Thursday, June 26, 2008

a TTSNB special: If I had a million dollars!

I may be jobless, but if I had me a million dollars, I know what I'd buy.

First, I'd get this, this and this. Then this. And then, improbably, this.

But after that...

Is an original Barris Batmobile too much to wish for? If so, I will take this.

The great thing about this $100 lawn ornament (2 feet tall) is that when Jamie would complain about it, I could tell her she was crazy for believing in Bigfoot Lawn Ornaments. I could pat her hand and tell her that maybe she'd seen a bear lawn ornament or something.

I found this in the SkyMall catalog while flying to Costa Rica, and its been on my mind ever since. But to dwell on the items of the SkyMall catalog is to invite madness.

"Suffering from head-weight exhaustion? Seeking better neck health? Noted Phrenologist Professor Poppycock's amazing new Spine-o-Extractor has already led to rejuvenation for others. Why not you? Only Professor Poppycock's Spine-o-Extractor provides the proper amount of lifting power necessary for the correct separation of vertebrae of the human backbone, which allows the nerve clusters to oxygenate. Enjoy better neck and head health! Professor Poppycock's Amazing Spine-o-Extractor is to the skull-support area what Cod liver Oil is for the humors of the human food-tract!"
Yes, I found this in SkyMall, too. $55 before S&H.

This really isn't that expensive if you have a job, but I don't. When it come to Trek, I'm Trek Classic all the way. And while I think phasers and communicators are cool, Tricorders are simply awesome. Buy me a tricorder here. And, yes, i would walk around with it in the background on all of your away missions.

This things is, like, 7 feet high. And costs $2500. Here's a link, if you want to buy it for me. I think it would look awesome in the corner where Jamie keeps the piano.

I have a Wii. Jason has an Xbox. There is no GTAIV for Wii.
I want to rob people and take their cars and go on shady missions around Liberty City.
But I, otherwise, really am happy with the Wii. But if I had a million dollars...

Mattel does a tip of the hat to Hitchock and Hedren. It's kind of weird, but... you know, if you're going to have really random crap in your millionaire mansion, why not this? Buy here.

Also, this Wonder Woman Barbie. No, seriously. I want a Barbie for the first time in my life.

While the arm in the photo in no way resembles The League's own guns, why not the Hammer of Thor?

You don't actually need to be worthy to lift this hammer, but you're going to need about $450, plus S&H.

Yes, truly I would impress all in an interview when they would ask for one of my strengths, and I would hold Mjolnir aloft and call the thunder down upon their brow.

While, of course, wearing my official Thor helmet.


Anonymous said...

I think they make GTAIV for the XBOX 360. Or does jason only have the original XBOX?

The League said...

Jason has both the Xbox 360 and GTAIV. But please, do not rob him.

J.S. said...

Wow! What a bunch of useless crap! God is keeping you jobless specifically so you don't blow money on this stuff...

J.S. said...

Except for GTA IV. The above comment wasn't referring to GTA IV.

Anonymous said...

So why doesn't Jason let Ryan play GTA4 on his XBOX?

J.S. said...

I do. but not for 45-60 hours or whatever the heck is required to finsih that game.

Anonymous said...

Just bring the XBOX to League HQ and let Ryan have at it for a week or so. He's unemployed. What else has he got to do?

Michael Corley said...

I am often drawn to the Skymall, since I now fly every month. The replications of nerdom are by far the most alluring.

The League said...

Thanks, but I'm good, anonymous.