Red River Rivalry 2009

Well, the Texas/ OU game is done for another year. Texas claimed a victory at 16-13.

I'll be curious to review the statistics later, and I am sure fans will have differing opinions as to what the game meant.

In my opinion, the Texas offense played mostly poorly, and it was clear OU's defense had done their homework in preparing for the offense. To compound things:

Passing game:

Whether its due to having an offense that can't run a pass play, or Greg Davis going senile, UT ran play after play aimed at passing for only a few yards. This included when UT would earn yet another penalty or sack and wind up with 20 yards between themselves and a first down.

The issue with running these short routes seemed to be that OU anticipated every route, meaning that our receivers could never truly get open, or do much more than wind right back up at the line of scrimmage.

At any rate, UT's passing game is looking a bit sad compared ot last year.

Running Game

If you give the ball to Fozzy every play, they will figure it out.

The Pitch Play

Greg Davis, it seems you are letting the kids with whom I played backyard football circa 1982 design your "trick" plays. They don't work, they make Colt look unhappy. Stop it.

Penalties

For a game that, at last check, wound up with 215 yards in penalties, I didn't think the refs were particularly whistle-happy. Whatever thought might have once been a part of football that meant "just let them play" has been scrapped, but apparently nobody notified Texas's line, who had multiple holding calls, costing us 5-10 yards on what seemed to be a play per drive (at least), and which injured almost every opportunity Texas had all game to move the ball.

OU was responsible for what had to have been an equal or greater number of penalties, leading to UT's victory, as UT moved the ball almost entirely off of penalties during some drives.

UT's Defense

Played very well. Aside from a few mistakes, which are just inevitable, I don't think I've seen those guys play this well all year. If they can keep that up, its going to help make up for the weak offensive line, and whatever is going on with the 5 yard offense.



Colt

It's hard to tell if Colt McCoy is struggling, or if he simply has no help. In the first half, the line was offering him no time to find a receiver, but whether the receiver was open or not, he wasn't able to make much happen until he decided to start running. Unless he's a threat to do more than pass, it seems like the opposing defense isn't having too hard of a time shutting Colt down and/ or sacking McCoy.

But...

Look, OU didn't look any better than UT. At least not after Bradford went down with an injury early on. I am of the opinion that, had Sam remained healthy, UT would have gone down in flames.

I am happy that UT won. I'm just not impressed at all with how UT's offense played. I like a "W" as much as the next guy, but as this isn't as straightforward playoff situation, and this widely-televised game is going to be considered by voters, how the game was played is an issue.

The bottom line is that UT hasn't had a game where they looked terrific this season, and I remember laughing out loud along with everyone else when I saw the cream-puff schedule Mack brown got for his team.

When UT won the Rose Bowl and took the 2005 Championship, part of what made the year so amazing was that expectations were not for a championship, UT had a rigorous schedule, and right up til the week of the game, ESPN (who is always looking at Pete Carroll with dewy eyes) didn't think UT stood a chance. Getting a soft schedule and looking bad when you win those games doesn't make the ranking feel terribly legit.

There's a lot of season left yet for the Horns to either make it or break it.

UT fans have a reputation, I guess, for being fair weather fans because of the nature of the fan base to be critical. Yes, its easier to be a fan when they are winning and playing well. But find me a UT fan who doesn't find a reason to complain about Greg Davis once per game, and I'll show you someone who doesn't watch the games and care.

A truly great Texas team is still fresh in the minds of many UT fans, and, unfortunately for the team, every play is compared a bit with WWVYD? And, of course, the knowledge that when you're on top and there's this much season left, there's nowhere to go but down.

I, personally, don't want to see UT wind up in another Texas or Alamo Bowl. And certainly don't want to see another team we've beat wind up ahead of us in the rankings once again.

Let's all also hope Sam and other injured players get healthy soon.

Texas Fight!!!

Policy: JimD or Randy?

A thinly disguised Leaguer recently asked the policy question:

JimD or Randy?

Well, this question is obviously tough to answer, and will change from scenario to scenario.  But I think a few illustrative examples might be useful:

• Trapped on an island with?  JimD (wouldn't feel as guilty about eventually killing and eating JimD)
• Produce my folk/rap album?  JimD
• Choreograph my videos?  Randy
• Screen and hire the skanks for my videos?  Randy
• Write the NDA's for the skanks in my videos?  JimD
• Would win in a duel (foil)?  Randy
• Would win in a duel (pistols)?  JimD
• Would win in a lightsaber duel?  JimD
• Used to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home.  They're not much bigger than two meters?  Randy
  
• Is a loose cannon?  JimD
  
• Is getting too old for this shit?  Randy
• Executor of my will?  Randy
• Will be asked to take on my debts?  JimD
• Looks great in a thong?  TIE
• Sends me a constant stream of stuff via email which leads me to wonder what, if anything, he does for a living?  Randy
• No longer actually reads LoM?  JimD
• Would want as my backup when we're going to have to shoot our way out?  Neither.  Maybe Emily.
• I would gladly hand over to the police?  Randy
• Whom I would gladly trust to start a new government, and then immediately exploit the very loopholes he'd created?  JimD
• Jazzy Jeff to my Fresh Prince?  Randy
• Carlton to my Fresh Prince?  JimD*

*Yes, summer of 1997, I watched a lot of Fresh Prince and drank cheap beer.  I was also only partially employed.

Enemy Ace is a Back Seat Driver

NTT asks... POLICY

NTT asks:



1. Why does this blog use a length of measure not officially recognized by any nation?

I think the Yurgh will really catch on as measure of both definitions of volume.


2. Did you order the Code Red?

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be protected by men with guns...


3. What does Didio have on you to give Final Crisis a good review?

Nothing. Any story that ends with Superman eliminating the threat of an arch villain by singing the song of the vibrational frequency of the multi-verse is just going to find a warm place in my heart.

I still sort of feel that if readers could not find a bit of love for "Final Crisis",  they're not seeing the meta-story of the DCU as put down since Barry met Jay and Jimmy Olsen met the Newsboys.

4. Would you rather have a bottle in front of you or a frontal lobotomy?

The Ketel One drip.



5. If the League has an arch-villain, what are the rules of engagement?


The League is usually a bit dim and does not realize that anyone considers him "The Cursed League".  Somehow, as far as I know, I've made it this far without anyone setting out to destroy me.

However, the number of people who find me annoying knows no bounds.


Because its likely sooner or later my madcap ways will, indeed, draw the ire of someone who seeks to destroy me, I would do the following:

1)  be down about it for a while
2)  try to sort out what I did
3)  be down some more
4)  pledge to change
5)  utterly fail to improve any behavior
6)  kind of forget about it
7)  be passive aggresive
8)  get drunk and call the arch-villain and try to see what's up
9)  wait until an awkward social moment with lots of witnesses, and then insist "you never liked me, anyway"
10)  eat a lot out of stress

No.

America,

I saw this ad in my Facebook sidebar (why American Apparel thought I was buying "Disco Pants" should make the evangelists of targeted advertising weep).

There is a slim 4-5% of the age-appropriate demographic that will make these pants work. The same population that almost made Uggs work (they don't, they're dumb), and who can generally pull off any trend to come down the pike, good idea or no.

Much like the muffin-top and whale-tail looks of circa 2004, these pants are going to inflict us with a generation of people in clothing which they will attempt to adopt as its in all the magazines, but which will end in failure once worn out to the Red Box DVD rental outside Walgreens.

I now know I'm going to walk across campus with sad looking undergrads squeezed into these monstrosities on a pedestal of those rain-slicker boots that have to be giving our nation's young women the worst case of athlete's foot since the trench war of 1917.

Stop the disco pants madness.

Enemy Ace Says Nuts to Your Aerial Superiority

Child-Free American cont'd

actually a lot closer to what I assumed was going on in the endless sea of DVD-outfitted SUV's in Chandler.

Stolen from Calvin

sometimes its time for Enemy Ace

JackBart in Baltimore: Poe at Geppi Entertainment Museum

This is an official press release from Boom! Studios


October 12, 2009 – Los Angeles, CA - Come meet BOOM! Studios writer J. Barton Mitchell and artist Dean Kotz, of the horror/detective thriller POE, as they appear at Geppi's Entertainment Museum for a one-day-only signing!

"We're very pleased to host writer J. Barton Mitchell and artist Dean Kotz, creators of Boom! Studios' exciting mini-series POE, one of the most insightful and interesting takes we've ever seen on one of Baltimore's most famous residents. With Halloween fast approaching and with our city's year-long celebration of POE, it's the perfect time for our friends and patrons to come meet this talented team," said Melissa Bowersox, Executive Vice-President of GEM.


Many know Edgar Allen Poe as not only the father of modern horror, but also the creator of the detective genre. But did you know he was a detective himself? Enter the world of POE and follow the famous author of darkness as he tracks a supernatural killer ravaging the streets of Baltimore!


Where:
Geppi's Entertainment Museum
301 W. Camden Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
(410) 625-7060
www.geppismuseum.com


When:
Saturday, October 17th, 2009 from 12pm - 4pm


Map: Google Maps 

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving Day!/ Columbus Day

Do you guys get some sort of default Holiday in November that we don't get? I don't know how this works.


It's not actually a "New World" if people are already living there. Here's to 500 years of poor decision making and syphilis. Don't go to the post office.

Light Monday

Item #1:

Randy sent this item:

Apparently somebody (possibly the California Dairy Council?) put together a Rock Opera about... a sci-fi future in which milk has made everything better. Look, I can't explain it. But if you've got 20 minutes or so, be prepared to have your world rocked.

Milkquarius

Seriously, you need to watch this thing. Its mind boggling.


Item #2:

I think the McBride siblings will appreciate this most of all:

Bacon Narwhal

Stolen from Calvin

Item #3:

Apparently, Dr. Robert Bakker, one of the most famous of paleontologists, is now at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. I have no idea how long he's been there, but I just saw him on a NatGeo documentary, and that's where he's at. Who knew?

I read Bakker's book "The Dinosaur Heresies" partially in high school and then all the way through in college. He's an interesting guy, and I'd be curious to know what's going on at that museum that they landed Bakker. Sounds like they've upped the ante since I used to go there in high school every few months.

here

I'm not sure about Bakker's reputation these days, but the way I was told in college (back in the mid-90's): he was not loved by the dino-community as he had sort of by-passed the usual route of scientific research, publishing and debate via journals and conferences, and instead went straight to a publisher and got his book out there to the public. "The Dinosaur Heresies" title was a reference to Bakker acknowledging that his hypotheses weren't accepted by the dino-community, but he wasn't letting that slow him down. And in the end, some of what he proposed is now widely accepted as theory.

More milege may vary.

I don't have an opinion on the whole thing, and I don't even know if my facts are correct.

I really, really hope a mention of Bakker doesn't accidentally draw a bunch of angry paleontologists in the comments section.


Item 4:



I'm going to get an Aye-Aye, and I'm going to put it in your kitchen.

When Jamie is Gone

This weekend I:

• hung out with Jason, ate dinner, sort of watched TV
  
• went to a midnight movie, "Paranormal Activity"
  
• watched the last half of "Evil Dead 2"
• watched the last half of "Reality Bites"
• slept 4 hours
• watched "The Longest Day" (which was really very good, and I'd recommend it to anyone. Glad I finally saw it.)
• wrote official "nakedness" policy for League of Melbotis
  
• Went to post office - learned you can do all your postal stuff online these days and there's no reason to go to the post office
  
• Backed up line at post office talking to clerk about "Death of Superman" and various Justice Leaguers and DC Animated cartoons
• Went to: Target, Spirit: The Halloween Store, Home Depot, Lowe's (neither had what I was looking for), HEB (a local grocery)
• Watched the UT/ Colorado game with Matt and Nicole
• Hung out
• Re-did shelves
• Slept 7.5 hours
• am drinking coffee and considering more sleep
• Scout is asleep and laying on her back. She's dreaming she's running, so her feet and tail are moving. Its hilarious.
  
• am going to go into my office and do some comic-collecting-related activity
  

This is happening: Marge Simpson in Playboy

Apparently, this is actually happening.

I am dumbfounded/ amazed/ amused/ probably still not buying Playboy.

Policy: Nakedness

editor's note: I actually started on this prior to reading this installment of Achewood. It was far more inspired by a diagram I had been working on at work for determining levels of tech support.

So Steven has asked:

What's your policy on nude blogging?

And what about nude reading?

Fair enough Steven.

To the first point, The League does, in fact, have a policy on his own nudity while blogging!

Blogging nude here occurs only after the third scotch has been imbibed.

The math works out thusly for common reviews:

Movie reviews: 2nd paragraph
Comic reviews: 4th paragraph
Television: 1st paragraph
Superman posts: stone cold sober
Political posts: before I even start, I've usually been nude and drunk for an hour

Leaguers who are into dudes are no doubt curious as to what the magnificent physique of The League actually looks like. Well, lucky you, I have decided to include a rather sexy shot of myself that Jamie usually keeps tacked to her bathroom mirror. Attempt to contain yourself.


Like Daniel Craig in "Casino Royale", The League rises from the water, revealing his form.

But the real question, then, is: Does The League have a policy for reading League of Melbotis au natural?

I was certain I'd shared this chart with you before as a helpful hint. In fact, I keep a printed copy folded up in my attache case to hand out to anyone who springs me with this very question.

The abbreviated decision chart looks like this (the full chart has more than 180 decision branches, but this usually works in a pinch and doesn't require 41 sheets of paper to print):


Please click for full flow chart


We suggest you print your own copy and keep it framed somewhere near where you might need to do some decision-making.

The League watches: Paranormal Activity

(editor's note: I just re-read this, and I came off rather harshly. I'm adding some content, because I really didn't think the movie was bad.)

You may or may not have heard about the movie "Paranormal Activity". It's currently in release and showing at the Alamo South in Austin.

I recommend reading about Paranormal Activity rather than viewing the trailer as the trailer probably gives away more than was wise to reveal, and certainly spoiled one or two of the film's tricks for me.

The biggest thing that this movie has going against it is that its been released about a full decade after "The Blair Witch Project", and to not draw a comparison would be sort of ridiculous. Like "Blair Witch" or the more recent "Cloverfield", "Paranormal Activity" purports to be "found footage" of a series of uncanny events, with a small, tight cast acknowledging that there is a camera on and running.*

I suppose my one miscue from the trailer was in believing the movie was about "Ghost Hunters"-style paranormal investigators, when it is really about a couple recording events in their own amazingly plush San Diego home (the most paranormal thing about the movie is how unlikely both the size of the house and "decorate with all the taste of a model home" look the place has).

Like Blair Witch, there also only about four characters in the movie, and that works in the context of the movie. In fact, I'm not really clear on who some of the people listed on IMDB are supposed to be. I suppose there are cut scenes?

I just never really got the same thrill from this movie that I got from Blair Witch. Perhaps because there's so much less geography? Perhaps because Blair Witch truly felt as if the actors were being toyed with, and here, our fiend feels like he's almost just a pest for part of the movie? Maybe because the thing really does have a "been there, done that" feel in its own way?


hope you like this shot, because you will see A LOT of it

In a lot of ways, it's kind of a low-budget "Blair Witch" meets the 1960's version of "The Haunting", and so in that way, the movie isn't half bad, all while not really bringing anything entirely new to the table. In fact, the filmmakers depend so much on their pretense of the "first person" camera shooting that they clearly were worried more about story or, in many ways, character.

There's a lot of pressure on the talent in this movie, as they're left to practical lighting, running their own camera and behaving like people caught on tape rather than actors playing out a scene. I can't really fault them for scenes that seemed like an improv class from time to time, and they certainly carried off the spookier scenes very well. By and large, they carried the enormous weight put upon them. Actor Micah Stone does a good job, but Katie Featherstone has more acting challenges, which she handles relatively well, without becoming oddly unsympathetic a la "Heather" from The Blair Witch, while bringing "production value" to the movie.

I am not a true horror fan. It's not that I dislike horror, but whatever gene sequence one needs to truly appreciate horror (like our friend, Wings) I simply lack. But there are certain things I find myself liking in horror movies. I think every Halloween I mention my love of "The Haunting", and because this movie replicates that same brand of fear, I can salute it. And I do feel the director and producers understood what makes a horror movie work without relying on a factoryline of teens getting it in a grizzly fashion.

But you do wish you had a better feel for who the characters are, and maybe that's what made "Blair Witch" work for me, but less so this movie, and not at all "Cloverfield".




The League's Verdict: It's possibly a renter, or a great option if you're in a Halloween mood, and you're not a fan of slasher pics, the latest Saw installment, etc... It does have some genuinely creepy parts, even if the ending feels completely telegraphed from the first frame.



*It should be noted that I did have the passing thought that the immediacy of self-documentation as a trope in horror is nothing new. After all, Frankenstein and Dracula were written as journals and self-narration. Adding a video camera may be just the natural evolution of that idea.

Planet Hulk to DVD

It seems Marvel has upped the ante a bit in their animation efforts.

I tried their first few movies and... not good.

Now they are bringing the last story I remember reading and really enjoying from Marvel to the small screen.



No, I do not remember how Hulk becomes articulate. Hopefully the movie will remind me.

Interactivity time: Policy Questions?

I always need topics to write upon. I have just written what I consider to be my first policy statement.

Ever wonder why things are the way they are at LoM? Why I may be maddeningly consistent or seemingly wildly inconsistent? Why I don't drop the f-bomb?

After several years of this blogging business, I suppose I must have several policies in place that I haven't ever really expressed.

What are some topics upon which The League should have a policy, or do you wonder if one already exists?

Put your questions and suggestions into the comments section! It'll be good fodder for a future post.

Full Disclosure: Blogging and Shilling

It most likely did not make a blip on your radar, but apparently the FTC is asking bloggers to report when and if the items they are reviewing are free, if they've paid to receive and review the item, etc...

Read more here for clarity or here.

We might as well take this opportunity to set some house rules for reviews/ criticism, free content and how we plan to handle this at League of Melbotis.

In short, my policy isn't going to change aside from me adding boilerplate. And I'll get to why momentarily.

1) League of Melbotis will accept review copies of comics, movies, etc...
2) We will not accept payment from the producer or marketing company of the item being reviewed. This includes financial incentives, unrelated giveaways, etc...
3) If a physical copy of any media is received, we will alert readers if we seek to divest ourselves of the review copy. We may keep items at our discretion. bear in mind, sending you a copy costs us something.
4) From this point forward, we will note when and if the item received in a review came through any means but our own pocket. We will note format, etc...
5) If we just watched, bought, paid for an item ourselves, without a review copy, we will not make mention, as this is literally 99.5% of the reviews, mentions, etc... we're currently doing. So, seriously, guys. Unclench.
6) Were something really wild to happen that were to change the status of LoM as a free website being run with absolutely no moneymaking capacity and as a complete waste of all of our time and energy, I will be the first to at least acknowledge a change of status as the big dollars start rolling in and I forget all of you people (sorry, Randy. As soon as the big bucks roll in, I'm replacing you with Fred Savage.). But, really... 6 years in, I'm pretty realistic about this blogging business. It's in no way lucrative, and its not even really a good idea for a grown man to do anymore.


However...

What gives the timing of the FTC's decision an interesting twist is that LoM was, just this week, added to become "press" according to a rising star comic publisher. This means I am to receive electronic copies of this company's comics.

Being no dummy, and knowing how some of you like to freak out about this sort of thing (JimD), I had planned to mention the slight change in status prior to any reviews down this pathway, as you would notice a certain spike in my reading and reviewing. Now, I'm not just ethically obligated to make mention, but legally as well. And I have enough legal problems, anyway (smuggling illegal parrots into the US in your baggy cargo pants turns out to be more toruble than one would guess).

Rest assured: They are not plying me with money and women at this time (yet).

A while back I was receiving copies of DVD's for review from a marketing company, and was charged by several Leaguers (joking or not) that I was now a shill. I good naturedly put up with your baseless whining, and I think the matter resolved itself once we reached the "Speed Racer" incident which ended that particular gravy train.

But, yes, it does not take a genius of marketing to figure out I might view and enjoy a Justice League DVD, and write about it on my blog. And, if you recall, I gave away my copy of the DVD.

I should also point out that its standard practice for media companies to send review copies of movies, books, etc... to professional reviewers. While LoM is not The New York Times, as long as I play by the rules and fairly review media, and keep you posted as to where I got the media, I have no problem accepting review copies. We'll strive to do our best to remain neutral with the possibility for limited access in the face of a bad review hanging over our head.

For the record, I am in agreement of the spirit of the FTC's decision, and hope that disclosures are taken seriously. In an industry as small as comics, its often difficult to determine the relationships going on between readers, reviewers, creators, and the engine of the industry. Whether it has much effect on who buys what, I don't know, but there's always room for not being a bought loser.

Fist bump for the common welfare!

Apparently, CNN is endorsing the "fist bump" as a means of preventing us from spreading H1N1. Intriguingly, they point out that greeting each other with terrorist fist bumps will save lives as its less likely to spread contagion than the traditional handshake.

As The League could really do without H1N1, and also really enjoys a good dap, we're taking up the fist-bump as our new greeting.

But not only does the leader of our fair nation endorse the fist bump (although I think when Michele Obama tells you to fist bump, you darn well better fist bump), someone we all like, who may not divide us down party lines, would also like for us to greet in a hipper fashion for better health.


Superman is your friend, H1N1 is not