Dudes in the Media Jamie Once Dug

Never let it be said that The League is not one to let the scales of fairness tip back into balance. If I can get an opportunity to pontificate upon dames in the media I once dug, should Jamie not receive the same opportunity?

Jamie's turned on the Way-Back Machine and identified several specimens whom she once dug.


Hi everyone - Jamie here. Steanso mentioned in the comments section recently that he was interested in finding out who were the Dudes the in media Mrs. League once Dug. This is not a complete list and I honestly had a hard time remembering who I fancied back in the day, but I gave it a shot. Here goes.



1. Bruce Willis - Moonlighting


Bruce Willis' finest role in my opinion will always be David Addison in Moonlighting. Moonlighting was my favorite show when I was 12. That is of course before they ruined it with a baby, but that is neither here nor there in regards to this list. I hadn't seen anything like it before - they did theme episodes, story arcs, and would randomly break the 4th wall and talk to the camera. I think David Addison was my first real media crush. He was cute, hilarious, and a total smart ass. At the age of 12 all of these things added up to the ideal imaginary boyfriend.


Pre-Hudson Hawk.

2. George Michael

So what if he plays for the other team. We didn't know that back then and even if we had so what. Boy did we love the Faith video, though, right up until Dana Carvey ruined it for me on SNL.


Butt maintenance is very important.


3. Greg Louganis (this counts, right? - the Olympics were on the TeeVee)

I know he's more of a sports figure and again - plays for the other team, but boy did we think he was super-fine when we were watching the 88 Olympics! Does anyone else remember when he smacked his head on the diving board on one of his dives? For some reason I remembered this as having been way more dramatic than it actually was. In my memory, he was on one of the high platforms and was knocked unconscious and had a concussion and it was oh so thrilling. When I watched it on YouTube just now? It was a springboard and he climbed out of the pool himself. Not so impressive.


FAIL

4. Kyle MacLaughlin in Twin Peaks

"Damn fine coffee. And hot!" Indeed, Special Agent, Dale Cooper. Kyle MacLaughlin had to deal with some crazy crap in Twin Peaks and he did it all while maintaining his perfectly coifed 'do. I was in high school during Twin Peaks entire run and never missed an episode, even if I had to tape it on my prehistoric Video Casette Recorder. The show was fantastic (1st season), and it was a bonus that Kyle and his jawline were in every episode.


Diane, never drink coffee that has been anywhere near a fish.


5. Rob Morrow on Northern Exposure

I'm a bit embarassed about this one, but if we're being honest, yes, I had a crush on Rob Morrow. Don't know if I just bought the whole cute fish out of water scenario more than I should have, but I thought his bundled up New York doctor stranded in Cicely, Alaska was adorable. There, I said it.


I will be cute for approximately 14 more months.

6. Blur

I already mentioned the rockin British foursome in the comment section, but they played such a large part of my college music collection that I felt they deserved a second mention. In the mid 90s I believe there was some sort of rock- n-roll feuding going on between these gents and Oasis (albeit rather half-hearted on Blur's part). So silly. In addition to being dreamy, they made groovy tunes, and should you be interested I can recommend some albums. They are way better than their radio hit "Song 2" would lead you to believe.


Pleased to meet you


7. David Duchovny on X-Files

"They call me Spooky". League viewing of the X-Files was not fueled solely by the League's fascination with Gillian Anderson. Duchovny had his own following among nerdy ladies such as myself. I tried to continue watching X-Files upon Duchovny's departure, but it was never the same without 'Spooky's' deadpan delivery.


When I panic, I make this face.

8. Ralph Fiennes in Quiz Show

Curiously the same movie which buried for good my silly high school Rob Morrow crush, Quiz Show reintroduced me to one of the best actors of his time, Ralph Fiennes. Yeah... that's what I took away from the movie - his acting...really... Okay, have you SEEN Ralph Fiennes in Quiz Show? He smiles a lot. Sigh.


More personable here than in Schindler's List.

9. Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge

I already knew Ewan McGregor was a looker pre-Moulin Rouge, but then he wore a tuxedo and sang to me. Shhhh!!! He wasn't singing to Nicole Kidman, he was singing to me! Swoon.


Pretty.

10. Hobbits - Lord of the Rings movies

What? Shut up!! Hey, at least I didn't say Orlando Bloom. Who looks like a girl.


4-Pack of cute Hobbits.

Well, that's it for Jamie's post. And, hey, it keeps me from having to do any real work for a Sunday night post.

Hope you enjoyed the equal time from Jamie.

Dear Santa...

Every day, heading to and from work, I cross Ben White at South First. Usually on the way home, I would see Santa. Santa was a homeless guy with a white beard, who often wore a red hoodie pulled up over his head, even in the worst heat.

I mentioned him in passing once to Jason, because I was curious as to why he would do that in summertime. Jason knew who Santa was as his former employer was officed just a block away. Jason had heard that inappropriate clothing was a sign of mental illness. And many mentally ill people can find themselves on the street, this I know.

Every day when driving home, I'd look for Santa. He lived, I finally determined, under a blue tarp in front of Chuck E Cheese on the North East side of the Ben White/ S. First intersection. I think it was supported by a few shopping carts. He'd always be at a bus stop, or walking along the street. He never had the obligatory cardboard sign asking for a donation, and he never seemed much interested in either the cars or pedestrians.

As winter came down, I was a little worried for Santa. Even with all the coats, and the beard to keep him warm... you know?

A while back, when headed into work, I saw someone leaning down to Santa's makeshift home and talking to him. The person wore a plastic ID badge of some sort, and was dressed like a professional. I wondered what might be going on. I'd hoped that it was a homeless advocacy group checking up on him in winter.

Not so long ago, I saw Santa in a new hoodie, walking from the southside of S. First.

And then Santa was gone. It was a few days before I noticed I wasn't seeing him. And then I saw his shopping cart/ tarp home was no longer there. Just a patch of dead grass and some refuse to suggest he'd ever been there.

But every day, both coming and going from work, I'd look for Santa. But every day, I kind of suspected... You know he wasn't the healthiest looking guy. He lived near heavy traffic. Sometimes things happen. Maybe that lady wasn't there to help him as much as I hoped she was...

And then yesterday when I was driving in to work, there was this weird, ghostly image of Santa, sitting, waiting for the bus. It looked like him. Legs out, hood pulled down. But inside, he was a shadow. He was all in white, but inside... was nothing. Someone had made a sculpture of some sort of Santa. Someone else was looking for Santa, too.

The image of the empty hood bothered me. When I go to work, I e-mailed Jason. "Have you seen Santa? I haven't seen him in a while. I think he might be dead."

You don't make statues to homeless guys who've just moved on.

On the way home, I saw the statue was still there, sitting as Santa would in the weather, hood pulled down. But with no Santa inside. Instead, in his arms he held flowers. And people were there, paying respects.

And just like I did every day, I drove home, and I didn't think much about Santa once I was home. Until I woke up this morning, and that image came back to me. The white hoodie statue, with nothing to look back.

This evening Jason sent me this article.

Apparently I am not the only one who looked forward to seeing Santa twice a day as we headed up and back S. First on our way to work and home. Or who wondered what happened to the face we saw every day, but whose name we didn't know... so how are you going to look after him?

I don't know what's become of Santa/ Jerry. I hope the story has a happy ending. Most often, these kinds of stories don't.

It's odd that so many, myself included, felt some sense of confusion when Jerry disappeared. And I am not alone in the sense of loss when I saw the statue on the side of the road.

I am reminded of one morning, now several years ago, when stuck in traffic headed south on Lamar beneath the train tracks just before 5th street, I looked at the memorial painted on the support beam for the bridge, the same way I had, literally hundreds of times before.

"Fair Sailing, Tall Boy".

The words had been there as long as I could remember. Even when the bridge was repainted, the memorial graffiti found its way back to the bridge within a week.

Some days things mean more than on other days.

In time the statue of Jerry will be taken away. Or melt in the awful weather we've had the past few days. But I wish it wouldn't. It would be nice to know that the statue can be there for us all to remember Jerry for just a minute every day, just as we watched him with curiosity each day on our way to work. Just checking in to see what he was doing this morning. Or maybe this evening. And to remind ourselves that we maybe should have had more to say to Jerry before he was gone.

Indy IV

enjoy it while its up on YouTube!

Happy Valentine's Day, Jamie

Hey, Leaguers! Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, the day when we're supposed to celebrate romance, love, all that stuff...

So a salute to the lady I've been associated with, lo, these many years.

Jamie and I have been together since 1995, and this is our 13th Valentine's Day together. This year Jason got Jamie tickets to Ballet Austin for Christmas, so tomorrow evening I go to the Paramount to see some folks in tights hop about and spin. If they added capes and someone got a knuckle-sandwich in the third act, it wouldn't be too much different from what I'd be watching or reading on a Thursday anyway, so I'm looking forward to it.

It's no secret that I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. Partially because, I mean, honestly... once you're in it as deep as we are in the shared property department, its kind of tough to fathom why you need a special day. You have anniversaries, birthdays, real Holidays and many opportunities to communicate your specialness to one another. And somehow a $0.002 candy heart with the words "LUV YOU" printed on it seems to not really convey the meaning...

Anyhow, Jamie's a special sort of dame, and if you have to put up with the hoopla of flowers and not-very-good candy, etc... you might as well feel good about who you're doing it for. And I do.

Love you, Jamie. Happy Valentine's Day.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

So I'm going to be making a bit of a career change.

I like my current job. I do. The people are great, the work is interesting, and I've made some genuine, lifelong pals. That ain't bad. I like my clients, and I like what we do.

However, I've been given an opportunity elsewhere, and there are enough advantages to the position that I'd be silly not to take it. From the interviews, I can tell you the people at my new office seem terrific, too. Apparently I'm invited to a potluck in a few days. And I don't cook, really, so have I failed before I've begun? Maybe they'll be happy with a canister of Pringles.

The change will be very soon. Two weeks and a few days from now.

For Leaguers who've recently joined me at my current place of employment, I wish you the best of luck. You're smart and a go-getter. I am sure you will be quite okay without me saying hello every time you go to the water cooler and are forced to enter my line of sight.

Stray Thought of the Day

An apology to Peabo

Firstly, I gotta apologize to Peabo. I completely misunderstood what had happened with Herbie Hancock and believed he'd won for some sub-category, not album of the
year. I now understand the dismay a bit more. But I find the selection by the Academy to be fascinating.

I've dismissed the Grammies as little more than an acknowledgment of what Billboard has told us through record sales. Some vanilla pop would always win, stuff that had sold lots of records and usually had little to no artistic merit. It wasn't enough that Milli Vanilli had their award taken away. After all, someone had voted that their album was the best of the year to begin with. What group of right thinking people would come to that plurality opinion to begin with?

It seems that rather than further dig the music industry further into a hole, and further cementing the reputation of the Grammies as useless, could the music industry have made a decision to actually vote for something other than popular pop? I don't know, I haven't heard the album. But... it certainly makes me raise an eyebrow. If you want an analogy, it seems as if they went from voting for "Transformers" for best picture and maybe went for a "There Will be Blood".

I can't claim to be the huge fan of Hancock that JAL, Jason and Nathan are, but it's exciting to see him recognized for his work on such a big stage.

DITMJOD?

At last I feel free of the yolk of the whole DITMTLOD thing for a day or two. Jamie assures me she's putting together her own list. What is the acronym, then? DITMJOD (Dudes in the Media Jamie Once Dug)? I don't know.


Weekend

The weekend came and went too fast. These things happen.

Friday we stayed in, watched Jurassic Park for some reason, and I noted that so much of what seemed forward thinking in 1993 now seems like relics of a bygone era. Children declaring "This is a Unix system! I know this!" and then flying around through a high-end CGI interface when most people still didn't know what a folder was in Windows 3.1. Declaring that something being expensive must equal the cost of the item (light = plastic and cheap). Ignorance of chaos theory, and, of course, supposedly top paleontologists loudly declaring concepts that were then widely held in the paleontological community, and which have now been fully integrated into the zeitgeist.

We all know, in 2008, that some dinosaurs became birds.

Saturday we cleaned. It takes a serious amount of time to clean my shelves, and if you've been to League HQ, you know of what I speak.

We caught up with CB and David at the Alamo for a showing of Sweeney Todd. I actually liked the movie quite a bit. There was the definite feel of the underlying architecture of the stage musical beneath the whole thing. Young lovers, dramatic irony, a despicable villain or two... I'm not terribly familiar with Sondheim, and I have only vague recollections of CB and I viewing a portion of a PBS presentation of Sweeney Todd from back when we were in college.

If nothing else, being a bit of Burton nut back around when he did Ed Wood and Mars Attacks!, I recall that Burton had wanted to do Sweeney Todd back then. Part of me is very glad he waited until he had the cast he needed (Bonham Carter and Depp are great. Rickman is typically terrific), and the maturity to pull it off without getting precious about the whole business.

We were scheduled to come back to League HQ for some dessert, and were maybe twenty feet inside the door when Mel sneezed, somehow blowing his drainage tube free from his mouth. I have no idea how he pulled that off, but it was kind of sad... just hanging from his mouth, inside the dog-safety-cone he'd been wearing.

The eVet clipped the tube free, and Mel is fine. It was just typically weird stuff that seems to happen with us and our pets.

Anyway, Mel is doing better. No cone.

Yesterday Mel took it easy and I took Lucy to the dog park for a game of fetch. She had a lot of fun, but couldn't outrun this one red dog. I'd never actually seen that before. It was kind of funny.

Anyhow, back to work now.

Hope you had a good weekend.

Stray thought of the day - 02/11

I still have to pause and remember that Obama is Obama's last name. It still sounds to me like a first name. I think it's the fact that it ends with a long "a" sound, whereas his first name sounds like a last name, ending with a hard consonant.

Apparently in high school, he went by "Barry".

Also, Mike Huckabee is still hilarious. Watching him on the Colbert Report using Texas as a piece in air hockey was somehow deeply satisfying and said more about our process than I think was intended.

DITMTLOD: I HEART the 90's - Part 3

The Honorable Mentions

So, I've already covered several DITMTLOD of the 1990's. I thought I'd include a list of honorable mentions of the era, whom we may return to for further exploration in future installments.

Here's a smattering of folks who almost, almost made the list. I've also asked a few Leaguers to tell me who they thought deserved to make the list. Steven has promised a list of his own, but dare he deliver...?


Part 3 - Subsection A: The Honorable Mentions

Who almost made the list?


Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor in Terminator 2
Why: Because she's tougher than nails and will kick you in the head
Why not: Because she's tougher than nails and will kick you in the head

Jodie Foster
Why: She was great in Silence of the Lambs, Little Man Tate and was the only part of "Contact" that I liked.
Why not: Fessing up to an admiration for Ms. Foster can get you on watch lists for the Secret Service, the FBI, the CIA and the Girl Scouts of America

Salt'n'Pepa
Why: The video for "Shoop"
Why not: I am not sure I was a fan of the actual music of Salt'n'Pepa. Plus, I think, like a lot of girl groups, they had the Voltron effect. They were better (and more formidable) together than apart.


Salma Hayek
Why: Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn
Why Not: Pretty much everything else she did in the 1990's, capped off with "Wild, Wild West", which I blame on her agent.

Jamie McBride in "The Final Cut", "Finding Mike", "Ryan's 16mm test footage"
Why: Super foxy. Mysterious, kick-ass allure.
Why not: After 2000, didn't appear in much but in Christmas and travel videos produced by video auteur Dick McBride.


Part 3 - Subsection B: Dames of Interest from Other Leaguers

• Alicia Silverstone - Most infamously from "Batman & Robin". I don't know what to say. I know she was considered to be the next big thing in the mid-90's, but I found her annoying and kind of dumb. Also, "Clueless" is not cutely subversive. It is terrible.
  
• Betsy Lynn George - Actress, Video: Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love". I always felt sorry for that dude in the video. That crazy lady broke all his stuff and drank his booze. If I wanted that, I would watch "Jerry Springer".
  
• Jenni from Jennicam - I had no idea who this was and had to look it up. Wow. We really had no understanding of the power of technology in the 90's, did we?
• Lisa Loeb - She was so cute in her big glasses, but on the 1000th play of that song, man, it started to bug... To nobody's surprise, Wikipedia says she has a degree from Brown in Comparative Literature. Of course she does.
  
• Tanya Harding - You kind of have to respect her for thinking outside the box. And, really, remember how they tried to turn Kerrigan into America's Sweetheart, and then she dissed Disney and the plebes come to cheer her? Maybe Harding was on to something. Plus, Harding surprised everyone when she beat the tar out of Paula Jones on celebrity boxing. What wasn't to like?
• Kate Winslet - Who was prettier in Titanic? She or Leo? Winslet is one of the most talented actors of her generation, and easy on the eyes. But in the 1990's, I mostly associated her with "Heavenly Creatures", and therefore was afraid of her.
• Claudia Schiffer - a model of the super variety. I understand she's supposed to be really smart. But didn't she marry David Copperfield for a while?
  
• Cindy Blackman (Lenny Kravtiz's touring drummer from the 1990s) - You remember this dame from the video for "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" This lady seemed like a rock-solid percussionist as well as being attractive in cooler-than-an-ice-cube sort of way. The League's hat is off.
• Lara Croft (the video game character- not Angelina Jolie) - Not sure what to make of this, so best not to think about it too much.
• Shannon Tweed - I am a virtuous and pious man and have no idea who Ms. Tweed is.
  
• Gates McFadden & Mariana Sirkis - Dr. Crusher and Counselor Troi of Star Trek: The Next generation. In 1995 I was involved in a debate at Captain Quakenbush's that wound up involving, I do not lie, most of the coffeeshop. While a friendly debate, "Are you a Dr. Crusher man, or into Counselor Troi?" led to many-a-dude spontaneously volunteering their opinion. Me and the guy serving the cappucinos? Dr. Crusher.
• Leslie Hardy, Keyboardist for the Murder City Devils - No idea who this is.
• Linda Fiorentino - Never seen a Linda Fiorentino movie. The descriptions of the movies always sounded like the "erotic thriller" plots from Cinemax late night.
• Girl from "Mr. Jones" video - Counting Crows and their frat-friendly faux-college rock make me itch. I tried to watch the video on YouTube for research and couldn't do it. I'll have to take your word for it.
• and... Tawny Kitaen, for her performance in a White Snake video or two. It was later deduced that was the 1980's. However, Ms. Kitaen took the place of Loni Anderson in the 1990's "New WKRP in Cinicinatti" as the resident secretly brilliant bombshell. She was a poor substitute for Anderson.
  

That's it. And will be it for quite some time. I am quite drained after so many DITMTLOD, and I assume the readership is quite sick of it as well. Well, this week we'll be back to comics, movies, dog reports, and more of the same uselessness you've come to expect.

That said, we have a comments section. Feel free to chime in and tell me where I went wrong on this whole "dames" thing.

Stray Thought of the Day

How much would it stink to decide to plunge into the waters of the ocean for a nice swim and accidentally land on the horn of a breaching narwhal?

I'm just saying.

I HEART the 90's: DITMTLOD Part 2

We're back for another round of: The League loses a small part of his soul.

This will wrap up the Top 10 DITMTLOD of the 1990's. As with the last post, I've included a "special mention" of someone I identify with the 90's, but who can't be confined to the 1990's for whatever reason.

As this list covers The League from age 14-24ish, it is nowhere near definitive, and we may have a follow up list on this.

I hope you continue to enjoy my walk down memory lane with DITMTLOD, 90's Super Post Numero Dos.



6. Sherilyn Fenn as Audrey Horne on Twin Peaks

David Lynch, known mostly for his eccentric films with unusual plots, oddball characters and dreamlike imagery also has excellent taste in the ladies. His 1990 TV series, Twin Peaks, was littered with DITMTLOD, including a pre-creepy Laura Flynn Boyle and Madchen Amick (whose IMDB record reads like a who's who of films and TV shows I've never seen).


Audrey Horne was not very much like the girls at Klein Oak from 1990-1993.

As Audrey Horne, the trouble-making teen-age daughter of millionaire hotelier Benjamin Horne, Sherilyn Fenn gave Agent Dale Cooper a foil within the Great Northern Hotel. She was clearly not a teenager, but I forgave her. As the series progressed, her storylines were a bit hinky as the character seemed to be popular, but too often occurred on the periphery of the main story-arc (she simply wasn't involved with the death of Laura Palmer). Her attempt at romance with Agent Cooper never really seemed terribly believable, but, again... whatever.



Ahhh... that unmistakable mood of Twin Peaks, where you kind of don't know what to make of it, and it might be something horrific, or it might just be something... weird.





7. Laura Dern in Jurassic Park and Wild at Heart

The daughter of character actor Bruce Dern and actress/ pin-up Diane Ladd, Laura Dern popped up in two very different movies in the 1990's, 1990's "Wild at Heart" and 1993's "Jurassic Park".


I actually own this movie, and I'm still not sure what its about.

Wild at Heart may have been director David Lynch working out some of the stuff he couldn't work into TV. It's an absolutely fascinating film, and Dern is even more fun to watch, paired with a Nic Cage who had not yet quite bought into his own hype.

As the girlfriend of Sailor Ripley and daughter of Marietta Fortune, Lula is caught between white hot love/ lust and her overbearing/ insane mother. It's... interesting, but not something I'd recommend for The Karebear and Admiral.

However, as Dr. Ellie Sattler in Jurassic Park, Dern managed to play an action hero with brains and a conscience. Unlike her roles in "Wild at Heart" or "Blue Velvet", Dern played Ellie Sattler as the face of the joy of scientific discovery in Jurassic Park, and, uhm... that scene where she runs as fast as she can to the bunker to turn the power back on? For my dollar, one of the most Spielbergian of Spielbergian moments of mounting tension.


Dern considers throwing children at the dinosaurs as bait.

She would later appear in Jurassic Park III, saving the day for all involved thanks to her ability to use a telephone. I have not seen, I don't think, anything else Dern put to screen. However, her IMDB page says there's a Jurassic Park IV in the offing. And while JP3 was nowhere close to Jurassic Park or even JP2, I'm still likely to go see it. Cause I like a good dinosaur movie. And Laura Dern.




8. Kim Deal, bass & vocals for The Pixies, guitar & vocals for The Breeders

Around 1989, I began listening to The Pixies. I really liked the tune "This Monkey's Gone to Heaven" off Doolittle. The Pixies would follow up with the album Bossanova only a year later. Then Trompe Le Monde in 1991.

Black Francis/ Frank Black would spin off to do his own projects, and bassist Kim Deal would find pop/rock stardom as the frontman for The Breeders. The Breeders were most famous for the songs "Cannonball" and "One Divine Hammer" from the album Last Splash. Despite my curmudgeonly ways, I was a fan of radio-friendly tunes and had the pleasure of seeing The Breeders perform at Lollapalooza in 1994 or so.


Rock music makes Kim Deal happy

Deal's bass playing isn't necessarily the craziest, and her vocals didn't carry the strength of the power-belters of R&B that saturated the airwaves in the 1990's. But her voice was distinct, and the basslines catchy. She was able to translate that talent into catchy tunes for The Breeders and ride the wave of the introduction of "alternative" music to mainstream radio from the gutter of 120 Minutes' Sunday at midnight broadcasting slot.

Plus, she was cute in a punk-rock-girl-next-door sort of manner.


This monkey's gone to heaven

Here's a kick in the crotch: I had tickets to see the Pixies during their reunion tour about four years ago and didn't end up going for one reason or another.

And I am not just saying this: she and Tina Weymouth are probably the two people most responsible for me wanting to pick up the bass.





9. Patricia Arquette as Alabama in "True Romance" and Kathy O'Hara in "Ed Wood"

I've never been someone to actually seek out a movie because it features a particular actor, and thus I've dodged watching much of Ms. Arquette's considerable portfolio of work.


And, uh... yeah.

"True Romance" was a film of the 1990's, and of my 20's, and I have a hard time believing that I'd get a 1/3rd of the enjoyment now from the movie which I got back then. Alabama is a bit of a miracle for Clarence Worley, comic shop manager and trash film enthusiast. In short, he's a stand-in for screen-writer Quentin Tarantino,a nd as such, one must assume Alabama was some fantasy character Tarantino wished would stumble into him at the Grindhouse theater, whisking him away from his video clerk job.

Alabama might not have been written to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but at the time I appreciated the weirdo-toughness of Alabama's character as she sort of bounces through the film like a pinball, managing to come out on top despite some pretty tough moments.


And I think Jamie puts up with a lot...

Arquette would bring that same ease of going-with-the-flow to her role as Kathy O'Hara in "Ed Wood", as the woman who stands by her man despite (perhaps because of) his oddities. Perhaps it was still some of Ms. Alabama Worley I had in the back of my mind, as subsequent viewings of "Ed Wood" don't particularly feature Arquette jumping off the screen.

Arquette was married for a time to Nic Cage, and is now starring in the successful sci-fi drama, "Medium". I haven't really checked it out.



10. Lynne Russell- Headline News

I've taken some flack for this one, but I used to dig the talking head on CNN's Headline News, Lynne Russell. Say what you will, but it got me watching the news on a regular basis. You can have your Katie Couric or whatever, but for my TV-news-viewing-dollar in the 1990's, there was no voice more trusted nor anyone I tolerated more speaking in 30 minute loops than Ms. Russell's evening broadcast.

Russell pre-dated the dawn of the news-bunny, and was an anchor you could actually take seriously, despite the fact that her job seemed to entail sitting at a desk and not freaking out in the third hour of her shift repeating the same headlines. She was occasionally a little snarky with the stories, but also managed to pull off gravitas when the need arose.


Ah, the glory days of cable news...

Russell is also a black belt in a Choi Kwang Do, has a website of questionable design, was a private investigator and I read somewhere that she occasionally performed police work in some capacity. I think she also carries a concealed handgun.

Today's Headline News is, in fact, awful. Once Time Warner got their hands on Turner's news empire, they ransacked the place and replaced the actual news with Glenn Beck, Showbiz Tonight, and (shudder) Nancy Grace. Good luck getting any actual news.

Lynne was not the bubbly air-head CNN began experimenting with in the late-90's (see the abysmal morning show on Headline News), and so was shown the door.

Upon departing the CNN studios, Lynne wrote her memoirs, which were entitled "How to Win Friends, Kick Ass, and Influence People". Ms. Russell, I salute thee.

She's now living in Canada. And I guess involved in a Canadian news service of some sort. Which has got to be a better gig than the embarrassment Headline News has gladly become.

We miss you Lynne.




Special Mention: Siouxsie Sioux



The UK must have been an interesting place in the 1970's. While the US was jamming to Disco Duck, they were coming up with nifty ideas like The Sex Pistols, The Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees.

When Jason saw what i was doing with the Special Mention section of these posts, his first words were "You didn't post about Siouxsie Sioux". Apparently, I am far more transparent than even I realize.

In high school I kept pictures of Siouxsie Sioux on my wall. I really remember The Admiral just staring at a poster from "Israel", starting to ask a question, and then deciding it was best to just drop it.

While Siouxsie's unique look helped get the band some attention, I'm actually a fan of the music. Unfortunately, as time has worn on, when a Siouxsie tune pops up on my iPod, I no longer can tell you exactly which song it is like I once could.

The heyday of the band was probably, really, the 80's as the popularity of the band took off. I, of course, failed to know much about them until a year after Peek-a-Boo had been released. I'd liked the single, but didn't pick up the album (Peepshow)until later.

The band continued to play well into the 1990's. I saw them at the first Lollapalooza in Dallas, but would not catch them on any subsequent tours. I believe they officially broke up around 1996/97, with Siouxsie and husband/ bandmate Budgie moving on to play with their splinter effort, The Creatures. They cited the abysmal conditions of the music industry and their desire to no longer work within that framework. They had not, of course, seen what the music industry would become.

Stylistically, the band dwelled in the land of what my former co-worker liked to call "raincoat rock". Moody, atmospheric, and defined largely by Siouxsie's unmistakable voice, for which the band was probably named. Like so many bands of the time, image was a huge part of the persona, and its tough to really gauge the effect Sioux may have had on many-a-mopey teen with her Egyptian-themed make-up and varying degrees of spikiness to her hair.



Mostly, whether accurate or not, she just seemed a heck of a lot more interesting than anything that was going on in Spring, Texas in 1992.

Siouxsie never got a huge amount of coverage in the American music press, at least while I was reading, and I never really knew a whole heck of a lot about her or the band. I'd hear bits and pieces here and there, but I suppose if I'd known much, it would have ruined the mystery, and that was half the fun.


Siouxsie performs in 2007

Siouxsie released a new album in 2007, a solo effort which I just found out about while doing some Googling. She toured the UK and the West Coast. No Austin dates as far as I can tell. It is a shame that she's not hooked up with the upcoming (June) arrival of The Cure in Austin. That would certainly be a double-bill worth checking out for a walk down high-school memory lane.



That's it for the Top 10

Please feel free to comment, reminisce, reflect, etc...



Plus, you got the bonus coverage by way of Special Mention.

Friends of Melbotis

A huge thank you to all of you who have inquired about Mel's welfare over the past week or so.

Mel's having some trouble with his stitching, so I'm bringing him back to the vet tomorrow, very early. I asked Jamie if I could not see if they could not do a quick patch job at Build-a-Bear at the mall, but she said the vet would probably do a better job.

I want to send special public thanks to a few folks:

• The parents, who have been so supportive
• Jason, who took Lucy off our hands during the days of surgery
• Nicole, who has helped out a lot with Mel over the past week
• Steven and Lauren, who came over this weekend for a quiet night in, to visit with Mel and to wrangle Lucy
• Randy, who generously sent along some delicious looking gourmet dog treats

Mel appreciates it, and we appreciate it.

I do not mean to leave anyone off of the list here. Thanks so much to everyone.

Mel is getting better. Surgery is just tough, especially when you're a dog and have no idea what is going on.

FAIL

From this site, by way of Jamie.

In a way, I feel sort of bad for the Pats and Tom Brady.
Its got to be heartbreaking to come that close and then fall short when the eyes of the world are upon you. Yes, of course, its nice to see the Pats get their comeuppance in such spectacular fashion, but, really, they were a very good team, and nobody can say they didn't work for the successes of the season.

Super Tuesday

Still undecided going into the primaries? How can you make it a SUPER Tuesday?

The League has selected a candidate based on his support of The Man of Steel.



Until McCain, Romney, Paul, Clinton, Huckabee or someone else shows support for the Last Son of Krypton, Obama is our man.

Of course, I can't vote until March, so all the candidates have an opportunity to pick a superhero between now and March.

Who would each of the candidates pick to represent them?

You tell me!

A Post about Mel

You can see a picture of a post-surgery Melbotis at Jason's blog.

DITMTLOD: I Heart the 90's - Part 1

Ahhhhhh... the 1990's. No doubt a time of great change for The League as we went from high school, to college, to, uh... whatever this period is in my life. But as always, The League was there... watching TV and stuff. And while our heart will always belong to Lynda Carter, there are many other Dames in the Media the League Once Dug.

After five years or whatever of maintaining this blog, your erstwhile League occasionally runs out of material. And so when JimD suggested I do a Dames In the Media The League Once Dug 90's Super Post, I thought: Heck, why not?

But who were the DITMTLOD of the League's 1990's? In the very special post, we'll take a look at ladies of the the League's interest in the 90's, both fictional and real. I had planned on doing a top 10, but we'll see how this shakes out.

A few rules I set up: I'm focusing on things that came out in the 90's. If the media came out prior to the 1990's, but I didn't discover it until the 90's, I'm only including one per posting as a "Special Mention".

This is all so much cheaper than therapy.



1. Gillian Anderson as Special Agent Dana Scully

I'm listing Dr. Dana Scully as those who knew me in the 90's should be well aware of this particular DITMTLOD.

Short, skeptical, a doctor and endlessly patient with her partner, what wasn't to like? Anderson herself interviewed just simply terribly when you would see her on shows like "Late Night", but as long as she had X-files dialog coming out of her mouth, she was smart, lovely, and would stand still for lingering close-ups.

I've never really seen Gillian Anderson in anything but X-Files. Not even the movie where she purportedly runs about topless from her pre-X-Files days. But she was good in the role, and I would probably watch her again if she ever appeared in anything close to the sorts of movies I dig.

Also, she seems to be aging very well if the interweb photos I saw when looking for an image are any indication.



The above photo is a nice image of Agent Scully, but this is the image I had on my wall in college, printed in black and white from my junky Packard Bell printer circa 1995. Because, you know, I was classy.




2. Amanda Pays as Dr. Christina McGee

Amanda Pays first came to The League's attention as News Producer Theora Jones on the program "Max Headroom" back in the 80's. The same cool, confident demeanor she brought to Max Headroom (and a knack for delivering pseudo-sciencey lines) she brought with the same verve to The Flash.

Tina McGee was a biophysicist or some such who explained Barry's powers to him, and thus, to the audience. She also looked really nice in really unflattering circa 1990 clothes. But she looked nice in a lab-coat.


A pre-interweb show that ran for only one season, there's not much on the web in the way of photos from The Flash

Pays remains a mystery to The League as she wound up marrying Corbin Bernsen. Which means Corbin Bernsen has better taste in women than I would have assumed.




3. Michelle Yeoh, Various roles

Whether as a SuperCop, in a Police Story, as part of a Heroic Trio, ensuring that Tomorrow Never Dies or, after the 90's, as either a Crouching Tiger or Hidden Dragon, Michelle Yeoh was always a favorite of The League.

In 1993 or so, JAL and Michael would grab me and get me down to Hogg Auditorium on UT's campus where they would show Jackie Chan movies on the weekends. If you could put up with the rock-hard seating and the bats which would flit around, you could catch a pretty good movie for almost no cost.


The lovely Ms. Yeoh is now going to cripple you

Michelle Yeoh was in the Super Cop movies, and then in Heroic Trio. Later, I would be convinced to go see the 1997 Bond installment "Tomorrow Never Dies", based entirely upon the fact that Yeoh was in the movie. And, of course, 2000's "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" finally showcased the actress in a light which I felt finally did her justice for a large American audience.



Since then she's been a favorite in the film "Memoirs of a Geisha". Where she does not get to kick ass in quite the same way.



4. Lady Miss Kier, Deee-Lite

I invite you to remember the first time you saw Lady Miss Kier in her platform shoes, little retro dress, huge eye lashes and funky dance moves. Add in a fun song, a good voice, and imagine that in Spring, Texas circa 1990ish.

I didn't really understand what Deee-Lite was up to, but I did know The League would always pause to watch the video for "Groove is in the Heart", and not just for Bootsy Collins' awesome bass-work.

But, really watch 2:32 - 3:06 again. That is why.



Also, Bootsy is from outer space.


De-Groovy

Lady Miss Kier is still actively performing and spinning records all over the globe. The days of Deee-Lite are now behind us, but Her Eminence keeps grooving on.


5. Marcia Gay Harden as Verna Bernbaum in "Miller's Crossing".



It's difficult to gauge what sort of impact or impression any one movie has on you as a lad, but certainly those who knew me when will recall my fascination with "Miller's Crossing" and Harden's character, Verna, which lasted for years.

Verna is a tough-talking moll, cut from the cloth of some of the tougher characters of cinema of crime movies of the 30's and 40's, and certainly the books of Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler. Verna was the sort of role that you weren't seeing on the screen all that much in 1990 when Miller's Crossing debuted.

I was a huge fan, and continue to believe its a great performance. But the movie probably gave me some funny ideas about how to interact with the ladies.

As always, The League highly recommends Miller's Crossing. One of the greats of the past 25 years of film. Harden is no small contributor to that film's status.


Getting drunk and confronting your lady of interest = a plan that needs revision

I don't keep up with Harden's work. I think the last thing I saw her in was "Space Cowboys", but I never managed to see "Pollock" or, really, much else she's done. I still want to know what the heck she was doing in "Flubber".


Special mention: Claudia Cardinale as Jill in "Once Upon a Time in the West"

Firstly, is "Once Upon a Time in the West" a great Western? Or The Greatest Spaghetti Western?

(I have a pet theory about why the Western died out. 1) John Ford died. 2) After Leone had his run, what was the point?)

Released in 1968, but discovered on video during my "Holy smokes, Sergio Leone kicks ass" phase of film school, "Once Upon a Time in the West" is still one of my favorite Westerns, and one of my favorite movies.

In the tradition of all Sergio Leone movies, Claudia Cardinale is badly looped in "Once Upon a Time in the West". I have no idea if she actually speaks English as I've never had the opportunity to see her in anything else.

Her arrival really kicks the story into gear, and she proceeds to out-tough Charles Bronson. Let me repeat that: SHE OUT-TOUGHS @#$%^ing CHARLES BRONSON, all without ever really using a gun. Also, she out toughs Jason Robards AND an EVIL Henry Fonda.

Top that, Sigourney Weaver.

Probably not the most progressive movie ever made, but a heck of a story and full wall-to-wall with great characters, Cardinale's creation of Jill McBain turns out to be the strongest force in a lawless frontier. Also, her theme by the amazing Ennio Morricone is the sort of sweeping score today's composers could learn from.


Yowza





That's it for the first installment.

I encourage you to mention your own Ladies of Interest (or Dudes of Interest, depending on how you swing). Also, this post came out of an idea from one of your fellow Leaguers, so if you have any bright ideas for The League, shoot them my way.

Awesome ending to a Superbowl

Well, we hadn't really planned to watch, but changed our minds this morning and went out and got some food.

The last quarter of the game was not the best quarter of football I've ever seen, but it was the best ending to a Superbowl I can recall. The seemingly unstoppable Patriots went down, the Giants' Eli Manning was the second Manning in two years to win a Superbowl, and the final drive by the Giants was amazing.

The first three quarters were deadly dull as the two grat defenses wailed on each team's offense, but... heck.. the Giants' season couldn't have been better if it had been written by a Hollywood scripter.

I will now quit saying "Eli's really good, but it's got to be tough having Peyton Manning for a brother."

I do want to call BS on the poll for MVP for Animal Planet's Puppybowl IV. The Golden got too little screen time, and where are the labs?

Oh no

The least fortunate part of politicking has now arrived in Texas.

I just saw my first televised campaign ad of the 2008 presidential race. God bless each and every one of you living in states where you've already slogged through a primary.

The ad was a fairly simple ad for Mike Huckabee (I'm going to nail the "out of business" sign on the IRS. Perhaps you've seen it?)

It was on during the first bit of pre-Superbowl broadcast I flipped to this morning, and I am wondering if the campaigns can actually afford Superbowl time. After all, the campigns aren't selling cheap, watery beer or powerful trucks. How much advertising can they afford?

Anyhooo.... so it begins. And will end in November, I suppose.

Hooray for my DVR and my ability to FFWD thru the commercials.

Super Cool!

My post on Captain America from the other day got picked up by Blog@Newsarama.

You can see it here.

Thanks to Jim for finding the article.

Also, the League was part of something really great this week, partaking in the 10th anniversary retrospective of the film "The Zero Effect". Visit Chronological Snobbery to read a huge amount of information about this little known, but much loved film.

heck, even star of the film Bill Pullman is reading it.


The League made a comment or two about Pullman's performance I now feel were a bit not-right. I am going to post on that later.

Mr. Pullman has a Saturday afternoon basic cable viewing of "Spaceballs" to thank for me realizing what a bizarre and wide variety of stuff he's been in, from Spaceballs to Lost Highway to ID4. And all pulled off with aplomb. Mr. Pullman, I salute you.

Comics You Should Be Reading: Action Comics

The League was reading some of his weekly stash of comics last night, and I was reminded that while one of the primary missions of The League of Melbotis is a forum for my Super-Fandom, I don't always mention the comics.

I stick with the Superman titles through thick and thin, sort of like a Cubs fan might stick with the Cubbies. And just as a Cubs fan might get very excited when they enter the play-offs, so do I get excited when the comics are on an uptic of quality.

Writer Geoff Johns (Green Lantern, JSA, etc...) was once a film-school graduate working as an assistant to Richard Donner, director of Superman: The Movie. It took Johns a while to work his way through the DCU to his current position as writer of GL, Action Comics, and pretty much any other property he wants to get his hands on.

Honestly, when Donner and Johns took over on Action Comics, I was a bit skeptical. Johns' love of Superman was well-known, and I was concerned he would be too concerned about making a wrong move and begin on a forgettable run. But that wasn't the case.


The Up, Up and Away storyline ran through Superman and Action Comics in mid-2006

Johns teamed first with writer Kurt Busiek for the first One Year Later storyline "Up, up and Away", a storyline which re-set the status quo for Superman and the World of Metropolis. After that, Johns and Donner moved into telling the story "Last Son", which would introduce the triumverate of Zod, Ursa and Non to the comics for, really, the first time. (Zod and other Phantom Zone survivors had appeared in the comics during the Bronze Age, from the Weisinger and Schwartz eras of editorialship, but the trio seen in Superman: The Movie and Superman II were somewhat an amalgamation of characters seen in the comics.)

"Last Son" was a fascinating storyline, but... artist Adam Kubert ran late with his issues, winding up with fill-ins during the middle of the storyline, and culminating in the single, 3D issue of Action Comics 851 (which was cool), but the storyline broke precedent and never actually wrapped up. Apparently series artist Adam Kubert, who had been announced as coming onto the comic with huge fanfare, simply wasn't keeping up with his duties. Kubert helps run the Joe Kubert School of Cartooning, and who knows what else was going on in his private life.


A Kubert Action Comics cover

Unfortunately, despite the engaging story, the delays made the comic impossible to recommend, and shook my faith in what Johns was brining to the title. A few fill ins and an unexpected Annual issue later, and the series was back on track with Eric Powell drawn Escape from Bizarroworld.


Powell's work on the JLA of Bizzaroworld

With 52 concluded and Teen Titans no longer on his plate, Johns seems to have found focus on both Green Lantern and Action Comics. Donner is no longer on the writing team, and it may be a case of Johns slipping backward into fanboyishness... But the current storyline "Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes".

Superman is asked to return to the future of the 31st Century, re-establishing continuity lost during the Crisis on Infinite Earths and with the Byrne/ Wolfman reboot of the Superman titles with Man of Steel. He learns that an "Earth First" movement has meant that the true story of Superman, now 1000 years in the past, has been co-opted by the movement and changed so that the people of Earth would believe Superman was born on Earth, denying his Kryptonian heritage. They are using this as part of an anti-alien propaganda, which is leading to war between Earth and other planets of the 31st Century.


Gary Frank's art on the cover of Action Comics

It's a good read, despite some gaps in logic that could use some explaining. The action is fast-paced, and while it's certainly rewarding to know a bit about the Legion, it's not a requirement for getting into the story. The threats are understandable and of an appropriately enormous scope for a Legion and Superman story. There's a common complaint in comics that the fanboys are now writing the comics, and that's inherently bad for comics. But in the case of Johns, his understanding of the publishing history of Superman and the Legion helps to make a textured read with a good understanding of character and character motivation.

Add in the pencils of Gary Frank, whose style one might compare to a less cartoonish Steve Dillon (sharing the love and mastery of the facial expression), mixed with detail of far more naturalistic artists, its a great look for the title. Especially as Frank has internalized Christopher Reeve for his version of Superman, and gives the reader a Superman with distinct facial characteristics.

You may still be able to pick up this storyline from the first issue at your local comic shop, or may wish to wait for the inevitable collection. Either way, now's a great time to be jumping into Action Comics.

Super Friends

Kinda sorta funny. Your mileage may vary.

YouTube Friday

Not work safe. It's Sarah Silverman, so what do you expect...?

Mel looks like 10 Miles of Bad Road

Ho boy.

Well, the left half of Mel's face is shaved, as well as the left side of his neck, and some spots around his legs. His face is pretty badly bruised from the surgery, and his eye is sort of blackened, if a dog can get a black eye.

Jamie's got him pretty well tranq'd up, so he's resting, and seems perhaps... too happy when he does wake up. He has to eat tiny little scoops of his dog food which Jamie has turned into meatballs.

I know in a few days he'll be getting back to normal in spirits, but for now he looks a bit like Batman-villain Two Face.

Also, the cone... I have to put the cone on him again. Which I'm not looking forward to. But he should really wear it tonight.

It looks like the surgery went well. Jamie's doing a great job if taking care of Mel.

he just twitched in his sleep and kicked me in the butt.

Anyhow, he's doing okay. He just looks like a dog that just had serious surgery.

Comics You Should Be Reading: Captain America

America, @#$% YEAH!!!

So, you may have heard several months ago: They killed Captain America.

What they did not tell you is that the 24 issues leading up to the Death of Captain America and the subsequent issues following have been absolutely engaging reading.

I thought I'd post on this, thanks to this story which ran today on CNN.com.

Writer Ed Brubaker took over the reigns on the flagship title for the Sentinel of Liberty, relaunching the series with a new #1. I was familiar with Brubaker from his work, mostly, on Gotham Central (perhaps DC's most underrated title of the past six years), and had read a few other comics he'd penned, and had planned to follow him to Marvel. I did pick up issue #1 of Brubaker's run, enjoyed it, and planned to pick up the collections of the series... But somehow I never got around to doing so.

And then I heard they were bringing back Bucky.

Bucky was Captain America's youthful sidekick in the original comics sold during WWII, but he'd never been part of Captain America since Atlas/ Timely became Marvel. It had been explained that Bucky was killed during the final mission in which Cap, himself, fell into the sea to be frozen until found and thawed by the Avengers. Wacky stuff, but, you know... you grow up with an idea and it doesn't sound totally weird.

Anyhow, Bucky's death was canon, and for whatever reason I took exception to the idea that they'd bring back Bucky Barnes. His death was as fundamental to the mythos as the death of Jason Todd had become to the Bat-comics. Well, of course, we know what happened with Jason Todd, and so perhaps having Bucky around didn't seem that crazy.

Brubaker's take on Cap isn't so much superhero as super-soldier. Or, more specifically, super-anti-terrorist operative. World weary, but with a certain optimism and faith in what he's doing, it makes for a good, three dimensional character behind the shield.

The plot is not convoluted in the way so many comics can become, but rather feels novelistic. There's a lot going on that doesn't require punches to the head (although those happen, too), and there's a good story. Good enough that, in the telling, the return of Bucky feels less like a stunt to draw in readers, and more like one of the unfortunate side effects of the world Cap's been a part of since WWII.


The New Cap

I have to thank Nathan Cone for pointing me back towards the series. Part of why I picked up the Omnibus was that Nathan told me he was reading the series and was still very enthusiastic about it.

You may be aware that Cap was killed some time back, but that story is just as fascinating to watch unfold. Unlike the impenetrable and winding plots of the Death of Superman and World without a Superman stories, the post-Steve Rogers world feels organic, and as if the characters are acting from a real sense of loss and grieving (which, in superhero comics, rarely means sitting around crying).


Anyhow, pick up Brubaker's Captain America.

2 bizzeee 2 post

Here's something I swiped from Randy in order to share with the new parents in the League's readership. Denise, pay special attention to "Drying Baby".

Mel Report

Hey Leaguers. I know less about today than Jamie, but it sounds like Mel's surgery went well.

Jamie dropped him off at 7:00, and heard back from the vet about 2:45. It sounds like the surgery went as planned. As of 2:45, Mel was awake and resting.

Jamie called again at 5:30, and he'd already been up, gone wee, and was hopped up on goofballs.

She's going to pick him up tomorrow afternoon (we're not really sure when). She has to get some serious pick up instructions.

Jason has Lucy tonight, and maybe tomorrow night, so Mel can rest when he gets home. Jeff the Cat will simply get punted if he interferes.

I want to thank everyone for the well wishes and prayers (thanks, Ma!). Mel seems to be on the road to recovery.


UPDATE

It seems we were misinformed. We can't pick up Mel today. Which means Lucy has been destroying Jason's house today for no good reason.

I'll leave it to Jamie and the commenst section to fill in more details.

Everyone Wish Mel Well

Mel is going off to have his surgery tomorrow morning. Jamie, being the good person she is, is getting in the car and driving him up to Round Rock at 6:45 in the morning.

I am convinced Mel will come through with flying colors. He has had a few surgeries before before, and he has always done well. There's also an 85% chance this will get rid of the problem altogether. So, you know, I think he's going to be fine.

The poor guy is going to have to wear one of this big, plastic cones for a while. I think he wore one for a short time quite a few years back, but I am anticipating he's going to be really, really unhappy for the duration. On the plus side, he will get to eat soft food for a few weeks, which he's not been able to do before. Hopefully he'll think he's getting a treat every meal for a while.

The worst thing for both Mel and Lucy will be that, because Mel's surgery is in his mouth, we're going to have to hide all the toys for a while. Mel and Lucy both love their toys, and associate them with playing and being good dogs. In fact, whenever you come back from even a run to Taco Cabana, Mel runs around with a toy in his mouth and cries. At night he walks around with a nylon bone in his mouth like a cigar, or one of his vaguely people-shaped toys that he moves from place to place around the downstairs.

Anyway, no toys for the dogs for a few weeks. And while some small aprt of me is looking forward to not having the clutter, I know that the dogs are going to be deeply unhappy without anything to play with.

So everyone wish Mel well. We'll give a report again tomorrow night.

The League ain't afraid of no ghost

You know which show I can't quit watching, but which is some oddly irresponsible television? A&E's new program Paranormal State features a team of college undergraduates who are true believers in the paranormal. Not UFO's, mind you, but they fancy themselves to be ghost hunters, but without any pesky skepticism.

Their goal is, ostensibly, "investigations" into the paranormal, but that's not really what seems to happen. Somehow the show has teamed up the undergrads with several other charlatans of the supernatural, and these folks are brought in to (a) assist in the investigations and (b) enjoy something of the limelight which they seem to be seeking.

The "director" of the Penn State Paranormal club is probably just a shade or two away from the sort of conviction in utter nonsense you really only find in con-men and people building compounds who don't let their flock speak to their families any more (for their own good). He leads the team with the charmless charisma that will one day make for low-level cult leader status as he rambles on about the presence of ghosts and demonic spirits, and plays the expert in mystical matters to not just his band of followers, but the people whose houses he invariably exorcises by the end of each episode. As an undergrad, I'm not sure exactly what his credentials are supposed to be (I've ruled out critical thinking as one of his strong suits), but his followers seem oddly devoted and willing to defer to him in all of the decisions for the group. No doubt, this guy is going to be asking them to sign over their worldly possessions in five years and buy matching purple jumpsuits.

What's really sort of out of whack is that the folks who the group comes to "help", are in fact, in need of real help. Generally these folks seem distraught by whatever it is they believe is living with them in their house. I admit that, in some twisted way, this means that the group of undergrads is helping the people in question. I just am not sure a seance and having some 20-year old kid semi-politely asking the "spirit" to leave is what these folks actually need. But, according to the show, whatever magic they work gets rid of what's ailing the subjects of each episode. Or, you know, the people just really don't want the nerds coming back.

Now, let me qualify this somewhat: I watch Ghost Hunters on Sci-Fi all the time. It's the only one of the basic-cable paranormal shows that I think applies basic logic to... uh... ghosts. At least there's some half-assed investigation put into it and not just "psychics" wandering about sensing angry feelings. And I give the show kudos for trying first and foremost to try to explain away the bumps and creaks in the night, and for understanding that sometimes people leap to bizarre conclusions. And sometimes people have really bad pipes and wiring in their homes.

In short, unlike most of these shows, I don't think Jay and Grant, of Ghost Hunters are crazy. Well, I do think spending your evenings running around some stranger's house with a video camera is a bit... odd. But their first inclination is not to believe every hiss in a tape is an attempt by the dead to communicate. But I also don't think they're outright fibbing in order to get exposure and money.

Sadly, I don't really believe in ghosts. But, I would like to make a buck off of other people's paranoid fears. Jason and I have often spoken of what we might charge for capturing and containing one of the departed in true Ghostbusters fashion.

"We're ready to believe you!"

Ryan Goes America

For reasons I cannot explain and upon which I do not wish to elaborate, I can empathize with Charlie in this clip.



Really, Jason and Jamie are, at all times, about ten seconds from hearing me burst out into similar song.

Zero Effect Tenth Anniversary

Join Chronological Snobbery for a 10 Year anniversary investigation of the 90's-era detective movie "The Zero Effect".

Read here.

Zero Effect - 10 Years Later

The League has been asked by the powers that be at Chronological Snobbery to participate in a bit of a movie review round-robin for "The Zero Effect". It seems that the movie, Zero Effect came out ten years ago. I saw it on DVD within a year or so of its release on home video.

Rather than try to remember a movie I hadn't seen in about 9 years, I picked it up from Netflix.

I admit that I wasn't a huge fan of "Zero Effect" when I saw the movie the first time. I definitely got that the movie was a modern-day Sherlock Holmes, with Bill Pullman in the role of Daryl Zero/ Holmes and Ben Stiller in the role of Steve Arlo/ Watson. While working, Daryl Zero has superhuman abilities of deduction and intuition. Off the case, he's a drug-addled lunatic who plays the guitar. Badly. Just as Holmes was supposed to play the violin and partake in a bit of, if memory serves, cocaine, the analog is pretty straightforward. And just as Watson was supposed to declare "by jove! How the deuce did you deduce that, Holmes?", so is Stiller put the position of being both impressed by his employer's abilities, as well as assisting him and representing him to the public.

And while I certainly wouldn't want a "modern day Holmes" movie, I wasn't sure what, exactly, Kasdan was trying to create. Was this Holmes through the eyes of the modern day detective movie? Or was it Holmes through the eyes of the son of a successful Hollywood producer?

The plot/ mystery of the movie is an excuse for the audience to meet Daryl Zero and Steve Arlo, and to challenge the status quo we're to understand they share when the movie begins. Should Steve Arlo give up his working relationship with Zero for the way it interferes with his personal life? Can Zero find love?

What starts off as an amusing premise never really works. The movie isn't funny, and I don't think it's intended to be so. So I'm not really sure what Kasdan was intending. Too much time is spent concerned with the quirky relationship of Zero and Arlo, and the mystery plot isn't necessarily engaging enough on its own to work as a feature film. Perhaps this would be a great pilot leading into a television series. Long story short, its tough to ever know what is supposed to be the A-plot of the movie, and what is intended to the B-Plot. Are we watching a movie about Zero and Arlo or the blackmail case they're supposed to be uncovering? Is this a standard case for them, or is this one particularly unusual?

Part of the problem is that Pullman is only occasionally convincing as an unhinged eccentric genius. Too much of the time, perhaps, he's on the case, and so seems together. Other shows, such as Monk or Psyche feature quirky detectives (Monk, most specifically comes to mind as an example of a detective program which is completely dedicated to the protagonist's psychoses). Prior to that, Columbo and others had been pretty wacky detectives working through convoluted plots. There's nothing here in "Zero Effect" to defy expectations. Instead, not a whole lot seems to happen. Character bits that are revealed skew towards the depressing, but with so little time to get to know Arlo and Zero, its tough to get invested. Pullman has never struck me as an actor of great range, and Zero Effect does nothing to erase that notion.

TV and movies are full of such characters, and drug-addled mood swings may look good on paper, but in a movie where we're given little room to feel sympathy for our leading man to begin with, profanity-laced binges don't really draw you in. Honestly, the idea seems like something lifted out of a completely different movie, as does the intentionally awkward "Zero plays the guitar" scene.

Ben Stiller's portrayal of Steve Arlo is hampered by stilted dialog he delivers mostly through clenched teeth. This would have been a post-"Ben Stiller Show" Stiller, but pre-Super Stardom from "There's Something About Mary" and the schticky groove Stiller would carve out with films like "Meet the Fockers". Honestly, I'd forgotten he was the Watson-archetype in this film, and raised an eyebrow in the first frames when he appeared. He more or less disappears going into the third reel, with one scene which resolves his character arc and a tacked on wedding scene to give our character an out at the end of the film.

Readers may recall that the Sherlock Holmes stories were told from the perspective of Watson in order to give the reader the same surprise the audience might feel upon hearing Holmes spout out an amazing deduction. However, director/ writer Kasdan switched the POV from Arlo to Zero somewhat abruptly early on in the film, taking away the exasperated amazement that Arlo might feel working side by side with an unknowable genius. In many ways, this gives the feeling that the screenplay was cobbled together from various parts of various drafts and that there's never any solid, single point of view to the movie. No doubt this was done to accommodate the scenes with GLoria Sullivan, which, by necessity to the plot, could not include Arlo. Unfortunately, this makes Arlo semi-redundant within the structure of the story.

For someone with so much screentime and who is supposed to win over Daryl Zero, Kim Dickens' Gloria Sullivan is a surprisingly dull character and never feels like the foil she's described to be in the film's final moments (I literally paused and thought to myself... "oh, yeah... I guess she did do all of that..." as Zero re-capped why he admired her so.). Ryan O'Neal is really the only other player, and so in a mystery such as this, there just really isn't much mystery to go around. But he pretty much plays Ryan O'Neal, if you're wondering.

Director/ Writer/ etc... Jake Kasdan would have been about 23 at the time of the film's creation, and that may account for a lot of the problems with the film. Too young, perhaps, to really realize he was recycling material. Mistaking drudging, monotone dialog for moodiness, and Dennis Hopper-channeling mania for Zero as "quirkiness", whatever humor he finds in the inconsistent pill-popping of Zero simply doesn't work.

Perhaps these characters had lived in Kasdan's head too long as a writer, and as a director, he was unable to get the performances out of his seasoned cast. Fresh out of school and with a father like Lawrence Kasdan to call in favors, movies can get made. Perhaps had Kasdan waited a bit before bringing this movie to the screen, the movie would have found its footing.

I'm not familiar with the box office on Zero Effect, but I do not recall the movie doing well at the time of release, and only rented it originally at the suggestion of someone else.

Kasdan's follow up efforts haven't been as serious in tone. He directed the dispiriting, laughless "Orange County" (a movie which seemed as if it was written by the most entitled priviliged kid for other entitled privileged kids.). It is telling, I think, that I left the theater before "Orange County" was over. We had technical problems with the film in the final reel, and rather than wait for the theater to fix them, we demanded a refund and left.

Kasdan also directed this winter's musical/ comedy "Walk Hard", which was funny when relying on the improv talents of the players and otherwise awkward and clunky, and certainly stretched on about twenty minutes too long.

Perhaps Kasdan had originally intended to write a comedy with Zero Effect. Perhaps he even believed that's what he was shooting until he got back his footage. Who knows? The movie begins on a an absurd note, suggesting some dark comedy... and abandons any humorous aspects about twenty minutes in before giving up and plodding to a finish.

My guess is that I am missing something here that has kept the film alive with a certain group of fans. But on a second viewing, there's still not much to pull me in. For a movie that seems to think it has some great characters, they seem derivative. For a movie that ostensibly is about deduction and detecting a mystery, the plot just isn't really engaging enough to really feel like the greatest challenge of the career of Daryl Zero, which it must be, lest why would the movie exist?

As someone participating in a round-robin of "Zero Effect" reviews, I'll be curious to see what others say.

I was going to close the post with something dickish about how the movie had "zero effect" on me. And that's probably still true. But, mostly, I feel the movie is forgettable, and has been largely forgotten. It's never a good sign when you realize upon watching a movie again for the second time that you have no recollection of the plot or characters from the first viewing. It's a worse sign when you are dead-certain mid-viewing that your brain may be erasing the movie from your memory before you've even finished watching it, and that's not going to help when it comes time for the big reveal.