Thursday, February 10, 2005

It's that time again kids (because we've got a lot of territory to cover)...

It's time for...

DAMES IN THE MEDIA THE LEAGUE ONCE DUG

Instead of trying to do this in chronological order, I'm going to stick with a mystery theme to be revealed later (see if you can figure it out!).

This time around, The League investigates Knight Rider phenom Bonnie Barstow as portrayed by Patricia McPherson.


The lovely Patricia McPherson as Bonnie Barstow, world's greatest Jiffy-Lube employee.

Bonnie came into my life a few years on from Wonder Woman, when, I believe, I was maturing quite nicely in my taste in Dames. No longer did twirling seem to be such an attractive trait in a woman. Well, it was still important, but not as important.

So what did Bonnie have?

1) Bonnie didn't fall for Michael's nonsense. Sure, I loved Knight Rider, too, but I always thought Michael was sort of creepy. He showed more chest hair than I wanted to look at as an eight year old boy, and he usually spent the duration of most shows making goo-goo eyes at the dame of the week. And he was nice enough to Bonnie, and maybe a little flirty, but a) she didn't have badly frosted early 80's hair so Michael would never take her seriously, anyway, and b) she wasn't interested in his nonsense. You never once saw Bonnie show the slightest interest in Michael. No interest in creepy guy? Already I could feel the pitter-patter of my heart.

2) Hey, I was eight. I could not have cared less about Michael Knight's trials and tribulations. In fact, if the show had been about KITT and Dom DeLuise, I would have tuned in week after week just the same. For me, Knight Rider was about the Knight Industries Two-Thousand. And who was the genius behing K.I.T.T.? Bonnie Barstow.


Bonnie has trouble installing KITT's new 8-track.

Yes sir, Michael was just some jack-ass the Knight Foundation sent out there so draw fire away from their billion dollar, AI-infused car. Also, it would have been deeply suspicious if K.I.T.T. were zipping around southern California with no "driver" at the wheel. At the end of the day, those of us who knew the score knew that the Knight Foundation might as well have put a circus monkey in the cabin for all the good Michael did.

But, who had the brains and know-how to keep that car running? Surely not Michael (who was shot in the head in the pilot, as I recall). Nah, It was Bonnie who kept that show running. She was technically inclined and liked to chat it up with the talking car. My kind of lady.


Bonnie chats it up with KITT while replacing the windshield wiper-fluid.


3) They tried to replace Bonnie, and it didn't take. It's totally true. In the 1983-84 season, Bonnie wasn't on the show. I'm not sure why Bonnie bailed on KITT, or why Patricia McPherson wasn't on, but they brought in this sort of blonde woman to try to fill in for Bonnie. Rebecca Holden played fake -Bonnie April Curtis, but April just couldn't fill Bonnie's jumpsuit, and so, the next season, Bonnie triumphantly returned.


The evil, fake Bonnie, April Curtis, whose hair is a magnificent feat of architecture.

4) Bonnie apparently lived in the back of a semi, sort of like the truck in SpyHunter. Not only that, but she lived in the back of a semi which was constantly rolling, always nearby when needed, had every part conceivable to help fix KITT, and was always well-lit and spotlessly clean.

This is not to mention that the interior of the semi seemed to defy the laws of time and space, appearing to be much, much larger inside than outside.

One was, of course, left to wonder if the semi had a driver who had never taken a bathroom break, or if KITT's idiot cousin was up there muttering to himself.

5) No matter what, Bonnie's white jumpsuit always appeared spotless.



Sure, Bonnie had a lot of traits I didn't have at age 8. For example, had I had a white jump suit, it would have had Cheet-o finger stains down the front. But Bonnie was more than just another Jodie from The Fall Guy. Bonnie wasn't just eye-candy, she was also a mechanic and she was smarter than the rest of the morons on that show combined.

So a salute to Bonnie Barstow, finest TV mechanic to ever grace a white jumpsuit.

To read MORE about Bonnie, go here.

Go here to read up on Wonder Woman.
Y'know... sometimes I miss the cold, steely threat of mutually assured destruction which we enjoyed during the days of my youth. You sort of thought the USSR was probably puffing its feathers as much as the US (after all, nobody really benefits when the world ends up a smoking cinder looping around El Sol), and it gave us a big, spectral enemy to dislike. AND the Cold War also provided us with some neat movies.

I need to rent Firefox again.

Sadly, I haven't really had that "We're all doomed" feeling since I was 14 and Gorby made all nice with the west and the wall came down.

But, hey, Armageddon is not something which likes to lay still, and it's making a come-back in all new, wackier format.

Here and here coupled with here, here and here.

I only hope our movie producers are up to the task. Sadly, the German accent sported so often by the villains in Cold War flicks will be sadly inappropriate this time around.

So, make peace with your gods, mortals. I'm getting my lawn chair and bag of Stay Puffed Marshmallows ready.
All right you un-American swine, it's time to VOTE. So get in there and have your say...

VOTE NOW.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

That does it. I'm fashioning a series of 'US governor' carrots and retiring. Can someone send me a profile shot of Janet Napolitano? -- Mrs. League

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

So the doorbell rang surprisingly late this evening, probably around 7:45. I was watching American Idol, an episode in which contestants were being weeded out of the 200 who had been selected out of the hundreds of thousands who had auditioned.

"It's amazing," one of us had remarked. "These guys audition and they all really think they're going to be the finalist."

And later, when the lady who had sold her wedding ring to make it to the first set of auditions was told she was not going to go on... and she broke down and said something along the lines of "I guess I'm going to have to find something else to do..." and you couldn't help but feel bad, but at the same time... American Idol dominates television. It reigns supreme as the purest of signs of the image conscious, semi-talented bland vanilla of popular culture. Mostly, the show spotlights those aspiring to be popular entertainers for 9-14 year-olds, but mostly wanting to be as ubiquitous as Colgate. I don't think there are many people over the age of 25 buying the albums by the likes of Clay Aiken and Kelly Clarkson, but I might be wrong. These are people who have fashioned themselves into approximations of entertainers, without the staff available day and night to ensure they are constantly in the right pants and jacket. Something for nothing.

But this is the dream, and it's what American Idol holds out for the contestants before pushing them back, teary eyed and invariably embarrassed, back into the world of Wal-Marts and Papa Johns.

I got up and got the door.

This skinny little kid with a large guy was standing on the other side of the security door, and immediately, the kid launched into his prepared lines.

"Hello, sir. I am working with the (blank blank) youth sponsorship group. I am selling newspapers in order to raise funds for savings bonds for college, and to win points towards a trip to Magic Mountain."

Immediately the larger guy cut in.

"We're working with the (blank blank) organization, and we're selling the weekend edition of the East Valley Tribune. A lot of kids don't have a lot of guidance in their life..."

I nodded, caught the basic gist of what they were selling and why, asked how much, and went and got my check book. 1) I don't get the paper currently, and 2) I'm a sucker for kids pretending to save for college. Plus, the kid might go to Magic Mountain. I want to go to Magic Mountain, but if I can't go, someone should.

"Twenty bucks?" I said to the kid.
"Yeah," said the guy. "You play football?"
"No. A little basketball in high school. A little lacrosse."
"Yeah, you look like you played football."
"Ha. No."
"I played five seasons with the Cardinals."
I sort of blinked. Totally embarrassed and not wanting to ask him his name at all, because, honestly, I've never even watched my hometown team on TV. I've listened to them on the radio, but... No. I wasn't going to know who this guy was.
"Yeah, I'm not playing now, so I got involved with helping kids, doing stuff like this."
"Hey, that's great."
"Yeah, last year was really rough. I was going through a divorce, and I was riding my motorcycle and it spun out and I hurt my shoulder and so I'm not playing."
And, I didn't say, Dennis Green cleared house the day he got here. Not even bad players. He just started firing people.

Christ.

I was reminded of the time I was buying plane tickets from this lady from Southwest Airlines, sometime just before Christmas. She told me as I was thanking her that I was her last customer. "Before the Holiday?" "No. After this call I go home and they close the office. They're closing this office permanently tonight." "Before Christmas?" "Yeah."

Christ.

"But I'm going to get back into it," he said. "I had a shoulder surgery and I'm going to get back out there and play again."
He could. He was maybe pushing 30. He was big, but lean. He looked like a player.
"For Arizona?"
"No. Up north."
"Yeah?"
"I'm thinking Green Bay."
"Interesting year for them next year."
"I know Brett Favre," he was used to pulling this one out. It impressed the hell out of people. I love Brett Favre. He's my favorite quarterback. Whether I liked it or not, I was impressed as hell. Unsolicited, the guy went through his history with Brett and I nodded a lot.
And then he finished, and I said something vaguely supportive and impressed.
"I've had three knee surgeries, two shoulder surgeries and probably'll have back surgery before I can go back out there. But I'm training every day."
"You can get back out there for a few more years," I said, and I knew it sounded pretty lame.
"In the meantime I'm working with these kids, and I'm trying to help give them direction I never had."

And this guy, he wasn't like these kids on this show, jumping up and getting 15 minutes on AI, squawking out a few bars and trying to look good. He'd already been where he was going to go, and now he's standing on some guy's front porch spilling his guts, because maybe if he tells enough people and he believes it enough, maybe he's going to be back out there on the field again next season. The divorce and motorcycle accident will be behind him, and he can proudly talk about how he took time off helping kids, getting his head together. And when he's done, he can say he played with the great Brett Favre in his final season, and that all of this, being down with the rest of us fans, maybe that'll have been just a bump in the road.

So, you know, next fall I'll be looking for the guy in the pictures of the line-up of Green Bay.
I know nobody else saw the conclusion of the Suns/ Kings game, but that was freaking crazy.

Look for the last play on SportsCenter. That was insane.
Several interesting casting choices, the latest of which is here. Looks like the dude who played Kumar of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle is in the new Superman movie.

But as who? Doesn't say, but it sounds like he might be Pete Ross. Or, maybe Steel? Or Krypto? Or, maybe, some made-up guy. I'm hoping he's in a white doggy costume paying Krypto, but I'm cool like that.

Remember that good looking dame from North By Northwest? What ever happened to her? Eva Marie Saint is going to be Ma Kent. Seriously.

Kevin Spacey is Luthor. That dude from House, MD is Perry White. Sam Huntington from one movie or another is Jimmy Olsen. And Cyclops from X-Men is scheduled to play John Jameson... whoops. I mean, Perry White's kid. Who, I believe, croaked in the comics.

But rumors are swirling that the story involves Brainiac (which I applaud) teaming up with Luthor. So who is playing Brainiac?

While I vote for RHPT, I am not sure Randy would choose to wear the awesome costume.

There are various versions of Brainiac floating around in the Superman comics... but I am betting we get some mix of time-travelling Brainac 13 and Brainiac from JLU. Other versions just won't translate well to the big screen.
Not sure exactly what Warner Bros. Studios and DC Comics are up to...

As I was telling Randy the other day via e-mail, I really do try not to dwell too much on the business side of the comic book business. But, for the sake of clarity, it helps to know that DC Comics is owned by Mega-Monopoly AOL Time Warner. Specifically, DC Comics is not in the Warner Books section of the company, as you would suspect, but rather, DC Comics is part of the movie studio wing of the company.

What I'm not clear on is if this wing also includes the television networks which AOL Time Warner owns. These networks include the obvious WB network as well as Cartoon Network, Boomerang and a few others I am probably totally unaware of. But at one point, it also basically owned NBC's butt as the WB was responsible for much of NBC's line-up (Friends, Seinfeld, ER, and.. uh... Suddenly Susan).

So, Marvel Comics, which is publicly traded and is more or less it's own beast, has been pumping out a string of movies beginnign with Blade, now in it's unfortunate 3rd installment. Spider-Man made a truck load of dough, the sequel did likewise... X-Men and X-men United did well, so it seems like people are willing to drop a few clams to check out superheroes at the theater. Although, honestly, I think the soon-to-be-filmed Nic Cage Ghost Rider movie may change all of that.

So, where are the DC movies?

They're coming.

WB has had the brands out there to some extent. We know Smallville has been out there touting a pre-cape Superman for 3.5 seasons. And Justice League (now JLU) has been selling some of the major players for several years.

Batman Begins (the Bat-film for this summer) is now being edited, Superman is scheduled to begin shooting in very short order (in March, I think), A Flash movie is being scripted, Green lantern rumors abound, and... get this Buffy-geeks, Joss Whedon may be directing a Wonder Woman movie.

As Marvel's movies are already losing steam (the trailer for FF looks pretty bland to me, anyway) DC may be ready to assemble the JLA for the big screen. It's a pipe-dream, but dammit, I'm going with it.

While you chew on that, here's a story on a possible Wonder Woman movie, with a link to the actress most recently suggested for the starring role.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Hooray. I am no longer sick.

I feel kind of okay. And after a week of feeling like I'd been jumped by a troop of baboons, next week is going to be great.

Of course, as I am feeling better, Mel got two of his claws popped off jumping off the playground equipment. He had done this many times before with no ill-effect, but as you can imagine, my guilt is running pretty deep.

We just finished watching the Superbowl. Totally randomly we chose to cheer for the Eagles. Good choice, but, luckily, we don't care all that much that they lost. I feel a little weird since all I've done for a week is watch TV. First, the week of being sick. Then, yesterday, we did some grocery shopping and whatnot, but we stayed in and watched the Suns game. I do feel like a total traitor becoming a Suns fan, but they show almost all of their games here, so after a while you do get attached. Especially at the level of play these guys have been showing this season.

Of course, we started watching Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl about 3.5 hours before kick-off. For being, possibly, the most straight forward programming ever to appear on television, it was surprisingly entertaining.

Next weekend I PROMISE to be good and go do real stuff and go to the gym and whatnot, but I feel like I had a pretty good unofficial holiday weekend.

I wasn't nuts about too many commercials which ran this year, and I thought the Marvel Superheroes Visa commercial was a total dud. I suppose it was kind of okay... but I couldn't even tell who was supposed to be talking, and most of the characters were lit so poorly, I couldn't make out the second row anyway.

On the other hand, the half-time show (starring Sir Paul McCartney) wasn't half-bad in its simplicity. Hopefully they'll remember next year that you don't need to cover the stage in MTV approved stars, and that there are maybe a few musicians who most of a football stadium will agree to enjoy (and not, in fact, boo), and most of the millions of viewers won't actually spend the half-time show making fun of the musician... And, hey... I didn't even need to cynically use quotations marks around the word "musician."

Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the game. Or party. Or snarkily doing anything BUT watching the Superbowl because, you know, you don't watch sports on TV (in which case I reserve the right to give you noogies and wedgies, nerd).

Psst! Hi Leaguers - Mrs. League here. The League is currently absorbed in an engaging program called the Puppy Bowl -- Animal Planet's answer to today's Super Bowl festivities. It involves dumping about 10 puppies in a minature stadium complete with toys, water bowl, and a 'referee' (read: pooper scooper) who occasionally makes an appearance and throws a penalty flag. By the League's mesmerized expression I'll be lucky if he'll let me switch over to the big game come 4:30.

In other news, Melbotis has had himself a lil' ol' accident. Poor fella lost 2 claws at the playground yesterday which involved a bloody paw and has been limping since. Let's all wish Mel a speedy recovery.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Sometimes I really miss living near mi hermano, The Amazing Steanso.

Sure, he's lice ridden and smells like that white-cheddar Mac and Cheese they serve you in elementary school, but aside from his incontinence, I like to think he and I have a lot in common.

Namely, we both really, really like bad movies. More specifically, we could always get each other excited about going to see a movie with a somewhat promising premise which we knew had been an utter failure in its execution.

And with commercials now running ad nauseum for Constantine, I am missing Jason more than ever. BY GOD, we would have been out to see that one opening night.

What Constantine has going for it:

Constantine is based upon DC's Hellblazer comic, a long running title featuring a lower-class Brit who happens to know quite a bit about the world of magic. John Constantine was envisioned by Alan Moore, the same guy who gave us From Hell, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Watchmen and numerous other ingenious comics. (note: some of these have been translated into abysmal movies).



The trick to the comic is that Constantine isn't Merlin. He's not flying around on magic carpets and shooting lasers out of his eyes. Constantine uses the sort of magic that if he swings a dead cat around his head for half an hour under a blood-red moon while chanting the words to "House of the Rising Sun", he might somehow come out on the winning end of a bet. It's that sort of voo-doo, witchy magic.

The comics are pretty good, and I followed them for years until they got on a creative team I didn't like, and I just never got back into Hellblazer.

Constantine's story is basically about a guy who, when we meet him, we know, no matter what, he is going to Hell. He tends to get his friends killed, he tends to lie, cheat and steal to get the job done, and he literally makes deals with the devil (hey, it's how he beat lung cancer...). So, right... Kind of a cool, grubby, underground comic which isn't looking for superheroes overhead, it's looking at the worms in the gutter.

Technically, in a lot of ways, Hellblazer is a horror comic.

Strikes against:

Now, essential to the comic is the fact that John is lower class, middle-aged and British. John's roots in late 70's punk bands, Thatcherian-era recession and whatnot are key character elements in a book which relies 95% on character and 5% on plot.

Flat out, this SHOULD have been a Gary Oldman vehicle, and instead we have Ted S. Preston, Esq.


At least he's smoking and wearing a tie. That's a start.

The movie also appears to be an action flick. Translation: the producers optioned another comic in the wake of Spider-Man's success, only to find out the comic was about a chain-smoking Londoner who stands around a lot using the "f-bomb." Unsure of what, exactly, they should do with the material, they cut it down to the few times Constantine has ever been depicted running, and voila!

I am so hoping I am wrong. I really am. But, somehow, I have a really bad feeling about this. Sometimes you wish they would just rip off the source material, rename it and sell it as something new rather than demonstrating that they totally did not understand what they bought in the first place.

I'll probably still go see this movie. I don't know why, but I'll probably still go see it if Jamie is game. But I guarantee you, Jason would be PUMPED UP to go and see this flick, and he'd have $6.00 for a coke and popcorn, too.


Thursday, February 03, 2005

Hey. Jamie is feeling a bit low about being so silent of late here at The League.

She's making some delicious Polynesian Chicken at the moment, but she said she wants to say "Hi."

So, you know...

Hi. From, uh... from Jamie.
From Reuters:

Advertisers at this year's Super Bowl hark back to the familiar in new commercials for TV's biggest event, dusting off celebrities from decades ago and putting childhood icons into the spotlight. Cartoon super heroes like Spider-Man and Captain America rush to the rescue in payment card company Visa's spot, while the Muppets dig in to Pizza Hut fare. Cartoon hero Thor is seen in the Visa ad in this undated publicity photo. (Visa/Reuters)


Thor poses for the latest Dio album cover

The League has never been a huge fan of Thor. Yes, yes... we understand the Kirby connection and that he's a classic Marvel character, but I've just never been nuts about the comics he's been in. Hey, I know... I'm as surprised as you are.

The good thing about commercials is that the characters usually appear unaltered, and sometimes it's cool to see these characters appear in the living flesh, doing their thing, untouched by Hollywood costume designers.

The best part is that Thor is hawking credit cards. Why does a Thunder God need credit cards? No one can say. But I am sure if the Avengers issued Thor a credit card, he would be sure to run up charges and skip town.

But nothing was as disturbing as the 1997 Baby Ruth ad starring DC's own Hawkman.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

The League is sick of being sick.

I headed into work this morning, and about half-way there realized I had made a terrible, terrible mistake. Well, I thought, you can tough it out.

About 1:20 I realized that I was unable to actually understand what my co-workers were telling me and that I just sort of wanted to lay down under my desk, and so I headed home about 2:00.

I shouldn't complain. This is the first time I've been this sick since I escaped the ragweed and moldy weather of Austin. Once every three years ain't that bad. And given Jamie's laundry list of medical fun, I have absolutely no room to complain. Of course, she totally is nice when I'm feeling run down, which makes me feel totally guilty as I think I've become a bit jaded to Jamie's ups and downs.

The question now is: Do I try again for work tomorrow? After all, I actually feel worse now than I did this time yesterday (despite my heartbreak at the Suns' loss to the mighty Memphis Grizzlies).

I would like to feel better for the weekend. And I would like tickets to the Suns game Saturday night. I do not think either will happen.

While the rest of you suckers were watching that dude in the State of the Union Address (and alternately nodding solmenly in agreement or throwing Fiddle Faddle at the screen. You know who you are.) The League was getting caught up with his new Batman: The Animated Series DVD.

Pretty sweet stuff. These episodes are each little master strokes of animation with a distinctive voice, character and perspective. Unlike most cartoons, the logic and storylines are always tight, while still being cool stories for ages 3 - 90.

My Superman DVD's also made a showing, but Jamie is indisposed this evening and has made a special request that I delay viewing them until she can participate.

Mel, on the other hand, has taken his Superfandom into an entirely new direction and decided to guest-star in an upcoming episode of Smallville.


Mel is delighted to be guest-spotting on the upcoming "Krypto" episode of the WB's Smallville.

Good for Melbotis.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I know this shouldn't be funny, but...

I now much watch my collection lest the opposition forces take hold of Lt. Spider-Man and Captain Superman.

The League has fallen ill. We done got ourselves the bug that's going around the office. So, you know, for the first time in quite a while, The League is taking a few days off to lay in his own cloud of germs and feel funky.

Last night, due to the lack of breathing and hacking and coughing, The League decided to exile himself to the guest room. Mel decided to sleep on the floor. Unfortunately, Mel snores more than The League, so The League was waking up every half hour poking Mel so he'd knock it off.

Anyway, The League still feels funky, but not nearly as funky as yesterday. Or, especially, not as funky as Sunday night when The League was seeing a bright light and the spirits of his ancestors.

Ya'll take care in The League's absence and drink plenty of juice.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Oh, and I don't know who Ginny is, but she's linked to The League.

Thanks, Ginny! As Hammer would say, Proper!

And thanks to Jim for somehow locating Ginny's blog and forwarding the link.

I'll be adding Razzberry Vinaigrette to The League forthwith.

right on.
Hey, wow. Cool.

Heidi McDonald has added a link back to The League at her website which is read by, literally, more than a dozen comic fans. No, seriously, Heidi's blog is top of the top the world of comic related websites.

It's kind of cool to be blog rolled, even way, way, way down the page. But! I'm also not exactly a creator, am I?

That was super of her! Heidi gets a Mellie.
Food Network is really weird.

They have a show about tailgating starring either someone who looks exactly like Holly Robinson or else it IS Holly Robinson refusing to take her career off life support. Good for her.

All she is doing on this program is introducing segments on how people tailgate around the country. This requires her to stand over a Weber and jab a fork into meat on the grill.

It says on IMDB that Holly is the daughter of Gordon from Sesame Street. Huh. But not the Gordon I am familiar with. Apparently Sesame Street swapped out Gordons at some point.

Sometimes what I learn on the internet creeps me out.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

So I guess today Iraq had it's first real elections.

Now, Iraq had elections in recent memory, but with Saddam nabbing 99% of the vote, as I recall, one is led to believe the opposition just wasn't really putting their heart into it.

And, despite how you or I or whomever may feel about the road to the election, I'd like to think we can agree that it would be a good deal if this democracy thing will take root in Iraq. It's a wait and see experience at this point, which is sort of leaving me feeling a bit like Lone Star and Barf toward the end of the second act of Spaceballs.

"C'mon, Schwartz..."

You're not sure it's going to work, but you think if you stare at it hard enough, maybe... just maybe MegaMaid will switch from suck to blow.

Anyway, here's to Iraqis learning how to cast a vote. More importantly, here's to Iraqis hopefully not shooting at one another when their candidate of choice doesn't get the job.

Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan!

Whoo hoo!

Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan!

Whoo hoo!

Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan!

Whoo hoo!

Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan!

Whoo hoo!

Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan!

Whoo hoo!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

I really, really, really have nothing to write about. But, I know even the Loyalist Leaguer is probably sick of failed contests and me yammering on about how anything DC Comics does is ingenious.

So.

I've decided to come up with a new column I can toss in here when I reach the point at which I have time to post, but nothing to post about. It's not going to be a super hero spot-light. That sort of went over like a lead balloon.

Nah.

If there's one thing The League is missing, it's lots of violence. Short of that, we're also missing drugs and sex. Since violence isn't really a part of my life, and the only drugs in this house are all on the up-and-up, I must revert to sex.

Unfortunately, Jamie has more or less put a ban on allowing me to discuss our more intimate details, and without a good CAD program, I'm not really sure I could really get my points across here, anyway.

SO... Inspired by supersite, RetroCrush, The League has joyfully lifted somebody else's idea.

It's time to take a peek back at how The League became the man he was. It's time to look back at Dames In the Media Who The League Once Dug.

So...

DAMES IN THE MEDIA THE LEAGUE ONCE DUG

If I'm going to do this, I might as well start early. And why not with one of my earliest memories?

God knows what armchair psychologists would say about how this personality effected my young mind (we will much more thoroughly discuss this in the Yvonne Craig Column), but first and foremost of chicks I once dug (and continue to dig) is Wonder Woman as portrayed by the lovely Lynda Carter.


Lynda Carter looks radiant in her Wonder Woman get-up.

I don't really remember much from the first airings of the Wonder Woman TV program. Mostly I remember Wonder Woman did a lot of twirling. And what kid doesn't also like to do a lot of twirling? So, you know, I sort of thought maybe Wonder Woman and I had something in common we could talk about.

Why was Wonder Woman so cool?

1) Girlfriend has an Invisible Jet. This means she's a pilot. That's cool. The jet is either magical or has some awesome cloaking technology. That's very cool. And she hasn't chosen some lame mode of transportation that somehow involves a magical horse with wings or a horn. That's doubly cool.

2) Her secret ID? She works for the military. She's a woman in uniform either as Diana Prince or as Wonder Woman. You've got to like that.

3) She's un-selfconscious standing around in a swimsuit that looks like it was designed by the costumers at Six Flags. For this fact alone, Diana Prince should be saluted.

4) She punches people. Look, when you're a four-year-old boy, you're convinced that if you could just punch people correctly, all would be right with the world. Your entire MO for somehow affecting yoru world is to poke and destroy. Wonder Woman slugs a lot of people. Again, at age 4, I thought me and Wonder Woman had a lot we could talk about.

5) Magic Lasso. Charles Moulton Marston who dreamed up Wonder Woman back in the 1940's as a positive role-model for girls and boys was sort of a freak. I really don't have time to get into all of this here, but I suggest you read Les Daniels' Wonder Woman: The Complete History.

6) Steve Trevor. Wonder Woman's love interest was a dude who was a suave military man in his own right, who probably appreciated Diana Prince in her own right, but he REALLY appreciated Wonder Woman. But really, the point is, at least Wonder Woman's love interest wasn't a complete loser.

7) Bullet Proof Bracelets. So, dude is going to shoot at you? And you can't throw down a smoke bomb like Batman or let the bullet bounce off your eye-lid like Superman? You best get yourself some bullet-proof bracelets. And, you'd best know how to use them. (comic trivia: Wonder Woman's bracelets are functional, and also symbolize the wrist shackles the Amazons once wore after being enslaved by Hercules and his thugs.)


Hit me with your best shot. Fire away.

8) Ravor Sharp Tiara. I can't remember if this ever came into play on the show or cartoon, but Wonder Woman used to be able to throw her tiara to cut ropes and whatnot.

9) Can fight crime in clearly uncomfortable boots. Seriously, those things look awfully uncomfortable.


No part of the Wonder Woman ensemble was designed to be comfortable, functional or to leave much to the imagination.

10) Not as crabby as Super Friends Wonder Woman. Look, I love Wonder Woman. She's the best. She's my favorite pantless super hero. But Wonder Woman on the Superfriends was always sort of crabby. She always sounded more like a 2nd Grade teacher trying to get her class inline rather than like a fun super hero. I'll take Lynda Carter's take on the role any day.



Because his powers are only slightly more useful than owning a Pocket Fisherman, Wonder Woman is forced to give Aquaman a ride home once again. Unbeknownst to Wonder Woman, Aquaman is going to awkwardly make a pass at her when she drops him off.

So, there you have it. Dame #1: Wonder Woman by way of Lynda Carter.

I need to pick up that DVD collection at some point...


Jim D. brought Steven G. Harms' enthusiastic review of Rilo Kiley to my attention this morning.

You know, I feel exactly the same way about Waffle Crisp.

This one's for Jim D.
It appears Condoleeza Rice will be the new face of the United States in international politics.

Secretary of State. Condi Rice.

I'm just trying to sit back and let it all sink in.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Something is going down at DC Comics.

1) It seems DC is getting back into the idea of continuity.

For those of you who do not know what continuity is: The way that serial or episodic television programs build on one another as one long story? How what characters learn from episode to episode effects how they will behave in subsequent episodes? How if Character A gets their eye poked out, in the next episode, s/he most likely will not have an eye?

That's continuity.

Comics from both DC and Marvel sort of gave up on continuity a few years ago. The writers stated that they needed the freedom to tell their own stories. There may have been some truth to that, but the writers were hired to do a job. In my opinion, the writers weren't willing to do their homework when they came onto a project and wanted the freedom to do whatever they felt like.

Unfortunately, this had a widespread chilling effect on the comic industry. Intended to bring in new readers, the move drove off long time fans. Despite the fact that a fan may have been loyally reading, say, SpatulaMan, since 1970, if Hot Writer of the Week showed up, he was under no obligation to know anything about the comic he was writing. And Hot Writer usually saw to it that he was in print telling unhappy fans that they were being immature or silly for being confused when major stories from the series were altered or ignored altogether.

2) Continuity on titles is rolling into interconnectivity of titles once more

Back in the bad old days, continuity also meant that if, say Spatula Man got a new hat in his own comic, when he appeared in League of Utensils the next month, there he'd be with his new hat. He might even comment on the new hat. And voila! Instead of one comic book you read, as these comics sort of bumped up against one another, you had this sort of vast tapestry of comics to pick from and see what was going on in different aspects of the same world, all telling different stories.

Recently DC has made a point of ensuring major characters guest in each other's comics and discuss events from multiple titles. (ex: Wonder Woman might show up in Superman comics and mention an event from JLA).

This not only assists in presenting a cohesive single view of events and characters in DC Comics, but it also reminds me of why I sort of thought comics were cool when I was a kid. Michael Chabon referred to the effect as "secret knowledge." Simply by being familiar with the comics, a whole separate ongoing and interesting world was constantly unfolding each month in each issue of each comic. And the ability to keep up with it gained you a unique perspective on teh tapestry as a whole.

It's also a good outlet for my OCD.

3) A Crisis Brewing?

DC has been trying to relive the colossal boom of Crisis on Infinite Earths since 1986. Crisis not only sold phenomenally well as an individual series, but helped sell through a lot of other comics being published.

What this took was a heck of a lot of coordination on the part of the DC staff to make sure all the comics could sensibly tie-in to Crisis.

DC would love to see a pile of comics in 2005, just like they did in 1986.



Hints of a crisis really began back in Superman/Batman #6 when Luthor got stomped by Superman and, in the epilogue, promised "a crisis!"

4) What does it all mean?

It means that not only have a few hints online suggested a new "Crisis" is brewing, but that with increased continuity across multiple comic titles and writers clearly working together, it's a lot of fun reading multiple DC comics right now.

It's not clear yet what the Crisis event is, but there have been hints of it everywhere from Superman/Batman to Teen Titans. Identity Crisis, the huge cross over event of 2004 appears to have been the first act in what the writers have planned.

I welcome folks to check out DC comics to see what's going on these days.

If NOT, I would redirect you to the All-Star titles which should be debuting this summer.

3) DC All-Stars for new and occasional readers

Recognizing that some of their comics have run since 1938, DC isn't pressing new readers to necessarily pick up the past 70 years of comics. They're releasing contained multi-issue stories with familiar story elements folks might expect picking up a DC comic.

I know I've harped on these before, but when they come out in a few months, I'd really encourage folks to pick them up. These'll be fun stories told by the absolute best in the superhero business.


Sunday, January 23, 2005

Well, goodness, kids. It's been a while.

Got back a few hours ago from seeing "In Good Company". Not The League's preferred faire, but you know, if you eat bean burritos every day, eventually you're going to get sick of them.

Fairly decent flick, and when it slowed down I spaced and ogled Scarlett Johannsen.

The film tackles a lot of fairly mundane topics from the business world and attempts to bring them into sharp focus. I was feeling sort of squirmy that the story hinges completely on the fact that one of the central characters is a 26 year old who had risen to a seemingly unearned position of authority.

A few years ago when I started in my job, I suspect I may have been viewed with some of the same contempt by some who suspected my age. Luckily, I have the unfortunate issue of looking older than I actually am, and was able to sort of fly under the radar.

In the completely non cut-throat world of university staff, things like degrees earned and seniority are weighed with an amazing amount of import. So, I learned quickly to keep my non-Master's having mouth closed, and my non-30+ self safely age-agnostic. Occasionally it will come out that, yes, I am 29 (all too soon to be 30), and that, yes, I have no Master's degree (as if somehow I did something wrong by not obtaining a Masters). These are mini-powder kegs in the university environment, and it's best not to try to come across as a hot shot, or the weird lady from the registrar's office will come down on you like a ton of bricks when she decides you're getting too big for your britches.

Speaking of University work, I have been very busy with the projects I'm responsible for. I seriously clocked hours in the triple digits last week, and this week ran a little long as well. It's the first week of the semester, and that always means a circus in higher education.

I'm not really sure what the point of all of this is, except that I am, in fact, sort of back.

I think I probably missed some good stuff while I was out. I saw Bush got inaugurated, and that his flashing the "Hook 'Em Horns" sign was thought to be a sign of El Diablo in parts on Scandinavia and beyond. I actually would LOVE to find out some guy we elected twice was, in fact, in league with dark forces. It would at least make me understand a little bit more about how our world functions.

Saturday Night Live chose to jump on the "Hook 'Em Horns" thing with a skit involving Amy Poehler as Jenna Bush continually flashing the "Hook 'Em Horns". And then, in a sort of weird bit, the skit sort of made fun of UT in comparison to Yale, playing it off as a hick school. Which not only wasn't funny, but reminds me of why conservatives can't stand the mythic East Coast Liberals. Whether true or not, in their eyes, any and all things associated with Texas will forever be those of the unwashed and the crassness of the nouveau riche. So, you know, their University must be full of troglodytes who can barely wipe themselves.

Outside of Texas, you begin to realize, sure, folks from the East think all Texans are sort of mildly brain damaged, arrogant bastards. But folks from Arizona believe it, too. And, unfortunately, Texans all too infrequently are able to give anyone any reason than to think that maybe it is a state run by yokels and red necks.

I do get tired of the knowing nods and shit-eating smirks when I am asked where I came from before Arizona. You do spend a lot of time saying "Well, not everybody is like that."
"But it is like that," folks counter with.
"Yeah, well," I say, rubbing my eyes. "There's usually a grain of truth to most of what you suspect."

I think people, at least people in Arizona, have a sort of hard time understanding what a vast state Texas is, and how the geographic regions are, in fact, quite different culturally.

"I always thought everyone from Texas was a racist," a co-worker asked me. That's how she put it: I thought everyone from Texas was a racist.
"No."
"Isn't that where they dragged the guy behind the truck?"
"Yeah."
But you're not going to go down to Houston and find that happening. Or Dallas, or Midland. It was butt-assed nowhere Texas, in atown nobody had ever even heard of until some drunk bastards decided that night was the night to show that thousands of years of civilization means nothing when you think nobody is going to catch you. But it's Texas. And try and tell anyone that Vidor is not San Antonio, and you're wasting your breath.

"You've been to Waco?" folks ask me.
"Yeah," I say. "And no, I never saw any Davidians. Just Baptists."
"That was weird. What did they do with the site?"
"First of all, it's not actually in Waco. It's outside of town. Waco is a little weird, but the Davidians were not in Waco. And I think some extreme libertarians bought the land and they're rebuilding the compound on it."
This is always met with blank stares.
"Texas," I assure them, "Is a weird place to live."

You do not hear about people in Maine having problems with 51 day cult stand-offs. You do not have a show called "Cleveland" about people sporting fake Ohio accents and dressing in cartoonish Ohioan outfits that still runs overseas. New York State is never confused with New York City. Possibly California and New Jersey carry some of the same weight each time they declare their statehood. And when I state I am from Texas, people (and I mean maybe 30% of the time) think it's okay to say "I'm sorry!" and then laugh about it. Like, you know, you KNOW you should be ashamed, right?

Right. Because here in Arizona you have so much more to live for.



Thursday, January 20, 2005

Hi all.

Sorry it's been a slow few weeks at The League. Work is hectic and I'm barely home, let alone enough to sit and dream up the nonsense which I post on these pages.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

By the way, the League is thrilled to see that nobody much wanted to see the Elektra movie released by Marvel Studios.

Elektra was introduced by Frank Miller into Daredevil comics back when having hordes of ninjas in your comics seemed like a swell idea. Miller's Daredevil/ Elektra stories still hold up very well. THe trick is, at the end of these stories, Elektra pretty much took a dirt nap.

So long, Elektra.

Elektra's best appearance was in a spin-off limited series called "Elektra: Assassin", a comic which featured cyborgs, ninjas, shady government agents, blue alien dwarfs and massive government conspiracies.

(ed. note: It appears Marvel actually let Elektra: Assassin go out of print again prior to the release of the movie. Fearing, I guess, that somebody might find some interesting Elektra material out there.)

On top of this, the incomparable Bill Sienkiewicz illuistrated the comic, creating an 80's pop art masterpiece, the likes of which have barely been seen since.



it is important to note that Elektra's one big character trait in the Miller-scribed Elektra comics was that Elektra was completely nuts. She might kiss you, she might shove a sai through your ear. THe point in the Daredevil comics was that Daredevil falls for the wrong kind of dame. In the Elektra: Assassin comics, the point was that their was method to her madness.

Once Marvel Comics and Frank Miller had parted ways, Marvel decided Elektra was too hot of a property to pass up. Unfortunately, virtually nobody at Marvel seemed to know how to handle the character. In the late 90's, when Bill Jemas took over the reigns at Marvel, he decided to reinvigorate Elektra by hiring Greg Horn to do cheesecake Elektra covers on the lackluster comic series, and give lonely comic nerds a sort of fetish idol of their own.

Even more bizarre, Jemas tried to market Elektra as a sort of spokesmodel to the highest bidder. So, you know, if Guess Jeans wanted Greg Horn to paint Elektra in Guess Jeans, there she'd be. It seems as if the idea never took off.



Just to add to the bizarre-o universe which jemas was creating, Marvel had a spin-off company which would allow you to hire actors in their characters' costumes to come to your mall opening or birthday party or whatever. So, one of the characters you could invite was blood thirsty, S&M ninja Elektra. 'Cause that's always fun at your birthday party, right after you blow out the candles.

The Daredevil movie decided to capitalize upon the popularity of the Elektra storyline from the 80's Daredevil comics and included TV's only spy played by a Peep, Jennifer Garner.

The Daredevil movie, of course, managed to utilize the important plot points from the Daredevil comics while managing to drain any life from the story. Meanwhile, it managed to ham & cheese up what parts it did keep, making Elektra both unbelievalby boring and kind of a dullard.

I am pleased to see that the rest of the country also seemed to believe an Elektra spin-off film was a terrible idea (it grossed a whopping $12.5 million, comin in #5 this weekend at the box office). Funny how people aren't that interested in a story which is apparently pulled from patchwork bits of Marvel Comics' B and C list of characters.

Unfortunately, from what I hear, the Marvel movie I was looking forward to, The Fantastic Four, released it's first trailer with Elektra and is looking to be a big old stinker along the lines of Daredevil. Maybe rushing these things out wasn't the best option for anybody.

I would have loved to have seen somebody try to tackle the Elektra: Assassin story into a movie, but that's not going to happen. So, until then, I'll just hold onto my comics and enjoy them all the more.

Just popping my head up once again to prove that The League still has a pulse.

This week has been a rough one. I'm not quite done and from Monday to today, will have logged somewhere over 110 hours at the office this week. I am feeling sort of tired.

I more or less completely missed a visit by Mrs. League's folks, and am only now beginning to remember what the light of day looks like.

One of the oddest parts of what I'm up to is that, if all goes well, there won't be much to show for my work. A few pieces of hardware will be added in, but the idea is to make as seamless an environment at possible for the faculty and students using the classrooms we've been outfitting. They SHOULDN'T see the miles of wire laid, the thousands of connections, nor the place in the wall where I stood banging my head for two hours when my DVRs STILL didn't show up.

I'm not feeling terribly confident that I'll still be employed this time next month, but, hey, at least we sort of finished. Now I'm off to do the work which I SHOULD have normally been doing over the past two weeks, and try and get it done before Tuesday when classes begin.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Apocalypse Watch!

Hey, it's yet another sign of the apocalypse!


Now if the beast would just crawl forth from the sea...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

btw, I did rip off the tsunami relief link from Maxwell. Consider buying a few less MP3s and see if you can't help some folks out.

Take a look at the shiny box on the left side-bar.
Hi.

Just popping in.

Lately I've been watching a lot of Suns basketball. I've given up on the idea that they will suddenly start showing Spurs games on Phoenix TV.

Lucky for me, it turns out the Phoenix Suns are having a banner year. They've got a great team put together and the best record in the Western Conference. I'm becoming a big fan of Amare and the gang. Tonight the Suns beat the highly ranked Miami Heat by 15 points.

In Austin I was able to catch Spurs games on a channel called Fox Sports Southwest. Here in Phoenix I watch the Suns on Fox Sports Network. Not a bad channel, I might add. But here's the deal...

One of the announcers has decided he needs a catch phrase. And his catch phrase of choice? "Holla!" Right. Like, "Holler!" only he's saying "Hallah!" And awkwardly, too.

I am familiar with the phrase "Holla" (thanks to Laura D.), but it's not a phrase a I use. I am still stuck "Jinkies!" and "Groovy."

Anyhoo, this commentator will be cruising along in his usual sports announcer baritone, you know: And the Spurs beat the Heat by 15. And then he decides to interject his new phrase. Sort of, just tacking it on at the end. And all I can say is "Holla!"

I don't know. it sort of leaves me feeling sort of hollow and embarassed for the guy.

or: Quentin scores again, and the audience says "Holla!"

It's making me very uncomfortable for some reason.

Monday, January 10, 2005

And jusy FYI:

It sounds like Kevin Spacey is playing Lex Luthor in the upcoming Superman film. I'd love to know what the script is like, and if this is Hackman Lex (not really one from the comics), seemingly benevolent (but secretly evil) tycoon Lex, crazy green armor Lex, gray prison suit scientific mastermind Lex, or funky pink and green power-suit Lex.

Man, so many options. And even more confusing... will Lex have hair? Both Hackman and John Shea had hair as Lex... but Spacey seems like the kind of cat who wouldn't have any trouble shaving his head for a good role.

Personally, I'd love to see the green power armor, but that's just me.

And they've cast Lois. No idea who this Kate Bosworth person is, but she's Lois, I guess.

I'll be honest, I was hoping for older casting for Superman and Lois, but I assume the story will carry it all off fine.

When I hear their casting for Mxyzptlk, I'll start getting really excited.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

So, it's most likely to be a slow week here at The League. Back at the employer, I am working on a critically fucked project that is spinning more and more wildly out of control. This means I am expecting to be pre-occupied and a bit busy.

I am happily passing off the keys to my co-contributor until it becomes less likely I am going to be fired.

Here's the moral of the lesson: When you are asked to manage a project in a way which you know is absolutely incorrect and wrong, put up more of a fight. More than a year later, you're going to be looking abject failure in the face and watching any career or professional reputation you ever had melt away before your eyes.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta

It's been a while since I read V, but it really is one of comic scribe Alan Moore's most interesting comics.

Past Alan Moore adaptations have mostly missed the boat as to why the comics worked. From Hell managed to go from being a colossal character driven conspiracy and period-piece to a workmanlike serial killer "whodunit". And try as I might, I can't get past the awfulness of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as a movie. My dislike of the movie goes well beyond the distaste of the adaptation. I just think it's a bad movie.

While I think the timing would have been better two years ago for a V for Vendetta movie, it's really never too late. And while I am a bit confused why they aren't going for an all brit cast for the movie, I think the Wachowski brothers will probably be willing to put the necessary time and effort into the script and process in order to create a decent adaptation. The problem will be when the studio realizes they're making a movie supporting anarchy.

And how to cast a character who never, ever shows his/her face? I dunno.

Anyway, if all goes well, we'll all be blowing up Parliament in 2006.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Top Ten Things Which Were Supposed to be Important but failed to ping on my personal radar in 2004

I'm not saying I didn't notice these items at all, but these seemed to be items of some importance to people in the press and media in 2004. For good or for ill, The League sort of shrugged its chubby shoulders and said, "eh"...

10) Mike Nichols' "Closer"
9) Lindsay Lohann (I still have no idea who she is, but her father keeps landing in the pokey)
8) Boston Winning the World Series
7) NASCAR dads
6) The Apprentice
5) Music in general
4) The mounting mine field of dog poop in my back yard
3) Red states and blue states (I didn't know which was which until right up to the election)
2) the pain and suffering of others
1) bloggers

and a special honorable mention goes to ABC's Desperate Housewives, which I predict will be cancelled by the end of it's 2nd season once the novelty wears off.

I guess the question now is, what got a lot of hoopla but was unimportant to Loyal Leaguers in 2004?
Los libros cómicos pueden ser útiles

And you guys thought comics had nothing to offer!




Ah, hell... this is Arizona. These people don't know how lucky they were.

Utah fans get TASERED!!!!

In Texas, they execute as many folks as they can strap into the electric chair. But here in Arizona, the policy was just to kill them so they didn't need to mess with an expensive trial and all that justice broo-haha.

A while back they introduced the Taser to cops, and, damn... do they ever love tazing people. Somebody is always getting tasered. It's great fun.
Before I forget, Steven "Gee..." Harms has taken my irritation of McDonald's advertising and taken it up an RTF Criticism of Mass Media notch. I think it makes for an interesting read, and not just because I get a mad shout out.

Steven discusses a different McDonald's commercial, and it's aired for two or three weeks, so you've most likely seen it. I know I have.

Anyway, read some Steven "Gee..." Harms.

Madi H. might want to check this one out as she also plunged into the swirling depths of McDonald's advertising and racial stereotyping.
Frank Miller doing Batman & Robin for DC Comics... with pencils by Jim Lee. Brain. Melting.....

When DC makes an official announcement regarding the release and launch date of DC All-Stars, I'll post. This, Loyal Leaguers, is when you want to be thinking about picking up DC Comics.

The other folks involved include Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely on All-Star Superman.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Here's an interesting look at Superman's Pal: Jimmy Olsen

Thanks to Shoemaker, The League's Pal who is also always getting himself into scrapes.
Eisner dead at 87.

Will Eisner, one of American comics' greatest creators, is dead at the age of 87. Eisner is one of the great innovators in the medium of graphic storytelling, transforming both the style and substance of the American comic book in his career spanning the last 70 years.

Eisner's most famous creation was, no doubt, The Saint. His later work was both personal and universal, relating tales of life in depression-era New York.

His influence is so widely recognized that DC Comics maintains a completely separate imprint for Eisner's work under "The Eisner Library", and the most prestigious awards in comics are called "The Eisners".

I invite you read the full biography of Eisner at Newsarama.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Top 10

So, 2004 ended a few days ago. Where the hell are the Top 10 of 2004 lists? Seriously! Last year it was blog after blog Top 10'ing something.

So, here are the League's Top 10 of 2004 in no particular context.

10) New pants
9) Jim Lee on Superman
8) SpaceShip One
7) Spider-Man 2
6) The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt
5) Jeff the Cat
4) Loyal Leaguers
3) Justice League Unlimited
2) Melbotis
1) Jamie
Bananas



We welcome Mel's new friend to League HQ. This is is Mel's new friend, Bananas. Bananas is a toy given to Mel for Christmas by Jamie's folks.

Bananas is a yellow monkey. He is outfitted with a noisemaker inside. When he is squeezed, he goes "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

It is very charming.

Mel loves to squeeze Bananas. This means that Bananas often gets to make noises.

Here is another picture Mel with Bananas.



Mel's great love of Bananas will pretty much doom the little monkey. Mel's last friend, Boo-Boo, now exists as two separate blue shreds Mel carries around the house.

Let us enjoy Bananas while we all can.

The latest death toll accorded to the tsunami is at 155,000. The number is absolutely staggering and I am certain it will rise in the days and months ahead as victims fall ill and some no longer have the strength to hang on. This is not to mention the years of rebuilding and social upheaval which will almost surely take place in the wake of the event, nor the economic issues and issues with rebuilding.

A planet away and shielded from the disaster, it's impossible to take it all in.

I was working on Wednesday with a pair of student workers who happen to be from India and happen to be siblings. I asked the older one, the sister, if any of her family was near any of the areas hit. She assured me they were not, and that her family was fine. Her brother (the baby of the family, I have come to believe) looked at me.

"What are you talking about?"
"What?"
"Who died?" he asked.
"You really don't know..?"
"Know what?"
I looked at Surbhi, trying to figure out what I should say. She looked spooked, scared.
"How does he not know?" I asked.
"I don't know." And please, she didn't have to say, don't tell him.
For good or for ill, our coversation was broken up at that moment as someone else walked intot he room, but I still couldn't figure out why he didn't know, and why he wasn't supposed to know. It had been four days.

"So," my friend said to me on the phone today. He was driving back from a family cabin in New Mexico, having been out of cell phone range, having no TV, no link to the outside world. "I got here Sunday and they were saying 12,000 people."
"No," I said. "It's way worse than that."
"What is it-"
"The count was 140,000 last I checked."
"Oh..."
"Yeah."

And the funny thing is the way the press has been so damn slow to deal with the whole mess. The sketchiness of details is almost understandable given that communication and roads are severely damaged. But you have to guess that virtually every non-US news organization was better equipped to handle the events than US news outlets. If its not a Hollywood report or taking dictation from a press office, US journalists tend to get a bit weak in the knees. And given the US's usual level of interest in matters outside our borders (not to mention utter ignorance of geography and history, myself included) our news outlets tend to reflect that mode of thinking.

So a few days after the tsunami (which they weren't covering in great detail the first day out, if you recall...) CNN had up a big feature on a swim suit model and how this mess had affected her. "Bring it home," goes the mantra, "in a way people can understand." So use that Hollywood reporting/ morning show blather and somehow try to piece together a news story because we've forgotten how to collect facts and report them. And Americans have shown again and again how they don't liek to see poor people from overseas.

It took a few days, but they got their act together. The reporters in the field are using their "very important reporter" voice, but at least they seem to be trying. Although I've seen conflicting reports and details still seem sketchy, the local and the American press quit trying to find someone locally who has been affected by the tsunami. They seem to be trying to say "who, what, where, when and why" without trying to find something funny to say at the end of the report.

I remember that on September 12th, 2001. Stuck in a Las Vegas hotel room, watching Peter Jennings finally take a break and giving over the reigns to the local boys for what seemed to be the first time in 24 hours... and learning how the September 11th (not yet dubbed September 11th... no name yet for the horror then) was reverberating across America's Playground. But then, you were kind of left knowing goddamned nothing else was going to seem to matter a lot, so you were going to need to find a local angle on this atrocity, so it was probably best to dump the piece on the cat show.

So maybe tomorrow and the next day will be better. I certainly hope so. I hope that we don't lose interest completely in the next week. Our $35 million is only going to take us so far.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Saw Scorcese's latest flick, The Aviator. Pretty good movie. Luckily for us the audience was there to help us out, because otherwise we might have misinterpreted the movie. See, I thought it was a movie about a guy struggling with mental illness and still achieving great feats in the field of aviation.

Nope. It's a movie about how crazy people are funny! Thank you, Glibert WTC audience. You are there to help me. Oh, and it's totally appropriate to bring your very young children to a Scorcese movie. Especially a 3 hour drama. I must remember to do this.

Honestly, this has become a pretty major part of why I only go see action movies and comedies in the theater anymore. Either the action movies are loud enough to cover the sounds around me, or else straightforward enough that the audience can follow the plot. Same with comedies. That, and the fact that I can hear the music and explosions from the adjacent theater during any quiet scenes in dramas.

Ah, well. That's what the magic of home video is all about, I guess.

On the plus side, they did show the trailer for Frank Miller's Sin City, and, damn, if that didn't look exactly like a Frank Miller comic brought to life. Looking forward to that one.

They also showed a teaser trailer for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No idea if it will be any good. All I know is that I was the only person who laughed out loud in the theater when the words "Don't Panic" appeared on the screen. I am such a nerd.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

TEXAS WINS!!!!

GOD BLESS DUSTY MANGUM!!!!!
Heppy New Year, Leaguers!

It's a whole new year. Which means that, once more, our planet has succesfully completed a revolution around El Sol. Goody.

I'm not overly sentimental about New Years. After all, unless you have a party to go to, it's pretty much a night to watch some 2nd tier programming and a day to clean up your Christmas stuff which might still be sitting out.

What will I do differently in 2005? Nothing. 2004 went fairly well. I hope to complete my taxes a hair earlier, but with my class going on, I'm not holding my breath. I also hope to manage my money a lot better. This may mean (shudder) reducing the number of comics and comic related merchandise I buy. Or else making a lot more money. Unfortunately, my boss doesn't like me a whole lot, so I am not holding out for a banner salary year in 2005.

I hope you all had a good New Years and I hope you have good luck remembering to write "05" at the end of the date.

Currently, UT is down 21-31. I have no faith is Greg Davis's ability to mastermind his way out of this one.

Ah, well. At least we made it to a decent bowl game this year.

Anyhoo, I can still wish all of you a happy, healthy 2005! Let's all try a little harder to make the world a better place this year than last.

Friday, December 31, 2004



Randy is taking exception to the fact that I compared him to McDonald Land's own lovable goof, Grimace. Apparently he took it as a literal, physical representation. Which, of course, it was not meant to be. (Following Randy's logic, I think I look like ROnald McDonald, Jim looks like The Hamburglar, and my wife looks like a mophead with eyes and stork legs)

"Dude," Randy complains, "You just called me a big , fat purple thing."

So now I leave it to the readers to decide...

Does Randy resemble Grimace? Physically? Personality wise?

Personally, I think they both have warm, endearing googly eyes.


Subject A


Subject B

Thursday, December 30, 2004

So my new favorite commercial is a Rawlings basketball commercial. You'll know it when you see it.

My new least favorite commercial is the commercial for the "Big & Tasty" burger from McDonald's dollar menu. Not only is it a paean to a really crappy piece of food, and has the sort of hyperbolic voice over that make sme want to choke the creative team behind the commercial, but the dude at the end of the commercial doesn't even deliver his line well.

Pre-dating the "SuperSize Me" brou-haha, and the lawsuit where the fat kids tried to sue McDonalds, books were coming out basically trying to make you run screaming from your local McDonalds. An image problem to be sure. With some minor menu changes and a new, hip spin on a nasty, old product, McDonalds decided "I'm Lovin' It!" would be rapped, sung and generally forced into the stickier crevices in the back of your mind.

McDonalds advertising is really at its best when they throw Ronald (Me) into a commercial with Grimace (Randy). Ronald and Grimace do something stupid and then chase around the Hamburglar (who is, in more ways than I can count, exactly like Jim D). It's a simple formula. It reminds you of McDonalds as a name, makes their product sort of fun, and appeals across a wide audience. (Actually, I used to think those Fry Guys [Jamie] were hilarious).

The commercials starring actual people appearing to be happy at McDonalds have never worked out quite as well.

The "I'm Lovin' It" campaign has done more to steer League HQ away from McDonalds than any five anti-McDonalds documentaries could dream of doing. Simply, I am not lovin' it. I am trying to get a coke and fries because you're the only fast place to get a bit between home and work. Unless I want Del Taco. And, no, I don't want Del Taco, either.

There's nothing hip about pre-cooked/ microwaved burgers. There's nothing emotionally gratifying about eating at McDonalds. it's simply something to feel vaguely guilty about.

The Big & Tasty Burger costs a mere $1.00. Which, in this land of $8.00 cheeseburgers, is a hard thing to look away from. Of course, most likely, The Big & Tasty tastes like it costs a dollar, and we have to remember it's all about volume sales with McDonalds. THus, the dollar menu.

But that doesn't stop the subject of our commercial, who is sitting alone in a McDonalds, from waxing rhapsodic upon the topic of his Big & Tasty (which may be my new name for Jason, btw). He compares the burger to the Pyramids, the wonders of Rome, on and on about how amazing a $0.05 bun, a scrap of lettuce, a wiggly tomato slice and a microwaved hunk of beek really are.

I think he then says something out loud to his burger (the gushing praise arriving in VO), like "how do they do it?"

Our burger loving hero (who has his eyes locked upon his burger as if, maybe, he will soon make sweet, sweet love to the burger) is revealed to not be alone! Rather, he is with Stock Player #372 from the WB's central casting. Stock Player #372 is the now popular chubby, curly haired, goateed slacker made popular in ads for FedEx and Fritos.

Our Burger Fool is woken from his reverie by Stock Player #372, and the hilarious (I mean HIGH-LARIOUS!) line, "Dude, you're talking to your burger."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Oh, man. Just sit back and let that one soak in. "Dude, you're talking to your burger." As if... ha ha... as if the burger can, you know, HEAR HIM!!!! Where do they come up with this stuff? No wonder I could never make it in advertising. Crap, that's funny.

The line delivery by #372 is the interesting part. With only 6 words to deliver in about two seconds, #372 makes the most of it. Instead of being just another actor delivering his lines in a believable fashion so as to convey some semblance of reality, #372 decides to tackle the line as if he actually doesn't understand what he's saying, or, perhaps, as if he's been kicked in the head mutliple times by a horse.

"Dude," he says, sort of slapping his friend's arm, trying to bring him back to reality. "You're talking to your burger." The burger isn't going to respond, man! it can't hear YOU!!! Don't talk to the burger!

Never before has a more wooden performance displaying such a stunning lack of talent been seen in a mere two seconds. Normally I'd love this, but at this point, McDonald's advertising just depresses me. This is yet another in a long line of cheerless McDonald's commercials formulated to joylessly appeal to a demographic which is pretty much a gimme if you're a teen-ager living in suburban sprawl, anyway.

Now, talent or no, #372 is going to make a boatload of cash for being in a nationally televised spot that runs all the time. Them's the rules with SAG. And you have to like that.

It is The League's suggestion to #372 that he spend his money one of two ways:

1) Paying back his parents for any money they have spent allowing him to be trained as an actor.

2) Tuition for college so #372 can select a new career more suitable to his skills. Such as, I dunno, not being on my TV anymore.

Soon the commercial will be little more than a memory, but may the dream of #372 and his poor line delivery live on.

God bless us every one.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

A Hinojosa New Years

So, a two fold interactive post here.

1) What are you doing for New Years?
2) What should Madi do to bring in 2005?

Indeed.

Last year Jamie and I did two things for New Years. We did a) Jack and b) shit.

1) I suspect this New Years will be more of the same.

2) I think Madi should go to Jason Steans' Rockin' New Years Eve. If, Jason is, in fact, having a Rockin' New Years Eve.

I strongly suspect no New Years will ever top that of 99'-2000 in my book. Best New Years, ever. And I have Pat Sanchez to thank. Sorry about your floor, Pat. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apple has stepped up to the plate and has offered a a central location where you can make donations for diaster relief.

Apple.com

Thanks to Doug for the link.
Just a head's up. There's not much folks like myself can do for the tsunami victims across the Indian Ocean. But, if you have a few dollars left after Christmas, now might be a good time to consider visiting Amazon.com. They've set up a donation site on their front page.

Red Cross, Red Crescent and UN Relief folks are in motion, but with death tolls at 80,000 and climbing, these areas will need more support than that which governments are going to have tucked away for just such a disaster.

Please take some time and visit a site such as the Red Cross site or Amazon.com.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

The Joys of Cat Ownership V (with Apologies to RHPT.com):

Why Jeff the Cat does not go for walks on a leash...
huh
Just an interesting item in the name of being fair and square:

American Airlines sent me a lengthy letter, which, I might add, was not a curt dismissal of my concerns. Unfortunately, they also had this attached:

This email message and its contents are copyrighted and are proprietary
products of American Airlines, Inc. Any unauthorized use, reproduction, or
transfer of this message or its contents, in any medium, is strictly prohibited.


So I cannot copy and paste the e-mail into the blog.

I have to say, while I am still not happy with my travel experience, I am impressed somebody out there took the time to write a letter which actually responded to my complaints and questions in detail.

A small part of me wonders if they knew about my lengthy rant from earlier this week here in these pages. But that's probably just me patting myself on the back rather than accepting that AA might have excellent customer relations staff.

*** UPDATE ***

And get this! AA sent us a TRANSPORTATION VOUCHER!!!! I didn't even notice that as I skimmed the letter the first time. Jamie just called me to talk about it, and I was like: Wha...?

So, anyway, that's an additional few points for AA!
a post Holiday read from The Onion.
What did YOU get from Santor?

Lee T. has written in and suggested that everyone send in their strangest Christmas present. He kicked it off this way:

The League should administer a contest to determine the strangest Christmas present received this year.

As for me, I received a shirt which actually claims on the label and accompanying product tags...to repel bugs. A bug repellant shirt. Yep. That's me.


Sounds like the work of one Jacob Q. Thweatt, but I can't be sure.

Doug counters (also relating the fate of a former gift to The League):

Doug was visited by Santor... in a big way. He received a copy of League favorite "Garfield" on DVD, and another DVD set... which is too horrible to mention.

Ho ho nooooooooooooooooo!


Doug collects bad movies, and surely Garfield will be a crowning jewel in his collection. (Doug is also proud owner of both R.O.T.O.R. and Nukie).

So, what did you get from Santor this year?


Sunday, December 26, 2004

..And we're back.

Thanks to Judy and Dick for yet another fabulous Christmas in sensational Lawton, Oklahoma (home of Lawton High Wolverines!). Jamie and I had a great time and it was all-around Christmassy.

Our first day in Lawton, the ground had a thin layer of snow so we suited up and went out to chuck hunks of snow and ice at each other. Judy (The Shark) McBride now has a pool table, and we spent a good amount of time around the table. I am no good at pool, and I demonstrated this numerous times throughout the weekend.

We had a very nice Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Eve night was spent touring Lawton, OK and checking out the sights and lights. Christmas morning was great, and I have to say that I did, in fact, rake in a great deal of Christmas Loot. I got a few books, a kick-ass DVD collection I'd been eyeing, and a great game from Doug (I cannot repeat the name here as it is French and I am sure to misspell it).

Followed that up with an adventurous viewing of Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events (the audience habits of the patrons of the Lawton Mall need some work).

Now, all of that was the fun part. The troublesome part came into play during our travels. As you might know, the major airlines have been having some financial difficulties tied to fuel costs, security costs, etc... and I would propose that many of our problems stem from a cutback of resources at the sub-management level (always first to go, but usually more needed than the pencil pushers.).

Firstly, a week before our departure I received an e-mail informing me that my flight had been cancelled and we were rebooked for a flight two hours later. I called in to see what the story was and was told it was due to a faulty aircraft. I did not then, nor do I now believe this was true. The airlines did their usual thing and cancelled flights which were not booked solid. I noted that our connecting flight was only 45 minutes after our new flight time, and I suggested that I change my second flight's departure time to a later time.

I was assured that we would be able to connect (American insists that 35 minutes is enough time to connect between two domestic flights). I asked what would happen if we were late (given that Expedia was stating the flight we were taking was only 60% on time). They were willing to change my connecting flight to a later flight.

Anyhoo...

1) Our flight from Phoenix to Dallas was about 45 minutes late arriving (despite perfect flying conditions leaving Phoenix)
2) Being rudely told by the clerk at the desk in Dallas that incidents of Easter 2003 could not have occurred when I made an inquiry to avoid a similar situation.
3) Our flight being delayed from 4:15 to 5:00.
4) Having to change gates.
5) Our 5:00 being changed to 5:35
6) Our 5:35 being cancelled with no explanation
7) The new clerk being unaware of our cancellation and having to leave the desk twice to don coat and go outside to deal with some situation
8) Our new 6:15 flight being bumped to 7:00
9) Our 7:00 being bumped to 7:35
10) Changing gates a total of no less than 8 more times (I do begin to exaggerate. We lost track). We changed gates at least every twenty minutes until they quit posting a gate around 7:00.
11) Being told at 7:35 that we had a plane, but no crew
12) Our flight falling off the boards with no explanation at 7:40.
13) multiple people from our flight being told different stories regarding our situation, none of which seemed to really match up.
14) actually witnessing people in line being yelled at by clerks for just asking when we were leaving
15) Finally getting a crew and then being chastised for not already being on the plane by the desk crew
16) Sitting at the gate for about 30 minutes once on board
17) waiting for about 45 minutes to be de-iced

Well, that was nice. I hate American Eagle and it will be a long, long time before I fly them again. I was feeling pretty bad until I heard a story about a family friend who was caught in the Delta Airlines computer crash. He was stranded in the Cincincatti airport for two entire days before being picked up and returned home without ever making it to Houston.

On our way home, I pinged off the security system in multiple ways. My watch (in my backpack) was believed to be a bomb. My wallet had a security swipe card which set it off, and something else pinged it, too... but I cannot remember what it was.

We left Lawton more or less on time. In Dallas (with 45 degree weather and clear skies) we were delayed for more than an hour from departure.

On board, we learned some chip in the instrument panel wasn't working, so we had to sit on the airplane for an hour while the diagnosed and then repaired the problem. Eventually we did get to leave.

On the ground in Phoenix, we reached our gate to learn the skyramp was broken down and we could not deplane (this isn't to mention the douchebag who GOT UP AND WAS WALKING AROUND WHILE WE WERE TAXIING. I was convinced that they were actually delaying until they could get a cop to arrest the moron when he stepped off the plane. The fact that this jerk wasn't arrested is not a mark in the plus column in my mind.). We had to sit on the plane for an additional twenty or more minutes while they located a truck to move the plane. No stair-car. No roll-away stairs.

We spent more than four hours on a plane for a 1 hour 45 minute flight. Not to mention the people who were going to be late who needed to use that plane next.

Ugh.

Anyway, that was frustrating. Don't fly American for a while, not until they hire enough people to run their damn airline, anyway. What a nightmare.

I could write a letter, but the past two letters I wrote to American ended with a form letter non-apology declaring taking their airline to be a crapshoot at best. So, suck it, American Airlines. I don't need to write you, I just need to tell every single person how incompetent you are and that America West and Southwest never do this shit.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

A Holiday Apology...

I have to apologize to Loyal Leaguers everywhere. Despite many creative and entertaining entries, The League was unable to get it's act together and get a nice photo for the Holidays.

A few things conspired against me:

1) A lack of time.
2) A lack of a photographer in order to get both Jamie and myself into the photo.
3) The amazing array of props, locations, etc... that Leaguers suggested. I am not certain what makes people think I can just get a police officer or patrol car at any moment, but, despite my wishes to the contrary, I cannot merely summon the police without someone from league HQ ending up in the pokey.

Anyhow, I have failed you. I feel pretty bad about that. But not too bad. And I also wish to point out that I think Jamie was relieved she would not need to get into costume for any photos.

But I still wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas, a Positive Post-Hannukah, a Krazy Kwanzaa, or whatever.

We're winging eastward toward Lawton, OK in fairly short order, so The League is going on hiatus until the end of the month. Not that I think you'll take time out during Christmas to check in, but... you know... thought I'd let you know you're not going to miss anything.

So until I post again... Travel safely, eat well, enjoy the family and friends around you, and try to take a moment to remember what it's all about.

My Christmas Wish is the same this year as it has been every year. I wish that next year is better than this year, and that health and happiness prevail.

Merry Christmas, Leaguers. And thanks for hanging around! Jamie and I wish you the best!



Peace on Earth, and goodwill to all from The League of Melbotis.

The trailer is now up for Frank Miller's Sin City.

Wow.

Monday, December 20, 2004

THE CHRISTMASSY TALE OF SANTOR
as told to The League


You may know the tale of Santa Claus (aka Saint Nick, St. Nicholas, The Jolly Old Elf, Kris Kringle, Creepy Guy at Mall). But do you know the tale of Santor? And how he came to be? Do you know it at all... ?

'Twas long, long ago, on a day not too much different from today (imagine if you can), in a place not so very different from the very one you're in, that the tale of Santor began.

He was a kindly person, a merry person, the kind of fellow who would spread joy and cheer... not just on Christmas Day, but all throughout the year.

So Merry was our fellow, that folks called him "The Christmas Elf."
He so liked the name, and he adopted it himself.

Now this Christmas Elf, it can be said he lived alone
In a two bedroom condo with a facade of faux stone.
Though alone he would sit as Christmas rolled around,
he'd cross his fingers, for an invitation to Christmas dinner might yet be found.

But despite the Elf's boyish charm, the bells upon his toes, and the sweaters of green and red,
Each Christmas Eve he would find himself alone, and wishing he were dead.

And then one year as Christmas came rolling 'round once more,
the Christmas Elf's coworkers knew not what was in store.

"'Tis Christmas," cried the Elf, "And each year I make the season merry for you folks.
I light up my cube, sing you all carols, and make egg nog with no yolks."

"I dress up in the right colors, I made my Windstar into a sleigh.
I make cookies with Splenda, and give a few dollars to The United Way."

"I've never asked for anything, despite the personalized cards and the presents I sent.
Even for Ol' Johnny in receiving, who tells me to 'get bent.'"

"You each know my folks won't talk to me, and I've got not a friend in this bunch.
But this year for Christmas, can I please come to dinner? Or to breakfast or to lunch?"

"I don't take up much space, I eat light, and I'll pack my own food.
I'll clean up the dishes. I'll take out the trash and I just won't be rude."

His officemates stared and then turned their eyes in deep thought.
Their sympathy was clear, and he knew he'd done as he 'ought.

They looked to him together. With the invitation coming, he now felt quite dizzy.
"Christmas Elf, Ol' Chum" they said. "It's not that we don't what you there. It's simply, we're too busy."

So The Elf slunk home, just the thought of Christmas made him dejected and forlorn.
Nothing could console him, not even his mountainous stack of Christmas-themed porn.

And the doorbell rang, it rang out quite clear. He rushed to the door to see who it could be.
'Twas the mailman, with a box! "Is it," said the elf, unbelieving, "is it a present for me?"

The mailman handed over the package, his eyes tired and weary.
"Sign here," said the Mailman. But he was not at all cheery.

The return address was from the office. Reconciliation for leaving him in the cold!
No matter the trifle, he said aloud to himself, I'll treat this as gold!

As he opened the package, and finding bright paper beneath, he felt rejuvenated, his spirits were lifted!
But then, below, he saw it was the coffee package he'd sent them all last year which the sender had merely re-gifted.

"Screw it!" cried the Elf! "I foresake this day! I try and try, and they don't care!
I think I know what I'll do! I'll be their Christmas nightmare!"

"Each year with each gift, I'll keep it around!
Shrink wrap unbroken and bindings still bound!"

"I'll send the gift to someone else or resend to the sender!
Be it summer sausage, a playstation, a stapler or blender!"

"I'll be their St. Nick, and their annoying gift granter!
But I shall not be Santa! I shall become Santor!"

And they found his condo empty, the coffee package spilled to the floor.
The tree was tipped over, and the lights blinked no more.

And when the cops looked around (for the elf had disappeared)
they saw in red and green a message was smeared:

"Merry Christmas, you bastards! Hope you like re-gifted junk!
I'm your new gift giver, free of this Holiday Bunk!"

"I've had it with you people, and that's not just the booze speaking!
I've devised a plan to give Christmas a tweaking!"

"So on Christmas morning, when you're seeking presents under the tree,
you may get something oddly familiar or pre-opened, and you'll know it's from me!"

"Instead of new gifts, expect junk someone doesn't want any more!
Know that your gift came from Good Ol' Santor!"

And so it befalls us each time and each year
that we find a present we might think is queer.

It might be last year's coasters, or that beer drinking cap.
But be rest assured it's someone's old crap.

So look for the regifted, or the present which bores,
and know that it was sent from your good friend Santor.


SANTOR
Mrs. League here. The League is in the process of moving offices today, sans internet access, so that's why he's been quiet.

We had a good weekend. We had previously decided to do League HQ Christmas on Saturday, but Friday night as we sat by the Supertree the League saw me eyeing my present. Keep in mind, Leaguers, that Christmases past have seen the League snooping for his treasures and begging to open them ahead of time. This year the tables were turned. I knew what was waiting for me underneath the Spidey wrapping paper and was antsy with delight while the League was cool as a cucumber.

League: "You can open it"
M.League: "No - we said we were waiting until Saturday"
League: "You can ...(Spidey already being ripped apart)...open it..."

I got me a little blue iPod Mini, folks. I love it so. Brought it to work with me today even though I'm only up to the 'J's in copying my CDs over. I'm fear I'm going to be mighty sick of Blur in another week or so.

I got the League Star Wars Electronic Battleship as kind of an interim gift. His real present won't be here until January. Anyway, he seems to like it and it's fun to play, although I kind of miss getting to make the direct hit noises myself.

Saturday after making waffles and playing with our toys some more, 3/4 of the League (Jeff the Cat remained home on guard duty) headed outside for a wintery stroll (70 degrees with sunshine). For a change of scenery we took off towards the new subdivision to the east. We saw three different pools under construction - not fair! Our subdivision doesn't even have a name. Anyway, we soon found ourselves coming up to the fence of our nemesis the dairy farm. Because it was prior to feeding time, the cows had no ammo and it was safe to approach. And because it was prior to feeding time, we were greeted at the fence by close to 100 cows.

Melbotis the Brave bristled up a bit, but since the cows did not appear as threatening as small children he quickly calmed down. I wanted to pet them, but feared the wrath of Farmer Ted should he catch me touching Bessie. They were so cute. Almost enough to make me want to give up beef. Eh, who am I kidding? I love me a good steak.

Went to see Ocean's Twelve. Eh. It was okay and we laughed a bit, but I still liked the first one better. Julia Roberts is looking weird these days. Also had our annual holiday viewing of It's a Wonderful Life. "Merry Christmas movie house!"

Getting ready for our Christmas pilgrimage to Lawton, Oklahoma on Wednesday. It'll be a miracle if we actually make it on time. I don't trust American Airlines (more specifically puddle jumper American Eagle which will shuttle us into the Sooner State from Dallas). American 'Beagle' has bumped us from our flight a number of times and I'm starting to feel like Charlie Brown kicking the football, but they're the only carrier that flies into Lawton. Wish us luck.