Britney Watch!

Hello, and welcome to a new feature here at The League.

"I'd love to have a baby already. But I've got to take care of some things first ... I want to become a mother. I'm crazy about children ... next year, when I'm 23 I'll be ready."

Yes, life is pretty much over for America's little sweetheart.

This segment is dedicated to observing and enjoying the rapid descent of former teen-pop marshmallow, Britney Spears. I first became aware of Britney Spears when my co-workers downloaded her "one More Time" video (legally, I am sure) for viewing.

The Spice Girls were almost already a bitter-sweet memory, and the world was craving something newer, fresher, and less classy. And so many options! Christina Aguil... Aguila... Aguil... the slutty girl whose name I can't spell... Jessica Simpson, Shakira, and whomever the hell else. I don't know. Anyway, suddenly, no matter where you looked, there were annoying people with Pepsi contracts.

Hell, even Bob Dole wasn't afraid to make a buck from Pepsi and allow America's Britney-lust become a public joke.

Looking back, could we have predicted a child raised in show-biz and worshipped for her teen-age sex-kitten status would begin to flail a bit the second she was free of contractual and parental control?

Yes. Yes we could. But we never do. It's the hilariously tragic story of American celebrity, Leaguers.

We all remember the first signs of Britney cracking... the abrupt ending to her Mexico City show a few years back. The stupid snake thing at the MTV Video awards, the Madonna incident(s). But now... now Ms. Federline is 22, a millionaire many times over, and has already had the best day of her life she's ever going to have. So where does she go from here? Full-on celebrity implosion, my friends.

We don't need to relate the belabored wedding ceremony to car-wash refugee Kevin Federline, or the fact that she picked him up from his girlfriend (8 months pregnant with their second child). But we MUST get onboard this runaway train here at The League for the sheer entertainment value.

We're now taking bets on how many weeks/ months Ms. Spears will remain Ms. Federline, both professionally and legally.

In the meantime, we celebrate Mr. Federline. He has shown himself to have no character, but has still steered himself into marrying a millionaire. I can only suggest he enjoy the short and bumpy ride before he makes that final, crucial mistake, and Mrs. Federline begins reviewing her pre-nup.

Nothing this good ever happens in Arizona.

HEY, KIDS!!! IT'S A WHOLE NEW KIND OF MONKEY!!!

Love Pulp?
Love Shatner?

(the answer to that second question better be yes, or I disavow any knowledge of your existence...)

If you love these two pop culture icons, I can only recommend you go here.

For a whole album of Shatner ROCKING THE F**KING HOUSE, go here. And then go buy the album, you bastards.

Several cartoons appeared in newspapers yesterday in tribute to Christopher Reeve.

You can see a collection of them here. Link is from The Superman Homepage.

"But most will remember this sad day as the day the proudest, most noble man they ever knew finally fell. For those who loved him -- one who would call him husband, one who would be his pal, or those who would call him son -- this is the darkest day they could ever imagine. They raised him to be a hero: to know the value of sacrifice, to know the value of life. And for those who served with Superman in the protection of all life comes the shock of a failure: the weight of being too late to help. For a city to live, a man had given his all and more. But it's too late. For this is the day that a Superman died." - Superman #75, 1992 (written by Dan Jurgens)

--Mrs. League

Christopher Reeve has died at the age of 52.

As you've doubtless heard, actor and social activist Christopher Reeve died of complications on October 11th, 2004.

Mr. Reeve spent the past several years working tirelessly to help the many victims of paralysis by fundraising, encouraging research and working with congress. The loss of Mr. Reeve should only memorialize that which Mr. Reeve spent the latter part of his life working to achieve.

It would be dishonest of me to say that I didn't take a special interest in this cause due to Mr. Reeve's association with four Superman films and his appearances on Smallville. I suggest that, as a nice reminder of the joy he put into his work, that you watch one of the films this month. I'll be taking time out to watch Superman this week.

Out of respect for Mr. Reeve, I won't be posting for 24 hours. I ask that you take some time, instead of reading here, to visit the website for the Chrisopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation, and consider sending in a donation sometime this year.