League of Melbotis

POLL POSITION

Well, another month has come and gone. And that means (a) its time to review the results of a poll, and (b) its time for Randy to harass me about not having up a new poll less than 12 hours into the new month.

Thanks, Randy. You do know there's no prize for reminding me about the polls, right?

Anyway, let's take a look at the poll question and results:


Halloween is coming up. What should I give the kiddies who come to my door on the night of the 31st?

-a penny: 10% / 2 votes

-popcorn balls: 0% / 0 votes

-a bowl of cereal: 5% / 1 vote

-a good talking to about what trick 'o treating was like when I was a kid: 5% / 1 vote

-coupons clipped from the Sunday paper: 0% / 0 votes

-a jury summons: 15% / 3 votes

-a shot of Windex, right in the eye: 15% / 3 votes

-a scathing critique of their choice of costume: 15% / 3 votes

-Jamie's old shoes: 0% / 0 votes

-extra candy if Mommy is good looking: 35% / 7 votes

20 votes total

It appears that a large plurality agrees that when Mommy is a cutie, it is time to start bribing the kids. Sadly, I was only in charge of comic book distribution. Jamie handled the candy hand-outs, so no extra candy was dispersed.

Some kids certainly deserved a scathing critique of their LACK of costume, and I think we had two or three of this year's Power Ranger get-up before I identified what I was looking at. With a pleated cape and intricate design, it looked a bit more like a refugee from the reject pile of the Lil' Liberace collection.

Also, one of our Supermans was wearing vampire teeth.

I asked around, and apparently I am not licensed by Travis County and may not select kiddies for a Jury pool. Too bad, because those kids seemed qualified to handle the intricacies of our judicial system. Especially the little boy from down the street who was dressed as a turtle, and, despite the fact he was holding his Dad's hand, kept pointing at me and shouting "Daddy!"

That kid can't prove anything until he subpoenas me for a DNA sample.

The Windex in the eye? You get one shot at that, and then the police come. I really wanted a far more relaxing Halloween than what that was going to afford me.

I don't actually keep pennies. Pennies are for pitching. Especially from the window of the car when you drive past old people on their scooters. So no pennies were handed out. And Jamie is too stingy to share her Boo-Berry, so we kept that to ourselves.

Anyhoo, good poll. See you again next month.