Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Things that College Students Do

1) Try to just walk into my office. It's weird. The light is on, there are no study lounges on my floor, but every once in a while, they start just pulling on my door and trying to get in. The door is always locked because I use the main door to the office suite, not the door in my office that empties to the hallway. My door isn't really marked except for a number, but... I guess I mostly get creeped out at what they might be doing in there if they found the door open.

2) Talk loudly on their cell phones about @#$% that doesn't matter. Which, yeah, no kidding... But, Leaguers, I work in a library. You understood how a library worked when you were in school, no? Apparently, that particular people skill went away with the invention of the iPhone with its goofy cable microphone dealy-o. Which they all hold to their faces and shout at the mouthpiece. Also, that makes you look stupid. Which is just slightly better than wearing the blue-ttoth earpiece and looking like a maniac walking down the street yammering to yourself.

3) Make liberal use of the public bathrooms. I was a little confused when informed we had an employees bathroom tucked away around the corner. But more than once, I've entered the public bathroom to find people bathing in the sink/ using the bathroom as if it were in their apartment.

4) Not press the button at the crosswalk so that when the light changes, the indicator says "walk" and you get the right of way. I don't think this should be a part of primary education, along with "how do you exit a bus", but how does one reach college age and make it into the top 10% of their class and not understand how buttons or cross walks work?

5) For some reason, Asian female students always travel in pairs. Always. Just an observation. But somehow these pairs don't hit the button at the crosswalk between the two of them, either.

6) Not seem to know how to order a cup of coffee. The menu is up there, where its been the ten minutes we've been standing in line, sir.

7) Dress up the first week of school in all their new clothes they got for Christmas, and then its back to sweats.

8) Get the hell out of your way when you step off the elevator with any conviction.

9) Either they don't check the weather before they leave, or they take seasonally inappropriate dress as some sign of machismo. Even if its 32 degrees outside, there's always some dudes running around in nothing but shorts and t-shirts. It kind of makes it seem that given ample evidence, these young minds still cannot make an appropriate decision and makes you believe they really DO need their mother to dress them.

10) Stand around talking, loitering in odd places, having lengthy, important conversations, using $0.25 words they just learned in class having the sorts of discussions that, once they're actually working for a living, that they will never have again. That's actually fine. Someone's gotta do it.

special bonus item for Valentine's Day: I see a LOT of dudes walking a half-step behind some young lady, talking entirely too much, sort of following around a co-ed (often who are out of their league) who seems like she's only half-listening. These poor dudes seem to believe that as long as their mouths keep running, the girl may not like them, but she can't get away. And maybe, just maybe, they'll wear her down. And they will find love... *sigh...*


NTT said...

Isn't it just a bit early to get into the "get off my lawn" attitude? I mean, c'mon, you're not even into your second mortgage.

As much as it pains to remember, we were all like that back in undergrad. Same world-weary, know it all attitude with misplaced heated passions about something wrong in the world because we have too much time between poli-sci and biology. Let's give them a break before crushing their spirit with the real world responsibilities we all encounter as the crushing weight of bills, debt and mortality hits.

FYI, the buttons on the crosswalks, 90% of them do nothing. They are there to pacify the walkers as most of them are on a timer. It doesn't matter how much you push them. Maybe those people know something...

The League said...

Well, as I said, these are things college students do. Some are observations. Some complaints. I assume you're primarily concerned with #10 here.

After being off campus for a few years (and honestly, ASU wasn't a school where people stood around talking about much but where to get a taco or beer), its been interesting hearing snippets of conversation. As I said, I have no problem with it. It SHOULD be what they do, and I don't begrudge them it. You just flash forward on them by five years and... yeah.

You also don't find too many other places with 20-year-olds playing hackey sack, year after year. Some dude camped out with his guitar on the lawn, surrounded by a circle of his pals. All that stuff.

I don't dislike it. Its part of what goes on here.

As per those buttons: they do work on MLK. I have to walk a 1/4 mile stretch of it every day, coming and going, and have to cross lights twice.

There's nothing more irritating than reaching the intersection after someone else, and when the light changes, they're utterly baffled as to why the "walk" signal didn't come on, and now you have to wait five minutes for another full cycle. Plus however long you were standing there.

Generally I hit the button if I get there in time, but I notice the ffect most often when I am approaching the intersection just as the light is about to change.

Even if the buttons didn't work, its like the hamster with the pellets. You hit it anyway, and hope that this time it'll work.

J.S. said...

1) Maybe there's a room with a free, open bar that serves cocktails that's only one floor above you with the same room number (ok, one digit difference). Or maybe they just want to catch a glimpse of the "Superman giant" that the university keeps stashed away in the basement for some unknown purpose.
2) Weren't you the guy who left me the better part of one of our junior high era Sunday school hymns on my voicemail the other night? I'm not sure where you were when you made that call, but speaking of talking loudly on your cell phone about sh*t that doesn't matter...
3) I recommend a huge Tex Mex lunch and then you go in there and do your worst. Once word gets around of the horror that The League can wreak in a bathroom, I'll bet you find yourself sharing the restroom on your floor a lot less with the kids...
4) Maybe the kids are playing some sort of game with the crosswalk light. Listen carefully to see if you here the words "red light" or "green light" when they're starting and stopping.
5) There's a widely publicized study going on in one of the rooms at Jester in which Asian, female, conjoined twins are learning to harness their psychic powers. They work as a team, and can hurl schoolbuses at speeds of up to 90 mph, so be nice to them.
6) It's not that they don't know what to order. It's just that once they get to the front of the line, that's "their time".
7) Most of those clothes are rentals that they checked out for seeing their "at home" friends over the holidays. After a week or two they have to go back.
8) You're 6'5" (and look a little crazy). People probably step out of the way when you step anywhere with any conviction.
9) They're too wacked out on (fill in your favorite contraband substance here) to feel the difference. Dressing inappropriately for the weather is a sign of mental illness, so you probably got a little of that going on. Inappropriate dress is also a sign that you've never made it back to your room since the last time the weather changed.
10) And in all seriousness, you gotta learn to use those words at some point. They may fall out of your normal vocabulary later, but it's good to have them in the arsenal for when you need them (or for when someone else decides to use them). And I still occasionally sit around and think about the stupid stuff I learned in college (like the ethical conundrum of potentially perpetuating terrorist acts by widely discussing and analyzing them).
VD Special: I was that dude. NTT was probably that dude, too. OK, I'll give you that one. somebody shouldn've sat me down and told me....

Michael Corley said...

To be fair, as a student at UT I would often think "My god, does ANYONE push the crosswalk button?"

I still do push the button. I'd hate to remove half my child's parents because I was too lazy to smack a button on 2nd and Santa Fe.

But talking in a library? Kill them. Kill them all.

NTT said...

Ahh heck. You've convinced me. They're worthless Nuke 'em all from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

The League said...

I don't understand. I wasn't "convincing" anyone of anything. I said college students have wordy conversations while they loiter.

How is that a complaint?

I think you are reading something into that statement that wasn't there.

NTT said...

Last comment was just a joke to show I wasn't taking anything serious. Sorry for the confusion.

Anonymous said...

I was just on the Trinity campus yesterday. It's strange because I saw some kids that seem vaguely familiar... but then I realize that they just *look* similar to the way we did back then.

Anonymous said...

Translation: The best years of our lives are behind us - well behind us.

Anonymous said...

Oops. That last comment was me. - JMD