Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Era Resumes

Sometimes (when you're single) you meet a really nice girl. She's pretty, and she's funny, and she even agrees with you that Trompe Le Monde by The Pixies is a pretty good album, when everyone else in the world thinks it wasn't a great effort. You have a good first date, and you think "Wow, this is it!"

At he beginning she mentioned she liked mountain biking, and while you weren't that into mountain biking, you thought "That's fine! I can go mountain biking every once in a while. We love The Pixies!" But then when you go out the next time, all she talks about is how you're going to go mountain biking. She talks about tire types, changing tires, handle grips and certain kinds of dirt on certain kinds of paths.

So, you bring up The Pixies, and you realize the only Pixies album she actually owns is Trompe Le Monde.

Figuring it's a fluke, you try again and she insists on actually going mountain biking. So you figure, "Ah, that's okay. I can try this."

So you go mountain biking. And while you've ridden a bike before, you aren't keeping up because, honestly, who takes a two-wheeled vehicle under your own power into rocky terrain?

You go out again, and it's more mountain biking. More talk of mountain biking. More trails and rocks. Anyway, she's being sort of encouraging.

But you realize, "She doesn't just like her mountain biking, she NEEDS to go mountain biking." So as pretty and funny as she is, and even though she also likes Trompe Le Monde (in her own way) you realize that maybe this isn't such a good idea.

And so, anyway, you call it off sort of abruptly. No doubt she's pissed. After all, you liked biking, didn't you?

So you're single again, and you sort of talked her up to everyone, so what does that make you?


J.S. said...

The part of the metaphor that you left out is where this girl is your only source of food, shelter, and clothing.

Anonymous said...

doolittle was a better album.

i've seen a girl fall off a mountain bike and break all her front teeth. (very bloody, tearful, ugly, and painful.)

the next girl will be far prettier and funnier and won't even mention mountain biking.

put on the stetson and set out to meet the prettier, funnier girl.

T.S.T. said...

Are you officially single again, pick up the metaphor I *think* you are throwing down? Or are you just considering it?

The League said...

I am officially *ahem* single again.

Laura said...

Well man, I'm sure she was nice and all, but a girl who NEEDS to go mountain biking would probably just give you weeks of grief and maybe a bloody nose. (And anyone who denies the internet is a straight up prude.)

The League said...

It would probably help readers to understand that I am speaking of a metaphorical girl of your dreams and a metaphorical reason for breaking up.

Sorry if I was skewing too far into my own head.

Anonymous said...

Dude, these crazy posts are playin' wit' my head!!!!

lee said...

I'm with Nate Dogg on this. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over.

T.S.T. said...

Years of formal training in deciphering the writings of people probably skewing too far into their own heads have finally paid off for me, I guess. (Grad degrees in philosophy damned well better pay off somehow, 'cause it's not in dollars and cents, I can promise you that.)

Seriously, though, you thought it would work out, and it didn't. No worries. Not really. There are other fish in the sort of sea you're talking about too.

Anonymous said...

I've changed my mind. I'm not going to date. There's no way I'm going to take a chance of getting roped into mountain biking.