League of Melbotis

HIGH-FIVING WHITE GUY SENT TO CHARLOTTE

Jamie... I am sorry to report that High-Fiving White Guy has been traded.

Suns trade Voshkul to Charlotte

The key to the Suns' success this season was not the outstanding play of MVP Steve Nash or the astounding ability of Marion or Stoudemire. No, the glue that held the team together was the same mysterious force who ensured that the Suns bench would never defy gravity and fly off into the troposphere.

All season long Voshkul kept Bo Outlaw company in the furthest reaches of Benchland, firmly planted upon the pine a few minutes walk from Mike D'Antoni. When Stoudemire or Nash came in from play, especially at a time-out, Voshkul would rise and high-five them. He also performed high-fiving duties when Quentin Richardson or Shaun "The Matrix" Marion would hit a three-pointer. These high-fives were usually with Bo Outlaw.

I wish High-Fiving White Guy a tremendous future in Charlotte. He is sure to bring a lot of spirit to a rather languid bench and will, no doubt, team his own mass with the native gravity of Earth to marry the bench to the floor for another season.