I want for nothing more than to read Jim D's review of Garfield, the Movie.
There's something about the movie, the trailers, the casting... the very... I don't know. I can't put it into words, but my brain is locked in morbid fascination with Garfield the Movie. It's the same fascination which drove me to the same theater twice in the same day to see two awful movies: Dungeons & Dragons and Dracula 2000. It's how I saw "Cats & Dogs", "Pokemon: The Movie", "Man's Best Friend", "Power Rangers: The Movie", "Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course", "Street Fighter: The Movie", "Mortal Kombat: The Movie", "Cutthroat Island", "Underworld", virtually every Arnie movie, and "American Cyborg: Steel Warrior" all in the theater.
There's something about horrid, horrid movies which fires the imagination. There's something about the half-assed lack of artistry which drives me to the theater to see exactly how little the creators have done. We all have a little Ignatius J. Reilly in us, I suppose.
Randy has volunteered, and so Randy will be heard within these pages. But there's something about Jim that leads me to believe, Jim simply does not dwell in a plane of existence where Garfield, the Movie is seen by the likes of his eyes.
I am offering Jim the cost of a ticket, a soda and a tub of popcorn. I will even offer up the cost of gas for his vehicle.
I just want 500 words on Garfield the Movie. Is that too much to ask for? Is it?
I fear it is.
A foretaste of the feast to come.