I think my boss is trying to get rid of me...

ALIENS!

--Mrs. League

As a Superman-fan, I don't usually have much space to ridicule the proclivities of others.

But this Cuddle Party thing? If you're one of the lucky folks attending Cuddle Parties, I'm going to help you out here:

You are lame.

If you're that starved for attention and affection, get a cat. The cat may not even like you, but it will sit on you when it gets cold. Rolling around on the floor with total strangers while you're in your jammies shows only that your mommy did not hold you enough as a child.

Seriously, this is the lamest thing I've ever heard of. It's right up there with Furries.

A special section for the ladies:

The men are lying to you. They do not just want simple platonic affection. This Cuddle Party idea has been concocted by the same team of evil geniuses who taught you it's okay to wear only a sports-bra while jogging, and that the Beach Volleyball team would perform better in bikinis.

Remember that dude from Rain's Cuddle Party two weeks back? He was laying next to you in the Cookie Monster shirt? he was kind of funny and silly, but sort of weird, but it was okay because it's just a cuddle party..?

He's imagining you naked even now.

He is. I'm sorry. All we can do is hope to distract him next time

This time next year, the Cuddle Parties are going to have turned into big Ecstacy-fueled Roman orgies, and all of the people looking to crawl into their jammies and roll around on the floor with complete strangers (while still pretending this is actually sanitary) are going to be wondering what happened.

Get a cat. They're easy to adopt at the ASPCA. They even poop in a box so they're easy to clean up after.

If that fails, try dating.

I don't follow baseball, but holy cow...

I get the feeling I am not going to be able to find the Justice League toy of The UltraHumanite.

Note on the link that this company has ALREADY jacked the price up to $35.00 before shipping.

Leaguers, this is highway robbery. This is $.75 worth of plastic.

IF you see the toy at Target or Wal-Mart, let me know or pick it up, and I will send you a PHAT check. DO NOT spend more than $7.50 on this toy. THe last time I ordered a figure online that way, I saw it on the peg for $6.50 the next week.

Anyway, Ultra-Humanite. White Ape with big brain and bondage gear.

Remember that movie Jim Caviezel was in where his father sent him to humanity to save us from ourselves?

Well, word on the comic book street is that he may be about to be in another movie along those same lines.

Jim Caviezel is now rumored to be cast as Superman for the new Bryan Singer helmed Superman movie due to begin production before the end of 04.

If the rumor is true, I'm okay with it. I'm not as excited as I was about Christian Bale as Batman, but it's a far cry from one-time-Super-selection Ashton Kutcher (shudder). Caviezel is supposed to be an excellent actor (I've never seen any of his movies). He's just... smaller than I was thinking Superman might be. And I'd have liked to have seen the continuity of bringing Tom Welling over from Smallville to Superman. But, c'est la vie. No Kutcher means we're that much closer to the movie not being a complete trainwreck.

You can read here where Mark Millar (irritating but talented writer of Marvel's Ultimates and Spider-Man) drops the bomb.

And sounds like the script includes Brainiac. BRAINIAC!!!! Please, God... Let them use the "Where's-My-Pants?" version of Brainiac. Actually, Brainiac has had so many different looks over the years, I am sure it will be a totally new and interesting version if he is in the movie.

I guess Brainiac 13 is too much to hope for.

Actually, these days, expecting this movie not to stink is too much to hope for. Jim D. called me about two weeks ago apparently just to let me know he didn't think they could ever make a good Superman movie. I suspect he'd just finished Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, which was excellent only in it's inclusion of John Cryer as Luthor's bumbling nephew, Lenny.

More Superheroes in trouble...

Superman is in Minnesota causing trouble, so Batman has also made an appearance in the Mid-West.

I always thought The World's Greatest Detective would avoid the sweets. Mayhaps not.

thanks to Shoemaker for the link.

Sounds like Clark's been getting into the red kryptonite again.

Maxwell locates some unfortunate advertising at the Republican convention.

God knows I love Halloween. I do. I love it. Here at The League, it's up there with Christmas and Arbor Day.

And I am comforted to know it is soon a-coming. How do I know? I just ate a delicious bowl of "Haunted Apple Jacks Manor" with marshmallow bones, skulls, and other little bits. It was frightfully delicious.

Anybody have any ideas for a Halloween contest this year? In order to help out Jim D., I'm a-thinking of a single entry list of "really bad horror movies."

Either that, or something to do with "What shall I carve upon a pumpkin?"

I have to run the contest beginning in about two or three weeks, so I'm taking submissions for ideas.

And it's not too early for you to start planning your costume. This year, I am going to be a chubby white guy. I started working on this costume in 1995. I'm almost done.

So I may or may not have broken Jamie's hand. Ker-whack.

Nothing like injuring the wife to make yourself feel like a total heel.

We were at the gym and I tossed her a medicine ball. According to some reports, I tossed it too quickly or something. I'm not sure. I thought the speed was okay. Maybe she lacks hand-eye coordination. I cannot say. I do know it was I who threw the ball, and she has the injured hand.

I also know that we spent three or four hours at the ER today listening to the lady in the next room get manually cleared of her terrible constipation.

Look, if I had to listen to the whole ordeal, you have to think about it for a few seconds.

Jamie is doing okay. She needs to go for an additional X-Ray later this week, and then she'll know for certain. In the meantime, she's in a sort of cast/ splint and a sling.

And I feel like a jerk.

Luckily, there was my mom on the other end of the phone, lending her undying love and support.

"What did you do that to her for?"
"Mom, I just tossed her the ball."
"Well, you threw it too hard."
"I didn't throw it too hard, Ma. It was a freak accident."
"Why weren't you being more careful?"
"I was being careful. It was an accident."
"It doesn't sound to me like you were being careful."
"I was."
"Well, Jamie can't catch a ball like that. What kind of ball was this?"
"It was a medicine ball."
"I never heard of such a thing. Why were you throwing it at her?"
"Because my trainer told me to. We were like five feet apart."
"It sounds like you weren't being careful."

Sigh.

Anyone remember my self-congratulatory story on my time at The Disney Store?

Well, apparently I'm not the only one who sees the face of evil in the robotic friendliness and efficiency of the Disney Corp.

Heidi reports here from The Beat.

Reading this makes me want to watch Westworld again.

THANKS, SCIENCE!!!!

You know what's amazing but absolutely f**king gross?

Growing a jaw in your back.

It turns out, I am in class with a guy who played Spock's dad in Star Trek V.

How cool is that?

Hi all.

Still busy.

But, here we go anyway...

Comics legend Neil Gaiman has ventured continually into film and television, and is not set to see one of the projects he's worked on actually get wide theatrical release. He's most famous for his Sandman series, and the Death spin-offs.

The new flick appears to be a fantasy movie in the vein of Dark Crystal, Labrynth, Legend or something like that. I honestly have no idea, because all of the pictures look like images done by comic illustrator Dave McKean, a constant Gaiman collaborator. (McKean also worked on Arkham Asylum, I believe).

I don't know if McKean worked on this film, but it sure looks like he did.

The movie is called "MirrorMask". I don't know anything about it, including expected release dates.

Here's a pic

Here's another

another pic

Yet another

I already know my old pal, The My, will be a big fan of this movie. I doubt he knows if it yet, but he will.

There's a new Batman cartoon debuting this Fall.

Looks pretty much like Batman, all right. It doesn't appear to be any improvement over the Batman series from the 90's, but it does look okay. I have no doubt I'll DVR it (it's on Saturday mornings... The League is so very sleepy on Saturday mornings).

My guess is, WB is re-launching the entire Batman franchise with the release of Batman Begins, and they didn't want to pay Bruce Timm and Paul Dini a decent salary, so they started fresh.

Anyway, for a peek at the show, click here. There's a Flash intro and a stream of a sort of trailer for the show and skin for your media player.

You may or may not know this, but The League is involved with Distance Education by profession. I put classes online for the School of Engineering for a large public university.

Well, it's a fairly new field, this online learning. Maybe ten years old.

Anyway, this is the first time I've seen distance learning related humor. I'm a little blown away.

Check out this article in The Onion.

And just a little something if you have a few extra minutes at your desk...

an ad for Robot Insurance from Old Glory Insurance.

...Doesn't pay to get out of bed...

So it's the first week of classes, which means there are a lot of students on campus all of the time, running from building to building, finding classrooms, lounging about, etc...

Which also means there are lots of folks selling crap all around campus. There are the guys selling newspaper subscriptions, and people trying to move credit cards, etc... Last year there were girls in slinky dresses trying to give out samples of a new cologne.

So I just left a meeting and I'm walking on the street parallel to campus (think west side of The Drag) when this dude in the standard "gym-guy" uniform spies me. I see he has a handful of brightly colored flyers, so I steel myself.

"Hey, dude! You want to get the workout of a lifetime?!!! Be in the best shape of your life?!!!"

I give him the one hand "no" motion near my side, and do the curt head-shake. And I go on my way.

"Looks like you could use it!"

And that's when I stopped and turned to look back.

I THINK he was trying to be helpful or something, because he was still standing there with a flier extended out to me.

As always, I was at a loss for words, but I was standing there with the bird fully extended, so I guess I felt pretty good about that.

I just wondered what school of marketing this guy had gone to where you SHAME people into joining your gym. I can only imagine the hang-dog clientele, miserably trudging along on the treadmill.

"You'll never lose weight like that, fatty!"

Anyway, it was a nice, completely unexpected blow to my self-esteem I just didn't need today. And when that's the case, the finger just doesn't suffice.

Happy Birthday R2-D2!

Kenny Baker, the man in the can, is 70 years old today. 70 years old and they're still making him sit in the little robot while he should be out on the golf course. For those of you who think R2-D2 is Kenny's only claim to fame I direct you to item 4 on his IMDB filmography list.

--Mrs. League