Not Exactly a Crisis on Multiple Worlds

So one of the things that makes DC Comics a bit tough to get used to is the fact that the stories of DC Comics don't take place on just one plane of reality. In Flash #123, it was revealed that there was a parallel world to Flash's own where time was running slower. This enabled Barry Allen to team up with the original Flash (Jay Garrick).

Later, it was revealed that there were an INFINITE number of other earths that Superman, Flash and Co. could visit. One Earth might be a place where Superman and Co. are evil villains. Another might be a world where everyone is a cute, talking animal. Another might be a world where the Nazis won. Pretty typical sci-fi boilerplate by today's standards, I think...

That idea was kicked to the curb for about twenty years, but recently made something of a comeback as, really , hopping between dimensions and discovering evil images of yourself, (a la Star Trek's "Mirror, Mirror") is an idea comics just love coming back to, as well as just throwing our heroes into worlds where things are a bit off from the everyday.

Anyhow, I bring this up because any time Jamie is out of town for more than a day, I am sort of left wondering "what if"? What if, for some reason, I were left to my own devices?

At this point, I've now been with Jamie my entire adult life. We started dating 13 years ago this month. At 33, that's officially more than 1/3rd of my life. So I really have no perspective on what life would have been like had Jamie and never started dating.*

So, what is Ryan of Earth 2 like?

Would I be living in Austin? Would I have followed my current career path (such as it's been the last year)? I can say that I made a decision to stay in Austin when graduating college rather than heading to NYC or LA (with film degree in hand) based partially on a sudden disinterest in film (I had visions of historical documentary and wanted to try for grad programs), and partially because Jamie and I were making long-term sorts of plans.

So unless you can peer into the crystal ball, it's impossible to know what would have become of me. Obviously when Jamie goes away for a few days, she's still coming home again (I hope) and, tellingly, we call each other multiple times each day when we're apart. So I don't think about some imaginary lady or something who would be around if Jamie were not (but I think it's safe assume I would now be Mr. Lynda Carter).

Left with no Jamie or Lynda Carter, what would Ryan do with his time?


Mrs. League of Earth 2?

Even that is difficult to determine. After all, I've got our joint dogs and a cat to contend with who are especially needy when Jamie isn't around to dole out an endless stream of attention and hugs. The TV I watch when she's around or not is pretty much the same as Jamie DVR's anything she thinks I might not be interested in (ie: Project Runway).

I think, were Jamie not around, I'd be a lot grouchier. Jason was always happy to comment on my surliness through my teen and early college years, and I think Jamie puts me in a much better place. I know Jamie has made me a better person in many, many ways. She's given me something to focus on outside of myself, and shown me what real strength can be in the face of incredible challenges, all while never becoming bitter. That's no mean feat.

But as I say, there is no Ryan of the past 13 years without Jamie. So who knows... Ryan of Earth 2 could easily have been a hobo drifter, a Dell tech support rep, a frustrated gaffer working on the latest Hilary Duff movie... Possibly a pirate. I've always been interested in starting a piracy (see: Mirror, Mirror). But we're pretty pleased with how things turned out on Earth 1.

This time around while Jamie's out of town, I actually have a pretty busy schedule. Mini-golf tomorrow. Then possibly catching up with a friend in town for a festival Saturday afternoon and the game Saturday night. My time to get the house back in order is a bit minimal.

*A quick qualifier: Jason will bring this up, because he can never leave well enough alone... It is true that I had been dating a great girl just prior to starting to date Jamie. It is most likely that was about to end for various reasons had Jamie entered the picture or not.

Things That Make Me Sad

1) Beverly Hills Chihuahua has been #1 at the box office for two weeks. It has earned $55 million domestically. here

2) There is a line of Beverly Hills Chihuahua stuff at Petsmart. Just say no. Dogs are not dolls.

3) Spoiler: Jonathan "Pa" Kent died in Action Comics #870 last week.

4) No matter how much time you have, it's never enough

5) This year when watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", I will know that both Charles Schultz and Bill Melendez are no longer with us

6) I talk a lot of smack about the future of comics being online, but I still only read Achewood and re-runs of Calvin & Hobbes and Peanuts online for the most part. Other than that, I depend on Leaguers sending me funny strips. I never made it through Zuda's "Bayou", as I decided I'd rather wait to see if they printed it. They did not. I never got around to spending $60 this year to read back-issues of Marvel.

7) I will never read 99% of what I probably should, and, that roughly translates to option paralysis

8) Movies like Ratatouille get forgotten in favor of lesser films

9) Sometimes I don't know what it is that Lucy would like when she obviously wants something....

10) Too much of the time, I am not the change I am looking for

Stray Thought of the Day: The Olympics and Der UberMensch

So Michael Phelps got me thinking...

One of the things we take for granted is that every Olympics, swimmers bust records, runners bust records, weightlifters lift more weight than anyone had ever lifted before. I don't mean we take the Olympians for granted, but we do assume that in a few races, somebody is going to break a record and swim faster, run faster, etc... than we've ever seen.

Which makes the League ponder...

Is there a point at which we won't be able to continue to beat records? Is there ever going to be a maximum recorded speed for humans to swim? To run? To lift weight? To jump? To throw a javelin?

I assume that in 40 years, the training, diet, equipment, etc... that athletes use will improve to such a degree that what we feel is state of the art today will look to them as the women in petticoats playing golf at the 1900 Olympics looks to us now (gymnastics and track & field wouldn't be added until 1928).


No doubt, these women were considered strumpets for their revealing athletic wear. And rightfully so.

So I wonder if, year after year (and four years after four years), as time marches on... what sort of humans will we be building? Will we see a Michael Phelps in the year 3000 that moves through the water faster than a motor boat? Or will we find some invisible wall and find ourselves competing for 1/1000ths of a second, never pushing beyond some as-yet-unseen boundary?

No doubt the future of gene manipulation (through state-mandated breeding programs, or through some mad science), we haven't yet begun to see how fast, strong, and unbelievable the human body will be by the time The League is an old man.

But, jump-forward to, say, the year 5000? What does it mean for sport when records are no longer breakable? Is that even a conceivable idea? Or is our desire, as humans, to continue to build and grow, advance and see progress so ingrained in us as a species that we will see swimmers who cut through the water like fish? Will they be recognizably human to our eyes from 2008?


Phelps in 3008?

Stray Thought of the Day: Sperm Whales are weird looking

I think Sperm Whales look like both a prototypical whale, like is someone asked you to draw a whale... it would be a sperm whale. But, they look weird. They're big, and chubby looking and pale and have a huge forehead.

Something like yours truly, when I think of it.


sperm whales have a weird, skinny bottom jaw with very scary teeth. Also, it seems, like yours truly.

Stray Thought of the Day: Ewoks are Evil

Hey...

In "Return of the Jedi", remember how the Ewoks had captured our band of adventurers and were taking them back to their village? If it were not for Luke's quick use of the force and C3PO's improvisation as a minor diety, weren't the Ewoks going to cook and EAT Luke, Han, Chewie and the others?

Logically, can we assume then that the Ewoks may have had some success eating previous interlopers to the forest? Such as the contract crew which would have had to come to Endor to build the shield generator? And, possibly, the Storm Troopers themselves?

One has to wonder, then, if when the Rebels and Ewoks allied in the 3rd reel if the Ewoks weren't just thinking "it sure is neat how this meal is helping us catch a whole bunch of other meals! Why, when we're done consuming the white-shelled ones, we can use their head-shells as bowls or drums!" And, also, were Han and Co. not foolish for so easily trusting the little monsters once C3PO had won their freedom? After all, they had to still look quite succulent to the beady little eyes of the Ewok village.


Chief Chirpa points to the proper location for the chips, veggie tray and Rack of Solo.

Perhaps it is only our genetic predisposition to see small, cute things with big eyes as innocent that keeps us blind to the menace beneath the leather hood (what kind of leather? Dried and tanned Storm Trooper flesh?).

Perhaps the Storm Troopers were in the right to want to kill themselves an Ewok, so as not to wind up as a main dish at some feast (surely blasting with the tunes of Meco).

You also kind of have to wonder how awful the 6 movie series would have wrapped up if Luke had met his fate as a casserole.


Wicket found most of the meal delectable, but the large, furry one was a bit chewie.

Stray Thought of the Day

Stray thought of the day - 02/11

I still have to pause and remember that Obama is Obama's last name. It still sounds to me like a first name. I think it's the fact that it ends with a long "a" sound, whereas his first name sounds like a last name, ending with a hard consonant.

Apparently in high school, he went by "Barry".

Also, Mike Huckabee is still hilarious. Watching him on the Colbert Report using Texas as a piece in air hockey was somehow deeply satisfying and said more about our process than I think was intended.

Stray Thought of the Day

How much would it stink to decide to plunge into the waters of the ocean for a nice swim and accidentally land on the horn of a breaching narwhal?

I'm just saying.