Monday, August 28, 2006

Just Say No:

Leaguers, I admit I got a little squeamish this weekend when it came to another taste test and never pulled the product off the shelf.

Jamie and I went to get a sno-cone last night. I got a "Batman" flavored sno-cone. I queried why they had a Popeye and a Batman flavor, but no Superman or Wonder Woman flavor... the jughead teenager behind the counter responded with "Huh huh huh huh huh... I dunno."

How did Batman flavoring taste? I tell you Leaguers, it was the delicious taste of justice. And that is exactly what I told both Jamie and the kid behind the counter.

At the sno-cone shop they have candy, which is where last week's Mallow Dog was discovered. This week they also had Mallow Burgers and Mallow Fries. I was going to have another mallow meal, but I think I've already done my due diligence on mallow shaped into a form resembling foods which I enjoy in their natural state.


Move Update:

I think we're on a good pace for packing and being ready to go on the 14th. That's when the movers are showing up. We've now gotten to packing pots and pans and whatnot, so we can't easily cook anymore, so most of my meals will be sandwiches, cereal or out of the microwave.

I also think we've reached a point where we're just a day away from agreeing on our closing on a house in Austin.

Now... to find a job.


Animaniacs:

I've never made a secret of my love of the mid-90's cartoon Animaniacs. Most people remember Pinky and the Brain and the Warner Siblings, but the show was more or less a variety show with a rotating bunch of shorts. Rita and the Runt (a singing cat and a Rainman inspired dog), Mindy and Buttons (a play on the classic "baby in trouble" cartoons), Goodfeathers (a Goodfellas inspired pigeon cartoon), Slappy Squirrel (a retired cartoon star and her nephew), Mr. Skull Head, Katie Ka-Boom, the Hippos, Minerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Doctor Scratchnsniff, and, of course, Chicken Boo.

The show worked off the theory that if you tell a joke every ten seconds, it doesn't matter if 2/3rds of them are groaners or stinkers... it's all about keeping pace with the dialogue and visual gags.

Anyhoo, as Nathan pointed out in the post with video below, there's really nothing like it on TV today. Kids cartoons are mostly poorly animated, cheaply produced (and generally unfunny) stuff that relies on lots of screaming and gnashing of teeth in a diluted 3rd generation Ren & Stimpy fashion. Or, of course, the imported anime stuff. Some of which is okay. Other shows are inexplicably popular, like Yu-Gi-Oh, which is a cartoon about people playing a dungeons and dragons-like card game and doing a lot of smack talking.

Whatever the kids like, I guess.


Randy fails to step up

So, Randy had pitched the idea of a "Friends of The League" site. I asked last week what you guys might do with such a site as I wasn't clear on what Randy was getting at. I think the comments section pretty much covers the necessary territory. Also, honestly Leaguers... my life is not a TV show. I'd like to think I'm thick-skinned, but I'm also not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of a forum for people to critically analyze my life. That's creepy.

But, hey... what the heck... if it all went to heck I could tell you guys exactly where you could stick your @#$%ing website, right?

So, Friday night I went on to Blogger.com and spent the prerequisite ten minutes to establish a new blog, dubbed it "Hall of Melbotis", and invited a few Loyal Leaguers to join. I had no idea what would happen.

Well, nothing happened. Of the seven or so folks I asked to respond, only Steanso showed up, and that was more or less to insult me and then disappear. Which is sort of how he was involved in my life from 1991-1995. It was like old times.

Leaguers, thus ends the "We should set up a website for Friends of The League!" experiment. Randy, you really, really, really, really just disappointed all of us.


A Show for Peabo and JMD

There's a good documentary show that's been running on Sunday evenings on the History Channel. It's about the Revolutionary War, and is aptly titled "The Revolution."

You guys would dig it.

Here


Comics:

For the first time in weeks I actually got a chance to read all of the comics I picked up on Wednesday. Well, all of the new ones. It's been that kind of busy at League HQ.

I'm also busily putting comics in long boxes in the right place for the last time before I move. After the boxes get closed and taped up, that's it until we hit Austin and unpack fully. All new comics will go in a single longbox for a while until I can sort through them and re-organize.

I've come to the sorry realization that my genre/character/ publisher organization system is no longer realistic nor adequate. I may actually have to alphabetize. It doesn't probably seem like a big deal, but the genre/character/publisher system is how I've been sorting comics since I was 13 or 14 and got my first long box. (I still have that box. It says "Ryan's comics! Keep your mits off!" in fat black ink).

My weekend reading did give me a list of at least three titles I think I'm dumping:

Supergirl
Supergirl and the Legion of Superheroes
Hawkgirl

It's too bad, because I was looking forward to those series in the OYL jump. But I'm basically not enjoying any of the three series. I have pedged to pick up the NEXT issue of Supergirl as they appear to finally be getting down to brass tacks and establishing some sort of environment for her to operate in. I really, really don't understand how they've gotten 10 issues in (and something like 3 years since her debut) and nobody has noticed that there's no character established yet.

I'm iffy on:

The Creeper
Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters
anything written by Steve Englehart
Robin
Firestorm
Blue Beetle
Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis

I'm a little peeved about the Steve Englehart thing as I appreciate that the guy was important to DC 25 years ago, but his Batman story last year was mediocre and his runs on JLA: Classified and JSA: Classified were pointless, dull, and reminded me of why I didn't read DC in the 80's. And if he keeps popping up in comics I collect on a subscription basis, then I have to think about things like breaking a run on a series and cancelling and restarting a subscription.

Blue Beetle was on the chopping block until issue #6 when someone finally DID something. This book needs to have a better editor or else someone needs to explain to Keith Giffen how to establish a story before you drop your reader into the middle of the action.

I'm not sure why, but the insistence to get to the action without establishing why we're there seems to be a pretty common flaw in a lot of comics, even by veterans like Giffen.

Which brings us to Meltzer's Justice League of America #1 which I said nice things about last week and I'll say nice things about this week. I read one review which stated that the comic was already detouring into a "soap opera" with the Red Tornado storyline. I'm not sure when fleshing out characterization and giving characters motivations became a "soap opera", but I thought that was a pretty poor reading of what was a pretty darn good comic. Of anything done since the end of Infinite Crisis, this series is impressing me the most, and we've only had two issues (there was an issue #0... it's sort of tough to explain). The point being is that there's a conflict being presented before we come to fisticuffs.
It's a great big universe...

Saturday, August 26, 2006

I keep forgetting to post this...

It's a link to some mock-ups and whatnot of what the Transformers will look like in the upcoming Michael Bay-directed live-action Transformers movie.

Here.

At some point I lost interest in Transformers. I'm not sure why. I always enjoyed fiddling with my Transformers toys as a kid (Optimus Prime was always my favorite), but as an adult I didn't have a particular nostalgia for the characters.

But, heck yeah... it's not like they don't have the CG down now to handle a cool transformation, so I'll pay $8 and see this movie. I wish they'd hire back the original voice actors from the cartoon for Optimus, Megatron, Starscream and Bumblebee.

RHPT loves the Transformers, so, by God, I'm going to post this for him.

And if you scroll down on this link, there's a pic of a guy with a Bumblebee prop.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Hey, Jim Parsons is in a new commercial for Stride gum.

Go Jim!

Go to Stride's website to see Jim here.
QUICK BITS

Aisde from pondering the imponderables of a universe comprised of multiple dimensions, all separated by a mere vibrational frequency discovered by The Flash, and which has upset comic fans in a way I've begun to find hilarious...

What else do I have for you?

Over at Cowgirl Funk, Maxwell has been considering the Haude Elementary Fifth Grade play. I didn't attend Haude in 5th grade, but Steanso did. And I remember him wandering around our house on Ella Blvd. humming the tunes to himself.


here


How It Should Have Ended: Superman the Movie



(found at Superman Homepage)

There may be a movie of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster's life in the works.


So You Want to be a Superhero? has spun wildly out of control. Apparently by casting fairly decent people who grow to care about one another over the course of a program rather than trying to destroy one another, every elimination round is now filled with tears and hugs. With people in tights and capes. Kind of odd. Nonetheless, I am really digging the show and, despite a sad lack of Monkey Woman, I think they narrowed it down to the best three.

Did you see Fat Momma with the kids? She was really good.


And while this comic strip is rated "R" for language, it kind of reminds me of college. So enjoy.

(Courtesy of Amy C.'s blog)



RHPT asked about setting up a Friends of the League site. I don't want to do it, but if you guys want to do, it go nuts. What would you want on such a site, anyway?
Okay Comic Geeks

Can someone tell me why some comic fans (mostly longtime Marvel fans) find the multiple Earths concept so mindboggling as to swear off DC Comics, but don't bat an eye when Marvel has the Ultimates Universe, the Exiles popping from one dimension to the next in each issue, the Zombie universe, the Negative Zone and wherever Squadron Supreme (both incarnations) is supposed to live?

1) How is this any different from the multiple Earths?
2) Is it the numbering system? Because I think that's the problem.


Okay, so sometimes comics are a little hard to jump right into...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Rambling evening update


I guess I've been on the quiet side the past few days. No new posts and whatnot since the weekend update (delayed to make room for The Admiral's B-Day) and the great Mallow Dog taste test (which actually occurred over the weekend).

I've been really busy with work as I wind up my current job and also start a new semester for the online kiddies. I tried to get Jamie to fill in for me yesterday, but she was also busy dealing with house-related work. Buying, selling and moving a house across the country is a full-time job. I do not understand how people are able to perform this particular hat-trick who do not have someone available to work on all the related tasks during the working day.

I also am getting old. These days when I have a long day at work, I'm ready to start wandering off to bed at 10:00. What happened to fun-time 26 year old Ryan who would stay up until 2:00AM playing The Sims and then get up at 6:30, have a gallon of coffee and still make it to Tae Kwon Do? Sure, most of my twenties is now a caffeine-riddled blur, but I squeezed a lot of hours out of my day. I haven't loved sleep this much since high school.

I also haven't been running. Sure, today I can use the pouring rain as an excuse, but yesterday...? The only day I've been running this week was Tuesday, and that's pathetic.

Last night I finally saw my LCS-owner. He's been AWOL for a while, allowing his lieutenants to run the shop. Apparently he's planning to close his doors in December.

I find it depressing, but it's also been fascinating to watch him take over the shop and make what I consider to be genuine improvements, only to get busy with the details of life, get hit with the ebb and flow of the student population shrinking over summer, and now the city is planning major construction outside his door which will basically prevent access to the shop for a year or two. I have some ideas for what I might have done to change the store up a bit more and make it like unto Austin Books (given size constraints), but fate has dealt the guy a pretty tough hand. Plus, one of his loyalist customers is pulling up stakes and leaving town, so that's money out of his pocket.

I love the idea of owning a comic shop, but it's a tough racket. I've always sort of felt that I couldn't handle the idea of having to deal with comic-dorks day in and day out. I think a lot of these guys sort of feel like a comic shop is their living room and want to treat the shop that way, but that's not good for anybody BUT those comic dorks. There's a reason Moms get uncomfortable taking their 12-year old into a lot of comic shops, and the trashed basement/ never-kissed-a-girl boys' club feel of comic shops is tough to mitigate, but its do-able. Atomic Comics at the Chandler Mall is making money hand over fist because the front of the store is filled with Yu-Gi-Oh, Godzilla and kid-friendly fare. It's clean and shiny. The employees wear a uniform black t-shirt with the store logo. It basically looks like a store and not like the dorky guy's dorm room.

Austin Books might still be a bit intimidating for the moms, but for the adult crowd, the store is wonderfully laid out with wall shelves displaying covers of new comics, areas for specific creators, toys and whatnot nicely displayed around the perimeter of the back, and a large, open area for long boxes full of back-issues in the back.

But, mostly, if an employee walks by and you're not already elbow deep in back issues of Action Comics, they ask you if they can help you. Not: "What are you looking for?" (which to me is sort of a tough question to ask people who are just wandering in off the street and might be a one-time buyer) Not: "Let me tell you about my favorite comic..." So, yeah... It's a little more approachable. And because there's not a gaggle of guys hanging out by the front door, you aren't breaking up a conversation just by walking by the counter. It doesn't feel like a big deal to ask to see one of the collector's item issues behind the glass.

I'm going to be going on a bit of a comic-shop odyssey when I get to Austin. Part of it will be trying to figure out if I want to buy near my house (there are at least two stores within three miles) or wherever I end up working. Obviously I'm pretty picky, but I'll be chasing that discount all the way, so if i end up half-way across town, I end up half-way across town. With the number of titles I follow, I can't afford not to get a discount.

Oh, and speaking of comics: Justice League #1 by Brad Meltzer and Ed Benes was really, really good. I'm hoping the Dr. Impossible character (I know, I already lost some of you with a character named Dr. Impossible) is a forshadowing of Mr. Miracle making the final cut for the new JLA. If not, he's still an interesting idea, so I look forward to seeing this all play out. And that's the key, isn't it?

Also, did anyone else read Batman 656? I wasn't sure what Morrison meant by ditching the somber, moody Batman, but this is the most excited I've been by a Batman comic in a long time. There's no mistaking that it's still Batman, but the spin is very good, and the story is already showing all the signs of Morrison-style madness. Plus, the art by Andy Kubert is top-notch, adding to the story in a way that really uses the medium. Sure, it harkens back to the giant type-writer days, but in a way that makes sense. If this is the Batman to come, I'm onboard.

I am going to be taking advantage of my change of comic shops to do a purge of comics that I'm currently picking up on a monthly basis. Some of them I've been reading out of some misplaced sense of loyalty. Some of these I've been collecting out of habit. I don't look forward to putting comics on the chopping block, but if I take it off my pull list and see that I really miss the title, well... Hopefully I can still pick it up off the shelf and eventually add it back to the list. However, a lot of the time when I drop a title, it stays dropped until the title is cancelled or there's a massive overhaul in the creative teams on the book.

We'll see.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Weekend in Review:

Not much to report about the weekend.

I don't honestly remember what we did Friday night. It couldn't have been too spectacular.

Jamie is still fighting a cold she got when we flew to Austin. This is reason # 281 that we need to be back in Texas. Every time we fly, Jamie picks up whatever is in the air. And with the Feds telling her she can't bring her Purell hand-sanitizer on the plane, they're pretty much committing their own little act of bio-terrorism on her immune system. Thanks, terrorists, and thanks, federal government.

Saturday we had the Home Inspector come through the house. He was a really nice guy, and he showed up on time. I am hoping that this translates into a favorable home inspection for us, especially as his biggest question was "who laid your tile?" Apparently our tile is laid poorly. I never noticed.

I've heard some reports that a Loyal Leaguer here and there did NOT like Superman Returns. Well, I'm sorry about that. I could only qualify my statements regarding my enjoyment of the movie so many ways. You're on your own after that.

After the home inspector left, we jumped in the car and drove down to the second-run IMAX theater at the massive mall off the I-10 and 60. We decided to forego "Snakes on a Plane" in favor of seeing Superman in IMAX in 3-D. I may actually go to a late viewing of SOAP on my own later this week. I'm not sure Jamie is interested.

Superman in 3-D was very, very cool. The scenes selected for 3-D conversion were well chosen, and the 3-D worked much better than any of the 3-D at the various Disney theme parks. I suspect a lot of the success had to do with the massive lenses on the glasses and the size of the screen. The 3-D definitely brought an immediacy to the action, but the moment a scene slowed down you did become a bit aware of the technical aspects. I'm not a fan of being pulled out of a narrative unless the story is structured as an examination of the narrative, so I'm glad I didn't see the movie in 3-D until the 3rd viewing.

I think they can pretty much do anything they want for a sequel. Seeds were definitely sown, and there were a lot of big old plot threads which need to be sewn up. Essentially, the Luthor plot really is the secondary story of the movie. Necessary for the "super" portion of the tale, but this is a small story in a lot of ways.

Anyhoo, after leaving the theater we headed into the big, frightening mall. I'm not exactly sure what the story is at Arizona Mills, but I say without exaggerating, roughly 20% of the square footage of the mall is comprised of athletic shoe stores. This, of course, is completley irritating to learn just before I leave town as I have always had a very hard time finding shoes since I moved here.

We really didn't do a whole lot after all that. Watched some TV, played with the dogs and counted sheep.

Sunday I tried to revive my Dell Inspiron 1100 as I will soon have to give up my shiny, lovely work laptop. It was my first experience in over a decade re-installing an OS. Boy, that process is just as much today as it was in 1995.

Also organized some comics in preparation for the move. All in all, not a bad day as far as getting stuff done, but nothing too exciting.

Hope all is well with you guys.
LEAGUE TASTE TEST
The regrettable "mallow" hot dog



What is mallow? We've all had a marshmallow at some point, either roasted on a stick over a campfire, buried in our Lucky Charms or tucked between chocolate and a graham cracker. But what is Mallow?

Friday night I was buying a sno-cone (bubble-gum flavored) and perusing the candy aisle when a certain something caught my eye. The Mallow Dog.



The MALLOW DOG

It looked like a hotdog, but was not. I'm always a fan of food that is meant to look like one type of food, but is not. Example: Swedish Fish. Also, Runts. Those little gummy hamburgers. Etc...

If a hot dog is a veritable cornucopia of animal by-product, what could a mallow dog possibly contain?



Only a buck forty-nine!

The packaging promised "All American 'Fun'". I'm an American. I like fun. Maybe not "fun", but I like fun. I suspect the copy writer for the package was all too-aware of what lay in store for the consumer.

I think "fun" is a pretty apropos term for most items that you can get at the "Water & Ice" store. It also applies to most forms of "fun" in Chandler, AZ.




The Mallow Dog experiences freedom, like a good American

The texture was sort of powdery and squishy, but still firm enough to hold it's shape. Firmer, indeed, than a Jet-Puffed marshmallow. And it smelled like cheap, cheap perfume.





All American?

The mallow dog's ingredients were listed in a way which seemed to indicate that the producer was listing them only grudgingly. Also, I noticed the mallow dog had been made in China and imported to San Diego. It truly was all American.

You can click on the picture for greater detail.




VS!

We tried a side-by-side comparison of mallow dog versus hot dog. Suddenly the mallow dog looked woefully unappetizing in a way it just hadn't before. It looked like some sort of muppet-inspired prop food which had escaped an acid-fueled nightmare. And it smelled really bad.



ehhhhhh

there's that smell. God. That's awful.





...ehhhh....

i briefly consider an abort. After all, this isn't technically food. It's a mix of organic and inorganic substances which will not necessarily kill me if it passes through my GI tract.





Who wants to live forever..?

There's a well-learned fear in my eyes here. Obviously my brain was trying to stop me from doing this, but me and Mr. Brain haven't been on speaking terms in two decades.





nummy

this photo was taken about four seconds before regret kicked in.





regret

Whoop. There's that regret.

Yeah, that thing tastes sort of like a big asprin, but with the texture of a foam pillow, or maybe packing materials.

In reviewing these photos I also realize I should have showered between mowing the lawn and the taste test. I think we're looking at about 30 hours without a shower here.




expulsion!

Jamie was not fast enough to get a photo of me expectorating the mallow dog into the trash (see how neatly we pile our recycling...?)





not real food

I don't know what the hell this thing was supposed to be. it wasn't good and it didn't taste like anything fit for human consumption. I am no ccloser to understanding what the hell mallow is, but I do know I'm not going to keep up this line of research.





False advertising

Can I sue for this? This wasn't a great tasting anything. This thing tasted like sugar and bad perfume.





never again

And thus ended the taste test.

On the whole, this sort of ruined my appreaciation for foods that look like other foods, but you kind of have to appreciate the fact that we live in a world where you can make a fake hot dog out of marshmallows in a factory in China, ship it to the US where it is finally sealed, and then send it out to be consumed by dudes like The League. That's what a free market economy is all about.

It's all about "fun".

Sunday, August 20, 2006

ALL HAIL THE ADMIRAL
for today is his big birthday

Happy B-Day, Admiral! I hope they got you a cake or something at work to celebrate the glorious event.

The Admiral is a decent guy. Born in New Jersey, he quickly picked up stakes and left the Garden State to move to sunny Dade County, Florida. Raised in the southern sun and with entirely too much sea air, the Admiral mostly spent his days filling buckets with gasoline, throwing in handfuls of bullets and adding a lit match. Perhaps this was his way of trying to escape from the shadow of Uncle B (International Man of Mystery) who had made such an impression on most of southern Florida.

The Admiral up and joined the Air Force, where he found himself working on radios and a good tan out on the flight line. This was, of course, before he was deployed to a mysterious land we know today as Vietnam, where the admiral spent his evenings ducking for cover and his days trading cigarettes for Ho-Ho's.

From Vietnam The Admiral was then sent to the Mid-West where he was accidentally stationed at KI Sawyer AFB in the snowy wastelands of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It was here, in a drunken stupor, that The Admiral first caught the eye of the KareBear. They're still beer-goggling it almost 40 years later, God bless 'em. Legend has it that the KareBear was a mean, mean dancer in her day. Word has it that the Admiral was four-sheets to the wind in order to gather up the courage to talk to my Ma. Well, he got in the first word, but she's still chatting on 40 years later.

We're a little hazy as to the next 25 years or so, but here's how we think it went.

The Admiral was more or less honorably dischared from the Air Force, got engaged to the KareBear at some point, and then headed back to Florida to make quick use of his GI Bill dough. So, some community college and a wedding later, The Admiral nabbed KareBear, removed her from her native habitat of igloos and polar bears and dropped her into South Florida.

At some point The Admiral was accepted to U of Florida, where he earned his bachelor's degree and rolled right into his MBA, which the Karebear was bankrolling on her fat public teacher's salary. Karebear got her Masters in Reading Ed, and this is pretty much where I start to feel uncomfortable about having not completed my post-secondary education. Anyway, The Admiral became an accountant of sorts and went to work at an aerospace company crunching numbers. Jason came along about that time, spawned from the swamps of Lake Okeechobee, and The Admiral decided that Ford might provide some opportunity. So, they loaded up the car and moved back to Michigan.

They were lucky enough to be blessed with what I like to believe was my completely planned-upon arrival about a year and a half-later.

I have two very early memories of my Dad: 1) Going to see Star Wars and 2) Going to see Superman. I have no idea why KareBear wasn't there, but The Admiral knew what a young mind needed to see to grow properly. I also remember him being there for Empire, Superman II, and taking us to a sneak preview of "The Last Starfighter." He is a sci-fi geek, The Admiral is.

Anyhoo, for some reason The Admiral skipped out on Ford, and when I was four we moved to Dallas where I have my first memories of The Admiral walking around in ill-fitting shorts. That was a lot of Saturdays. He was game and got involved in Indian Guides (the least PC, but most entertaining organization I've ever been involved with).

Shortly thereafter we wound up in Houston where the Admiral decided I needed to learn to mow the lawn. I've never really forgiven him for that. But he did give me one really good bit of advice: keep your fingers away from the blades. In Houston the Admiral became a linesman for my soccer matches, and I have very firm memories of seeing him zipping up and down the sidelines wearing a baseball hat and putting a lot of dramatic flair into letting folks know who last kicked the ball.

Also, the Admiral read the paper a lot. I have lots of memories of standing behind the paper while the Admiral tried to relax in his easy chair, while I tried to figure out how to get his attention without causing too much noise.

Always up for getting out of the house, he took me to see "Bambi" instead of "Delta Force" when I was 7 or 8. And he took me to see Footloose, The Black Stallion and a whole bunch of other movies that had nothing to do with being manly.

In 1984 we all picked up and moved to Austin for the first time. The Admiral accidentally selected an odd blue color for our house, believing he'd picked a slate-gray. I've never forgotten that particular family spat. However, it did make our house easy to find.

It was in Austin that The Admiral began to refer to The League as "Boy". As in "Boy, get out there and mow the lawn." A practice which continues to this day.

The Admiral worked a lot, and I recall spending some Saturdays up at his office playing with the photocopier and taking tours of the data center at Martin-Decker. Everybody knew The Admiral and seemed to like him, so that was always sort of fun.

He was both our Indian Guides "Chief" and a "Den Mother" for our Cub Scout Troop that year when Karebear was sick of gluing popsicle sticks together and handing out badges. We attended camps together with lame names like "Dad and Lad", but we had fun trying to fish, hiking about in the woods, and the cruel, cruel joke of sending myself and the other scouts on a snipe hunt. I was 17 before I realized there was no such thing as a snipe.

Wisely, The Admiral put a healthy fear of guns into Jason and I by taking us out with a .22 rifle and letting us shoot at a cliffside, only to hear the bullets ricocheting all around us. I've never been interested in handling a gun since.

We weren't nearly close to injured enough, so the Steans Men took up scuba diving and that made for some grand vacations. And nobody (I tell you, NOBODY) looks better in a wet suit than yours truly.

Later, the Admiral would teach me to drive in our neighborhood, constantly referring to other drivers as if they were enemy planes. I'm not sure what exciting WWII picture he had running in his head, but I was always shocked that he never asked me to wear a little leather flight-cap and goggles when we got in the car. To this day I wonder what The Admiral is seeing and hearing when the rest of us are just sitting in traffic.

We all moved to Houston (well, not Jason) in 1990ish. I mostly remember The Admiral pointing out that the garage needed a storage space, then pointing to some sheetwood, a power saw and a ladder and telling me not to cut anything off we couldn't reattach. Again, I was forced to mow the lawn. This time Jason was not there to edge and trim.

The Admiral was originally dubbed "The Captain" at some point around 1992. Why this occured has been lost to time. But I think it came after a lot of trial and error, including the names: Pops, Pumpkinhead (I have no idea where that came from either), Old Man and a host of others. Somehow, "The Captain" stuck.

At this point I recall The Admiral was around a lot, still reading the paper, obsessed with CNN during the first Gulf War, and always lending a hand during my goofy high school thespian days. And, honestly, I can't tell you what a relief it was when he completely didn't care that I quit the basketball team.

Luckily, the Admiral and KareBear's hard work and insistence that I do my homework paid off, and they footed the bill for college. Mostly. I mean, eating was out for whole days at a time when I moved out of the dorm, but you'd be surprised how long you can stretch a bag of beef jerky. I felt like a pirate on the high seas. But, like a pirate, I worried about scurvy.

Upon Graduation and after having had stretched his dollars as far as they would go, The Captain was promoted to "The Admiral", as leader of our fleet.

SInce that time The Admiral has been both a VP of finance for a really big company that makes valves (it's true!), as well as continuing to lead our tiny fleet.

Well done Admiral. Today, I hoist a flag in your honor.

At the risk of being a complete sissy: I am your son, and I love you.

Now go out and there and tie one on for the team.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Idle Speculation

I am not a detective. I don't have any clues other than what's on CNN. But does the whole thing with this Karr guy getting picked up in Thailand for the death of JonBenet Ramsey not just feel... off?

Like most folks, back in 1996 I assumed that JonBenet's death had been at the hands of a family member. A few years ago I was watching a news magazine program or true-crime show (thought I think it was Dateline or 48 Hours) and they brought on a retired federal agent who had gone into business as a consultant and had eventually been hired by the Ramseys. Since watching that guy, who always seemed a lot more credible than the Sherriff's Dept. of Boulder, CO, I've more or less believed that the Ramseys didn't committ any crime. Or else they went way out of their way to leave evidence pointing to someone else and the Boulder cops didn't pick up on it.

Anyhoo, I'm willing to put money down that this Karr guy may have committed many crimes in his life, but that he was not in Colorado on the night of JonBenet Ramsey's death. That said, it would be nice to see the actual perpetrator brought to trial.


COMICS

Well, Leaguers, you've probably noticed a sad lack of reviews around here, but you guys also haven't really been clamoring to find out what's going on with the All New Atom or anything, so until I'm in a state of mind to jump into reviews, etc... once more, you will have to go without.

If I had to make some suggestions:

The new Checkmate series by Greg Rucka is written so well it makes my head hurt. It's rife with the frustating political tango/ espionage sort of stories that makes you want to pull your hair out, but you suspect is a lot closer to how the real world works than you want to spend the energy thinking about. Well characterized, mature stories, nice art and, hey... it's got Mr. Terrific! The League loves Mr. Terrific.

All-Star Superman continues to be very good. I'm eagerly anticipating issue #5.

The first issues of the post OYL core Batman titles are uniformly good. The new editorial team has already pulled Batman out of the endless cycle of being a jerk to everyone around him.


You Say Goodbye, I Say Wha-?

So, I was supposed to end my job on August 25th, but I pushed the date back to September 8th. My co-workers had already planned a goodbye party for me, so on Wednesday I had a pretty elaborate good-bye party.

We had a nice ice cream cake and apparently everyone was given a dollar limit and told to go buy me a Superman themed gift. So, consequently I am now the proud owner of the Superman Returns Heat Vision Scope, a Superman basketball and severla other Super items. Plus a red towel with a super-logo taped to the back. I tacked that to the wall, cape style. It looks sharp.

As I'm not gone yet, it was a bit like attending your own funeral. At UT I went to the party, said my good-bye's, went back to my office, checked my e-mail and left. Here I have to start a new semester and continue through what is our busiest time of the year for the next few weeks.

Anyhow, it's nice to know the people you work with can at least fake liking you. I was both genuinely surprised and moved. I sort of expected a happy hour and that would be that.
What Up With The League?

DC Direct... it is as if you can read my mind (such as it is).

Can a Helen Slater Supergirl statue be far behind? Well, probably, yes. But I'm betting 2008 gets us a Christopher Reeve Superman.

Whoo-Hoo! Wonder Woman. My first and oldest crush.


Today has been sort of crazy. Again. We agreed to an offer on our house. So... now we have to have the house inspected, have something called an LSR approved, and then wait for some interminable amount of time for full loan approval for Ryan of Earth-3.

We've got a few days before we can move from "active-with contingency" to "pending". The whole pending thing is key, because it means that realtors are far, far less likely to keep showing League HQ to the public. Which means we can live in our house again and breathe.

But it also means we can start thinking about a house in Austin. Hopefully the future League HQ we'd picked out will still be available. Otherwise, we gotta head back to town and start looking again. Bleh.

Honestly, I totally DO NOT understand the house buying/ selling thing. You can't buy a different house until you sell your own house. So, what I don't get is that, if all goes well, we're supposed to close on the 15th. Which means that, in theory Ryan of Earth-3 could move in his stuff that day. Which means we have to move our stuff out by the 14th. BUT, because it takes about the same amount of time to run the process for us on our end, we would probably close after the 15th.

My point is, for all the houses that are bought and sold in the US, I've as of yet heard a satisfactory explanation for how people usually get their stuff from one place to another, and where the hell their stuff is inbetween houses. If we're out on the 14th, doesn't it stand to reason we should already have a place for it to be on the 14th?

Of course we keep hearing stories of gloom and doom about how someone's loan can fall through at the 11th hour and we'd be stuck with a house we now can't afford because we have two mortgage payments, plus we're stuck with having to put the house on the market again.

It seems like there's got to be a smarter way to do this, but nobody seems to know what it might be.

All very confusing.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Comic Dorkout

Is it just me, or did Civil War: Frontline #5 dip into DC territory?

Essentially setting up The Negative Zone as Marvel's answer to The Phantom Zone, complete with a Kingdom Come-style Gulag.

However, this is Marvel U which is usually set up to not have quite the crazy technology or have characters popping around between dimensions at will. I get the whole Gitmo thing, but this series is turning into a well plotted and scripted, yet somehow ham-handed, allegory. Okay.

So... Just who the heck built that Negative Zone prison thingy? Normally I don't dwell on these sorts of tidbits, but I was just having a hard time buying government contractors hanging out in the Negative Zone for the year or so it would take to build a facility of the scope that they're suggesting. Which also suggests a massive government payout to build the thing, not to mention the fact that we're only a few months into Civil War, which may mean the facility has been there for quite some time.

In the DCU you can build a massive underground evil-shrine/ terrorist complex under a major metropolitan area and nobody will notice. Marvel's never really been into anything that wacky.When a transdimensional fortress appears in the DCU, there's usually some sorry explanation like "We contacted Orion and Big Barda and they brought us New Genesis technology, which we used to construct the facility in a few weeks". You just sort of learn after a while of reading DC books that this sort of stuff just sort of occurs.

So, no wonder Annihilus is so irritable these days over in Annihilation. He's got all these humans in his front yard, tearing the place up. It would make me want to destroy the universe, too.

And uhmmm...


(located by Superman Homepage)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

1) For Jim...

Who is making the great escape.





2) Sometimes even The League doesn't know what to make of some Superman fandom.

I can't believe it's butter.


3) I don't think we're going to jinx it, so I'm going to go ahead and share this:

Some dude named Ryan has made us an offer on the house.

Apparently he's a big comic geek.

I don't even know what to make of that.

I hope he enjoys our Spider-Man wallpaper border. And getting my junk mail.


4) This means we can probably move forward with thinking about departing for Austin.

5) I have a vision of Jason sitting on my front porch with his guitar, pickin'n'grinnin.

6) I'm pretty busy. Tonight has been sort of odd and crazy.

7) Flavor of Love Season 2 is somehow even more disturbing than Season 1. I can't look away.

8) I have no way to document or prove it, but I was flipping channels this evening and went past an infomercial where they had printed across the bottom of the screen that a woman had achieved "FINANACIAL SUCCESS".

sound it out, kids... sound it out...
Arden Update



Arden continues to rock out...

This photo reminds me of a fine tune by the Presidents of the United States of America.

Poke & Destroy

Girls, girls, girls, girls are so polite
They don't crush everything that they see
You can take 'em to a funky funky forest with big glass spiderwebs
Hangin' from the ceilin'
They wouldn't feel the uncontrollable urge
To tip and push and kick and rip and tear and smash and squish and...

Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!

([Spoken:] "Poke and Destroy")

I want to poke!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(and destroy!)

Boys, boys, boys, boys are set to kill
They wanna crush everything that they see
You could take 'em to a creepy museum with dinosaur bones
Hangin' from the ceilin'
They'd feel the uncontrollable urge
To tip and push and kick and rip and tear and smash and squish and'

Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!

(poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke and destroy!)
I want to poke!

(kick it down, rip it down, burn it down and kick it! Yeah!)
And destroy

(and we'll do it 500 more times!)

Ahhhh...Ahhhh...Ahhhh...Ahhhh!

Out in the wild with a girl I know
She see a little thing in the sand
She pretend to leave it alone, leave the creature in it's home
But I don't understand

If I find a delicate thing
I wonder how it would look split at the seams
Girls talk, say "it's beautiful"
I gotta poke it to know it, I gotta LIGHT IT ON FIRE AND...

Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroeeeee...ahhh...(cough cough)...ahem!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Letter from Nathan

Hi Ryan,

I thought this might be of interest to you and Superman fans around theLeague.

When I found out earlier this year that the "Richard Donner Cut" of Superman II would be coming out in the fall, I began to wonder if all the product placements would still be in the film. After all, wasn't some 75%of the footage for Supes II already in the can when the Salkinds wrested the film away from Donner? And then wasn't it re-shot? The memo on this page seems to indicate that as late as 1979, new footage was being shot for product placements (and more action). The document is from Marlboro, who received an amazing 20 mentions in the film. A far cry from "You know, you really shouldn't smoke, Lois."

http://tobaccodocuments.org/youth/AmCgPMI19791018.Lt.html

I'm thinking the Donner cut will have fewer product placements. By the way, the current "Superman Returns" also reminded me of this whole thing when Superman drank himself a tall cool Budweiser with Jimmy Olsen. And then went flying to save that airplane! (editor's note: in Superman Returns) Not a good message.

--Nathan

We all saw Superman III, and we're just glad Superman didn't manage to get his "mean drunk" on. Although I remember, as a kid, almost jumping out of my seat when Clark kicked Red-K Superman's @ss. I need to review again, but did Superman hook up with the blonde in Superman III? I kind of think he might have...
FUN FUN FUN

I was re-reading some recent postings and it's nothing but a litany of the drudgery of moving. Bleh. I said from the outset that it would be some heavy lifting, but I didn't mean for it to come back to Loyal Leaguers as a dull recitation of our status.

So what's fun?

"Talladega Nights" turned out to be really funny. I usually want to hit people with a frying pan when I hear that they aren't going to the movies for any reason other than to be passively entertained. I do not accept that you should "turn off your brain" when you sit down in a movie theater. Usually that's the last, gasping excuse someone uses when you start to tear apart a movie for being woefully inconsistent and insulting to the viewer's intelligence. I don't think "Talladega Nights" is the Citizen Kane of NASCAR comedies (that title now and forever belongs to "Six Pack", starring Kenny Rogers). But Talladega Nights does well what so many Apatow/ Ferrell movies have done over the past few years: it manages to make jokes that work terrifically well as part of a very silly universe just next door to our own. The story isn't anything we haven't seen before, but it also isn't just a lame excuse to foist a character upon us and then let the character appear in set pieces (just think virtually any SNL skit-to-movie translation). In short, the movie has it's own internal logic and character arcs that are all tied up neatly in order to ensure that everything else can hang on the internal structure.

I'm overthinking this. Anyway, the movie is funny. Go see it. Everyone in it is hilarious. For some reason they cut Michael Clarke Duncan's funniest part and put it back in during the closing credits. You still get to see it, so I guess that's okay. I'm a fan of the "Smokey and the Bandit" insert of outtakes for comedies.


Rumors are swirling for a Superman Returns Sequel. I'm also eagerly awaiting the final announcement from Warner Hoem Video regarding what DVD's we can expect for the Fall. There's a new boxed set of the Reeve movies with a lot of additional material set to be released, the Donner version of Superman II (the Zod movie), and, of course, whatever they decide to do with Superman Returns. There was supposed to be a 14-disc collector's edition of Superman Returns, plus the Reeve movies, but I have no idea if that will happen now or not. I'm seeing a lot of conflicting reports.


Yes, I will be going to see Hollywoodland.


I am now obsessed with the idea that I chose NOT to pick up New Gods #1 at Austin Books. Argg... and I also thought I had Mister Miracle Vol. 3, Issue #7.... but I don't. So now I need to get that issue to truly complete my Mister Miracle collection. Then I shall feel free to move on to New Gods, Forever People and Jack Kirby's Fourth World.


The item I still dream about, my personal Holy Grail? Action Comics #252.

Also, DC Presents #87.

I found the Action Comics with the debut of the Supermobile over the weekend. As a kid I had a toy of the Supermobile. I think it's in my parents' attic with my Matchbox cars. I've been meaning to retrieve it for years, but it was too darn hot in Houston when we were home last time, and there were too many boxes of Christmas decorations between me and the toys.


I saw over at CBG's blog that JAL and CBG have somehow found one another once again, and I like to blame LoM for the happy reunion. JAL, CBG, Michael and The League were all once co-contributors to media projects in the glory days at UT-RTF, and also, once upon a time, watched "The Price is Right" together between classes. Truly, it was CBG and JAL who got me onboard with PiR as the ultimate gameshow. I used to be a "Sale of the Century" and "Jeopardy" kind of guy, but now I'll take Plinko any day.

Oh, and CBG... Hope you're feeling better. Very sorry to hear about your incident.


Oh, and before I close up... "Who Wants to be a Superhero?" is shaping up to be a really unique gameshow. Even by the third episode, some of the contestants haven't quite clued in to what's going on. Backstabbing and the usual machiavellian tactics for winning reality shows aren't going to work here. Superheroes don't operate that way. Nor do they swear revenge, Fat Momma. And poor, poor Monkey Woman. Exposed as a fraud!

The producers have an excellent understanding of the unwritten code of superheroics, and the traits akin to true superheroes that joe-average on the street doesn't usually contemplate. The twists and turns of the comics creep their way into the story in a well-timed manner... right down to me asking out loud "How long before we see Ty'Veculus again?" Sure, he learned the value of honesty, but he failed to get the idea that self-sacrifice doesn't just apply to civilians.

Anyhow, I hope the show has a long life ahead of itself. The League can admit when it's wrong...

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I was sort of complaining that Tarzan the Ape Man with Johnny Weismuller was boring, but now he's wrestling with a lion. Maybe the photography is awesome, but it looks like Weismuller really went toe-to-toe with a lion. How do you get the insurance company to cover that?

"Uh, yeah... and on page 46, Tarzan fights a lion."
"...a stunt man fights a lion?"
"No. Well, ha ha... See, we want to do it pretty close-up, and he ain't wearing nothing, so we can't fake it... So, yeah. This guy we got to play Tarzan, he said he WANTED to fight the lion."
"Sounds like one hell of a picture! Glad you guys are casting this athlete guy and not some name actor. Just shoot the lion fight first."

After watching for a while, I think I need a chimpanzee for a pal. But like Tarzan, not Michael Jackson.

We spent the weekend with Jason. It was a working weekend, so... sorry to all of you Leaguers in Austin I didn't get to catch up with. All in due time.

It feels good to be back in Austin. I was honestly concerned I'd lost the map of the city I had in my head, but a few minutes on the road, and it was back. Businesses might switch out, but most of the landmarks remain. A lot of faces are new, but the crowds are still familiar, the food and music and the feel of the city are fairly much the same. In time, I know the four years in Chandler will melt away into one of those things you bring up at dinner parties or when somebody else mentions it.

Austin continues to fight for it's Austin-ness. Occasionally the "Keep Austin Weird" movement can feel a bit too much like a marketing slogan, and sometimes you sort of want to throttle some of the folks revelling in their weirdness at the expense of everyone around them. But after four years in the land of cookie cutter homes and haircuts, I appreciate the sentiment more than a little. The citizens want a say in how their city grows and changes, and not to necessarily just give in to the whims of every developer who can scrape together enough coin to put down a strip mall. The city may not meet everyone's definition of beauty, but I've seen what happens when a whole city decides to be "tasteful".

As Jamie and I return, we can't expect Austin to make our fun for us, but it's nice to sit down with the Chronicle and see literally dozens of options on any given night and hundreds of options for activities per week, college football, and all the stuff that isn't listed. And that's not including the fun you make for yourself with friends, a grill and all that jazz.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Report out of Austin

Well, we looked at houses with the woman formerly known as Duda. It's been actually a pretty good bit of fun, and I suggest that if you want to find a way to spend your weekends, find a realtor and go through other people's houses.

I can honestly say, every comment we got back regarding other people's houses sort of makes sense now. I didn't mind other people's stuff being in the house. What was odd was that some people didn't appear to have actually cleaned their house, and one house just had a sort of "crime-scene" vibe. It didn't take a lot of imagination to think some bad hoo-doo had gone down.

We found three houses I could move into tomorrow. That's good news, to me. The down side is that we haven't sold our hourse in Chandler, so all this looking is a crap shoot. A lot of things have to fall into place for us to get one of the three favored homes.

We finihes after 2:00 today, so I hit Austin Books. Jim asked for a report-out, but, honestly... it was mostly me digging through long boxes and trying not to wear Jamie's patience too thin. Jamie has sort of found her own niche of comics, so that was okay. She's fine to look on her own and doesn't get too bored.

But here's the deal with Austin Books... I could walk around all day in that store. And with a few hundred bucks to keep me going, I could probably be a happy man.

Here's a big confession I made to Jamie: I now have every issue of all three volumes of Mister Miracle. Hooray, Austin Books! Together, we finally finished my collection. Now to move on to New Gods, Forever People and all the Simonson stuff I don't have yet.

Also, I found some Superman back-issues to pick up, some issues my comic shop apparently just never ordered in, and the Public Enemy comic. Yes, PE put out a comic. It is morbid curiosity which drives me forward.

As much as I enjoy my weekly jaunt to my LCS (local comic shop for you non-comic types), Austin Books is just ten times more awesome. They treat comics as an artform, not as tawdry collectibles, and the organization of the store is testament to their intent. All the indie stuff is near the entrance, prominently displayed. Creators get their own organization, with guys like Kirby, Jack Cole and Gil Kane getting their own sections right beside guys like Mark Millar.

Back issues are easy to get to, easy to rifle through and the store often has multiple copies in many different forms of condition (I found one copy of an issue of Superman where the villain had been clipped right out of the cover). All the usual other stuff is well displayed, from toys to statues to T-shirts.

Dizzam. One nice shop.

I need to go back and buy that New Gods #1.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

GET THE @#$% OUT OF DODGE (FOR THE WEEKEND)

Wednesday evening Jamie and I will be touching down at Austin-Bergstrom Airport. We'll be spending some time with the woman formerly known as Duda as we scout for homes in the greater S. Austin area.

If you are in Austin and have time, League of Melbotis may also have time, and maybe we can meet up at Gatti's or something. I know I officially owe Peabo and Adriana dinner, and definitely owe Jeff Shoemaker a visit. We also need to pop in to see Meredith "The Destroyer" Shaw and maybe grab a bite with her parents. I also feel bad as I have as of yet to meet The Man Named Harms, who also recently re-relocated to Waterloo. Not to mention seeing the recently engaged Lala, and maybe finally meet her mystery beau.

I'd feel more pressure to squeeze in more fun, but we do plan to live in Austin within the next two months, if all goes well. So, you know, if you're feeling like we're ignoring you, just imagine all the fun we'll have each and every day once LoM relocates. Our doors are always open, except when they're not.

The realtor came by this evening. She's going to run open houses while we're gone. Just Pat the Realtor and Jeff the Cat, hanging on Hawken Way. I sort of wonder how many neighbors will wander through just to see what we've been up to for the past four years.

Both the job hunt and house-selling bit are going slowly. Part of me is hoping to land in Austin with some free time, but the dollars and cents part knows a job now is better than a job later.

Speaking of, Sunday marked my 4th anniversary in my current job. While the job is okay, I do not see how people make a career in a single job. I definitely am feeling the itch to move on. Perhaps I shall become a soldier of fortune. Or an NFL linesman. Or a Weinermobile Driver. Or some combination of all three.

I need to find time, while in Austin, to hit Austin Books. It's been too long. And I am sure they have a kick-ass selection of Superman, Action Comics and DC Presents back-issues (but can any top the DC Presents: Superman & Santa Claus team-up book Jim D. sent me?).

Also, looking for Kirby's Fourth World stuff. I have reprints of some of the original 4th World, but it's in black and white. I'm looking for original issues. Not just of Kirby's original runs, but the later series as well by Simonson and Co. Still, nobody writes Fourth World like Kirby. Especially the dialogue.

Anyhow, this is pretty much it from me until Sunday night, I'd guess. Have yourselves a good few days, Leaguers. We'll be back next week.

The League promotes a few shows...

Okay, if you have Sci-Fi, Channel, the League once again suggests "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace" running Sunday nights on Sci-Fi. And, once again, if I try to explain it, I'm just doing the show a disservice on many, many levels.

And "Who Wants to be a Superhero?" on Sci-Fi is actually a good show. All of my fanboy worries are wiped away. Stan still really knows what it is to be a superhero, and it's interesting to see the contestants facing challenges, both physical and of character. It's not all about putting on a costume and acting like a lunatic, Leaguers. The rules of polite society (and not so polite society) sort of go out the window when you're hanging with the cape and cowl set.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Ok, Steans Family. So my 4th of July "Mentos + Diet Coke Display of Patriotism" was less than a roaring success.

Here's what we're trying next time.

Dry Ice Bomb.

Ka-POWWWWWW!!!!


Roy's Taxi - RIP

read here

When I was but a wee League living in the suburbs of Austin, one of my earliest impressions of town was Roy's Taxi service's fleet of red and (aqua? turqouise? What's that color?) taxis which could be seen all over the place.

The first time I moved away from Austin, KareBare was a sport and took Steanso, the League and a few others to see "Slacker" at the River Oaks theater. The movie, of course, opens with Richard Linklater getting a ride in one of Roy's taxis and getting all metaphysical on the driver about his choice to take a taxi and how that would effect him for the rest of his days.

There are always local establishments which are truly part of a city, and Roy's Taxi was certainly one of the least appreciated of those establishments. After all, you had to be going somewhere without your own transportation in order to call upon Roy's. I can honestly say I think I called a cab a total of three times in 16 years in Austin, and that was never going to be enough to keep those red and tuquoise cars in service. But I always called Roy's.

So long, Roy's. Austin's streets will be a little poorer without your services.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Not much to report.

We went to see "Talladega Nights" and walked out before the movie had even started. I've gone on at length about Gilbert, AZ movie audiences, so I shall elaborate only in bullet form.

-crying baby, no older than 6 months
-mom of crying baby sitting in center of theater, conveniently placed so she can't escape, constantly bouncing baby with synchronously timed "SHHH, SHHH, SHHH!!!" to weeping infant
-teenagers arrive during trailers, and despite row of empty seats in front of us, sit beside me and begin talking
-teenagers arrive just as movie begins, and despite row of empty seats in front of us, sit beside Jamie and begin full blown conversation

Anyway, we left.

Movies are quiet time. Even silly NASCAR movies. Silencio!

Perhaps that is what I should have done years ago. I should have become the masked crusader of the Gilbert WTC. Dressing in a Zorro-like outfit, I could have walked to the front of the theater at the beginning of each movie, address the audience with my concerns regarding their noise making and text-messaging. Politely informed, it would then be their responsibility to adhere to the rules of basic etiquette. Should the rules be broken, they would then be adequately prepared to face the wrath of Silencio the Vengeful.

I'm not sure what would have embodied the wrath of Silencio, but I'm fairly sure it would involve a handful of roofing nails and a string of profanities.



The fortress is de-fortressed. I am sad. I have no idea what my next house may be like. I do not know if there will be another fortress like it again. Jamie is promising me I will have a fortress once again, but I know how these things go. We're not going to find the right kind of house, or the house we do find will have some sort of lay-out where I can't really pull off the fortress once again with quite the same panache.

It was a beautiful dream.

Jamie is very understanding, and she DOES want for me to have my space. But the problem sort of becomes the insistence on the ghetto-ization of that space. I may once again get a back room, but I want a functional room. I want room to move around and do things in my fortress. The fortress of Arizona was always too small and cramped. It had bad airflow. There was not room to just sit and relax. In fact, the only seating I ever had was the stool I had at my drawing table. Consequently, each time I sat in the fortress to read, it was on the floor, where I'd soon be joined by dogs and cats and the wife. And it all felt a little stupid, us all sitting on the floor....

I want square footage. Space for my drawing table, somewhere to sit to read or watch the tube, and maybe some space for organizing comics. Is that crazy? Is that completely insane? We'll see.

We're headed to Austin for a house hunt this weekend. Keep your ear to the ground.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Saturday Night

Just proving that either old age is setting in, or that the Arizona sun has finally melted my brain... I've come to enjoy baseball.

Originally I watched the sport to humor the in-laws and because I like hot dogs. And I'm lazy and like sitting still for hours on end. Then I sort of got into the whole Americanness and nostalgia factor. Baseball is a common thread from generation to generation, it's been there across three centuries, and is simple proof that people really like to watch people in funny pants while they enjoy a beer and peanuts. Then I kind of started digging the idea of The Cubs. The League loves an underdog, and if you want to find a perennial underdog... hey, why not the Cubbies?

Baseball is also on TV 24 hours a day for six months of the year. So it's accessible. And each team plays like 800 games a season. And it's mind-blurringly slow, so you can turn on a game and sort of wander in and out of the room and do other stuff while the game is on. Initially I couldn't get past the fact that it's not the rapid-fire style of play like basketball where you can see change on a half-second by half-second basis. I've slowly come to appreciate the flow of the game, the challenge of each pitch and the face off between each pitcher and batter. Also, I like the Taco Bell taco race in the 5th inning.

We've been to a few games this season. Tickets are $10 a seat, so how can you go wrong?

Anyway, this evening we saw the Astros beat the tar out of the D-Backs. I can now say I've seen Roger Clemens pitch, and I've seen my first grand slam. Good game. For Astros fans.



Our process for evacuation is slow going. But ongoing.

We've had a lot of people walk through the house. It's sort of depressing as realtors and people walk through the house and you never hear anything afterward other than "your house is too cluttered." Well, we're working on that.

The Fortress of Nerditude is slowly being disassembled. I've packed all my graphic novels and toys away. Most of the pictures have been pulled down. So now it's mostly empty shelf space and a half-assed blue paint job. I have no doubt we'll continue to get those same comments. Apparently humans and realtors alike fear blue walls. I haven't quite yet decided that I need to paint the walls yet. I'm willing to wheel and deal. I'll negotiate. But I also don't want to paint walls if the people plan to paint them a different color later, anyway.

It's all very irritating. Who wants people who you don't even know walking through your house and thinking you're insane? Because you have blue walls.

Anyway, the realtor today called and said "we'll be there between 11 and 12". And then showed up at 2:30 when I was talking to a new potential landscaper in the front yard. After the realtors are an hour late, you sort of give up on them. But, if you want to sell your house, you have to act like a trained monkey every time they want you to hop.

No, I am not enjoying this process. I had always dreamed of just going ahead and buying a house in Austin, moving into it, and THEN putting the house up for sale. You could then actually clean the house and it would stay clean. You wouldn't have to worry about buyers having no sense of spatial relationships as they "can't imagine their furniture in your house." And you're sort of standing there wondering how anybody ever @#$%ing sold a house before when that's what everybody says.

It's a couple of rooms and a toilet. Try to use your imagination.

Must be patient. Must. Be. Patient.

Anyway, I'm going to bed.

Goodnight, Leaguers.

Friday, August 04, 2006

LEAGUER ROUNDTABLE ARGUMENT

Okay, here's a topic of conversation...

Are bloggers reporters or public citizens? or something else entirely new?

Consider the case in Connecticut.

Are Lieberman's people morons? Or are the other guy's handlers a bunch of liars?

Should The League be forbidden from donating money (ethically) to campaigns for my favorite candidates because I have some cheap webspace and an opinion?

Do you believe that there is a secret handshake deal between bloggers and politicians? How is that different from political radio hosts like Al Franken and Rush Limbaugh?

Give me feedback, Leaguers. The Rev. Al Sharpton's 2008 campaign needs my $3.00, but I am afraid to send it if that is somehow unethical.
Quick Items

I know there's like three things up from tonight, but...

1) Here's the first trailer I've seen for the upcoming film "Hollywoodland". The film is about the mysterious death of "Adventures of Superman" actor George Reeves.

here

Thanks to Nathan for the link!


2) Austin-based pal JAL has joined in the Alamo Drafthouse's competition. In the spirit of "Snakes on a Plane", the idea is to make a short film which also joins animals with a mode of trasportation in the title. Dig around for JAL's "Kangaroo on a Segway".

There's uhmmm... some non G-Rated words in this video. But go watch it anyway.

Alamo Drafthouse compettiton page here.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

JAMIE'S GREAT LIP GLOSS TASTE TEST!!!

The other night Jamie and I were walking through the Walgreens, and there, upon the rack, were many a flavor of new lipglosses. All of the flavors were crafter from some recognizable artifical flavoring.

Well, The League isn't above sampling some lip gloss, but Jamie got all crazy, the same way she does when she's had a bowl of Sugar Smacks.

The Flavors:

Berry Skittles, Dr. Pepper, Grape Crush, Skittles



the flavors, all lined up

Now you have to forgive me... usually Jamie takes the photos. This time I took the photos and the quality kind of sucks.



Jeff checks out the lip gloss... and starts licking the counter. Nice.

Stupid cat.



Jamie is a bit skeptical of the liquid, brush applied, Skittles-flavored lip gloss.



Jamie takes a sniff...



Hmmm.... the skepticism continues...



application...



Not so good... A little blechy. Maybe wiping artifical Skittles flavoring on your lips isn't the best idea.



Berry, Berry Skittles!



Berry, berry gross...



eeeuugghhhh....



Jamie sad. No more Berry, Berry Skittles.



Grape Crush, eh...?


grapey...



Sold! Like rubbing Grape Crush all over your lips.


Ooooohhhh... Dr. Pepper! The McBride ladies love them some Dr. Pepper. How can some lip gloss stack up?



Mmmmm..?


Dr. Pepper! MUST DRINK!!!! MUST.... DRINK...



No... must apply...



APPLY!!!


APPLY!!! MUST HAVE DR. PEPPER!!!


THE WINNAH!!!!

Jamie loves her some Dr. Pepper! Whooo-HOOO!!!



Somewhere between drinky and glossy, there is Dr. Pepper lip gloss...


There you have it, Leaguers! Jamie's exciting foray into the world of branded, flavored lip gloss. I liked Grape Crush best.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Sorry, team. I had a mind-blowing post planned, but I am very tired. Busy day and I have comics to read.

Jason, Creeper #1 just hit the stands. You might want to seek this one out.
From AICN...

Apparently Tim Burton had planned a Batman musical based on his movie.

Here's a song from the scrubbed project...


And here's an article on the Appalachian State video...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

It's rare that The League is embarrassed for an entire university...



***update***

Apparently Joey Fatone (of N'Sync) and I have more in common than I thought.

Jump about 1:25 into this video.



I'm a little jealous.
random comments - July

Monday, July 31, 2006

Pop Culture Hoo-Hah

So, Heath Ledger is the new Joker in the upcoming Batman film, "The Dark Knight".

Okay. I don't find Heath Ledger to be an inspired choice.... but I do think he'll be good. When you have Crispin Glover out there, how can you not cast the man?

Well, congrats to Heath. I hope he makes a big bag of money.

There are rumors afloat about DA Harvey Dent appearing in the movie, and maybe Oswald Cobblepot. Could be a lot of fun. I look forward to seeing if they re-engineer the Batmobile.


So... Mel Gibson. Well done.


There's a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie coming. It's entirely CG. I dunno... how many fights with the Shredder am I willing to pay to see? I guess what's great for Mirage Studios and creepy for me is that TMNT has officially become a generational thing. In theory, The League could have kids now, and I would probably take those kids to see TMNT in the theater, just as Peabo and I once went to see TMNT in the theater. Shut up. You saw it, too. I wonder what my TMNT comics are worth? Probably nothing.


San Diego based Comic-Con International has once again come and gone, and once again, The League was not in attendance. One day I will go. Jamie said even she wants to go, but I am uncertain as to why... and I'll be honest: it would probably good for her to be there so I don't go crazy and buy an entire run of "DC Presents" or "Superman Family" or something.

I think it's kind of neat/sad that people dress up to go to Conventions. I'm always astounded at the photos of folks in fairly expensive recreations of some of their favorite heroes' costumes. Now, I can't imagine myself actually putting in the effort to show up dressed anywhere as, say, Red Tornado. Nor can I imagine getting from the hotel to the convention center without feeling like a total heel, but somehow these folks do it.

I am both curious and horrified by the idea of an open Q&A with comic creators. I know what sort of dweebs populate the shop I hit weekly (me, chief among them), so the endless line of awkward, uncomfortable questioning might be too much for me to bear.


Today, supposedly, marks the 25th anniversary of MTV. That's 25 years of MTV slowly lowering the bar on the music industry while simultaneously increasing every 13-year-olds' sense of entitlement. I do not want, nor watch, any MTV. I am not in their demographic, and really haven't been since I was 20, so I doubt they're losing much sleep over my choice to flip past their programming.

My favorite aspect of MTV is that every two years they promise that either MTV or MTV2 will be getting back to basics and begin showing videos in regular rotation once again. This lasts about two weeks, and then they're back to 12-year old re-runs of Beavis and Butthead when they realize that nobody has the patience to sit and watch a 3 minute video.

I miss the VJ/ video format. The bad hair. The skin-tight pants and the knowledge that THIS video might suck, but they're showing "Thriller" at the half-hour mark. For reasons better left to being dwelt upon by marketing executives, I associate Billy Idol with my early MTV experience. Yes, yes... Michael Jackson, too... but I loved Billy Idol's White Wedding video and the whole slew of videos that came out in that era.


My local theater believes I am 16, and apparently, so does Motorola. My local theater likes to play lots of commercials prior to the previews. Hip, edgy previews with young, sexy people in an urban setting at night just enjoying their ring-tones like all heck. I've not spent any time in NYC, but do young New Yorkers really stand on the street in nice clothes dancing around to their ring tones? Is that really what life in the Big Apple has been reduced to?

Nor do I understand the "ring back tone". Why would I want to listen to 10 seconds of some song while I'm waiting for you? Sometimes just because you can doesn't mean you should.

I am also confused by the commercials for the Scion line of automobiles. The commercials promise an endless bit of customization, but the web-site doesn't actually seem to offer up that anything but the blue and gray Scions you see driving around.

I'm more or less over the advertising at the theaters. It's inevitable and I can't vote with my feet when all of the theaters show ads. But what I do think is that advertisers need to think about two things as they make the transition from TV to theaters:

1) It's one thing when your TV is flickering at you with a cut every 1/3rd second. When the 40 foot light source in front of you is flickering like a strobe, that's a migraine waiting to happen. Some things don't work as well on the big screen.

2) Either make ads your entire range of audience can actually watch or don't bother. I have never seen a more confused audience than the crowd of senior citizens in attendance at "A Prairie Home Companion" when the recent Sprite (or is it 7-Up?) ads ran, with sumos and volkswagens crashing into one another, tiny lemon and lime sprites flitting about and a man with mouths for eyes. All in about 45 seconds.

Yes. Hip. Edgy. And terrifying to the sweet old ladies sitting next to me.


Nor do I feel comfortable seeing ads for "Bod" body spray (which promises no end to the number of the ladies offering you their services, should you use their spray) in the minutes ticking down to the opening of a Harry Potter movie while surrounded by excited little moppets.

At least TV knows who I am and advertises accordingly. Sometimes.
POLL POSITION


You know, you can always click on images to expand them to full size

1 in 3 Loyal Leaguers polled have it in for Star Jones. Understandable as the woman may be of less entertainment value while somehow still managing to fill the airwaves 24/7 than any other human being alive. In fact, we dislike Star more than insurgents, who are only 1/5th the menace of Star Jones.

1 in 5 Leaguers is frustrated with the Astros. What happened to the 'Stros? So mighty last year. This year, a decent team with play-off hopes, but where's the magic? Where's the pizzaz? They need to go back to the orange jerseys. Too much Minute Maid, not enough batting practice.

Ford has bought and commoditized Taylor Hicks before we even had a chance to get sick of what was surely to be an underwhelming, treacly romp through rough-throated pop disappointment. Possibilities? I possibly have already gotten annoyed with the man before he's sold a single record. 2 of you feel the same way.

The one mad scientist in the audience needs to look into some duct tape for his/her cracked foam. Keep reaching for the stars!

Somehow both little dictator Kim Jung Il and perky little TV personality Katie Couric escape unscathed. How does this happen? These people are the two greatest threats to national security. Someone please remind me of when Katie Couric ever worked in news. No. Not a morning show... News. And don't worry Kim Jung Il, lots of guys experience that problem.

And good 'ol Heat Rash makes an appearance. Well done, heat rash! Always a favorite with those experiencing some uncomfortable chafing.

Now, ya'll get to voting in the new poll.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and more weekend hi-jinks

Leaguer Michael recently saw POTC2. This was his review in its entirety:

The director had a vision. Roll things in the jungle. Roll them and roll them hard.

The end.


Michael's review is concise and accurate.

When I go to Chipotle, I like to get me a nice burrito. I know even their enormous tortillas can only hold so much volume and mass, but I like to see if I can push it. In my burritos I like chicken and black beans, some cheese and some pico and some rice. Rice is good. But I do not want a burrito completely overflowing with rice just so I can have a properly overstuffed tortilla.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

POTC2 was a lot of rice. Sure, tasty, zippy rice with barnacles, but I kept biting into it wondering why there wasn't enough chicken. And then there was this salsa I wasn't expecting, and it sort of came out of nowhere and seemed kind of pointless.

Now, my burrito analogy only holds up so far, because as you may know if you dine at Chipotle, the burrito is all you really need. So maybe I should have compared the movie to a two-taco lunch. Only that's not really accurate, because the other taco doesn't come out a year from now, and I'm not irritated that my movie/taco will be delayed.

anyway, I guess I give the movie a solid 6.3333 out of 10.

We waited and waited all morning for some realtor to show up. She did not. I have no idea what happened. She had also called us at 9:00 last night to let us know she was coming, so I sort of thought it was an emergency... like these people REALLY wanted to see the house.

The people who were supposed to come between 3:00 and 4:00 came squarely at 3:15. Goody for them. We put the dogs in the car and took them to Petsmart. Lucy picked out a stuffed ring-necked pheasant (state bird of S. Dakota).

I also watched the iTunes-available ($1.99) pilot for Aquaman, done by the same guys who are doing Smallville. They had planned to run it in the fall, call it something like "Mercy Reef" and... I dunno.

I want to know who at the WB decided their trademark would be to put out shows with beautiful people who aren't terribly talented. It just seemed like a missing episode of "Smallville", which, despite my love of all things Super, I gave up on last season. I just had such a "been there, done that" feeling while watching the show. I said to Jamie that I thought that was why the new UPN/WB network had passed on the show, and Jamie, who is wise, said "Are you kidding me? Since when has WB been afraid for everything on their network to look exactly the same? And isn't Smallville their biggest show?"

So, yeah, I have no idea why they didn't pick up Aquaman (or Aqualad, I guess, as he's not yet Aquaman). I just know I was not going to ever watch that show.

I am off to see if I can amuse Melbotis. He is sulky and sleepy.
Once upon a time I was a huge fan of both Space Ghost Coast to Coast and Cartoon Planet.

One could learn a lot from these programs, but one of the most important lessons I ever learned was about that thing that makes the world go 'round. No, not centripetal force. Love.


Brak!

Brak is sort of a space-pirate lion headed thing in a mask. Anyway, he was a regular member of the cast of Cartoon Planet. And his mysterious words were often filled with wisdom.

Brak's Definition of Love

You know, love is a happy time all throughout the universe.
It's when the male part of the species goes to the female part of the species and says: "Hey, do you want to go on a date?" And then she would say: "Why yes, I'd like to go on a date!" -if you're LUCKY!-
And then you go to a restaurant, and she gets something called "a salad." And then he gets a big piece of beef, that he eats.
And that to me ladies and gentlemen, is LOVE.
Kinda makes you cry, doesn't it?


I first heard this definition the year Jamie and I started dating. All I'm saying is: six years of marriage and no police reports yet! Pretty good, Eh? Eh?

I shared this definition with my parents lot too long ago, and they seemed to agree that it sounded pretty accurate, and those guys have been married, like, forever. So take that as you will, but I sort of think Brak speaks a bit of truth.

So for all you single folks out there fretting over how complicated this romance business can be, just try to keep Brak's words of wisdom and encouragement in mind.
SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALL RIGHT FOR BLOGGING

Well, Leaguers, we had ourselves a less than stellar Friday night and Saturday. As some of you may recall Jamie was having some trouble with migraines. Well, she's been on a pretty good preventative. Some might say... too good. She and her neurologist agreed that the preventative had been working (more or less) for so long, they couldn't be sure if the preventative was actually helping or if she wasn't having trouble anymore. So, they decided she should cut back on her preventative to see what was going on.

Long story short, we spent last night at the lovely new hospital about three miles from the house in their all-new emergency room. And, man, it was actually a pretty nice set-up. If you could ignore their "Nurse Call" alarm that sounded more than a little bit like a Disney Princess toy. Over. And over. And over.

Quote of the evening? By a young woman (who was wearing nothing but a bra for some reason) to her nurse: "The doctor said I had an er- er- ruptured ovarian cyst. I didn't even know I HAD an ovarian cyst!"

This somehow beats:
"Were you punched in the throat?"
"I dunno. I think I got hit like a thousand times! Huh huh huh huh huh!"
I have no idea what happened, but I saw the guy, and SOMEBODY beat the tar out of him. He was still managing to keep it sunny side up despite the black eye and whatnot. Good for him.

I've always been confused as to why more hospitals aren't networked or don't maintain a database of patient info at their fingertips. We may have gotten into the ER at 7:30, but Jamie was admitted much later. Well, Leaguers, there's nothing like trying to help a nurse input literally pages of fields when a nurse is a "hunt and peck" typist. Not to mention when the programmers insisted on a hard-coded list of options rather than allowing for blank fields in some key locations. Especially at 2:00 AM. Especially when the nurse is insisting she can't do anything until all the data is loaded. And then the lab tech accidentally fires a vial of Jamie's blood into the air and suddenly there's little drops of Jamie everywhere, inclduing the tech's otherwise sparkling white outfit.

Good times.

Most hospital cafeterias sell some incredibly unhealthy options for both their staff and for patient's families. Cheeseburgers, chicken fingers, etc... Not so at this place. Probably because the budget for this brand-spankin' new (albeit completely empty) cafeteria is much higher than is required to feed the handful of patients and staff actually in the hospital, it appears the cafeteria staff are going all Colonel Kurtz and fancy themselves gourmets. I had a lovely lunch of salmon with a mushroom-butter spread, whipped potatos with a hint of bacon, and fresh steamed asparagus. This meal would have run me $17 at minimum most places. At the hospital it ran me $7.00, with a large drink.

Anyhow, Jamie is doing fine (aside from some oddly high levels of potassium) and she's home again after being admitted over night and through most of the day. At least this hospital provides a half-way decent bed option for folks who want to spend the night. Just no pillows or blankets. Those you must steal from the elderly patients who cannot defend themselves.


In non-hospital related news, the house showed twice today. Which meant I also managed to get locked out. It's a long story, but it involves me, my house key being inside the house and an overzealous realtor. I was waiting to hear back from our realtor, Pat, whom I was hoping would be able to let me in with the key from our lockbox and in order to kill some time I went and wandered around some stores.

I found a little kid's Batman digital camera on sale for $19. It can fit neatly in your pocket, has built in memory, is compatible with decent memory cards, can shoot video and came with photo editing software and video recording software. $19. Some kid in a sweatshop in Thailand just made me a real bargain.


Lucy would like to steal your soul now, please!