In a fascinating turn of events, Maxwell has stumbled into the weird, wicked world of the internet and current events.

Check out this most recent entry from Cowgirl Funk.

BATMAN BEGINS NEW TRAILER

Hey, kids...

MTV.com has a new trailer up for Batman Begins. The trailer is only Windows Media. So get out your Bill Gates emulators, Mac Users.

Read up on the movie and view the trailer here.

Thank God Batman didn't have to go up against Wesley Willis. We all know how that turns out.

In other Bat-related events... after the Rockets victory last night I attempted to watch the 1949 serial of Batman and Robin, which i re-joined Netflix specifically to check out. That, and I want to see House of Flying Daggers without paying full price for a DVD.

Let me begin by saying: The suit worn by Batman in this serial isn't nearly as menacing as it is sort of adorable. It looks like it was made by a second grader. Instead of Bat-ears, Batman sort of has these goofy cloth pegs coming off of his head. "Menacing" was clearly not the direction they were headed. You can't really get the full effect without seeing Batman in profile.


Batman and Robin ponder moving their secret headquarters out of a cave and into the sunroom out back

Also, it becomes painfully clear in the first fight scene how unweildy capes would be in an actual fist-fight.

I am not sure I have the stamina to make it through all 15 chapters of this epic. After all, each chapter is quite a bit longer than I figured on. Nonetheless, it is an interesting bit of archival Bat-fun, and the serial is closer to the comics of the time than I would have guessed.

The guy who plays Bruce Wayne is pretty good and certainly looks the part. His convenient excuse whenever he needs to slip away and become Batman? "I'm quite tired." The frequency with which he uses the excuse would, in today's world, have Bruce's friends insisting he receive treatment for chronic fatigue syndrome.

The plot revolves around a mad-scientist type called "The Wizard" who is using an amazing device which can control any vehicle by remote. He's using it, of course, to steal diamonds, which the machine needs to run (no explanation given on how that works, but it is also, coincidentally, the same way Mr. Freeze's Cold-Suit works). So, The Wizard has his machines and minions out stealing diamonds in order to make sure the machine will run. Circular logic, I assure you, but the Wizard seems to have something even more sinsiter up his sleeve.

The girl who plays Vicki Vale is a cute, spunky photographer who, we are told, suspects Bruce is Batman, but doesn't get suspicious when he, say, dumps her off on the roadside after hearing an explosion, saying he must go catch a quick nap.

Robin is there, but, honestly, the actor seems either distracted or drunk. He's sort of a goofy looking guy, too, and probably 5-10 years too old to be anybody's ward. He also looks liek he's about to get his ass handed to him every time a fight scene breaks out.

Anyway, it's all in good fun.

So today sucked.

Lucy is having tummy trouble, and so I had to take her once again to the vet. I'm several hundred bucks out after an X-ray, medicine, blah blah blah...

And that's the tough thing about puppies. You can't ask them what's wrong, you just have to sort of hope the vet can put all the pieces together. Anyway, the x-ray came back fine, which means she didn't eat a rock or something. She's had lab work done, so now I'm waiting for that blood work to come back. Apparently she also had a worm of some sort, so she needed medicine for that.

Man.

She's an expensive little bug.

Anyway, she seems to be doing better, but she's going to spend tonight and tomorrow in her kennel. I'm just a little too overprotective.

Thanks to my second trip to the vet in as many working days, I missed ANOTHER day of work. I hate missing work this much. It's so hard to keep up and make up what you missed.

At least my cold is getting better.

Jim has confirmed Flash Gordon for the movie screenings in Beaumont on July 23rd.

Leaguers, if that can't get you there, I don't know what will.

Honestly, I never saw Flash Gordon until I was in college. And in a lot of ways, I'm glad it took me that long to see it. I think it took a little perspective for me to really just sit back and enjoy that flick.

Anyway, 2:12 left in the Dallas/ Houston play-off game #2 in Dallas. No surprise I'm pulling for Houston. Although Sura still bugs me for some reason. Why is that?

Oh, and there was an ad on during the game for some cellular service, and Top Notch Burger from Burnet in Austin was in the ad. They framed the shot so you couldn't tell it was in the middle of suburbia and were suggesting, if you are at Top Notch, you can't get cellular service. I suppose it doesn't matter that they picked an Austin landmark in the rest of the country, but it did throw me off. Hope I catch the commercial again, because I couldn't figure out where the next shots were done.

Damn, this game won't end. Time-outs never feel this long at the actual game thanks to the Gorilla and the cheerleaders and whatnot.

2.2 seconds left, and T-Mac made an incredible shot. Will Avery Johnson just punch Van Horn in the head? I would.

Ha ha... I hate Mark Cuban. What a dork.

Here's his blog.

Hey, the Rockets won! Dallas is sad. Perhaps the ball on Reunion tower will quit spinning. I went there once when I was six. My parents kept giving me shrimp. I love shrimp.

T-Mac is hilarious. He always looks bored, even when he's destroying Mark Cuban's good humor. Oh, happy Houston fans still hanging out with dejected Dallas fans.

Yao kicked ass tonight. He is a happy genetic freak.

Hurray, Rockets!

So, this past week will surely go down in my personal history as The Week of General Annoyance and Chaos.

Returning home from last weekend's wedding, I felt a bit drained. Tuesday by lunch, I pretty much knew I was not going to make it to work on Wednesday (especially when, in the middle of sentences, my throat would sort of quit making noises, and I sounded like someone was turning my personal volume up and down).

Wednesday I stayed home, tried to take it easy, and generally felt pretty lousy.

Thursday I went to work, felt awful, skipped out early and I have no idea what I did or said Monday, Tuesday or Thursday while I was in the office.

Thursday night around 4:30 a.m., Lucy began hacking with a horrible cough. She's a puppy, and, naturally, I totally wigged out. But at the same time, my vet's office doesn't even open until 8:00, and aside from the hacking cough, she seemed fine. "It's Kennel Cough," Jamie and I decided and went back to bed to try to sleep.

At 8:00 I finally got ahold of the vet, got an appointment for 11:30, realized I was still pretty sick, and flopped on the couch.

By 9:30, Lucy was now no longer coughing. She was just hopping about in the yard looking happy as a clam.

At 11:10 I tossed her in the portable kennel and got her to the vet. The only coughing she would do was when she would pull too hard on her collar. "Oh, it's kennel cough," they said. Told me it's viral, sucks to be me, and told me to wait it out. I got an anti-biotic (in case it wasn't viral) and was told to give my puppy robitussin. Seriously.

Lucy hasn't coughed since.

That didn't keep her from crying for no reason at 12:00 Friday night, which got her butt kicked outside until the next morning.

Saturday Jamie got up before me, made pancake batter, woke me up, told me it was pancake time. We had lovely pancakes.

I was still sipping my tea when she leaped up and began cleaning the dishes. After washing and drying the large, class cutting board, she took a sharp left turn from the sink to put the cutting board onto the island and turned directly into the open dishwasher door. This has the effect of putting a massive hole in her leg that was gross and bloody.

To her credit, 1) Jamie put the cutting board down square on the counter. 2) She never yelled, or cried or passed out. And believe me, this gash was worth yelling, crying and passing out about.

Long story short, we lost Saturday at the emergency room while Jamie got sutures in her leg to make sure she didn't unravel like a cheap sweater.

After we got back from the ER, we more or less took it easy.

Last night we saw Kung Fu Hustle, which is, Leaguers, the best entertainment for your dollar in the cinema at this moment. Great action, very funny, and a pretty good story.

I never saw Kill Bill (either Vol. 1 or 2), and I sort of got the feeling that the scenes with Lucy Liu must have lifted bits from Kung Fu Hustle. If anyone has seen both movies, let me know.

The day, today, went fine. Ran some errands. Bought some pants (khaki and olive) and a belt (black, leather, gold finish belt buckle) and an official Amare Stoudemire jersey I found on sale for half off.

And how did this come in handy? Leaguers, Mr. and Mrs. League spent this glorious evening witnessing Game 1 of Round 1 for the Phoenix Suns in the 2005 NBA Play-Offs.

Boo-yah.

The Grizzlies played a good game, but just didn't have it in them to defeat the mighty Phoenix Suns in this game. Game 2 might be another story. Tonight, however, The Suns landed a 114-103 win.

(What the @%$& happened to the Spurs, man? Let me tell you, The Purple Palace went beserk when they heard that score announced.)

Sadly, our seats were surrounded by many more children this time than the previous game, and some sweet, white haired ladies two rows down, so I felt compelled to self-edit before shouting at the refs, Grizzlies, and the Gorilla.

And, before you ask... no, the half-time show was not the Blues Bothers again. But, they did keep a theme of blue. This game had The Blue Man Group at half-time. These guys were actually pretty fun. Unfortunately, nobody will ever get me to pay for Blue Man tickets in the future now that I have seen them more or less for free.

Anyhow, my voice is gone and I'm still in a good mood, despite my otherwise jacked-up week.

Suns in the play-offs. Hurray!

Even in comics, hindsight is 20/20.

You guys should check out this blog. Thanks to Shoemaker for sending the link.

One of my birthday gifts was a DVD of what is sure to be an instant classic, "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra."

People, I can't recommend this movie enough. Thrills, chills and spine-tingling adventure.

And in the world of politics, Jamie sends this one along.

SUPERMAN RETURNS SUPERSUIT REVEALED

Well, we all knew it was going to come down to the costume. It looks great in cartoons in animation, but in real life, it can be a bit... uh... well.

Anyway, it ain't all bad, but I confess... I am surprised at how brief his briefs are. I was also hoping for a larger "S", but the one they do have is very cool.

And, really... thank God, because I was expecting to see fake muscles or unnecessary bevelling or something somewhere on the suit. But, nope... he just looks... like.. Superman, I guess.

By the way, I dig the "S" belt buckle. If you're going to change something, nice add-on.

I'm also a fan of a bright red on my Superman, but I can appreciate the change.

Whatever. I've seen it now and I didn't laugh out loud when I saw it. And that's something.

Now if the guy in the suit can act (and/ or make me believe he can shoot heat out of his eyes...)

THE LEAGUE INVITES YOU TO ENJOY AN AFTERNOON AND EVENING IN PICTURESQUE BEAUMONT, TEXAS


So I spent today at home sick, but I'll return to work tomorrow.

Since I was not entirely energetic, I spent the day doing a little mental homework by reviewing my Superman: The Movie DVD, and then watching the bonus features.

Why do this again?

Have you forgotten so quickly, Leaguers?

Jim D. has locked in a print of Superman: The Movie, and he's showing it at the beautiful Jefferson Theater in idyllic Beaumont, Texas. The screenings will occur the evening of July 22nd and the afternoon of July 23rd. In addition to the screenings of Superman: The Movie, Jim is also trying to get a print of the 1980 sci-fi extravaganza, Flash Gordon (starring Max von Sydow).


The League does not recommend you try this one at home...

I have some reading and brushing up to do in regards to Superman: The Movie as our own Jim D. has asked The League to blather on for a few minutes before the movie begins. And The League doesn't like being unprepared when we have to look into the impassive eyes of an irritable East-Texas audience.

I think Jim wants for me to plan an amusement or two for the lobby, but short of offering to shave everyone's head in true Lex Luthor fashion, I am not yet sure what to offer.

So what is The League saying?

Loyal Leaguers, book your flights and hotel rooms now, because The League is going to pastoral Beaumont, Texas for about 24 hours. Post-screening, Jim D. has promised the finest food of The East, and that we shall haunt the hippest bar in all of Beaumont until the wee, wee hours.

Sounds like a peach of a plan, and I'm on it.

July 23rd. We'll make it a Super-League weekend in bucolic Beaumont, Texas.

The first 50 Leaguers to show up will receive a punch in the breadbasket from Mrs. League.


The Man of Steel looks on from 50,000 ft. as Mrs. League slugs another Leaguer.

The League has fallen ill, Leaguers. Some yucky hacking and wheezing has accompanied blood coming out of my tear ducts. No, not really. I think I just picked up Cousin Jim's cold a bit during the wedding.

MONKEYS IN THE NEWS

Anyhoo, The League has raised himself from his sick bed with a tale of caution for these egg-head scientists. Have these scientists never borne witness to humanity's final fate?

Oh, when will we learn to quit playing God?


Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, people. Watch and learn...

***UPDATE***

It ain't just egghead scientists trying to use chimps for their own nefarious purposes.

Fellow comic/ monkey enthusiast and blogger Heidi has dug up this article on the Mesa, AZ police department vis-a-vis the use of our simian chums.

Or, cut right to the chase and read the article here.

In celebration of the the election of Benedict the XVI to the Papacy, I give you the lyrics to Ben, by Michael Jackson.

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me
(you've got a friend in me)

Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go
(you've got a place to go)

I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend) Like Ben
(like Ben) Like Ben

So the Superman Homepage is nuts with pics from the set of Superman Returns.

I am sure they didn't count on the webmaster for the world's largest Superman website to live in the suburbs of Sydney when they shot the movie in Australia.

It sounds as if Bryan Singer has figured out who intrepid webmaster Steve Younis is, and doesn't mind photos being taken. Sure, some things are sort of spoiler-y. But I can't tell you how great it is to see this movie coming together. Especially as what they seem to be doing is surpassing all of my expectations.

In case there was ANY doubt that these movies are sequels to the original Superman movies, check out Brandon Routh as Clark Kent.



For VIDEO of Brandon Routh as CK, go to the source at The Superman Homepage.

Word is that a photo of Routh in full Superman garb will be released soon. And you bet your sweet Aunt Gertie that The League will be here to show it to you.

We are back.

I am very tired. That whole two hour time difference can wreak a small bit of havoc on your schedule.

The wedding was great. I got to be in it and wear a tuxedo and everything. Steanso was also in tux as well, but did not cut so fine a figure as The League.

John B's family came in from parts mid-western and yon, while Julie's family is mostly based out of Houston, so there we got to meet quite a few from both sides. Good folks.

The League thinks dancing is mostly a very silly affair, but was not afraid to cut a rug when Mrs. League hit the dance floor (she is quite a dancer, you should know). The League managed to pull off "The Batusi" without drawing too much attention to himself, but attempts at "The Robot" drew more attention than The League was expecting.

Leaguers, if there is an official dance of League HQ, it is, without a question, The Robot. Yes, yes... Batman has the Batusi and Superman has the Krypton Crawl, but nothing beats the sheer joy of locking and popping to darn near any song.

The League was totally getting into his locking and popping, and was just beginning to get an appreciative audience when the DJ switched songs and chose a very Robot-unfriendly tune to play. Dammit, I had "Brass Monkey" going and a circle of folks clapping to the beat. That hadn't happened since, like, 5th grade. Or my own wedding. Whatever.

I also managed to catch up with John's brother, Jim, and meet his wife. Cool couple. In addition to being a naval aviator, apparently Jim also raises Alpacas in the Nevada wilderness. So if Jim comes down to Phoenix for an Alpaca Show (no, I don't know, either...) I may get to see he and Michelle. And that ain't a bad thing.

Anyway, John and Julie are now safely married. It was a good time had by all. I wsh them the best, even though I know they'll get it anyway. Can't wait to get back to Houston to see them without all this wedding stuff going on.

The League is out for a few days. John B is marrying Julie L in The Woodlands, Texas. The Bros. Steans will be appearing for the wedding, and we'll even be decked out in tux.

I'm very happy for John B. and Julie L. Those too kids deserve the best.

See you guys sometime next week.

In the meantime, Alex Ross is doing one of 2 covers for the release of the first issue of the new Green Lantern comic series.




Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan! Hal Jordan!

The League Grumbles about The End of Youth

I didn't reflect too much on being 30, but here we go.

On the night of my 30th birthday, after Jamie had drifted off to Sleepytime Junction, I was up and reading comics with the TV on.

Although I was not looking at the television, my attention was piqued as the opening bars to Jane's Addiction's 1990 release, Mountain Song, from Nothing's Shocking came from the speakers.

Coors Beer is using Mountain Song in a new commercial.

You can read the press release here, but here's the jist of it.

"Ice City" - Re-edit by Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago
Music: Jane's Addiction "Mountain Song"
Tagline: "Taste the Cold"
Summary: This spot, which was originally created by the Leith Agency and was re-edited by Foote Cone & Belding, shows how a Rocky Mountain cold Coors Light can turn a dreary hot summer day into a wonderful icy-cold experience.

League's editor's note: Yeah. That's what Coors does for me, especially in Houston during the summer, when it's 105 degrees with 95% humidity. It feels just like the snow capped peeks of the Rockies once you get a six pack of Coors in your belly.

I don't really listen to any Jane's Addiction any more. But I did once, and certainly this particular tune was a sort of hallmark song for my teen-age years. The tune is tied up with some good memories and whatnot, and it's not Coors' fault that this sort of diminishes all of that.

Co- opting music is hardly a novel concept. It's not as if songs other people liked weren't used before in order to sell products, or even products I don't personally like. And it's not as if performers I had previously believed weren't pre-disposed to selling their songs for commercials hadn't cashed in before.

Who knows what the amount of cash was that the owners of the song received for use in the Coors commercial? Sure, it's their song, and they can do as they please... It does, however, complete the long journey the band has been taking in consumer acceptance since their initial break-up.

At the time the song was released, the song (and band, and the album) were not favorites of the kids at my school. They could have their Bobby Brown records and Paula Abdul, or whatever. But you wait fifteen years, and while the song certainly has waned in it's preciousness, I find I can still feel protective of it. At one point, it had value and merit.

But that's what happens, I guess. Wait fifteen years and some ad exec just flips through a catalog of songs until he can find a song with a title including the word "mountain" to go along with his "head for the mountains" campaign, cut a check, and that's it. Everybody involved gets a little richer. The ownership you might have felt out of pure emotional attachment doesn't figure in. The dollar almighty speaks louder than that.

I know, I know. None of this is news.

But you start wondering... did the ad exec like this song at some point in their life, too? And if they did, would this be the fate they'd want for the song? An overplayed soundclip timed to pictures of happy frat boys in the mountains? How did they put it? This spot ... shows how a Rocky Mountain cold Coors Light can turn a dreary hot summer day into a wonderful icy-cold experience.

These are the same people who want to make Gene Kelly break dance to sell Volkswagons, and dig up Steve McQueen and make him drive through a corn field to sell Fords... there ain't nothing wrong with it, right? Or, my favorite, taking the images of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, putting sunglasses on them and having them shriek like extreme dudes about the good deals on the local water park.

These were the kids who never played in the woods enough growing up to know that when something is dead you leave it alone, you don't touch, and you move on. You don't pick it up and swing it around just because you can.

In the grand scheme of things, this is way far below my absolute horror at some of my other experiences in disillusionment. This commercial rates that mild sort of annoying feeling that baseball fans probably get when they think about McGwire and steroids.

Part of being an adult, I guess, is finding out that there is really no end to the series of disappointments you'll discover in regards to the ideological high-hopes you established during your formative years. The trauma might come from finding out that was Dad in the Santa suit, it might be that you realize your vote really doesn't count, it might be that the crazy rock band from your youth is now buying sports cars with proceeds from a dumb commercial.

Toys That Should Not Be

Oh, Leaguers... finally a TTSNB which I may actually purchase.

McFarlane Toys/ Spawn has just grabbed a license to make "action figures" of three characters from the 2004 movie "Napolean Dynamite."

Sweet.

Hey, not sure how much you guys care, but there have been set photos and other stuff all over the place from the new Superman movie.

I recommend popping over to The Superman Homepage.

Here's some photos.

Here are some more pics.

here's the logo for the new flick.


shiny..!

Not much time tonight, so I thought I'd go to an idea Steven G. Harms posted not so long ago.

Steven G. Harms recently posted this, and I thought we could have another round of blogger compare/ contrast if you Loyal Leaguers wnat to chime in on your own blogs or in the Comments section.

Basically, Harms is asking: if you could have 6 television personalities sit down at your dinner table, who would you pick and why?

I am assuming he means actors, not characters. He probably also means real humans and not computer generated nor animated ones.

1) John Goodman - This guy has had an interesting career full of artistic highlights in film and odd choices for prime-time programming. He's been around the block a few times as an actor, and I bet he'd be an interesting guy. He never appeared in Pootie Tang.

2) Bob Costas - If there's one guy I routinely ask, "What's up with this guy?", it's Costas. Again, interesting and varied career. And he was willing to be the framing device for Pootie Tang, the best movie of the past ten years.

3) Wanda Sykes - Again with Pootie Tang. Wanda seems like she'd keep the table interesting without becoming caustic.

4) John Stewart - Sure, he wasn't in Pootie Tang, but he should have been. If I couldn't get Stewart, I'd certainly take Colbert.

5) David Cross - Only had a cameo in Pootie Tang, but nonetheless, I'd want him at the table. This was a tough one as I initially began writing "Will Arnett", but between Mr. Show and Arrested Development, I think I have to go with David Cross.

6) James Lipton - Seriously, is there anybody less deserving of their own show than this maniac? Well, maybe Geraldo Rivera. Yet, I can't shake the feeling that Lipton would be just the spice this dinner salad needs. There's nothing like adding someone to your group who has no idea he's insane.

Alternate) Gillian Anderson - Probably has never even heard of Pootie Tang, but I forgive her. She is invited to my table as long as she doesn't mind me staring at her creepily the entire time. She always seems sort of boring in interviews, so I'm not sure what she would bring to the conversation. I just want to stare at her.

Thanks to Randy for first posting his own examples, and then pointing everyone to the "personalize yourself as South Park" link.


The League


Mrs. League


Steanso

First things first:

Everyone congratulate Jill Hermann-Wilmarth. For today is both the 8-month birthday of Arden, and Jill succesfully defended her dissertation. That means Jill is now a doctor. But not the kind of doctor who will ask you to turn your head to the side and cough.

Jill's dissertation was entitled "Various flavors of ice-creams which are pink, oh how I love them." I'm surprised they allowed her to pursue such a track, but after 800 pages, even I believe Jill really loves most flavors of ice cream with a pink hue.

Jill is going off to teach in the greater Kalamazoo area. No, really. She's moving to Kalamazoo, Michigan. Apparently she's going to be bossing a lot of undergrads and grading on an unfair bell-curve. They have a very active ice-cream department at Kalamazoo State.

Secondly:

Thanks to all of you folks who wrote in for the warm birthday wishes. Between the comments section, e-mails and phone calls, The League doesn't feel abandoned at all out here in the desert. We feel truly lucky to have so many good friends out there in internet land. It definitely makes up for the all the angry voices in The League's head.

Thus far it's been a Super Birthday. I've gotten some great gifts, including some great stuff from both the real parents and the add-on parents from Oklahoma. Let's just say I'm that much closer to being a master chess strategist and Guardian of Sector 2814.

Jamie has provided me with two new friends for my birthday. 1) Lucy the Wonderpup, and 2) Mr. B, my new robot buddy. Between the three of us, I am sure we have a sitcom ready to go.

Anyway, thanks once again for the birthday wishes. You Leaguers are the best.


Mr. B says to say "hello..... Wesley."

Thirdly:

If you can find it, you must seek out Clone High. Best cartoon since Futurama.

Really, how many other shows have clones of Ghandi and Abraham Lincoln and a robot butler?

Fourthly

Falconry? You're on. You get the bird, I'll get the dead rats and work gloves.

Big cats at the B&B.

This has such a Jurassic Park/ Westworld vibe to it, I am waiting only a few months for the tragic follow-up report.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEAGUE!!!

Love, Mrs. League, Melbotis, Lucy, and Jeff the Cat.

Hey, everybuddy - as you know by now the League turns 30 today. YAY! And thus ends the three week period of tormenting Mrs. League about what an old lady she is. Anyway, the League pets have worked up a little dance routine they'll be performing later today and it's a damn shame none of you will get to see it. It includes a grand finale featuring a large slingshot and landing pad for Jeff the Cat. We at League HQ love the League dearly and hope he has a most GRAND DAY!