I've been watching some of the shows on E! or VH1 or one of the entertainment networks, and the latest trend seems to be a return to the "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous", without the charm and wonder of 80's gadfly Robin Leach.

Instead, the format of the new shows sort of uses the "I Heart the (Decade's)" with Q-level entertainers sort of waxing unfunny about the bizarre goings-on of celebrities. The basic trend I'm now noting, no doubt late tot he party, is that basic cable spends an inordinate amount of programming celebrating the mundane luxuries of the unfortunately privileged. And the only two things which keep the have-nots from freaking out and having France 1789 happen in the here and now are 1) the fact that we've got TV to keep us warm and happy, and 2) we have a deep seeded belief that, with the right lotto ticket or if someone saw our real potential, that would be us with the fleet of Hummers. And WE don't want to be executed for installing an HDTV in our bathtub.

The shows highlight the bizarrely extravagant parties thrown for rich people's kids (at, like, age 2, when they'd be just as happy playing in a tub full of mud), how they spoil their pets, their opulent beach homes, etc...

The show which really makes me really start reconsidering Marxism is "Filthy Rich Cattle Drive". A program in which 19 year old kids are complaining about the thread-count of the linens they get at a cattle ranch and threaten to involve attorneys when asked to do the dishes.

Look, I'm a privileged suburban kid, too. But there's definitely a point at which you sort of aren't just saying, "Boy, I wish I had their money." Instead, you start saying, "My GOD, this person is a moron. How did they amass this wealth to begin with without blowing it all on gum and pinwheels?," or, alternately, "Can't this freak's parents see what a moron their kid is?"

My new resolution for the upcoming Fall is, when the show I am watching on E! (usually The Soup) ends, I will locate the remote and turn off the TV instead of writing off the show as background noise while I do whatever. Obviously I'm watching these shows enough that they're bugging me.


Anyhoo, we had a good weekend. It was hot as a bastard here in the Valley of the Sun, which was fine. I had to actually do some work over the weekend, and we're watching our pennies these days. Today we went to the first birthday party of Isaac N., Ryan "Good Ryan" and Trisha's kid. It was really my first kid's birthday party, and it was actually a lot of fun. Take cake, add baby, plus sheet of plastic, hilarity ensues. Anyway, we got Isaac a Richard Scary book, a book which investigated the various sounds farm animals make (from their mouths, people), and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I sort of want my own copy of the Richard Scary book, but I can't find a good way to justify buying it. It's actually a pretty neat book, and I like Richard Scary's very busy illustrations.


I just realized I never wrote Nathan's 5 questions. Gotta run.

Hey, what could trump the great Pepsi Holiday Spice Challenge, or the CHicken Fries Extreme Taste Test?

Oh, boy... 'Twas Randy who located the proper taste test to end all taste tests.

Folks, check out "Steve, Don't Eat It!" from weblog, "The Sneeze".

To try to recount Steve's trials and tribulations here would only be a disservice.

Go here to see what Steve is willing to eat.

ENORMOUS ANNOUNCEMENT FOR LEAGUE OF MELBOTIS READERS:

Melbotis Perkins (AKA: Melly, AKA: Mel, AKA: Smelly Melly, AKA: Buster Brown)
shall henceforth be known as Diddy.

He's just tired of people not knowing what to call him.

Propah!

Work is work. Not much to report from back at League HQ where I've been getting up early for work and arriving home late this week as it's the first week of the semester and that makes The League a busy bee.

Last night I sat down on the bed to prevent Jamie from reading her book, and fell asleep at 9:20. I woke up again a fe wminutes later, but I was asleep by 10:00, and that is not assisting me in my contribution to the world of blogging.

Randy over at RHPT.com has not only given up on RHPT.com, he's re-directed his blog to this page. Which makes me wonder... If I redirect to RHPT.com....? Well, I'm pretty sure it would mean the end of the universe.

I am supposed to interview Nathan Cone in short order. Nathan, expect your questions this weekend.

There's been a lot of e-mail discussion about Six Feet Under concluding, and I'm proud of the producers for not trying to go on for ten years and just make a buck. It sounds like the show maintained its integrity right up to the end. Aside from "Small Wonder", I can't think of too many shows which went out on their own terms in quite the same way.

I did watch Six Feet Under for the first season and one-third of the second season. I missed an episode somewhere along the line, and when I came back to the show, I had no idea what was going on. Seriously, like one episode. Anyway, I moved shortly after that, didn't have HBO for a while, and never got back into it.

I also don't watch Sopranos, Deadwood, Lost, or any of the other programs which some people are hooked on like $5 crack. I'm just not much of one for episodic, hour-long TV. I even gave up on X-Files for the last season or two. Something about dedicating an hour a week to a show doesn't bug me. Dedicating 22 hours of my life to a network show or two... that sort of bugs me. That's the equivalent of half of an entire credit-bearing course at a semester-based university.

Watch two or three shows like that, and suddenly you should be getting some sort of associates degree.

Don't get me wrong, I am a bitch to the TV. Sadly, my favorite show right now is probably "Mythbusters" on Discovery. I also watch a lot of "Soul Train" on Saturdays on WGN. On Sunday mornings I try to tune into "Breakfast with the Arts" on Bravo rather than watching Russert, which I should probably be doing if I were more responsible.

I also will sit and watch an entire program simply because I can't believe it's on TV at all. "So You Think You Can Dance?" has almost drawn me into it's gyrating spell on numerous occasions.

Last night VH1 was running some programming from it's sister channel, VH1 classics. The show was called "Alternative" and featured videos pretty much from my middle and high-school era. Echo and the Bunnymen. Pixies. Love & Rockets. Basically, somebody raided the locker they kept the videos in from MTV's Sunday night show, 120 Minutes.

120 Minutes ran at a time when MTV figured its audience was probablya sleep, anyway, and they figured there wasn't much to lose by airing these videos that the "college rock" fans of the time could enjoy.

Younger Leaguers will be shocked and dismayed to learn that until 1992ish, there was no such term as "alternative rock". There was just rock. And some of it sold, and some it didn't. And some of it did well with college audiences, and it had it's own chart and everything. And then one day people quit sniffing glue long enough to realize that Vanilla Ice was just a horrible idea, and for some reason everyone decided to buy Pearl Jam's debut record and the album by the band with that "Teen Spirit" song, and voila! A new genre was coined by some coked-up record exec.

The funny thing about the show on VH1 was that it was referring to the videos they were showing (all of which were incredibly cheap looking by today's big budget standards) were incredibly unpopular at the time. Go back and check your Yearbook. Your school didn't vote for "Jesus Built My Hotrod" for class song. You guys all got together and voted for "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men. Shut up. Yes you did.

VH1 Classics is talking up some video by Peter Murphy, like this was what we were all listening to, but meanwhile "End of the Road" is popping up on one of VH1's endless "100 Worst Break Up Songs" specials, and everyone is having a good laugh, like that album wasn't flying off the shelf at every Sam Goody in the country in 1991.

But The League has a long memory. And we remember that you couldn't flip channels in the latter days of the Bush-41 administration without Garth Brooks or Color Me Badd lurking around every corner.

This was pop culture at the time. Only dusty old copies of Billboard Magazine survive to back up what I remember with crystalline clarity.

So is it great to see these videos? Sure! Is it somehow dirty and disingenuous of MTV Corp. to suggest they always backed these bands? I dunno. Somehow I really miss Dave Kendall sitting in his dark little studio trying to get you to stick with him for a full two hours.

And, hey, I found some bands I liked at the time through 120 Minutes. Lush. Charlatans UK. A few other things which never made the transfer from cassette to CD.

Hope all is well with all Leaguers, great and small.

I made a huge mistake at work sometime several months ago which I was completely unaware of. Until today. It was not fun. No sir, it was not.

Hope everyone popping by will just go down the blogroll. I really don't have time for much today.

It seems like I had a crackerjack idea for tonight, but I can't remember what it was in the slightest.

I am tired.

Dear Pat,

I don't want to tell you how to run your Bible show, but... quick review:

"Thou shalt not kill"
-God

Exodus 20: 13



Love,

The League

Hey, I am very, very busy with work, which means long days + tired = no serious blogging.

So, this is a mini-hiatus of sorts as I allow myself to not entertain you thankless jerks for a few days should I lack the time to properly blog.

Interview-Arama continues over on Cowgirl Funk as Maxwell answers the questions which are plaguing me.

Read here.

I shall soon interview Nathan "Attack of the" Cone. Keep yer eyes peeled.

The interview with Randy went so poorly that the fall-out has been to see Randy shut down his own site and disappear. I sort of am reminded of the Seinfeld episode with the dude who, when upset, would go into the woods, dig a hole, and sit in it.

So, anyway, thus far the result of the interviews has been a mixed bag. So, you know, who else wants to get interviewed?

Also, for those of you who are going to miss Six Feet Under (a show I used to watch, missed an episode, had no idea what was going on, and never came back), may I suggest: CATWOMAN?

Yup, the mom from Six Feet Under is in Catwoman. And since it's the best movie EVER, I highly suggest you check it out.

"THE JASON STEANS STORY" WORTH SEEING

The League and Mrs. League went to the 1:10pm show of "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" on Saturday.

The movie is not the stupid sex-comedy I sort of supposed it would be. Well, yeah, it sort of is, but it isn't Porky's or whatever.

Once again, I sat in the dark of the theater believing "there, but for the Grace of God, go I." Just check it out. You'll see.

The movie is not set in the same bizarro parallel universe as something like "Anchorman", but actually sort of grounds itself in some semblance of reality, even if it is a silly, silly movie. The acting is pretty good, but doesn't appear to be much of a stretch for anybody. Some scenes have the pacing of improvisation, and I am sure that was the case. And during the "waxing" scene from the trailer, Carrell comes dangerously close to breaking character. But, hey, it's pretty funny, anyway, and you get the distinct feeling the girl doing the waxing was not acting at all.

The lovely Catherine Keener is actually genuinely funny in a role which could easily have been typical romantic-interest dull (think any straight-woman in a Jim Carrey comedy), and Jane Lynch has a few really priceless scenes as well.

The movie may have dragged a bit for a few minutes as they decided to tie up the loose ends of the plot, but the ending... yes, the ending redeems anything which may have gone wrong. The League had tears streaming down his face.

Look, the language in the movie is pretty coarse, but I honestly believe it's funny because it's true. Sorry, ladies, it's true. While ultimately funnier than any conversation I think I ever had on the topics covered, there's some painful reality in all of this.

Steve Carrell and Judd Apatow have made a pretty darn good comedy, and I guess it might even be a romantic comedy, in it's own way. The League gives it, oh, 62 out of 75 Mels.

THE LEAGUE GOES TO SEE THE PHOENIX MERCURY

The League loves him some professional basketball. And tonight, The League and Mrs. League headed into town to see the Phoenix Mercury, our local WNBA team, take on the Minnesota Lynx.

The tickets, in comparison to an NBA game, were pretty inexpensive. Plus, I bought them on a special where I could also get a free hotdog and soda with each ticket with the "dinner and game" package. We were supposed to sit in the 11th row of section 104, but couldn't quite figure out the whole seating arrangement with the corner we were sitting in, and some nice folks, apparently regulars told us to just sit down. Apparently it doesn't really matter at the free-wheeling Mercury games what the seat assignment is on your ticket, what matters is that you just sit down.

The Mercury's record isn't very good. I think they're .500 for the season, but they've been playing much better since the European League (no relation) broke up for the summer and they got Kamila Vodichkova back.

Long story short, the Mercury wiped the floor with the Lynx this evening. Which was fun, but at the same time, it was such a blowout, it wasn't really a nail biter.

The audience is fairly small. They don't sell tickets for the upper tier of the arena as the audience isn't terribly large for live WNBA games, but it's a tight-knit group of fans. Who is the audience for the WNBA? Well, there are a lot of families at the games, a lot more than at Suns games, and especially a lot of families with girls. Also, ladies out for a night on the town. And the only two random dudes (a large portion of the Suns' audience) sitting next to us were cheering for The Lynx. Cheering very quietly as they were, literally, the only Lynx fans in the stadium.

There was also some crazy woman who, apparently, knew ahead of time about the Disneyland Vacation Giveaway, as she was standing center court at half-time dressed in mouse ears, black nose, red pants and big, white Mickey gloves. In a way, it was kind of creepy. Luckily, she won the trip or I would have felt really, really bad for her.

Anyway, we don't get out a whole lot, but for once we did. And on a Sunday, no less.

Play-offs start soon, and I THINK the Mercury are in the play-offs. We'll see.

HEY

I KNOW I've mentioned these things before, but Steven G. Harms e-mailed me the other day to point out the latest installment of Bryan Singer's video diary on the upcoming movie, Superman Returns.

It's a peach.

Click here for a wide selection of choices for viewing format.

People keeping asking, and, yes... the new movie is a sequel of sorts to the 1970's-era Superman films, Superman: The Movie and Superman II.

My sources tell me that neither Richard Pryor nor John Cryer will be making an appearance.

The League Presents

THE RHPT INTERVIEW

You guys know Randy as RHPT, but did you know...?

In some patients with kidney disease a complex sequence of events can cause the parathyroid glands to become overactive and produce too much hormone. This leads to an excess of calcium in the blood, most of which is drawn from the bones which are thereby damaged. Some of this excess calcium may be deposited in other structures such as blood vessel walls where it may cause damage. This sequence of events is known as renal hyperparathyroidism (RHPT). RHPT may persist even when the original damage to the kidney as been corrected by dialysis or by transplantation.

read more here

As many of you may have read, Maxwell interviewed The League just the other day. Part of the routine is, of course, that once interviewed, you should try to interview others.

So I interviewed Maxwell (expect results on Monday over at Cowgirl Funk), and RHPT. RHPT has popped up quickly with his answers to my FIVE probing questions. Here, against my better judgement, I am posting Randy's responses in full.

1) You've long known Jim D. What, exactly, was Jim like in high school? Because he sounds a bit like George Will with a good record collection.

Jim D. in high school was very similar to Jim D. now, except there was a lot less faux cynicism and angst. I think Jim tried very hard to be Rob Gordon from High Fidelity. In fact, he was sort of a "hanger-on" to one particular high school band that some of his friends formed. I think Jim got his pick of the looked over groupies and/or mistreated girlfriend(s).

Three particular moments from high school, involving Jim sticks in my mind.

1) Days after convincing my parents to let me drive to school solo, Jim asked for a ride home. Trying to display my newfound coolness, I agreed. However, on the way to Jim's home, I was involved in a fender-bender (due to, if I recall correctly, trying to switch radio stations after Jim turned the dial). As you can imagine, I freaked out. Jim, being such a good buddy, ditched me and hitched a ride home with another friend who happened to be passing by the scene of the accident. Leaving me alone and scared.

2) During my junior year, the Journalism teacher, Ms. Cummins, was considering making me co-editor of The Oracle for the next school year. Jim, having been the sole editor during the past year, convinced Ms. Cummins to give me the title "Managing Editor" instead.

3) Jim drove a blue and white van during his later high school years. He used to tote me around town in it, and, being a van, it was fairly roomy, so I would occasionally put my feet up on the dash. Jim never said anything about it. However, once, while driving in my old '82 Celica, Jim props his feet up on my dash, leaving a big old nasty shoe mark. I got the hint.

4) In his first semester as editor of the aforementioned Oracle, Jim bored every student in the school with a 4-page insert about the 1992 Republican National Convention held at the Astrodome. (I think Jim had a press pass or something), and he followed that up with another 4-page insert about liberal elitism in the media. Heavy stuff. Of course, Jim also managed to get a press pass to the '92 Lollapalooza (you know, the good one), and out of every high school paper in the country, we probably had the best review of the concert. (To this day, I still do not know how Jim received those passes).

Jim also bought most of my CD collection at bargain basement prices ("The Great CD Purge of 1992", as he likes to call it). I think I used most the money to buy comics, but I don't think that has any relevance to the question.

2) You awaken with mysterious powers.
a) What are they?
b) Would you tell anyone?
c) Would you use them for good or evil?
d) Would you let me give you a cool code-name?

• I would have the "Fold-powers" like Arno in The Fermata
• Most likely, I would tell no one
• I would probably use my powers for evil - until Emily finds out and makes me use them for good.
• Sure, why not? (editor's note: All righty, Mr. Pause)

3) You are 16 but suddenly have all the knowledge you currently store. However, the Magic Fairy tells you that you cannot merely use this knowledge for financial gain. What three things would you do differently?

• I would not act like such a creepy dork and dressed better
• I would have insisted to my parents on going to Seattle University
• I would not have had such an inferiority complex

4) You get to punch one celebrity. Free hit. Whom do you hit and why? Also, head or gut?

Unlike Jim, I am not opposed to celebrities. I tend to find them bemusing, and through People and US magazine, I live through them vicariously. So this is a difficult question, because there is no one celebrity that I just can't stand, no matter how obnoxious they act in public, because it is my belief that you, me, or Jim would probably act the same way if we were suddenly a famous person in Hollywood. However, if I had to pick, it would be the entire cast of Jackass, Viva La Bam, WildBoyz, and any other persons who has a show with a similar theme. Those are the most obnoxious shows on earth. I would bash them all over the head with a two-ton heavy thing.

5) What makes Randy tick? What gets Randy up in the morning? What keeps Randy from spiraling into the depths of despair? What makes Randy as gleeful as a little girl?

• Randy gets up in the morning because the prospects of being poor and homeless scare him to death.
• Psychotropic drugs. Lots of 'em.
• In the words of Hannibal Smith, "I love it when a plan comes together"

THE END


Want to play?

The Official Interview Game Rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below asking to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Editor's note: You can request to be interviewed by RHPT.com, The League, or both.

Ahhh... Dave's Long Box.

Dave recently answered a meme, and things sort of spun, uhmmm...

Anyway, somehwere in the post and comments it was decided that "Airwolf" should be the new slang for "awesome" or "cool". It's totally @#$%ing Airwolf.

Read here.

And apparently Dave and I watch a lot of the same crap TV.

Blip #1: Well, due to the most pointless debate in the history of man I have going on via e-mail with my brother, I have no time to really blog.

Blip #2: In a strange continuation of the BK Chicken Fry Taste-Test Challenge, it appears that suburban rock gods, Slipknot, are suing Burger King.

Why? Burger King's ads feature a chicken themed band named Coq Roq, which is sort of a bad Nu-Metal band with a horror-chicken theme. It's actually pretty funny. Well, I know nothing about Slipknot except that the surly kids of Chandler, AZ seem to wear T-shirts with their name on them. I assumed they were another band like Korn or some other bunch of chubby dudes with bad dreads and a love for Twinkies (when did metal bands get chubby?)

It turns out that Slipknot uses costumes and stuff when they sing. And, apparently, nobody ever did this before. Not Gwar, not Kiss, nor Alice Cooper or Marilyn Manson or the cast of Starlight Express.

Read up on the case here.

Why do I hope this is the first case Roberts has to hear if he's confirmed for the Supreme Court?

Also, thanks to Jim D for the link. This really should have wound up on Nanostalgia. Would have made for a good entry.

Blip #3: Randy sent me the answers to the 5 questions I sent him, and, Leaguers, this is good stuff. Unfortunately, for some reason, Randy sent his answers in a PDF file, and I can't seem to extract the copy out as text. I keep getting weird, garbled code when I try to copy and paste the interview.

Let's hope Randy is willing to send the interview back as .txt or something.

Blip #4: Maxwell is also answering 5 deeply probing questions. But she also shot my first question back at me.

Here it is

1)

a) What is the one question you are praying to God that I am not going to ask?

b) What is the one question you're sort of secretly hoping I'll ask?


Answer A: Well, after having watched The Office last night, I must turn to the question posed by Michael Scott on last night's episode of the office "Okay, real quick. Let's all go around the room and name another race we're sexually attracted to."

See, that would have been awkward.

Honestly, asking me anything personal about my lovelife prior to Jamie probably would have had me choosing my words very, very carefully.

Answer B: I don't think I had one. It's nice to have questions to stroke your ego, and the wide and varied questions regarding high school gave me enough of a chance to talk about myself in minute detail, and if I didn't want to do that, would I be running this site, let alone asking to be interviewed? I dunno. Something about career, maybe. Only my job doesn't make for good reading, so I don't know.

The Interview

Over at Cowgirl Funk a friend recently interviewed Maxwell. The format: 5 questions of the interviewee's choosing.

Read the interview here

At the end of the interview, Maxwell suggested that anyone else who wanted to play could post to the comments section. Totally without any ideas for content this week, I opted in. Also, I was deadly curious to hear what questions Maxwell would toss The League's way.

This is how the interview went down:

1. I heard you like comic books. Oh, I don't know, a little bird told me. Do you remember getting your first comic book? (And if not, tell us about the first one you remember.) Where did you buy it? What
was the story line? Etc.

The first comic I remember reading was a Bugs Bunny comic book where he was singing "I Dream of the Genie with the Long Pink Ears". I didn't get the joke. But I liked the pictures and I could hear the character's voices in my head as I read along. No idea where it came from. I just had it.

The first non-kiddie comic I remember was either an adaptation of “The Last Starfighter” or “Clash of the Titans”. I didn’t actually see Clash of the Titans until high school, but I knew the whole movie back and forth from reading and re-reading the Marvel Comics adaptation. The art was fairly good, and the story really lended itself to the comic format. I think I got it through Troll Book Order.

The first superhero comic I remember reading was probably a DC 80 Page Giant with a lead story about the Teen Titans. The story was that all of the adult superheroes had died or disappeared and only the Teen Titans were left to fight the bad guys. I have no idea what the comic was, but I do remember being totally freaked out by the death of all the adult superheroes. If anyone could ever tell me what that comic was, I’d be eternally grateful.

The comic which got me to begin following a comic (and I am ashamed to admit this) was West Coast Avengers #13. Some dude named Gravitron was working with other supervillains using the various forces inside of a atom (Gravity, Strong force, Weak Force, Electro magnetic force).

I think I got both this comic and the Teen Titans comic at the Chicago airport.

None of this held a candle to X-Men #210 which launched me into a lifetime of obsessive behavior.

What is the best superpower ever and which superhero uses it?

The best super power is probably being able to show no discernable talent and still have your own TV show and best selling album, and that honor goes to both Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

Most of the powers are pretty self-explanatory, but in the 90's, you sort of had to like Kid Eternity. Kid Eternity's weird-ass power was to be able to summon dead people from the afterlife to assist him in his adventures. Stuck on a physics problem: BAM! Nikola Tesla at your service.

Shade the Changing Man's power was that he was crazy, and whatever craziness he was perceiving would become reality around him. I think. The book eventually collapsed in a black hole of it's own weirdness. Actually, the 90's was a great era for Vertigo-style weirdo's, wasn't it?


2. My ten year high school reunion just happened.
Naw, I didn't go, but it got me thinking about the early 90's. You know, you were there. Answer these questions from the perspective of high school you.

Favorite shoes: Being a complete bad-ass in high-school, I wore only cool shoes. I had the pre-req Doc’s and Chuck’s, but I honestly really liked wearing black, high-top Nikes. I admit, I still but new ones every once in a while. The early 90's continue to thrive on the feet of Ryan Steans.

Favorite shirt: 90’s? Oh, whatever concert shirt I thought made me look the most alt-rock. I had a very worn out Jane’s Addiction shirt I was quite fond of. Also, any solid black t-shirt was welcome. Yes, I was "that guy". Trying depsrately to be dark and mysterious, but, like everyone else, it's hard to be too tortured when you have doting parents and college-plans.

Favorite book I had to read: Like an assignment? I was the only person in my class who I think liked Scarlet Letter. But that’s probably because I deeply enjoy anything about people with red-letters printed on their chest. Also, I like reading about tramps.

I have little memory of what we were forced to read. I like Huckleberry Finn.

Favorite place to take a girl out for dinner: Well, The League was not a man of great means, and was more or less locked into taking 1 girl most places for most of high school. And we sort of don’t remember. It was probably the Bennigan’s at I-45 and 1960. Jesus, Spring was @#$%ing lame.

There was nowhere to go back then, and as I had a regular girlfriend I was footing the bill for, I was also the frugal boyfriend.

Favorite place to eat with my family: Marco’s! We all loved Marco’s Mexican Restaurant! Sure, we all got horrible gas and we all knew the stories about the recycled chips and we all knew people who worked there who would look really, really bored. But there was never any wait, I knew the menu backward and forward and it was loud enough that it drowned out the honking sounds my family tends to make when we're all at a single table.

Favorite before rehearsal snack: I’m not sure, specifically, what I liked to eat, but I do remember if I knew I had a kissing scene to work on that day I would eat a bag of “FunYuns” before rehearsal. I also would get the sandwiches from the gas station over by North Hampton. Also, Fritos.

Best band ever, man: I was all about the Jane’s Addiction in high school. My mother was always very upset with my Jane’s Addiction posters. Pixies, Violent Femmes, Siouxsie, The Cure, Pink Floyd and a host of less memorable bands. These days, Jane’s Addiction makes me sad. I mean, Dave Navarro, what sort of VH1 whore have you become?

It has been very strange to see Jane's Addiction become a standard for frat boys over the years. I sort of wish I'd done more than just watch 120 minutes to pick my bands.

I made a mix tape yesterday.
It started with: The Cure, “Killing an Arab”
It ended with: Pixies “Digging for Fire”

For lunch today I had: The hot lunch, whatever that was. I never liked the KO snack bar with the burgers and pizza. Also, the KO snack machines had these banana-flavored Hostess Pies that nobody else in the school liked. About once a week I’d get one of those. And every single day I tortured my dentist by getting a pack of “Now & Laters” from the book store.

Later I'm gonna watch: I didn’t watch normal TV in high school. I didn’t know what Home Improvement was until it went into syndication. Big, big fan of “USA Up All Night” movies and “Mystery Science Theater 3000”. I watched the Channel 2 News every night and I had a pathological hatred of former weatherman, Doug Johnston. That guy is such a @#$%.

This weekend I'm going to Lowes to see: Anything that comes to Lowes I perceive to be sort of snooty. Sadly, this is Lowes, so that means going to see something like “Dances With Wolves”. We also bypassed Lowes and drove up to the AMC at Greens Crossing.

The other day, the craziest thing happened: I learned that the Green Room in the theater is clothing optional. Other items I’m going to have to plead the 5th on. I am kicking myself trying to think of something crazy which I feel would be appropriate for my mother-in-law's reading pleasure, and nothing is coming to me.


There's this one janitor that likes to hug people: And I tried to hide from her under the benches in the lobby of the auditorium, but she grabbed my belt and literally drug me out from under the bench to give me a hug. And when I mentioned it to my parents, I found out weeks and weeks later (to my eternal horror) that my mother had called the school to yell at them about the janitor hugging me.

3. So, you live in the desert. Ever been to Sedona?
I hear it's a real hippy town.

This is a lie, and, sadly, no… I’ve never been there despite the proximity to Phoenix.

Sedona was once a hippy town, and then rich ass-wipes went to see the crazy hippy town, bought all the land and turned it into a vacation spot for the wealthy. Because Sedona is pretty, and not a bleak armpit like much of the Valley, the town is officially a playground for people who no longer have to work for a living. Houses run well into the millions, the shops are all over-priced antique boutiques, and the traffic getting in and out of town on the weekend is a nightmare as all the boring middle-class ass-wipes drive up to Sedona on the weekend because, aside from golf, there’s @#$%-all to do in Phoenix on the average weekend.

I have heard there are still a few hippy towns and communes scattered around Arizona. No idea where they are as we never leave The Valley of the Sun.

I have a buddy who lives in Sedona who got some insane retirement package and built a house with mountain views, but somehow we never plan far enough ahead to go and mooch off my pal.

According to the photos I see and the endless hours our PBS affiliate dedicates to showing elsewhere, AZ is a stunningly beautiful state. Just not around here.


4. You once said you would make yourself available to casting directors trying to cast blockbusters. Who would play you in a movie?

Clearly, Andy Richter would play the adult League. Young League would be played by someone curiously thinner and better looking. Maybe Taye Diggs? Mrs. League would be played by Kerri Kenney, Jeff the Cat would be played by Jean Reno (in a cat suit), Melbotis is played by Jeff Bridges (in a yellow dog suit), and Lucy would be played by a very drunk Dakota Fanning.

Also, Steanso would be played by Christopher Walken in a bear suit.

5. What is your favorite Starbucks beverage and why? How do you think this reflects on your personality?

The Cappucino. The League has been trying to get a good cappuccino since leaving Austin (the coffee shop at the RLM had a barista who made insanely good cappuccinos), and one must also consider the fact that The League is rigidly, suffocatingly traditional. We don’t need any fancy double-decaf mocha freezes. Just give me like five shots of espresso and some foam, dammit.


END INTERVIEW


If you want to play along, feel free to raise your hand down in the comments section. The League will ask 5 questions. You may post to your own blog, or we shall post here, if you like.

In the next day or two I'll be sending Maxwell questions, and we'll see how it goes from there.

Okay okay okay

The League can take a hint. No more posts on how we organize our comics.

Dames in the Media The League Once Dug:

Mary Kate Danaher from The Quiet Man


The Quiet Man's Mary Kate Danaher as portrayed by the lovely Maureen O'Hara

Ah, Maureen O'Hara. It may have been in Miracle on 34th Street that I first noticed you, and that hung-over Sunday morning in San Antonio when I tried to make it through Against All Flags that I noticed you could poke out my eye with a cutlass, but it was your role as Mary Kate Danaher in The Quiet Man that won me over.


In Miracle on 34th Street, Maureen plays what we in the business call a "Yummy Mummy"


Yarrrrghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Sure, this DITMTLOD is a little different as it doesn't focus on a TV character from my youth, but this is my damn blog, and if I want to talk about Maureen O'Hara, by gum, I'm a gonna do it.

Released in 1952, The Quiet Man tells the tale of a boxer born in Ireland who immigrated to the US as a child. The boxer, Sean Thornton (played by John Wayne), has ended his career for mysterious reasons and chosen to return to his family's home in Ireland. Here, Thornton meets Mary Kate Danaher and has to adjust to the local Irish customs in order to woo her. The movie is directed by the legendary John Ford, and while it's not a western, Ford certainly handles the material with his usual flair.


No golden lasso or talking car, but still noteworthy

Really, it's a very fun movie and was recommended to me by my high school biology teacher, Mr. Bryant, who I owe a lot to. Mostly, I thank Mr. Bryant for not sending me to the principal upon the numerous occasions when he had very, very good reason to do so.

Every Irish stereotype you can think of is trotted out for the movie, and lovingly embraced by the Irish actors playing all the major roles. It should also be mentioned that Maureen O'Hara actually is from Ireland, so the casting there was quite intentional.

So, what does Mary Kate Danaher have that makes her League-worthy

1) While not a brunette in a form-fitting one-piece uniform, Mary Kate manages to make a blouse, skirt and smock look very nice.


Here, Mary Kate hops up to plant one on John Wayne playing the role he knows best: John Wayne

2) Mary Kate ain't afraid to slap around John Wayne. Mary Kate is given to fits of wild temper, which, we learn, may be why she ain't quite landed herself a husband yet. These fits of temper tend to lead to some plate throwing and whatnot, but it's all in good fun.


Yeah, she's yelling at him

3) Mary Kate has a fun family. Sure, the conflict between her brother and John Wayne is a major part to the story, but it just goes to prove there's nothing a few pints and an extended slugging match can't settle.


Even in this silly hat, Mary Kate Danaher looks quite fetching

4) Mary Kate is multi-talented. From herding sheep to more domestic chores, Mary Kate seems to be a quick study.

5) Responsible for one of the greatest screen kisses of all time. Sure, Spielberg actually referenced it frame for frame in E.T., but there was a reason Steve-o picked that particular scene for his movie. I hate to give away the context of the scene, but with a storm blowing through the doorway of their new cottage, Sean and Mary Kate pretty much seal up the running for best culmination of romantic tension.


Sometimes romance ain't all puppy-tails and flowers.

Ah, but she's a ravishing red-head, she is.

I'm not sure what category The Quiet Man falls into. Romantic comedy? Romantic dramady? I want to point out that this movie isn't a western, it doesn't have a single ape, superhero, robot or starship in it, and I still find myself watching it over and over. The League highly recommends this movie.

Wayne and O'Hara re-teamed for the comedy-western McClintock!, which is a pretty good movie right up until the final scenes where you really, really start to feel uncomfortable as a 21st century human being. The movie was, I should add, filmed in AZ.


For the previous "Dames in the Media the League Once Dug", click here.

BTW, Kurt over at "Return to Comics" has an interesting closer to his adventure into Manga from last week.

I highly suggest you read the Manga posts as well as Kurt's follow-up.

The Fan-Dad Cometh, indeed.

The League Presents
Suggestions for Further Reading

OCD: The Comic Book Way


Uuggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm working on bagging, boarding and boxing comics. Well, most of them were already bagged and boarded. But I haven't popped open my boxes in quite a while.

My comics organizing is sort of done by theme more than alphabetically. I don't just have Action Comics followed by Ambush Bug, followed by Blue Beetle. I have my Superman boxes, Batman and X-men boxes. It sort of works, I think.


A typical comic "long box"

Currently I've got about 9 short boxes and around 12 long boxes. And I'm beginning to appreciate the guys who wisely live in their mother's basements with enough space to store all of their damn comics. Now, Jamie doesn't want to move in with my parents just so I can turn Jason's old bedroom into a comic storage space, but I like the idea. I mean, he's only there at Christmas and, like, Mom's birthday. And he LIKES cardboard boxes.

Anyway, I have a lot of work ahead of me as it's been about ten months since I actually got all of my comics in order (by title and number). I read about four Superman comics, so right there that's about 40 comics. So when you add up the JLA, JSA, the five of six Batman comics, and, oh, man... why do I hold on to these things?

It's gotta be some form of OCD.

The thing that's sort of killing me is that, apparently, about 7 or 8 months ago I, apparently, didn't sort my comics. I just stuck them all in a long-box after bagging and boarding them. So it was an issue of Promethea, an issue of Aquaman, an issue of Black Panther... So after I thought I'd sorted and stacked my comics in preparation to start pulling out boxes, I had to go through a shortened version fo the process and then go through my existing stacks and shuffle in the missing issues.


The League's preferred bags. We like Silver Age bags and boards.

I now have to pull the boxes down and try to squeeze the new comics in. When they don't fit, I have to choose a title or two which will have to be resorted and find a new home. For example, I have a "Batman Family" box with Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, Gotham Central, etc... stuff that's Batman related, but titles I may not pick up every issue. Well, I DO pick up Gotham Central every issue (and you should, too... this is a great cop procedural, and I norammly stand indifferent to cop procedurals. Let's just say Law & Order is different when teh criminals look like demented clowns and Batman is usually three steps ahead of our boys in blue), and had picked up a lot of "Batman Family" books due to a lot of cross-overs such as "War Games".

Anyway, I pulled Gotham Central out of the Batman Family box, and I'm not yet sure where it's going. Probably a temporary spot while I sort through my other Batman comics.

It is very much a personal library system, and a fun one to maintain.

I will admit to being probably more careless with some of my comics than I should be, just for sorting purposes. They all get bags and boards, but one of the most oddly expensive items in comic collecting are the plastic dividers one is supposed to place between comics. For a pack of 25 dividers, most folks will charge you in the neighborhood of $12.50. That's like $0.50 a divider. I'm fairly certain that I could find some other way to identify comics, but you can probably guess that I don't want to identify every comic I ever bought but didn't necessarily want to throw away.

This doesn't really get into the actual book shelf organization of the graphic novels and trade paperbacks. That's sort of an artform unto itself as well, but I'll save that one for a later day.

As I've complained before, I am literally running out of space. And while I do have all my comics in order, I still haven't built a comprehensive database of my comics. The amount of time it would take to actually enter each comic into a db seems a little overwhelming, but I suspect I should. Really, I'm looking for an online service, partially for insurance reasons.

One option is Comicpriceguide.com. These guys seems to have the right idea, and it doubles as an auction site, so I could, in theory, turn around and sell my comics through these guys. And with dwindling space, unloading large chunks of my collection is beginning to seem like a good idea.

The industry standard is called ComicBase, but as far as I know, they aren't online quite yet. Maybe this year, though, and then I'll do some shopping.

I could use Excel or Access, but, honestly, I'm way too lazy to enter in all that data when somebody else may have already created a place where I can use a radio button to indicate what I have and determine the net worth.

I really don't have even a rough estimate of the number of comics I own, but it would be interesting to find out.

Well, for me, anyway.



For the last Suggestions for Further Reading, go here.

The League presents:
Suggestions for Further Reading

The Rant


Okay... So, today a comics-related rant. Go about your business if this sounds dull. I understand.

Erik Larsen is the creator of The Savage Dragon and a co-founder of Image Comics. Today, Eric STILL works on Savage Dragon after years and years in the game.

In addition, he's recently become the publisher at Image Comics.

He's now got a column going at ComicBookResources.com called "One Fan's Opinion". I read a lot of comic-based columns, but I gotta say, today Mr. Larsen's column really rang true with me.

The basic idea was:

One of the oddities of the comic fan world (I hesitate to use community in reference to what is essentially a solitary act) is that comic fans are complete jerks to each other.

I assume that the behavior comes from the fact that comic collectors are most comfortable plowing through a pile of comics all by their lonesome, or somehow organizing or cataloguing their collection. Neither of these are particularly social activities and not terribly conducive to building social skills.

That said, how, exactly, can collectors be jerks?

As Larsen points out, there are jerks right at the front line. The very guys who are supposed to be selling you the product you are holding in one hand (with money in the other hand), will tell you the product you're about to buy isn't worth reading. Now, The League spent a glorious year-and-a-half working at a mall record store and is all too familiar with the temptation to shout at customers buying idiotic product. But you know what? Despite the fact I was making $5.25, I managed to rein it in. Sure, occasionally I'd be forced into a position where I had to tell a customer why I hadn't bought the latest Yanni album, but I was usually pretty polite.

The comic shop owners, one would assume, would be more careful about keeping a loyal customer base. I guess being the owners, they are entitled to do whatever they want in their store, but it's astounding how many owners and staff will give you lip as you're handing them money. And, honestly, I don't really try to drum up conversations with comic shop owners, but after a while, it does make you want to consider doing all of your shopping online.

Just as curious is the fellow comic shop patron who takes a look at what you're picking up and makes a snide comment about your selection. Invariably, you look to see what this person is holding and it's a stack of books you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. But that's why it's a free market. That's why there's a selection of titles out there for folks to choose from. Making comments that your copy of "Near Naked Warrior Vixen" is somehow superior to my copy of "Old Fashioned Hero Guy" is a pyrrhic victory at best.

I think it's worth noting that the internet has damaged the comic market in three ways:

1) eBay has pretty much meant you can't find good back issues at your local retailer and that if you want something, you're competing with every jerk with a modem on the face of the planet
2) Only now are comic companies realizing that you shouldn't tell every detail of a comic which hasn't been released in order to sell it. Sometimes less is more
3) Message boards are filled with semi-literate, apparently unemployed goons hellbent on name-calling and making wild claims about comics they haven't even read

The comics-related internet is awash in a sea of trolls, each trying to claim that some specific moment in Captain America in 1978 was the pinnacle of the comic story-telling format. Or that Batman hasn't been worth reading since Neal Adams quit penciling the series. It's not just that these guys really liked a specific artist or creator, it's that every other comic before or since is crap, and the creators should somehow be punished.

The groundswell is dissipating now, but two to three years ago, it was decided that superhero comics should all be replaced at Marvel and DC with black and white indie comics, or European comics, and anyone who didn't agree was clearly a moron. That one was fun.

There's a constant argument about why people don't read comics anymore, and it usually centers on "how do we bring in teen-age girls?", a question which answered itself about two years ago with the Manga explosion (which Barnes & Noble and Borders have very successfully capitalized on, I might add). It's usually pointed out that comics used to have all kinds of genres, even from the big two publishers, and the finger of blame is pointed at the publishers that they gave up on romance and cowboy comics. Never once is it mentioned that maybe they quit printing those comics due to low sales. It's also forbidden to suggest that sales may be a bit low because you have to go to a comic shop to buy comics, and most comic shops are like entering a serial-killer's basement. When I see the look of fear on the face of mothers, I know something has gone horribly wrong.

Post-teen Manga readers sort of remind me of Mac Users circa 1997. To use a PC was to be a corporate whore. Anything a PC did, A Mac could do better and faster. Windows machines crash, Macs are rock solid. But at the end of the day, I was comfortable with my PC, it worked fine and it seemed like a good deal. And, of course, Manga fans are in the habit of insisting you broaden your mind and read manga, but shrug off any suggestions that American comics could hold any appeal.

This isn't a judgement call on the virtues of Manga, Leaguers. It's an observation of the conversations one sees online and the evangelical spirit of some Manga readers.

Just FYI: On the obnoxious cale, Manga fans are like a 2 out of 10. The ongoing war between Marvel Zombies and DC Fanboys is @#$%ing ludicrous.

Look, I understand brand loyalty, but even as I push DC comics here, I genuinely do have an affection for a lot of Marvel comics. I read Spidey, some FF, some Cap, Daredevil, The Pulse...

But the war spilled over from the fans grousing at each other to Marvel and DC playing hard-ball with each other. And then, weirdly, it got into the comics themselves. It's now an odd favorite of the competing companies to come up with painful analogs of familiar characters and try to insert them into their own comics. (Actually, Gruenwald probably started all of that with Squadron Supreme). As a reader, for twentyu years I enjoyed the "friendly rivalry" between Marvel and DC, but at the end of the day you knew these guys were going to grab a beer together. Now, well, it's gotten ugly. And who the hell cares about this diva nonsense? It's comic books. Shut up and write a decent story and don't use the analogs unless there's a darn good point to be made.

The fact is, nobody... I mean, NOBODY in the real world knows the damn difference between DC and Marvel. Some people sort of know the Marvel name thanks to the well-placed logo on the Spider-Man movies, but when my co-workers are trying to get hip with their resident comic geek, I get a lot of "So, Marvel's putting out a new Superman movie."

Yes, the companies have different universes and they have different house styles, etc... But it's 2 degrees of separation. It's still people in tights solving problems by clobbering each other.

The most recent surge in unpleasantness has centered around the large events being orchestrated by the Big 2. Marvel has House of M, DC has Infinite Crisis. And a lot of people are just furious about the whole thing. Especially people who haven't picked up a comic by one company or the other in a decade. The argument goes something like "I haven't read a DC Comic since (insert late-80's/ early 90's event), so I checked out (insert Infinite Crisis comic), and it wasn't exactly what I expected and wasn't exactly like the comics in 1987, so (insert expletive here) DC."

Look, your opinion counts, and you obviously didn't like the comic, but... If you haven't ever read a Superman comic since 1939, you vocally hate the character, and then you find the Superman comic you do read to not be what you expected, you don't get to say "Superman was acting out of character." It's that simple.

I think a lot of the desire to place strictures on what can and can't be in comics comes from the fact that comic readers are comic readers because they latched onto some aspect of some comic in their youth, and they're in a constant, uphill battle to reclaim that moment. And rather than accept that comics go on with or without them, finding something new and different can create an uncomfortable level of cognitive dissonance.

The bottom line for The League is that the comics world is a consumer's market. If you don't like something, don't buy it. Vote with your wallets and your feet. Nobody is forcing you to buy something you don't like. There are hundreds of comics published every month from dozens of companies. DC and Marvel may have a stranglehold on Wolverine and Batman, but you're always free to explore both old and new comics you may never have read.

Whether you like it or not, comics are always going to be published that you may not find appealing. You don't stand in line at the grocery store telling someone that Chip a Hoys suck and that you're an Oreo man. Or at least I hope not.

The internet may be a huge pain in the ass in some ways, but it's also given us the comic blogs, news sites and online previews. Sites like "Dave's Long Box", "Return to Comics" and "The Comic Treadmill" (which I need to add to my blog roll) all give me hope and make me know it can be about friendly discussion and a lot of fun. It's not all about name-calling and anonymous posturing.

The League is a firm believer that, within reason, you can do whatever the hell you want to do and enjoy whatever you want to enjoy. If you want to put on a tie and work in an office, groovy. If you want to run away and join Up with People, that's your decision. It doesn't effect me one way or another. And so it should be with your selection of reading materials.

Comics can and should be the same way, especially with as small of an audience that comics really have. Reading comics is and can be fun. And it doesn't need to be all about sitting in your hidey hole bagging and boarding your run on Ambush Bug. It's nice to have a fun discussion every once in a while.

It's an uncivilized world to begin with, the least comic fans can try to do is show a little courtesy to one another.

Go here for the last Suggestions for Further Reading

Excellent news for Jeff Shoemaker.

I really liked Players. Sure, everything there was deepfried, even the soda cups, but the food was palatable, and selecting it as a destination was a surefire way to get Shoemaker to agree to have lunch with you.

So I haven't been online in a while. Sorry about that.

Monday night I was sick and in bed by 8:00pm. I have no idea what was wrong with me. It may be something is going around the office, but I'm not sure. Anyway, no blogging when I'm asleep.

Tuesday night I was preoccupied, and that brings us to tonight.

Well, not so much preoccupied tonight, and I feel fine (for a guy who ate McDonald's for dinner). I am a bit down, however. My PC at work got the blue screen of death and it's deader than a doornail. Luckily I backed all my docs up to DVDs last week in an unrelated incident. I'm supposed to be getting a new Latitude PC, but it's going to take a while, so in the meantime I'm stuck using a computer which isn't mine. It just happens to be that the laptop I'm using doesn't have a DVD drive. Which means, you guessed it, I can't use my files.

Ugh. It's really depressing.

Watched part of the Peter Jennings 2-hour, commercial-free tribute on ABC tonight, and part of me was wondering when, exactly, ABC started producing this thing. Jennings just died over the weekend. I've worked in video production. Even with several people working simultaneously, I find it enormously surprising that the special wasn't pre-produced to some extent. It's a morbid thought, but one is forced to consider the idea that ABC started working on this documentary the minute Jennings announced he had cancer.

This morning, for various reasons, I didn't go into work until almost 11:00. This meant that I was at home watching Headline News while eating my Cheerios during normal working hours. Now, after the re-vamp of Headline News back around 2000, I sort of quit taking Headline News seriously. I miss the format of Lynne Russell staring into the camera for hours on end and reading AP releases.

So, I can't tell you how irritated and disillusioned I've become with the NEW Headline News. The primetime hours during which I used to watch are now filled with two shows (shows? On Headline News?) One show is Showbiz news, officially throwing CNN in with E! network and Entertainment Tonight and lowering the collective IQ of the country. The other show is Nancy Grace, and the less said about that lunatic, the better.

One wonders what they would do if we had a war on. Wait....

This leaves about 18 hours a day for news. News which is about 30% entertainment news, and mostly reported by spokesmodels with very nice hair.

And this is where I get back to Peter Jennings and why I shall miss him.

This morning Headline News was covering President Bush's signing of the new transportation bill (a bill which I have no opinion of, and could honestly care less), and part of the story centered around a lot of pork added to the bill as riders benefitting local rep's districts, etc... Of course, it was mentioned that there were "critics of the bill", but no party affiliation or names were named. However, it WAS mentioned that "critics of the bill" felt that there was a lot of pork on the bill.

At the conclusion of the story, CNN News Bunny Kathleen Kennedy rolls her eyes and says "there's always critics". And not in a "ha ha, there's always someone out there who doesn't like something" sort of way. It was pretty clear that Ms. Kennedy is just sick and tired of all these people who keep bugging the President.

Dear Kathleen Kennedy:

Your job is to read the teleprompter, look grave when discussing death and smile as we go to commercial. Try not to @#$% it up.

Love,

The League


The reason we call journalists "The 4th Estate" isn't because it sounds awesome (because it sort of does), it's because in a world of shady bastards posing as electable do-gooders, we're lucky enough to live in a country where the press got it's groove on by taking pot shots at the shadier dealings of the elected shady bastards. It has long been expected that political decision makers are kept in check not just by the 3 branches of government, but by our belief that citizens (journalists) can peer into a transparent government and question decision making.

I'm a firm believer that journalists are supposed to be making waves and looking for corruption and vice. Despite party affiliations, journalists should be responsible for covering a story in its entirety, including voices of dissent. And they should be able to try to reporty upon the facts without editorial comment. If the facts of what they're trying to report on aren't enough, then the story doesn't stand on it's own.

I'm not sure I mourn just Peter Jennings, but the Edward R. Murrow school of journalism. It's not enough that the major networks are going to continue to slash the budgets of their news agencies in the face of the 24-hour news channel. But the big three knew they weren't just serving one political side of the fence or the other, they made an effort to stick to straight-forward reporting for the entire country.

All journalists are guilty of selecting stories which slant to their point of view. But that shouldn't change the fundamental nature of the journalist's job. Having a point of view is human nature, but it's also why we have editors and editorial boards. And it's also why journalists should try to be twice as hard on politicians with whom they feel they can support.

We're now getting our news from talking heads whose greatest aspiration was NOT to be a journalist, but to be a face on television. With the same pie of money cut into a million slices, journalistic ethics and standards are a liability in the battle for audience share. After all, news and anchors that match and reinforce preconceived notions rather than challenge the common wisdom turn out to be a big draw. Especially when they paint opinion and spin as unvarnished truth.

In any event, the role of an anchor shouldn't be to hear a news story and then dismiss part of the story out of hand because they don't find it convenient. Try not to look like you just rolled out of bed, read your teleprompter and go home. Collect a pay-check every two weeks. Your job is pretty simple.

And before everyone comes down on me like a ton of bricks saying that I wouldn't be saying this if I agreed with Kathleen Kennedy, I most assuredly would. It's the same reason I don't get my news from Al Franken, and I try to get my news from wire reports instead of television to begin with.

I know I'm in the minority, but I'd gladly pay extra for a cable news channel which did nothing but go back to Headline News' original format. Give me Lynne Russell and thirty minutes of the same stories in rotation all night long. I'm up for that.

I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more.

Ah, the studios just can't help themselves.

The trailer is now up for the theatrical release of V for Vendetta.

You can watch it here.

Make sure you have QuickTime.

Before I write anything else on the topic, I need to re-read V. It's been several years. But it certainly wasn't an action filled romp when last I checked.

Singer Ibrahim Ferrer of the Buena Vista Social CLub is dead at age 78.

Read more here.

ABC news anchor Peter Jennings is dead at the age of 67.

Read more here.

Peter Jennings was a favorite of mine of the big three. He cemented this standing during his steady coverage of the events of September 11th, 2001.

An excellent newsman. TV news is a poorer place without him.

The League Presents:
The League taste-tests the new BK Chicken Fries

Chickens. Small barnyard birds we like to consume by the bucketfull.

We grill them, we broil them, we fry them up. McDonalds took the lead in chicken reprocessing with the introduction of the chicken nugget way back in the day. Other fast food chains have tried to keep up, all with middling success.

But Burger King has taken it up a notch. Enjoy french fries? Enjoy chicken? Why not enjoy both in one greasy little package?

Perhaps you've seen the BK adds with the chicken-themed metal band, KoqRoq? Well, I'm a bitch for good advertising, and so off to the BK voyaged The League.

Oh, a forwarning. I do not have mouth herpies. I had a weird zit near my lip today and it shows a lot more in these photos than in natural light.


Here is our meal. You can see 2 drinks, 2 sets of regular french fries, 2 burgers and 1 box of BK Chicken Fries. We're anticipating not liking the chiken fries, but we don't think that means we should go hungry.


Here is a box of chicken fries. On the off-chance they're really, really good, we spent a few extra cents and got 9 fries instead of 6.


Not a good sign. You can pretty clearly see the grease lining the box. The fries are smaller than I expected.


In the spirit of the Pepsi Holiday challenge, we tried to pose Jeff near the chicken fries. Jeff refused to recognize the fries as food. True, he doesn't care much for people food as a rule, but when it's deep fried beyond recognition, Jeff would rather play with the straws on the cups.


Jamie steps up to the plate to model the fries and give you a size comparison.


One must always first smell the new food item to get the taste buds ready for that which you are about to consume. The box does little to mask the odor which has been tailing us since we grabbed the bag at the drive-thru.


Free of the box, the fries' pungent smell assaults the senses. Not as bad as I'd assumed.


Taste.
The chicken fries aren't as bad as I'd assumed at first. It's an odd blend of fast-food chicken, french fries and grease. It's tempting to add salt, but I'd be afraid that the chicken fries would dissolve like slugs.


The texture is sort of mushy. Not melt in your mouth mushy like french fries. You certainly do need to chew. Ah, delicious.


The sauce. The name of the sauce is "Buffalo Sauce". Jeff, once again, is completely uninterested.


The color is frightening, as if plucked right from the palettes of hell. The smell isn't anything to get excited about, either.


The smell is really getting to me. Every fiber of my being tells me not to taste this sauce.


My fiber is right. The sauce is inedible. There's some vague sense that it was supposed to be wing sauce, and one is left wondering "why"? The fries have not the taste, texture or feeling of wings, and there's no beer in sight. The buffalo sauce is a false promise made all the more foul by tasting like special sauce with sick in it.


And so endeth my experience with the sauce.


Once again, Jamie steps up to the plate.


Jamie has a very, very different reaction to the fries.


Jamie chooses a different lunch.


Bwah ha ha. the fries are mine and mine alone.


Full disclosure, with a whooper w/ cheese and chicken fries both available, I opted for the whopper. I would think that would tell you something. Also, the fries found their way into the trashcan right behind the sauce. Once the fries cooled down, they just weren't as palatable.

The League votes the chicken fries experience a 3 or 4 out of a 10 on the fast food scale. Oh, and a complete abomination to all of chicken kind.

Hola amigos. It's been a while since I rapped at ya.

Well, I don't have much to report. The League has been a busy bee, and after reading a stack of comics the last two nights, the League wanted nothing more than to toss himself headfirst into bed and wish for the cold grip of death to claim me. Wait, no... That's not right.

Anyway, I've been neglecting my duties here at The League.

It's tough to come up with new ideas, but I'm not here to bitch. I'm just saying... I'm a little dry right at the moment. I'd probably default to writing about comics, but, Leaguers, I'm not sure that too many of you guys stick with me when you see a post on, oh, say, why the JSA is awesome. Or do you?

Anyway, it's kept me from popping up with much this week.

Here's something: For more than a month I've been keeping a log of what I eat for lunch. Why? I haven't the faintest. Anyway, the blog is Lunchtime with The League.

You will notice that 1) Tempe has a terrific number of places to eat. 2) I go out very, very often for lunch.

I just have never really liked eating at my desk, but it does happen. I usually just feel like I've got to get some fresh air and sunlight.

Anyway, it's not engaging reading, but it is out there.

I'm also toying with the idea for yet another blog entitled "The Chandlerist". You know how other people will take photos of their town and talk about all the fun crap there is to do in their town? I want to do one of those about Chandler, AZ. Why? Chandler is the most @#$%ing fun place in the world. People keep telling me that, anyway. Someone needs to keep track of how awesome this place is.


Has anyone else seen the new Coke commercial based on the hippy Coke commercial from 1971? They kidnapped a bunch of kids from around the globe and put a bottle of Coke in their hands and forced them to sing in Ingles.

Hilltop Coke commercial

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to give the world a Coke
and keep it company

The commercial ran for YEARS, and was one of my earliest memories.

Every few years someone decides to "update" the concept, with varying degrees of success.

Now there's a new commercial for the 'ought's. It's just a bunch of models, you know, hanging out... just chilling on a roof in the NYC area. And, you know, they've sort of turned the Coke song into a rap. And, you know, they're chilling and singing.

There is a short version of the commercial is on TV, but there's an extended version showing at my local theater. I can't seem to find it online.

I'm not sure the original version is this pure thing which can never be touched. It is, after all, sort of co-opting the visual cues of the counter culture movement used for pushing a corporate product into every corner of the world under the auspices of peace and love.

But, you can say it did give us all a memorable campfire tune.

Re: The new version

It's sort of the "photocopy of a photocopy" effect you get when a commercial's greatest strength is it tries to make you recall the first cynically produced commercial in hopes you'll place the same good feelings upon their new, even more cynically produced commercial.

The new one doesn't have ugly people in it. It's just models lip-synching. Nor did they even bother to fly in some dude from New Guinea and some chick from Indonesia. They just went down to the local talent agent and had them send over some good looking 20 year olds after they were done with a Calvin Klein commercial.

Sigh.

At any rate, no matter how bad it gets, it's probably nowhere near as bad as most of Pepsi's advertising.

Oh, and I'm watching Hogan Knows Best on VH1.

Hulk just said, with absolutely no sense of irony:

Without Rocky III, Hulkamania wouldn't have been able to grow into the strongest force in the universe.

You know, Peabo and I saw Hulk wrestle in 9th grade. Screw electromagnetism, screw gravity and the strong and weak forces. Hulkamania IS the strongest force in the universe.

Hot or Not?

Decidedly NOT.

Leaguers, The League is not a handsome man. He's large, portly, sort of blank around the eyes and generally resembles a panda which has somehow lost it's way and cannot figure out how to return to the bamboo forest.

We lack washboard abs, hair gel, a waxed chest and pretty much anything else which someone might consider to be "attractive" in this day and age. Perhaps the pizza and sloth lifestyle I've adopted isn't turning me into the muscel-bound dynamo I had hoped it might.

But how unattractive is The League?

Well, for years we've had the technology to tell us exactly that. We've long suspected a deep love of pizza and loathing of an exercise regime would lead to a general feeling of repulsion by most folks, but now we've got real, scientific evidence.

Leaguers, The League has submitted his photo to HOTorNOT.com


The offending photo

Come see my linky link here.

I went ahead and voted myself a 10. I figure I need a little boost to offset the onslaught of poor numbers as we move forward and I gradually realize the best looking I will ever be was probably 10 years ago, and that ain't ever coming back. It's all downhill from here.

I've done a little research, and I figure in light of today's sex symbols, the League is but a pale shadow. I figure if we get a 3 to a 3.5, we're doing gangbusters. We're just not going to do well here.

Nonetheless, it's better to be honest with oneself and just find out.

I'll be checking my stats. To see how poorly we're doing, you'll see something along the lines of the item below:

HOT or NOT ? Not enough votes to calculate a rating Rate me!

Good Lord, I am not a good looking man.

This is going to rock.

For Reed.

Oh, how I miss the Gremlin.

2 quick blips...

Blip #1

Here's a nice article on the architecture appearing in the skyline of the DC Comic: The Manhattan Guardian. Read here.

This is why I like Grant Morrison's stuff. I knew there was some crazy stuff going on in the background of the frames and from some of the dialogue, but I didn't realize that the structures the characters were referring to actually existed.

Special thanks to Jim D. for the article. Go read Manhattan Guardian.

Blip #2

The @#$%ing Suns just traded away Joe Johnson. I listened to the news all the way into work today, and this was the only story that made me audibly shout out "NO!" and start pounding on my steering wheel.

I think I need to recheck my priorities.

On the other hand, that's 2 of my favorite players gone. (No, the other one was Quentin Richardson, not High-Fiving White Guy).

Suggestions for Further Reading

Quick Picks of the Week

Flash 224

Did you read the Geoff Johns rant from a few days ago? No? Well, go read it. Johns is wrapping up his run (ha ha... It's the Flash... a run. Oh, screw you guys) after five years. He's going out with a heck of a bang, going back to events of two years ago and beyond to create what appears to be the pinnacle of the sort of crazy-assed, mind-bending, fan-boy rewarding superheroics Flash has been excelling at monthly for five years.

Thanks, Geoff.













Wonder Woman #219 and OMAC Project #4

Holy smokes. I'm just really digging the heck out of the OMAC Project. I do think DC completely screwed up by not just integrating the Superman/ Wonder Woman "Sacrifice" storyline right into OMAC, but it doesn't really effect me as I read Superman and Wonder Woman, anyway (and so should you)... If Rucka's idea was to get you to read more comics, I think he succeeded. Thus far, of the four Countdown to Infinite Crisis series, OMAC seems poised to have the most far-reaching effects in the DCU.

Wonder Woman #219 ends the 4 part Superman/ Wonder Woman "Sacrifice" storyline, with multiple artists on board. Apparently there was some scheduling issue as this issue had to be shipped in order, and thus DC had to bring in a lot of help. Still, the issue works. Wonder Woman shows she is a warrior in a way Bruce and Clark simply are not, and one gets the feeling things are going to be changing rapidly in the next month or so.








OMAC Project #4 (of 6) follows the events of WOnder Woman #219 by about two minutes. If Sacrifice brought the story to a boil, now it's spilled over onto the burner. Cool stuff here. Nice art. Nice cliff hanger leaving you waiting for the next issue.



















JLA: Classified #10

This series is a sort of "out of continuity" series featuring the JLA, written and drawn by a new creative team with each arc. This issue features writer Warren Ellis and artists Butch Guice. I'm sort of a fan of Warren Ellis. I like most of his work when I don't feel like he's trying to tell me in his story how he's writing down to me so my feeble earth-man brain can get the ideas. (Give me Morrison anyday, giving me enough credit to believe I'm following him where he's going) Here Ellis is doing nice work, and it doesn't hurt that this Guice guy is on the art chores. I like Guice's stuff here, and I'm not sure I've ever seen it before. He's got a nice, realistic style without resorting to drawing over photocopies.

Not sure where the story is going, but it should be good. He's writing Superman as something other than a muscle-bound idiot (DC's editorial seems to have finally found writers willing to do this, or else is gently persuading writers away from this 90's staple). Ellis's Lois is actually really interesting.

Anyway, the series just started, so it's worth seeking out.












For previous SFFR, click here.

THE LEAGUE DECIDES TO GO AND SEE DISNEY'S "SKY HIGH"

The League goes to see these movies because we know you won't...

After having watched commercials for a few weeks and noting Lynda "Wonder Woman" Cater was in the film, The League did some crafty maneuvering and tricked Jamie into going to see Disney's new teen super feature "Sky High".

Sky High is pretty much, beat for beat, what one would expect if you've seen the trailers. The movie is pretty much a lot of elements from lots of coming-of-age movies tied in with a Harry Potter-lite element. The movie is riding the superhero trend, more in the vein of Incredibles than Spider-Man.

The movie follows Will Stronghold, child of two of the greatest superheroes on earth (an earth which is well fortified with super beings, it is suggested) as he leaves the public school system to start his Freshman year at Sky High, a school for the children of super powered folks. The school is there to prepare these kids to follow in their parent's footsteps.

Nothing is really made of Will wanting to buck the family tradition, which is a relief. A character wishing for a humdrum life when he can shoot lasers out of his eyes might make for compelling inner monologue in a comic, but it's a tough sell to kids 3-12. Nor does it make for the best use of the filmic medium. Instead, he's much more concerned about not being able to live up to the legacy his father (and, apparently, grandpa) have established before him.

Will's parents are the Commander (Super Strength) and Jetstream (karate-wielding flier), but Will has not yet shown any powers himself. Of course, there's a lovely girl who likes him whom he hasn't noticed except as friend (which seems like an odd-bit of science fiction as she's quite pretty), and the pretty, popular girl whose attention he soon wants to get. Due to the fact that Will's powers don't seem to be materializing, Will is tossed in with "Hero Support" aka "Sidekicks", the folks with superpowers so negligible that they're destined for a life of assisting folks with better powers (can you see the direction this is going?).

The movie is directed towards two audiences. 1: Kids who will watch anything with people shooting fire out of their eyes (ie Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers) and, 2: The Parents of the Kids who will actually get the jokes in the movie.

Watching the movie in a near full house as we did, I sincerely got the feeling the parents (especially the dads) were enjoying the movie more than their kids. And maybe that wasn't a mistake. The main characters may all be high-school aged kids, but the teachers include two members of Kids in the Hall, Lynda Carter, Kurt Russell, Bruce Campbell and Cloris Leechman. And, perhaps befitting, the adults in the film seem to have taken the roles because most of them are really pretty funny.

Kurt Russell's "Commander" is given to ham-handed hero speak, in a sort of too-thought out attempt at speechifying (a Kurt Russell we've all sort of missed in recent years). Dave Foley plays an instructor for the Sidekicks, teaching sidekick skills and still milking his glory days as the long forgotten "All-American Boy". Kevin McDonald plays the "Mad Science" instructor with the two foot cranium. Bruce Campbell is the coach, and Cloris Leechman plays the school doctor (with X-Ray vision). And Lynda Carter is... Lynda Carter. Does she really need to be anything else?

Will kids think word problems involving flying superheroes are funny? Well, the adults seemed to like it. Will they understand why 12-story robots are inherently funny? No. Their still in a phase where 12-story robots are a dangerous threat. And, you know what? That's okay.
(ed note: I loved the gaint robot sequence. There just aren't enough giant robots in movies)

The prerequisite points about friendship, self-worth and avoiding popular girls are made in a manner slightly less embarrassing than in the typical Teen-Wolf film. Will kids get a lot of the snide commentary on high-school culture the film's producers slip in? Probably not. Well, maybe.

In one last hint that the movie is also catering to parents, the soundtrack is largely composed of 80's tunes, including an unlikely cover of the Talking Heads' "And She Was". Of course I say that, and I think the kids these days are nuts for the 80's so they might really dig a new version fo "Voices Carry".

Ed side note: Yesterday a troop of girls I saw walking across the Target parking lot looked like 1985 had barfed them up like an overripe hairball. Jamie suggested they were headed for a costume party, but that seemed a little high-concept. Plus, here in AZ it's the first week of school, so all the kids are in "fashion week" where they're breaking in their new personality they bought over the summer. (I miss having to break in really dark blue jeans that felt like they were made out of card-board tubes)

As a whole, the movie works just fine. It's nothing I'm going to be modeling my life after, but I might watch it again at some point on cable. It's nothing I'm going to recommend "YOU MUST SEE THIS FILM". But it's also not the piece of junk I was more or less expecting.

Don't expect anything too amazing, and don't be shocked when some of the FX are a bit hokey. But also give the producers some credit for showing a love for the material.

Now, for an added bonus: The League rants about nerds/ jocks in comics

Probably due to the overwhelming popularity of Ultimate Spider-Man, Marvel has been publishing a spate of comics starring teen-agers. The excuse is: Teen-agers are learning about themselves and it's much more fertile territory.

The problem is this: The only story they ever bother to tell is apparently the one which resonates most with comic fans. Nerd gets bullied by "idiot jock", nerd stumbles into amazing powers, nerd gets cheap, violent revenge. Or not. But the common thread is that there's some enormous moose in the hallway at school seemingly torturing our poor, helpless hero who has undiscovered poetry in his/ her soul and is looking for an opportunity to unleash it (and impress the pretty girl/ guy).

Ugh. It's bad enough that this is the perception of "how things are in high school", but let's be honest... everyone is a jerk to everyone else at that age. You don't need enormous "jocks" picking on "nerds" for 15-17 year olds to start bugging each other. And, secondly, the people buying these comics are how old? And they're still picking this stuff up?

I can take some of it. I do, after all, enjoy most of Ultimate Spider-Man. And the nebbish dweeb reveals amazing abilities was the basis for Action Comics #1. I even don't mid reading teen-books (I pick up Teen Titans). BUT, get a new origin. No more jock-pummeling wish fulfillment. Spider-Man did it first and did it better.

Oh, and Narnia Rant: I really want to see this movie. But I need to read the book first.