League of Melbotis

Melbotis Mailbag: Emergency Edition

RHPT writes:

Dear Mel,

The Mysterious M has gathered her 8 closest friends from high school in Nashville this weekend, and four of them have made camp at our house (with 4 more arriving tomorrow as reinforcements). They have overrun the house - now with women's undergarments strewn around the house [and not in the good way] - and cornered me into the office with nothing but a laptop, internet connection, two cats, and left me without food or water. Please send help.

Dear Randy,

By the time we'd get to Tennessee it would be far too late. You're on the right track with the internet connection. Beware: You can't actually stay in the room the whole time or, by the end of the weekend, the stench will be unbearable .

My recommendation, take M's momentary distraction as your cue to hit your local comic shop. It will give you a chance to get out of the house and you can finally spend some quality time (and money) looking at comics without M worrying about when you're coming home.

I also suggest possibly hitting Best Buy and/ or your local record store.

If money is an issue, you say you have two cats. It's time to teach those cats to dance. Not only will it fill the time, you can also bid your guests a nice fairwell with a small dance number. Afterward, you go on the road with those dancing cats, Randy. You'll take the world by storm.