DC and Batman say "SCREW YOU" to collectors

Disclaimer: Some serious nerding out to occur in this post. Look out.

New comic book day is Wednesday. Unless a holiday screws up the UPS shipping schedule, your newly minted comics will be at your local retailer each and every Wednesday. And like a good little pre-programmed freak, each Wednesday or Thursday (depending on how busy I am), I go down to my local shop and pick up my weekly stash of comics.

There exists more than one Batman comic. In fact, there are probably 8 or 9 of them. Within the industry, the collection of comics surrounding a single character are usually called a "family", and are run under a single editorial head. So, you have a number of Batman comic per month, which can mean more than one Batman comic per week, depending on if you really want to read all of the Batman books which come out.

I do not.

I read all of the Superman stuff, but keeping up with all the Batman stuff is near impossible, and a lot of it suffers from uneven writing and/ or art.

The Batman titles include:

Detective Comics (which Batman first appeared in back in issue #27. I think we're up to 800 now).
Batman
Batman: Gotham Knights
Legends of the Dark Knight
Robin
Nightwing
Batgirl
Birds of Prey
Superman/ Batman
My Dinner with Commissioner Gordon
Alfred's Totally Excellent Adventure
etc...
plus, and unlimited number of limited series runnign at any time

Point being, there are many titles, and I think I read 4 of them. Actually, it's more like... nevermind.

But one thing DC promised it would quit doing about two years ago was to create a big-multi-part story which would require you to buy all of the comics from a certain family. The idea was, they would create a huge, industry spanning event which would draw a lot of attention and drum up sales for ALL of the books in the family. But, usually, these stories turned out to be the most half-assed stories all year as more than half-a-dozen writers are asked to write only one part of a story, and only the editor knows what's really going on. And the reader DOES have to buy all the parts so you know what the hell is going on.

This means, say I normally buy half of the Batman comics... now, in order to know what is going on in Detective in July, I have to get everything else in June. This might mean 6 or 7 extra comics.

As a kid, I enjoyed chasing down all the parts. As an adult, I feel screwed.

But DC hadn't done this in two years, coming off the tragically flawed "Joker's Last Laugh" story arc. I'm not a fan of the idea of editor and business driven series, but when the Batman Family editors said "We're doing a huge story arc about a gang-war in Gotham, and it's called 'War Games'", I said: Okay. Sure. Why not. It'd been a while.

They kicked War Games off last week with a $0.12 comic, called Batman: The Twelve Cent Adventure.

Cool enough.

And then, this week, I pick up my Batman comics, one of which is NOT my regular title, but which is necessary to follow the story, and... they wrapped the comics in sealed mylar bags. Apparently there is a promotional CD-Rom for Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow inside of the bag being sold with the comic.

This is a HUGE problem for the collector.

Usually I take very good care of my comics between shop and home, read the comics a few times, re-check out the art, blah blah blah... and then the comics get put into a plastic poly-bag. The comics are then put away into longboxes in my closet. At this point, I believe the comics to still be in very good condition.

But if the comic is in a sealed mylar bag, I stand a chance of damaging the comic while opening the bag. Also, no matter what... when I OPEN the mylar bag, the comic is instantly valueless. It has instantly lost any claim to being "Near Mint." Which, in collector's terms, means the comic is worth the cost of the paper it's printed on.

(someday I shall relate the absolute horror I felt as my brother's pal, Suzannah, grabbed one of my comics and used it as a coaster... She will never know how close she came to being forcibly ejected from my house that day.)

For REAL collectors out there, a sealed mylar bag means they will need to buy TWO copies of the comic. One copy to open and to read, and one copy to keep in the mylar, which, in turn, whill be sealed in a poly-bag. This, of course, drives sales of the damn comics through the roof.

The last time I remember this ploy really working was The Death of Superman, which bagged the Death of Superman issue in a black mylar bag (with a bloody Superman logo emblazoned upon the plastic...). Then, when Supes returned from the "dead", they had a white mylar bag. I have copies of the Death of Superman and his return in the mylar bags and opened. Sigh.

I decided not to buy two copies of the same comics as, let's be honest, it's going to be my estate which will be selling my Batman and Superman comics. I'm way too much of a packrat to let those go.

Long and the short... DC and Marvel are returning to their money making tricks of the early-90's. I expect foil covers to be making a re-appearance very soon.

About ten months ago, The League ran a Halloween movie watching contest. Unfortunately, one of the favored movies from the list wasn't even available on DVD.

Tod Browning directed the classic Lugosi Dracula, and then went on to enter this bit of cinema into the field, effectively terminating his own career.

Anyway, Jim D. has announced the release of Tod Browning's Freaks.

Maxwell, in her entry to The League's contest, wrote this:

Freaks: Not so much scary as truly disturbing, Freaks tells the story of a trapeze artist, a midget, and a bunch of "REAL LIVE FREAKS". What could go wrong?The first time I saw this movie I was so uncomfortable I couldn't stop laughing. Not in a ha ha, look at the funny freaks way either. More like a "Dear GOD what is that THING?" kind of way, which sounds terribly Princess Bride and horribly un-PC...scary stuff indeed. Plus, I imagine watching this movie will enhance your enjoyment of Carnivale, or pretty much any Carnie work created in it's shadow. Bonus: Chant "One of Us One of Us" at the dinner table and know what it referenced before the Simpsons.

Oh, Bitter Irony...

Jeff Shoemaker sends along this article about the recent colorization of some 3 Stooges classics.

In the article, Lucas rails against altering movies.

Jim D is somewhere rightfully gnashing his teeth.

I know you don't see this as good news, but if I can get Jamie to finally leave me, I think I might have a chance. I'm going to start hanging around Radio Shack and see what materializes.


the near-perfect Vanessa Williams
ponders her future, as she is now
free to entertain notions about The League

Are you registered to vote?

You're probably not, you lazy bastard.

I recommend you get registered in order that you participate in that dream of mob rule, that which The League calls: Democracy!

Get signed up to vote officially here with the Federal Election Commission.

Or, if you want MTV helping you out (God help us...), here's the web-site for Rock the Vote!

And, for a hip, and still MTVish site, here's Declare Yourself. I think these are those funny pro-voting commercials I've seen during The Daily Show and other places. I love Amy Poehler. If you get a chance, check out these commercials.

Now get out there and be an ill-informed voter who votes on a single issue. Me, I vote strictly around tariffs on the mango trade.

Fake high school only slightly less accurate than real high school.

You kind of have to admire the sheer will to do something this irresponsible and wrong. I mean, this took work.

It finally happened. It took until August, but it happened.

It's so hot, I wish I were dead.

Sorry for the complete lack of posts of late.

Nothing afoot or afoul here. Just very, very busy. Karen and Rick, the parental units, were here Friday evening through Monday 7:30am. So that was going on. Plus, we had to actually clean the house a bit in preparation of their arrival.

I have to say it was nice having the folks here. We didn't really do ANYTHING, but the change of pace was welcome.

Also, looks like King Kong star Fay Wray has died.

The world loses another piece of the mystery and magic of early cinema.


even in the grip of a giant, smelly gorilla... Fay Wray was pretty hot

If you ever see that King Kong is coming to DVD or cable, watch it. It's really a phenomenal movie. I didn't see it until high school, but it's a heck of a lot of fun, the story is engaging, and the effects are unbelievable.

I hear they are making another version in the next year or so (directed by LOTR superhero Peter Jackson). Hopefully the movie will do well and inspire a double-DVD set of the new and old versions. And I wouldn't cry if they tossed in the interesting 1970's version starring Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges in early "The Dude" mode.

Rick James is dead. Bitch.

Job for Reed if the Electrical Engineering thing doesn't work out...?

Wanted: Court Jester

I bought a hand-written but photocopied poem off a homeless dude today for a few bucks. I don't know anything about poetry. My 12th grade English teacher made sure I was utterly disenchanted with poetry before I even left public school, and, in fact, came close to getting me to disliking reading books at all.

And so I'm not someone who lives for the written or spoken word. Sorry. But I figure $3.00 is a fair trade for poem. And I thought I'd share this $3.00 poem with you. Hell, it's more than most of us ever made off of anything we ever wrote, right?

I don't know what the poem is called, or what it's about, but I tried to copy it as closely as I could. I can't make out the poet's name. But here we go.

This is the poem:

I think of all the ways
in which our lives touch each
other, the smiles and the secret
looks that pass between us.
Words that go unsaid, but are
understood nonetheless, as if I knew
you long before we actually met, on
that day. there was recognition-
a sense of deja vu. You share your
innermost thoughts and deepest
feelings with me. you are my -
traveling companion. my teacher
my guide along the way showing
me who i am and who i can
become. you shower me with
love and i am fulfilled You surr-
ound me with warmth and i am
comforted...

Jeff the Cat

Greetings, Leaguers - Mrs. League here. The League has invited me to guest blog, so I guess I'll play along. I feel the League has done an excellent job of describing crappy desert living, but one little fella that has not gotten much attention has been Jeff the Cat.

Jeff the Cat (full name Jeffrey Taylor Steans - the League supplying the 'Taylor' in honor of his love for Planet of the Apes) was selected from a passel of cute kittens at the Austin SPCA in July of 1999. We would soon realize that the temporary name of 'Tuffy' the shelter folks had given him actually meant something. Jeff was a 'feisty' kitty and would attack most anything that moved. While some claim declawing to be inhumane, I contend that the permanent scars on my legs prove otherwise. But Jeff the Cat would not be discouraged! What he could not accomplish with his claws, he would get done with his teeth. That lasted until I got a nasty infection (I'm on a lot of immunosuppressants) and then he got his incisors shaved.

All of this may lead you to think we dislike Jeff the Cat. Not so, Leaguers! Yes, he does from time to time get yelled at and squirted with water, but for the most part these days he seems to have mellowed. I am relieved to report that it's been quite some time since I last had my leg chomped. He's still awfully cute, still plays by himself with random pieces of trash, still finds kitty forts to hide in, will still perform whole backflips while playing with the feather-on-a-stick toy, and still has one hell of a personality. On top of all that - the most important thing to remember about Jeff the Cat is that he once saved the League's life by alerting him to a fan that had caught fire in the room. Thank you, kitty.

Oh, stories about Mel.

1) On Sunday I bathed Mel
2) On Monday I accidentally left him outside while I was at the gym.
3) During this time, he dug a hole and laid down in it. The ground was wet as the sprinklers are going twice a day for two weeks to help out the fertilizer so my grass grows. Normally, I wouldn't care, but I relaized if I ever want to leave Arizona, I have to be able to sell my house. I am noiw taking care of my house so I can get rid of it.
4) Mel was terribly muddy when he came inside. he slept on the tile and had to stay there the next day.
5) Tuesday mel dug a deeper hole and laid down in it, getting muddier.
6) So I washed Mel... again. And then i mopped the floor.
7) Mel came in, and then snuck up on the nice couch, which he is not supposed to sit on. It now smells like wet dog.
8) Last night, Jamie was tossing and turning, so I went and crashed in the Guest room (only second time I've done this in almost 9 years together). Mel decides he should sleep in guest bed, too.
9) Covered in fur, slightly damp, and heavier than Jamie, Mel is kicked out of bed at about 2:00am.
10) Jeff the cat sits on my head at 4:00am, waking me up and causing a ruckus.

Constantine trailer.

This looks terrible. Whoever is responsible... well, I'm not going to geek out here. See for yourself.

For something which looks pretty good, here's the trailer to Garden State.

I've invited Mrs. League and Cpt. Reed T. Shaw to Guest Blog.

Reed is headed for the final few tour dates of that mystery of mystery bands... Phish. Reed will surely liven things up around this place, and cast a certain glow to The League we've long since been lacking.

We're waiting to see if Jamie decides to guest-blog.

A quick perusal of my sitemeter will show that The League is quickly becoming the hot spot to visit when you are annoyed by Kristen Kreuk's portrayal of Lana Lang on TV's Smallville. I have to thank Jim for that. He's the one who linked over to IMDB.com for me. This has also resulted in The League finding a link on hollywoodjesus.com, which they clearly plucked from imdb.com.

Aside from that, Sitemeter doesn't reveal all that much. It's hard to know where 60% of my hits are coming from, who the people are, why they are here, how long they stay...

I wasn't so much wallowing in pity when I declared that "nobody reads this damn site," as wallowing in confusion. It's tough to know who the readership is. It's even tougher to know how to draw in new readers. I tell you what, though. Posting on the Alzare ad and putting together the words "Ann Coulter nude" on this site has drawn me more hits than I dare count.

But, mostly, is The League offering up content which would make a column which people are actually willing to read? Well, I thank those of you not married to me for tuning in day after day, week after week.

Randy suggested restarting a new sitemeter account, but I don't see how that would clear up my problem. Reed seems to fear I'll begin placing ads, but that sounds really complicated and The League is bitch to no corporate entity but DC Comics and blogger.com.

Anyway, with the completion of the 2004 Mellies, I'm feeling a bit out of steam. And as nothing I'd care to write about here is happening in my life, I am scrambling for content.

Having a comments section has been enlightening and entertaining, so that's here to stay. Everyone has done a great job of playing well together. And it helps me keep tabs on Loyal Leaguers.

Randy has an idea for something we can do. it's going to take a bit of work from both of us, will meet the criteria of both this page and RHPT.com and will take up a few minutes of your day sometime when we finish.

In the meantime, I open the floor to comments and suggestions for content. Does anything puzzle you about The League? Anything baffle you? I can answer questions, too, I guess. I dunno.

I'm plum out.

Pulitzer Prize winner Michael Chabon recently gave the keynote address at the Eisner awards(an industry award for excellence in comics). Chabon is author of Wonder Boys and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.

The transcript of his speech can be found here.

And it is a kick in the pants to an industry which likes to make like an ostrich all too often.

Nobody is reading this damn site.

If you are reading just post a "hello" in the comments section. You don't even have to properly identify yourself, but it would be nice.

Site meter stinks. I can't really tell anything about my traffic anymore.

Also, comments and suggestions for topics are always welcome and appreciated.

God bless 'em...

the preview is now available for Matt Stone and Trey Parker's Team America.

Slow weekend. Sort of.

I saw The Village, and I'm not sure what I think. It was okay. That daughter of Ron Howard's probably has a career ahead of her. I might add it's nice to see a 20-something actress making an appearance without having to first star in a Nickelodeon tv-show or having had ever appeared on the WB.

Spoiler here

Look, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to know that M. Night Shayamalan is going to throw you a curveball at the end of the movie. So instead of just watching his movies, at this point, you kind of sit there and try and figure what the clues are.

The problem is this: Shyamalan pulled his trick in 6th Sense, and then let you get your guard down for Unbreakable, and then... POW! he got you again. From what I hear, he did the same thing in Signs (I never saw it).

So who really believes at this point the guy isn't just going to keep recycling the same gag? He's like the nerdy kid at the party who got everyone to laugh with his great joke, so he keeps telling it to the same people, over and over, trying to get the same reaction.

Maybe it's a spoiler that this movie has a twist ending. You can be like Jamie and declare you'd pieced it all together before the movie ended, or you can be like me, and feel a bit impatient to figure out exactly what the twist is by the change to the second act... because you know that whatever he's telling you now isn't true.

The point is: watching a movie isn't real-life. In a movie, you're given a limited amount of information, and you have to accept that what the story is telling you is true. Yes, it worked once or twice with Shyamalan, but what if every movie pulled this stunt...? people would abandon movies altogether. Every bit of information you're using to enjoy the movie becomes suspect when you know any bit of it could be misleading.

Sure... you can always surprise people if you lie to them for two hours. At some point, I just kind of wonder what else Shyamalan has other than this one parlor trick. He seems like a competent director and the actors did fairly well with what they had to work with.

Unfortunately, I'm not watching this movie in a vaccuum. I remember Shyamalan's previous efforts. Perhaps if this were my first, I'd have been somewhat impressed. But for me, the entire last third of this movie lost its steam.

end spoilers

Go catch this one if you were thinking of seeing it. It's okay. And it had Sigourney Weaver and William Hurt who are two actors I've always dug. It's creepy, and has some nifty stuff in it.

The new Justice League Unlimited series premiered this weeked. They've taken the show into a new direction I wasn't really anticipating, but I think I can get into. Looks like the JL is officially sanctioned, has more of a space station than a satellite, and has a staff running their various space hangars, etc... Kind of cool. But not what I was anticipating.

The story was a decent enough intro to what this incarnation of the JL is up to. The art is up to last season's standards, they've added 3D for some space scenes, and the voice talent was pretty good. All in all, it was a lot of fun. The opening scene with GA was about as classic GA as I think you're going to find.

My complaint: The new music stinks. Shirley Walker scored a lot of the Batman/ Superman animated work (including the phenomenal theme to the Batman/ Superman Adventures, circa 1997). Why Ms. Walker wasn't selected, and a screaming 80's electric guitar was chosen in her stead is something only Bruce Timm can know.

I really enjoyed seeing so many DC characters get little cameos (anyone else see Zatanna on the people-mover?), and I look forward to JLU plunging into television spotlights for so many of these characters. It was good to see the animated version of Supergirl return, and to see Captain Atom and Green Arrow done spot-on for TV.

Teen Titans was also well done, bringing the Judas Contract storyline from the comics (circa 1982) to a head.

I'm really getting into Megas XLR on Cartoon Network. The G-Force inspired episode from last week was absolutely hysterical, and this week's episode was pretty good as well.

Over at RHPT.com this weekend, Randy ponders what makes a movie good or bad, pointing out that his bottom line is entertainment value. And then takes a pot shot over Dedman's bow by taking a jab at Jim's worship of the Dogme 95 flick, The Celebration.

I see Randy's point, to some extent. I mean, if he enjoys a film, be it The Care Bear Movie or Wild Strawberries, shouldn't that be enough?

There are two answers to this question.

Popular answer: Yes. If you like something, that's all you need to know.

Critical answer: No. All art forms should be held to some critical standard with which to judge their merit for the present and for the long-term.

The movie trailer which raised the question was National Treasure, which I'm going to have to side with Dedman on. This looks like a stinker. Ughhh.. I'm not sure I need a film degree to see this being a paint-by-numbers clunker.

The trick The League has learned to employ is admitting The League is enjoying a movie, even when the The League knows a movie is bad. This doesn't make you, as a viewer, less of a person. But at least you can acknowledge that maybe the film you are watching was not as craftily put together as it could have been. It doesn't mean you're stupid for enjoying a bad movie. It means that you're freely enjoying something awful. If people couldn't do this, we might have Police Academy 1 and 2. But would we have all 6?

Critics be damned..! Movie studios are trying to woo the hard-to-please comic dork fanbase. Funny thing... turns out that if you don't go in and change everything about a comic book in order to bring it to the big screen, it can still make money (ie, Spider-Man, X-Men, etc...)

Apparently it's beginning to dawn on producers that you do have a built in audience if you make these movies according to the comics, but you lose that core if you step away from the source material. And given the money that comic nerds will be willing to spend if you actually give them something they want to see, studios are taking notice.

check out the article here. It details film events at Comic-Con 2004. Thanks to Jim D. for the article.

Unfortunately for the studios: many comic fans cannot separate cartoons from reality, and they tend to be a little blunt if they didn't like your last outing. So don't go to Comic-Con expecting the kid-gloves treatment. Comic fans are not known for their social graces.

I might point out that no self-respecting comic nerd will go see the new film "Constantine," based upon Alan Moore's pet DC creation, John Constantine. If the producers really think the comic fans are going to like the changes they've made, they are wrong. Trying to figure out why Constantine has to be British is like asking why Bond can't be American, or why Catwoman can't be Catman. Between Constantine and Catwoman, it's gonna be a long year for DC Comics at the movies.

Saw the tariler for Batman Begins on the big screen. I enjoyed it. Couldn't tell if a single other person in the theater even shrugged.

Maxwell demonstrates how Dick Cheney brings the music of Styx to life...

DC Character Profile: Mr. Terrific



Secret Identity: Michael Holt

Rating: Awesome

Official Website: DC profile

What makes him a superhero: Mr. Terrific is not infused with super powers, per se. Instead, Mr. Terrific is, as many DC characters, born with superior intelligence, intellect and athletic ability. Terrific holds multiple PhD's, speaks dozens of languages and is trained in some form of martial arts. He's also quite the inventor, utlizing his gravity defying T-spheres for everything from video conferencing to tracking enemies to shooting lasers.

What he's about: Mr. Terrific is all about "Fair Play" (it's written on his jacket if you don't believe me). He's there to even the odds for the underdog and to make sure justice is served.

Why The League digs him: Mr. Terrific came on the scene with a minimum of fanfare in the mid-90's when DC was resurrecting the names and ideas behind several of their World War II era characters. The original Mr. Terrific was Terry Sloane, a sort of Bruce Wayne type. In 1997, Terry Sloane was fairly outdated, and so DC decided to revitalize the property by updating Terrific's origin and giving him Terry's story as inspiration.

Since then, Mr. Terrific has served as a mainstay of the JSA comics. He's quickly risen in fan popularity, and even serves as Chairman of the JSA (Justice Society of America), playing the role of cool, confident leader.

You don't see Mr. Terrific actually having to get into fights too often. Usually he's too busy outsmarting the competition.

By the way.  Set your TiVO/ DVR/ whatever. 

Justice League Unlimited premieres this Saturday night.

Should be cool.  Mr. Terrific, Atom Smasher, The Creeper, Green Arrow, The Question and a host of others will be making small appearances.  You can also see Captain Atom, Supergirl, Dr. Fate, etc... etc...

I hope this show does well enough to continue to extend for several more seasons.  DC comics, like Marvel, have a massive number of characters and stories to share.  And seeing them brough to the television medium is a huge amount of fun.

Look, I know many or most of you aren't going to read a comic, but if you want to see some crazy super hero action without the shame of actually buying a comic, Justice League is the place to do it.  And this episode is perfect for the uninitiated as they kick off a new series.  Give it a try!

Jim may have found his entire rise to fame completely exploitive, but we can now safely quell the rumor that William Hung has not ended his meteoric rise (and life) with an intentional heroine overdose.

see article here

You know, I can definitely see how see how folks might see William Hung's fame as a bad thing.  But I don't.  And here's why:

Jessica Simpson's sister.

I missed the whole part where Jessica Simpson became famous, but we all know that it's not exactly like Jessica Simpson worked her way up and out of the club scene, paying her dues and performing at humiliating shows at Astroworld for years before she got her lucky break.  She was a pre-packaged deal, a face for magazine covers and album jackets.  Don't mind if she can't dance at all, and she has voice as bland as Kroger brand Vanilla ice-cream.

According to certain factions, we live in a meritocracy.  But it ain't a perfect world, and that's not really how it works in certain realms.  At least in the entertainment business, it's who you know and how you know them.  Hundreds and thousands of bands can tell you: even if you do get a record deal, the chances of you getting the kind of promotion that Jessica Simpson, et al, have enjoyed is nil.  That kind of marketing is based solely on marketing research and not on years of a steady build-up of fans.  But, hey... it's America.  If that's what the record companies want to do... whatever. 

So now, riding on Jessica's coat-tails comes Ashlee Simpson.  Who, you know, is some sort of rocker.  Like Johnny Lydon and shit.  But she is still managed by mom and dad, and she has a TV show.  Never mind she's like 12, doesn't write her own music, and let's face it... she's maybe a good enough singer for a high school production of Annie, Get Your Gun.

Does this mean we should automatically dislike Ashlee?  Nah.  Again, this is America.  If Ashlee Simpson turns your crank, best of luck to you.  But at least recognize her as being as pre-packaged as a Happy Meal.

Then I think:  When Avril Lavigne was announcing Grammy nominations and misprounced David Bowie, shouldn't she have been euthanized just then?  I'm no music snob, but, I mean... holy moley.  This girl is making MILLIONS of dollars, and she's a cardboard prop.  And she can't identify one of the most important pop stars of the past forty years.

So maybe William Hung doesn't know who David Bowie is either, but he knows what he likes.  And, darn it, he at least TRIES to know something about the tunes he likes.  And he was willing to go all out at the AI auditions.   And he took his rejection with grace, which is more than you can say for most of the bozos who pass before the AI tribunal.

So William Hung sucks.  So what?  So does 90% of what comes out in any given year. 

My point is, if Ashlee Simpson is given carte blanche to make millions of dollars with her talentless self, then why can't William Hung?  Because he doesn't have a pretty, talentless sister? 

I'd like to see William Hung rewarded for daring to dream in a cynical world.  He doesn't have parents working around the clock to get him face time with record producers and record execs.  Nope.  Instead he stood in line and patiently waited his turn and gave it his all when the opportunity arose.  How many of us can say we did the same? 

So he's a little goofy and sweetly-naive?  And unsure of what to think, folks want to write their own readings onto the William Hung phenomenon.  You cannot honestly say that you think William is doing this with anything but the best of intentions.  So as long as he gets a big fat check at the end, I'm happy for the man.  I hope he makes a billion dollars.

New teaser trailer for the upcoming Batman film, Batman Begins.

Go to the site here and click on "trailer".

Hmmm...  this tells me absolutely nothing.   After Warner Bros.' last foray into superherodom with Catwoman, I am a bit overly skeptical.  However, it all looks fairly accurate to the comics.

I'll be curious to see if the studio sees fit to foist an unnecessary love interest upon Batman once again.

Just watched a chunk of a PBS documentary called "People Like Us". 

There was a section in which they attempted to use high school as a microcosm to demonstrate the formation of class consciousness at a young age.  As you can imagine, the producers let the rich kids talk long enough to sound like real boneheads and like a bunch of ignorant and bigoted maroons.

Funny thing.

The high schools they interviewed were some Austin, TX high schools.  The rich kid school being Anderson high school.  You know, I went to high school briefly in Austin and I don't remember it having a reputation for being full of rich a-holes.  Upper middle class a-holes, yeah.  But rich a-holes?  That was reserved for the Westlake kids when I was in Austin.  (ex:  they had astroturf on their high school football field).

Nonetheless, it's a good doc.  Worth watching, even if it makes you uncomfortable from time to time. 

Oh, and the guy who runs UT's film department was somehow attached in the credits.  I should have scrolled back on my DVR to see if I knew anybody, but I went and changed the channel.  If anyone from Austin knows anything more about this doc, let me know.

2004 Mellies, Day 69,890

The end.  Seriously.


Most loathsome Democratic presidential nominee

Jim D.

Al Sharpton

Jamie

Gephardt

Jilly

are there any democrats running?

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

Not so much loathsome as amusing, Mr. Warren Roderick Ashe is a real card. In his Votesmart Bio he tells us "I have poetry, music, television publications that have remained a publication secret in Radio and television broadcasting." Huh? He is also has special talents in "Astronautical and Astrophysics computer math involving saucer technology and time travel."

Scaljon

Kucinich. What could be appealing about the Bela Lugosi look? And what did you do to Willie Nelson, you freaky SOB?!

Harms

The Republican president has already lowered the bar so low that this question doesn't make much sense anymore.

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. Wesley Clark - paper general, paper candidate  b. Albert "Al" Hamburg - Crazy MF from Wyoming

The League posts a vote

This all seems so moot this week.  Didn't see a plurality here.  So, uh...  I gotta go with Maxwell on this one.   

 
Best book you read

Jim D.

The Time Traveler's Wife

Jamie

Identity Crisis.  Because it's the only one anyone here might also have read and it made me want to cry

Jilly

all of them are boring but dissertation necessary

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

Just finished Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera, a sprawling classic story of unrequited love that is "unfaithful, but not disloyal".   Also enjoyed Sue Monk Kidd's The Secret Life of Bees even if it is everyone's favorite book of the month to trash. 

Scaljon

The Templars, by Piers Paul Ried

Harms

What Should I do with my life - Po Bronson  A Scanner Darkly - PK Dick

Valdez

"Reefer Madness" by Eric Schlosser. Three essays on illegal "underground" enterprises. Engrossing. 

Nord

a. Inside Al Qaeda by Rohan Gunaratna  b. Memoirs of U.S. Grant (in progress)

The League doesn't read books without pictures

And the stuff we read this spring for school was boring.  Looks like a nifty book list for people looking for a good read.  I can safely recommend "The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt" as not just a biography, but an excellent peak into a part of American history and culture which was not so long ago, but might as well have been a million years ago.


Other blogs of wonder

Jim D.

Rationator Mirus (Nord)

Jamie

Musings of the Queen Mum.  I wonder if this *is* a blog....

Jilly

don't read any others (aren't you flattered?)

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

In addition to the blog that got me started, Pamie.com, and my entire blogroll, new blogs Verbose Coma and The 'soon to be added to blogroll' Rage Diaries rock my socks. 

Scaljon

hmmm... so many to read. I like baseball musings

Harms

boingboing.net 

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. Electronic discovery blogs  b. The chinese sex-blog that caused a ruckus in the republic. 

The League

See the blogroll


Which former POTUS (President of the United States) do you know least about, but want to know more?

Jim D.

Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce

Jamie - it appears that Jamie believed I was referring to which member of the band "Presidents of the United States" did she wish to know more about...

Chris Ballew.  Because 'Kitty' is an *awesome* song.  (btw I just found out they are releasing a new album soon!)

Jilly

Jimmy Carter

Randy

No answer

Maxwell 

MARTIN "The Little Magician" VAN BUREN

(editor's note:  it appears Maxwell has joined The Van Buren Boys)

Scaljon

Franklin Pierce

Harms

Polk - I just picked a random one out of the bevy of presidential streets in the Fillmore / Marina districts of San Francisco

(editor's note:  please refer to They Might Be Giant's Album "Factory Showroom" for more info on Polk)

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. Zachary Taylor   b. Chester A. Arthur 

The League takes to the Bully Pulpit

Looks like Franklin Pierce is our winner.  I'll see what I can do to learn more about the man myself.  Unfortunately, I have 100 pages left to go in the Roosevelt biography, and then I have to read the next 800 page volume of "Theodore Rex".  Maybe I'll take a little break in between and read up on Pierce.  I do recall some info on Pierce from my days as a history major, but jeez... not much.

maybe I'll do a little report.  Right now, The League promises nothing.

And that's it

Stick a fork in me.  I'm done.  Next time I'm making this easier for all of us.

why I will not see Catwoman

I forgot to mention, as Nord already has, that Unky George has given a name to my pain.

Star Wars, Episode III shall be entitled:  Revenge of the Sith
 
Well, good for Unky George, then.  When I was 21 years old I could not envision a world in which Star Wars was not the be all and end all of what I loved about movies.  Insert Episode I, and then a helping of Episode II, and voila!  Ambivalence.

I was duped into seeing the last two movies at the midnight premiere.  Never again.  Maybe a Tuesday matinee, if I get around to it.  Sure, I want to see how UG tries to tie it all together for me.  And, sure, I want to see what I assume to be the final installment in the franchise.

Or maybe I'll go rent Spaced Invaders or something.  I haven't decided yet.

Further evidence as to why conventions are a terrible idea...

Good God...  my mind is reeling...  Okay!  Unofficial short contest.  Put a caption on this picture!

 

(fill in caption here)

It must be terribly fun to be a right-wing pundit when you're given opportunities like this on a silver platter.

The 2004 Mellies Day 568

God.  Let it end.


Least tragic event

Jim D.

The destruction and implosion of Howard Dean

Jamie

The construction of the Chick-fil-A at Stapely and US60

Jilly

Reagan's death. Most tragic: the endless coverage

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

The breakup of Barbie and Ken. Traditional family values? I don't think so. Everyone knows those two have been kinking it up for years.

Scaljon

charlie murphy's true hollywood stories becoming available for download online.

Harms

The Cardigans release their new record, "Long Gone Before Daylight"

Valdez

The kidnapping of Audrey Seiler. The survellience video of this University of Wisconsin-Madison sophopmore was replayed for days on major news networks. Turns out, she faked her own abduction. Oops.

Nord

a. The long-anticipated death of Ronald Reagan.  b. The Siege of Fallujah. 

The League ponders recent tragedy

The League technically finds that the sale of the Paris Hilton video on DVD under the title "One Night in Paris" to be the least tragic event (a portion of all proceeds go to charity.  No.  Seriously.  I think this is a real first).

It seems a portion of Loyal Leaguers took the partisan route and placed the death of Reagan as being least tragic.  Perhaps this sentiment was amplified due to the endless coverage of... well, not much going on... and then the move to place Reagan's name and visage on every Federal building, coin, mountain, etc...  may have seemed like overkill. 

I gotta give Valdez some props for bringing up the self-created melodrama of the Audrey Seiler case.  Man, was that ever annoying.  Nothing like letting your little pity party turn into a national crisis.  
 

Worst blog topic at "League of Melbotis."

Jim D.

1. A Present for Randy. Did anything ever come of this?, 2. Continued support and endorsement of Al Sharpton

(editor's note:  what did happen?  Well, a few things.  Just when I should have been working on "A Present for Randy", my semester at work came to an end which means a lot of work.  Simultaneously, I need to overcome months of procrastination on a project for the grad class I'm taking.  So, Randy, I apologize.  But no need to wait any longer, because Molly won.  You shall be receiving your present whenever I get around to ordering it for you.)

Jamie

The recap of 'Home on the Range'.  Because you made me relive it

Jilly

Hmm. You're brilliant, so all of the topics must be. (this is the kiss ass answer. Notice it comes right before the naming of my child)

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

I guess, after reviewing the archives, Friday 2/6/04: I saw Bowie last night. You did not. Because, yeah, you did see Bowie last night. And I did not. 

Scaljon

No Answer

Harms

I find it all equally ... equally ... equal.

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. Anything to do with new comic hero logos.  b. Anything to do with new comic hero uniforms.

(editor's note to Mr. Nordstrom Smarty Pants:  I have never covered either topic.  Just everything else regarding superheroes.  But just for you, one day I shall wax philosophic on Superman Red/ Superman Blue)

The League Strikes Back:

Clearly Jilly wins for her insightful answer.  These days I am voting for "The 2004 Mellies". 


Best item at Taco Bell

Jim D.

Chicken Baja Gordita Chalupa (Nacho Cheese)

Jamie

Cinnamon Crispies

Jilly

ugg

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

We here at Cowgirl Funk HQ in a nod to the vegetarian days keep it real with the taco bell bean burrito.

Scaljon

much like kmart, taco bell sucks

Harms

The plain old taco. Simple in its conception, flawless in its execution

Valdez

Mexican Pizza. Two crisp pizza shells filled with seasoned ground beef, hearty beans and then topped with pizza sauce, a blend of three cheeses - cheddar, pepper jack and mozzarella, melted to perfection and topped with diced ripe tomatoes and fresh green onions.

Nord

a. Double Decker Taco  b. Beef taco, no lettuce 

The League makes a run for the border

I always dug the chicken soft taco, but these days I'm kicking it vegetarian style, so I no longer chow down on my formerly feathery friends.  These days I'm going along with Maxwell and the bean burrito.

However, once again Jilly wins, as she accurately describes how I feel each time I complete a meal at Taco bell, no matter what I eat.

Minor delay in completing the Mellies as I don't have my Excel file on me.  Sorry.  Maybe tomorrow night.

In the meantime, thought I'd mention my new favorite movie:

From Justin to Kelly

This movie was meant squeeze the last cash out of the first season American Idol winner and runner-up.  Fortunately (I guess) Kelly Clarkson is still able to sell records to somebody out there, so it's not all a loss.  Unfortunately, Justin Guarini (the Justin of From Justin to Kelly, and first-runner up from AI Season 1) was already let go from his record contract after lackluster sales of his premier album. 

I had watched most of AI Season 1, and had not really supported either of the two finalists.

With that context in mind, From Justin to Kelly (henceforth FJTK) hit cable roughly... oh...  roughly six months after Guarini was back sacking groceries at the Winn-Dixie.  I hope he has a good broker.

This movie surpasses so many others in it's awesome badness.  Nothing is good in this movie.  Not the plot, not the script, not the concept, not the constumes, not the casting, not the dancing, the music or the lighting. 


The semitalented stars of AI light up the silver screen

The story, as I have pieced together from watching bits and pieces on cable, is this: 

Kelly comes to Florida for Spring Break from Texas (I'm not sure dissecting her decision to forego the equally popular Texas coast is necessary) in order to get away from, basically, Texas or the south or somewhere.  Rest assured, according to Hollywood, you MUST GET THE HELL OUT OF WHEREVER YOU ARE FROM AND GO TO WHERE THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ARE.  You know.  LA. 

I have to tell you, I watched a good chunk of this movie, and I got more out of the synopsis on the web-site about what was happening than anything I saw in the movie.  In fact, as lacking in plot as FJTK is, I wasn't really aware the characters were supposed to have any motivation.

But FJTK is nothing, if not a musical.  And it is nothing if not a poorly directed musical. 

The first sign of music that I recall is some really, really good rapping and beat boxing by Justin and his "Playah" friend with whom he has come to Florida.  While a family-friendly movie, the Playah is there to get laid, and his tools of the trade are about as refined as those of Grease's T-Birds.  The largest danger is not that your kid is going to learn something he shouldn't from this movie, but that your kid will believe he or she will ever be able to talk to anybody like this without getting punched in the crotch.  Because this guy seriously needs to be punched in the crotch.

Now, Kelly's introduction bears what will most surely be a controversial criticism, but a criticism nonetheless. 

Kelly Clarkson is a lovely girl, pie-faced though she might be, and she is a decent singer and dancer and blah blah blah.

Kelly is also the least attractive girl to appear in the movie, and not the strongest singer. 

I don't know where they cast this movie, but every character in the cast is camera/ swimsuit friendly, can dance their pants off (the choreography being what it is), and can sing like a pro.  Except for, sadly, our friend Kelly Clarkson.  Who is lovely.  But with the rest of the cast uniformly beautiful and synchronized, Kelly's Elaine-like dancing and "prettiest girl at her 2A school" looks, it's kind of... sad.

Especially as, after tossing off all of her opening lines about not needing a guy, or doubting she'll meet one or blah blah blah "look what a normal, chaste girl I am", Clarkson then leads everyone on the beach in some dirty dancing involving beach balls and lots of hip grinding. 

At this point, I might add that Justin Guarini is also not, exactly text-bbok attractive, and he sort of acts like an ass throughout the film, so why Kelly is so interested in Justin is impossible to determine.  It might help to know that Justin gets into a fight with Kelly's Texas boyfriend (who wears a ten-gallon hat), and the dispute is resolved with a jet-ski race.  I might add that this is how the Steans clan likes to resolve it's difficulties.  So don't piss me off, lest I RACE YOUR ASS.

Anyway, Kelly kind of meets Justin, gets shy and...  you know... the plot is totally irrelevant and involves a lot of text-messaging.  And dancing.  Lots of bad dancing and worse singing.  And I probably wouldn't have noticed that they used the same twenty dancers, except one dancer has neon red-hair, as if to say "look, I may not be all that talented, but I'm interesting to look at, and I know this movie is going to suck, but I want to be able to point myself out easily when I rent the DVD". 

The movie ends with Justin and Kelly finding each other on the beach and...  Jesus, does it really matter?  Anyway, they sing and dance to their own unique cover of "That's the Way (Uh-huh Uh-huh) I Like it (Uh-huh Uh-huh)" to end the movie. 

But the real question remains:  What, exactly, is being given from Justin to Kelly?  The AI crown?  The chance to look less ridiculous than himself in a movie?  Or, God forbid, his sweet, sweet lovin'?  We may never know.  And we may not want to.   

Wow.  What a great movie.  It's too bad it signals the end of all that it is good.

BTW,

LANCE ARMSTRONG WON THE TOUR DE FRANCE

FOR THE 6th TIME IN A ROW

 
Go, Lance!

Upon Randy's advice, I have switched from Squawkbox to Haloscan.

All is going swimmingly.

All my old comments are gone.  Hope you wrote down and saved anything you said you found particularly clever.

I shouldn't admit this, but I'm watching the early 80's movie of Annie with Aileen Quinn.  What the heck ever happened to Aileen Quinn?  And if I am not mistaken, FDR just leapt out of his wheelchair to sing "Tomorrow" with Annie, Eleanor and Daddy Warbucks.

This movie rules.

Oh, Randy.  I bought that Eightball comic.  It was pretty good.

May I recommend Napolean Dynamite?

I leave Leaguers to go off and discover this one on their own, but I seriously don't think I ever quit laughing during the entire length of this movie from the opening credits until the last frame.

And I don't know who the actors are who played Napolean and Pedro, but these guys are geniuses.   And watching this film, once again, I was forced to say it:

there, but for the Grace of God, go I...


This movie is sweet.

It's SHARK WEEK on Discovery.

Damn.  I haven't kept up with Shark Week in years, but there was a time (in the early 90's...  must have been late high school or early college...) when I tuned in to every night of Shark Week for several years in a row. 

I drifted away at some point as they began to recycle old docs from previous years...  but now I'm watching Primal Scream, and this show is freaking me out. 

I took Scuba lessons in middle-school and did some diving between middle-school and early college.  And ever since I started diving, one of my two or three recurring anxiety dreams has involved being trapped in an enclosed structure with a scuba tank, very little air, and a large shark who hasn't yet realized I'm hiding in the corner.  Lately, the dream takes place in open water (which is, coincidentally, the name of a new scary movie about this exact topic). 

I don't think that I ever die in the dream, but who knows? 

What does the dream symbolize?  I think it's my fear that the Austin Public Library will come find me for not returning that book on trains I checked out in 1996.

The 2004 Mellies!  Day Numero Four!

Sorry for the break in Melly postings.  We've had some recent turns of events in La Familia which were unfortunate, unavoidable and not a lot of fun.  This has also interrupted my workout schedule.  Which meant that tonight was my frist trip back in a week.  Tonight sucked.  It's like starting all over.

Must never miss a whole week again.

I may be switching to Haloscan as per the recommendation of RHPT.com.  RHPT.com is wise like Papa Smurf.

Anyway, on with the show!


Best television commercial

Jim D.

The trailer for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Jamie

The ING commercial with the talking kitties.  Because one of them is wearing a monacle

Jilly

the master card ads with the dog that looks like my dog

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

The Six Feet Under Promo featuring the amazing Nina Simone, the Red-hot Lauren Ambrose on roller skates, and Peter Krause x 2. 

Scaljon

isn't there a good one with monkeys out there now? if not, then we'll go old school with the Mssr. Cheppy e-trade ad.

Harms

iPod ads. They have defined a whole decor motif, launched a thousand parodies, and launched the careers of several artists. Even if you don't like them they have been incredibly influential.

Valdez

This Honda commerical. According to numerous websites, this ad was shot in one take. Not true. My sister works for The Mill, who did the post-production effects.

Nord

a.  http://www.fuckallyall.com/article2007.html  b. The Screaming Kid in the Grocery Store Birth Control Commercial

The League watches TV, too...

and yet a single commerical from the past six months doesn't really pop into my mind.  I mean, the Quizno's Sponge Monkeys had a certain je ne sais quoi, but those commercials appeared terribly ineefectual, and weren't my favorite ads. 

I guess the Dennis Haybert Allstate ads qualify as pretty high up there, as they did lead The League to throw our endorsement behind the man for POTUS.  But, again...  not my favorite ads.

Go here to see my favorite commercials.

Oh, and, uh...  since there's no plurality or anything for a winner, I say that Scaljon's answer wins as it shows not his desire for an actual product, but his desire for a certain, chimpy, form of salesmanship.

Clearest, bluest day

Jim D.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - At 4:45 p.m. CST, on this day, my niece, Olivia Alexandra Dedman, was born in Columbia, South Carolina

Jamie

May 8.  Because it was so clear that I almost passed out at the animal park

Jilly

The day I realized that, indeed, Ryan 2 would be the perfect name for our child. In fact, the name will be Ryan 2 Jamie Steans Hermann-Wilmarth. Regardless of sex, of course.

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

June 8, 2004. For Art and Mudpies out of the clear blue sky

Scaljon

day after i was accepted to law school

Harms

In Northern California all the days ending with "day" are clear and blue.  A day that was particularly good was the day at Bondi when I caught my first real wave and rode it all the way to the shore with a few sweet turns. 

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. April 3, 2004. Although it was a bit cloudy in Central Park, 'tis a day that will shine forever.  b. Sunday, May 31, 2004. A wonderful 2 hour round of golf. 

It's always blue in Arizona...  and The League thinks that's half the trouble...

Sunshine has come to mean grueling heat in the mind of The League.  It means it's hot as hell between May and October (although I might say that, as I type this, it just began to rain).

My clearest, bluest day...?  I dunno.  But every day is clear and blue when Jamie is around.

 
Best candy

Jim D.

Tear Jerker Sour Gumballs

Jamie

Hot Tamales

Jilly

sweet tarts--satisfy all of my pregnancy cravings

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

Jason Lewis. Yummy.

Scaljon

jujy fruit.

Harms

Sour gummy peaches - so tangy, so sweet, so citric.  Keeps scurvy away - Arr!

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. M&Ms.  b. Whatchamacalit 

The League

Hot Tamales, fool! 

But I gotta say, this inspires me to try the few on this list I haven't yet tried.

Especially Gummy Peaches, which sound like either they'd be real good or real bad.

 

I loves me some Watchmen. 

This seminal 80's comic (by comic legend Alan Moore and artist extraordinaire Dave Gibbons) is one of the two or three comics that journalistas trot out each time they want to point to the fact that, once and for all, comics have matured since 1955.

I pulled this from Superhero Hype!

The Hollywood Reporter says Watchmen is moving ahead with some big names at Paramount..."Watchmen," the seminal DC Comics limited series, has landed at Paramount Pictures. Darren Aronofsky will develop and direct the project, which is being written by David Hayter. Aronofsky's producing partner Eric Watson will produce with Larry Gordon and Lloyd Levin. "Watchmen," created by writer Alan Moore and artist Dave Gibbons, was released as a 12-issue comic book in 1986 and is one of the most critically acclaimed series in the genre. It is a crime-conspiracy story that provided the first realistic look at the behind-the-heroics lives of superhero archetypes.
 
Watchmen is a phenomenal comic book, but...

Watchmen is about retired superheroes.  It has absolutely no action to speak of.   I think there are five or six fights in 12 issues.  And only one of the characters has any "super-powers." 

Like any decently dense reading, I don't begin to see how they can condense this into a 2 hour movie.  At one point, Jim D. suggested to me it might make for an excellent mini-series for TV.  And I think that's probably a much, much better idea. 

The story criss-crosses about forty years, is deeply embedded in Cold War issues, and covers topics from quantum physics to McCarthyism to pirate comics to troubled marriages.  Not exactly "We must defeat the Masked Menace!"  This is not to mention how curious I am about how they would handle the conclusion of the story.

Film adaptations of Moore's work tend to fail.  From Hell was a slightly interesting movie, but failed to capture Moore's densely layered investigation into the period and environment surrounding the Jack the Ripper slayings.  From all accounts, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was a tragic mistake.  I loved the comic, and thusly avoided the movie (which has nothing to do with the comic, from what I hear). 

Cartoon Network is adapting the classic Superman story "For the Man who has Everything" for one of the first episodes of the new Justice League Unlimited series.  I certainly look forward to their treatment.

I have no faith in Paramount's ability to actually bring anything remotely faithful regarding Watchmen to the screen (just watch...  they're going to make Dr. Manhattan wear clothes...).  Nonetheless, I am deadly curious about how they plan to present Dr. Manhattan and Rorschach. 

But, hey, Paramount!  Given my physical fitness, sign me up to play Nite-Owl!  I'll do it for scale!

Looks like Squawkbox has decided to turn a pig's ear and watch 'em squeal. 

Curious thing...  Squawkbox only takes payment by PayPal, and my credit card company won't let me sign up with PayPal.  Curious, no?

I'll figure something out. 

on with the show...

Mellies 2004, Day Numero Three

Most loathsome band/album/ song

Jim D.

Inspiration by William Hung. Is there really any competition for Hung in this category? Somehow, Hung has taken his fifteen minutes of fame and stretched it out far beyond what was previously imaginable. It is astonishing that he has released not only one album but will release another in the fall (which will include his rendition of Queen's "We Are the Champions"). Hung was, of coure, amusing during his initial appearance on American Idol, but the fact that he is still in the public eye after so many months illustrates that his handlers and his "record company" are attempting to milk him for every penny. His sincerity, which was at first intriguing, now just seems depressingly silly.

Jamie

'Hey Ya' as blasphemously manipulated by the Golden Globes to note the arrivals of celebrities and their bling-bling.

Jilly

stopped listening to the radio when I got a CD player in my car

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

I don't know. Probably something by one of those American Idol kids or Toby Keith

Scaljon

Tie. Nickleback, whatever Fred Durst is involved with, whatever Axl Rose is passing off as Guns N Roses

Harms

Nickelback - in the words of Jeaneane Garofalo back when she was doing comedy central ads, "mediocrity is evil".

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. Every band on the radio that isn't Outkast  b. Anything by former mouseketeers. I thought we moved past that with Beach Blanket Bingo.

The League Chimes in:

Well, I guess Nickelback wins.  Unfortunately, the only radio I listen to is the local public radio station, and until Renee Montagne decides to do a duet, I don't think think I'll be hearing them.

I pretty much don't hear anything new until it's months and months and months too old.  Today I saw a video on VH1's bizarre 90's nostalgia show in which they make reference to a band called "LFO" who enjoys girls in Abercrombie & Fitch (famous for catalogs in which people wear next to nothing, which I can onboard with), who was apparently really big in the 90's.  I had never, ever heard of LFO.  In the 90's, I was just discovering Roxy Music, so in 20+ years, I should catch up and really dig LFO.


Worst idea of the past 6 months

Jim D.

John McCain as John Kerry's Vice Presidential Nominee - I have never understood McCain's appeal, and the reputation of Republican maverick (which he foisted upon himself using "campaign finance reform" as a vehicle to free himself from the entanglements of the Keating Five scandal). McCain is an egomaniac, and the press only adores him because of his occasional tendency to stick it to his own party. I find McCain particularly distasteful as both a senator and a candidate, and I was pleased as punch when he was defeated in the 2000 presidential primaries by President Bush. Although McCain would likely do anything for the sake of self-aggrandizement, the prospect of his switching parties to join Senator Kerry (though unlikely) is a terrible, terrible idea.

Jamie

The intro of the 'roundabout' concept to the city of Mesa.  Imagine 5 very old people sitting in their cars waiting for each other to go

Jilly

take digital pictures of yourself abusing prisoners

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

Besides renewing the patriot act? Buying stamps to send email.

Scaljon

re-setting my tivo and ending up erasing everything. f direct tv customer service. DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Harms

MS-Windows perenially takes the cake

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. The kid in Lubbock who drank poison.   B.  This radio promo.

So Speaketh the League

Yeah.  So many ideas we manage to jack ourselves up with.  I think my bioggest mistake was having too many categories and THEN allowing everybody to have two answers.  Or perhaps the mistake was in not building an Excel file as the noms were coming in. 

I dunno.  This is turning into real work.

It also occurs to me that if I delay anymore, Jill might have her baby without the input of The Loyal Leaguers.

Best Name for Jill's Forthcoming Child

Jim D.

Male:  Filo,  Female:  Aphrodite

Jamie

C3 - designation of cube a cat Jamie and I were going to adopt, and we referred to the cat so often as "C3", we determined if we got the cat, we would name it "C3".  The cat was adopted, and we ended up with Jeff The Cat instead.

Jilly

Ryan 2 on both counts (male or female)

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

Boy: Ryan   Girl: Jamie

Come on, who is running this award thing anyway? 

Scaljon

i don't know jill or her child. but Seven is good. as is Napster.

Harms

Boy: Calvin  Girl: Ravenna

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. Atreyu - boy  b. Evangeline - girl  (the League has to give props to Atreyu.  Because the next step is to get an oversized dog named "Falkor.")

League sticks its nose in

I'm fairly certain Jill will be able to name her child without our help.  But that doesn't mean we can't help.  And I by help, I mean browbeat Jill into naming her child "Ryan 2". 

Jilly,  I am certain you will select a wonderful name for that kid.   Keep us posted with any news.   The League wants to publish the first internet photos.

Hey, if Maxwell can make herself into a Superhero, so can I.
 
Check out this link to make yourself a superhero. 
  
 

2004 Mellies, Day Numero Dos
 
Today we see two categories as I try to get through this nightmare of my own making!

Most loathsome television program

Jim
 
The Jury - This is just one of those shows which illustrates that the writers and producers have only a little working knowledge of the law and its procedure. I suppose that they pitched the show as a "Twelve Angry Men" for cynical, modern times, but it comes off merely as a third rate legal drama in which jurors are depicted as either misunderstanding key facts and evidence or refusing to follow jury instructions.  I had originally set my Tivo record this program as a Season Pass, but upon watching the first episode, I was so disappointed that I cancelled the pass so as to avoid all future showings.
 
(editor's note:  Sorry, Jamie...)  Wonderfalls - Despite the protestations of viewers, the cancellation of this acclaimed and praised (and mostly unwatched) television program was warranted. The program tried valiantly (too valiantly, in fact) to be hip and clever and postmodern and wry and ironic, and thus, its humor and narratives seemed forced. Oh, how I grimaced when the writers had their main character use the recently coined word "frenemy," a combination of "friend" and "enemy," just to showcase their hipness and familiarity with Internet lingo. Ugh

Jamie
 
The Simple Life.  Because Paris and Nicole will never realize what dumb dipshits they really are.
 
Jilly

The Swan--televised trainwreck

Randy
 
No answer 
 
Maxwell 
 
The Swan--I admit I watched this a couple of times for the sheer train wreck morbid fascination, and for this I will be judged in heaven
 
Scaljon
 
Again with the Kutcher. Punk'd is stupid and juvenile

Harms
 
Fox News - if I must be specific I think it's Hannity and Colmes 

Valdez
 
No Answer
 
Nord 

a. Survivor   b. American Idol
 
The League Chimes In:
 
Goodness.  You know, of the shows I watched this year, I'm tempted to say anything starring Wolf Blitzer is pretty lame... but is it loathsome?  Not really. 
 
This one is a tough call, and since I haven't actually seen The Swan, I have to believe it's strong showing here indicates the loathsome nature of this show.  And I thionk going into why here is a bit redundant.
 
The show I did see an episode or two of, which outstripped the embarassment of Jessica Simpson or the grotesque behavior of The Simple Life, was MTV I Want a Famous Face.
 
The show seems like some bizarre sequence from Robocop or The Running Man.  There's no other term for this show than "fucked-up."  The show follows really fucked-up people who worship A and B list celebrities, and, unable to stalk them on their Piggly Wiggly hourly wage, decide they will contract MTV to get them plastic surgery and a make-over so that they may look like bizarro versions of their favorite celebrities.  This isn't to mention that these people don't want to look like, say...  George F. Will, or Cokie Roberts.  These people want to look like fucked-up celebrities like Mariah Carey or Nelson or something.  But they don't.  They end up looking gross and weird, and MTV sort of fawns all over them like this is something really rational to do, and not something really fucked-up to do. 
 
I mean, this is the equivalent of you or I deciding we REALLY like Doc from Love Boat, so we're going to go get tube socks, stethoscope and a white sailor suit. 
 
Anyway, virtually all of MTV's programming is seriously jacked, but this show is seriously fucked-up.
 
But, maybe less fucked up than giving people a total body make-over and THEN making them compete in a beauty contest.
 

Most loathsome movie (theatrical release)
 
Jim

Van Helsing - Said I during my initial review of this movie: "Words fail me when I attempt to describe the utter awfulness of Van Helsing. Adjectives like 'abominable,' 'regrettable,' 'ridiculous,' and 'asinine' seem appropriate, but even they cannot convey the magnitude of the film's idiocy. I could attempt to cobble together a word or phrase ('deus ex machina-ridden' perhaps?) to achieve my great level of disdain for this cinematic detrititus, but even that would not accomplish the task."I can think of no other film released this year that was as awful.
 
However, for good measure, I'll include this as my second nomination: Dogville, a film about America by a pretentious Danish director who has never visited America. Lars von Trier has his moments (Breaking the Waves) but his downward spiral into fashionable pretension resulted in Dogville, which even The New Yorker called "unwatchable." I did not see it.

Jamie
 
Garfield. Because Garfield ceased being funny circa 1991.

Jilly
 
haven't seen enough to answer

Randy
 
No answer

Maxwell
 
Troy-within the first five minutes Brad Pitt smells the fart. It looks like Wolfgang Peterson took a joke take for each of Orlando Bloom's scenes, a "Don't worry, we'll never use this" take, and used all of them. There is one hot sex scene with a knife, but even Brad Pitt's naked ass cannot save this film.  
 
Scaljon

hmm. I haven't seen anything in a while that was truly awful. I'm guessing Farenheit 9/11 for the obvious reasons
 
Harms

The Passion of the Christ for undermining the hopeful message of Christianity and turning it into a death cult on the par of Q'tub's death cult.
 
Valdez
 
The Matrix Revolutions. The original was fantastically entertaining. Reloaded raised enough questions to keep me interested. The finale was endlessly disappointing.

Nord
 
a. Lost in Translation   b. The Passion of the Christ
 
The League Chimes in:
 
Looks like The League has turned on Gibson's exploration of Christ's final days.  I never saw this flick, so I don't really have much to say about it.  I mean, I loved the book, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to spoil it with a movie.
 
You know what movie really pissed me off? 
 
Disney's Home on the Range.  This movie wasn't funny.  It wasn't clever.  It was some nice, clean animation, but the humor was derivitive of every Disney movie since Aladdin. 
 
And, if nothing else, it's the last 2D movie from Disney for the foreseeable future.  Blah.  Just thinking about it irritates me too much to go on again.
 
 
 

The League is slowly but surely succeeding in its elaborate plan.
 
Just now, Jim D. e-mailed me to let me know he'd been to Mile High Comics in Denver.  Jim had not bought a comic in years, but recently, I dragged him back... kicking and screaming.  Apparently, he's newly fascinated with zombie and horror  comics.  Unfortunately, I don't pick up too many horror comics, so I am unable to be much help, but I am more than 100% supportive.  I actually am digging Darkhorse's Freaks of the Heartland.  it's not a horror comic, per se...  but it is done in the milieu.
 
And then Cowgirl Funk posted about her 4th, and how she managed to incorporate Free Comic Book Day into her day.  And the story is well worth reading. She seems to like Spidey.  Hey, I love Spidey.  More power to her.
 
 

YES!!!
 
Arnie finally plays off his own caricature as means to a political end!  And, predictably, everyone else acts like a caricature, too...
 
How many other Governors provide this sort of powder keg atmosphere?  Not dull, old Janet Napolitano out here in Arizona. 

The very first rumor about a new Superman movie to not make me break out into a cold sweat hit the internet this weekend. 
 
Apparently Bryan Singer (director of The Usual Suspects, X-Men 1 and X-Men 2) has signed on to develop the new Superman movie from Warner Bros..  Following McG (Charlie's Angels 1 and 2) being onboard twice to direct, and Brett Ratner (Rush Hour 1-15) being the other director previously affiliated with the movie, it appears Warner Bros. (who owns DC Comics, and thusly, Superman) is trying to follow the Marvel Comics path to success.  By stealing Marvel's directors.  Apparently WB has no idea how to handle the material, so they'll take the position of lifting Marvel's talent.  Real original, guys... 
 
Much has been made over the past two years over a JJ Abrahms (sp?) script which detailed Clark's adolescence and first appearance as Superman, etc...  and riffed on The Death of Superman.  The script also eliminated Superman's additional moniker "Last Son of Krypton" by, for some reason, keeping Krypton alive and well instead of blowing the planet up and giving Superman a large part of the basis for his character (ever wonder why he's so hell-bent on trying to save all of us puny earthlings?).  The JJ script was written after the success of Matrix 1, and was part of planned trilogy of Superman movies in which Superman saves Earth and Krypton from Brendan Frasier.
 
The JJ script was read by AICN's Moriarty, detailed in Moriarty's review, and sounded like a decent sci-fi script, but had absolutely nothing to do with Superman.  WB freaked out as the leaking and subsequent panning of the script became what some might estimate to be the single largest scandal ever to hit AICN.  Basically, nobody but dumb 'ol Harry liked the script (who will like anything, as long as he continues to get access), and the WB almost did a mercy kill on the project.  Only that didn't happen, most likely due to Hollywood politics.  
 
(Keep in mind, when JJ wrote the script to his version of Superman in 2002, his pet project had been ABC's Alias, a criticially touted program which appeared to be a show people liked, and with a growing audience.  In Summer 2004, most people aren't sure if the show is still on the air).

Well, DC and WB kept kicking the development of that script around until this week.  For the past year or so, the script has been under McG.  The problem was:  McG's sophomore effort with Charlie's Angels 2 was a disaster, critically and financially.  And somebody at the WB didn't want to hand this guy the $200 million he was asking for to make the movie on a script nobody seemed to like.  Plus, McG wanted NYC as Metropolis, and WB is, for some reason, hell bent on Sydney, Australia.  NYC was too expensive, the WB said.
   
Apparently, nobody is quite sure what the new movie would be like or about, or what Singer has in mind.  Except that some genius at WB noticed that they've been running a show called "Smallville" over on their TV network.  Apparently this show already tells how and where Superman came from.   The rumor mill is churning that this movie takes place after the initial appearance of Superman, and, possibly, long after he first appears.  This gives Smallville some breathing space and gives fans of the first Superman movies some comfort zone.
 
AICN seems to believe the movie is going to pick up where Superman IV left off.  Or possibly Superman II.  (I'd prefer the continuation of John Cryer's character from Superman IV blown out into his own series of movies).  I don't know.
 
All I know is:  starting over with a new script and director at this point can't be all bad.  And Bryan Singer has handily directed the first two X-Men movies, so you get a fairly good idea of how seriously he'll take the material. 
 
But Singer's attachment to Superman puts immediate development of X-Men 3 in serious jeopardy.  The X-Men cast seems to insist on having Singer as a director, and many may not return without Singer at the helm.  Personally, I wanted to see Phoenix on film, but I'll take Superman first, any day.
 
With Batman Begins set to hit next year (the Christopher Nolan directed Batman origin flick), could be a good year for DC.
 
Except:  another rumor hit this week that Jack Black has optioned The Green Lantern franchise and wants to make a wacky Green Lantern movie.  Of all the DC characters, Green Lantern is probably the least inherently funny, but apparently Jack Black wants to do a movie like The Mask, and WB wants to be in bed with him.  
 
One step forward, two steps back.
 
Now I'm just waiting for Beyonce Knowles to begin developing Wonder Woman and Tom Green to get Hawkman.  Then I can officially say that WB tries to ruin all that is fair and good.
 
Check out the CNN.com story

Here's the story from Newsarama.com
 
SINGER TO DIRECT WARNER BROS. SUPERMAN

Trading allegiances for at least one film, Variety reports that on Friday, X-Men director Bryan Singer signed with Warner Brothers to both develop and direct the Superman film.
 
According to the report, Singer will work with Michael Dogherty and Dan Harris to develop the film, which is slated to begin production in late 2004 in Australia. The deal with Warner Brothers makes it look unlikely that Singer will return to direct X-Men 3. The other project that Singer was reportedly set to develop and direct, a remake of Logan’s Run may still be on the table, though the trade reported the film may fall now to Constantine director Francis Lawrence.
 
The studio has also shelved JJ Abrams’ version of the script.
 
Prior to Singer, Charlie’s Angels director McG was attached to the film, though he left the picture after a disagreement with the studio over location and budget.
 
Variety also reports that Singer will bring a new take to the franchise for the film, most likely scrapping the original treatment’s focus on Superman’s battle with Luthor, and a mysterious visitor from Krypton who has come to earth to hunt Superman.   (League editor's note:  This was Brendan Frasier playing Superman's evil cousin who was coming to Earth to kill Superman so he couldn't return to Krypton to fulfill some prophecy about Superman saving Krypton.  because brendan Frasier had taken control of Krypton or something...)
 
Singer told Variety: "My interest in Superman dates back many, many years," Singer said. "In fact, it was the Richard Donner classic film that was my day-to-day inspiration in shaping the X-Men universe for the screen. I feel that Superman has been late in his return and it is time for him to fly again."

The 2004 Mellies, Day Numero Uno
 
This is too complicated.  Next time, we're doing one category and everybody gets one vote.
 
The thing is, you guys did a fantastic job, and thus...  I plan to share all noms and then announce the winners. 
 
One
 
Day
 
at
 
a
 
Time.
 
'Cause I'm crazy like that, Leaguers.
 
Later I'll be posting links back to everybody's blogs for bloggers who sent in a nom.
 
TODAY'S CATEGORY:  Most Loathsome Celebrity

Jim D.

Paris Hilton - Need I say more?
 
Michael Moore - The self-righteous Moore, though somtimes amusing, is no documentarian. By no means can the sort of film he makes be characterized as a documentary. Social satire, perhaps, but not strictly factual. His tendency to twist facts, rearrange the chronology of events, and omit surrounding circumstances to establish context, illustrate that he is a demagogue by any definition. (See here and here for my previous thoughts on Michael Moore.).

Jamie

Jennifer Love Hewitt.  Because she refuses to go away and for her participation in Garfield.

Jilly

Jennifer Lopez--and I'm not allowed to legally get married. she is the example of why nobody should be!

Randy

No answer

Maxwell

Nicole Richie isn't the biological daughter of Lionel Richie and she hasn't made a sex tape. Why is she famous?

Scaljon

Well, Tom Green hasn't done anything in a while. So it probably has to be Ashton Kutcher. Beyond wasting oxygen that clearly belongs to others, he's just annoying and stupid. Actually, taking that into account, he ties with Nicole Richie

Harms

Simon Cowell. It's part of his act to act loathsome, and I know that, I don't like the act though.

Valdez

No Answer

Nord

a. Jessica Simpson  b. Courtney Love 
 
The League chimes in...

There are so many tools on the TV to choose from, it's a real shame that we can only pick one or two (or whatever...)
 
But, wow...  People really dislike Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.  And who can blame them?  It appears that The Simple Life duo has really drawn the ire of Loyal Leaguers.  I've never actually seen "The Simple Life," but everything I've seen of the pair in ads and commercials pretty much makes The League want to begin to support communism if these two are a demonstrable example of the end result of successful capitalism. 
 
In truth, the latest spate of Paris Hilton interviews was what spawned this particular category, but I'm glad to see that I am not alone.