Thursday, September 02, 2004
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
As a Superman-fan, I don't usually have much space to ridicule the proclivities of others.
But this Cuddle Party thing? If you're one of the lucky folks attending Cuddle Parties, I'm going to help you out here:
You are lame.
If you're that starved for attention and affection, get a cat. The cat may not even like you, but it will sit on you when it gets cold. Rolling around on the floor with total strangers while you're in your jammies shows only that your mommy did not hold you enough as a child.
Seriously, this is the lamest thing I've ever heard of. It's right up there with Furries.
A special section for the ladies:
The men are lying to you. They do not just want simple platonic affection. This Cuddle Party idea has been concocted by the same team of evil geniuses who taught you it's okay to wear only a sports-bra while jogging, and that the Beach Volleyball team would perform better in bikinis.
Remember that dude from Rain's Cuddle Party two weeks back? He was laying next to you in the Cookie Monster shirt? he was kind of funny and silly, but sort of weird, but it was okay because it's just a cuddle party..?
He's imagining you naked even now.
He is. I'm sorry. All we can do is hope to distract him next time
This time next year, the Cuddle Parties are going to have turned into big Ecstacy-fueled Roman orgies, and all of the people looking to crawl into their jammies and roll around on the floor with complete strangers (while still pretending this is actually sanitary) are going to be wondering what happened.
Get a cat. They're easy to adopt at the ASPCA. They even poop in a box so they're easy to clean up after.
If that fails, try dating.
But this Cuddle Party thing? If you're one of the lucky folks attending Cuddle Parties, I'm going to help you out here:
You are lame.
If you're that starved for attention and affection, get a cat. The cat may not even like you, but it will sit on you when it gets cold. Rolling around on the floor with total strangers while you're in your jammies shows only that your mommy did not hold you enough as a child.
Seriously, this is the lamest thing I've ever heard of. It's right up there with Furries.
A special section for the ladies:
The men are lying to you. They do not just want simple platonic affection. This Cuddle Party idea has been concocted by the same team of evil geniuses who taught you it's okay to wear only a sports-bra while jogging, and that the Beach Volleyball team would perform better in bikinis.
Remember that dude from Rain's Cuddle Party two weeks back? He was laying next to you in the Cookie Monster shirt? he was kind of funny and silly, but sort of weird, but it was okay because it's just a cuddle party..?
He's imagining you naked even now.
He is. I'm sorry. All we can do is hope to distract him next time
This time next year, the Cuddle Parties are going to have turned into big Ecstacy-fueled Roman orgies, and all of the people looking to crawl into their jammies and roll around on the floor with complete strangers (while still pretending this is actually sanitary) are going to be wondering what happened.
Get a cat. They're easy to adopt at the ASPCA. They even poop in a box so they're easy to clean up after.
If that fails, try dating.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I get the feeling I am not going to be able to find the Justice League toy of The UltraHumanite.
Note on the link that this company has ALREADY jacked the price up to $35.00 before shipping.
Leaguers, this is highway robbery. This is $.75 worth of plastic.
IF you see the toy at Target or Wal-Mart, let me know or pick it up, and I will send you a PHAT check. DO NOT spend more than $7.50 on this toy. THe last time I ordered a figure online that way, I saw it on the peg for $6.50 the next week.
Anyway, Ultra-Humanite. White Ape with big brain and bondage gear.
Note on the link that this company has ALREADY jacked the price up to $35.00 before shipping.
Leaguers, this is highway robbery. This is $.75 worth of plastic.
IF you see the toy at Target or Wal-Mart, let me know or pick it up, and I will send you a PHAT check. DO NOT spend more than $7.50 on this toy. THe last time I ordered a figure online that way, I saw it on the peg for $6.50 the next week.
Anyway, Ultra-Humanite. White Ape with big brain and bondage gear.
Remember that movie Jim Caviezel was in where his father sent him to humanity to save us from ourselves?
Well, word on the comic book street is that he may be about to be in another movie along those same lines.
Jim Caviezel is now rumored to be cast as Superman for the new Bryan Singer helmed Superman movie due to begin production before the end of 04.
If the rumor is true, I'm okay with it. I'm not as excited as I was about Christian Bale as Batman, but it's a far cry from one-time-Super-selection Ashton Kutcher (shudder). Caviezel is supposed to be an excellent actor (I've never seen any of his movies). He's just... smaller than I was thinking Superman might be. And I'd have liked to have seen the continuity of bringing Tom Welling over from Smallville to Superman. But, c'est la vie. No Kutcher means we're that much closer to the movie not being a complete trainwreck.
You can read here where Mark Millar (irritating but talented writer of Marvel's Ultimates and Spider-Man) drops the bomb.
And sounds like the script includes Brainiac. BRAINIAC!!!! Please, God... Let them use the "Where's-My-Pants?" version of Brainiac. Actually, Brainiac has had so many different looks over the years, I am sure it will be a totally new and interesting version if he is in the movie.
I guess Brainiac 13 is too much to hope for.
Actually, these days, expecting this movie not to stink is too much to hope for. Jim D. called me about two weeks ago apparently just to let me know he didn't think they could ever make a good Superman movie. I suspect he'd just finished Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, which was excellent only in it's inclusion of John Cryer as Luthor's bumbling nephew, Lenny.
Well, word on the comic book street is that he may be about to be in another movie along those same lines.
Jim Caviezel is now rumored to be cast as Superman for the new Bryan Singer helmed Superman movie due to begin production before the end of 04.
If the rumor is true, I'm okay with it. I'm not as excited as I was about Christian Bale as Batman, but it's a far cry from one-time-Super-selection Ashton Kutcher (shudder). Caviezel is supposed to be an excellent actor (I've never seen any of his movies). He's just... smaller than I was thinking Superman might be. And I'd have liked to have seen the continuity of bringing Tom Welling over from Smallville to Superman. But, c'est la vie. No Kutcher means we're that much closer to the movie not being a complete trainwreck.
You can read here where Mark Millar (irritating but talented writer of Marvel's Ultimates and Spider-Man) drops the bomb.
And sounds like the script includes Brainiac. BRAINIAC!!!! Please, God... Let them use the "Where's-My-Pants?" version of Brainiac. Actually, Brainiac has had so many different looks over the years, I am sure it will be a totally new and interesting version if he is in the movie.
I guess Brainiac 13 is too much to hope for.
Actually, these days, expecting this movie not to stink is too much to hope for. Jim D. called me about two weeks ago apparently just to let me know he didn't think they could ever make a good Superman movie. I suspect he'd just finished Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, which was excellent only in it's inclusion of John Cryer as Luthor's bumbling nephew, Lenny.
Monday, August 30, 2004
More Superheroes in trouble...
Superman is in Minnesota causing trouble, so Batman has also made an appearance in the Mid-West.
I always thought The World's Greatest Detective would avoid the sweets. Mayhaps not.
thanks to Shoemaker for the link.
Superman is in Minnesota causing trouble, so Batman has also made an appearance in the Mid-West.
I always thought The World's Greatest Detective would avoid the sweets. Mayhaps not.
thanks to Shoemaker for the link.
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