lives in a world populated by a wide array of heroes, which means he may also appear in other comics. He might guest star in Captain America, which means that, from a reader's perspective, in six months Spidey needs to remember who Cap is and what events took place over in Cap's title.

It's supposed to be the job of the editor to make sure that there are no oversights in continuity. One of the great joys of comics is the history that surrounds the major comics and characters. The characters don't forget what's come before. They do refer to prior events, and they discuss them from time to time (or give you the necessary exposition in a thought-bubble). As a kid I first learned the names of the editors at Marvel as the editors would add an asterisk and a small box to a panel that contained dicussion of prior events. Spidey might say "Last time I fought Doc Ock I threw a brick at him.*" And then the editor would have a little pane that said "* in issue #187 -Exposition Lovin' Ralph".

As a reader, you wanted to know what was going on that made Spidey throw a brick at Doc Ock. So off you'd go to find a back issue at your local comic shop. The real point, of course, was to let you know when and how events occured. I learned about the entire storylines for Dark Phoenix and Days of Future Past in this manner before ever reading the stories.

Marvel also wisely had instituted a policy that said "assume every comic is the first comic that somebody ever picked up". I think the policy has been abandoned under Quesada for a while, but may be on the comeback. What the policy meant for editors was that any issue of a new comic might contain lots of those little asterisks. It also meant characters called each other by name a little too often, and they spent more time than a DragonBall Z character explaining their powers. They might also spend a lot of time thinking about the meaning of a fight during the middle of a fight.

As a kid, to me, that meant I was discovering a whole new world which had a rich history, where actions had consequence and meaning, and that these imaginary worlds were a heck of a lot more interesting than Pencewood Drive.

My point here is that the editors may have made the wrong decision when it comes to new readership. I'd heard that a lot of the old Marvel practices had been scrapped because continuity was too burdensome to new readers. To a potential casual reader, sure. But to the little geeks just discovering comics, scrapping continuity and references to the past means there's nothing behind the latest issue. No continuity means that there's no world to discover and appreciate, and that each issue is as disposable as the last episode of Power Rangers. Continuity and editorial control of continuity put a challenge to new readers, one that is not impossible, and one that's enjoyable to overcome as they dig out the lore and missing pieces that make up the comic they hold in their hand.

As an adult reader who knows his way around the Marvel and DCU fairly well, the need to continue to learn more and more about comics hasn't really gone away. I'm constantly learning new things about the comic publishing industry, about the folks behind the comics, the kinds of stories that were told, etc... and I still unearth new tidbits about the characters that make up the roster of the DCU. That's the fuel that sets the fire of the historian side of my comic geekiness.

To more directly answer D. Loyd's question of why I care about Continuity at age 31: What is the point of reading a story if any impact will be immediately erased by the whims of the next creative team?

I'm going to use character death repeatedly as an example, partly because the death of a character is a definite terminal point in any narrative, partly because it's terribly abused in comics, and partly because it's a lot less picky than some geeky things I could point out.

If I read a well-written story in which, say, The Flash kills the Trickster, and part of that story is that everyone knows The Flash killed The Trickster, (a) it's not going to make sense when the Trickster pops up again four months from now because "Brave and the Bold wants" to use The Trickster and, last I checked, he was dead. (b) If other characters are aware that The Flash is capable of murder, wouldn't they treat him with the proper caution? If never refer to those events again, doesn't that leave sort of a gap? (c) What did Flash learn from his experience? If Trickster never died, than we assume Flash never learned that lesson. (d) if Flash mentions the death in his own comics, and, so, say, as promise to never kill again, the Flash starts wearing yellow trunks... it won't make sense if he's wearing trunks when he comes up the Trickster again in two years becasue he was aline in "The Brave and the Bold".

Yes, these things happen.

Now multiply that by dozens of comics coming out every month, twelve months a year. It's a daunting task for an editor to keep up with, but the fans of the comics can do it, and they're spending money, not earning it.

Comics have enough problems with logic and time compression. In spite of those short fallings, what they can provide is a continuous story in which the characters grow and learn lessons, just as characters on a television program can grow and learn lessons. While some mistakes and changes are inevitable (and some, may, in fact, improve the overall logic of the comic) blatant disregard for the events of a story which many or most readers know shows a lack of respect for long time readers who have been the ones to support a title.

Similar to a television program which has multiple seasons, fans would not tolerate, say, a dead character reappearing without explanation when a new season debuts. I do not want to see movie sequels in which dead characters suddenly return to life because the writers decided they liked a death scene in the original, but they really wanted that guy, after all. (How would Godfather II have been if Sonny had just pulled up to the lake house with no explanation?). I don't want to read a book where characters are impossible to track and suddenly walk into a room when we believe they're on a boat somewhere in the Pacific. I want comics to show the same, basic respect for my intelligence.

It is true that many creative teams do find themselves painted into a corner by the work of previous creative teams. I don't find this to necessarily mean that the previous work should simply be ignored. Writers like Geoff Johns have shown heroic efforts in streamlining continuities, finding ways for apparent continuity flaws to co-exist, and basically writing to the situation rather than pretending like it never happened.

It is, in my opinion, the editor and writer's job to ensure continuity remains intact in mainline comic books. Action Comics should not contradict itself as team after team is inevitably replaced. If the writers and editors wish to tell a story which contradicts continuity, the story should be strong enough to carry itself as a one-shot or limited series. Otherwise, it is the writer's duty to find the logic in altering the continuity one way or another in their story-telling.

The popular stance four years ago was that continuity was for saps and that it damaged the industry. What the writers were publically stating was that they were being given writing jobs based upon success elsewhere, and they didn't have the appropriate knowledge to complete the job they'd been recruited to do. And, of course, they couldn't be bothered to spend a few hours reading comics to see what was going on with a title before they took it over.

What DC has managed to prove since Identity Crisis is that continuity does matter. Readers will tend to pick up additional comics if they are somehow tied together. Readers will tend to stick with a title if they don't feel abandoned by the editors. And you can explain and fix all of your continuity problems with a Crisis when things get out of hand.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Some amusing links at Nanostalgia.com

Here is my review of Ultimate Avengers: The Movie

Here are some thoughts on the all-new trailer for Flight 93.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Radio Silence

The League apologizes for the lack of posting.

Thursday morning I met with my doctor and I said "Well, I need to lose some weight. I was hoping to come up with some sort of dietary plan and maybe an exercise plan."

Dr. Chang does not suffer fools, and made it pretty clear that my getting in shape was not his responsibility, it was my own. Apparently he's quite sick of people asking how he can help people get in shape, but at the end of the day, he can't really help people eat less and exercise. "Everything else in this world," he told me "you can pay somebody else to do it for you. I can pay someone to clean my house or wash my car. I can't pay someone to work out for me. I can't pay someone to eat less."
Anyway, we had a long discussion about how my lazy caveman brain didn't want for me to work out because it wanted to store energy for fight-or-flight moments, but since I'm not routinely being attacked by wild beasts, I needed to show some will-power.
Schedule? Schedules are for losers. Every day. I must go out and exercise every day. None of this every-other-day crap. Not after work, either. After work there are excuses and things to do and distractions. So with the sad knowledge that I must now go to bed earlier, I am getting up in the dark (which in AZ in Spring is pretty early), patting Mel on the head, and putting on my sneakers.
What should I do for an exercise? I asked. Run. It's cheap and you don't need equipment or a place to go to do it. No gym membership. No trainer. Just move your fat ass faster than normal and try not to have a heart-attack.
"This is the United States," Dr. Chang advised me, "If you drop dead, they'll resucitate you."
So I'm running.
Not well, mind you. The first day I kept waiting for Thursday night's dinner to come back at me. My knees were killing me and I felt generally beat up all day on Saturday.
So I'm trying running. I've no technique and I'm mixing stretches of running with stretches of walking until I'm positive I won't vomit. And I'm only on day 4, so give me a @#$%ing break.

Memories of 8th grade keep coming back to me, when I took athleticism as a point of pride. I wasn't any track star, but I had one of the top 1/3rd times in the mile on the football team (and I was a lineman). I could run two miles and get sweaty, but not tired. Muscles and joints didn't hurt. And you never cared if people were watching you run because you might look funny.

Youth is wasted on the wrong people.

Sunday Jamie and I met up for lunch with Tami Nelson. Tami and I have orbited one another since high school, then in college, then out of college, and somehow we continue to bump into one another and occasionally keep in touch.

Tami is my token Katrina victim. She left Austin 5 or more years ago for the promise of adventure in New Orleans. Long enough, anyway, for it to become home. She evacuated herself and her world-famous cat, Tom Proctor, prior to the storm, going back to Spring for what she believed was a long weekend. She's now in Austin, and there's a story there, but it's Tami's and I don't really feel like I'm the one to share the story second-hand.

While in New Orleans Tami had become involved in improvisational comedy. The remarkable part of her story is that her troupe, scattered to the four winds in the evacuation, found one another and regrouped in Austin. They renamed themself and are now performing a mixed bag of local Austin shows and travelling to improv festivals, apparently stronger now than prior to the hurricane.

Anyhoo, it's always great to see someone out here in the Valley of the Sun. Bits and pieces of your former life do occasionally wash up on shore, and it's always interesting to see "how much did we change? Or did we change at all?"

Tami has an interesting opportunity, and if it materializes the way it sounds like it might, I'll let you cats know. Folks in Texas might be particularly interested.

Also, if you are in Austin, look for performances by ColdTowne.

Friday, April 21, 2006

SECRET WARS RE-ENACTMENT SOCIETY

Were you a Marvel Comics fan in the 80's? Sweet. So was I. Sadly I came in at the tail-end of the original Secret Wars limited series and/or sort of the beginning of Secret Wars II, which was equal parts stunning and goofy.

Mostly, I remember the awesome toys that spawned the whole series to begin with. I used to have a Secret Wars Wolverine, Captain America and Dr. Doom. I have no idea what happened to them.

Are you interested in CosPlay (if you have to ask, don't. You'll be happier)? You are? Well, The League is stunned to find an even greater dork than himself. Prepare for an atomic wedgie when next we meet.

Unless you're Lynda Carter and willing to try on the ol' Wonder Woman outfit again. Then you're my favorite person. But then I think we've crossed some line from CosPlay into some sort of territory that means I have to start shopping at Planet K.

At any rate, Leaguers, I've revealed too much already.

The point of this was:

Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Can these two people find wedded bliss?
I'm asking, because I often question Richard's ability to find his car in a parking lot




This is Richard and Laura. They've been dating since like 1984 or something. Richard apparently realized he wasn't getting out of this one, and now they are getting married just before Halloween.

For those of you going, I am here to mislead you into believing that costumes are required. So, Shannon, we expect you to dust off the Princess Leia costume. I guarantee, if you wear it, you will be the hit of the wedding.

I'm excited about Dick finally tying the knot. Sure, he's found the love of his life and whatnot, but he's also sure to spring for a decent bar.

Honestly, I don't know Laura very well. I think I met her once and she saw me eat a squash and then get drunk. I've left better first-impressions. We don't know why Laura decided Richard was a great catch, nor why she's stuck it out all this time. Maybe she really likes Dick's lengthy explanations of economics (maybe Dick was the right man for TST all along), or she can't get enough of his crazy mad dancing skills. We may never know.

Honestly, I'm hoping Dick breaks down and cries like a baby while giving his vows.

The one thing I know, if this wedding hopes to be anywhere as good as Shannon's, we're going to have to release a dog into the middle of the ceremony. Josh, it's your responsibility to find the dog.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Nanostalgia.com update

Hey, all. If you want to see some seriously geekish behavior, check out my commentary on DC Comics' July solicitations.

Go to Nanostalgia.com now.

Or, for my quick reviews of a few DC Comics from the week of 4-12-06, go here.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

It's X-Men week at Dave's Longbox!

If you never heard of the X-Men until the movies came out, this won't be for you. Or, if you think Gambit is the coolest part of X-Men (a) you suck, and (b) this might not be for you, fake X-Fan.

Few items will make me geek out like 80's era X-Men. Uncanny X-Men was THE comic which made me a comic geek (thanks Uncanny X-Men #210), taught me about hunting for back issues, gave me some colorful ideas about race, class and gender in my formative years and taught me Steanso would probably make a better member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants than the X-Men.

Dizzam. Those were comics. Shaped for, what, more than a decade? by a single writer... Chris Claremont. Damn, now that's how you do a run on a comic, Brian Michael Bendis. You make up new phrases, you give people ridiculous nicknames and you turn the ultimate villain into a good guy.

The best part of X-Men was always the completely bizarre dialogue which Claremont made his trademark. In fact, I had no idea as a kid that most of the cliches of Uncanny X-Men were coined by Claremont himself, exclusive to Claremont, and appeared nowehre else in the entire world in either conversational english or the written word. It took me years to realize I should quit trying to use them in term papers and whatnot as it always ended with me having to explain my sentence structure to my teachers.

Anyway, if you were around for the Chris Claremont run (I'm talking to you now, Reed-o), you have to jump from the hyperlink. Then make sure you review the comments section. It's pure X-Men gold.

Oh, and making Psylocke a Japanese Assassin was, possibly, the most nonsensical moment in comics history. I don't care what Jim Lee felt like drawing.
Coke Blak Taste Test Update!

Yes, Nathan, we DID try adding ice cream to Coke Blak at the League HQ Kitchen Laboratory. We bought a pint of vanilla, put on our goggles and safety equipment and went to work.

At first I thought this was going to be a roaring success, but the taste of the Coke Blak largely overwhelmed the ice cream addition. That said, you can never really go wrong with a scoop of vanilla. Like most floats, the ice cream melted rapidly and the concotion became a sort of frothy, extremely sweet mess. But I do think Coke Blak has found a home as a dessert as I think I'd be more likely to have Coke Blak again as a float than just popping open a bottle and pouring it over ice.

That said, the 4th bottle of Coke Blak remains untouched atop the fridge.

I guess this means The League has opened itself up to possible suggestions for Taste Tests. Please bear in mind, The League is not the weird kid on the playground who will eat pill-bugs for a nickel. If you have a new product you're curious about, consider The League to be a bit like Consumer Reports, but for questionable foods.
Babies, Ahoy!

Hey, ya'll. If you hadn't noticed, if you send me a picture of your kid, I will probably post it.

I guess Cousin Jim and his wife Michelle had thier kid yesterday! Everyone welcome little Walker Bridenstine to the world.


The guy on the right is Jim. Right now he is hoping the baby is less accident prone than he was between the ages of 1 and 15.


Hey, it's Arden Hermann-Wilmarth!

Arden considers the years of therapy it will take to recover from this hair-style

Monday, April 17, 2006

CrackBass gets a blog.

hey, ya'll go check out CrackBass's blog over at Blogo de Wilson. It's sure to be a good read.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Melbotis Mailbag!

Jim D. writes:
Dear Ryan, why don't you write a book? Not a novel, but a collection of personal essays and/or observations, not unlike Chuck Klosterman? Or even something like Sedaris or Eggers? Why not?

Jim,

Writing is very hard and time consuming, and unless I had a really good idea and a six-figure advance, I find it unlikely I would or could devote the necessary time. I am not sure who this Chuck Klosterman fellow is, but from his name it sounds like he might be an elder in a Lutheran church. Sedaris and Eggers I HAVE read. Unlike Sedaris or Eggers I have not really lived a life full of anecdotes that are print-worthy and/or are in any way relevant to the general public. I think if you reflect upon it, there's no justification for the sort of supply chain needed to get my bright ideas from a helpless tree to people's airport travel bags.

I will say this: if I am ever published, I hope I can hire Samuel L. Jackson to do the book on tape.

For those of you who really think I'm awesome and want to give me money, I can set up a PayPal system for you to start sending me dough.

Okay. Dipping back into the Mellie Noms:

Peabo writes

a) Why does the League obsess about NBA basketball? College B-ball is where it’s at.

Good question, Peabo. I think this is easier to couch in terms of why I don't watch college ball. The quick and dirty answer is that aside from our stint of catching UT games in the late 80's, I never paid much attention to college basketball. Then I ceased paying attention to sports from about 1991-1996. Then I started watching UT Football, some pro-football, the Spurs and a handful of other teams. To me, that was always a lot.

College ball is fun. But as occasionally as I've been able to see teams of any note in college ball (bear in mind, I get a lot of exciting ASU basketball here), versus several nights a week of Suns basketball, plus TNT's coverage... Well, it's a matter of odds who is going to keep my interest.

That, and in the late 80's when we were going to UT Basketball Camp I paid like $25 to have my picture taken with Tom Penders and he was a jerk.

b) The League needs to cover: The madcap hijinks of his suburban neighbors

I don't really know my neighbors. The guy who lives next door is okay. He's like 7 feet tall, but his wife decided we weren't worth talking to when we didn't accept their invitation to go to church. It felt like Texas all over again.

I've never seen one of the families across the street. We DO have flag-guy across the street who looks exactly like Squidward from SpongeBob. He's been dubbed "Flag-Guy" as each holiday he places literally dozens of flags in his yard. I lost count at 75 two 4th of July's ago.

Aside from that, I have no idea who the people are who live around me. Nobody goes outside in AZ.
HAPPY EASTER, LEAGUERS!!!!

Hope everyone is having a festive Easter Sunday. I'll be back to post more this evening.

Jamie and I went to the Diamondbacks/ Astros game last night, and it was quite a game if you were an Astros fan. We're impartial, and thus decided to root for our hometown team so as not to draw the ire of our fellow ticket holders.

Baseball is a great spectator sport, and not just because nobody cares if you throw peanut shells all over the place. We had fairly good $10 seats and spent most of the game reclined and taking in the open-air stadium.

It was also Jackie Robinson Night, which was pretty cool. As a kid I had a book on Jackie Robinson that I read over and over (where IS that book?). MLB or the D-Backs had put together a nice video package for the Jumbotron and the D-Bakcs trotted out a former owner of the Kansas City Monarchs (which meant that guy knew Jackie in the Negro Leagues prior to moving to Brooklyn) and a couple of local dignitaries.

And here's a cool thing about an open-air stadium (but has little to do with Jackie Robinson): four F-16's tore over in formation at the end of The Star Spangled Banner. Unfortunately, they flew over at an angle that must have been amazing from the other side of the stadium, but I couldn't see anything but one wing.

C'est la vie.

We left during the seventh inning stretch when we were down 9-0 and had earned 2 hits all game. I know baseball can turn on a dime, but neither our batting nor our pitching staff looked remotely awake last night (as evidenced by the 10-0 final score). And I think we had two or three errors as well. Blech.

I did get a nice D-Backs cap.

The next game we'll go to will be the March 4 game vs. the Chicago Cubs, so I am torn about who to cheer for. Cubs, I guess. Just know this: I've never been to a baseball game where the team I've cheered for has won.

This morning Jamie woke me up and we had our big Easter breakfast of bacon and sweet rolls. This was preceeded, however, by an exchanging of Easter baskets. Mine is pretty fly, emblazoned with the Superman logo.


The Easter Bunny's lesser-known cousin, The Terror Bunny

At some point last night I was visited by the Easter Bunny (who is apparently pals with Jamie). Before I'd even had a cup of coffee I was on an egg-hunt, lurching around the house trying to find both plastic and real eggs. Apparently my egg-finding skills are a bit rusty as Jamie had to use the tried-and-true "Warmer/colder" method to help me find 90% of the little potential stink bombs.

Anyhoo, hope everyone is having a fantastic Easter.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Odds and Ends

So, despite what the cover of Newsweek would have you believe, nobody gives a shit either about Katie Couric moving to CBS news or, possibly, the CBS evening news. (Who the hell is home in time to see the national news?)

Don't believe me? Gallup says:

Only about 1 in 10 Americans say they are more likely to watch the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric in the anchor seat, and roughly the same percentage say they are less likely to watch, according to a new USA Today/Gallup poll. Despite Couric's presumed power to produce high ratings, only 6% of Americans say they will be less likely to watch the Today show when Couric's replacement, Meredith Vieira, steps in. Seven percent say they will be more likely to watch.

Apparently most people don't care who Meredith whats-her-name is, either. I will say my mother has said how happy she is Katie's got herself a new job, but in 31 years I've never seen her watch the evening news, so I doubt we'll see the KareBear start now. I could be wrong. I could be wrong.

SGH has pitched some sort of League-a-Palooza here in Chandler, AZ. Look, I've spent three years in these pages both complaining about this place and trying to escape. Why... WHY would you people want to come here? I guarantee you, two seconds after arriving here you would have a moment of clarity and start looking for a way to change your departure day and time.

1) Today it was 95 degrees. This is as nice as it will be until October 31st.
2) There is nothing to do in Chandler.
3) My comic collection loses it's novelty in about twenty minutes.
4) I'm terrified RHPT may come and discover my entire room dedicated to pictures I've taken of him through his blinds in various states of undress
5) Jamie has a terrible beef-jerky like smell
6) I've secretly been living in Atlanta this entire time

Anyway, you guys are nice to try to come to my aid and amuse me. But let's hold off until the weather is not going to burn out your eye-balls before we entertain any notions of coming to the desert.

Plus, I might be going to ACL Fest, depending on what I can work out. (Radiohead, Jim. Radiohead.)

Uh, what else...?

I watched both episodes of South Park's "Cartoon Wars." Check them out if you have a chance.

I'm trying to figure out where I can get a pair of roller skates. (skates, not "blades"). I've decided that Chandler is completely flat, which means I would NEVER be skating uphill, which means, in a way, Chandler is a perfect roller rink.

Oh, and what's this? My old pal from college, Richard, is getting hitched up to his longtime girlfriend, Laura. Richard isn't really a Leaguer, and, in fact, I haven't heard from Richard in, like, forever. But it sounds like I may be invited to the wedding in late October. I hope Richard is planning on a "Halloween Costume" themed wedding, because I have all kinds of ideas. If Shannon has any info on this, it would be much appreciated.

Anyhoo, it's late and I don't have much for you guys today.

I'll be dipping into the Melbotis Mailbag this weekend. Stop on by!

Oh, and Happy Easter, Leaguers. Whether you're doing the church thing, the secular thing, or taking advantage of the Easter tradition and getting some time off, enjoy.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

In the News:

I don't know what was up today, but here are some interesting bits:

-CNN actual headline: Star wears red shirt, no pants to Walk of Fame ceremony

-Apparently a giant rabbit is prowling the British country-side in a manner eerily similar ot "Curse of the Were-Rabbit"

-Those wacky Iranians have figured out how to make enriched uranium. But Condi will not let this stand. I'm not sure what part of the UN charter say the US gets to tell everybody else what to do, but I also understand why this might make the US a bit nervous.
I'm going to break this down for you not following the news:
1) 1970's, a bunch of Iranians kick out the Shah and go all fundamentalist kooky
2) Crazy Iranians take US citizens hostage
3) League, aged 5, vaguely remembers hostages being freed
4) US and Iran do not get along
5) Ayatollah Khomeni hires the Joker (fresh off killing Jason Todd) to become Iran's ambassador to the UN. Joker given complete diplomatic immunity by lousy UN charter. Superman and Batman team-up and foil the Joker's plot to use his lethal "Joker Gas" on the UN General Assembly. Jim Aparo's pencils rock in this issue.
6) US invades Iraq. Threatens anyone looking funny at US in the region with a "who want's some?" sort of squinty-eyed Eastwoody thing. US does much chest punding and making of "Whoooo"ing sound.
7) Many US citizens buy little ribbon magnets for their cars.
8) Iranians feel threatened.
8) Iranians elect fundamentalist who promises he will "take no guff"
9) Former US hostages say, "hey, wasn't that the a@@hole who held us hostage...?"
10) Iran decides to start either petroleum free energy program or world-ending nuclear program, depending on who you wanna believe
11) US says "The only people who can have nukes are us, Russia, a scad of former USSR countries, India, maybe Pakistan, and like four other countries."
12) Iranians point to small article on back of Denny's menu stating they are a sovereign nation and can pretty much do whatever the hell they want, a la the U.S.
13) IAEA feels uncomfortable as friend caught in the middle
14) Condi makes her "angry face"
15) Saber rattling commences
16) Realizing this may go past 5:00, UN Security Coucil orders out for pizza.

There you go.

-In fake news, a sequel is planned for Snakes on a Plane (in someone's imagination).

-Thousands of Phish fans suddenly headed for Alaska before the laws change

That's my news-in-brief.

Thanks to everyone for a swell birthday! It was a good one and certainly one for the record books.

Steanso has gone wayyyyy out of his way to make sure that I do not forget some key moments from my childhood. Go to AoS. (editor's note: The League is known as "Roundball" at AoS)

We'll be back soon, same bat time, same bat channel.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEAGUE!!

You are my Superman!
Love, Mrs. League

I love technology
But not as much as you, you see
But I still love technology
Always and forever.
Hey, it's The League's 31st Birthday.

Happy Birthday to me.

I've tried to make it a little tradition to post the lyrics to a song each year on this day.

Waitin' for a Superman
Flaming Lips


Asked you a question
I didn't need you to reply
Is it gettin' heavy?
But they'll realize
Is it gettin' heavy?
Well I thought it was already as heavy
As can be

Is it overwhelming
To use a crane to crush a fly?
It's a good time for Superman
To lift the sun into the sky

'Cause it's gettin' heavy
Well I thought it was already as heavy
As can be

Tell everybody
Waitin' for Superman
That they should try to hold on
Best they can
He hasn't dropped them
Forgot them
Or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift

Is it gettin' heavy?
Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be.

Tell everybody
Waitin' for Superman
That they should try to hold on
Best they can
He hasn't dropped them
Forgot them
Or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift