So, thus far, not only has The League not made one cent by placing ads, The League noticed that the three click-thru's he placed himself came to nothing.

So, The League is looking at a bleak future of having to do this for free.

C'mon, you jerks! Buy something! Support The League's Sponsors.


I was thinking the other day...

Where the hell are Loyal Leaguers Nathan and Jill? Nathan has gone mostly AWOL since the appearance of his child, and Jill disappeared from my Inbox just after announcing her move to Kalamazoo.

No, really. There's a place in Michigan called Kalamazoo. It is where the Hermann-Wilmarths go to nest every summer.


I am going to try to read the following actual books this summer (before I return to school and cannot make time to read fun things).

1. Theodore Rex
2. Eisner/ Miller

I'm wanting to read a good political biography or other book regaling me with some historical interest. But it's been a while since I was a history major, and I really don't know where to start.

Anybody know any good historical non-fiction?

Entertainment Weekly, CNN.com (sorry, the story is gone now. No link available) and others have all been jumping on the low box office receipts for this year.

Lots of had-wringing reports have come out recently stating that box office has dropped off to such a degree that movie going will most certainly end and we'll all end up watching movies on pay-per-view.

But check out the Top Ten.

Kingdom of Heaven20th Century Fox
House of WaxWarner Bros.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyTouchstone
CrashLions Gate
The InterpreterUniversal
XXX: State of the UnionColumbia
The Amityville HorrorMGM
SaharaParamount
A Lot Like LoveTouchstone
Fever Pitch20th Century Fox


Of the top ten movies:

2 were remakes of Horror Classics with a B-level cast (the original House of Wax scared me to death when I was 13, and Amityville... Amityville was debunked years ago, and the story really isn't THAT compelling. Not to mention the glut of haunted house movies from the past six years or so) In a seeming effort to drive away a good chunk of the audience, one movie has even inserted Paris Hilton.

1 was a remake of XXX. Without the titular actor returning. Nor any sign of the rocket-propelled, nuclear-powered submarine.

1 was a period piece about a period which most Americans, I am guessing, know about mostly from having seen Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

Hitchhiker's is an adaptation if nichey, culty book, which may have produced a nichey, culty movie audience.

2 romantic comedies (because the earth will quit spinning if we don't have two romantic comedies at the cineplex at all times) . One stars Jimmy Fallon. The other stars Ashton Kutcher, who everyone over the age of 19 (Ms. Moore excepted) kind of hates. *

Crash, which looks kind of preachy

And Sahara which looks like... well, sort of like "The Jewel of the Nile". Except with all the star power of Penelope Cruz. Because, we are all told, we all love Penelope Cruz.

and The Interpreter, which looks like those thrillers from the eighties which take themselves very seriously and usually involve people talking in hushed tones and looking at photos and whatnot. But you can be sure, everyone will be very, very grave.

It's not that anything in the top 10 even looks all that bad, it's that none of it really looks all that good. Even Kingdom of Heaven looks like a movie you're asking me to make an investment in before sitting down. I mean, I see a horse and a suit of armor, and I figure, with trailers, the fastest I'm getting out of the theater in 3 hours, 10 minues. That's a sizeable chunk of my weekend. It better be pretty darn good. And yet it stars Orlando Bloom.

Mostly, everything just sort of looks like something I've seen before. And I've got cable if I want to see things I've already seen before.

That, and Hollywood has decided it's already Summer Movie Season, and if they decide, it must be, right?

1. It was snowing last week in Michigan. I know this because my consultant from Ann Arbor told me this. It may be 72 and breezy in LALA Land, but the rest of the country is still trying to decide how many layers to wear.

2. Kids aren't out of school and college kids are in finals. This is your audience. If you really want to get kids to skip studying in order to go to the movies, you better have some serious explosions up your sleeve. I mean, you'd best be offering up the "choose between the red pill and the blue pill"-type explosions.

And I don't know if it's just me slowly going crazier (this is what Steanso blames), but if I have an option between paying $8.00 to half hear my movie and half hear somebody else's conversation, or, if I can just watch a movie on my 27" TV, stop and start it at will, and not worry about some kid kicking my seat... well, The League knows what the League is going to do.

Honestly, we now pick movies, movie times and venues pretty well. We've gotten it all down to a bit of a science. Aside from the kids under 10 running about during The Aviator, we've done pretty well lately.

But for the most part, there's just not much I want to see. Or at least, for $8.00 a ticket, plus $3.50 for a coke, and $2.50 for a box of Hot Tamales, I mean... do I really want to do all that in order to see Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore? Isn't there something on Discovery?

Not every movie is going to be gold. In fact, I usually think 1 in 5 being something of interest ain't bad. But I hate the whining. Why isn't anyone going to the movies? Because the movies look really uninteresting.

And it's tough to take anyone seriously who complains that Star Wars' $300+ million take won't meet expectations... but, who is setting these expectations? And how are they setting them? Last I checked, $300 million is the GDP of some smaller countries.

The League loves movies. Really. We do. We try not to be film snobs (and certainly do not feel that we've got the pedigree to be a film snob). And we try to enjoy movies for both escapism and for the commentary they can deliver in teh right hands.

But we don't like articles written chastising the general populace for not going to the movies while refusing to suggest that, maybe... just maybe... the product the studios are offering us just doesn't look like it should cost us $30 after candy and soda are accounted for.


*The League hereby declares Our services open to the Hollywood elite. But, especially, to casting directors.

The League would make ourselves available 24 hours a day to all casting directors. For a nominal fee, you could call me up, tell me :

1. the story of the movie in some broadstrokes
2. a bit about the character
3. your intended audience
4. how much money you really want to make, gross
5. which well-known actor you're considering for the part

The League will then tell you:

1. if the League perceives the well-known actor to be a complete jack-ass
2. whether or not the coveted 18-34 year old male audience will see the movie
3. if he'd pay matinee or full price
4. and why he really, really hates the actor you just called to ask him about

We think we'd find this service to be not only a step toward the betterment of mankind, but, also, we'd find it personally gratifying.

Some additions to The Royal Roster of Loyal Leaguers

We've added a few items to the blogroll recently. Check out Return to Comics and Dave's Long Box. Both have linked to The League, although The League does not know these people. We assume they are nice folks.

On a less comics-oriented front, God of Biscuits linked to The League, so we're returning the favor. We don't know God of Biscuits, but we assume he is the deity who gave King Biscuit his Flower Power.

And, of course, Michael Scaljon, whom I have not figured how he knows Jim.

****UPDATE****

Jim sent me two more folks who have linked to the League.

Pleadings star Heather Durham has linked to the League

as well as this person, known for their Profundities.

The League Totally $@%*ing Sells Out!

So, recently RHPT.com added advertising to RHPT.com. It's his personal blog and, like The League, the blog is Randy's personal gift to humanity.

Randy was attacked in his comments section, and responded here.

The biggest accusation? RHPT.com had lost his indie street cred (which, with $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee), and had TOTALLY $@%*ing sold out. To, I assume, The Man.


For your files, an image of The Man (aka: The Admiral)

The League loves doing anything with will make Jim D. sigh with resignation, and so has applied to join Google AdSense himself.

What, indeed, IS the earning potential of The League of Melbotis? Thus far The League has received goods and services from Loyal Leaguers, and hopes to receive more free stuff in the future. However, The League is morbidly curious to see, exactly, what can come of this.

So, The League decided to see what can happen with the profit-making potential of the internet (thanks, Al Gore!). Especially when you select the biggest ad type which won't totally jack-up your formatting?


The League turns to his usual financial advisor for advice on whether or not this will work.

I do plan to fill in Loyal Leaguers as to the processes and windfalls of my advertising here.

1. I applied to AdSense
2. They e-mailed me back a day later to say "welcome" and provide instructions.
3. The directions are relatively simple to get this thing up and online.
4. I have no idea how I'm actually going to get paid for this, or even what the math is on click-throughs.
5. It doesn't really matter. It's all in good fun.

I have noticed that Google has already done a crawl here at The League. We're now schilling Superman costumes and Justice League outfits.

I've also gone aheaded and added a web-search, courtesy of Our Dread Lord, Google. Have fun with that.

It's capitalism, ahoy! here at the S.S. Melbotis!

Okay, I just spent an hour watching a documentary on Oliver, the Humanzee.

I invite for you to read up on Oliver.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Apparently he lives here, near San Antonio.

As unnerving as Oliver may be, it was just as unnerving to learn that scientists sort of think it might not be too hard to mix and match human and chimpanzee DNA and make a Humanzee.

I can only assume my sense of dread from the other day foretold the loss by Suns from last night. Otherwise, I have no idea.

DC's president and publisher, Paul Levitz, has posted an open letter to DC fans regarding the logo change at the company.

As much as something seems afoot in the actual comics DC publishes, a few rumors have popped up of a DC Comics which will be asked to play ball with the parent omnicorp of Time-Warner. Previously, DC had kept a low profile within the corporation and acted more or less independently, pointing to licensing of the big three in order to justify their existence.

It's not so much that Time-Warner appears to feel DC needs to put up or get closed down, as much as they look at Marvel setting up their own movie studio, a billion dollars in receipts for Spider-Man, and other successes Marvel has managed to leverage. In short, they're looking to further merchandise DC properties and try to manage it in house so travesties like last year's Catwoman do not reoccur.

Personally, I think properties like Green Lantern (Corps), The Flash, Green Arrow and Black Canary might all be viable commodities. Second and third tier characters from DC would be at least as viable as Marvel's. And, heck... Marvel can't seem to sell Blade comic books, but the movies make tens of millions. Could DC make a succesful Question movie? What about Enemy Ace? Or Mr. Terrific?

The concern is this: As DC angles to drop "Comics" from their name, and, instead, become just DC (as is DC toys, DC movies, DC t-shirts)... What are those in power from above Levitz going to do to the comic line? It's never been hugely profitable, and with fewer and fewer comic readers existing in the world, what will happen? Will Time-Warner use it's distribution channels to increase circulation? Will the suits step in and hack and slash titles? Force format change? And, most important... how likely is it that somebody at Time-Warner above Levitz will begin to dictate what content is appropriate for a wider audience? Especially when lunch boxes and action figures get involved in the mix?

It's a waiting game at this point. But I've got faith in DC.

BTW, I like this picture DC has on the website, with Superman and Batman sort of endorsing the logo by association. The picture looks a bit like Superman and Batman are behaving as they might normally when confronted with something new. Batman looks suspicious, ready to kick somebody in the sternum. Superman looks enthusiastic, ready to check out this new thing, confident that if he tries hard enough, it's all going to work out.

Speaking of Superman, Bryan Singer has been publishing video diaries of his work on the currently filming Superman Returns. You can check them out over at Bluetights.net.

The latest video, as of this writing, is video 11. I deeply recommend you check it out. This video shows a first glimpse of the new Daily Planet offices.

Each item which I see regarding this movie makes me believe this movie is going to be the sort of Superman film I want to see.

I've picked up a copy of Sarah Vowell's "The Partly Cloudy Patriot." It's going to be a quick read. Some highly distracted reading tonight got me through about 60 pages. Vowell's writing is conversational, quick and breezy.

It's part-memoir, part navel-gazing, part who knows? Here's what I am really enjoying: a lot of younger writers riff on the morass of pop culture in our lifestyle. Movie, TV, music references. Touchstones which are going to mean something to your Gen-X/ Gen-Y reader more than allusions to House of the Seven Gables.

While Vowell does bring these things up, she's got a lengthier worldview. For the most part, she sticks to what she knows, and this is book of history as pop culture. Where others might dwell upon reruns of Gilligan's Island, Vowell visits Gettysburg and reflects upon Abraham Lincoln's likely penchant for procrastination if he is anything like her fellow writers. But the book doesn't devolve with Vowell swimming in detail. The book uses the knowing shared nod so familiar to Gen X writing, but refers to Thomas Jefferson the way others might point to Mick Jagger.

I won't draw any conclusions yet. I'm on page 61 for God's sake. But I am enjoying the book.

Work is going to pick up drastically this coming week. You may see slightly less of The League. Maybe Mrs. League will pick up the slack?

BTW, Duncan sort of lost that game. One or two better shots earlier on, or even that last shot, and the Spurs could have locked it up. Pretty poor showing for my two remaining teams.

The League Presents:
Suggestions for Further Reading (special edition)







For the previous SFFR, go here.