I just cleaned my mouse, and it works much, much better. You would not believe the crap which had built up in there.

Hurray for Gary Coleman, who has also tipped his hat to run for the Governorship of California.

No new news of obesity today, I am sorry to say, but I think I made my point. I will resume obesity reports as events warrant.

For those of you who might pick up a monthly comic, the new Batman/ Superman comic (or Superman/ Batman... there's no title, just an emblem) got off to a great start. The art is the best Ed McGuinness I've ever seen (and if you ask Jamie, I assure you she can confirm that I like Ed McG's Superman work), and the story seems fairly interesting. I know comic people criticize Superman and Batman as "same old, same old", but I still dig this stuff, especially when the quality is this good.

Anyway, Mel keeps doing this weird thing on our walks where he alternately accelerates and slows down and looks at me. I've been walking him for three years, and this is a new development. I asked him what the story is, but he just sped off. Today he was FOCUSED when we went on our walk and would not jump off the sidewalk in time and got tagged by a sprinkler. I think he blamed me, but I was trying to help him. The good news is, we are both in slightly better shape for our recent ritual of morning walkies, and I plan to extend our path in the next week or two.

Hey, kids. Quick Update. Jerry Springer has decided not to run for Senator from Ohio. I am sad to hear this. We need more folks in the Senate who are likely to conclude each session with a Final Thought. But on the plus side, with Jerry sticking to daytime TV, there will still be an outlet in American television where you know, weekday after weekday, you will be even more disappointed in humanity than by watching Hollywood Squares.

Arianna Huffington is running for Governor. I support this. She has very nice hair.

Thanks to Randy for the News tip!

Fat Discrimination

We're on Day 3 of an infinite number of days of Headline News returning to their favorite topic: obesity. The omnipresent spectre was discussed today in light of a Gallup Poll which determined whether folks felt they had been discriminated against because of their weight, and whether employers would be likely to discriminate against folks because of their girth. During the report, the weird, awkward Gallup guy pantomimed a gut and made sure to point out that more Americans are overweight (according to the AMA) than said felt they were overweight... he clearly felt ashamed of those Americans who did not admit they were overweight. It was very strange...

Stayed up too late watching The Rules of Attraction on cable. This movie probably isn't for everyone, but after endless cable reruns of Road Trip and American Pie 2, it was interesting to break from the mold and see a movie about quasi-sociopathic yet recognizable college kids. I know American Pie, et al, are always supposed to have "heart", but the cute and fuzzy bunny characters never appeal to me, and the stories always seem to downshift into sentimental glop about some randomly boring love interest when the beginnings of the movies always make it look like the characters are having much more fun NOT being in love. I'm not even sure I would say Rules of Attraction was a good movie, but it differed enough from the cute and fuzzy bunny formula that at times I knew that if I'd seen this in college, it would have made a boatload more sense to me than those movies mentioned above.

The other fun part of The Rules of Attraction was when, about forty minutes into the movie I suddenly put 2 and 2 together and realized the James VanDer Beek character was supposed to be Patrick Bateman's little brother from American Psycho. Suddenly everything became so very, very clear. (BTW, while the book of American Psycho is fairly disturbing and not for everyone, the movie version was pretty lame and ended up as a fairly tame slasher fliock... ). Anyway, realizing the connection also solidified the theme of adding "American" as part of your title to give it some sort of ubiquitous meaning and gave a different gravity to the end of the flick.

Am currently reading Jimmy Olsen: Adventures by Jack Kirby. Check it out, comic geeks. This is some great, great stuff.

Turns out I was wrong on some details on the Castillo case. For an interview with the Director of the CBLDF, read here. For an interview with the actual guy who got arrested, read here.

Never let it be said I won't point out where I am wrong. Except on this whole "Groundhog Day" thing. 6 more weeks of winter, my ass...

The Magic Genies at blogger.com who run the blogging service I utilize have now fixed my archives problem. If you'd liek to review my past posts, such as they are, you may now visit my little archives section. It's fast, it's free, it's fun and it may very well save your life.

Fat Kids in Crisis: A Nation Mourns

Headline News ran another story about childhood obesity. Today's topic was about stapling kids' stomachs to curb the fatness. THis was after they brought on two ugly teenagers to demonstrate how to properly wear a bicycle helmet.

Okay, look... this is the sort of thing I'm going to obsess about, so i just want to prepare everyone. I plan to now count the number of days in a row I have to hear about obesity on Headline News. We're on Day 2

And if your kid can't wear a helmet properly (and I know I've just doomed any future Steans progeny by saying this outloud), isn't there something called Natural Selection? If you're 15 and you're wearing your bike helmet, say... sideways... you're probably going to end up getting killed sooner or later doing something like chasing a shiny object into heavy traffic.

On the legal front, The Supreme Court refused to hear the Jesus Castillo case out of Dallas. Jesus sold a really nasty adult Japanese comic book to an undercover cop. The comic contained all kinds of stuff unfit for the pages of The League, but we think this is silly. Couple of things: the comic was in a marked off section clearly labeled "for adults only", and rumor had it that a rampaging PTA mom had threatened the shop because they would not sell her Pokemon cards wholesale. THis same woman then appeared at PTA meetings and began making a stink about the shop, and the idea is that she basically set them up. Also, the actual store was not the one which got in trouble, it was the hapless minimum wage clerk... poor guy. But, apparently, because of "community standards" rules, what the cop did was legal, as were all the proceedings. (Jim and I discussed this off-line. It's actually fairly interesting, You should ask him about the laws.)

The final argument prosecutors used basically defied considerable expert testimony, piles of evidence and sheer logic, but appealed emotionally to the selected jurists and their preconceived notions (leaving me to wonder how awful the Defense attorney really was). Basically she argued that comics are for kids (dismissing all evidence about sales, etc...), and that poor Jesus must be trying to corrupt kids. (BTW, no actual kids ever obtained illicit material from the store, but that wasn't the point). It's kind of a messed up story, and it has unleashed the usual anti-Texas sentiments upon the comic geek internet sites. I find this irritating, if nothing else.

I invite anyone drifting in from Jim's legal sites to review this decision and try to find out if the Castillo guy has to do anytime in the slammer.

I'm not sure Japanese tentacle porn is exactly what I think of when I dream of a free country, but something appears to be broken here. The legal action demonstrates how vulnerable any of us could be. The truth is, if this is the precedent, a cop could walk into any bookstore and start arresting the clerks. A cop could arrest librarians and convenience store owners. One wonders what this would mean for Internet Providers and importers. At any rate, it's kind of creepy. And they picked on the one guy who couldn't afford to fund himself for an attorney so the CBLDF ended up picking up the considerable tab. Point being, even if he HAD been exonerated, as well assume justice would prevail, he would still have ridiculous legal fees to worry about, and that's not something an attorney is going to just forget about, nor a court for fees.

CNN loves to talk about fat people. Seriously. They LOVE it. Every freaking morning on Headline News... but that kind of slowed down during the Iraq thingy as Dr. Gupta and company went to parts unknown.

But you can tell CNN is bored with world events again... this morning Headline News ran a lengthy "story" about how kids are getting fat. Curiously, Headline News suggested that the new solution is to get schools to teach kids how not to get fat. My favorite part is that CNN shows footage of fat kids' bodies while talking about how disgusting fat kids are, but they try to give anonymity by not showing the kid's face... THEN they show OTHER people to clearly contextualize and identify the kid and thus set the kid up for a lifetime of therapy. I know what a fat kid looks like, thanks. I don't need a visual and the guilt of knowing what psychic horrors CNN is building with each story about obesity.

Here's what your pudgy (but wise) Uncle Ry thinks: Maybe if you see your kid is playing videogames 5 hours a day while eating Cheese Doodles, the problem is not something a teacher is going to resolve, no matter how colorful her charts of the food pyramid. Kids already have to sit 8 hours a day in school. Recess and getting beat up is probably the only exercise they ARE getting. Instead of playing five hours of John Madden football, mayhaps the answer is to spend $15 on a real football and take away the Super Delicous Berry Toaster Treats and the Eat 'Em Ups. Maybe even send the kid outside? The outside, however, is a frightening place. I understand that every parent is concerned once outside, their precious angel will get abducted or turned onto drugs or that the sun will give their little swamp rat some skin cancer. Have we mutually agreed as a society that it's best just to let the kids widen as their pudgy little fingers squeeze out an afternoon of fun?

I throw stones, but, honestly, it was hot as hell growing up in Texas and we spent many afternoons camped inside, too. I'm just jealous that Atari sucked compared to the PS2. But really, as a kid my mom locked the door at 9:00am in the summer and we were only allowed in for lunch and for dinner. We were smelly little kids, so I don't blame her, and that is when "Uncle Steve" used to come visit, and the milkman and the air conditioner guy and... HEY! Waitaminnut....

Anyway, I like the fat kids of today. For every fat kid with low self-esteem playing videogames at home, that's one less kid I have to deal with when I'm trying to make my way through the grocery store. Or for every little brain-dead mongrel with a Game Boy at a public function, that's one less kid I have to pretend to be interested in. At least they're not rotting their brains with f**king comic books...