Calling all Leaguers!

Melbotis (Mel-boh-dis) Perkins is a 116 lb. golden retriever dedicated to Truth, Justice and the American Way.

The League of Melbotis welcomes all likeminded individuals willing to use their unique abilities for the betterment of mankind.

Comics, superheroes, giant robots, doggies, space ships, movies, personal journal, schadenfreude.

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    Items of import:
  • Nanostalgia: Collaborative Media Review
  • Melbotis Store! Melbotis items at CafePress
  • Phoenix Suns
  • University of Texas Football

  • Leaguers:
  • Dedman's site
  • Cowgirl Funk
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  • Steven G. Harms
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  • Natalie

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  • cbgblog

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  • Return to Comics
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  • Some sites worth looking into:
  • Arizona Rollerderby
  • Dames in the Media The League Once Dug
  • Suggestions for Further Reading
  • Why Superman?
  • Texas Public Radio
  • Lunchtime with The League
  • Eddie Johnson's Jump Shot Club
  • Lileks
  • retroCRUSH

  • Blogs taken at the suggestion of others:
  • Mr. Jones
  • NFL Draft Review
  • The Black Table
  • Hammer!


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    The League Totally $@%*ing Sells Out!

    Are You HOT or NOT?

    Friday, October 22, 2004  

    Did I care if John Kerry or W were here for the debate last week? No.

    But how could I have known that by avoiding the debate, I would accidentally sidestep the greatest interview journalist of the last 20 years?

    Click here to download a series of interviews on Spin Row at the Tempe, AZ Presidential Debate.

    This takes a while to download if you aren't on a high speed connection. And if you aren't on a high speed connection, GET WITH THE 21st CENTURY, YOU TROGLODYTE!!!!

    Thanks to Jim D. for the link.

    5:16 PM |

    Okay, you lazy bums!

    One last outstanding call for Halloween-themed stories!

    I have only three stories submitted and cooling in the freezer.


    The only thing scary about this contest is how my flagging readership refuses to participate.

    Elvira knows submitting a story to The League is the patriotic thing to do. You don't want to be un-American, do you? Well, do you?

    Look, I know a lot of you are putting a lot of extra pressure on yourself and thinking your story won't be scary or funny enough or whatever. Well, by jiminy, we think you're plenty funny and plenty scary, so quit psyching yourself out, roll up your sleeves and pound out a tale on the old keyboard. We're a-waitin'.

    The Crypt keeper at last year's closing grand-prize ceremony. He over-dressed and ate all of the brownies.

    The deadline (which is today) is greatly flexible, and we will be taking stories right up until Halloween. But, Leaguers, the idea is that every day when you click on over to The League all week next week, there's a fresh story awaiting you, and getting you in the spirit. Now, that story could be YOURS!!! And you know you've got a creepy tale in you.

    Did you cross paths with a black cat? Did an old gypsy woman put a curse on you? Did you see something which, even after all these years, you still can't quite explain...? (and, no, I'm not talking about The Magic Johnson Show).

    That this is thriller, thriller night
    'cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try
    Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
    So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller
    Thriller here tonight

    So click on over to the guidelines for the contest and follow them or don't follow them. Let's just get some interaction!

    6:48 AM |

    Here is a photo of the guy they cast as Superman for the upcoming Bryan Singer directed film.

    As long as Routh's voice doesn't make him sound like Urkel, and Singer takes the time to make sure he's nailing every scene, I am happy. I am especially happy that they didn't cast anybody under 6'0", nor some flavor-of-the-week actor to bring in the 14-year old girls.

    Singer was able to make two X-Men movies work with only a handful of name actors, and those flicks made a star out of Hugh Jackman.

    I heard Topher What's-his-name from That 70's Show might be up for Jimmy Olsen. Personally, I think after seeing him in Traffic, it would be a good choice.

    Here's to hoping nothing awful happens to Bryan Singer before production ends.

    6:13 AM |

    Thursday, October 21, 2004  
    Hey all, Mrs. League here. Blogger is totally pissing me off today. First it copied my post over the Leagues and then when he reposted, my post went away. Grrr.

    Let me try to remember: I wanted to appologize to Jim D. and RHPT -- obviously I do not hate you and I acknowledge that RHPT had little to no involvement in the Garfield incident.

    The League's post about my hatred of Garfield is wrong and he knows better. We have often shared childhood memories of the cool cat and every time we visit parents-of-the-League's house I can be caught reading old copies of Garfield books 1-10. I was quite the Garfield fan in my youth, even collecting the fabulous "Garfield's Nine Lives" and Garfield telephone.

    What I was upset with was the movie, which is different. This character bares little resemblance to the lovable fat cat we grew up with. And I was content in the knowledge that I would never have to view this shameful piece of crap. But last night, as GCI Garfield struck a pose on my kitchen counter and the League exclaimed "Awesome!", my stomach dropped. Leaguers, I am doomed.

    1:32 PM |

    Okay, this was posted earlier, but due to Blogger working in mysterious ways, I lost the post. So, below is an edited version of the post from early this morning.

    Regarding Mrs. League's protests and pronunciations:

    Before anyone runs off thinking Mrs. League is evil and vindictive, I just want to congratulate you on your astounding insight.

    No, no, no... I kid because I love.

    My explanation for the post above is as follows:

    Mrs. League has always had it in for Garfield. League archives reveal a troubling visit to the the McBride household years ago when The League and the Impending-Mrs. League were but starry-eyed kids.

    I don't know what started it, but I was sitting at the kitchen counter drinking coffee and reading the Lawton Constitution, and the McBrides went, jointly, into a tirade regarding both The Family Circus and Garfield.

    The League sat in stunned silence. You see, The League always secretly loved Garfield (but decided The Family Circus has outlived it's usefulness in 1977). The League used to have Garfield books strewn about his bedroom, an Odie doll perched atop his "Return of the Jedi" bedspread, and owns, to this day, the vinyl to the Soundtrack to Here Comes Garfield (the title song of which is sung by the amazing Lou Rawls).

    It didn't seem like a big deal at the time. The League kept his mouth shut, and let the McBrides air their Garfield related grievances. He thought, at the time, that this really wasn't worth breaking up over. At least, not until he got home again.

    And through 5 years of marriage, The League has kept his head down, only occasionally fessing up to thinking Garfield strips were really, really funny back in about 1978-1983.

    But Mrs. League... Mrs. League has it in for Garfield. We don't know if its the lasagna bit (which still kills, by the way), or the fact Garfield hates Mondays, or that he won't eat raisin toast or Garfield's hilarious fear of spiders. We don't know.

    The movie was oddly NOT a polarizing moment. Mrs. League hates Garfield anyway, so hating the movie was a logical extension. The League was upset to see the strip sucked dry, its simplicity tattered, and Odie not looking remotely like Odie. And the League kind of wishes plagues of locusts upon both Breckin Meyer and Jennifer Love Hewitt (even as he wishes to ogle Ms. Love Hewitt).

    So, RHPT and Jim D, please do not take Mrs. League's moment of rage personally. Its just that you have brought an unspeakable evil into her house. An evil which The League's morbid curiosity will surely force her to endure. While The League is aware RHPT and Jim D did this primarily to taunt The League, Mrs. League knows the League's capacity for enjoying awfulness all to well (see the multiple viewings of From Justin to Kelly). And she knows that the DVD player is housed in a central location at League HQ, and she will not be able to escape. No matter how hard she tries.

    So, once again, thanks to RHPT and Jim D (or, as I am learning, mainly Jim D) for their generous and unexpected gift. The League will at least enjoy ogling Ms. Love Hewitt, even as she delivers a less than stellar performance in what is sure to be a crap-fest of a movie.

    In the meantime, we will watch the film and try not to think too hard upon what might have been.

    6:22 AM |

    Wednesday, October 20, 2004  
    Mrs. League on Jim D. and RHPT:

    "I hate them. I hate them so much. I hate them down to the marrow of their bones."


    "And you can quote me on that."

    Well, goodness, me. But quote her, I have!

    Now, what would draw the ire of Mrs. League to such a degree? Well, Leaguers, after Tuesday night's wild goose chase in the front yard of League HQ looking for a package Jim D. insisted should have arrived, this evening I arrived home to find a box awaiting me on my kitchen counter.

    And what was in that box? What drew such venom from my lovely wife?

    My friends, The League is now a proud owner of the DVD of Garfield: The Movie!

    Yes, Leaguers, RHPT and Jim D. have conspired and pooled their hard-won money to see to it that The League spend the requisite 90 minutes groaning his way through this summer's schlockiest money-grab. And Mrs. League is all too aware that The League IS NOT one to suffer alone, nor in silence. So soon enough, The League, Mrs. League and all of The League Proper will be sitting down for a showing of Garfield: The Movie.

    Watch this space for updates.

    11:02 PM |

    Special thanks go out to Nathan Cone, who used his NPR connections to get me a copy of the story from This American Life from a little bit back.

    The story detailed the life of a Seattle-area man who likes to dress up in a Superman outfit in his spare time. I had actually read about this guy at some point a while back. I think he'd been profiled on The Superman Homepage about a year ago.

    I'm not really sure what to think about the story. I think the journalist went out there with the best of intentions, and did the story as much justice as he could. I mean, what are you going to say about a guy with, let's face it, a recent tragedy in his life. And how he reacts is by putting on a suit?

    But, you know, isn't that what always happens in the comics?

    I found the story fascinating, and as much as I think the Superman guy needs to talk to somebody (a counselor, anybody), he's trying to work through his life in the only way he knows how.

    Anyway, thanks again, Nathan!

    7:52 PM |

    Tuesday, October 19, 2004  

    The League's brother has sent in a true tale of Halloween horror that might.... just might... be enough to keep you from sleeping at night. And it doesn't involve the time he wet himself in 10th grade.

    BUT.... all I've got are two stories. Two! Surely The League's readership has surpassed two.... but maybe not.

    Here's a gruesome tale for your pre-Halloween fun. After not having been to the gym in untold weeks, inspired by, I returned last night. Holy crap, is it easy to get out of shape quickly.

    8:21 AM |

    Is the cute criminal chick from ABC's Lost the new Lois Lane?

    The League throws its support behind this casting decision. It is much better than many of the names which have tossed about in the past two years.

    Lost's Evangeline Lilly

    6:58 AM |

    Thanks to Maxwell for drawing this uneasy comparison

    Sesame Street's genial gameshow host, Guy Smiley

    Massachusetts' genial senator, John Kerry

    6:57 AM |

    Monday, October 18, 2004  

    I've actually learned to say "NO!" With this newly found freedom, its like people don't know how to act around me. Should we talk to her like we did when she was 16 or like the Icon everyone says she is?

    hell, yes.

    Read the letter here, ya'll.

    Ms Federline is now officially biting the hand which feeds her, and her wilting self-doubt barely taps the unchecked insanity which she has been force fed since 1999.

    Unintentionally turning on her fanbase, and the entertainment pseudo-press in one poorly structured sentence, Ms Federline had this to say: My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly (magazine) be your entertainment.

    Her prerogative? And, yes... she did, in fact, just cover the late 80's Bobby Brown hit. Will she see the path Whitney and Bobby took as an admirable one, or the Scarface-like ridiculousness it has become?

    A note to Mr. Federline:

    Dear Mr. Federline,

    Will you please quit teasing us? Please cut to the chase and ask Britney to cut off all contact with her family. We all know this will happen, and we do not have even 4 months to wait for it. Please expedite this step so that we can reach your ugly divorce as soon as possible.


    The League of Melbotis

    Britney continues her own letter, appealing to, I guess, Hilary Duff: It's amazing what advisors will push you to do, even if it means taking a naive, young, blonde girl & putting her on the cover of every magazine.

    Clearly Ms. Federline has visited the Wallace Theater by my house, which is little more than a temple to Duff.

    The League wishes Ms. Federline an enjoyable vacation, and expects that, when done chillin', her legion of 12 year-old fans will have placed themselves in carbon freeze so as to ensure they do not move on to the next blonde pop sensation, nor shall they emotionally or intellectually develop to a point where they may not enjoy Ms. Federline's musical stylings.

    I leave you with this bit of theological insight from Ms. Federline, whose wisdom knows no bounds... Truly, He works in mysterious ways.

    I know now that my knee gave out on me this past summer so that I would have no choice but to stop. My body was shutting down and needed rest. It's funny how the Man upstairs works. Right now, I have to go-- I really want to watch "Saved" with Mandy Moore and re-runs of "Sex and the City."

    7:29 PM |


    John Kerry... madman or genius?

    9:18 AM |


    Is this guy the superhero who is going to fill Christopher Reeve's red boots?

    We have no opinion on this guy here at The League, but every word we hear about Singer's take on the new Superman movie makes us more excited. It sounds like a genuine continuation fo the Reeve-starring Superman films, complete with a crystal-based Krypton and Fortress of Solitude.

    I wouldn't start putting hard money down on this guy getting the role. After all, dozens of names have been floated. But if this guy IS the selection... well, fine. Looking forward to hearing more details.

    6:36 AM |

    Sunday, October 17, 2004  
    Slow weekend here at League HQ. Movie watching, etc... was the word of the day.

    Spent Friday night remembering Christopher Reeve with a memorial viewing of Superman. It may be the 50th time I've seen that movie, but I can watch it from beginning to end every time. Even the "Can you read my mind..?" section in the middle.

    I did take time out to see Team America on Saturday, but I'm not going to bother to review a movie which is already being reviewed so much in so many places that, honestly, I knew too much about the movie going in. As much as I DID laugh, I think I would have laughed harder if I hadn't been told so many of the punchlines ahead of time. Stupid reviews.

    I did feel lonely... so lonely... in the theater, as I am not entirely certain the other folks in the theater were enjoying the movie. Specifically, the group of high school boys sitting behind us. I'm not sure if they 1) understood the political context of some of the jokes, or 2) the trappings of action movies which Team America was having fun with. I mean, yes, some small bits of this movie do require you to know who folks like Hans Blix are. Its not all just funny puppet sex.

    Well, Jamie and I thought the movie was funny. And we have been singing the Team America theme song around the house (America, F**k Yeah!). It's that kind of movie. And, by jiminy, I'll be picking up the soundtrack.

    I also watched The Bourne Identity this evening, which was okay. Matt Damon (MATT DAMON!!!!) is pretty good. And that girl (German-fake-Claire Danes) was okay. And I always like Chris Cooper, and should try to find Matewan on DVD sometime. I'm actually very curious to see the sequel, The Bourne Supremacy.

    Altough I don't exactly recall seeing this exact movie plot before, the beats were that of a by-the-numbers actioner, and there was something complete ridiculous about the romantic subplot. I will say, the flick did leave some interesting questions in the air at the end, so I'd like to see how they resume the storyline in Part Deux.

    And you know who is a powerfully mediocre actor in The Bourne Identity? Julia Styles. Man, there were chairs with more presence in that flick.

    After a two month delay, I finally finished The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, of which I figured out I had only fifty pages left to go (the rest being notes and appendices). I have Theodore Rex on tap, but I think I'll wait a little while. I need to read some fiction which is not comic book related.

    And I watched a documentary on the 1931 version of Dracula, as well as the 1931 version of Dracula with the audio commentary overlaid. Both were terrific. I love my Universal Monster movies box sets. I need to read Dracula as I've never read it. Maybe that's my next book. I'll see if I can find a cheap hardcover at Barnes and Noble. They always have junk like that out at Christmas.

    Anyway, after weeks and week away, I've been inspired by RHPT to return to the gym. That, and I want to be able to crush those who oppose me when I go to Oklahoma for Christmas.

    9:47 PM |

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