League of Melbotis

The Enigmatic Eighth Question.

So this turned out a little different from what I had in mind, but, you know, you're all beings of free will. And The League is here to help you voice your mind, God help us all.

Anyhoo, things get decidedly partisan up in here. So, you know, try not to go all monkeyshit on me here in the comments section if you have a beef with how this turned out.

Others of you seemed highly reluctant to participate. Suspiciously reluctant.

Question 8:

God help me, but when I saw this on the news, I was secretly gleeful

Eric Nordtrom: When Katie Couric got shit on by that bird.

Tamara: (editor's note: No answer)

Natalie: Tom Delay indicted. Heh.

Jim D.: I am not sure that any news make me gleeful, secretive or otherwise.

Ryan V: I got nothing.

Peabo: The riots in France. Of course, it is tragic that anyone would lose their life in such events, but after all their anti-American policy hullabaloo, and higher than thou attitude towards resolving Islamic fanaticism with speeches and olive branches, you had to imagine the head scratching going on when those same disgruntled Islamic youths almost burned down their city. Almost as funny as the U.N. probe revealing they were getting kickbacks and violating the food for oil program. Might want to watch the stone throwing over in that glass house you call a country.

Denise: New Orleans evacuees were evacuated from Houston during Hurricane Rita. I was seriously happy to hear this. Unfortunately, many found their way back to Houston. Hummm…how to get rid of them again…

RHPT: This is going to paint me in a bad light, but I'm always secretly gleeful when something happens that negatively affects (effects?) Bush. I don’t think it’s because I’m so partisan, but simply because he wasn’t the horse I backed. I’m highly competitive, and I hate it when the team/person/thing I’m rooting for loses and in turn I end up despising the winner. Did I mention I am a sore loser?

Nathan: The nature of this question scares me for some reason. I fear it might lead me to a dark place.

Social Bobcat: (editor's note: no answer)

Maxwell: You mean Cheney was actually holding a smoking gun?

Harms: I lament the loss of life in New Orleans, really. But I'm fascinated by Katrina's side effects

* New Orleans was a hole, a stinky, fetid, sweaty, humid hole. Yet it was something distinctly American and it deserves to rise again. Yet in America we've never seen a city razed in modern times. It seems to be our "Death in Venice" moment.

* Ray Nagin. What a nut. He should have a talk show on Fox. Chocolate city, you couldn't make that stuff up.

* Barbara Bush: Almost everyone I've talked to said we're going to move to Houston. What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. (Said with concern.) Everybody is so overwhelmed by all the hospitality. And so many of the peoples in the arena here, you know, they're underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them.

It almost explains why GWB turned to drinking and eyebrow plucking.

* Is Tool right: The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. And will the city that returns be the Disney version: a simulacrum of real Disney?

Steanso: Hurricane Rita hits Beaumont. I already had houseguests staying with me for ACL Fest, so when my parents called me to see if they could evacuate to my house from their place in Houston, I had to tell them there was no more room at the inn. Once they found out my house wasn't an option, my parents decided to ride out the storm in Houston instead of getting a hotel or staying with my cousin in Austin, thereby setting me up for a lifetime of guilt if the hurricane had hit Houston and wreaked Katrina-like damage. Sorry, Beaumont, but thank you for avoiding Houston, Rita.

CrackBass: Civil war in Iraq. Sucks for everyone, but I just hope people get rid of GW Jr.

Reed-o: I can't narrow this one down. Again, I have been secretly gleeful each time I see the current administration screw up, and do exactly what was predicted by naysayers and experts. Whether, it's the growing disparity between rich and poor, the mishandling of Katrina, the mishandling of Iraq, the pervasive corruption, the leaking of classified information, the destruction of personal freedoms, the raping of the Constitution and Bill of Rights, the lack of funding for No Child Left Behind, the trillion dollar deficit, etc. Each time they screw the American people and the world, I am secretly gleeful because that's who the American people decided in 2004 was the best person and party to run the most powerful country in the world, but not me. You made your bed now lie in it. I think I'm getting too cynical.

D. Loyd: I can't say it. It would get me killed.

Jamie: The passing of Slobodan Milosevic. I am not one who believes in death as punishment, but this guy was one evil bastard.

The League: Jesus H. Christ, people. I was just going to say something about an olympic skiier falling off a mountain or something. This questions was actually prompted by an experience I had during the Olympics when I found myself laughing really hard and being simultaneously horrified watching someone who had knocked themself out on the luge and was still cruising down the pipe, totally unconscious. It was funny, like when a clown dies.

THE RESULTS:

Well, a fair number of you like to see Bush fail. That seems to be a crowd pleaser. Depending on your POV, you must spend quite a bit of time giggling and clapping your hands. I am sure some of you are even now smoothing your ruffled feathers after reading this list. I shall keep it simple and say that the most Leaguers have a good hearty guffaw when the president is proven wrong.

The "?" goes out to Jim D., whose answer I do not understand, and if I do understand it, what sort of emotionless robot has Jim D. become? How sad.

Maxwell gets points for making me laugh.

Nordstrom gets double extra points for singling out Kouric's deserved misfortune.

D. Loyd gets points for paranoia.

Nathan wins the most points for rightfully turning away from the darkness within.

Peabo loses a few points for not finding a way to also condemn the Canadians. No particular reason. It's just part of our platform here at The League. Unreasoning hatred for Canada.