Showing posts with label taste test. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taste test. Show all posts

Monday, April 03, 2023

20 Years of Blogging, Part 2 - Together, We're a League of Something!

Editor's note:  This is Part 2 of a series.  You can view the first part with just the click of a button.  

also, this is a cross-post with media review site and PodCast, The Signal Watch.

So, yeah.  

By April of 2003, we were blogging.  For a look at the initial form of League of Melbotis on Blogspot/ Blogger, click on over to The Wayback Machine.  

As mentioned in the first post, soon I was emailing and managing comments from friends and strangers.  But, also, some of those pals already had their own blogs or quickly started one.  It was easy, often free, and gave folks a chance to speak their mind.  People were religious about their choice of platform.  Livejournal people developed quite the mythologizing about themselves that arguably continues to this day. WordPress users constantly complained about what they were using but refused to change.  

JimD started his first blog of many.  RHPT joined in.  Soon I was aware of Maxwell (she of the podcast) starting up Cowboy Funk, which detailed her life as a Texas ex-pat in NYC.  I knew her husband before we met via his own web-presence and mentions on the blog.  

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Troubles Taste Tests Trek

Jamie tastes the all-new Trek breakfast cereal. Here.

And, yes. The communicator, tricorder and phaser are all mine. I waited 25 years to have a communicator, tricorder and phaser, so shut up.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Taste Test!

It seems Jamie has decided to carry on in the grand League of Melbotis tradition with a taste test of her own.

Won't you go visit?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The regrettable "mallow" hot dog

What is mallow? We've all had a marshmallow at some point, either roasted on a stick over a campfire, buried in our Lucky Charms or tucked between chocolate and a graham cracker. But what is Mallow?

Friday night I was buying a sno-cone (bubble-gum flavored) and perusing the candy aisle when a certain something caught my eye. The Mallow Dog.


It looked like a hotdog, but was not. I'm always a fan of food that is meant to look like one type of food, but is not. Example: Swedish Fish. Also, Runts. Those little gummy hamburgers. Etc...

If a hot dog is a veritable cornucopia of animal by-product, what could a mallow dog possibly contain?

Only a buck forty-nine!

The packaging promised "All American 'Fun'". I'm an American. I like fun. Maybe not "fun", but I like fun. I suspect the copy writer for the package was all too-aware of what lay in store for the consumer.

I think "fun" is a pretty apropos term for most items that you can get at the "Water & Ice" store. It also applies to most forms of "fun" in Chandler, AZ.

The Mallow Dog experiences freedom, like a good American

The texture was sort of powdery and squishy, but still firm enough to hold it's shape. Firmer, indeed, than a Jet-Puffed marshmallow. And it smelled like cheap, cheap perfume.

All American?

The mallow dog's ingredients were listed in a way which seemed to indicate that the producer was listing them only grudgingly. Also, I noticed the mallow dog had been made in China and imported to San Diego. It truly was all American.

You can click on the picture for greater detail.


We tried a side-by-side comparison of mallow dog versus hot dog. Suddenly the mallow dog looked woefully unappetizing in a way it just hadn't before. It looked like some sort of muppet-inspired prop food which had escaped an acid-fueled nightmare. And it smelled really bad.


there's that smell. God. That's awful.


i briefly consider an abort. After all, this isn't technically food. It's a mix of organic and inorganic substances which will not necessarily kill me if it passes through my GI tract.

Who wants to live forever..?

There's a well-learned fear in my eyes here. Obviously my brain was trying to stop me from doing this, but me and Mr. Brain haven't been on speaking terms in two decades.


this photo was taken about four seconds before regret kicked in.


Whoop. There's that regret.

Yeah, that thing tastes sort of like a big asprin, but with the texture of a foam pillow, or maybe packing materials.

In reviewing these photos I also realize I should have showered between mowing the lawn and the taste test. I think we're looking at about 30 hours without a shower here.


Jamie was not fast enough to get a photo of me expectorating the mallow dog into the trash (see how neatly we pile our recycling...?)

not real food

I don't know what the hell this thing was supposed to be. it wasn't good and it didn't taste like anything fit for human consumption. I am no ccloser to understanding what the hell mallow is, but I do know I'm not going to keep up this line of research.

False advertising

Can I sue for this? This wasn't a great tasting anything. This thing tasted like sugar and bad perfume.

never again

And thus ended the taste test.

On the whole, this sort of ruined my appreaciation for foods that look like other foods, but you kind of have to appreciate the fact that we live in a world where you can make a fake hot dog out of marshmallows in a factory in China, ship it to the US where it is finally sealed, and then send it out to be consumed by dudes like The League. That's what a free market economy is all about.

It's all about "fun".

Thursday, August 03, 2006


The other night Jamie and I were walking through the Walgreens, and there, upon the rack, were many a flavor of new lipglosses. All of the flavors were crafter from some recognizable artifical flavoring.

Well, The League isn't above sampling some lip gloss, but Jamie got all crazy, the same way she does when she's had a bowl of Sugar Smacks.

The Flavors:

Berry Skittles, Dr. Pepper, Grape Crush, Skittles

the flavors, all lined up

Now you have to forgive me... usually Jamie takes the photos. This time I took the photos and the quality kind of sucks.

Jeff checks out the lip gloss... and starts licking the counter. Nice.

Stupid cat.

Jamie is a bit skeptical of the liquid, brush applied, Skittles-flavored lip gloss.

Jamie takes a sniff...

Hmmm.... the skepticism continues...


Not so good... A little blechy. Maybe wiping artifical Skittles flavoring on your lips isn't the best idea.

Berry, Berry Skittles!

Berry, berry gross...


Jamie sad. No more Berry, Berry Skittles.

Grape Crush, eh...?


Sold! Like rubbing Grape Crush all over your lips.

Ooooohhhh... Dr. Pepper! The McBride ladies love them some Dr. Pepper. How can some lip gloss stack up?


Dr. Pepper! MUST DRINK!!!! MUST.... DRINK...

No... must apply...




Jamie loves her some Dr. Pepper! Whooo-HOOO!!!

Somewhere between drinky and glossy, there is Dr. Pepper lip gloss...

There you have it, Leaguers! Jamie's exciting foray into the world of branded, flavored lip gloss. I liked Grape Crush best.

Monday, June 26, 2006


On the eve of the release of Superman Returns, I've decided to try out a little Super Snack. Better living through League of Melbotis.

It's Cap'n Crunch! Now, with real Superman Shield Shapes! Jeff approves.

You can see for yourself the shiny, pretty Cap'n Crunch Box. You can almost begin to imagine my anticipation. Note: It promises to turn my milk blue.

Superman wouldn't steer you wrong! See, free entertainment. Jeff and I have a game scheduled for Thursday evening.

Superman, ahoy! Lookie there. Those are some Super Shields mixed in with the usual Crunch barrels. I confess, I love me some Cap'n Crunch. I'm kind of excited.

For scale, here is an example of a Crunch Shield. Note the color. It is red. Sort of.

Wha..? As advertised, the cereal turns the milk blue. Some of the shields get a little blue or purple, but... but... there's some serious mad science going on here. I'm a litle scared.

Skeptical. Simply skeptical of blue milk.

It smells like The Cap'n. Sweet. Crunchy. Delicious.

I am reluctant to take my first bite.

Sweet. Crunchy...

Not dissimilar to my usual bowl of The Cap'n.

Not dissimilar at ALL. I believe I WILL have another bite.

Yowzah! Now that is some cereal. SWEEEEEEEET!!!!

You'll have to pardon this photo. I'm on a sort of diet. Not much sugar lately.

ARGHHH!!! Crunch scrape. Must slow Crunch eating to a crawl.

Yes, this is a truly Super addition to my Super diet. The League fully endorses this product.

Next up, some Super 4-Cheese pasta.