Calling all Leaguers!

Melbotis (Mel-boh-dis) Perkins is a 116 lb. golden retriever dedicated to Truth, Justice and the American Way.

The League of Melbotis welcomes all likeminded individuals willing to use their unique abilities for the betterment of mankind.

Comics, superheroes, giant robots, doggies, space ships, movies, personal journal, schadenfreude.

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    Items of import:
  • Nanostalgia: Collaborative Media Review
  • Melbotis Store! Melbotis items at CafePress
  • Phoenix Suns
  • University of Texas Football

  • Leaguers:
  • Dedman's site
  • Cowgirl Funk
  • Adventures of Steanso
  • Steven G. Harms
  • CrackBass
  • The Social Bobcat
  • Distorted Veracity
  • Michael Scaljon
  • Sugar and Splice
  • Houstonist
  • Digest: TST
  • Natalie

  • Friends of the League:
  • Pay the Man
  • Dangerous Beauty
  • Razzberry Vinaigrette
  • cbgblog

  • Comics!:
  • DC
  • DC
  • Marvel Comics: Home of Spider-Man
  • Comic Book Resources
  • Newsarama
  • The Pulse
  • Comic Treadmill
  • The Beat
  • Dave's Long Box
  • Return to Comics
  • Comic Blog Legion
  • Comic Candy
  • Wonder Woman Museum
  • Emerald Dawn
  • Superman is a...
  • Hulk's Diary

  • Some sites worth looking into:
  • Arizona Rollerderby
  • Dames in the Media The League Once Dug
  • Suggestions for Further Reading
  • Why Superman?
  • Texas Public Radio
  • Lunchtime with The League
  • Eddie Johnson's Jump Shot Club
  • Lileks
  • retroCRUSH

  • Blogs taken at the suggestion of others:
  • Mr. Jones
  • NFL Draft Review
  • The Black Table
  • Hammer!


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    The League Totally $@%*ing Sells Out!

    Are You HOT or NOT?

    Thursday, April 06, 2006  

    Here are the results of the last League of Melbotis User Poll

    Unsurprisingly Powergirl drew in a lot of votes. Thanks Steanso, Reed-o and CrackBass.

    Just so you know, Batman's partners tend to get killed and/ or are usually emotional trainwrecks after living in a cave with a zealot for a few years. They also are sometimes recruited by Checkmate (see the upcoming series by Greg Rucka starring OMAC Project's Sasha Bordeaux)

    We've got a new poll up. Go nuts.

    11:50 PM |


    Okay. I wasn't going to post on this until I understood what was going on a little better. Jim and I have been kicking this around a bit today, and while I shared my concerns over the suit, I confessed that I had very little understanding of what was going on.

    Jerry Siegel, co-creator of Superman with Joe Shuster, has passed. However, his widow and daughter have just secured rights to "Superboy" about 60 years after the character was first conceived and millions made from the idea.

    My confusion came from my misunderstanding of Siegel's role at National Comics in the 1940's (taken from having misread Les Daniel's Superman: The Complete History).

    Leave it to The Beat to clear things up in a way I can understand. Read here.

    I'm a little concerned for the Superman franchise, but I see this as a win-win for for DC and the Siegels if everyone can just play ball nicely. The fact that Siegel was NOT work for hire at the time of his concept of Superboy came to print means that my concern about individual law suits chipping away at DC until it's no longer a viable company is probably not a huge issue. Hopefully the Siegels can come to see their legal adversaries as their publishing friends and wish to maintain the Superman legacy so everyone can make some dough.

    That, and as of IC #6, this may all be a moot for a while, anyway.

    10:04 PM |

    Wednesday, April 05, 2006  

    I should mention that sometime around March 31st 2003 The League of Melbotis leapt forth from my skull and into existence.

    Jim D. and I were in the habit of sending each other vast e-mails, and he'd launched his own blog several months prior. It was upon his suggestion that I launched LoM.

    The League almost didn't survive it's first week in existence as I got freaked out about having anything online that could be traced back to me.

    Back then it was suggested that the blog was to be named "The Unbearable Lightness of Steans". A few other names were tossed about, but I had sort of thought at the time that League of Melbotis suggested a sort of team or community feel, and Melbotis makes a great mascot and avatar for the sort of nonsense we'd be covering.

    Things were perhaps a little racier around here at first. And political whatnot was included in the tense weeks leading up to war. There was also a circle of blogs that constantly cross-referenced one another, and usually it was pretty friendly. Of those, Jim D's site is occassionally maintained and Maxwell's site is still in existence, if not as routinely maintained. Molly disappeared into the Japanese wilderness. RHPT finally gave in to his crippling sense of self-doubt regarding his own blog and now haunts my comments section and e-mail box.

    Later on Steanso dipped a tow into the blog-o-sphere, and it's been an interesting ride watching him be fruity on his site.

    We started with no images, no comments and an orange and green color scheme. I have no idea what I was thinking. Google bought blogger and made a lot of changes that I still haven't figured out how to adapt to my site (Picasa and setting up an RSS feed remain a bit of a mystery).

    Leaguers have come, Leaguers have gone. Where is Anne Francis? Madi H.? Brenda? Shoemaker? Molly?

    I always assume people got bored or offended. It's so hard to keep track.

    Content has changed. I'm consciously avoiding any public printed statements of political convictions these days, though I may slip from time to time. I learned that despite the overarching comic-theme of the League, folks were just as happy when I moved all that on over to I dunno. We are what we are, I guess. I wish Jamie would post more. She's really a good writer and funny. Ah, well.

    We've no real recollection as to why we decided to begin to use "The League" as our pseudonym, epsecially when everyone knows our real name. Or why we use the royal "we" as often as possible. Or why we switch randomly back and forth between third and first person. I've heard it makes the site difficult to get used to. C'est la vie.

    And the contests? Remember the glorious contests? They died out for a while, but the Mellies brought them back with a vengeance.

    I now see The League of Melbotis as:
    1) A tiny little space where folks can pop in to kill some time
    2) My attempt to get people a little interested in comics
    3) A place for folks who like any of the following: robots, space ships, monkeys, pirates or superheroes
    4) Probably something else, but I have no idea.

    Anyway, we hope it's been enjoyable for you Leaguers who have stuck around. We're not going anywhere for the foreseeable future. I hope you guys find something to amuse you as you drift in.

    If you're lurking and not speaking up, howdy and thanks to you, too. Feel free to e-mail me any time. We'd love to hear from you.

    If you've been hanging around for a while and I haven't educated you on comics or perhaps even raised your interest, well, then I've completely failed in one aspect of my mission. But I'm going to keep trying.

    11:19 PM |

    sort of...

    I'm going to try to wrap this up tonight. Let's see if we can't finish this thing. In order to mix things up, let's mix and match questions 13 and 14. Will we see any discernable pattern here? Most likely, no.

    Still, not only does this give me an excuse to wrap things up, but it also gives for an interesting view of all of our Leaguers. Read into it what you will.

    Question 13:

    I'm no astrologist, but I love the planets. If I could dedicate myself to studying but one planet, it would be


    Question 14:

    I am most like the following Hanna Barbera cartoon character

    Eric Nordtrom:

    13) Venus.
    14) I would have to say Captain Caveman. Don't know why.

    13) Is Venus too corny? Is Planet X too hip?
    14) Atom Ant--tiny but uncannily strong . . . and totally willing to have my style nicked by future generations of hipsters.

    Or, when I'm feeling a bit less self-indulgent: Curly from the Harlem Globetrotters series. The combination of his moniker, 'Curly,' and his plainly bald head reveal a keen sense of irony. Yea, irony. And I've got a pretty prominent cranium myself.

    13) Hello? Mars! That's where men come from, right?
    14) Penelope Pitstop -- I am always in one mess after another, but come out (mostly) unscathed each time.

    Jim D.:
    13) Earth. There's always something interesting there, though perhaps not on my part of it.

    If pressed, I'd say Pluto, as there is some fierce debate about whether Pluto is indeed a planet (as it does not appear to meet whatever the formal definition of "planet" is). It seems, though, that since the great majority of the populace considers Pluto to be a planet (from their early schooling and memorization of the planets in our solar system), there are those who say that it must remain classified as a planet (since we have always considered it to be such). Who would have thought that a planet could have an identity crisis?

    14) Reed Richards. Clearly, RHPT is Space Ghost and The League is Lex Luthor.

    Ryan V.:
    13) Earth. Yep. Predictable.
    14) Astro from the Jetsons.

    13) Seriously….is this a question ? They’re PLANETS. They are giant, uninhabitable, non-life yielding, gas filled/covered rocks. A more interesting question would be name your favorite piece of corn in your stool.
    14) Although I always felt Shaggy was a kindred spirit (we both liked dogs and eating), I don’t think I’ve ever said the word zoinks. The kids in the youth group at church used to tell me I reminded them of Johnny Bravo. So I will trust their judgment even though I’ve never seen a Johnny Bravo episode.

    13) -Dunno…K-PAX.
    14) -Dexter from Dexter’s Laboratory. I wear a white coat and like science.

    13) Saturn or Jupiter. I read once that if you could find an ocean big enough, Saturn would float, and Jupiter's Great Red Spot is a perpetual storm larger than Earth.
    14) X The Eliminator, the version on Harvey Birdman, Attorney-at-law.

    13) Jupiter (and its moons)
    14) I am most like the following Hanna Barbera cartoon character: I do not have an answer, since I think I relate more to Donald Duck than any Hanna-Barbera character. Are there any Donald-like HB characters? (editor's note: Nothing comes to mind. Yakky Doodle?)

    Social Bobcat:
    13) we're supposed to say Uranus, right?
    14) Shaggy - someone said if i had a green t-shirt and bell-bottomed orange pants i could pass for him at Halloween

    13) Mars. Just kidding. Uranus.
    14) Velma Dinkley. I wear a lot of orange.

    13) The planet I like most is Jupiter. So massive, so proto-stellar, so gassy.

    And it has that cool whirling eye - a gigantic hurricane, that's so cool.

    And saying "hurricane" gives me one more chance to say: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."

    And remind you that the man who said that is a boob.

    14) Hair Bear of course. Despite being locked up in a zoo, I generally find my way into mischief anyways.

    13) Dagobah
    14) I'm most like Gloop from the Herculoids. No, wait. Maybe I'm more like Gleep....

    13) Neptune – looks so cool in the books, all that blue and green. Plus, in the OUR UNIVERSE books from National Geographic, the “possible life forms were pretty cool (although the fire breathing creatures from Mercury were a close second.)
    14) I’d love to be one of the Herculoids, but I’m probably more like Snagglepuss

    13) Saturn. Big planet, plenty of satellites, and of course those awesome rings.

    By the way, don't you mean I'm no astronomer? Otherwise, wouldn't we be dedicating ourselves to the study of one astrological sign?
    14) No idea. Haven't watched the Jetsons, Yogi, Tom and Jerry in awhile, and I don't think I'm like any of the Scooby Doo characters. Maybe the League should tell me what HB cartoon character I'm most like.
    (editor's note: Muttley)

    D. Loyd:
    13) Jupiter. Much to learn
    14) Top Cat

    13) Jupiter, because it is huge!
    14) I am Boo-Boo to Ryan's Yogi.

    The League:
    13) Mars. Because one day I shall live there.
    14) I was going to say QuickDraw McGraw, but I think Jamie probably hit the nail on the head. Probably Yogi. Because of the Pic-a-nic baskets and my uneasy relationship with Park Rangers.
    Professionally, I may be most like SGC2C's Moltar.


    Let's see here. We've got 5 for Jupiter, 2 for Mars, 2 for Venus and 2 for my anus. Well done, Leaguers.

    Ah, there's Peabo, once again overwhelmed with the majesty of the universe The Lord has made for him. Peabo's getting the "boo" on this one big time. It's not just the response he gave, it's also that when we were Freshman Peabo was taking a "self-paced" astronomy course and didn't get a score he liked on his exam. In challenging his instructor Peabo informed his instructor he could "write his own" astronomy text. He did not get his grade curved.

    Apparently his knowledge of the cosmos is so great he now feels the topic is no longer of interest.

    Oh, and Leaguers, quadruple points to Reed-o for picking up my time bomb. An astrologist uses a "horoscope." An astronomer uses a "telescope". I can't believe only Reed-o noticed that. You guys gotta stay on your toes.

    No points can be awarded for naming your likeness after a Hanna-Barbera character.

    Notes of interest: Nathan DIDN'T compare himself to Shaggy? I... I don't even know how to reconcile that in my mind.

    Peabo IS quite a bit like Johnny Bravo.

    I have no idea what to make of Jamie being my small, male friend. Yogi has a girlfriend, Cindy. But apparently she thinks my little partner in crime, and, possibly, my whispering conscience.

    That said, she's way more like Jan from Space Ghost.

    Jim loses points for (a) using a licensed Marvel property once animated by Hanna-Barbera (b) listing me as Luthor. Clearly Jim D. was hopped up on goofballs when putting his list together. (c) Imagining a world which contains Reed Richards, Space Ghost and Luthor. It's madness.

    Well, that's it! Hope you enjoyed. I'm taking a break for a day or two, and then I'll write a few final thoughts.

    8:32 PM |

    Tuesday, April 04, 2006  


    Wow. Getting down to the end here.

    Books. Page after page of words and words. Words combine to form meaning, and, with a little syntax and whatnot, you get a thought. Thoughts are usually expressed in a sentence. Piles and piles of sentences all listed one after another make paragraphs. Sometimes all of these tie together, they put it on paper, glue the pieces of paper together, and, voila... a book.

    The League mostly reads comics and pornography, but occassionally we'll pick up a novel or work of non-fiction. Usually we won't read enough books. This year I asked for some reading tips and Peabo suggested "Confederates in the Attic" which was an excellent read. I totally recommend it.

    So I figured, "Hey, Peabo's barely literate. If he can suggest a decent book, so can other Leaguers." Now is your chance.

    Anyhoo... What are YOU reading? And won't you share a book with me?

    Question 12:

    If I could force you to read but one book, it would be

    Eric Nordtrom: Fast Food Nation.

    Tamara: The Thanatos Syndrome by Walker Percy--so germane to current debates regarding quality of life vs. value of life . . . and the source ofthe text of one of my tattoos, viz. "Tenderness leads to the gaschambers."

    Natalie: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (which came out in 2004, but I didn't read it until 2005)

    Jim D.: If this is restricted to relatively new books, or tomes that I have read of late, I'd have to say A Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier. Here's the premise: There is an afterlife - a purgatory of sorts in which people arrive immediately following their demise. They remain there, in a city that is ever growing, so long as some living person remembers them. (It appears that this must be a personal memory, i.e. the person who remembers them must have physically encountered them rather than knowing them from television or media.). Once the last living person who remembers that deceased person himself passes away, the person vanishes from the city-purgatory (presumably, though not necessarily, venturing on to heaven or hell). There are very interesting observations on memory, nostalgia, and acquaintanceship in Brockmeier's novel. Here's the catch: On Earth, there comes a great plague, which thins the population to a tiny sliver. Since so many people die at once, a corresponding many vanish from the purgatory-city (since many of the people who remember them have themselves died). To boot, people who wind up in the purgatory city remain there for a very short period of time (as opposed to a number of decades) because those recently deceased people cannot now rely on living people to remember them for very long. As the living population slims, the few people who remain in the purgatory-city begin to wonder why they remain and exactly what, if anything, they have in common.

    The book, like most, has its flaws, but it is definitely worth reading.

    Otherwise, I would force you to read my standard favorites, including anything by Fitzgerald or Hemingway, and of course, The Edge of Sadness by Edwin O'Connor and/or the wonderfully melancholy The Clown by Heinrich Boll. (What does it say about me that I recommend one book with the worth "sadness" in its title and another which I characterize as "wonderfully melancholy"? Yikes.).

    Ryan V.: Too hard. So many. Recently, I’ve been pretty blown away with “The Kite Runner,” which I’m 3/4 of the way finished.

    Peabo: The gospel of John

    Denise: Anything that would make you lean a little less to the left. Will send you the works of George Will in the mail as training wheels.

    RHPT: Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent

    Nathan: For a Future to be Possible, Thich Nhat Hanh

    Social Bobcat: Catch 22 - black wartime humor at its finest

    Maxwell: Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. Fast food is evil. Except for the King. He's dreamy.

    Harms: _Snow Crash_ by Neal Stephenson or any of his Baroque cycle books. I realize they are far too long to be easily recommended, but they are full of buckles a-swash and derring-do (and tawdry, ribald sex).

    If you want "literature" I liked Ann Patchett's _Bel Canto_.

    Steanso: The Necronomicon

    CrackBass: Franny and Zooey –JD Salinger. Though I’ve never heard any confirmation, I think it was a major influence of The Royal Tennenbaums. (editor's note: If it wasn't, I'll eat my hat)

    Reed-o: Drumming at the Edge of Magic: A Journey into the Spirit of Percussion by Mickey Hart, Jay Stevens, Fredric Lieberman

    D. Loyd: Ender's Game, though I detest the author's politics.

    Jamie: A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Unlike any bookI've read, this nonfiction account of Bryson's attemptto hike the entire Appalacian trail with his extremelyout of shape hiking partner casts brilliant imagery,is informative, and at times hilarious.

    The League: Go, Dog, Go! Very compelling. Where ARE those dogs going in their cars?


    This is going to e a bit different tonight. I'm going to address books more than people.

    Two of you mentioned "Fast Food Nation". I read quite a bit of non-fiction, and others have recommended the book. Maybe now is the time.

    Books I have read from this list:

    The Book of John
    Franny and Zooey

    Denise, I've read George's column in Newsweek since high school. And here I sit. The last book I read which tried to sway me from my wild-eyed a-political ways was Sowell's "Visions of the Annointed". That book probably did more to convince me that a single-minded view to political matters is not for me than any other single experience.

    I've heard of "Ender's Game". Never read it. Orson Scott Card is currently responsible for "Ultimate Iron Man" by the way. For Sci-Fi I mostly read Asimov and Bradbury, 'cause that's how we roll at The League of Melbotis.

    I do confess that Snow Crash has been on my list for about ten years. Or whenever it was I read "The Diamond Age". I picked up the Necronomicon or whatever it was called, but didn't make it past page 40. It was simply too daunting and I wasn't sure I liked it at page 40.

    Likewise, Catch-22 has been in my hand a number of times at the book store. Somehow it never makes it to the register. Maybe now?

    If anything here sounds interesting, let us know if you decide to pick it up.

    I dunno. I got nothing.

    All I know is that none of these books will compare to my novel when it comes out. Do you want to hear about it? Well, okay... It's about a.. hey! HEY! Where are you going? This is a website. You can't wander off from a website!


    10:39 PM |

    RIP Ann "Banana Nose" Calvello - Queen of Rollerderby

    As you may know, The League has become quite a fan of the A&E television program "Rollergirls". The show features the ladies of Texas Rollerderby, AKA Lonestar Rollergirls.

    One very special episode featured a trip by a few memebers of TXRD to meet with Rollerderby legend Ann Calvello, for whom TXRD had named their trophy "The Calvello Cup".

    Anyhoo, Ann Calvello seemed like a heck of a lady, and she passed in mid-March.
    You can read her obit here.

    10:29 PM |

    Monday, April 03, 2006  
    It's Catch up time with D. Loyd

    D. Loyd had some other stuff going on and couldn't get his Mellie Noms in during the suggested timeline.

    That's cool. We can help a Leaguer out. I promised to post his answers that had not yet seen the light of day. They just don't earn any points.

    Yes, the eleventh question is somewhere below. Keep scrolling when you get to the end.

    Anyhoo, kudos to D. Loyd. He got his questions in. He just did it sort of late.

    1) The person who is always on TV, but whom drives me insane Kevin Bauch of "The Thirsty Traveler". How a guy can be such an annoying jerk and STILL have the best job in the world totally escapes me.

    2) Most questionable release from a major movie studio (theatrical release) Brokeback Mountain. It's a great movie, but when has greatness motivated hollywood?

    3) Most poorly thought-out band/album/ song Ok, Flamesuit on, but I still can't get Radiohead. Someone help me out?

    4) You know what was surprisingly good, but you'd never think it? Ski School

    I... Radiohead..? Really? That's okay. I don't get like 98% of the stuff out there. Like what Faustian deal led to Aerosmith not only having a coming back on the back of a rap group, but maintained that popularity for like 15 years afterward.? Or Fitty Sent. Or Kelly Clarkson. Or Kenny Chesney. Or...

    Anyhow, thanks for helping out D. Loyd.

    Ya'll go to town on D. Loyd.

    11:13 PM |

    The Elusive Eleventh Question

    The King. My earliest memories of the place include collector's glasses of some 70's era pop-culture phenomena. Possibly Superman and/ or King Kong.

    Years later Steanso would demonstrate exactly what happens when you breathe in too much helium and too little oxygen off the helium tank with the King's head attached to it. He went down like a sack of potatos, Leaguers. Later, it would also be the first place he would lock his keys in his bitchin' Camaro.

    I loves me some BK, when I'm in the mood for greasy food. So, tonight, a tribute to BK.

    Question 11:

    Best item at Burger King

    Eric Nordtrom: The free bullets at the one around the corner from our new house.

    Tamara: Chicken Tenders with Zesty Onion Ring Sauce. Get over your pressed-meat fears and embrace the batter-dipped, oddly-spongey goodness of the King!

    Natalie: It has to be the little crown-shaped chicken nuggets. You can't go wrong with food in shapes.

    Jim D.: There's nothing quite like a flame broiled Whopper, although for those of us who live in Beaumont, there was no local Burger King for quite some time. Apparently, whoever owned the local BK joints abandoned them, and for several years, they lay dormant here in our fair city. They were empty shells, waiting for the chance to reopen. It was not until recently that they did finally open their doors, although I have not visited.

    I bet you thought I was going to say chicken fries.

    Ryan V: The Whopper.

    Peabo: Burger bundles (no longer served). Tiny but tasty.

    Denise: -Whopper Jr. No mayo.

    RHPT: None. Every time I go there, I end up with a nasty tummy ache for three days.

    Nathan: The actually have really good onion rings, which are not really made from round onions, but kind of this onion mash that is formed into a ring and deep-fried.

    Social Bobcat: -Classic Whopper, flame-broiled baby!

    Maxwell: The King. He's so strong and silent.

    Harms: Double cheeseburger. Big, but not too big. Tasty, and then another hit of

    Steanso: triple whopper. You don't buy it. You rent it.

    CrackBass: French toast sticks., but didn’t they used to have something with some frosting? Mini-cinnamon rolls. Those were better.

    Reed-o: Coca-Cola

    D. Loyd: Chicken Fries.

    Jamie: This item is no longer being offered, but Burger Buddies! Not only were they cute, they were the perfect amount of food.

    The League: I have to go with the double-whopper with cheese. Yes, it leaves a mess, but is any other fast food burger as flame broiled and delicious? The answer: No. But Wendy's does pretty well, too.


    The Whopper (aka - The Wooper) is a favorite. How can that be a surprise? It's the bedrock of the BK Castle.

    Two of you (Peabo and Jamie) selected the same discontinued item. I might add, restaurants are now serving tiny burgers called "Sliders". You should look into them. That may be a West Coast thing. I don't know.

    D. Loyd loses 5 points for his mad appreciation of Chicken Fries. THey are not welcome here at The League.

    Reed-o gets the "Boo" for picking a Coke and a Smile. C'mon, Reed... you must be eating something on the menu. I refuse to believe between your friendships with Steanso and Griegor that you don't occasionally pop into BK.

    The "?" goes out to RHPT who might want to see a doctor about that.

    Nathan gets double points for bravery for knowing what's in an onion ring and STILL praising it.
    Nat and Tamara are the crown-nugget fiends, which I find hilarious. Crown-shaped chicken. Must investigate...

    Steanso... ah... hmmm... you're on your own, Hoss.

    Eric needs to move.

    And Maxwell gets the most points of the night for redefining how I view her sexuality with a few simple words.


    10:48 PM |


    Why has this man threatened to punch The League in the face?

    And why, with the other movies in his cue, is he also planning to watch "Saw 2"? Does this mean he found "Saw" entertaining enough to come back for a second round?


    10:15 PM |

    Sunday, April 02, 2006  

    Hello, Leaguers. Hope all is well.

    Well, I haven't been doing much lately in the way of blogging. I mean, actually maintaining a web-based log of my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams and minutia which consumes my waking moments.

    You may notice that I have added some items regarding the upcoming release of the WB feature film "Superman Returns" to the left hand menu. Yes, the menu bar is looking like a rubbish sale, but those were the elements provided by WB as part of their "Webmaster" program. Sadly, I am totally awful with code of any kind, so what you see if what you get. This stuff will go away after the release of the movie (June 30th!)

    You may also notice the poll I put up. Please participate if you have time. It's free. If you have no opinion... well, may God have mercy on your soul.

    We should be wrapping up questions 11- 14 in short order.

    The four League-centric survey questions which were asked may or may not be covered. I'm still trying to decide if those will be used for quality control or if we'll be blogging your actual responses. And, if so, how...? After all, I did ask what you wanted covered. Do I actually cover what you asked? Hmmm...

    I do confess to some weariness with the Mellies. A lot of it has to do with my utter lack of preparation. More importantly, way more people responded that I expected. Each post each night takes about an hour of cutting, pasting, formatting, coming up with my own responses, coming up with an intro and, finally, the Results.

    Yeah, an hour.

    So right now I've logged somewhere around 12- 15 hours on this, including coming up with questions, responding to e-mails, etc... If The League should be sending anyone a gift for participating, it's The League. And maybe Mel and Lucy for hanging out with me while I work on my posts.

    It's actually been a bit of fun, and we got through the post I was most concerned about causing a stir without too much fuss. Thank you, politically minded-folk, for staying your hands and tongues. You guys made it fun by sharing a lot about yourselves, and I think, despite the fact that I haven't met a lot of you, I'm getting to know you. All of, with the obvious exception of RHPT, seem like people with whom I'd want to split a pitcher.

    I hope you guys are enjoying all of this. If not, I'm quitting. I could be using all of this time talking about the greatness of Superman.

    Anyway, here's a picture of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. I've been watching the Wonder Woman Season 1 DVD set. I've got Wonder Woman on the brain.

    9:04 PM |


    Time Travel. It's completely impossible (sorry Star Trek), and the very concept drives Jim D. into a mad frenzy for reasons he will actually go into all on his own. Yet film after film and cheap paperback after cheap paperback and an endless flood of comics and Twilight Zone episodes dwell on the possibility of "yeah, but what if...?" Plus, Jim kept bugging me about a time travel paradox question and some book he'd just read while I was working on my list.

    So, we at The League of Melbotis, felt a time-travel question was a good one to ask Loyal Leaguers. After all, you all seem like a mass of insecurity and regret. But you can't really do this right without giving people a chance to change both themself and the world.

    On to the question...

    Question 10:

    If I had a time machine with a single use, and my time travelling would not be filled with all sorts of crazy logic problems, I would go back to fix this one thing this year

    --in my personal life
    --on a more macrocosmic level

    Eric Nordtrom:

    --in my personal life
    I wouldn't have allowed that thief to get ahold of my debit card number.
    --on a more macrocosmic level
    I'd have gone back to the Sunday before the levees broke, and chartered a convoy of buses to take everyone from New Orleans to ...


    --in my personal life:

    Switch actual LSAT score with best practice LSAT score. Come to think of it: Switch out actual day-to-day life generally with best practice day-to-day life.

    --on a more macrocosmic level:

    (editor's note: no answer)


    --in my personal life: My marriage, but I truly believe it was unfixable (if that's a word).
    --on a more macrocosmic level: The evacuation plan for New Orleans -- they should have bussed people out BEFORE the hurricane not after.

    Jim D.:

    First off, I don't believe you can use time travel to go back and "fix" anything. This is what irks me about time travel fiction in film and books. For the literary theory of time travel to be consistent, the time traveler can only play a role (known or more likely, unknown) in bringing about that which is already happened. He or she may attempt to change things or to bring about a different history, but whatever he or she does, he or she will only influence history in a way that will bring about the history we already know. So, on that level, this question is moot. But I don't think The League was seeking quite a nerdy objection to its question, so I must proceed.

    --in my personal life

    I doubt there is anything "this year" that I would go back and change. Really, any ripple effect from a temporal change would need to begin at least several years ago, as my life has been mostly the same for quite some time. I might go back to the summer of 1998 and tell myself to accept the job in Manhattan. I wonder how my life would have ended up if I had taken that job. Would I still be in NYC? Would I have ever gone to law school? If so, would I have gone to Baylor? What would I be doing now? Where would I be? Would you be reading this right now? Would the Mellies exist? Would the League's site? I might go back to 1994 and tell myself to study abroad (or at least, study more at home).

    --on a more macrocosmic level

    I don't know if I would want the responsibility of changing something on the macrocosmic level. I suppose the proper answer is to warn of or attempt to prevent some type of disaster or attack. I don't know what I would do. I would probably just prevent George Lucas from making (or remaking or reworking or redoing) any film after Empire Strikes Back). Sure, we would lose Indy, but I'm comfortable with that, especially since they are soon to ruin that franchise with a new sequel (and the second and third installments weren't that good to begin with, anyway).

    Ryan V.:

    --in my personal life
    --on a more macrocosmic level

    I have no regrets. Or at least I’m not admitting them on my public blog.


    --in my personal life
    Never make someone who has done nothing to prove his value a partner in your firm.

    --on a more macrocosmic level
    I might have told that guy to hold off on the cartoon of Mohammed. Not that I have a problem with it in any way, but lots of people died. Over a cartoon. A cartoon. But military action is not the way to resolve problems, we should really get the angry cartoon killers back at the negotiating table. I’m sure there is a lot of fruitful discussion to be had with people who advocate the wholesale destruction of another nation and deny the Holocaust ever happened. These people clearly have the mindset to reach a compromise and a roadmap to peace.


    -None come to mind. I might not be the same person if I changed past events. You know….don’t mess with the whole “space-time continuum”


    • in my personal life

    Clearly I would fix my failure to win a single Powerball drawing.

    • on a more macrocosmic level

    Hurricane Katrina. I don't know how, but that's what I would fix.

    --in my personal life: I'd eat better.
    --on a more macrocosmic level: I'd help evacuate people from New Orleans sooner.

    Social Bobcat:

    --in my personal life
    -would have called my grandfather on his birthday

    --on a more macrocosmic level
    -would have called my grandfather on his birthday to tell him that i'd just won a million dollars on sports gambling in Vegas


    --in my personal life:
    I had an interview at a network and I was offered coffee and I took it and I was drinking my coffee in the interview and I missed my mouth in the interview and spilled the coffee on myself. And uh. I wouldn't do that.

    --on a more macrocosmic level:
    More recycling.

    --in my personal life
    My personal life has never been better. I'm in love with my girlfriend and think she's the best girlfriend ever.

    --on a more macrocosmic level
    I'd like to record every failure of communication within all levels of government in terms of Katrina. I'd like to show this to the world as a demonstration of why great companies fail and why a "CEO president" is something we should run away from, fast.


    personal- go back in time and get out of my old job much sooner. I kept working there in the hopes that things would get better, but they just got worse and worse and finally I got laid off.

    macrocosmic- I'd go back and warn those New Orleanians that Hurricane Katrina was bringing her own little judgement day along with her.


    --in my personal life: quit old job sooner, taken more time off in between old and new jobs
    --on a more macrocosmic level:
    eliminate dick cheney and or karl rove

    --in my personal life

    Valentine's Day 2006 (don't even ask; let's just say I screwed up on this day for the first time in the 13 years that we have been going out / married)

    And if I could go back farther than this year, the Wilson Festivus 2004 party

    --on a more macrocosmic level

    I can't even began to narrow this down. It would be any number of the rotten things that our government has done to the world and it's own citizens over the past year. I would do everthing in my power to stop it. I don't have any more time to pick out one specific thing (sorry, it's 12:30 CST on March 15th).

    D. Loyd: Too early to say.
    --in my personal life. Family issues.
    --on a more macrocosmic level. Aliens!

    Personal - I would have gone to my plasmapheresis treatments more often. Maybe I wouldn't be on dialysis now if I had.

    Macrocosmic - I would have evacuated everyone from the New Orleans/Gulf Coast area and have improved the levees to handle a category 5 hurricane. This is all prior to Katrina, of course.

    The League:

    Personal - I would not have shot that man in Reno just to watch him die.

    ah, heck... I would probably not have spent each and every weekend watching VH1. I probably would have tried to make something of my life. Whoops. Too late.

    Also, probably should have tried to train Lucy at some point.

    MacroCosmic - Stopped Galactus, Eater of Planets, from destroying Marklarr VII, home of a crystalline intelligence unlike any known in the 4 quadrants of the Faizuul Nebula.

    Also, maybe, done some Paul Revere work to try to save New Orleans and/ or the residents.


    How do some of you have no regrets from the past year? Jesus. That's some serious confidence. Or something.

    I think we're agreed that Katrina blew chunks. As well as Rita (sorry about all that displacement, Jim D.).

    Mr. Bobcat gets special points for maybe winning a million dollars (I have some great investment opportunities if you're looking to make a lot of money in the Arizona Ocean-Front Property business. Actually, that's the plot to Superman I, isn't it?).

    For a guy who actually was kicked out of his home for a few weeks by a natural disaster, Jim D. remains philosophical. However, he was a Rita victim and probably knew to get the hell out of the way.

    Harms probably meant to be darling, but I've noticed his girlfriend is now in every answer. I may need to start making fun of you now.

    Tamara gets triple points for the "LSAT" response.

    Nat, didn't know about the divorce. The guy was a bastard and you're better off without him. Now, if you're looking to start over and are looking for a guy who is a lot like, uh... Chewbacca... may I suggest Steanso..? He's a unique fixer-upper-opportunity.

    Peabo, I just want to know how you would phrase it to the Danish cartoonist that their doodle was going to lead to dozens to deaths and weeks of rioting without making him think you were some sort of loony doomsday prophet.

    Jamie's medical history isn't much to snicker about, and we're really not sure if extra pheresis would have helped. To be truthful, she seemed to be getting sick from the treatments for a while there, so I dunno what I would have done differently. Last year sucked.

    I can also say that, if I knew more than five of you were going to respond, my list of questions would have been a lot shorter. Getting these results up has officially turned into work. When was the last time I had a normal post? Ah, hell... you monkeys probably are enjoying this more than the usual Superman-related post.

    1:44 PM |

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