Friday, March 11, 2005

So, quick informal discussion question.

Magneto: Republican, Democrat, Green Party, LaRouche Democrat, Bull Moose or Libertarian?


So Ally McBeal WAS underrated...!
FRIENDS OF THE LEAGUE AT SXSW

The League isn't going to be in Austin next week, but some of his chums are.

Here's a League checklist of events:

1) Phoenix based "Asleep in the Sea"

This is the band of my employee, Tom. Tom will be rocking the house.

Wednesday, March 16th at 10:00pm at THE HIDEOUT


2) Austin based "Milton Mapes".

One of the guys in Milton mapes married Mel's mother, Jenny. Anyways, it's a chance to see Jenny Perkins, right? Milton Mapes is actually very good. Go see them.

BIGSBY'S, Thursday March 17th.

3) on Sunday March 13th (4:00) and Tuesday March 15th (9:00) at The Hideout, some films Juan Diaz worked on will be shown.

"Playdate" and "Engineering Diversity". Go support Juan, you bastards.


Arden is already on his way to rock star status.
Awesome new career opportunity for The League:

I can't stress enough the importance of spell-check when you're setting up your fake company to try to bilk people out of their money.

Dear Sir / Madam ,

We would like to offer you a colaborator job at our company.

If you can take the time and read this offer please do so. We are a almost recent company based on E-commerce , mostly E-trade services , due to recent E-trade development all over the globe , companies like ours have become necesary for a safe and stress free trade over the WWW ( World Wide Web ). Our mission is to make sure that different transactions , between U.S. and European E-buyers and/or E-sellers , are on a safe spot. We propose to do this thru our "net" of colaborators that each have there own role in our clients transactions.

You are receiving this email from the Development Team of Colaborators Incorporated , this teams role is to hire new colaborators , expanding our colaborator network and taking care of their training.Another important job of the Development Team is to check our future colaborators and to constantly improve our means of hiring and verifying any appliers for the post of colaborator. For the moment our Development Team has created a expanding plan that includes 150 more work places as a colaborator in the U.S. and a 200 more work places as a colaborator in Europe. We will seriously consider any applier for this job due to the high amount of persons needed to fill the 150 places.

So , as a bottom line , if you are interested in making a pretty good profit per month , check our website at www.colabaratorsincorporated.com and see if you find yourself apropriate for this job.

Job Description :You will receive a job larger description if you choose to contact us. As a small description , the job requierements are too have or create a PayPal account, be at least 21 years old, and have the ability to connect to the internet at least 1 hour per day.

The colaborator team that founded this company back in 2003 had 10 people on board, since then the company grew 20 times larger and has successfully closed more than 100.000 transactions world wide.So , if you wish to join this great team please do not esithate.The salary is not fixed , you will receive a percent of each transaction that will be made through you.Job Requirements:Of course , as any job , this job has some requirements , not as many as other job , but still necesary in order to be hired by our company.

Here is the list of requirements:
1. Have a PayPal account and/or be able to create one.
2. To be at least 21 years old.
3. No criminal record.
4. To be able to connect to the internet at least 1 hour per day.

So , if you consider you fulfil the above requierements ,visit our website : www.colabaratorsincorporated.com and apply for this job today.

Thank you for your patience and God bless you.

Colaborators Incorporated ,Development Team Manager ,Karen F Campbell .
Colaborators Incorporated © March 2005

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Getting motivated with Spidey!

Marvel is no slouch of a company, and just like DC, they are not shy about plastering the face of Wolverine, the Hulk and Daredevil on just about any item you can imagine.

One sort of good idea is the new line of Marvel motivational posters (for kids, I assume).

These are real. You can check them out here.

Apparently someone in the licensing department flat out either never read a Punisher comic or has a somewhat skewed concept of motivation. Marvel has cancelled orders for the Punisher motivational poster. I am not making this up.

While we're on the subject, it might be pointed out to the higher-ups at Marvel that Wolverine, while universally popular, is pretty much a dude with a few knives who stabs people a lot. I mean, A LOT. More than occasionally, he kills whole castles full of ninjas. I'm just saying, is all...

And isn't Magneto a ruthless villain who kills lots of people...? Marvel's motivational posters are rife with moral ambiguity.

And, hey... isn't that Elektra: Assassin here to spread some motivational sunshine? What? What's that you have to say on "Excellence"?

"Excellence is reserved for those who, even when they fail, do so by doing greatly, so that their place shall never be among those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."


If you are considering raising your child in some sort of Ubermensch fantasy environment, Marvel has your tool kit.

Elektra's message is sort of like, "Try your best", with a twist of "Or your soul shall be condemned to the land of wind and ghosts..."

I tell you what. If I'd had this poster in elementary school, I certainly would have tried harder in the Spelling-Bee.

In the handy world of Photoshop, these are completely made-up. Unfortunately, these posters are probably only funny to geeks.
This is funny, but if you read it, you will go to hell. I am sorry. It's true.

So if you're looking for everlasting peace, do not click on this link.

Thanks to Doug, who is pretty much in trouble, for the link.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

For some reason, this made me think of Nathan Cone.

Thanks to Jamie for the link.

BTW, even after 5 years of marriage, you can still learn new things about your spouse.

Jamie is a huge fan of The Karate Kid.

Prior to Friday night, we had never sat down and watched the movie together, but Friday it was on when I was flipping channels before eating dinner, and Jamie began talking about upcoming scenes, began spitting out lines before they were delivered... in general, she did all the things you do only when you've seen a movie 2 dozen times.

I had not seen The Karate Kid from beginning to end in probably 19 years, but at some dark point in her life, Jamie was apparently watching this movie over and over and over.

Who knows what other secrets lurk in Jamie's shrouded past?

Monday, March 07, 2005

The League has... THE ACTOR'S NIGHTMARE

Back in the halcyon days of High School, I was a drama kid. And during that time, I frequently had Actor's Nightmare. Actor's Nightmare is an anxiety dream that manifests itself in the form of a play that you suddenly must perform in, but you don't know the script, you don't know the blocking, you don't know your lines, but, by gum, you've got to go onstage or the whole show falls apart... and, invariably in my place, it's a musical and I don't know the lyrics or choreography.

For some reason my Actor's Nightmare is ALWAYS a musical. I am sure this has some meaning.

Last night I dreamt Rob Eigenbrod (a name which will mean something only to Maxwell) coerced me into playing a Director in some dinner-theater performance of a modern-dress Phantom of the Opera, a musical which I have not seen. Previous musical outings I have not seen but had to perform in during my Actor's Nightmare include South Pacific.

I don't usually fall in for much in the way of dream symbology, but why Phatom of the Opera? Why a director? Why Rob Eigenbrod? Why WHY WHYWHYWHY???!!!!!!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

You probably haven't looked to notice, but you can't buy a comic book at the 7-11 anymore. Or at the Walgreens, or at grocery store.

I didn't START buying comics at comic shops, and I am sure that if you ask any comic fan cooling their heals in their late twenties or older, you'll find the same is true. We all started buying comics off newsracks in locations to which we had access.

I distinctly recall buying Uncanny X-Men #210 at the Chicago airport. I picked up #212 at Piggly Wiggly within biking distance of the old homestead. Each store and shop you went in to had a news stand of some sort, and I scoured the covers of the bent comics to see if anything struck my fancy.

I picked up Teen Titans this way, Transformers, Batman (I confess to not getting turned on to Superman until very late high school and early college, and then it was the movies, cartoons and Justice League comics). I recall a family road trip which took over a month during which the Death of Kraven storyline was criss-crossing over multiple Spider-Man titles. Each gas station, bookstore, etc... I was busily seeking out each issue, trying to keep up with a haunting, creepy story.

Every single trip to Skaggs Alpha-Beta was punctuated with my quick dash to check out the comics while my mom was in the check out line. The goal was to grab a new one, quick, before they finished tallying the groceries.

And we knew about Austin Books, down on North Lamar. It's still there, cleaned up, now a massive example of what a comic shop SHOULD be. But then it was a dingy hole of a shop, a place the mothers would drop us off and let us go root through long boxes in our endless search for back of X-Men and Batman.

But you had to ask for a ride to the shop, you know? It was way down on Lamar, and my mother (ever willing to humor her two geeky kids) was still only willing to go down there once every few months.

In the mid-90's, the business model changed. 1) Diamond Comic Distributors became a monopolistic titan, the only way comic companies (large and small) could get their comics out to market. 2) Someone on the magazine racks figured out that they could make more money selling a $7.00 copy of Maxim than a $2.00 copy of X-Men.

Comics also decided that, if they were to be taken seriously, they must abandon the news stands and be available only in bookstores, like respectable books, or in comic shops, like, uhmmm... Well, it was a place to go buy comics where the clerk wouldn't raise her eyebrows as your comic passed over the electric eye. "Aren't you a little old for the funny books, sweetie?"

The chilling effect on the comic book industry has been staggering.

Essentially, a generation of kids was told they were not welcome to get involved. Comics were a commodity available only in specialized shops, usually off the beaten path, and certainly not a place your average mom or dad was already travelling to pick up a newspaper and a Slurpee. And believe me, I've seen the horrified looks of the mothers when they walk into the shops... they eye the pictures of the mostly naked warrior girls, with ridiculous proportions, and why, exactly, would a mother think leaving her kid alone with cartoon porn seem like a good idea..?

Simply put, readers are drifting, and no new readers are replacing them. At one point, Action Comics sold around a million copies each time it published. The numbers today are around 36,000 each issue. That's horrible. That isn't the sign of a healthy industry which can sustain itself. Make fun of the Silver-Age all you want, but back then they were selling the heck out of comics at drug stores and news stands.

With movies like Spider-Man out there, and Spider-Man selling t-shirts, underwear, costumes, video games and every conceivable outlet for the Spider-Man logo... why weren't the publishers making sure the original product was at eye level for 8 year olds to pick up? Flooding the comic shops is selling to the choir. Hoping people who already love Spider-man will pick up Spider-Man is redundant.

But Marvel is learning. Marvel, who had led the charge at the turn of the millenium to ensure comics were an ADULT medium and drove teh market mostly into direct market resale, is now taking a step back in the face of ever dwindling sales. Marvel is going into Barnes and Noble, and Marvel is going into 7-11's all over again.

And while even your standard faire of Batman and the X-Men might need to drop a few profanities to make the world safe from over-anxious mothers again, it's fantastic for the industry as a whole.

Regarding the usual screams of disapproval from loser fanboys trying to ensure comics are only for them and not for kids... As always, Heidi says it all better than me...

According to Newsarama, the Marvel Adventures line will spearhead the move into the 7-11s. The line, aimed at younger readers, is not popular with comic book fans. Nor should it be -- it isn't aimed at them. The Millarworld thread I alluded to in a previous entry was largely given over to the usual argument over whether kids will read these books, whether kids read comics, etc etc etc. To which I can only say...

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, WILL YOU PEOPLE GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS?


So, start looking for comics as they pop up in magazine racks once again. Look for them at the grocery and at the airport. Hopefully DC and other companies will follow suit and the fate of comics will be taken out of the hands of fate as created by us geeks and put back into the world of kids discovering them for the first time.

Friday, March 04, 2005

because when it comes to being low of brow, the League is not shy about going Caveman.



Where is the Comics Code Authority when you need them?
Happy B-Day, Mum

By the way, today is my mother's birthday. My mother never visits this website, so I probably shouldn't bother even putting any post up, but she's my mum, and it's worth mentioning her b-day.

Happy B-Day, Mum.


Although he believes in truth and justice, Superman is not above getting a little petty about getting kick-ass presents on birthdays. Perhaps this is the "American Way" bit.
A Mrs. League Ocean Friends Update

(Last one, I PROMISE)

Bubba lives on!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

A Sad Mrs. League Ocean Friends Update

Leaguers, I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong.

Poor Bubba

Farewell Mr. Pinchy...
A Birthday for Jason.

So, Leaguers, my brother turns 32 years young on March 17th.

As a child it drove me nuts that not only was he two years older, he was two years and one month older than me. I had a whole MONTH to sit around and be grouchy as he had already had a birthday party and I had not yet had a party of my own.

These days, the month gives me a good amount of time to point and laugh at Steanso for being so much older than me. Why, when he's 32, I'll still be in my twenties for just under a month.

(Shit. I'm turning 30...)

I need to get him something for his birthday, and for most of my life, this has been fairly easy. I walk into his room/ apartment/ house and see what he is lacking, and then make a best guess from there. Now, however, he's got an income and I can no longer easily pick out that which he is missing as I live 1000 miles away.

So what do I get him? Leaguers, it's up to you to make suggestions because I simply do not know.


I have it on good authority that Jason would love this model of the Key to the Fortress of Solitude...

Sadly, after going to the dentist yesterday, what I will need for my birthday is cash to cover the deductible for the work they're going to do. Stupid dentist.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Super Friends meets Office Space.

Not office friendly.

Thanks to Justin Cone for the link.

Oh, and, Jason.... the link works, you might have to actually download Quicktime.

And, as long as I have your attention, what do you want for your birthday? Your Amazon Wish List is like 5 years old.
A Mrs. League Ocean Friends Update

BUBBA!

Bubba is a 22 lb lobster who was saved from boiling water by the owner of a fish market. They estimate that since it takes 5-7 years for a lobster to grow a pound, Bubba might be 100 years old!

The real reason I posted this article comes about halfway down the page. Now, I love animals and all and consider myself to be pretty left leaning but one group I find to sometimes go above and beyond good intentions is PETA. Of course PETA wanted Bubba to be released into the oceans instead of headed to the Ripley's believe it or not museum (where he is indeed headed). Now, to me, if "Mr. Pinchy" is 100 years old, this crusty crustacean has probably had his fill of frolicking under the sea. Why not let him get out and see the world?

At least he should be safe from People for Eating Tasty Animals, who apparently have offered up $350 for him.
Couple of bits and pieces

1) We had to move the laptop off of the couch and out of the living room where it usually sits. The laptop usually sits there as the oracle for League HQ. Jamie and I frequently get into disputes over minor things, such as: Was Ladder 49 a financially successful movie at the box office? I say: No. Jamie says: Yes. She then can get online and pull up the actual box office receipts and mock me for my lack of Hollywood insider-ship.

Unfortunately in our house, the Oracle is necessary to keep disputes from running on for hours. However, Lucy took an interest in the power cord to the computer, and so we quickly moved it to a minimum safe distance and into the bedroom. And as I usually write at night after Jamie goes to sleep, I keep forgetting to grab the laptop before she dozes off. So, I've been neglectful in my posting duties.

2) Lucy is already sleeping soundly in her cage at night. Last night she managed to put up a minimum of fuss when it was bedtime. I sort of plopped her in the kennel, and she just watched me shut down the house. It was very sweet.

So, bottom line, no more howling puppies at 3:30am. The trick now is to make sure Lucy uses the dry pads I put in her kennel during the night. They're sort of like flat diapers and soak up quite a big of puppy pee.

I am unsure of how people with actual children cope. Perhaps, should a child ever enter into the League's picture, we will still have the kennel on hand and can train the baby that way. I aint' gettin' up at 3:00am for no cryin' baby.

3) We did not get Lucy specifically for Mel. I am unsure of how this rumor began. That said, Leaguers, dogs are pack animals, and I've always felt guilty that Mel was alone so much of the day. This meant all he did during most days was lay in the sun and sleep, which is not great for him either mentally or physically. That, and Jamie and I were more or less his only form of entertainment, which isn't always a good match when you're at work most of the day. So, yes, now he has a buddy.

Mel and Lucy are already an interesting pairing. She's taken to chewing on his head, and he's taken to enjoying it. Actually, I'm not sure that allowing her to chew on his head is always his repsonse. This morning I watched Mel wrestling with Lucy in the yard before I left. He is reminding her he outweighs her at least 6-to-1. But they both seem pretty happy with one another.

4) All-in-all, everything else is quiet on the home front. I have to mail my Mom's birthday present this morning as her birthday is on Friday. I am sure Jason remembered to buy her a present or at least sent a card.

Monday, February 28, 2005

heh heh heh heh heh heh heh

just keep in mind... this show is intended for small children. But that doesn't mean The LEague won't tune in.

Preview for Krypto... THE SUPERDOG!!!!
Hi all.

People seem more interested in the lighting conditions of my backyard and the fact that I am wearing a hat than they seem interested in the actual puppy. But, it is, after all, a puppy, and what are you going to say about that?



Mel looks on as Lucy tries to escape

Note, the lighting conditions are better. Taking photos in Arizona is tough as light is always white and harsh, and our backyard has two large trees which cut the light and drastically change where your f-stop should be.

Also in the photo is my magical weekend hat which caused such a ruckus. It is a Chicago Cubs hat. I am not a baseball fan, but I do like watching The Cubbies. The hat grants me the magical ability of not being able to grab the pennant.

Last night and the nigth before Jamie and I went to bed super early in an attempt to get the pets to go to bed early. I think last night went better regarding Lucy's yipping in her kennel. Jamie did not agree. But it is safe to say that The League slept like a log between yipping sessions.

To answer Randy's questions: No, The League is still The League of Melbotis. Lucy will not be asked to lend her name to the blog's title. At the end of the day, it's all about Mel.

Mel is getting along swimmingly with the puppy. He seems fine when the two of them have been left alone, and already i've caught them lying about together in the sunlight. Once Lucy calms down a bit and adjusts to her new home, I think Mel will like her a bit better.

For the time being, he is being very needy and pushing Lucy out of the way when he gets the chance to get some attention.

Jeff the Cat has been hiding in the bedroom. Occasionally he will sit on our kitchen blockade and hiss at Lucy. I suspect their friendship will take much longer to blossom.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Hey, Ya'll...

BIG NEWS AT THE LEAGUE OF MELBOTIS

The League asks you to welcome new Leaguer, Lucy "Goosey" Steans.



Lucy's plans at the League include:

1) a lot of rockin'
2) sniffing
3) peeing on the carpet
4) being dwarfed by Mel
5) preventing us from getting any sleep

Lucy says hello, and while she does not yet know you, she already loves you.