Sounds like Clark's been getting into the red kryptonite again.

Maxwell locates some unfortunate advertising at the Republican convention.

God knows I love Halloween. I do. I love it. Here at The League, it's up there with Christmas and Arbor Day.

And I am comforted to know it is soon a-coming. How do I know? I just ate a delicious bowl of "Haunted Apple Jacks Manor" with marshmallow bones, skulls, and other little bits. It was frightfully delicious.

Anybody have any ideas for a Halloween contest this year? In order to help out Jim D., I'm a-thinking of a single entry list of "really bad horror movies."

Either that, or something to do with "What shall I carve upon a pumpkin?"

I have to run the contest beginning in about two or three weeks, so I'm taking submissions for ideas.

And it's not too early for you to start planning your costume. This year, I am going to be a chubby white guy. I started working on this costume in 1995. I'm almost done.

So I may or may not have broken Jamie's hand. Ker-whack.

Nothing like injuring the wife to make yourself feel like a total heel.

We were at the gym and I tossed her a medicine ball. According to some reports, I tossed it too quickly or something. I'm not sure. I thought the speed was okay. Maybe she lacks hand-eye coordination. I cannot say. I do know it was I who threw the ball, and she has the injured hand.

I also know that we spent three or four hours at the ER today listening to the lady in the next room get manually cleared of her terrible constipation.

Look, if I had to listen to the whole ordeal, you have to think about it for a few seconds.

Jamie is doing okay. She needs to go for an additional X-Ray later this week, and then she'll know for certain. In the meantime, she's in a sort of cast/ splint and a sling.

And I feel like a jerk.

Luckily, there was my mom on the other end of the phone, lending her undying love and support.

"What did you do that to her for?"
"Mom, I just tossed her the ball."
"Well, you threw it too hard."
"I didn't throw it too hard, Ma. It was a freak accident."
"Why weren't you being more careful?"
"I was being careful. It was an accident."
"It doesn't sound to me like you were being careful."
"I was."
"Well, Jamie can't catch a ball like that. What kind of ball was this?"
"It was a medicine ball."
"I never heard of such a thing. Why were you throwing it at her?"
"Because my trainer told me to. We were like five feet apart."
"It sounds like you weren't being careful."

Sigh.

Anyone remember my self-congratulatory story on my time at The Disney Store?

Well, apparently I'm not the only one who sees the face of evil in the robotic friendliness and efficiency of the Disney Corp.

Heidi reports here from The Beat.

Reading this makes me want to watch Westworld again.

THANKS, SCIENCE!!!!

You know what's amazing but absolutely f**king gross?

Growing a jaw in your back.

It turns out, I am in class with a guy who played Spock's dad in Star Trek V.

How cool is that?