Friday, October 21, 2005



Did tonight's episode of Smallville suck.

I don't often pop up to denounce anything Superman, but tonight's episode was unforgivably awful.

That said, I want to be clear that in the first thirty seconds of the show, Lois presented us with two fabulous reasons to continue watching that I hadn't noticed previously.

There are three terrific boobs in this picture. Can you pick the one which ruined the episode?

Yeah... this was the Aquaman episode of Smallville.


Look, I am going to go out on a comic fan limb and admit that I read Aquaman. There's something appealing about an irritable sea-King I find interesting, but I always thought Marvel's Namor was... well, sort of dippy.

Just not The League's cup o' tea

Oddly, in the past five years, it's become a staple of comedy to make fun of Aquaman, and I'm not really sure where that came from. It's not that Aquaman doesn't have some room to poke fun, but have you looked at the useless line-up of the Superfriends? Samurai? The Wonder Twins? Robin the Boy Hostage?

Anyhoo, last season on Smallville Clark met the future Flash, so this season he had to meet somebody else. I guess it was going to be least confusing if he met the Crown Prince of Atlantis. In, you know, Kansas... Kansas, with its towering green mountains and shimmering fjord-like lakes. Yes, Smallville is filmed in lush, mountainous Vancouver. Thus creating the effect of what I like to call Canadasas, the magical Kansas where Clark Kent grew up.

Re-writes were necessary to make Aquaman fit into the world of Smallville, and we learn that "AC" (Arthur Curry for those of you wondering if Aquaman has a real name) is a surfer dude from Miami. Sure, in the comics he's from somewhere under-populated and with actual light-houses like New Brunswick, Canada... but, oh, hell, it's Smallville.. he's a guy from Miami who is written to speak with the irritating lingo of Southern California, repeatedly referring to everyone as "Brah". As in "Ready to go, bro'?"

We learn young Arthur has travelled via water passage all the way from Miami to Canadasas in order to stop the scheming Lex Luthor from testing a new sonic weapon intended for use by the Navy. Why? The weapon kills not just submarines... it kills fish.

And fish, we all know, are Aquaman's finny friends. It isn't covered in the scope of this show, but I assume Aquaman can still talk to fish, and this is why he's upset.

Truthfully, it's sort of tough to tell how Aquaman is feeling at any given time. I hate to be the one to say it, but Aquaman isn't much of an actor. He's not much of an actor to the point where one wonders what the hell the casting agents were thinking beyond the fact that the actor physically looks built enough to be a swimmer. The "surfer dude" take on Aquaman (appearing her for the first time, I assure you), has the same ring of surfer dudes written by the 40-year olds writing "Saved by the Bell". It's awful and unwelcome, and apparently was a huge problem for the actor playing Aquaman.

I looked up actor Alan Ritchson on IMDB. Apparently, this is it. Aside from appearing on American Idol during auditions, Aquaman here hasn't ever been in front of the camera before. And if that wasn't painfully obvious to the poor folks working on the episode, they should all get two demerits.

In his two scenes with Lex Luthor actor Michael Rosenbaum, one can almost feel Rosenbaum flailing, trying to get something out of Aquaman other than hammy posturing and stilted line delivery. Actor Tom Welling is serviceable as Clark Kent, but, let's be honest, he's not exactly John Malkovich. So the scenes with Clark and AC have a sort of dead-weight/ marking time feel one doesn't particularly take a shine to in hour-long TV.

But what's an Aquaman to do? He ends his scene by declaring billionaire corporate tycoon Lex Luthor is "a tool", and storms out of Lex's office.

So very, very phoned in by all parties.

If the powers-that-be at DC decided that Aquaman needed some screen-time, they really couldn't have botched the job any worse. From confusing priorities for Aquaman to a pointless romantic subplot between Aquaman and Lois, to casting a guy who wouldn't have made it as an extra into a high-school play, what could have been an interesting episode turned into so much chum.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I had to work late, so I missed the game.

Congrats to the Houston Astros for finally, finally, finally making it into the World Series.

The Lastros/ Disastros have had a long and goofy history of never making it past a League Championship series.

Now, The League knows little to nothing about baseball, but we're still happy for what we consider to be our hometown team. After having endured the cheesiness of the D-Backs for the past three years, we're happy to see the hard-luck heroes of the Houston Astros finally going on to greater glory.

And congrats to the Astros fans out there among you Loyal Leaguers. I know some of you are long time fans, while some of you (like the tiniest of the Cone Family) have only been following the Astros for a while.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Disclaimer for Jamie's parents: LOOK AWAY

I don't usually take time out to read my junk mail, but something about this one caught my eye.

This is the junk mail, verbatim:

Are you feeling shy over your inability to get much more than a semi-hard-on in the sack??
Do you feel depressed because of your ED problem???
Now here's the perfect solution for you --- wiagra.
It is truly a "Wonder Drug of the 90s."
You'll get the best erection you can remember in many years for is 14.99 $.The cheapest pack of wiagra.

1) What is this "wiagra"?
2) It's been several years since the 90's.
3) They couldn't even take the time to correct their type-o's.

Truly the work of a disheartened spammer. They're not even trying any more. So dispirited and sad. What happened to the halcyon days of spamming where I had to actually read my e-mail to determine if it was spam or real mail?

We've really lost something, man. The age of innocence has finally passed.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Lucy has her Super-Initiation

We bought this costume some time ago for Mel. Unfortunately, Mel is somewhat stout of nature, and the costume didn't really fit.

Well, the super-costume fit Lucy, but in the ten minutes she wore the costume, she managed to more or less tear it to shreds. And thus her Krypto the Superdog costume-wearing days come to an end.

Ya'll enjoy the photo.
WATCHMEN on Time's 100-Best Novels List

No, really. Check it out.

read the Newsarama post here.

I want to start chanting the Maxwell chant...

One of us...
One of us...

Whenever I think of Watchmen, I think of Shoemaker. I think of how he and my copy of Watchmen had a pitiless and antagonistic relationship that ended in the destruction of a perfectly good copy of Watchmen. I also think about how much I would love to try to be Night-Owl for Halloween, but I don't think anybody would get it. Nor would Jamie dress as the Silk Spectre.

I am proud to say I own an entire run of the issues and a copy of the trade. I confess, I also will be receiving the DC Absolute Edition of Watchmen in fairly short order. Oversized pages, re-colored, hard-bound, extra materials from Moore and Gibbons.

What can you say about Moore? The man is a mad-genius. His run on Promethea managed to totally freak me out. His "Supreme" stories were the best Superman stories in years (and they weren't even Superman comics). V for Vendetta still makes my head ring.

It must be interesting to not yet be 60 and know "this is the one they'll remember me for". Still, one can hope that Watchmen can be a gateway to the rest of Moore's work for a generation of readers.

Hey, everybuddy!

The Adventures of Superman arrives on DVD today!

I won't be getting my copy in the mail for a few days, but I thought I'd make an announcement, knowing full-well, nobody but The League will be excited about this release.

WB has really stepped up and put together a nice package for ol' Supes. Not only is all of Season 1 of the series included (that's 26 episodes to you and me), but they also included the Superman movie, "Superman and the Mole Men".

I've only seen a handful of episodes of the Superman series, and it is some really silly fun. George Reeves cuts a great Superman and Clark Kent, Noel Neill is a foxy Lois Lane, and the Daily Planet gang is the slackest, most standing-aroundest bunch of journalists to ever put out a paper on a daily basis.

Crooks might as well be twirling their mustaches, and the plots are the sort of rare imagination one usually only finds in low-budget programming.

Anyway, at least check out the Mini-Site.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

On the topic of: Infrequency of Posts

Dear Loyal Leaguers,

You may have noticed that my posts are not posted daily, or five times a week as I usually attempt to maintain. Nor are the number of posts matching the sheer volume of posts of the salad days of The League when one could expect a new post about twice a day.

We've had a rough few months here at League HQ. If you're a regular reader of this site, or you know Jamie and myself, you probably know that to which I refer.

I'll continue to try my best for regular updates. I'm not slacking off for the sake of slacking off. Nor is The League abandoning the blog because The League finally discovered girls. The League is just a little worn down right now, and may not feel that his free moments are best spent pondering the imponderables of the comic book world.

It's this fear of disappointing my readership when I know I don't have time to maintain The League that has made me threaten blogicide in the past few months. Well, all you Loyal Leaguers seemed to want to stick it out, so I want to try, too. But I would be remiss if I didn't attempt to manage expectations.

Look for upodates regularly, but don't feel I'm trying a side-door exit just because I haven't posted in a day or three.

We hope you'll stick with us. These things tend to come in waves and cycles, and when things return to steady-state, I assume we'll be off and running once again. Unless I discover girls.

Up, up and away,

The League