Calling all Leaguers!

Melbotis (Mel-boh-dis) Perkins is a 116 lb. golden retriever dedicated to Truth, Justice and the American Way.

The League of Melbotis welcomes all likeminded individuals willing to use their unique abilities for the betterment of mankind.

Comics, superheroes, giant robots, doggies, space ships, movies, personal journal, schadenfreude.

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Learn marginally more about The League than you already knew.

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    Items of import:
  • Nanostalgia: Collaborative Media Review
  • Melbotis Store! Melbotis items at CafePress
  • Phoenix Suns
  • University of Texas Football

  • Leaguers:
  • Dedman's site
  • Cowgirl Funk
  • Adventures of Steanso
  • Steven G. Harms
  • CrackBass
  • The Social Bobcat
  • Distorted Veracity
  • Michael Scaljon
  • Sugar and Splice
  • Houstonist
  • Digest: TST
  • Natalie

  • Friends of the League:
  • Pay the Man
  • Dangerous Beauty
  • Razzberry Vinaigrette
  • cbgblog

  • Comics!:
  • DC
  • DC
  • Marvel Comics: Home of Spider-Man
  • Comic Book Resources
  • Newsarama
  • The Pulse
  • Comic Treadmill
  • The Beat
  • Dave's Long Box
  • Return to Comics
  • Comic Blog Legion
  • Comic Candy
  • Wonder Woman Museum
  • Emerald Dawn
  • Superman is a...
  • Hulk's Diary

  • Some sites worth looking into:
  • Arizona Rollerderby
  • Dames in the Media The League Once Dug
  • Suggestions for Further Reading
  • Why Superman?
  • Texas Public Radio
  • Lunchtime with The League
  • Eddie Johnson's Jump Shot Club
  • Lileks
  • retroCRUSH

  • Blogs taken at the suggestion of others:
  • Mr. Jones
  • NFL Draft Review
  • The Black Table
  • Hammer!


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    The League Totally $@%*ing Sells Out!

    Are You HOT or NOT?

    Friday, May 16, 2003  
    Texas Democrats in Oklahoma? Anyone wondering why Democrats, or any sane person, would reject the Texas GOP proposed redistricting plans need only look at this map. Whole cities are broken into bizarre chunks to minimize the effects of large groups of voters, areas are wrapped around voting blocks in unnatural curves and coves in order to avoid any potential threat. Yet, somehow, the Panhandle is a solid mass.

    If the GOP is this interested in maintaining a majority, they should try actually meeting the needs of their constituents. In the meantime, pillaging whole cities of their ability to fairly elect candidates which represent the constituency is as undemocratic and even unrepublican as voter fraud (thanks, LBJ!). Anyone genuinely interested in serving the public would not feel the need to go to lengths this deceitful. By winning the game at any cost, the GOP threatens to undermine the very fundamentals the game was based upon.

    The fallout of this exodus is going to be as hard felt as the ousting of the Republicans at the end of Reconstruction. In order to achieve anything for the remainder of the term, Texas Democrats will have to be prepared for nothing but an uphill battle. They've finally pulled the tiger's tail, but perhaps after 140 years of domination, it's fair to ask them to work for their seats and right to represent.

    10:28 AM |

    The Amazing Dedman has pointed me toward an article in the Houston Chronicle about a man who claims to have originally dreamed up American Idol, a concept he claims to have pitched in 1994 to several production companies in the US and Europe. He also claims that he DOES, in fact, have evidence of the pitches and the time at which he made them.

    As American Idol is widely known to have originated from a show broadcast in the UK called "Pop Idol" (which also sounds like a creepy breakfast cereal to me), one wonders if there is any truth to the man's claims. The gentleman is asking for $300 million.

    You know, I do lay awake at night trying to figure out how to make the big score, and this seems like as good a scheme as any. But here's the deal, kids... when you start making any money, someone is always going to want a piece of you and your fortune. Someone is always going to be trying to make a grab. If you get rich, do it low profile.

    8:08 AM |

    Thursday, May 15, 2003  
    Somehow I have offended the gods.

    Almost everyday now I get a spam/ junk e-mail about getting a new septic tank. I've never looked for a septic tank online, I don't live where I can use a septic tank, and frankly, I don't think I'd buy one online anyway. I think, like buying shoes, it's something you need to feel out for yourself before you purchase it.

    At least e-mails offering me porn would be interesting, but I don't get those. No, I get offered great deals on septic tanks and "male enhancement."

    3:06 PM |

    In the "Why Does God Hate Me?" category, the boobs running Warner Bros. pictures are apparently so distracted by The Matrix franchise, that a legion of 14 year old girls has seized the production offices and is making ridiculous demands.

    while just a rumor, is reporting that Justin Timberlake of N'Sync is up for the role of Superman in the upcoming and ultimately doomed Superman feature film franchise. I hate Warner Bros. today. Seriously. Why is this being allowed to happen?

    I understand that LA is a town in which creative decisions are made for business reasons and a lot of weird things can happen, but I think it doesn't take a genius to know that Justin Timberlake is not the first person to spring to mind when Superman casting is mentioned. This is not creative casting or even stunt casting. This rumor indicates a sad grab at dollars from 14 year old girls. The irony being that this will alienate pretty much any male between 16 and 80. Hollywood must be quite the wonderbubble to live in. Imagine a world where you might actually consider making this casting decision.

    I am sure this is a rumor gone awry, but it highlights the fact that the Superman movie project is so out of control that anything is possible. From prior reports of their casting selection, the script must be focusing on a juvenile version fo the character, which is completely crazy based on the current and successful version of a Young Superman in the WB's own Smallville. Tom Welling, who plays young Clark Kent is twice TImberlake's size, and has established himself.

    Someone needs to tell them not to make this movie until the stupid level gets turned down a notch.

    9:45 AM |

    Mad props to the good folks at for linking to The League. We do our best, and always appreciate a little support. Or at least what we assume was support. Again, as people I don't know read this site, my paranoia increases.

    Matrix Madness had consumed the Chandler Fashion Center Harkins 24 last night. I went to the Atomic Comics to go pick up a long box and an X-men trade I had on order, and lo and behold, betwixt the buildings were many a Gen-Y'er awaiting the midnight release of Matrix Reloaded.

    I wish all Matrix fans the best of luck. May you not have need to experience the same six months of denial and wasted energy defending Reloaded that I spent defending The Phantom Menace (Jim D. can verify my bout with insanity). All I'm saying is that I spent five hours in line to see that damn movie, and it left me so crazed and delirious that I was not in my right mind until I viewed Phantom Menace on home video.

    Melbotis update: A while back I gave Mel one of Jamie's socks to play with. It's totally disgusting now, and I don't know what to do about it. Lately he's really wanted me to hang onto the other end and play tug-o-war, but here's the problem: Jamie has little feet and little socks. Mel has a big, slobbery mouth. The sock is vile to the touch. I need to get out some of my old socks to at least give me a little breathing room.

    Oh, and in order to get more hits, I'll mention American Idol. I always double my hits when I mention American Idol. I don't care who wins as we learned from last season, all of the bottom four or five will get record contracts. Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard need to do a buddy cop movie that takes place in the Deep South, and it needs to be a musical.

    If I mention the chillingly, vacuously talentless Kimberly Caldwell, I also get many, many more hits. I can never figure out if it's from little girls or dirty old men. And why do they like the same things?

    8:31 AM |

    Wednesday, May 14, 2003  
    As our nation's leaders stomp around the country repeating "jobs" and "growth" (which is actually printed on the Presidential back drop these days) in support of Bush's new tax cut, I'd like to take a moment of pause.

    If we're cutting $550 Billion from the budget, but increasing military spending, by default, won't the federal government have to release people from their government jobs?

    $550 billion

    reduced to the amount it would equate to evenly over 11 years (which I think is the plan) = $50,000,000,000

    divided by, say $40,000 a year over 11 years

    could eliminate around 1,250,000 jobs.

    Now the $550 billion cut does not include the proposed plans to increase military spending, so potentially more jobs are looking at getting the axe, but I guess that's where military recruiting will fit in.

    Of course the federal government isn't planning on killing over a million jobs (I think), so what is going to have to go? Surely education won't mind a $9 billion cut. Or healthcare. People certainly do not need healthcare. But our need for a laser armed space station is clear.

    I look forward to a future of stupid, sick people where we've outlawed McDonald's and can wipe enemies off the face of the earth with a laser bolt a la Real Genius.

    How to keep relevant and tie this into Melbotis? Look, Mel doesn't know much about this federal government thingie, but he isn't exactly clear on how this is going to help spur spending by consumers if many, many of them lose their jobs and people are spending all of their money trying to stay healthy while raising property taxes so schools aren't shut down. Mel's also a little concerned that maybe this tax cut will support businesses and people who already have enough money to buy volumes of stock large enough that they actually give a shit about how many times their dividends get taxed. But maybe I'm putting words in his mouth.

    12:29 PM |

    Tuesday, May 13, 2003  
    It's days like today when I truly miss The Lone Star State.

    And Jim D. has informed me that somebody out there hit his site after searching for "melbotis cancer" on it is possible it was my brother, but that seems a bit odd.

    8:33 AM |

    Monday, May 12, 2003  
    So yesterday I was doing the weekly whacking of the weeds with my Craftsman when I banged my head on a branch in my backyard. It didn't hurt that bad. I was mostly just kind of surprised.
    Twenty minutes later I went out to mow my lawn with my Craftsman when I began to wonder if my head had bled at all when I popped it against the branch. Just the previous morning I had watched a televangelist talking about how the scalp is one of the most well-veined parts of the body, but I had experienced no blood loss that I could assess.
    So when I reached up and touched my head I noticed I had something attached to my head. Apparently I had driven a thorn through my scalp and straight into the lining around my skull, and possibly into my skull. Zowie!
    Anyway, I'm here to tell you folks, there are few things weirder feeling (albeit rather painless) than pulling something out of your own noggin.

    Melbotis update: We took Mel to the place where he will be boarded when we go to Hoston. He had to go in for an inspection. They shot something up his nose to prevent Kennel Cough, but it didn't really phase him.
    I do think he'll be a little freaked as he is not well socialized with other dogs. But he is a good boy, and I am sure he will be fine.

    And this is kind of cool. It's great how people make their own fun. I get the knives and goblins and whatnot, but what's up with role-playing the clapping wench? Not much of a fantasy life, I guess. LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!

    9:41 AM |

    Sunday, May 11, 2003  
    Well, I finally dragged my sorry carcass to go and see X2 (X-Men United) last night. It was pretty damn good. Huzzah for Nightcrawler.

    The trailers got me thinking, and I'm going out on a limb to admit something here: I don't like the Matrix. Really. I'm the guy who walked out at the end into cold daylight and didn't see what the big deal was.

    I thought the original Matrix was just kind of dumb. Not Dean Devlin Godzilla dumb, but kind of stupid. Thus, I feel a little left out these days when I see all of these trailers for the sequel or whatever it is to The Matrix. I just don't care. From a script point, the Matrix felt like the mad ramblings of a comic reading 9th grader who recently discovered Tae Kwon Do and Jet Li.

    By the end of original Matrix, I was cheering for Mr. Smith to wipe out all of these fashion victims and their hi-flying hoo-hah. I mean, cheering for the humans in the Matrix is a little like cheering for the cows in a western. What will poor Mr. Smith eat if he can't eat people? We all appreciate Optimus Prime for protecting humanity from the Decepticons, but at the end of the day, he's going to turn around and need a big 'ol energon sandwich, too, and where's he going to get it? Odds are, he's going to be eyeing our precious natrual resources as well. And it ain't like we're using them wisely, oh mighty drivers of the Hummer.

    I'm no engineer, but I know using people for powering your killer squid robots has got to be the dumbest source of energy that these space men/ Skynet folks could have possibly sought... if they were looking for a clean, replinishable energy source, solar and tidal power, as well as windmills are far more efficient and less likely to revolt against you. Hell, a tire fire is more efficient. And all the wasted power in keeping humans alive? I mean, the energy expenditure in lighting those tubes and keeping the people, batteries warm can't possibly be giving you better than a 15% return on your investment. Has no one noticed how much energy we suck up and how much food, etc... we have to consume? I think the assumption is that these people must all be Canadians and are eating one another so there is no wasted energy, but to accomplish this, every Canadian would have to eat like 10 other Canadians a year just to keep going, and in the end, we'd have run out of Candians faster than you can say "Socializied Medicine." And wouldn't cows be easier to keep happy in floating bubbles (plus you could mine the methane gas for additional energy)?

    We've also been led to believe that the evil spacemen/ Skynet control the environment of the Matrix, so why not drop a huge virtual block on Neo & Co.? Or take away the doors when they're in a room? Or drop a virtual atom bomb on them? Kung-Fu just seems really inefficient, let alone sending only single individuals or small gorups after them at a time. Why not a virtual SWAT team, or army? Or PTA? i mean, if it comes down to erasing a file folder or two to get at the factions threatening to end your very existence, wouldn't you be willing to drag and drop them into the recycle bin rather than keep banging your head against the wall?

    As something that can be a big bag of fun after a couple of beers, I can appreciate the Matrix. Other than that, the holes in the plot were bigger than the holes in a pair of Lucas's threadbare Phantom Menace underoos.

    So now we have bad Universal Studios Adventure stand-ins filling commercials shilling beer and Power-Ade. As if this movie needs to find additional sources of revenue. Is Carrie-Ann Moss really too respected to shill beer herself?

    Worst of all crimes is that the execs at Warner Bros. have no idea that in re-inventing the Superman story for the upcoming movie, they're ripping off their own product. The script is about fulfilling prophesies with the use of Superpowers. Wow. Is that ever going to look smart after 3 of the highest grossing movies EVER have used the same storyline.


    There's nothing wrong with liking The Matrix. It just wasn't my bag. Let's all hope it's better than I think it will be (not that I'll know until it comes on cable).

    3:30 PM |

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