Usually articles on prisoner abuse aren't that funny, but I liked this line:

"They assumed it wasn't a big deal. It was a big deal," Walker said, explaining that officers and deputies also practiced using the Taser on one another to "experience the incapacitating voltage it administers."

Okay. Now, I'm no expert on electiricity, but I used to fix the ski-ball machines during my tenure at Chuck E. Cheese (circa 1990). I can tell you this: it hurts like a bastard when you get electrified by the ski-ball machine. it's all tingly and weird. And it creeps up on you. You may not even notice it at first until you're like "hey, my heart stopped!" Anyway, again, I'm no expert on electrity, nor am I a law-enforcement officer, but who wouldn't pay $5.00 to watch a bunch of corrections officers hitting each other with 50,000 volts? We're missing out on a real opportunity for syndicated TV here.

And thanks once again to Shoemaker! Here's a story from Onion AV on Alex Ross, comic artist extraordinaire.

Today is going to suck. It started sucking at 9:45 last night. Hurray.
All students are bastards.

Here is an article on comics, including a brief history and a "state of the industry" report.

It appears Emily is hopped up on goofballs as she continues in her misguided, yet relentless pursuit to join with the forces of evil.
Apparently Emily rates qualified indifference on part of both pet and owner as a desirable trait in her pet of choice, the house cat. While convenient, it's that same indifference which makes cats the less loyal and less loving of animals. The other qualities Emily describes also fit dogs to a "T", as well.

Prior to Mel, here is a list of animals I've played host to for long enough to describe the animals as pets:

2 dogs (Puffy and Misty)
1 cat (Jeff)
innumerable fish
2 gerbils (Leonard Nimoy and Richard M. Nixon)
1 hamster (Sandy)
2 Guinea Pigs (Speedy and I don't remember)
2 rabbits (Skeeter and Skooter)
1 Boa constrictor (Baby Boa)
2 turtles (Hurdle and Floyd)
1 Python (Perry the Python)
1 Iguana (Flash)
2 hermit crabs
2 fire newts (Zap and I don't remember)
2 other lizards (Exit and I don't know)
1 tarantula (Mr. Crawly)

In short, I've had the pets which you can ignore. Give me 116 pounds of Golden Retriever anyday. Good 'ol Mel. Hope he's not too bored at home.

Hopefully Emily can turn away from the abyss of feline despair before it's too late.

In response to my query, Emily posts about her lack of desire to allow Randy to become the proud co-habitant of man's best friend.

Randy writes:

Dear Mel,

Are you single? I know a cute golden retriever named "Princess" who I think you would like. She's only two years old, and is very friendly and outgoing. She loves to play and she lives with about 4 cats, so she shares your pain. The only problem is that Princess lives in Franklin, TN. Will that be a problem?


Randy

Dear Randy,

Mel have swinging bachelor lifestyle Mel very content with. Mel not certain Mel can make committment of long term relationship when Mel mostly confined to backyard and house. TN sounds like far off scary place with no vowels. As much as Mel would like to sniff at Princess and possibly steal Princess toys, Mel not sure if Princess would be right for Mel. Mel mostly introverted and like to stay home and get chubby man attention. Just last night Mel refused to leave chubby man alone, so mel got lots of petting. "Leave me alone! Go bother Jamie!" said chubby man, but I know he is just kidding, so mel put paw on him and really lean into him then.
"Fine. You want a milkbone?" said chubby man. And then my tail start wagging, which tell mel that Mel must be excited. So Mel run again to cabinet to show chubby man where milkbone is in case chubby man forgot. Then Mel go outside.
If Princess feel this lifestyle suit Princess, then that okay. Mel not really sure what to do with girlfriend anyway since Mel have "procedure".

Randy writes:

Dear Mel,

After reading some of your responses, I detect a note of resentment against Jeff the cat. Am I correct? And if so, why do you hate Jeff? Is it some deep instinctive thing or does it have something to do with your mother?

Dear Randy,

Mel has thought about Randy questions. Cat is mean bitey thing that bite Mel leg and bottom just because Mel pass by. Cat only nice to Mel when cat is cold. Stupid cat. To do with mother? Mel think that sometime a cat is just a cat.