Saturday, January 31, 2009

This should drive Jason nuts...

Everyone in this video has never kissed a girl.

Note how everyone speaks in comic cliches to the point where its clear, they have no idea what they're really saying... It's an odd mish-mash of comic thought captions, Batman quotes, and poorly rehearsed, awkwardly presented, badly penned heroic platitudes. The stuff you gloss over on the page when you know you're reading substandard dialog, etc...

Every once in a while I give Reals (Real Life Superheroes) a mention on this site. Let me be clear: I'm not about to put on a cape and mask and go out to try to confront the dude going through the DT's in front of Walgreen's. I don't find this to be a particularly useful idea, or an effective one, but I do find it fascinating.

Here's a guy who challenged The Real Superheroes.

This guy could be a real menace to The Reals, but first he's going to need to secure permission to borrow his Grammy's car

What's unreal is how many of these guys there seem to be once you search "RLSH" on YouTube. And that the videos are uniformly awful.

I kind of appreciate that these folks seem to basically realize that the best they can do is offer volunteer work, but I'm not sure why the masks and capes... The people at the city food pantry would probably prefer if they had your real name and did not have to refer to you as Dark Vengeance Monger.

And I don't even know what to say about this video:

The video is literally 10 minutes of moment after moment of soul-crushing awfulness.

The video is pretty long, but, seriously, I only WISH I could come up with this stuff. There's a feature film in here somewhere.

So, yeah, these guys are pretty much the numb-nuts you thought they were. FFWD to the 8:00 mark if you need an example.

So what can you do to join (because I know Michael is already wondering)?

I have no idea. But here's a website. I tip my hat their direction, only because the suggestions listed for activities are (a) not likely to get anyone killed, and (b) might actually be beneficial (even if by accident) to somebody, somewhere.

EDIT: For some reason the comments link has disappeared. To see comments, please click on the title of the post and scroll down.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Who was Watching the Watchmen's Licensing Dept?

I wrote about all this coming not but a week ago.

The comics blogosphere is abuzz about these Halloween costumes from Watchmen.

I think Horus and JMD need to team up and goes as Ozymandias and Dr. Manhattan this year. Alan Moore must be laughing himself to death. I just hope Gibbons winds up with a gold house and a rocket car out of all this.

Well, the guy in the Nite Owl suit actually looks a bit more like the one in the comic than the fellow in the rubber thing in the movie.

The manufacturer has no idea what this movie is about, do they?

And for those of you wanting to go as either Super Dork or Drunk Nascar SuperFan, are you in luck!

There's something so totally off about the availability of a Comedian costume, it enters into the sublime...

I can't wait for your kids to start demanding their very own Comedian action figures. Sadly, I can't speak to why its kind of messed up without giving away major parts of the plot, but... yeah. You might want to see the movie before getting your kids jazzed about Comedian bedsheets and an Ozymandias role-play set.

Look, Watchmen was one of two comics that sort of made comics unsafe for young children. The general populace got a glimpse of that this last summer with Dark Knight, and just as Batman and Watchmen were responsible for a sea change in how we think of superheroes in 1986 for comic fans, they're poised to do it again for the general audience.

I sort of expect there are going to be the same outraged parents groups insisting that superheroes are for kids, so how could you do this? And that's okay, but... you know, they still have plenty of superhero stuff that's safe for your kids. You just might need to be a bit more vigilant about what they read and watch.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Few Points on the Previous Post

So, this whole "getting blasted by the past" bit is turning into something of a Rorschach test.

I do feel the need to go on the record about a few items.

Most importantly: I think Lesley has a much better sense of humor about this whole ordeal than I really gave her credit for in the post. I didn't want to dwell too much on our actual conversation in the post, and I confess to being thrown into a bit of a tizzy, so I may have highlighted some of the wrong points. So credit where credit is due.


1) I did send "Lesley" a written apology. Give me some credit, people.
2) I do not expect a response. Nor would I. Expecting a response assumes she would give a rip about me after all these years, which I would think she would not. I don't usually expect any response when I send off a Facebook request to begin with.
3) I did not intend the post as a "woe is me, someone does not like me" thing.
4) I am just (a) surprised at the turn of events, and (b) a little embarrassed about the whole thing. And I usually feel like the best way to deal with embarrassment is to share.
5) I should mention that the entire conversation described with Jason and Jamie was part of a much larger conversation in which I was bemoaning the fact that I'd "lost my edge". The snippet you read was intended to impart a moment when a recent life lesson was learned which was then applied, whether I liked it or not. Jason was not just sitting around thinking of ways to shatter memories of a happy childhood.
6) I certainly did not mean the post as a way to extend an olive branch in some faint hope that Lesley would discover it. That's giving me a lot of credit for a fairly complicated plan that I don't really have the capacity to plot out.
Also, that's sort of weird, so... no.
7) Sadly, I am not Lesley's "friend" as of this writing. The dream of reconciliation is gone.
8) Before we go off the rails imagining The League pantsing people, rat-tailing skinny kids in the showers, and lurking about taking people's lunch money, I do not believe that was the case. I think I was just really, really annoying. Like being stuck in elevator with Rip Taylor for eight hours. It's amusing for the first two minutes, and then...

Anyway, it's been an interesting exercise. I appreciate the feedback.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The League realizes maybe he's not such a great guy

So today I stumbled across a familiar face from grade school on Facebook.

I hadn't spoken to this person, whom I shall call "Lesley", since 9th grade, as best I can recollect. We'd lived about three streets apart while I was growing up in Austin, had been in classes together in Elementary School, attended Middle School together, and had art together in 9th grade (possibly more classes, but I recall Lesley in the art class).

With such camraderie during our tender, formative years, and with the lunch hour of 5th grade to wax rhapsodic about, I sent Lesley a friend request.

It seems that while I have fond memories of Lesley, the feeling is not mutual. In fact, it seems Lesley's memories are of a person who was a bit of a thug to her for several years of her adolesence and for whom she feels a bit bitter.

I know. You're thinking, "League, you're totally an awesome guy. How can this be?"

Oddly, just a few weeks ago I was complaining to Jason and Jamie that I used to find more things funny, that I'd lost my edge and sense of humor.
"If you mean being a jack-ass," Jason nodded, "Then okay."
I was horrified. "Sir," I said. "Clearly you have your facts wrong, and I demand satisfaction."
"You, my friend, were a rotten little punk growing up."
"You've clearly mistaken me with someone else," I insisted.
And then he unspooled a whole reel of outtakes from my teenage years which, while interesting stuff for the DVD extras, don't really fit in too well with the narrative I'm working with here at The League.
"You and your little crew were a bunch of snot-nosed punks," he concluded. Which was not the same conclusion I'd come to regarding my youth, but few would not find his evidence compelling.
"People knew we were kidding," I dismissed the accusations with a wave of the hand.
"Did they?"
My brow furrowed. Upon reflection, it did seem possible that making someone cry wasn't particularly funny to everyone involved.

And so it came that, while I do not believe I ever made Lesley cry, I did not make the relatively awful experience of middle and high school any better. In fact, it seems, your faithful League is in no way remembered fondly by his former busmate. And yet, somehow, Steanso IS remembered fondly, which I think is a scam.

I put it to you, Leaguers... Is it possible that I am not the absolutely gallant person, friend to the children, and kind hearted servant of the people that I think I am?

Could this be?

Well, apparently, yes. Some evidence suggests, I'm a big old jerk when given the chance.

So now I feel terrible. Growing up in suburbia has its pitfalls to begin with. I'd walked around thinking nothing but good things about Lesley for two decades, while, it seems, not so much love was coming back The League's way.

Tragically, as I remember it, part of what Lesley felt to be harassment, I recall as good natured heckling, feeling she was in on the whole gag, playing the straightman to my wise-cracking self. Not so.

How The League saw things

How "Lesley" saw things...

I want to be clear. I didn't break Lesley's glasses or anything.* I did once blackmail her into making me and Peabo lemonade. And, I know I'd picked a not-so-great nickname for her which I will not relate (but it was always meant with love). And, I am sure, as we shared a bus stop, I came up with all sorts of awful ways to make the fifteen - thirty minutes per day waiting for the cheese to sweep us away something that was not to be looked forward to. You can't expect everyone to love spending time with me.

But, honestly, I'm horrified at this turn of events and am a bit ashamed.

So, now I tiptoe a delicate line.

Does The League put forth an effort to make amends and set right 20 years of bad feeling, or do we merely leave Lesley to her peaceful life, free of The League and his nagging insistence that we can all be pals? Can The League set things right?

And who else is walking around with a less than loving memory of The League? And how can I make amends to those folk? HOW?

Only time, and Facebook, will tell.

*That was some other kid whose glasses I broke.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Leaguer Questionnaire

I have nothing, once again, so it's Leaguer Interactivity Time.

Answer via e-mail or in the comments. Anonymous comments will be deleted.

1) Kate Winslet or Cate Blanchett?

2) What song are you listening to on repeat these days?

3) Matt Damon or Daniel Craig?

4) Ninja or Samurai?

5) Are we being visited by intelligent extra-terrestrials? Why or why not?

6) Would you go see a new Conan movie? And would you be more or less likely to see it if they cast the Governor of California upon his exit from office?

7) Cardinals or Steelers?

8) If Jamie were to become a rapper, what would her name be? If she were a Dungeons & Dragons character (let's say an 11th level Fighter with a -1 Armor Class)?

9) What's at your house from Netflix right now? (if no Netflix, what will you most likely rent/ watch on InDemand next?)

10) Which animal do you get a little giddy at seeing at the zoo?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Superman distracted me

No blog post. I've been watching old George Reeves Superman episodes.

Also, Lucy is sick. Wish her well.

There's this, which, you know... I guess that's the wisdom of Solomon for you.

And Dave Campbell tells of a mysterious incident involving his Subaru Legacy and Party City streamers.

And, as I have no content, I shall post a picture of Lynda Carter.

Lynda Carter is beginning to suspect you are up to no good.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Wary of Watchmen

Here's my latest at Comic Fodder.

Friday Night Lights

By the way, the really nice restaurant that the Garrity's took Tim Riggins to in this week's episode was Green Pastures, where Jamie and I got married.

I always like seeing Austin landmarks on the show, even when its a little distracting. That was particularly a good one. (Janine Turner, on as a guest start, ordered the same thing I had last time I was there.)

Back from Houston/ Here's some of those tapes

Jamie, Lucy and I went to Houston over the weekend to visit with my grandfather. He was feeling better this weekend than he has in a while, so it turned out to be a good time to visit. I was pleased to see how nice his assisted living facility had so many amenities.

It's an odd sort of communal living, and while I understand 100% why they have it for older folks, man... you'd think a bunch of apartments with a sort of cafeteria for non-older folks might sell, too. If anyone wants in on my idea for a unique development project, send me a note.

Here's Jamie and Lucy sitting on the bed in my old room. A rare occurrence for Lucy to actually look at the camera.

I forgot to take a picture or two of my grandfather, which is actually why I stuck the camera in my pocket. But since we were on the topic...

Here's a small portion of my tape collection left at my parents' house from yesteryear. A lot of my tapes went to college with me, and so a lot of the cases were actually empty. I had a few other tape containers as well, but I have not a clue what became of those cases/ tapes/ etc...

I actually found some of those tapes that I was talking about in my last post.

As well as many that I was slightly less excited about.

And some I probably should have mentioned but did not.