talking George Bush dolls have turned up here before. Well, once again, Toys That Should Not Be presents a faithful recreation of our fearless leader(s).

What's interesting is you have choice of your favorite Bush, or you can also get a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Bobblehead on the same page (insert your own Clinton joke here).

small victories:

1) I located the movie: Comic Book: The Movie which has had comic fandom quietly abuzz for a week or so.

2) I located the Justice League Hawkgirl action figure. I had assumed for so long that I would NEVER find Hawkgirl, that I had actually given up. Demand for the figure is high, and the few internet sites which had her were charging upwards of $30. I got her off the peg for $6.50.

3) The new Batman toys will include a "Batcave" which appears to be insanely large

4) The Justice League line of toys will soon include a version of the Satellite base. It's waaayyyy under scale, but I don't have an extra story on my house to store the full-scale model.

5) Superman comics are getting back on track. Kind of. Wait until April. The current storyline is shaping up well, as was the last one, but I'm waiting until April.

6) Superman comics actually went back to press for once, which means there is an upswing in interest.

7) I am not sick. I got enough sleep and feel okay today. I must have dodged that particular bullet.

I watched all of "Comic Book: The Movie" this weekend. And I am surprised to find out what a huge dork Mark Hamill is in real life. Wow. What a colossal nerd. But that's okay. He must actually LOVE being Luke Skywalker, because I cannot believe how dedicated to nerd-life he actually is. Comic Book: the Movie (herefeter referred to as CBTM) is about a guy hitting middle-age who loves comics and has been brought on board the pre-production team for a film adapatation of his favorite character, Captain Courage. Captain Courage has been changed to Codename: C.O.U.R.A.G.E., and is set to begin production as an ultra-violent revenge fantasy, intended to appeal to a modern audience.

Anyway, Mark Hamill's character decides he doesn't like the updated version of the character, and while at the San Diego ComicCon, goes about trying to persuade the producers that they should stay true to the original (if dated) premise. It attempts to follow the semi-improvised "documentaries" of the Christopher Guest genre, but only occasionally does it seem to work.

What follows is less than hilarious, and probably best to be avoided by anyone who doesn't have at least one long box in their closet. The movie is so full of inside jokes, I was stunned the release was wide enough I was able to find the DVD at Target. Even casual readers of comics would probably miss a lot of the jokes and references.

The production values are TERRIBLE. Audio is often messy, for some reason, we constantly see the cameraman, and the whole thing is shot on DV cameras (no, there's no film transfer here at all). I do give them credit for beign able to tape at all in the infamously chaotic lanes of the San Diego Comiccon. But one feels that an actual documentary would have far better served the intended purpose of the film.

What was really strange was how many celebrities do appear in CBTM, including Hugh Hefner, Sid Ceasar, Bruce Campbell, Stan Lee, and a host of comic creators (who are all uniformly chubby). It was cool to see some creators I am familiar with, and it was interesting to see them improvising their own personal recollections of Captain Courage (a mish mash of Shazam!, Superman and Captain America).

For some reason they also decided to add in a character of "the camerman", who is pretty much some guy playing "Otto" from The Simpsons. I don't know who this guy is, but he wasn't funny. And when your movie is improvised, that ain't good. There's a particularly irritating scene in which we are reminded that these are all LA folks in which Otto the cameraman tells a girl in a cowboy hat that "Austin, Texas was named after Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man". Wow. THat's hilarous. These are the jokes which didn't end up on the cutting room floor.

In the end, CBTM may serve one terrific purpose, and that's to send a forewarning to producers everywhere. Producers can learn that as they option the rights to comic characters, they don't own the characters. Hell, the comic companies which do own them barely have any control. These characters belong to the fans. Changing the characters, altering them and adding a "hip factor" is not going to add anything to the character, it's just going to water down what made the character popular for 50+ years. There's a correlation between the success of comic based movies and how close they stay to the source material.

Unfortunately, i don't think CBTM is going to hold any producer's attention long enough that it's going to sway their opinions too much. And one wonders if the movie itself, with it's low budget look and feel, and it's wacky, wish-fulfillment ending, wouldn't end up doing more harm than good.

Well, VD has come and gone. VD is not my favorite holiday. There's a lot of pressure, and not a lot of payoff (get your minds out of the gutters, you pervs), and it's expensive and kind of meaningless unless you're with someone in year one. I am in year... I'm not sure. Anyway, we got married in 2000 if that begins to give you any ideas.

To make matters perhaps less romantic, my in-laws were here and Jamie had a cold and I just had the week from hell at work. And I know this week will stink, so I was thinking about that. Plus I have an exam on Tuesday. So, yes, I was just not in the mood for roses and wine and all that.

My distaste for VD solidified around 1999 when I agreed to take Jamie to a nice little Italian place in Austin called "Romeo's". It's a date kind of place, and we were not the only ones with the idea. Keep in mind, kitchens are outlawed in private homes in Austin, and so everybody eats out all the time as it is. So on VD, all these couples were there and it was chaos and we agreed to sit outside by the gas heater thingy. After an hour and a half wait and ducking an interview with the local Fox affiliate doing a fluff piece on VD, we finally got seated. About five minutes later, the gas ran out, and we were told there was no more gas. We would have to freeze or give up our seat. So we froze and ate luke-warm food. I did get to watch a scene out of a sit-com as a weasely, somewhat grotesque little man tried to maintain the interest of his date by constantly reiterating his financial position (of which, i was quite jealous). I don't remember too many specifics, but he did a pretty good job of it, and it was kind of inspiring (note to self: as you get older and uglier, get richer...)

All in all, I was not feeling terribly romantic at the end of this fiasco.

So this year we stayed warm, ate with Jamie's folks at a local little place run by a dude named "Ziggy", and went home. Jamie says she got me something, but she says it's at her office.

I think I am getting sick, which is irritating. I have not REALLY been sick since I moved out here. Not a cold, not a flu, not a nothing. But I think I am now getting sick. My co-workers will have a good laugh at my expense as I pointed out just last week that I never get sick out here, and they pointed out my foot issues as a sign of illness. I tried to explain that foot problems didn't qualify, but as they didn't buy it.

Well, I can look like a chump. And maybe get a day off to lay about and watch Montel.

Mel is spoiled by my father-in-law who has been taking him for walkies a few times a day for the past few days. However, the in-laws left insanely early this morning. Mel kept returning to the guest room, laying on the floor with mournful eyes, pleading for my father in-law's return. We went for walkies, but I know it just wasn't the same. Jeff, however, is delighted the invaders are gone.

Jim has thrown a monkey in the works. JimD. has spawned a capital idea for a satisfying conclusion to the A Present for Randy contest, but I'm not certain how to manage his suggestion. And I certainly do not want to start handling money. The League is not insured, nor did we get past "Pre-Calc" in high school.

Anyone with a better head for figures, transactional ideas and the law should send mail to the League outlining a plan for getting Randy a wedding present.

My worlds are colliding...

A Present for Randy Update:

Hello, Leaguers! You may be wondering about the status of the "A Present for Randy" contest. Things are going swimmingly.

Apparently offering a present in exchange for an entry was the thing to do. Well, done, my greedy little Leaguers. However, some of the key Leaguers have not piped up. Where is Ann Francis? Where is Nathan Cone? Why doesn't Jason ever pipe up? And is that really Jim's final word on the matter?

Alas, I think we may be at daggers drawn over the topic.

Anyway, I will probably be shutting down the contest here in a week or so. Keep in mind, all entrants who include their snail mail address will receive Vol. 2 of the League of Melbotis musical CD. You can put the disc into your car CD player and pretend you're driving to work with Melbotis himself, but without all of the doggy odor.

an actual picture of the new toy from the upcoming Batman animated series

With this cartoon and the new movie about to begin, it's time for me to clear some additional shelf space at League HQ.

I think it's because Barbie met Batman when he moved to Mattel.

how cool is this?

Good news. My brother has offered to cut off my head as part of the ancient Seppuku ritual! Instant death for me, boy!

it seems that the concepts first employed with the 1980's 5:30am show "Captain Power" are being re-employed with the Dark Knight Detective.

This doesn't bother me. I hope the toys are cool and the show is cool. We'll see.

What bothers me is that they can embed electronic messages into my TV to cause things in my house to be programmed. Leaguers, if there were ever technology ripe for abuse by a nefarious conglomerate run by a mad super-villain, this would be it.

Yesterday at work we sat down and outlined the various initiatives, programs and projects we're going to be dealing with in the near future. I have come to the conclusion that the only honorable escape is through seppuku. I am now seeking a sword and a place where they will find my corpse before it begins to stink.

Somewhat interesting. Dean Wartella has been Dean at UT's school of communications for years and years and years. It looks like she's off to sunny California.

I spent 5 years in the College of Communications while at UT, and I can say Wartella had a profound impact on my life. She showed me that I can spend five years somewhere and never have the slightest clue that my college has a Dean. The School of Communications was always critically underfunded, terribly organized and showed little or no interest in any of it's actual undergraduate students. The Department of Radio-Telelvision-Film itself felt often as if it were being managed by drunk lemurs, with no clear path for graduation or real standards for students to meet. Grad students hung out for up to ten years, and decisions were made mid-stream which screwed crucially with my entire graduating class who was in the production track.

No clear path of communication was ever given. If the College had anything resembling an Associate Dean of Academic Affairs, I don't know who it was. One of the primary roles of a Dean is to seek funding for a College. not once while I was in the College, or in the years following, have I read about any major award to UT's College of Communication.

Career services consisted of a desk with a student worker who's job it was to point at a pile of outdated books and suggest you browse them. The job board consisted of opportunities at HEB and some telemarketing firms.

But mostly, I never even heard the Wartella's name until we were told what was going to happen while we lined up for graduation. I had good reason to assume nobody was actually in charge, because, by God, it felt that way 90% of the time. So farewell, Dean Wartella. Have fun wherever you go. You were a lousy Dean and nobody will ever notice you parted ways with the College.

Oh, and Paul Stekler is a dick.

Jim can wax philosophic on Survivor, so maybe I can be the bottom feeder on reality shows.

The new fave rave at The League is "My Big, Fat Obnoxious Fiancee" which stars a lame Scottsdale girl and a dude who, for all appearances, is the missing Steans brother. Seriously. Character or not, "Steve" is very much in line with what one would expect from a member of the Steans clan.

The premise of the show, for those of you who are above such drivel and will not watch, is that Randi (a Scottsdale prototype if there ever was one) believes herself to be a contestant on a reality show in which, if she can convince her best friends and family she is in love with, and marrying, someone she met three weeks earlier, she will win a million dollars. The twist is, they've given her "Steve". Who is pretty much a sitcom sort of guy's guy. Randi is unaware that Steve is a trained actor playing an obnoxious clod. So she thinks she's pulling one over on her family, and being fairly clever doing it. Meanwhile, she believes the producers have stuck with an impossible dork of a man. BUT, if she can convince her family she's in love, and they go through with the wedding, she get's $1 million.

Yeah, it's so meta, it took me two episodes to figure out exactly what the hell is going on. I will say, it was morbid curiosity which drew me in, and it's malicious pleasure which keeps me there.

You see, Randi is probably a somewhat nice, if shallow person. And like all good current reality shows, this one sets out to punish Randi for being such a shallow, money-grubbing Scottsdale dork.

Last night's episode (of which I actually only saw the last half), reminded me of exactly why the Valley of the Sun annoys me so very, very much.

Randi's family came in from Scottsdale, and Randi had to spring it upon them that she was engaged. Her parents, in all honesty, took it much better than I had expected. But her siblings are the same jug-headed maroons who blast Snoop Dogg from their Kia Sorentos while cruising Scottsdale Road on their way to Sugar Daddy's. Her folks are the kind of people who can't distinguish between arts and crafts and who are the reason the "art festivals" around here can get away with charging $200 for a rusted copper back scratcher. All in all, it was nice to see them being so openly disenchated with "Steve", because at least they were being honest. Even if Randi's brothers are big old jug-heads.

This town isn't just full of these people, it PRIDES itself on being a boringly pedestrian place to be. I don't dislike golf in and of itself. But if you admit to not playing golf here, folks look at you like you just told them you think Stalin had some great ideas. It's bland, bland, bland and more than a little bit boring.

Look, I ain't pretty. And I ain't getting any prettier. So no small part of me is delighted to see Steve, who is also probably very aware of how unpretty he is, taking full advantage of the situation. Sure, he shows some small glimmers of sympathy for Randi. ut, really, he is more than aware that even if he is a great guy, Randi's the girl who's looking for the Accountant with the golf clubs already packed in the trunk of his BMW.

Steve's "family" is also great, and once again, they al so remind me all too much of the Steans clan. God bless 'em. I could totally envision my family encouraging me "to do the Moose", an act which defies both taste and description.

Like all Fox reality shows, the series will stretch out waaayyyy too long, and eventually really test my patience with all the pseudo-tense moments. But I think as long as I keep watching only the last half-hour of any given episode, the show will move long at a good clip.

New animated series update:

Jim e-mailed me a story ona new Batman cartoon set for Kids WB! this fall. And then just this morning I saw an article on the show on another site. This one includes some images. Interesting interpretation of Batman. It looks like a cross between Year One Batman and his earliest adventures in Detective Comics from 1939 or so.

The series is no doubt intended to coincide with the new movie being developed at WB. It's good to see Batman getting out there again. As much as I'm a Superman fan, I've been a Batman fan from a far earlier age. Now let's see Superman out there again getting treated with the same high standards.

A Present for Randy Update.

Apparently there is little or no love for Randy at the League. Last week, I posted a new League contest. I'm a little disappointed that the single, solitary suggestion for a gift for Randy came from his fiancee. It can also be said that I strongly suspect the fiancee was suggesting something for herself, rather than for our beloved Randolph.

Despite some fairly strong numbers, I now believe actual readership for the League is down. It's impossible to keep up with how many hits we're really getting as the idiot from the beer site continues to use my bandwidth and I've decided I don't care enough to get into a fight with him/ her.

But the bottom line is that this contest is a bit of a flop thus far, and I don't think that speaks volumes for the success of this particular blog.

Anyway, I would point any remaining Loyal Leaguers to take a proactive stance and go ahead and submit an entry to the contest.

Who knows...? the very fate of the League may be depending on it...

Oh, I think every entry sent with a snail mail address will get the Music of The League of Melbotis Vol. 2.

So send an entry, kids.

Did anyone else see Teen Titans this weekend on Cartoon Network? It was both completely hilarious and as scary as anything else I've seen on TV in months. And it had an opening scene villain I can only assume was supposed to be Harry Knowles.

But the best part was Cyborg's reaction to the realization that his candy was, in fact, "evil." Dwayne McDuffie is a genius.

Randy was right about this series from day 1. I now look forward to it as much as I do new Justice League episodes. I need Tivo so I can always have episode of Teen Titans, Justice League and Static Shock on hand. Ah, screw it. I watch too much TV as it is.

Melbotis writes:

Dear Jim,

Today Mel was hanging out very bored

this is Mel at League HQ

When all of a sudden Killer Croc showed up

Killer Croc is trapped in plastic

Stupid cat came to see Croc

Jeff says: Hooperee dooperee

Then Gorn lizard man come by to give tips

The Gorn advises: don't underestimate Shatner!

Then other Killer Croc come by

The other Killer Croc feels like a lesser croc, and this makes him angry

Mel was happy for free stuff from Loyal Leaguers


First Nathan send press materials from new DVD release, Comic Book: The Movie

The League meant to find this movie this weekend, but spaced out and forgot.

Then Jim send Croc


Where will Croc live?


Maybe with Caped Crusader and pals?


Croc tired of being in package...


Jeff check to see if Croc OK...

Jeff's report: Jlippy jloopy jloooooo

Batman swing by to give directions


Croc find home among many other friends from horrible Gotham City


Thanks to Jim for making this ridiculously pointless photo essay possible. The League extends it's eternal gratitude.

Julius Schwartz, the great Silver Age editor of all things Superman, has merged with the infinite.

Julie Schwartz edited well before my time, and just barely into it. I was always more familiar with his work from reprints and collected editions, but just a few years of fandom, and it's hard not to know what a personal and creative influence Julie was on so many.

RIP, Julie, and thanks for everything. Up, up and away.

More anecdotes are included on this same page.

Congratulations to my former co-workers at the Faculty Innovation Center at the University of Texas at Austin. These guys work really hard, are chronically underpaid, and put up with an insane amount of nonsense. Why? because basically they like each other and can't imagine not being a part of that team.

Some public recognition was doled out last week.

I'm going to go ahead and quote from an e-mail Juan Diaz, Video Producer, sent out to many, many people this weekend.

"WEP: Engineering 109" took the Silver Award yesterday, at the awards ceremony in the Palmer Events Center.

In case you are not aware the ADDY awards are the advertising industry's equivalent of the Oscars. Ad campaigns compete initially at the local level, and the local winners eventually compete at the national level. This year's national ADDY awards ceremony will be in Dallas, TX. on June 12. The local competition was hosted by the Austin Ad Federation.

We at the Faculty Innovation Center have been working very hard to produce these commercials for the College of Engineering, and it is very rewarding to know that we are competitive with organizations like GSD&M, Milkshake Media, and Fd2S.

Anyway, congrats, FIC. It's a real pleasure to see you guys getting some recognition for your work!

See the Faculty Innovation Center Website here.

You can download the video off the Women in Engineering Program website. I think it's the download over there on the right.