Thanks to Randy for first posting his own examples, and then pointing everyone to the "personalize yourself as South Park" link.


The League


Mrs. League


Steanso

First things first:

Everyone congratulate Jill Hermann-Wilmarth. For today is both the 8-month birthday of Arden, and Jill succesfully defended her dissertation. That means Jill is now a doctor. But not the kind of doctor who will ask you to turn your head to the side and cough.

Jill's dissertation was entitled "Various flavors of ice-creams which are pink, oh how I love them." I'm surprised they allowed her to pursue such a track, but after 800 pages, even I believe Jill really loves most flavors of ice cream with a pink hue.

Jill is going off to teach in the greater Kalamazoo area. No, really. She's moving to Kalamazoo, Michigan. Apparently she's going to be bossing a lot of undergrads and grading on an unfair bell-curve. They have a very active ice-cream department at Kalamazoo State.

Secondly:

Thanks to all of you folks who wrote in for the warm birthday wishes. Between the comments section, e-mails and phone calls, The League doesn't feel abandoned at all out here in the desert. We feel truly lucky to have so many good friends out there in internet land. It definitely makes up for the all the angry voices in The League's head.

Thus far it's been a Super Birthday. I've gotten some great gifts, including some great stuff from both the real parents and the add-on parents from Oklahoma. Let's just say I'm that much closer to being a master chess strategist and Guardian of Sector 2814.

Jamie has provided me with two new friends for my birthday. 1) Lucy the Wonderpup, and 2) Mr. B, my new robot buddy. Between the three of us, I am sure we have a sitcom ready to go.

Anyway, thanks once again for the birthday wishes. You Leaguers are the best.


Mr. B says to say "hello..... Wesley."

Thirdly:

If you can find it, you must seek out Clone High. Best cartoon since Futurama.

Really, how many other shows have clones of Ghandi and Abraham Lincoln and a robot butler?

Fourthly

Falconry? You're on. You get the bird, I'll get the dead rats and work gloves.

Big cats at the B&B.

This has such a Jurassic Park/ Westworld vibe to it, I am waiting only a few months for the tragic follow-up report.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEAGUE!!!

Love, Mrs. League, Melbotis, Lucy, and Jeff the Cat.

Hey, everybuddy - as you know by now the League turns 30 today. YAY! And thus ends the three week period of tormenting Mrs. League about what an old lady she is. Anyway, the League pets have worked up a little dance routine they'll be performing later today and it's a damn shame none of you will get to see it. It includes a grand finale featuring a large slingshot and landing pad for Jeff the Cat. We at League HQ love the League dearly and hope he has a most GRAND DAY!

A special birthday treat from me to you.

Remember the Choose Your Own Adventure books from back in the 80's?

Thanks to the magic of Photoshop, now you can enjoy them all over again.

Mad props to Retrocrush.com for posting the link first.

Madder props to Something Awful for even coming up with this.

Now go forth and Choose Your Own Adventure.

So.

The League turns 30. Can you beat that?

That means I've been on Spaceship Earth for 30 rotations around the sun. 30.

My crazy twenties are officially over. It's all white slacks and white shoes from here on out.

Have I learned anything of value in this time? My friends, I have learned one all important thing: You don't need to tip if it's a buffet, but it's good karma to do so.

And so, on this, my 30th birthday, I turn to David Byrne, who always says it better than me.


Once In A Lifetime


And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
wife
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...

Warrior Story - Update!

So, if you want to know why The League always has something nice to say about everybody (except Canadians, who eat babies), it's because The League needs money for comics and doesn't need to deal with a terrible libel suit.

Sounds like the groovy website "Something Awful" has gotten into a bit of a snit with Warrior following their coverage of Warrior's recent appearance at UConn.

read more here