The Olympic Opening Ceremonies
Why am I watching this? It's 10:30 Mountain Time, I started watching around 6:30, and I have yet to think any of this is a very good idea.
At what point did the Olympic Opening Ceremonies become...
Oh, @#$%. It's Yoko Ono. Seriously. That woman makes me want to turn against peace. In fact, Yoko One makes me want to throw bricks at all shortish widows of former Beatles. She really knows how to milk John's legacy, doesn't she?
Okay, back to my point (I'm ignoring Peter Gabriel and his floating piano stand). When did the Olympic Ceremonies become a jumbo discount Cirque du Soleil? If you went from the bizarro ceremonies at the Olympics, you'd think that all people cared about in the host country was ancient history, ugly clothes and modern dance. Where the @#$% do they find all the acrobats, dippy dancers and silly costumers for these things? I'm sure most of Italy is watching this and is collectively slapping their forehead.
My theory: The wealthy backers of the Olympics bring the Olympics to town for the sole purpose of employing their underachieving children who got a useless degree and are now living in the basement waiting for their "big break".
I guess people pay to see stuff like this all the time. After all, people pay to see Cirque and all that stuff. There's something to watching people dressed in tights zip about that really appeals to upper middle class folks in search of culture.
Oh, here comes the torch. Flame on!
Passing thought: Why do the Americans use a Canadian company to make their winter gear for the ceremonies? Those outfits are dumb.
This torch thing is taking a while. Did you see Sophia Loren? She looks like she's slowly turning into gold. Why was Susan Sarandon there? I like Susan Sarandon, but, what was that..?
Whoa. the Olympic Flame looks like it should have Sauron's eye looking out of it. It's creepy.
Ah, well. No Katie Couric to ruin it all for me like she did the Summer Olympics. And every other thing she's ever managed to worm her way into. Just Costas and Brian Williams giving us the play-by-play of which country hates which other country as they entered the arena. Never thought you'd those Danish athletes looking over their shoulder, did you?
Well, now I have to sit through a lot of figure skating. The hardest part about that is not making comments upon what a fine figure some of the lady skaters make.
Oh, f'ing sweet. It's f'ing Pavarotti. Whoa. Dude, I can tell you're using "Just for Men". Wow, he's good. This is the first thing that's impressed me yet.
I guess I'll watch the luge. I like anything involving hurtling down a hill at very dangerous speeds with a high chance of a bone shattering wipe-out.
Pavarotti is wearing an f'ing cape. He's a total ruler. Man, that guy rocks the house.
That torch is totally freaking me out. Who was that? She was cute. I'm going to find out she's 15 and get in trouble.
Fireworks! SHAZAM!
Wow, that's way better than the fireworks in Chandler.
Young prosecutors, real consequences, only one thing counts... CONVICTION.
You know, when Steanso was a young defense attorney, I seem to recall him saying that was exactly the problem. Oh, well. He totally sold out and works for the system now. Way to become a tool of The Man.
Who the hell is Mary Carillo? She has a nice, tenor voice.
Anyway, I don't use the word "fruity" lightly, because I usually don't like the connotation. But, Leaguers, these Olympic openings seem to get fruitier and fruitier. Just watching the montage here at the end is making me realize that I will never get back the last four hours of my life. I am hard pressed to believe that if the show that I just watched wasn't tied to the Olympics that a single person would have watched it from beginning to end.
I also am totally baffled by the Bode Miller deal. He just doesn't interview well. What's the story here? He's a 20-something that drinks on the weekend? Stop the @#$%ing presses! Why are people turning on this guy? He's the first person I've liked in the olympics who wasn't a Russian female figure skater. He also keeps telling the press he doesn't care for them. Well, they LOVE that, Bode. Ah, well. I still have no idea what his sport is.
Ah, well. I just want to give a final salute to the guys who intentionally set their heads on fire and skated around the arena. That's dedication, Leaguers.
And an extra shout out to the poor balding bastard who got thrown off the Skeleton Crew for using Propecia. That poor guy just wanted to reduce the shine for a while longer... The anti-doping agency is dumb.
Oh my GOD, my local network sent their dumbest Scottsdale bimbo to the Olympics for local coverage. Ughhh... I can take no more.
Seacrest out.
Friday, February 10, 2006
I can only point you to this story from The Beat.
Apparently Disney and NBC/ Universal have come to some sort of odd swap that trades my favorite fixture of Football Sportscasting for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
Yes, it seems Al Michaels is being swapped for Walt Disney's beta-version of Mickey Mouse, which was owned by Universal.
With this item and the story on NPR today about the potential for the IRS to begin taxing awards won in games like World of Warcraft that now appear to have real financial value, I can only feel like the boundaries between the real and the imaginary are at last collapsing in a way which will really suit my lifestyle.
Man, I would give my left arm to be swapped for QuickDraw McGraw. That would be so @#$%ing cool.
Apparently Disney and NBC/ Universal have come to some sort of odd swap that trades my favorite fixture of Football Sportscasting for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
Yes, it seems Al Michaels is being swapped for Walt Disney's beta-version of Mickey Mouse, which was owned by Universal.
With this item and the story on NPR today about the potential for the IRS to begin taxing awards won in games like World of Warcraft that now appear to have real financial value, I can only feel like the boundaries between the real and the imaginary are at last collapsing in a way which will really suit my lifestyle.
Man, I would give my left arm to be swapped for QuickDraw McGraw. That would be so @#$%ing cool.
I know what ice cream treat The League will be enjoying this summer. The Superman Homepage has a blurb on an upcoming Superman themed ice cream treat from Nestle's.
Read here.
Read here.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Worst Idea in the World Files
Wow. I HAVE to assume, despite the reliable news source, that this is a joke.
Randy sends this along.
Jamie is sitting behind me shouting "How?" "Why?"
I can assume that if your career plans involve a well secured brass pole that you might find a use.
Ladies, one day you may be a sweet 'ol granny. Just keep that in mind when you decide it would be awesome to have your boob playing Outkast.
I do wonder: How does one recharge the device? If a little gel causes cancer, what's a leaky battery going to do?
I can't wait to be able to download "Boot Scoot Boogie" to my pace maker and have "Enter Sandman" as part of my "male enhancement" plans.
Wow. I HAVE to assume, despite the reliable news source, that this is a joke.
Randy sends this along.
Jamie is sitting behind me shouting "How?" "Why?"
I can assume that if your career plans involve a well secured brass pole that you might find a use.
Ladies, one day you may be a sweet 'ol granny. Just keep that in mind when you decide it would be awesome to have your boob playing Outkast.
I do wonder: How does one recharge the device? If a little gel causes cancer, what's a leaky battery going to do?
I can't wait to be able to download "Boot Scoot Boogie" to my pace maker and have "Enter Sandman" as part of my "male enhancement" plans.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Real-Life Superheroes File: Mr. Silent
In case you missed it a while back when we discussed Real-Life Superhero Mr. Silent, you might want to check this out.
Anyhoo, go through the comments section. Mr. Silent takes some time out of his busy schedule to drop a "howdy" to The League and explain a bit about himself.
This is THRICE that someone commented upon has popped up to put in their two cents after I made a post. I'm pretty darn excited by this incident as, well, Mr. Silent is a SUPERHERO. As you know, The League supports superheroes, but it's not often we get one chiming in.
So, thanks, Mr. Silent! Keep up the good work. We appreciate all that you do.
Now, let's be careful out there.
In case you missed it a while back when we discussed Real-Life Superhero Mr. Silent, you might want to check this out.
Anyhoo, go through the comments section. Mr. Silent takes some time out of his busy schedule to drop a "howdy" to The League and explain a bit about himself.
This is THRICE that someone commented upon has popped up to put in their two cents after I made a post. I'm pretty darn excited by this incident as, well, Mr. Silent is a SUPERHERO. As you know, The League supports superheroes, but it's not often we get one chiming in.
So, thanks, Mr. Silent! Keep up the good work. We appreciate all that you do.
Now, let's be careful out there.
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