Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The Interview

Over at Cowgirl Funk a friend recently interviewed Maxwell. The format: 5 questions of the interviewee's choosing.

Read the interview here

At the end of the interview, Maxwell suggested that anyone else who wanted to play could post to the comments section. Totally without any ideas for content this week, I opted in. Also, I was deadly curious to hear what questions Maxwell would toss The League's way.

This is how the interview went down:

1. I heard you like comic books. Oh, I don't know, a little bird told me. Do you remember getting your first comic book? (And if not, tell us about the first one you remember.) Where did you buy it? What
was the story line? Etc.

The first comic I remember reading was a Bugs Bunny comic book where he was singing "I Dream of the Genie with the Long Pink Ears". I didn't get the joke. But I liked the pictures and I could hear the character's voices in my head as I read along. No idea where it came from. I just had it.

The first non-kiddie comic I remember was either an adaptation of “The Last Starfighter” or “Clash of the Titans”. I didn’t actually see Clash of the Titans until high school, but I knew the whole movie back and forth from reading and re-reading the Marvel Comics adaptation. The art was fairly good, and the story really lended itself to the comic format. I think I got it through Troll Book Order.

The first superhero comic I remember reading was probably a DC 80 Page Giant with a lead story about the Teen Titans. The story was that all of the adult superheroes had died or disappeared and only the Teen Titans were left to fight the bad guys. I have no idea what the comic was, but I do remember being totally freaked out by the death of all the adult superheroes. If anyone could ever tell me what that comic was, I’d be eternally grateful.

The comic which got me to begin following a comic (and I am ashamed to admit this) was West Coast Avengers #13. Some dude named Gravitron was working with other supervillains using the various forces inside of a atom (Gravity, Strong force, Weak Force, Electro magnetic force).

I think I got both this comic and the Teen Titans comic at the Chicago airport.

None of this held a candle to X-Men #210 which launched me into a lifetime of obsessive behavior.

What is the best superpower ever and which superhero uses it?

The best super power is probably being able to show no discernable talent and still have your own TV show and best selling album, and that honor goes to both Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

Most of the powers are pretty self-explanatory, but in the 90's, you sort of had to like Kid Eternity. Kid Eternity's weird-ass power was to be able to summon dead people from the afterlife to assist him in his adventures. Stuck on a physics problem: BAM! Nikola Tesla at your service.

Shade the Changing Man's power was that he was crazy, and whatever craziness he was perceiving would become reality around him. I think. The book eventually collapsed in a black hole of it's own weirdness. Actually, the 90's was a great era for Vertigo-style weirdo's, wasn't it?

2. My ten year high school reunion just happened.
Naw, I didn't go, but it got me thinking about the early 90's. You know, you were there. Answer these questions from the perspective of high school you.

Favorite shoes:
Being a complete bad-ass in high-school, I wore only cool shoes. I had the pre-req Doc’s and Chuck’s, but I honestly really liked wearing black, high-top Nikes. I admit, I still but new ones every once in a while. The early 90's continue to thrive on the feet of Ryan Steans.

Favorite shirt: 90’s? Oh, whatever concert shirt I thought made me look the most alt-rock. I had a very worn out Jane’s Addiction shirt I was quite fond of. Also, any solid black t-shirt was welcome. Yes, I was "that guy". Trying depsrately to be dark and mysterious, but, like everyone else, it's hard to be too tortured when you have doting parents and college-plans.

Favorite book I had to read: Like an assignment? I was the only person in my class who I think liked Scarlet Letter. But that’s probably because I deeply enjoy anything about people with red-letters printed on their chest. Also, I like reading about tramps.

I have little memory of what we were forced to read. I like Huckleberry Finn.

Favorite place to take a girl out for dinner: Well, The League was not a man of great means, and was more or less locked into taking 1 girl most places for most of high school. And we sort of don’t remember. It was probably the Bennigan’s at I-45 and 1960. Jesus, Spring was @#$%ing lame.

There was nowhere to go back then, and as I had a regular girlfriend I was footing the bill for, I was also the frugal boyfriend.

Favorite place to eat with my family: Marco’s! We all loved Marco’s Mexican Restaurant! Sure, we all got horrible gas and we all knew the stories about the recycled chips and we all knew people who worked there who would look really, really bored. But there was never any wait, I knew the menu backward and forward and it was loud enough that it drowned out the honking sounds my family tends to make when we're all at a single table.

Favorite before rehearsal snack: I’m not sure, specifically, what I liked to eat, but I do remember if I knew I had a kissing scene to work on that day I would eat a bag of “FunYuns” before rehearsal. I also would get the sandwiches from the gas station over by North Hampton. Also, Fritos.

Best band ever, man: I was all about the Jane’s Addiction in high school. My mother was always very upset with my Jane’s Addiction posters. Pixies, Violent Femmes, Siouxsie, The Cure, Pink Floyd and a host of less memorable bands. These days, Jane’s Addiction makes me sad. I mean, Dave Navarro, what sort of VH1 whore have you become?

It has been very strange to see Jane's Addiction become a standard for frat boys over the years. I sort of wish I'd done more than just watch 120 minutes to pick my bands.

I made a mix tape yesterday.
It started with: The Cure, “Killing an Arab”
It ended with: Pixies “Digging for Fire”

For lunch today I had: The hot lunch, whatever that was. I never liked the KO snack bar with the burgers and pizza. Also, the KO snack machines had these banana-flavored Hostess Pies that nobody else in the school liked. About once a week I’d get one of those. And every single day I tortured my dentist by getting a pack of “Now & Laters” from the book store.

Later I'm gonna watch: I didn’t watch normal TV in high school. I didn’t know what Home Improvement was until it went into syndication. Big, big fan of “USA Up All Night” movies and “Mystery Science Theater 3000”. I watched the Channel 2 News every night and I had a pathological hatred of former weatherman, Doug Johnston. That guy is such a @#$%.

This weekend I'm going to Lowes to see: Anything that comes to Lowes I perceive to be sort of snooty. Sadly, this is Lowes, so that means going to see something like “Dances With Wolves”. We also bypassed Lowes and drove up to the AMC at Greens Crossing.

The other day, the craziest thing happened: I learned that the Green Room in the theater is clothing optional. Other items I’m going to have to plead the 5th on. I am kicking myself trying to think of something crazy which I feel would be appropriate for my mother-in-law's reading pleasure, and nothing is coming to me.

There's this one janitor that likes to hug people: And I tried to hide from her under the benches in the lobby of the auditorium, but she grabbed my belt and literally drug me out from under the bench to give me a hug. And when I mentioned it to my parents, I found out weeks and weeks later (to my eternal horror) that my mother had called the school to yell at them about the janitor hugging me.

3. So, you live in the desert. Ever been to Sedona?
I hear it's a real hippy town.

This is a lie, and, sadly, no… I’ve never been there despite the proximity to Phoenix.

Sedona was once a hippy town, and then rich ass-wipes went to see the crazy hippy town, bought all the land and turned it into a vacation spot for the wealthy. Because Sedona is pretty, and not a bleak armpit like much of the Valley, the town is officially a playground for people who no longer have to work for a living. Houses run well into the millions, the shops are all over-priced antique boutiques, and the traffic getting in and out of town on the weekend is a nightmare as all the boring middle-class ass-wipes drive up to Sedona on the weekend because, aside from golf, there’s @#$%-all to do in Phoenix on the average weekend.

I have heard there are still a few hippy towns and communes scattered around Arizona. No idea where they are as we never leave The Valley of the Sun.

I have a buddy who lives in Sedona who got some insane retirement package and built a house with mountain views, but somehow we never plan far enough ahead to go and mooch off my pal.

According to the photos I see and the endless hours our PBS affiliate dedicates to showing elsewhere, AZ is a stunningly beautiful state. Just not around here.

4. You once said you would make yourself available to casting directors trying to cast blockbusters. Who would play you in a movie?

Clearly, Andy Richter would play the adult League. Young League would be played by someone curiously thinner and better looking. Maybe Taye Diggs? Mrs. League would be played by Kerri Kenney, Jeff the Cat would be played by Jean Reno (in a cat suit), Melbotis is played by Jeff Bridges (in a yellow dog suit), and Lucy would be played by a very drunk Dakota Fanning.

Also, Steanso would be played by Christopher Walken in a bear suit.

5. What is your favorite Starbucks beverage and why? How do you think this reflects on your personality?

The Cappucino. The League has been trying to get a good cappuccino since leaving Austin (the coffee shop at the RLM had a barista who made insanely good cappuccinos), and one must also consider the fact that The League is rigidly, suffocatingly traditional. We don’t need any fancy double-decaf mocha freezes. Just give me like five shots of espresso and some foam, dammit.


If you want to play along, feel free to raise your hand down in the comments section. The League will ask 5 questions. You may post to your own blog, or we shall post here, if you like.

In the next day or two I'll be sending Maxwell questions, and we'll see how it goes from there.

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