Spurs win, Suns do not.

Hard fought game, and I think it's fair to say that the Spurs are as good as they've ever been in any incarnation. I'm finally learning to appreciate this Mohammad guy and Barry.

I do think Horry took a flop that resulted in Stoudemire's unwarranted foul, but Spurs were playing so well, they would have bagged this one, anyway.

Not much going on with us here at League HQ.

We realized recently that we'd fallen into a vicious circle in regards to raising Lucy to be a good little dog. We'd leave her outside all day while we were gone, letting her in only to eat and sleep. Then we'd go out and play with her, and try to do some training outside.

This meant that each time we let her into the house, she thought that it was time to eat. And if she didn't eat, she would just run in circles and tear the place up. This, of course, would get her booted back outside. We'd go outside again to play with her, but it was never for enough time.

Realizing we sort of had a wild dog living in our house, we've now been letting Lucy just tear the place up. It does help that she's older now and does seem to at least try to understand what's going on. She's got a long way to go, but I think with a bit of patience, in a few months time she'll be used to being inside for longer durations.

Will she ever quit chasing Jeff the Cat? Only time will tell.

Mel, on the other hand, both loves and is annoyed by Lucy. She tends to hop on him quite a bit, pull on his ears and just sit and bark at him from time to time. And sometimes he seems to really just want some quiet time away from her. Other times he looks positively amused with her. So, you know, it's a family.

Summer is on in Phoenix. We went from below average temperatures all spring to 110 in just a few weeks. I've heard Texas is already cooking, too. So good luck to all of ya'll. Keep an emergency case of Shiner nearby at all times.

I'm watching The Chronicles of RIddick out of the corner of my eye. It's not just Uncle George who likes to write silly space movies.

And what was once the DC Comics homepage has undergone a minor hop in what I think is probably the right direction. My guess is what you'll see there now is just a place holder for things to come.

It's now quite clear that the company is trying very hard to diversify it's audience, and step away from only being a company publishing comics in the world of Superman.

Last month, however, DC stepped away from what should have been a profitable venture into republishing European comics from Humanoids. I assume the partnership was dissolved due to low sales, but haven't heard anything definite. But if it WAS due to low sales, as always, The League has an opinion.

Too much of a good thing.

For years and years and years, Americans have heard how European comics are infintely superior to American comics in structure, writing and art. This is all subjective, but European comics do tend to be handled with an eye toward an adult audience. Unlike American comics where this usually means they've drawn naked ladies (which I assure you, they do in European comics), the content seems to require a greater sense of maturity than, say, Spawn.

I checked out the famous Metabarons series, Technopriests and a few others.

But here's the problem.

I actually LIKE the comics I'm reading already. They're fun. And I already spend probably an unreasoanable amount of money keeping my comic habit going. So when even something really nice looking comes out, I MIGHT check it out. BUT, keep in mind, now that comics are a direct sales item, they're pretty much printed to order.

Each month, as a loyal comic fan, I check a guide to see what I might want which is coming out in three months. I have to then tell my shopkeep what I'll want, and he places the order. So, essentially, I'm buying items without ever getting to hold them in my hand first.

Now, if I'm following a character, or writer, or artist I like, I can KNOW there's a good chance I'll like what I've ordered when it arrives. But my shop keep can't afford to way over order items he has no idea he can sell. So, consequently, my shopkeep might not order any of the Humanoids comics at all if nobody in the shop has been talking about them.

And knowing the crowd in my shop, believe me, they aren't talking about European comics. It's Wolverine or nothing.

So what does DC do?

They flood the market with these things.

They start releasing five or six of these things a month. That's over a hundred bucks a month in material they're suggesting I pick up on top of what I'm already picking up. Now, I'd probably only pick up maybe one or two a month, maybe. But that still adds up over a while.

So if it appears that these comics are only selling a few at a time, well, DC is going to think that nobody wants to even check the comics out. Which isn't and wasn't true.

I would have loved to have always had the option to pick up one or two of these books each month. But I was never going to buy all of them at once, and if they're printing to order... when, exactly, am I going to be able to pick them up?

Anyway, so long DC/ Humanoids relationship. I thought Metabarons was okay.

Yeah, who hired these assholes anyway?

TOYS THAT SHOULD NOT BE

This is a little tangential, but follow me here...

Here's a knock-off Darth Vader Doll known as "Galaxy Cop".

In order to bring greater value to Galaxy Cop, the makers have provided a real head under the helmet.

And this is not intentional, and maybe it's my own Rorschach test, but I think it looks suspiciously like Bill Frist. He just looks so HAPPY under that helmet.

Today, Jason said:

I think that the biggest question to come out of the whole Star Wars phenomenon is why can't there be more movies that truly engage the imagination of the audience and still pull off an interesting storyline with characters that we appreciate and care about? The crappy thing is how few movies there have been SINCE Star Wars that have managed to deliver a sensation of unfettered imagination and fantasy without immediately seeming silly. Star Wars reminded us that sci-fi and fantasy need not just be stories for children- they can also be the stuff of modern mythology.

Is Jason just smoking crack, or does Jason have something here?

This evening's post is meant to challenge you, the reader, to mention and debate Jason's point.

Is Star Wars the only film or film series to have created a viable reality outside of our own?

I'll go ahead and short circuit The Matrix film series and try to point out what I think Jason means. The Matrix is supposed to take place after Skynet finally defeats humanity. On Earth. At some point. But it doesn't provide us with an entirely new world. In fact, it REQUIRES our world as a reference point when the heroes enter The Matrix and do Kung-Fu and whatnot.

Okay, Leaguers... debate.


Chewbacca's Day at Glamour Shots

THE FAMILY SHAW WELCOMES LITTLE QUICKDRAW McSHAW INTO THE FOLD

As noted last week Jennifer D. and Reed T. Shaw have been visited by Senor Stork and Meredith Cynthia is now an honorary member of Mono-Music.


Reed, Jen and QuickDraw have a bonding moment.


QuickDraw gives a wry smile. She has Daddy's keys, and tonight, she RIDES!!!!


QuickDraw cackles in delight, imagining her future life as a tiny bandita in the deserts of Old Mexico!


Tired out from a day of imaginary ransacking, QuickDraw takes a siesta with Jen. Jen looks forward to getting back to her life of actual ransacking.

Yes. Oh, yes.

The League Faces the End of the Star Wars Saga

My earliest memories are of abject terror.

1) Stepping on a bee outside our apartment and getting stung on teh sole of my foot.
2) Realizing that going headfirst down our apartment stairwell was not a grand idea
3) Wanting to crawl under my seat and die when the Tuskan Raider popped up over the ledge and shook his gaffi stick at Luke.

As a wee child of two or so, The Admiral (then just the Lieutenant-Commander) took my brother and myself to see Star Wars. He'd already seen it with my mom and some friends. On a lazy Saturday he took my brother and myself to go see what, for him, was a WWII fighter pilot movie in space.

In our house in Canton, MI, I can recall assembling Jason's Death Star toy and opening the bridge so I could swing Luke and Leia across, blissfully ignorant that the scene was stolen from a Ray Harryhausen creature-feature.

My mother saw to it that, though we didn't have a boatload of money, her kids had some cool Star Wars toys, Star Wars bedspreads and Star Wars wallpaper.

We saw Empire Strikes Back in Dallas, and my mind fizzled as AT-ATs walked across a barren snowscape. I was terrified of the Wampa, and a little disgusted at Han for sticking his friend in the corpse of a TanTan. Yoda spooked me a little bit, and like everyone else, I was amazed at what really lay behind the silly facade. And Vader, that bastard, could NOT be Luke's father. He was a liar.

Hours were lost after school trying to decide what it would mean if Vader WAS Luke's father. Hours were lost discussing the tactical advatange of having your gunner facing backward in your Snowspeeder. Even more time was lost trying to figure out what would become of smuggler who was put on ice for the amusement of an interstellar gangster we'd only heard whispers about.

Jedi was released, and we all went nuts. The creatures were even crazier in this outing. The Empire was seemingly defeated. Ewoks had saved the day. Vader was dead, but he had reconciled with his son, and somehow that made it okay.

Two things in particular stuck out to me upon my first viewing. 1) I liked this Admiral Ackbar guy. I liked his style. 2) Princess Leia in a metal bikini. Sure, I was in maybe third grade, but for some reason it seemed like a good idea.

All was resolved with Jedi. No more stories to tell.

I went to bed under Star Wars comforters for another year or two. My floor was covered in Star Wars action figures and assorted toys for about the same duration.

We all know that reaction to Episode I and II was, shall we say, mixed. But even then, my jaw hung as each new ship crossed the screen, as each new alien wandered from screen right to left. As each new world unveiled itself, alive and well, and not possibly just something plucked from some human imagination.

And, today Jamie and I caught the 5:05 showing of Revenge of the Sith.

Even before leaving, I felt as if I was jumping in the car to head off for a wedding.
"How do you figure?" Jamie asked as I noted the odd sense of uneasy anticipation I had in my gut.
"I don't know. It's like, when we come back, something is going to have ended or changed forever."
And I was right. It's over now. No more Star Wars movies from Uncle George. Not that I know of, anyway.
A lot of folks are going to draw a wry smile and say, "Good. These three sucked." And I'm not going to dispute that. The quality of the movies is almost neither here nor there. The point is, it's over.

Sure, Uncle George has stated that he'll allow some TV shows to be produced, or maybe some cartoons or something. But the feature films are over with. Everything now will be others riding on George's coattails, making a buck and, at best, hoping to catch some of the fire that he brought to our imaginations a lifetime ago.

They run these silly documentaries on basic cable on Star Wars almost non-stop. In each of them, it strikes me as odd to hear someone say, "Well, I thought Chewbacca was a crazy idea. A seven foot ape who doesn't talk?"

I grew up with Chewbacca. He's as familiar as peanut butter. He's like a friend from summer camp you haven't seen in years, but you feel like you can still speak knowledgably about him. He wears a bandolier and carries a bow-caster. He's an exceptional mechanic and pilot and doesn't care much for droids.

And all my life I grew up knowing what a Jedi was, and knowing that making the Kessel Run in under 9 Parsecs is really, really good time. And that Droids aren't allowed in bars. And that The Force will be with you. Always.

I can't imagine not having Star Wars in my life, no matter how much I bitch and complain. And I'll always be greatful to Uncle George for giving me a world to grow up in when I was too tired and bored of my own tiny little world.

It's over now, and whether or not I loved the new movie, it doesn't really matter. We all knew where this was headed, and part of me is glad to know that Uncle George wants to leave us standing on our heads so badly, we're going to all have to reach back into ourselves some 20-odd years and remember that it did all wind up okay. And what an odd way to end it all, on a dark and bitter note with the knowledge in hand that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

So long, Star Wars.

The Force Will Be With You.

Always.

I just want to be clear, before the game ends...

I don't care who wins the Western Conference. These are my two favorite teams. This is better than the Finals for The League.

SUNS WIN!!!!

SUNS WIN!!!!

SUNS WIN!!!!

The League Presents:

Why I Hate the News
or
Is it the public that's made up of mouth-breathers in search of instant gratifcation, or have editorial standards really dipped this low?

Front page of CNN as of 2:20pm PT.



I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

I thought we had two wars on, Iran threatening nukes again, N. Korea ducking nuke talks once more, and several humanitarian crisis lurking in Sub-Saharan Africa. It DOES appear somebody got a picture of Saddam in his undies (titter!). Not to mention our own legislative system in turmoil, senators threatening judges, and 2000 pages of testimony on hand of prisoner abuse at quasi-legal military prisons.

Note to self: When you are finally overthrown by the liberty-loving peoples of Greenland and Patagonia, make sure you kill yourself by self-immolation so nobody can take photos of you while you're in your undies.

Thank Christ CNN is STILL concerned with how many people are going to the theater. And that Topher Grace is going to be in Spider-Man 3. In two years. And they haven't even announced the role yet.

You know, I LIKE Star Wars. I own a Darth Vader helmet and a toy of Sebulba's podracer, but even I know that none of that shit is news. It's just not.

Nobody is going to quit making movies, and people aren't going to quit watching them. Just because we're all too dumb to understand the jacked up shit in our world doesn't mean the press needs to pander to that nonsense.

We deserve whatever the f@#k we get.

F@#k it.

Alas, The League has still not made it to see the new Star Wars flick, Revenge of the Sith. We've been watching some of the "Science of Star Wars" programming on Discovery Channel, but it's not really the same, and every once in a while, they interject in a scene containing Jake Lloyd, and next thing I know Jamie's holding me down and has a spoon jammed in my mouth.

Work has gotten in the way of my usual midnight showings on premier night. Hopefully I'll get to go see it this weekend at matinee prices.

Jim has already seen the film, and he loved it. His only complaint? Not enough Jar-Jar. "Where is my precious Jar-Jar?" he complained, just sobbing like a baby. It was hard to make out EXACTLY what he said as his voice was muffled by a lifesize latex Jar-Jar mask.

I had recorded Smallville last night, and while The League is a fan of all things Superman, we're beginning to believe that Smallville is no longer actually Superman at all and just some TV show.

The good news is that after the show concluded, WB showed a ten minute segment with clips from the new film "Batman Begins".

The movie looks like it's going to be pretty darn good. It's an origin story (thus the "Begins" bit), and looks like a much better first look at Batman than the Tim Burton flicks. I think you kids will like it.

Anyhow, sorry my posts have been sort of spotty of late. Busy busy.

Look. I don't like Kelsey Grammer.

I sort of watched Cheers in the 80's and 90's. I watched enough episodes of Frasier with my Cheers adoring roommate in college to know that I was probably only ever going to watch the show under duress and in hospital waiting rooms.

I just never felt as if... I dunno... There's something about Kelsey Grammer that seems more like a dumb guy with a good baritone ACTING like a smart guy, that really sort of cheeses me off.

But, you know, none of it usually effects my day.

Now, the geniuses at Marvel who brought us recent hits such as Elektra and Man-Thing, and who hired the director of "Taxi" to direct Fantastic Four... bring you Kelsey Grammer as the X-Men's resident egg-head Hank McCoy.

Bear in mind, Grammer is 50 years old, and not exatly in Schwarzeneggerian condition. Also, bear in mind that the Beast's only real power is to leap about and hang from chandeliers by his toes and whatnot. Given his acrobatic turn at the recent DisneyLand 50th Birthday celebration, I am, at best, suspicious, of this casting decision. In short, I am praying for a completely CGI Hank McCoy.

Which begs the question.... Ah, screw it.

With Singer gone to direct Superman Returns, the director being brought in has complained that Singer's plots were too simplistic, and that he plans to jazz it up. My personal guess is that the guys making decisions on this movie are totally freaked out with Bryan Singer gone. To compensate, they're madly scrambling to put together a movie which at least looks like it should be a success on paper.

Successful television actor... check! Director who plans to shake up the "Status Quo"... check! Diva actress (Berry) demanding a more important part for her tangential character... check! Possibility that Cyclops actor will be passed over for being in new Superman movie... check!

The League is sorry to announce the passing of actor Frank Gorshin.

Gorshin played the Riddler in the Adam West-starring Batman TV series.

Gorshin's Riddler was a manic, frantic portrayal befitting the series, and wound up dictating the portrayal of the Riddler in the comics for years to come. Jim Carrey's Riddler never really matched Gorshin's performance for The League, and we'd liek to think if Supervillains roamed the earth, they'd be a lot like Frank.

I last saw him in the TV movie "Back to the Batcave" in which he played himself, having gone mad and believing he was the Riddler.

Of all the villains who were not Julie Newmar in a Catwoman suit, Gorshin is still my favorite from the movie and TV series.

Godspeed, Frank.

A LOYAL LEAGUER BECOMES A FATHER

It sounds as if Loyal Leaguer Reed T. Shaw has become a father.

Meredith Cynthia Shaw was born at 5:30pm on the 16th of May to Reed and Jen Shaw.

It is predicted the child will know more about the Minnesota Vikings and Texas A&M Football before her third birthday than most people will know in a lifetime. Jen will surely interject some Longhorn lore into the child, as well as ruin the child for all other cooking. I am sure even Jen's mashed beets will surpass the average mashed beets.

I spoke with Jen on Sunday and she was saying the baby was due midweek or later. The early arrival proves nothing less than that the baby carries more of Jen's genes than those of Reed-o (that would be an inside joke, Leaguers).

Congratulations to the Family Shaw! And welcome Meredith Cynthia. And just ignore Daddy. He always gets like that when the Vikings lose.

Rusty writes:

Hi Melbotis this is Rusty Steans

Im a Bedlington Terrier and live across the pond in South Yorkshire England my hobbies include chasing rabbits, tennis balls and lady terriers

This is my dads bands Web Site: http://rock-it3.tripod.com/

Here is Rusty:



Dear Rusty,

Mel is so happy to hear from other doggy. Too often, Mel hear from nobody all day but stupid baby dog. Stupid baby dog say, "Hello! Hello! Hello! Me too! Me too! Me too!" That all she say all day.

Sometime Melbotis despair.

So Melbotis VERY happy to hear from Rusty.

But Mel must ask: Where does Rusty keep his eyes? Mel sees no eyeballs.

I ask Chubby-Couch-Man what pond is.

"What?"
"Pond."
"It's like a sort of standing body of water. Usually associated with pussywillows and lily-pads and... Wait, we live in Arizona. Why the hell do you care what a pond is?"
"Rusty live across pond."
"He lives in the UK. It's a sort of group of islands off the coast of France. They have kings and stuff. Occasionally they dominate the world."
"So what is Pond?"
"Uhmm... I dunno. It's a way to make fun of the Atlantic ocean and display friendship between the US and UK. We're just separated by a pond, not an ocean, see?"
"Is England an archipelago?"
"You know what, buddy. We're Americans. We don't need to really know a darn thing about geography. It's just not in us."
"I see."

So Mel not entirely certain what England is, but he happy to have friend like Rusty who lives on same island as Harry Potter.

Melbotis have pal, Steanso, who in band in Austin, Texas. You may try to understand what Mono Ensemble up to, because Mel not understand.

Mel more of a fan of Al Green and this record.

Anyway, Mel so happy to hear about Rusty and Trev. Hello! Hello!

So, thus far, not only has The League not made one cent by placing ads, The League noticed that the three click-thru's he placed himself came to nothing.

So, The League is looking at a bleak future of having to do this for free.

C'mon, you jerks! Buy something! Support The League's Sponsors.


I was thinking the other day...

Where the hell are Loyal Leaguers Nathan and Jill? Nathan has gone mostly AWOL since the appearance of his child, and Jill disappeared from my Inbox just after announcing her move to Kalamazoo.

No, really. There's a place in Michigan called Kalamazoo. It is where the Hermann-Wilmarths go to nest every summer.


I am going to try to read the following actual books this summer (before I return to school and cannot make time to read fun things).

1. Theodore Rex
2. Eisner/ Miller

I'm wanting to read a good political biography or other book regaling me with some historical interest. But it's been a while since I was a history major, and I really don't know where to start.

Anybody know any good historical non-fiction?

Entertainment Weekly, CNN.com (sorry, the story is gone now. No link available) and others have all been jumping on the low box office receipts for this year.

Lots of had-wringing reports have come out recently stating that box office has dropped off to such a degree that movie going will most certainly end and we'll all end up watching movies on pay-per-view.

But check out the Top Ten.

Kingdom of Heaven20th Century Fox
House of WaxWarner Bros.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyTouchstone
CrashLions Gate
The InterpreterUniversal
XXX: State of the UnionColumbia
The Amityville HorrorMGM
SaharaParamount
A Lot Like LoveTouchstone
Fever Pitch20th Century Fox


Of the top ten movies:

2 were remakes of Horror Classics with a B-level cast (the original House of Wax scared me to death when I was 13, and Amityville... Amityville was debunked years ago, and the story really isn't THAT compelling. Not to mention the glut of haunted house movies from the past six years or so) In a seeming effort to drive away a good chunk of the audience, one movie has even inserted Paris Hilton.

1 was a remake of XXX. Without the titular actor returning. Nor any sign of the rocket-propelled, nuclear-powered submarine.

1 was a period piece about a period which most Americans, I am guessing, know about mostly from having seen Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

Hitchhiker's is an adaptation if nichey, culty book, which may have produced a nichey, culty movie audience.

2 romantic comedies (because the earth will quit spinning if we don't have two romantic comedies at the cineplex at all times) . One stars Jimmy Fallon. The other stars Ashton Kutcher, who everyone over the age of 19 (Ms. Moore excepted) kind of hates. *

Crash, which looks kind of preachy

And Sahara which looks like... well, sort of like "The Jewel of the Nile". Except with all the star power of Penelope Cruz. Because, we are all told, we all love Penelope Cruz.

and The Interpreter, which looks like those thrillers from the eighties which take themselves very seriously and usually involve people talking in hushed tones and looking at photos and whatnot. But you can be sure, everyone will be very, very grave.

It's not that anything in the top 10 even looks all that bad, it's that none of it really looks all that good. Even Kingdom of Heaven looks like a movie you're asking me to make an investment in before sitting down. I mean, I see a horse and a suit of armor, and I figure, with trailers, the fastest I'm getting out of the theater in 3 hours, 10 minues. That's a sizeable chunk of my weekend. It better be pretty darn good. And yet it stars Orlando Bloom.

Mostly, everything just sort of looks like something I've seen before. And I've got cable if I want to see things I've already seen before.

That, and Hollywood has decided it's already Summer Movie Season, and if they decide, it must be, right?

1. It was snowing last week in Michigan. I know this because my consultant from Ann Arbor told me this. It may be 72 and breezy in LALA Land, but the rest of the country is still trying to decide how many layers to wear.

2. Kids aren't out of school and college kids are in finals. This is your audience. If you really want to get kids to skip studying in order to go to the movies, you better have some serious explosions up your sleeve. I mean, you'd best be offering up the "choose between the red pill and the blue pill"-type explosions.

And I don't know if it's just me slowly going crazier (this is what Steanso blames), but if I have an option between paying $8.00 to half hear my movie and half hear somebody else's conversation, or, if I can just watch a movie on my 27" TV, stop and start it at will, and not worry about some kid kicking my seat... well, The League knows what the League is going to do.

Honestly, we now pick movies, movie times and venues pretty well. We've gotten it all down to a bit of a science. Aside from the kids under 10 running about during The Aviator, we've done pretty well lately.

But for the most part, there's just not much I want to see. Or at least, for $8.00 a ticket, plus $3.50 for a coke, and $2.50 for a box of Hot Tamales, I mean... do I really want to do all that in order to see Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore? Isn't there something on Discovery?

Not every movie is going to be gold. In fact, I usually think 1 in 5 being something of interest ain't bad. But I hate the whining. Why isn't anyone going to the movies? Because the movies look really uninteresting.

And it's tough to take anyone seriously who complains that Star Wars' $300+ million take won't meet expectations... but, who is setting these expectations? And how are they setting them? Last I checked, $300 million is the GDP of some smaller countries.

The League loves movies. Really. We do. We try not to be film snobs (and certainly do not feel that we've got the pedigree to be a film snob). And we try to enjoy movies for both escapism and for the commentary they can deliver in teh right hands.

But we don't like articles written chastising the general populace for not going to the movies while refusing to suggest that, maybe... just maybe... the product the studios are offering us just doesn't look like it should cost us $30 after candy and soda are accounted for.


*The League hereby declares Our services open to the Hollywood elite. But, especially, to casting directors.

The League would make ourselves available 24 hours a day to all casting directors. For a nominal fee, you could call me up, tell me :

1. the story of the movie in some broadstrokes
2. a bit about the character
3. your intended audience
4. how much money you really want to make, gross
5. which well-known actor you're considering for the part

The League will then tell you:

1. if the League perceives the well-known actor to be a complete jack-ass
2. whether or not the coveted 18-34 year old male audience will see the movie
3. if he'd pay matinee or full price
4. and why he really, really hates the actor you just called to ask him about

We think we'd find this service to be not only a step toward the betterment of mankind, but, also, we'd find it personally gratifying.

Some additions to The Royal Roster of Loyal Leaguers

We've added a few items to the blogroll recently. Check out Return to Comics and Dave's Long Box. Both have linked to The League, although The League does not know these people. We assume they are nice folks.

On a less comics-oriented front, God of Biscuits linked to The League, so we're returning the favor. We don't know God of Biscuits, but we assume he is the deity who gave King Biscuit his Flower Power.

And, of course, Michael Scaljon, whom I have not figured how he knows Jim.

****UPDATE****

Jim sent me two more folks who have linked to the League.

Pleadings star Heather Durham has linked to the League

as well as this person, known for their Profundities.

The League Totally $@%*ing Sells Out!

So, recently RHPT.com added advertising to RHPT.com. It's his personal blog and, like The League, the blog is Randy's personal gift to humanity.

Randy was attacked in his comments section, and responded here.

The biggest accusation? RHPT.com had lost his indie street cred (which, with $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee), and had TOTALLY $@%*ing sold out. To, I assume, The Man.


For your files, an image of The Man (aka: The Admiral)

The League loves doing anything with will make Jim D. sigh with resignation, and so has applied to join Google AdSense himself.

What, indeed, IS the earning potential of The League of Melbotis? Thus far The League has received goods and services from Loyal Leaguers, and hopes to receive more free stuff in the future. However, The League is morbidly curious to see, exactly, what can come of this.

So, The League decided to see what can happen with the profit-making potential of the internet (thanks, Al Gore!). Especially when you select the biggest ad type which won't totally jack-up your formatting?


The League turns to his usual financial advisor for advice on whether or not this will work.

I do plan to fill in Loyal Leaguers as to the processes and windfalls of my advertising here.

1. I applied to AdSense
2. They e-mailed me back a day later to say "welcome" and provide instructions.
3. The directions are relatively simple to get this thing up and online.
4. I have no idea how I'm actually going to get paid for this, or even what the math is on click-throughs.
5. It doesn't really matter. It's all in good fun.

I have noticed that Google has already done a crawl here at The League. We're now schilling Superman costumes and Justice League outfits.

I've also gone aheaded and added a web-search, courtesy of Our Dread Lord, Google. Have fun with that.

It's capitalism, ahoy! here at the S.S. Melbotis!

Okay, I just spent an hour watching a documentary on Oliver, the Humanzee.

I invite for you to read up on Oliver.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Apparently he lives here, near San Antonio.

As unnerving as Oliver may be, it was just as unnerving to learn that scientists sort of think it might not be too hard to mix and match human and chimpanzee DNA and make a Humanzee.

I can only assume my sense of dread from the other day foretold the loss by Suns from last night. Otherwise, I have no idea.

DC's president and publisher, Paul Levitz, has posted an open letter to DC fans regarding the logo change at the company.

As much as something seems afoot in the actual comics DC publishes, a few rumors have popped up of a DC Comics which will be asked to play ball with the parent omnicorp of Time-Warner. Previously, DC had kept a low profile within the corporation and acted more or less independently, pointing to licensing of the big three in order to justify their existence.

It's not so much that Time-Warner appears to feel DC needs to put up or get closed down, as much as they look at Marvel setting up their own movie studio, a billion dollars in receipts for Spider-Man, and other successes Marvel has managed to leverage. In short, they're looking to further merchandise DC properties and try to manage it in house so travesties like last year's Catwoman do not reoccur.

Personally, I think properties like Green Lantern (Corps), The Flash, Green Arrow and Black Canary might all be viable commodities. Second and third tier characters from DC would be at least as viable as Marvel's. And, heck... Marvel can't seem to sell Blade comic books, but the movies make tens of millions. Could DC make a succesful Question movie? What about Enemy Ace? Or Mr. Terrific?

The concern is this: As DC angles to drop "Comics" from their name, and, instead, become just DC (as is DC toys, DC movies, DC t-shirts)... What are those in power from above Levitz going to do to the comic line? It's never been hugely profitable, and with fewer and fewer comic readers existing in the world, what will happen? Will Time-Warner use it's distribution channels to increase circulation? Will the suits step in and hack and slash titles? Force format change? And, most important... how likely is it that somebody at Time-Warner above Levitz will begin to dictate what content is appropriate for a wider audience? Especially when lunch boxes and action figures get involved in the mix?

It's a waiting game at this point. But I've got faith in DC.

BTW, I like this picture DC has on the website, with Superman and Batman sort of endorsing the logo by association. The picture looks a bit like Superman and Batman are behaving as they might normally when confronted with something new. Batman looks suspicious, ready to kick somebody in the sternum. Superman looks enthusiastic, ready to check out this new thing, confident that if he tries hard enough, it's all going to work out.

Speaking of Superman, Bryan Singer has been publishing video diaries of his work on the currently filming Superman Returns. You can check them out over at Bluetights.net.

The latest video, as of this writing, is video 11. I deeply recommend you check it out. This video shows a first glimpse of the new Daily Planet offices.

Each item which I see regarding this movie makes me believe this movie is going to be the sort of Superman film I want to see.

I've picked up a copy of Sarah Vowell's "The Partly Cloudy Patriot." It's going to be a quick read. Some highly distracted reading tonight got me through about 60 pages. Vowell's writing is conversational, quick and breezy.

It's part-memoir, part navel-gazing, part who knows? Here's what I am really enjoying: a lot of younger writers riff on the morass of pop culture in our lifestyle. Movie, TV, music references. Touchstones which are going to mean something to your Gen-X/ Gen-Y reader more than allusions to House of the Seven Gables.

While Vowell does bring these things up, she's got a lengthier worldview. For the most part, she sticks to what she knows, and this is book of history as pop culture. Where others might dwell upon reruns of Gilligan's Island, Vowell visits Gettysburg and reflects upon Abraham Lincoln's likely penchant for procrastination if he is anything like her fellow writers. But the book doesn't devolve with Vowell swimming in detail. The book uses the knowing shared nod so familiar to Gen X writing, but refers to Thomas Jefferson the way others might point to Mick Jagger.

I won't draw any conclusions yet. I'm on page 61 for God's sake. But I am enjoying the book.

Work is going to pick up drastically this coming week. You may see slightly less of The League. Maybe Mrs. League will pick up the slack?

BTW, Duncan sort of lost that game. One or two better shots earlier on, or even that last shot, and the Spurs could have locked it up. Pretty poor showing for my two remaining teams.

The League Presents:
Suggestions for Further Reading (special edition)







For the previous SFFR, go here.

Well, this evening saw a suprise (to The League, anyway) defeat handed to the Phoenix Suns by the wily Dallas Mavericks.

The Suns came out of the gate showing none of the qualities which have made them an exceptional team throughout the regular season. They certainly picked up steam in the 3rd quarter, and even occasionally took the lead in scoring, but Dallas simply outperformed them.

I missed large chunks of the first half while watching Smallville. Smallville has jumped the shark, and I won't be returning next season. This evening's episode was the single worst episode of any TV show, ever. One more episode and I'm out. It didn't even begin to make any sense.

Honestly, I put a lot of the responsibility for the Dallas victory not on any one player, but believe the laurels should be bestowed upon head coach, Avery Johnson. Avery put a real fire under the Mavs tonight, just as he once was able to do with the Spurs while on the court.

It's tough to say what the loss of Joe Johnson in the second half did to the Suns' overall performance. It seemed to both spur the Suns on, but the lack of Johnson's solid playing may have been the 3 point difference Phoenix needed to win.

I haven't checked the stats, but I think Phoenix's shooting percentage wasn't all that hot.

Ah, well. Off to Dallas for a few games.

Shut up, Marc Cuban.

***update***

It sounds like Joe will be out for a while. I heard on the radio he needs surgery to fix a broken bone near his EYE. Sumuvabitch. Ouch.

The League is unsure of why, but The League has been feeling a general unease of late. It's that sort of "why are the animals all jittery? Oh, look! The volcano is smoking..." jitteriness which seems to be telling me something is currently, or is about to be, horribly, horribly wrong.

No idea what is up, but I can feel it, like a sort of tangible vibe in the air.

Perhaps I am listening to too much Marketplace, perhaps my underwear isn't fitting properly, perhaps it's because nothing in particular is actually going totally wrong at the moment.

Don't get me wrong. The League does not enjoy drama. The League avoids drama at every turn. The League also has never really perceived within himself a sort of Spidey-Sense to pick out trouble before it happens. But every once in a while, The League begins to suspect that maybe things are just a wee bit too quiet, and that can only mean we're in a lull before things get goofy, as things inevitably must do.

Shall it be a work or career problem? Shall it be terrible financial difficulty? Will it be something of a sort of cosmic scale which affects not just The League, but, indeed, the whole planet?

The great thing about walking around with an impending sense of doom, as I am currently doing, is that when something finally does go cataclysmically wrong, The League will say, "Hey, who called the national emergency? THE LEAGUE DID, BABY!"

Anyhow, I guess we'll see.

Suggestions for Further Reading: Some Quick SFFR

Hope you guys went to FCBD. Sounds like Shoemaker took advantage.

Just wanted to surface to point out some recent comics which have been released but which you might have missed.

1) Ex Machina: The First Hundred Days

Fantastic art by Tony Harris complements great writing by the increasingly popular Brian K. Vaughn.
This takes place in a world similar to our own. Things diverge in 1999 when a civil engineer is exposed to a a glowing green device. The story begins as Mitchell Hundred has hung up his jet-pack and is now serving his first term as mayor of NYC. Sound a little sappy? It isn't. Works as both a political-fiction tale (think West Wing) and post-modern Superhero story (think Watchmen).

This collection includes the first five issues of the critically acclaimed series.

Don't believe The League? Michael Chabon recently tapped Brian K. Vaughn to write comics based on the titular comics of his Pultizer Prize winning The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.


2. We3

This collection of the 3-issue limited series by the incomparable team of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely is being released June 1.

The story told in this comic is deceptively simple. Three house pets turned into military weapons are broken free when administrators decide to terminate the beta-phase of the project. Sometimes the simple stories are the best.

This story is a heartbreaker and will make you want to love your pets forever and ever.


3. Superman: Unconventional Warfare/ Superman: That Healing Touch

Collecting Greg Rucka's current run on The Adventures of Superman, these two books collect the story thus far. Superior art and a gradually unfolding mystery make this series the best of the Superman books from last year. Fortunately, Rucka has decided to stay with Superman for the foreseeable future.

Introducing a new villain, a new take on an old favorite villain, a few additions to the cast of supporting characters, and more Mxyzptlk than you can shake a stick at, this has been an amazing run.


4. Space Ghost

No, seriously. Space Ghost.

I loved the cartoons as a kid. In some ways, Space Ghost Coast to Coast was a defining element of my college experience.

But, you know, Space Ghost never had jack for an origin, and he never really seemed to be much more than a 70's era Batman in space (with power blasters!). Later, he seemed more like The Admiral with a mask and a mantis piano player.

Joe Kelly pens and Ariel Olivetti provides phenomenal artwork, Alex Ross provides covers. Kelly and Olivetti do their best to make this seem like a lost Humanoids of Heavy Metal project while still incorporating Zorak, Jann and Jayce.

I know! Crazy, huh?

This should be out as a trade in early July.


5. All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder

Coming in July, Frank Miller and Jim Lee present an all new series of Batman comics intended for both the hardcore comic geeks and for folks who barely know Batman from Captain Carrot.

This won't be collected as a trade for some time, and I haven't seen so much as a preview page yet, but I'm putting down my lawn-mowing money in order to get my copy of this one. We think you should, too.


Suggestions for Further Reading: Countdown to Infinite Crisis

Is it just me, or does Nowitzki always cry like a 5 year old? He always has this expression of pained disbelief on his face as if he might start stomping his foot.

What a baby.

So, The League's brother in law was here over the weekend. In a short 72 hour period, Doug managed to remind The League that The League is no kind of man. The League is some sort of man-baby thing.

Only a few hours after getting here we were picking up a rented bike. Why? Because Doug got up at 6:00am on Sunday and rode his rented bike 65 miles around Phoenix. He went places I've routinely thought were too far to bother to drive during the course of a weekend.

Anyway, having Doug here was a nice change of pace. It was also leaps and bounds over the usual visit from Steanso, The League's far less active and far more disappointing actual brother.

All in all, a super-fabulous weekend.

I am very tired.

It looks like the Suns have the wrapped up. I should just go to bed.

Here is a picture of Lucy. Doug took the picture. It is a fairly good representation of what I live with every day.

they've given them legs
dear God, they've given them legs.



Thanks to Dave's Long Box for locating this one.

DC Comics is changing the old bullet logo


to a sort of swooshy star-thingy.

I think this new logo is timely and will really appeal to folks still living in 1992.

This new logo is really great, especially with the baby-blue coloring which will really do a lot to enhance comic book covers trying madly to fit this obtrusive thing into the cover scheme.

The idea is, I guess, to have the DC logo actually appear with DC Comics product. Like, if Beenie Weenie licenses Aquaman to sell Beenie-Weenie, you will see this new logo somewhere on the Beenie-Weenie label. But it should also appear on cartoons, TV programs and movies with DC properties in them. Ina ddition, all those Batman toys and Justice League action figures will also have the new DC bullet printed on the packaging.

I understand the need to place the DC logo all over everything, and I applaud the idea and effort. I'm not sure why they felt the old bullet wouldn't do (which was a great, simplistic design, that fit just about anywhere on a cover and worked in almost any color), but that's the new logo, Leaguers. This new logo makes it appear that the designer never read a DC comic in his/her life. At least not since Brainiac was floating around in a skull-shaped space ship and was referring to himself in 3rd person and shaking his fist menacingly to an empty room while he monologued. (Good times... Good times...)

Go here to see how DC is trying to cram the logo on to the cover, and how someone in marketing is making them print "collector's item" right on the cover. (Really? A collector's item? Well, that's funny, because I'm fairly certain nobody knows who the hell Donna Troy is but collector's anyway, so I guess you're right. It IS a collector's item.)

It's 1992 all over again.

You know, I wouldn't mind ANY of this, if they would quit futzing with verbage on the covers and put the comics back in spinner racks at 7-11 and B. Dalton.

So... Rockets didn't do so well.

I was out and missed the game. Not sure I missed too much.

MVP! MVP! MVP! MVP!
STEVE NASH WINS MVP!

Apparently our chant at the Round 1, Game 1 of the play-offs swayed the voting judges.

Rockets win! And how!

Mayhaps they shall win again. At any rate, the Mavs/ Rockets series has been great.

Randy posted today with a surprise challenge to The League.

Go read it here or else the rest of this post won't make much sense.

First of all, I haven't really gotten involved in this whole Podcasting brouhaha. I am not entirely clear on what it's all about, but people seem to enjoy it. The League has never been an early adopter of technologies, and also finds it difficult to do requests.

I think what Randy is looking for is an episodic bit of The League existing in some sphere outside of that of the blog. Here's the problem as I see it:

1) The League's voice is sort of a nice, flat monotone. It's sort of a mid-range, droning, honking sound. It's awful. Nobody is going to want to listen to that for more than ten seconds.

2) The League requires the time between thought and typing in order to create this unique little universe you see here. Just talking...? Eh. The League doesn't do so well.

Reviewing Randy's individual requests for types of Podcasts:

a) The League has remained friendly because The League doesn't suffer much for politics. Sure, The League is willing to have a nice, reasoned debate, especially when given time to collect The League's thoughts. But The League doesn't watch shouty point/ counter point shows and would rather not add to the mayhem. And here's a secret. I do want to listen to other viewpoints and consider what they've got to say and maybe take it in for a while. I'm not sure what anybody has to gain by me shouting dumb talking points at somebody else's dumb talking points.

b) I assure you, League HQ IS NOT a wild and crazy place to live. If it were, The League would probably not spend its days and nights obsessing about the adventures of musclebound aliens. Further, Jeff, Lucy and Mel cannot actually speak. At least not into a microphone.

c) If you think the League's voice is annoying, doubling that effect by adding in Steanso isn't going to endear us to anybody. Steanso and The League are virtual voice-clones and share a great deal in the way of colloquialisms and usage of the word "dude".

And what do you mean "descend into drug addiction and egomania"? I assure you, we are entirely there already. The League spends his evenings hopped up on Justice League vitamins and preening in front of a mirror trying to get his Superman spit-curl just right. (And I confess... it takes no small amount of ego to maintain a blog like this day after day).

I'm not totally ruling out any possibilities regarding the Podcast. The largest factor is that I haven't determined how much of a hassle this would be.

This is totally unrelated, but does anybody else think that Barkley might be drunk out of his mind on each and every episode of Inside the NBA? The man is a maniac.

Anyhow, I'm not really sure The League would translate well to radio.

BUT...

Thanks, Randy! I appreciate the vote of confidence/ delusion that the League might be fun in other media. It's this kind of support that gives me the uncontrollable ego which Jamie is beginning to find oh so oppressive.

And, uhmmm... Go Rockets!

The League has a confession to make. The League watches American Idol. The League even VOTES for his favorite contestants (God bless toll-free numbers and re-dial).

Thanks to the power of Digital Video Recorders, Mrs. League has managed to cut the entire hour long program down to about 10 minutes. No commercials. No Randy, no Paula, just enough Simon to hear his verdict and cheer him on as he craftily manipulates the voters of America.

(Example: Last night, after a very decent vocal performance by Vonzell Solomon, Simon said, "You better hope your supporters vote for you." In Simon-ese, this means: You did very well, and in order to ensure people who might be sitting on the fence vote for you, I will make it sound like you need all the help you can get. This will ensure you receive an adequate number of votes. Sure enough, Vonzell was one of the top contestants this week.)

I don't know why I watch the show. I mean, it's a stupid show, the performers are somewhat talented, but the style of music doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. I am also well past blaming Jamie for my viewership.

So, of course, this evening I watched the entire Corey Clark deal on ABC. And here, I must get in lock-step with Randy. I'm an American and I'm an idiot, and the news magazines have no trouble exploiting that to boost ratings. Across the planet we have avertable catastrophe after avertable catastrophe, but this evening I dedicated an hour of my life to watching this sorry excuse for a human being "admit" to having had relations with Paula Abdul.

And I think Jim or Randy was going to write a biting editorial on the North Korean situation, but it hasn't appeared yet.

Now, let me clarify: If I had known pretty much any famous person the way Corey claims to have known Paula Abdul, I'd probably want an hour of prime-time TV to tell people about it, too. However, I wouldn't be trying to get a recording contract and a book out of it. I just like to share.

You can read the various reports which are probably trickling out on CNN.com, Yahoo! News, etc... The evidence which Clark provides is circumstantial, but that certainly doesn't mean that it isn't pointing an enormous glowing arrow toward Corey's camp. Corey appears to be a complete jackass, but that doesn't mean he's lying. And just because he's not lying doesn't mean he isn't absolutely without talent.

I had forgotten in the two years since he was on TV how truly awful that guy really is.

Anyway, after the full hour of prime time TV dedicated to this nonsense, our local affiliate spent 5 minutes covering the exact same story we'd spent an hour watching, then would update us every commercial break to tell us lots of people were voting online whether or not they believed Corey.

98% of people didn't believe him. 98%.

Sure, he's an untrustworthy schmoe, but what, exactly, did Paula Abdul to gain our trust? Was it the dancing cartoon cat that won us over? Was it the failed marriage to Emilio Estevez that had us thinking, "She cannot tell a lie!"

Or was it the hit-and-run car wreck from earlier this year? Or the revelation that Paula's been hopped up on goofballs for the past few seasons of AI thanks to some back injury.

I dunno.

The important thing is that the Spurs won a decisive victory and are on to Round 2 in the play-offs.

This one is for Jim.

Sounds like the League's favorite pundit was asked a colorful question while giving a speech at UT. The question apparently had little to do with Ann Coulter's views and more to do with being wacky/ disruptive.

I am sure that the right's own little hot house flower withered on the vine.

Apparently the student in question also gesticulated inappropriately, and all in the presence of kids under the age of 10.

From The Smoking Gun:
The police affidavit notes that Coulter's lecture was attended by "several children under the age of ten," which probably made them particularly sensitive when Raj queried Coulter about the sexual proclivities of certain right-leaning men.

Which begs the question: Whaaaaaaa....???

I remember being ten. (Don't tell my folks, but I remember being ten better than I remember being twenty thanks to some experimental study techniques). And I'm not sure that listening to someone blather on about politics when I was ten would really have done it for me. Maybe if they'd explained reforming social security while twirling a lightsaber. THAT would have kept my attention.

Further... Ann Coulter? Seriously? And they're concerned about some dude making lewd hand gestures is polluting the little cretins' minds?

Sweet!

I love Zorro.

Oh, Leaguers. I am unsure of how to entertain you this evening. I don't have time for a "DITMTLOD" or any of my other wildly amusing columns.

Honestly, with two weeks down of me being sick, Jamie then being sick, and Lucy being sick in the middle... I haven't had much time to ponder the imponderables and dream up worthwhile ways to waste your work day. Not to mention work.

I work at a large, state university and classes ended today. Because I am responsible for delivery and creation of classes, in theory I should be breathing a sigh of relief. But the fact is, we have summer classes coming up, Fall classes to think about, and other projects to work on as well. It never ends, people.

DC Comics are continuing to rock my socks off. The titles are now clicking into one another like cogs on a a crazy comic book machine. It's a heck of a fun time. So, you know, when you GO TO FREE COMIC BOOK DAY, you can pick up any of DC's titles and jump into the frivolity.

Because I want to be fair, I want to mention that DC's oft-less than friendly competition Marvel is not exactly run by chimps. They've also got a big cross-over event going on under the title "House of M". It helps to have read "Avengers: Disassembled" in order to enjoy the series, but I am sure "House of M" will be fine on it's own.

Nice little side story. Apparently the cover artist for one of the House of M books cribbed an image of the King of Spain for his portrait of Magneto. Apparently the King of Spain's people found out and they are not amused. Read here.

The somewhat "edgy" X-Men spin-off series, X-Statix, was pretty much brought down about two years ago by a remarkably poor decision to have a story in which real-life/ real-dead Princess Diana was brought back to life as some sort of mutant superhero. Seriously.

I understand wanting to be edgy or whatever the hell people do when they want to draw attention to themselves. As long as it generates a decent story.

Apparently I have more of a nose for controversy than the publishers at Marvel, because at least I saw that the British Royals might not think too highly of this particular idea.

It appears that Marvel's execs caught wind of what Marvel-publishing was up to after the movie-end of the Marvel business walked into several meetings in Hollywood and ran into angry folks who had known the real life Princess Di.


No, really...

The comic was, of course, changed. But it was, of course, entirely too late.

The controversy was one of several factors that brought Marvel's then-President Bill Jemas down. That, losing all of their decent talent but Bendis and telling both customers and retailers to go jump in a lake. Funny how things work out.

I know. I'm shocked, too. I had no idea Spain still had a king.

Anyhow, there's something to for you to read up on.

And you thought it was all heat-vision and bullet proof skin...

Hey, Leaguers!

I have failed to previously mention it, but...

Saturday is Free Comic Book Day

As you might have noticed, The League of Melbotis has a passing interest in the comic book format of sequential art-storytelling. We at The League hope that you, not at The League, will take the opportunity presented by FCBD and check out the wide-world of comics.

It appears every store handles this event differently. Austin Books on Lamar in Austin, TX gives out one copy of each comic to all comers. While my local shop, Atomic Comics, gives out one comic per warm body. Atomic Comics is also at the mall and has a lot higher foot traffic.

Personally, I think giving out as many different comics as possible is a better business model. It widens the chances that new and old readers will try something on which they never read before.

While at the shop, I suggest you take a look at what's on the shelf. Some neat books are out there for every taste. If you don't know where to start, try asking one of the erstwhile employees of your shop for some hints and clues.

For help finding a shop in your neck of the Hyperverse, you can check out the Comic Shop Locator.

See you on FCBD!!!!

I am sure Jamie found this by way of Doug.

I believe the Mysterious M will enjoy this most of all.

Kitten War.

You see the Admiral as you want to see him.



I'll see him as he is.


Yarrrrhhh!!!

Everyone else is doing it...

Your Taste in Music:

80's Alternative: High Influence

Punk: High Influence

80's Pop: Medium Influence

80's R&B: Medium Influence

90's Alternative: Medium Influence

Progressive Rock: Medium Influence

80's Rock: Low Influence

Alternative Rock: Low Influence

Dance: Low Influence

Hair Bands: Low Influence

Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence

Ska: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

Movie viewing update:

In case you were wondering...

yes, I did watch part of the Sci-Fi Channel's Saturday night movie, "Man-Thing."

yes, it is based upon an obscure Marvel Comics character from the 1970's who is a rip-off of DC Comics' popular and critically acclaimed comic series Swamp Thing. No, nobody has read a Man-Thing comic in years.

No, I do not know why they chose THIS character to adapt to film.

Especially after Swamp Thing has been translated to 2 feature films, a TV series and a cartoon (as well as an unpopular line of toys).

Yes, Man-Thing was originally slated for theatrical release, was decided to go straight to DVD, then bypassed that and went straight to basic cable.

Yes, the movie was that dumb. Which means comic fans will choose this particular movie to champion and claim "it wasn't that bad." My friends, it was, in fact, that bad. It might even be Mansquito bad.

So it's been a pretty slow weekend. Not that I mind.

Lots of basketball all weekend. Lots of cleaning. Lots of comic book reading, and quite a few movies.

1) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. never saw it before. Actually lived up to the hype. I'd been avoiding this one as too many people told me it was "so good." Usually this is a big turn-off for me as it raises expectations that movies normally can't match. But I saw it without going out of my way to see it, and I did enjoy it quite a bit. Well directed, extremely well-written, and well-played. Anyway, I'm glad I saw it. Jim D. was correct again.

2) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Decent, but not great. It's been 15+ years since I read the books, so I was hoping it would feel fresh. Unfortunately, after the opening credits, the movie never really took off for me. It felt almost like an episode of a particularly good TV show. But not like a particularly good movie.

Additional note: Two different previews of note. a) Serenity. I never saw the original show, Firefly. But this movie looks very interesting. b) Herbie: Fully Loaded. Further co-opting my rock n' roll youth, this trailer features not only the lovable VW of my youth, but also a portion of Jane's Addiction's 1990 tune, "Stop". Anyway, I probably won't see Herbie: Fully Loaded, but it looks like they are making good use of modern movie making technology to breathe new life into a concept I thought was great when I was six. I hope a lot of six year olds see this flick.

3) Show Boat. I'd never seen this, either. I enjoyed it, I guess. I liked the numbers, costumes and whatnot. The end resolution of the movie totally left me scratching my head. But everyone in the movie could sing and dance. Better than, say, Cop Rock. Not as good as, say, West Side Story.

4) McClintock! This is probably the fifth time I've seen this movie, and everytime I see it, I'm absolutely wowed by the overt sexism, the celebration of which is kind of the point of the whole movie. It's sort of a last gasp of a by-gone era, and, indeed, the cultural zeitgeist of the the period in which the film was made trickles right into the movie. I dunno. For some reason I watch this movie over and over.

Suns played a great game tonight, especially the first quarter. I did get a little nervous at some point in the second quarter, but all-in-all, it was a superior effort. Their best hope in round two is that the Rockets and Mavs beat up on each other so badly that whomever passes on into the next round is all worn out and can't play.

Next weekend The League's Berkely Office is coming in for a visit. Brother-in-law Doug is coming on in for a visit. We're sure to have a rollicking good time as Doug is more fun a bag of chimpanzees. I hope we can keep him properly entertained.

Needless to say, we needed to clean the floor of all puppy-slime before Doug arrives. I am looking forward to the combination of Doug plus Lucy plus Mel plus Jeff. And just wait until we enter the RoboSapien into the mix. Should be fun.

Anyhow, hope all of you guys had a good weekend.

Suns win game 4!

Spurs win.
Rockets lose.

Urgh...

Yao, c'mon, man.

Suns win game 3.

Jackass.

I have a love/hate/non-existent relationship with Donald "Rummy" Rumsfeld. I hate the way he invaded a country on false pretenses and/ or bad intelligence. But I love his wacky spirit and penchant for tech-vests.

Now, I have one more reason to love the man. Rummy is slumming with Marvel Superheroes.

Marvel is a pretty hip company, and they're doing the right thing by printing 1 million free comics created specifically for our troops around the world. As one would guess, reading material can be hard to come by in the deserts of Afghanistan and Iraq, so Marvel is doing what it can with the limited resources of what their company can provide.

Read up on it here at Newsarama.

I might add that this is not quite the same sort of hokey side project that comic companies are famous for. Example: Jeff Shoemaker once gave me a "Spider-Man meets the Dallas Cowboys" comic which I still treasure. Apparently it was a give-away at Cowboys games in the early 80's. However, you can just imagine how much effort was actually put forth by Marvel on THAT one. (I love the Cowboys... I love Spider-Man... What could go wrong? Oh, I see.....)

An extra special note for Doug: Marvel isn't flying solo on the hokey give-away comics. Superman once required the assistance of a pair of kiddies and their TRS-80 in order to save Metropolis. Really. A TRS-80.

This new comic is written and drawn by Marvel's top-flight talent, so bully for Marvel for putting on their A-game for pro-bono work.

Aside from Marvel showing their genuine appreciation to our brave soldiers around the globe, the other good spilling forth is that the whole thing has given Rummy a chance to hang with Captain America and Spidey.


You know, I wish more superheroes would join me on stage when I have to make a presentation.

Mrs. League here, crawling out of bed to post this edition of:

COSTUMES THAT SHOULD NOT BE

Thanks to Doug for the link. Slinking back to bed now....

HAPPY 5th ANNIVERSARY TO MR. and MRS. LEAGUE

In honor of the 5th anniversary and 5 years of wedded bliss, I present to you the lyrics to "In Spite of Ourselves", by John Prine and performed by John Prine and Iris Dement. Be forewarned, oh Leaguers of a gentle constitution, some of the lyrics are a bit racy, but it's all in good fun. And if you aren't still a bit racy after 5 years of marriage, it's going to be a long, long marriage.

In Spite of Ourselves

She don't like her eggs all runny
She thinks crossin' her legs is funny
She looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the Easter Bunny
She's my baby I'm her honey
I'm never gonna let her go

He ain't got laid in a month of Sundays
I caught him once and he was sniffin' my undies
He ain't too sharp but he gets things done
Drinks his beer like it's oxygen
He's my baby
And I'm his honey
Never gonna let him go

In spite of ourselves
We'll end up a'sittin' on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we're the big door prize
We're gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes.

She thinks all my jokes are corny
Convict movies make her horny
She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs
Swears like a sailor when shaves her legs
She takes a lickin'
And keeps on tickin'
I'm never gonna let her go.

He's got more balls than a big brass monkey
He's a wacked out werido and a lovebug junkie
Sly as a fox and crazy as a loon
Payday comes and he's howlin' at the moon
He's my baby I don't mean maybe
Never gonna let him go

In spite of ourselves
We'll end up a'sittin' on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we're the big door prize
We're gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes.
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes.

(spoken) In spite of ourselves

Not much to report, and I'm not feeling particularly creative today.

Now Jamie is down with my cold from last week. She's trying to be a trooper, but, man... bad colds just ruin you. Not being able to breathe is a total drag.

My brother (Adventures of Steanso) is headed off to New Orleans for Jazz Fest. It's sort of a big roving party across New Orleans as near as I can tell. He's wanted to go for years, so I wish him luck. His legal scheming only works in Texas, so he must be more careful than usual in the great state of Louisiana.

I'm finally back at work. I feel like I haven't been there much lately as one of us is always sick. Luckily, it's not my busy time, and I've been there long enough to be familiar with the ebb and flow of some of the stuff which used to give me hives.

I was reading Maxwell's recent entry regarding her struggle with a prose work she's dealing with outside the world of blogging and her online public persona. Sounds like she's tearing herself up working on thsi thing, and I think that's a good sign. If writing were easy, we'd all be reading Golden Girls scripts.

It got me to thinking about a prose bit I mess with once in a blue moon. I started work on it in roughly 1996 or so. School, work, marriage and smelly dogs have all conspired against me to keep me from ever really completing the thing. Let alone getting past the turning point for Act I.

I am most certainly struggling with many of the issues Maxwell describes (albeit, in no way in such a colorful manner as Maxwell), but just hearing her describe the specifics of what she's struggling with informs me that her story already sounds much, much better than my own. And while that drives me mad with jealousy, after following her NYC based adventures, learning maxwell is crafting what sounds like a fantastic story comes as no real surprise. She can write, she can.

I confess that I have often pondered how much further along I might be with the prose-thing if I spent an 1/4th of the time on the prose-thing as I spend entertaining you jerks. In addition, thanks to the the extremely long period of time I've spent dinking with this nonsense, I've been in an odd situation of passing from goofy college-guy to goofy working-guy, all while working on the same tale.

Experience has provided me with a wider view of the world, which certainly helps to color characters and situations in a different hue. But "maturity" (or whatever you want to call it) also makes you take a step back and look at what you wrote, and wonder "Did I really think that? Was that a situation I would ever write today?" So in a lot of ways, I'm glad I started when I did. And I'm glad I have a different perspective to bring to the table than I did in 1996, 1997 or whenever I first started.

I like to think it's all about character motivation when you're trying to tell a story. You can't tell any story without knowing exactly what every character in every scene is looking for or wants. It's not just a nifty acting tip, it's what writes your dialog for you, it's the weirdness that occurs when you hear writers saying "I don't know. The characters just started talking to me and acting on their own."

It's probably the number one thing to drive me beserk when I'm watching a movie or television program (because I don't think it happens nearly as much in books or plays as those are usually written by a single person). The verisimilitude is broken when characters simply act, but not in a way which serves their stated motivation. Especially when that act is a lynch-pin for carrying a story forward... ugh. Really, I think series television such as X-Files, Smallville, etc... are probably the worst offenders, but that's due to a bullpen of writers and changing technical staff week after week.

But after this extended period, it's tough to remember the motivations I started with, especially as you start imagining lumping in story element after story element. And unlike writing a screenplay, narrative economy is not the watchword in prose. Nor should it be. But it's also tough to balance what is necessary story, what is interesting flourish, and what is a precious baby you dreamed up which you're going to have to kill to make sure the story keeps moving. Prose certainly gives you more of an opportunity to keep those darlings around, but it's tough to know when you're really enhancing and when you're just babbling.

Like most writers who aren't real writers, I've flatly refused to allow anyone to read the damn thing as I'm an overprotective freak, and I take criticism only so well. Jamie looked it over, but she knows she has to live with me, so she's got to be nice.

So two weeks ago I handed the thing over to Steanso, who cares not a lick for my feelings, and who is going to know best where I'm going with the whole thing without a treatment or outline in his hand.

His review?

"Dude, I keep sitting down to read it and then I fall asleep."

Not exactly inspriring, but it speaks volumes. I have not written a gripping tale, but he's a nice enough guy to at least TRY to finish reading the pages.

I do await his comments, because it's worth knowing whether or not what you've slogging away on is tolerable to the average literate mammal. You can't take a little comment like "and then I fall asleep" to heart. You have to find out WHY he's falling asleep. And then decide if it's worth fixing or wandering off to move on to a different project (I've always wanted to try widdling).

I should say: Jason is also known to take his sweet-assed time to do everything, from returning movies to reading your latest opus. And if you can't take the honest word of your own brother, Sweet Christmas... who can you listen to?

I'll probably continue after hearing his input. At this point, I feel almost a biological need to push this mutant baby out. But one thing I learned in school, you can't just write in a vaccuum and assume your words drip with genius. You need brutally honest folks around who aren't afraid to tell you exactly why you suck. You need to listen, decide if what the critic is saying is worth a damn, or if they brought their own troubles to your work, and then move forward.

And sometimes, you need to realize you might not be the genius you thought you were and move on with your life.

Anyhoo, this has turned into a fine little entry.

In other news, despite a luke-warm performance, The Phoenix Suns are once again victorious. But they have to start playing real defense if they plan to finish this series, let alone succeed in the next round.

In a fascinating turn of events, Maxwell has stumbled into the weird, wicked world of the internet and current events.

Check out this most recent entry from Cowgirl Funk.

BATMAN BEGINS NEW TRAILER

Hey, kids...

MTV.com has a new trailer up for Batman Begins. The trailer is only Windows Media. So get out your Bill Gates emulators, Mac Users.

Read up on the movie and view the trailer here.

Thank God Batman didn't have to go up against Wesley Willis. We all know how that turns out.

In other Bat-related events... after the Rockets victory last night I attempted to watch the 1949 serial of Batman and Robin, which i re-joined Netflix specifically to check out. That, and I want to see House of Flying Daggers without paying full price for a DVD.

Let me begin by saying: The suit worn by Batman in this serial isn't nearly as menacing as it is sort of adorable. It looks like it was made by a second grader. Instead of Bat-ears, Batman sort of has these goofy cloth pegs coming off of his head. "Menacing" was clearly not the direction they were headed. You can't really get the full effect without seeing Batman in profile.


Batman and Robin ponder moving their secret headquarters out of a cave and into the sunroom out back

Also, it becomes painfully clear in the first fight scene how unweildy capes would be in an actual fist-fight.

I am not sure I have the stamina to make it through all 15 chapters of this epic. After all, each chapter is quite a bit longer than I figured on. Nonetheless, it is an interesting bit of archival Bat-fun, and the serial is closer to the comics of the time than I would have guessed.

The guy who plays Bruce Wayne is pretty good and certainly looks the part. His convenient excuse whenever he needs to slip away and become Batman? "I'm quite tired." The frequency with which he uses the excuse would, in today's world, have Bruce's friends insisting he receive treatment for chronic fatigue syndrome.

The plot revolves around a mad-scientist type called "The Wizard" who is using an amazing device which can control any vehicle by remote. He's using it, of course, to steal diamonds, which the machine needs to run (no explanation given on how that works, but it is also, coincidentally, the same way Mr. Freeze's Cold-Suit works). So, The Wizard has his machines and minions out stealing diamonds in order to make sure the machine will run. Circular logic, I assure you, but the Wizard seems to have something even more sinsiter up his sleeve.

The girl who plays Vicki Vale is a cute, spunky photographer who, we are told, suspects Bruce is Batman, but doesn't get suspicious when he, say, dumps her off on the roadside after hearing an explosion, saying he must go catch a quick nap.

Robin is there, but, honestly, the actor seems either distracted or drunk. He's sort of a goofy looking guy, too, and probably 5-10 years too old to be anybody's ward. He also looks liek he's about to get his ass handed to him every time a fight scene breaks out.

Anyway, it's all in good fun.

So today sucked.

Lucy is having tummy trouble, and so I had to take her once again to the vet. I'm several hundred bucks out after an X-ray, medicine, blah blah blah...

And that's the tough thing about puppies. You can't ask them what's wrong, you just have to sort of hope the vet can put all the pieces together. Anyway, the x-ray came back fine, which means she didn't eat a rock or something. She's had lab work done, so now I'm waiting for that blood work to come back. Apparently she also had a worm of some sort, so she needed medicine for that.

Man.

She's an expensive little bug.

Anyway, she seems to be doing better, but she's going to spend tonight and tomorrow in her kennel. I'm just a little too overprotective.

Thanks to my second trip to the vet in as many working days, I missed ANOTHER day of work. I hate missing work this much. It's so hard to keep up and make up what you missed.

At least my cold is getting better.

Jim has confirmed Flash Gordon for the movie screenings in Beaumont on July 23rd.

Leaguers, if that can't get you there, I don't know what will.

Honestly, I never saw Flash Gordon until I was in college. And in a lot of ways, I'm glad it took me that long to see it. I think it took a little perspective for me to really just sit back and enjoy that flick.

Anyway, 2:12 left in the Dallas/ Houston play-off game #2 in Dallas. No surprise I'm pulling for Houston. Although Sura still bugs me for some reason. Why is that?

Oh, and there was an ad on during the game for some cellular service, and Top Notch Burger from Burnet in Austin was in the ad. They framed the shot so you couldn't tell it was in the middle of suburbia and were suggesting, if you are at Top Notch, you can't get cellular service. I suppose it doesn't matter that they picked an Austin landmark in the rest of the country, but it did throw me off. Hope I catch the commercial again, because I couldn't figure out where the next shots were done.

Damn, this game won't end. Time-outs never feel this long at the actual game thanks to the Gorilla and the cheerleaders and whatnot.

2.2 seconds left, and T-Mac made an incredible shot. Will Avery Johnson just punch Van Horn in the head? I would.

Ha ha... I hate Mark Cuban. What a dork.

Here's his blog.

Hey, the Rockets won! Dallas is sad. Perhaps the ball on Reunion tower will quit spinning. I went there once when I was six. My parents kept giving me shrimp. I love shrimp.

T-Mac is hilarious. He always looks bored, even when he's destroying Mark Cuban's good humor. Oh, happy Houston fans still hanging out with dejected Dallas fans.

Yao kicked ass tonight. He is a happy genetic freak.

Hurray, Rockets!

So, this past week will surely go down in my personal history as The Week of General Annoyance and Chaos.

Returning home from last weekend's wedding, I felt a bit drained. Tuesday by lunch, I pretty much knew I was not going to make it to work on Wednesday (especially when, in the middle of sentences, my throat would sort of quit making noises, and I sounded like someone was turning my personal volume up and down).

Wednesday I stayed home, tried to take it easy, and generally felt pretty lousy.

Thursday I went to work, felt awful, skipped out early and I have no idea what I did or said Monday, Tuesday or Thursday while I was in the office.

Thursday night around 4:30 a.m., Lucy began hacking with a horrible cough. She's a puppy, and, naturally, I totally wigged out. But at the same time, my vet's office doesn't even open until 8:00, and aside from the hacking cough, she seemed fine. "It's Kennel Cough," Jamie and I decided and went back to bed to try to sleep.

At 8:00 I finally got ahold of the vet, got an appointment for 11:30, realized I was still pretty sick, and flopped on the couch.

By 9:30, Lucy was now no longer coughing. She was just hopping about in the yard looking happy as a clam.

At 11:10 I tossed her in the portable kennel and got her to the vet. The only coughing she would do was when she would pull too hard on her collar. "Oh, it's kennel cough," they said. Told me it's viral, sucks to be me, and told me to wait it out. I got an anti-biotic (in case it wasn't viral) and was told to give my puppy robitussin. Seriously.

Lucy hasn't coughed since.

That didn't keep her from crying for no reason at 12:00 Friday night, which got her butt kicked outside until the next morning.

Saturday Jamie got up before me, made pancake batter, woke me up, told me it was pancake time. We had lovely pancakes.

I was still sipping my tea when she leaped up and began cleaning the dishes. After washing and drying the large, class cutting board, she took a sharp left turn from the sink to put the cutting board onto the island and turned directly into the open dishwasher door. This has the effect of putting a massive hole in her leg that was gross and bloody.

To her credit, 1) Jamie put the cutting board down square on the counter. 2) She never yelled, or cried or passed out. And believe me, this gash was worth yelling, crying and passing out about.

Long story short, we lost Saturday at the emergency room while Jamie got sutures in her leg to make sure she didn't unravel like a cheap sweater.

After we got back from the ER, we more or less took it easy.

Last night we saw Kung Fu Hustle, which is, Leaguers, the best entertainment for your dollar in the cinema at this moment. Great action, very funny, and a pretty good story.

I never saw Kill Bill (either Vol. 1 or 2), and I sort of got the feeling that the scenes with Lucy Liu must have lifted bits from Kung Fu Hustle. If anyone has seen both movies, let me know.

The day, today, went fine. Ran some errands. Bought some pants (khaki and olive) and a belt (black, leather, gold finish belt buckle) and an official Amare Stoudemire jersey I found on sale for half off.

And how did this come in handy? Leaguers, Mr. and Mrs. League spent this glorious evening witnessing Game 1 of Round 1 for the Phoenix Suns in the 2005 NBA Play-Offs.

Boo-yah.

The Grizzlies played a good game, but just didn't have it in them to defeat the mighty Phoenix Suns in this game. Game 2 might be another story. Tonight, however, The Suns landed a 114-103 win.

(What the @%$& happened to the Spurs, man? Let me tell you, The Purple Palace went beserk when they heard that score announced.)

Sadly, our seats were surrounded by many more children this time than the previous game, and some sweet, white haired ladies two rows down, so I felt compelled to self-edit before shouting at the refs, Grizzlies, and the Gorilla.

And, before you ask... no, the half-time show was not the Blues Bothers again. But, they did keep a theme of blue. This game had The Blue Man Group at half-time. These guys were actually pretty fun. Unfortunately, nobody will ever get me to pay for Blue Man tickets in the future now that I have seen them more or less for free.

Anyhow, my voice is gone and I'm still in a good mood, despite my otherwise jacked-up week.

Suns in the play-offs. Hurray!