Friday, March 26, 2004

I just saw myself on video, and, somehow, I am even fatter.
By the way, the factors which will almost draw me out to the theater are as follows. The likelihood of the named factor influencing my attendance is listed in descending order:

1) Robots
2) Superheroes
3) Gorillas
4) Giant Monsters
5) Spaceships
6) Nudity
And just as an addition, the three laws of robotics are not the nice little taglines given in the trailer.

Asimov wrote:

The three laws of Robotics:
1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm
2) A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
I just saw part of a trailer for "I, Robot", the new Will Smith movie for this summer.

As a middle-schooler, I read a few Asimov books, and I re-read "I, Robot" at least once. It's actually a collection of short stories, more or less, following the evolution of robots in human society. It's incredibly dry science fiction with virtually nothing in the way of action. It's almost all people and robots standing around talking.

So I was kind of wondering what the new movie was about when they cast Will Smith, because if the book has a main character, it's really a woman who is an expert in Robo-Psychology (which is a complicated thing, and I would read the book if I were you...) But I saw a few seconds from the trailer and it is not exactly what I remember.

While the movie does look exciting, and I seem to vaguely remember a scene somewhat like the robot interrogation sequence, it's not I, Robot. I think. it's been a decade or so since I read the book. At best, it looks as if they took a very short story and expanded it into the world's biggest class action law suit. I know they were trying to avoid remaking Bicentennial Man, and that should be applauded. If nothing else, the new movie inspires me to re-read I, Robot AND to see the movie for comparison (because robots will always get me into the theaters. I saw Lost in Space twice, even though I hated it the first time).

You can view the trailer for I, Robot here.

You can buy the book here.

I wonder if the producers read Caves of Steel, because that would actually make a cool movie.

There was actually a great story (and maybe it was in I, Robot) about a robot telling his robopsychologist about a dream he had in which he was wearing sungod robes and telling somebody "let my people go!"
It's probably hip not to like Dilbert because he reached such levels of popularity a few years ago, but I like Dilbert, even if I am not an avid follower.

I also like Dedman, and I DO read Dedman everyday.

But I am not the one who sent Jim the very expensive Dilbert print from New York. I considered saying it was me so Jim would feel I am spontaneous and generous, but, Leaguers, that's not very truthful.

Jim and I put on our detective caps and tried to figure out who sent him the gift. I rattled off a list of names who i thought it might be, and Jim was surprised I knew any of his friends. Apparently he was unaware that I follow his exploits everyday.

It is very mysterious. Does Jim have a secret admirer?

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Meanwhile, at the Phoenix airport....

Who knew so much excitement happened mere miles from the office...
Superman and Batman try to enjoy the birthday get-together at League HQ.

Today is Jamie's 29th birthday. Today Jamie has flung around Sol 29 times and is gathering momentum to try the ride once more.

We both slept in a little bit today, we opened presents and that was it. Doesn't seem like very fair compensation for doing the whole damn thing 29 times.

Her buddy Heather is going to arrive from Austin via aeroplane tomorrow. Should be fun. We saw Heather at Christmas, but folks very infrequently visit Mr. House due to its inconvenient location. (actually, a mad shout out to Jill H-W for her recent foray into the desert).

So I hope Jamie has a good birthday. It's hard to give good birthdays, but you have to try. I would hate for Jamie to think back next year while passing "Go!" and think, "What DID I do last year...?" But I am certain that will be the case.

I have added yet another person to the blogroll. Welcome to the blogroll. I am losing track, but I believe the author is another pal of Jim's. This one, in particular, I think may be nothing more than a figment of Jim's imagination as I first encountered him as a character in Jim's screenplay.

These things happen. My cat sprang from a bad dream I had after eating a box of Girl Scout cookies before bedtime. (They were Samoas, and it was worth it).

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

James Bond fans, rejoice.
Sorry for the lack of posting today. I was involved with a presentation all day.

Now I am tired. I kind of want to lay down. It's been a while since I had to be around an all day presentation like this, and as exhausting as they are to sit thru, they are even less fun to set up and try to keep everyone happy.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

I also absolutely cannot take credit for this link. I'm swiping it off Molly's page.

Just in time for Passover, it's Bag o' Plagues! (you know... for kids!)
Molly joins us from her current locale of Osaka, Japan to join in on the fun with latex faces. I don't know if this is better or worse.

You know, I'm a hip, open minded guy. I may not play ball the way you do, but I'm not going to criticize your game. Still, this gives me the willies. It seriously does seem like something out of a Vincent Price movie.

But, speaking of creepy, dead-looking, latex faces.... Randy sends this bit of disturbing infotainment.

Monday, March 22, 2004

dude looks like a lady. Like a dead, plasticized lady.

I'm not sure I want to know how Randy learned of this particular little corner of the blackest pits of the human psyche... but he seemed to know about it somehow. Of course, I always have a hard time explaining that I know what furries are without somehow implicating myself (I like to dress up as Ollie the Octopus).

But take a look here and feel a chill in the darkest reaches of your soul. You cannot tell me these guys aren't out realizing a Vincent Price movie in their spare time.

The new Wayans brother movie is a whole separate issue, and may spawn it's own Jim and Randy review here on this site.
Finally located where and when I linked to Beer Bong image.

I hope my July 28th, 2003 posting held no special place in anybody's heart. It's going to be altered and/ or erased.
Here is the URL for the image which apparently links to THe League, which is mucking me up.

Now it's been at least five years since I even thought about writing a line of html. My last web page involved spinning lava lamps and other fun stuff. So, yeah. Anyway, if anybody has any idea what to do, let me know.

My big fear is that the image is buried deep in the bowels of the archives of this site, and after a year of blatherings, it's going to be a bear to find the image and try to eradicate it.

Your help will be rewarded with a Melly Award.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Hey, is anyone reading The League?

Sitemeter is now utterly useless due to this tool who is somehow swiping my badwidth. Somehow he's linked this image to The League or something. I'm not really clear on how that works, honestly. I'm kind of hands-off in the world of the internet. I make content, I don't administer it.

I contacted who hosts The LEague. I said "Hey, this dillweed is somehow using my site to post pictures or something." And they said "Tough nuts. We don't resolve problems like this." Which makes me feel the money I put down for this site was probably not worth it.

Further, nobody responds to my requests anymore (maybe three or four of you) which leads me to believe readership is WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY down. So, this is my SOS.

I repeat: ss anyone reading The League? If you are, just shoot me an e-mail from the link over there to let me know.

<---------------------------- look for E-mail Melbotis

I'd like to know who the audience is and if everyone has abandoned ship. I'm also curious to hear what you'd like to see detailed within these pages. I'm running dry, man.
I want for nothing more than to read Jim D's review of Garfield, the Movie.

There's something about the movie, the trailers, the casting... the very... I don't know. I can't put it into words, but my brain is locked in morbid fascination with Garfield the Movie. It's the same fascination which drove me to the same theater twice in the same day to see two awful movies: Dungeons & Dragons and Dracula 2000. It's how I saw "Cats & Dogs", "Pokemon: The Movie", "Man's Best Friend", "Power Rangers: The Movie", "Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course", "Street Fighter: The Movie", "Mortal Kombat: The Movie", "Cutthroat Island", "Underworld", virtually every Arnie movie, and "American Cyborg: Steel Warrior" all in the theater.

There's something about horrid, horrid movies which fires the imagination. There's something about the half-assed lack of artistry which drives me to the theater to see exactly how little the creators have done. We all have a little Ignatius J. Reilly in us, I suppose.

Randy has volunteered, and so Randy will be heard within these pages. But there's something about Jim that leads me to believe, Jim simply does not dwell in a plane of existence where Garfield, the Movie is seen by the likes of his eyes.

I am offering Jim the cost of a ticket, a soda and a tub of popcorn. I will even offer up the cost of gas for his vehicle.

I just want 500 words on Garfield the Movie. Is that too much to ask for? Is it?

I fear it is.

A foretaste of the feast to come.