MADMAN OR GENIUS...?
Why has this man threatened to punch The League in the face?
And why, with the other movies in his cue, is he also planning to watch "Saw 2"? Does this mean he found "Saw" entertaining enough to come back for a second round?
Hmmm...
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Sunday, April 02, 2006
UPDATES AND WHATNOT
Hello, Leaguers. Hope all is well.
Well, I haven't been doing much lately in the way of blogging. I mean, actually maintaining a web-based log of my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams and minutia which consumes my waking moments.
You may notice that I have added some items regarding the upcoming release of the WB feature film "Superman Returns" to the left hand menu. Yes, the menu bar is looking like a rubbish sale, but those were the elements provided by WB as part of their "Webmaster" program. Sadly, I am totally awful with code of any kind, so what you see if what you get. This stuff will go away after the release of the movie (June 30th!)
You may also notice the poll I put up. Please participate if you have time. It's free. If you have no opinion... well, may God have mercy on your soul.
We should be wrapping up questions 11- 14 in short order.
The four League-centric survey questions which were asked may or may not be covered. I'm still trying to decide if those will be used for quality control or if we'll be blogging your actual responses. And, if so, how...? After all, I did ask what you wanted covered. Do I actually cover what you asked? Hmmm...
I do confess to some weariness with the Mellies. A lot of it has to do with my utter lack of preparation. More importantly, way more people responded that I expected. Each post each night takes about an hour of cutting, pasting, formatting, coming up with my own responses, coming up with an intro and, finally, the Results.
Yeah, an hour.
So right now I've logged somewhere around 12- 15 hours on this, including coming up with questions, responding to e-mails, etc... If The League should be sending anyone a gift for participating, it's The League. And maybe Mel and Lucy for hanging out with me while I work on my posts.
It's actually been a bit of fun, and we got through the post I was most concerned about causing a stir without too much fuss. Thank you, politically minded-folk, for staying your hands and tongues. You guys made it fun by sharing a lot about yourselves, and I think, despite the fact that I haven't met a lot of you, I'm getting to know you. All of, with the obvious exception of RHPT, seem like people with whom I'd want to split a pitcher.
I hope you guys are enjoying all of this. If not, I'm quitting. I could be using all of this time talking about the greatness of Superman.
Anyway, here's a picture of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. I've been watching the Wonder Woman Season 1 DVD set. I've got Wonder Woman on the brain.
Hello, Leaguers. Hope all is well.
Well, I haven't been doing much lately in the way of blogging. I mean, actually maintaining a web-based log of my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams and minutia which consumes my waking moments.
You may notice that I have added some items regarding the upcoming release of the WB feature film "Superman Returns" to the left hand menu. Yes, the menu bar is looking like a rubbish sale, but those were the elements provided by WB as part of their "Webmaster" program. Sadly, I am totally awful with code of any kind, so what you see if what you get. This stuff will go away after the release of the movie (June 30th!)
You may also notice the poll I put up. Please participate if you have time. It's free. If you have no opinion... well, may God have mercy on your soul.
We should be wrapping up questions 11- 14 in short order.
The four League-centric survey questions which were asked may or may not be covered. I'm still trying to decide if those will be used for quality control or if we'll be blogging your actual responses. And, if so, how...? After all, I did ask what you wanted covered. Do I actually cover what you asked? Hmmm...
I do confess to some weariness with the Mellies. A lot of it has to do with my utter lack of preparation. More importantly, way more people responded that I expected. Each post each night takes about an hour of cutting, pasting, formatting, coming up with my own responses, coming up with an intro and, finally, the Results.
Yeah, an hour.
So right now I've logged somewhere around 12- 15 hours on this, including coming up with questions, responding to e-mails, etc... If The League should be sending anyone a gift for participating, it's The League. And maybe Mel and Lucy for hanging out with me while I work on my posts.
It's actually been a bit of fun, and we got through the post I was most concerned about causing a stir without too much fuss. Thank you, politically minded-folk, for staying your hands and tongues. You guys made it fun by sharing a lot about yourselves, and I think, despite the fact that I haven't met a lot of you, I'm getting to know you. All of, with the obvious exception of RHPT, seem like people with whom I'd want to split a pitcher.
I hope you guys are enjoying all of this. If not, I'm quitting. I could be using all of this time talking about the greatness of Superman.
Anyway, here's a picture of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. I've been watching the Wonder Woman Season 1 DVD set. I've got Wonder Woman on the brain.
THE TOP-DRAWER TENTH QUESTION
Time Travel. It's completely impossible (sorry Star Trek), and the very concept drives Jim D. into a mad frenzy for reasons he will actually go into all on his own. Yet film after film and cheap paperback after cheap paperback and an endless flood of comics and Twilight Zone episodes dwell on the possibility of "yeah, but what if...?" Plus, Jim kept bugging me about a time travel paradox question and some book he'd just read while I was working on my list.
So, we at The League of Melbotis, felt a time-travel question was a good one to ask Loyal Leaguers. After all, you all seem like a mass of insecurity and regret. But you can't really do this right without giving people a chance to change both themself and the world.
On to the question...
Question 10:
If I had a time machine with a single use, and my time travelling would not be filled with all sorts of crazy logic problems, I would go back to fix this one thing this year
--in my personal life
--on a more macrocosmic level
Eric Nordtrom:
--in my personal life
I wouldn't have allowed that thief to get ahold of my debit card number.
--on a more macrocosmic level
I'd have gone back to the Sunday before the levees broke, and chartered a convoy of buses to take everyone from New Orleans to ...
Ohio.
Tamara:
--in my personal life:
Switch actual LSAT score with best practice LSAT score. Come to think of it: Switch out actual day-to-day life generally with best practice day-to-day life.
--on a more macrocosmic level:
(editor's note: no answer)
Natalie:
--in my personal life: My marriage, but I truly believe it was unfixable (if that's a word).
--on a more macrocosmic level: The evacuation plan for New Orleans -- they should have bussed people out BEFORE the hurricane not after.
Jim D.:
First off, I don't believe you can use time travel to go back and "fix" anything. This is what irks me about time travel fiction in film and books. For the literary theory of time travel to be consistent, the time traveler can only play a role (known or more likely, unknown) in bringing about that which is already happened. He or she may attempt to change things or to bring about a different history, but whatever he or she does, he or she will only influence history in a way that will bring about the history we already know. So, on that level, this question is moot. But I don't think The League was seeking quite a nerdy objection to its question, so I must proceed.
--in my personal life
I doubt there is anything "this year" that I would go back and change. Really, any ripple effect from a temporal change would need to begin at least several years ago, as my life has been mostly the same for quite some time. I might go back to the summer of 1998 and tell myself to accept the job in Manhattan. I wonder how my life would have ended up if I had taken that job. Would I still be in NYC? Would I have ever gone to law school? If so, would I have gone to Baylor? What would I be doing now? Where would I be? Would you be reading this right now? Would the Mellies exist? Would the League's site? I might go back to 1994 and tell myself to study abroad (or at least, study more at home).
--on a more macrocosmic level
I don't know if I would want the responsibility of changing something on the macrocosmic level. I suppose the proper answer is to warn of or attempt to prevent some type of disaster or attack. I don't know what I would do. I would probably just prevent George Lucas from making (or remaking or reworking or redoing) any film after Empire Strikes Back). Sure, we would lose Indy, but I'm comfortable with that, especially since they are soon to ruin that franchise with a new sequel (and the second and third installments weren't that good to begin with, anyway).
Ryan V.:
--in my personal life
--on a more macrocosmic level
I have no regrets. Or at least I’m not admitting them on my public blog.
Peabo:
--in my personal life
Never make someone who has done nothing to prove his value a partner in your firm.
--on a more macrocosmic level
I might have told that guy to hold off on the cartoon of Mohammed. Not that I have a problem with it in any way, but lots of people died. Over a cartoon. A cartoon. But military action is not the way to resolve problems, we should really get the angry cartoon killers back at the negotiating table. I’m sure there is a lot of fruitful discussion to be had with people who advocate the wholesale destruction of another nation and deny the Holocaust ever happened. These people clearly have the mindset to reach a compromise and a roadmap to peace.
Denise:
-None come to mind. I might not be the same person if I changed past events. You know….don’t mess with the whole “space-time continuum”
RHPT:
• in my personal life
Clearly I would fix my failure to win a single Powerball drawing.
• on a more macrocosmic level
Hurricane Katrina. I don't know how, but that's what I would fix.
Nathan:
--in my personal life: I'd eat better.
--on a more macrocosmic level: I'd help evacuate people from New Orleans sooner.
Social Bobcat:
--in my personal life
-would have called my grandfather on his birthday
--on a more macrocosmic level
-would have called my grandfather on his birthday to tell him that i'd just won a million dollars on sports gambling in Vegas
Maxwell:
--in my personal life:
I had an interview at a network and I was offered coffee and I took it and I was drinking my coffee in the interview and I missed my mouth in the interview and spilled the coffee on myself. And uh. I wouldn't do that.
--on a more macrocosmic level:
More recycling.
Harms:
--in my personal life
My personal life has never been better. I'm in love with my girlfriend and think she's the best girlfriend ever.
--on a more macrocosmic level
I'd like to record every failure of communication within all levels of government in terms of Katrina. I'd like to show this to the world as a demonstration of why great companies fail and why a "CEO president" is something we should run away from, fast.
Steanso:
personal- go back in time and get out of my old job much sooner. I kept working there in the hopes that things would get better, but they just got worse and worse and finally I got laid off.
macrocosmic- I'd go back and warn those New Orleanians that Hurricane Katrina was bringing her own little judgement day along with her.
CrackBass:
--in my personal life: quit old job sooner, taken more time off in between old and new jobs
--on a more macrocosmic level:
eliminate dick cheney and or karl rove
Reed-o:
--in my personal life
Valentine's Day 2006 (don't even ask; let's just say I screwed up on this day for the first time in the 13 years that we have been going out / married)
And if I could go back farther than this year, the Wilson Festivus 2004 party
--on a more macrocosmic level
I can't even began to narrow this down. It would be any number of the rotten things that our government has done to the world and it's own citizens over the past year. I would do everthing in my power to stop it. I don't have any more time to pick out one specific thing (sorry, it's 12:30 CST on March 15th).
D. Loyd: Too early to say.
--in my personal life. Family issues.
--on a more macrocosmic level. Aliens!
Jamie:
Personal - I would have gone to my plasmapheresis treatments more often. Maybe I wouldn't be on dialysis now if I had.
Macrocosmic - I would have evacuated everyone from the New Orleans/Gulf Coast area and have improved the levees to handle a category 5 hurricane. This is all prior to Katrina, of course.
The League:
Personal - I would not have shot that man in Reno just to watch him die.
ah, heck... I would probably not have spent each and every weekend watching VH1. I probably would have tried to make something of my life. Whoops. Too late.
Also, probably should have tried to train Lucy at some point.
MacroCosmic - Stopped Galactus, Eater of Planets, from destroying Marklarr VII, home of a crystalline intelligence unlike any known in the 4 quadrants of the Faizuul Nebula.
Also, maybe, done some Paul Revere work to try to save New Orleans and/ or the residents.
RESULTS:
How do some of you have no regrets from the past year? Jesus. That's some serious confidence. Or something.
I think we're agreed that Katrina blew chunks. As well as Rita (sorry about all that displacement, Jim D.).
Mr. Bobcat gets special points for maybe winning a million dollars (I have some great investment opportunities if you're looking to make a lot of money in the Arizona Ocean-Front Property business. Actually, that's the plot to Superman I, isn't it?).
For a guy who actually was kicked out of his home for a few weeks by a natural disaster, Jim D. remains philosophical. However, he was a Rita victim and probably knew to get the hell out of the way.
Harms probably meant to be darling, but I've noticed his girlfriend is now in every answer. I may need to start making fun of you now.
Tamara gets triple points for the "LSAT" response.
Nat, didn't know about the divorce. The guy was a bastard and you're better off without him. Now, if you're looking to start over and are looking for a guy who is a lot like, uh... Chewbacca... may I suggest Steanso..? He's a unique fixer-upper-opportunity.
Peabo, I just want to know how you would phrase it to the Danish cartoonist that their doodle was going to lead to dozens to deaths and weeks of rioting without making him think you were some sort of loony doomsday prophet.
Jamie's medical history isn't much to snicker about, and we're really not sure if extra pheresis would have helped. To be truthful, she seemed to be getting sick from the treatments for a while there, so I dunno what I would have done differently. Last year sucked.
I can also say that, if I knew more than five of you were going to respond, my list of questions would have been a lot shorter. Getting these results up has officially turned into work. When was the last time I had a normal post? Ah, hell... you monkeys probably are enjoying this more than the usual Superman-related post.
Time Travel. It's completely impossible (sorry Star Trek), and the very concept drives Jim D. into a mad frenzy for reasons he will actually go into all on his own. Yet film after film and cheap paperback after cheap paperback and an endless flood of comics and Twilight Zone episodes dwell on the possibility of "yeah, but what if...?" Plus, Jim kept bugging me about a time travel paradox question and some book he'd just read while I was working on my list.
So, we at The League of Melbotis, felt a time-travel question was a good one to ask Loyal Leaguers. After all, you all seem like a mass of insecurity and regret. But you can't really do this right without giving people a chance to change both themself and the world.
On to the question...
Question 10:
If I had a time machine with a single use, and my time travelling would not be filled with all sorts of crazy logic problems, I would go back to fix this one thing this year
--in my personal life
--on a more macrocosmic level
Eric Nordtrom:
--in my personal life
I wouldn't have allowed that thief to get ahold of my debit card number.
--on a more macrocosmic level
I'd have gone back to the Sunday before the levees broke, and chartered a convoy of buses to take everyone from New Orleans to ...
Ohio.
Tamara:
--in my personal life:
Switch actual LSAT score with best practice LSAT score. Come to think of it: Switch out actual day-to-day life generally with best practice day-to-day life.
--on a more macrocosmic level:
(editor's note: no answer)
Natalie:
--in my personal life: My marriage, but I truly believe it was unfixable (if that's a word).
--on a more macrocosmic level: The evacuation plan for New Orleans -- they should have bussed people out BEFORE the hurricane not after.
Jim D.:
First off, I don't believe you can use time travel to go back and "fix" anything. This is what irks me about time travel fiction in film and books. For the literary theory of time travel to be consistent, the time traveler can only play a role (known or more likely, unknown) in bringing about that which is already happened. He or she may attempt to change things or to bring about a different history, but whatever he or she does, he or she will only influence history in a way that will bring about the history we already know. So, on that level, this question is moot. But I don't think The League was seeking quite a nerdy objection to its question, so I must proceed.
--in my personal life
I doubt there is anything "this year" that I would go back and change. Really, any ripple effect from a temporal change would need to begin at least several years ago, as my life has been mostly the same for quite some time. I might go back to the summer of 1998 and tell myself to accept the job in Manhattan. I wonder how my life would have ended up if I had taken that job. Would I still be in NYC? Would I have ever gone to law school? If so, would I have gone to Baylor? What would I be doing now? Where would I be? Would you be reading this right now? Would the Mellies exist? Would the League's site? I might go back to 1994 and tell myself to study abroad (or at least, study more at home).
--on a more macrocosmic level
I don't know if I would want the responsibility of changing something on the macrocosmic level. I suppose the proper answer is to warn of or attempt to prevent some type of disaster or attack. I don't know what I would do. I would probably just prevent George Lucas from making (or remaking or reworking or redoing) any film after Empire Strikes Back). Sure, we would lose Indy, but I'm comfortable with that, especially since they are soon to ruin that franchise with a new sequel (and the second and third installments weren't that good to begin with, anyway).
Ryan V.:
--in my personal life
--on a more macrocosmic level
I have no regrets. Or at least I’m not admitting them on my public blog.
Peabo:
--in my personal life
Never make someone who has done nothing to prove his value a partner in your firm.
--on a more macrocosmic level
I might have told that guy to hold off on the cartoon of Mohammed. Not that I have a problem with it in any way, but lots of people died. Over a cartoon. A cartoon. But military action is not the way to resolve problems, we should really get the angry cartoon killers back at the negotiating table. I’m sure there is a lot of fruitful discussion to be had with people who advocate the wholesale destruction of another nation and deny the Holocaust ever happened. These people clearly have the mindset to reach a compromise and a roadmap to peace.
Denise:
-None come to mind. I might not be the same person if I changed past events. You know….don’t mess with the whole “space-time continuum”
RHPT:
• in my personal life
Clearly I would fix my failure to win a single Powerball drawing.
• on a more macrocosmic level
Hurricane Katrina. I don't know how, but that's what I would fix.
Nathan:
--in my personal life: I'd eat better.
--on a more macrocosmic level: I'd help evacuate people from New Orleans sooner.
Social Bobcat:
--in my personal life
-would have called my grandfather on his birthday
--on a more macrocosmic level
-would have called my grandfather on his birthday to tell him that i'd just won a million dollars on sports gambling in Vegas
Maxwell:
--in my personal life:
I had an interview at a network and I was offered coffee and I took it and I was drinking my coffee in the interview and I missed my mouth in the interview and spilled the coffee on myself. And uh. I wouldn't do that.
--on a more macrocosmic level:
More recycling.
Harms:
--in my personal life
My personal life has never been better. I'm in love with my girlfriend and think she's the best girlfriend ever.
--on a more macrocosmic level
I'd like to record every failure of communication within all levels of government in terms of Katrina. I'd like to show this to the world as a demonstration of why great companies fail and why a "CEO president" is something we should run away from, fast.
Steanso:
personal- go back in time and get out of my old job much sooner. I kept working there in the hopes that things would get better, but they just got worse and worse and finally I got laid off.
macrocosmic- I'd go back and warn those New Orleanians that Hurricane Katrina was bringing her own little judgement day along with her.
CrackBass:
--in my personal life: quit old job sooner, taken more time off in between old and new jobs
--on a more macrocosmic level:
eliminate dick cheney and or karl rove
Reed-o:
--in my personal life
Valentine's Day 2006 (don't even ask; let's just say I screwed up on this day for the first time in the 13 years that we have been going out / married)
And if I could go back farther than this year, the Wilson Festivus 2004 party
--on a more macrocosmic level
I can't even began to narrow this down. It would be any number of the rotten things that our government has done to the world and it's own citizens over the past year. I would do everthing in my power to stop it. I don't have any more time to pick out one specific thing (sorry, it's 12:30 CST on March 15th).
D. Loyd: Too early to say.
--in my personal life. Family issues.
--on a more macrocosmic level. Aliens!
Jamie:
Personal - I would have gone to my plasmapheresis treatments more often. Maybe I wouldn't be on dialysis now if I had.
Macrocosmic - I would have evacuated everyone from the New Orleans/Gulf Coast area and have improved the levees to handle a category 5 hurricane. This is all prior to Katrina, of course.
The League:
Personal - I would not have shot that man in Reno just to watch him die.
ah, heck... I would probably not have spent each and every weekend watching VH1. I probably would have tried to make something of my life. Whoops. Too late.
Also, probably should have tried to train Lucy at some point.
MacroCosmic - Stopped Galactus, Eater of Planets, from destroying Marklarr VII, home of a crystalline intelligence unlike any known in the 4 quadrants of the Faizuul Nebula.
Also, maybe, done some Paul Revere work to try to save New Orleans and/ or the residents.
RESULTS:
How do some of you have no regrets from the past year? Jesus. That's some serious confidence. Or something.
I think we're agreed that Katrina blew chunks. As well as Rita (sorry about all that displacement, Jim D.).
Mr. Bobcat gets special points for maybe winning a million dollars (I have some great investment opportunities if you're looking to make a lot of money in the Arizona Ocean-Front Property business. Actually, that's the plot to Superman I, isn't it?).
For a guy who actually was kicked out of his home for a few weeks by a natural disaster, Jim D. remains philosophical. However, he was a Rita victim and probably knew to get the hell out of the way.
Harms probably meant to be darling, but I've noticed his girlfriend is now in every answer. I may need to start making fun of you now.
Tamara gets triple points for the "LSAT" response.
Nat, didn't know about the divorce. The guy was a bastard and you're better off without him. Now, if you're looking to start over and are looking for a guy who is a lot like, uh... Chewbacca... may I suggest Steanso..? He's a unique fixer-upper-opportunity.
Peabo, I just want to know how you would phrase it to the Danish cartoonist that their doodle was going to lead to dozens to deaths and weeks of rioting without making him think you were some sort of loony doomsday prophet.
Jamie's medical history isn't much to snicker about, and we're really not sure if extra pheresis would have helped. To be truthful, she seemed to be getting sick from the treatments for a while there, so I dunno what I would have done differently. Last year sucked.
I can also say that, if I knew more than five of you were going to respond, my list of questions would have been a lot shorter. Getting these results up has officially turned into work. When was the last time I had a normal post? Ah, hell... you monkeys probably are enjoying this more than the usual Superman-related post.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
The Notorious Question Number Nine
Human sexuality. It's an odd, frightening beast. People tend to go absolutely nutzo over the topic.
With the inundation of TV into our culture, I am both relieved and grateful that you all did not decide to pick a person they knew, because I couldn't handle the fall-out. TV's given us a vast landscape of secret crushes and programs we watch for all the wrong reasons. It happens and it's okay. Just no stalking, people.
So this was every Leaguer's opportunity to reveal their secret crush.
Let me also say I'm impressed with the candor here. Although Mr. Bobcat was curiously silent...
Question 9:
I never mentioned it, but you know who is kind of hot..?
Eric Nordtrom: Lois Griffin.
Tamara: Second runner-up: Allen Greenspan. Austrian-school economics makes for sizzling pillow talk . . . plus, he sort of reminds me of Droopy Dog, for whom I also harbor a secret crush.
First runner-up: Don Rumsfeld. Supremely confident, unabashed, this man don't suffer no fools. In the words of the inimitable (thank God!) Paris, "That's hot."
Heretofore-unmentioned steaminess winner: Werner Herzog. "Burden of [MY] Dreams"!
Natalie: Anderson Cooper. Mmm.
Jim D.: Well, the way this question is asked, or at least the way that I parse it, suggests that I should name someone who you wouldn't ordinarily consider to meet the traditional definition of "hotness" but who, upon further reflection, is indeed hot.
All I can say, though, is that I have been watching the BBC show "Hustle" on AMC, and you will find my answer to this question here. Alas.
Ryan V.: Karen from Will & Grace, a show I have come to loathe.
Peabo: I’m married. I no longer look at woman like objects. Having said that, Laura Bush. Okay, maybe hot is an extreme exaggeration, but she has aged gracefully. Easily the best looking first lady ever.
Denise: Legolas Greenleaf, AKA Orlando Bloom. Not hot in other roles. Hot as an elf.
RHPT: I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to say: "Colin Farrell". Say what you will about his acting or his movies, but he's a good looking man.
Nathan: Redheads.
Social Bobcat: (editor's note: no answer.)
Maxwell: Philip Seymour Hoffman. What?
Harms: Well first of all, my honey. She's smokin'. I take it that you want someone famous though. Here goes.
Kelly Reilly. Actress, British. Starred in "L'Auberge Espagnol" and had a cameo as Mr. Bingley's sister is the new version of Pride and Prejudice. While she was undoubtedly pretty in the clever quarter-life crisis movie, she was pre-Raphaelite cripplingly stunning in the latter.
Steanso: Grace Park, who plays Lieutenant Sharon Valerii, callsign "Boomer" on Battlestar Galactica. Always been damn good looking, but there's competition on that show...
CrackBass: Justin Timberlake?
Reed-o: No doubt. Katee Sackhoff.
D. Loyd: Allyson Hannigan. And I HAVE said it.
Jamie: Hmm...I think this is a trick question for my husband to find someone to tease me about. Nonetheless, I shall answer and answer truthfully for fear of getting the Boo. Daniel Dae Kim from LOST. But I would scratch the 'kind of' from that statement.
The League: Oh my. This is a tough one. For the love of Mike, I've got a column called "Dames in the Media The League Once Dug". Do I bear any secret crushes? And how many times can I bring up Lynda Carter without getting in trouble with the wife?
It seems in poor taste on the 25th anniversary of the attempt on Pres. Reagan to bring up Jodie Foster, so I will not. But, you know, uh, Jodie Foster. She had me at "Lambs. The lambs were screaming."
Anyway, Jamie suggested I bring up the next candidate for DITMTLOD, which would be vintage-Trek Lt. Uhura. But that would be using up a perfectly good DITMTLOD. (You guys can have your Yeoman Rand. Give me a sassy comm officer any day.)
So, anyhow, I didn't bring it up, but you know who was kind of hot? "Sister Mary Jane" from the A&E series "Rollergirls". She was six feet of hard-hitting Roller Derby action. You just can't go wrong with that. And she throws a mean right hook in a fight.
RESULTS
I'm watching the wrong shows. Apparently the ladies of "BattleStar Galactica" are quite easy on the eye. However, Jim D., a steadfast BG supporter has turned his affections elsewhere.
I'll be honest, Peabo takes the cake for the answer that surprised me the most. He managed to trump even RHPT, who managed to find a way to answer the question without incorporating his gaga affection for The Mysterious M, which is what I had expected. Peabo, my friend of 20-odd years, you continue to blow my mind.
Shit. I totally didn't call you on your birthday. Happy belated birthday, Peabo.
Harms gets a nod for including his new girlfriend. Again, do it next year and we shall all make fun of what a sissy you've become.
Maxwell picks an unusual but understandable choice.
Nathan gives a nice blanket answer.
Natalie picks a surprising one. I fear she will become one of those weird ladies who joins an online club called something like "Anderson's Chicken-Coop".
Tamara shows a naughty side none of us suspected... quadruple points, by order of the Pentagon.
In no way does Jamie's selection surprise me. Sometimes the less you say, the more it reveals. She's just been pulling for this "Jin" fellow a suspicious amount.
Nord, my man, we're going to have to talk about your interest in bulbous headed cartoon mothers of three. You've got yourself an interesting little crush there. Care to elaborate?
Anyhoo, no "boo". Ya'll were largely honest, so I see no reason to "boo" any of you. Well, maybe Mr. Bobcat.
And, Denise, based on your apparent proclivities, have I got a man for you....
Human sexuality. It's an odd, frightening beast. People tend to go absolutely nutzo over the topic.
With the inundation of TV into our culture, I am both relieved and grateful that you all did not decide to pick a person they knew, because I couldn't handle the fall-out. TV's given us a vast landscape of secret crushes and programs we watch for all the wrong reasons. It happens and it's okay. Just no stalking, people.
So this was every Leaguer's opportunity to reveal their secret crush.
Let me also say I'm impressed with the candor here. Although Mr. Bobcat was curiously silent...
Question 9:
I never mentioned it, but you know who is kind of hot..?
Eric Nordtrom: Lois Griffin.
Tamara: Second runner-up: Allen Greenspan. Austrian-school economics makes for sizzling pillow talk . . . plus, he sort of reminds me of Droopy Dog, for whom I also harbor a secret crush.
First runner-up: Don Rumsfeld. Supremely confident, unabashed, this man don't suffer no fools. In the words of the inimitable (thank God!) Paris, "That's hot."
Heretofore-unmentioned steaminess winner: Werner Herzog. "Burden of [MY] Dreams"!
Natalie: Anderson Cooper. Mmm.
Jim D.: Well, the way this question is asked, or at least the way that I parse it, suggests that I should name someone who you wouldn't ordinarily consider to meet the traditional definition of "hotness" but who, upon further reflection, is indeed hot.
All I can say, though, is that I have been watching the BBC show "Hustle" on AMC, and you will find my answer to this question here. Alas.
Ryan V.: Karen from Will & Grace, a show I have come to loathe.
Peabo: I’m married. I no longer look at woman like objects. Having said that, Laura Bush. Okay, maybe hot is an extreme exaggeration, but she has aged gracefully. Easily the best looking first lady ever.
Denise: Legolas Greenleaf, AKA Orlando Bloom. Not hot in other roles. Hot as an elf.
RHPT: I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to say: "Colin Farrell". Say what you will about his acting or his movies, but he's a good looking man.
Nathan: Redheads.
Social Bobcat: (editor's note: no answer.)
Maxwell: Philip Seymour Hoffman. What?
Harms: Well first of all, my honey. She's smokin'. I take it that you want someone famous though. Here goes.
Kelly Reilly. Actress, British. Starred in "L'Auberge Espagnol" and had a cameo as Mr. Bingley's sister is the new version of Pride and Prejudice. While she was undoubtedly pretty in the clever quarter-life crisis movie, she was pre-Raphaelite cripplingly stunning in the latter.
Steanso: Grace Park, who plays Lieutenant Sharon Valerii, callsign "Boomer" on Battlestar Galactica. Always been damn good looking, but there's competition on that show...
CrackBass: Justin Timberlake?
Reed-o: No doubt. Katee Sackhoff.
D. Loyd: Allyson Hannigan. And I HAVE said it.
Jamie: Hmm...I think this is a trick question for my husband to find someone to tease me about. Nonetheless, I shall answer and answer truthfully for fear of getting the Boo. Daniel Dae Kim from LOST. But I would scratch the 'kind of' from that statement.
The League: Oh my. This is a tough one. For the love of Mike, I've got a column called "Dames in the Media The League Once Dug". Do I bear any secret crushes? And how many times can I bring up Lynda Carter without getting in trouble with the wife?
It seems in poor taste on the 25th anniversary of the attempt on Pres. Reagan to bring up Jodie Foster, so I will not. But, you know, uh, Jodie Foster. She had me at "Lambs. The lambs were screaming."
Anyway, Jamie suggested I bring up the next candidate for DITMTLOD, which would be vintage-Trek Lt. Uhura. But that would be using up a perfectly good DITMTLOD. (You guys can have your Yeoman Rand. Give me a sassy comm officer any day.)
So, anyhow, I didn't bring it up, but you know who was kind of hot? "Sister Mary Jane" from the A&E series "Rollergirls". She was six feet of hard-hitting Roller Derby action. You just can't go wrong with that. And she throws a mean right hook in a fight.
RESULTS
I'm watching the wrong shows. Apparently the ladies of "BattleStar Galactica" are quite easy on the eye. However, Jim D., a steadfast BG supporter has turned his affections elsewhere.
I'll be honest, Peabo takes the cake for the answer that surprised me the most. He managed to trump even RHPT, who managed to find a way to answer the question without incorporating his gaga affection for The Mysterious M, which is what I had expected. Peabo, my friend of 20-odd years, you continue to blow my mind.
Shit. I totally didn't call you on your birthday. Happy belated birthday, Peabo.
Harms gets a nod for including his new girlfriend. Again, do it next year and we shall all make fun of what a sissy you've become.
Maxwell picks an unusual but understandable choice.
Nathan gives a nice blanket answer.
Natalie picks a surprising one. I fear she will become one of those weird ladies who joins an online club called something like "Anderson's Chicken-Coop".
Tamara shows a naughty side none of us suspected... quadruple points, by order of the Pentagon.
In no way does Jamie's selection surprise me. Sometimes the less you say, the more it reveals. She's just been pulling for this "Jin" fellow a suspicious amount.
Nord, my man, we're going to have to talk about your interest in bulbous headed cartoon mothers of three. You've got yourself an interesting little crush there. Care to elaborate?
Anyhoo, no "boo". Ya'll were largely honest, so I see no reason to "boo" any of you. Well, maybe Mr. Bobcat.
And, Denise, based on your apparent proclivities, have I got a man for you....
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
The Enigmatic Eighth Question.
So this turned out a little different from what I had in mind, but, you know, you're all beings of free will. And The League is here to help you voice your mind, God help us all.
Anyhoo, things get decidedly partisan up in here. So, you know, try not to go all monkeyshit on me here in the comments section if you have a beef with how this turned out.
Others of you seemed highly reluctant to participate. Suspiciously reluctant.
Question 8:
God help me, but when I saw this on the news, I was secretly gleeful
Eric Nordtrom: When Katie Couric got shit on by that bird.
Tamara: (editor's note: No answer)
Natalie: Tom Delay indicted. Heh.
Jim D.: I am not sure that any news make me gleeful, secretive or otherwise.
Ryan V: I got nothing.
Peabo: The riots in France. Of course, it is tragic that anyone would lose their life in such events, but after all their anti-American policy hullabaloo, and higher than thou attitude towards resolving Islamic fanaticism with speeches and olive branches, you had to imagine the head scratching going on when those same disgruntled Islamic youths almost burned down their city. Almost as funny as the U.N. probe revealing they were getting kickbacks and violating the food for oil program. Might want to watch the stone throwing over in that glass house you call a country.
Denise: New Orleans evacuees were evacuated from Houston during Hurricane Rita. I was seriously happy to hear this. Unfortunately, many found their way back to Houston. Hummm…how to get rid of them again…
RHPT: This is going to paint me in a bad light, but I'm always secretly gleeful when something happens that negatively affects (effects?) Bush. I don’t think it’s because I’m so partisan, but simply because he wasn’t the horse I backed. I’m highly competitive, and I hate it when the team/person/thing I’m rooting for loses and in turn I end up despising the winner. Did I mention I am a sore loser?
Nathan: The nature of this question scares me for some reason. I fear it might lead me to a dark place.
Social Bobcat: (editor's note: no answer)
Maxwell: You mean Cheney was actually holding a smoking gun?
Harms: I lament the loss of life in New Orleans, really. But I'm fascinated by Katrina's side effects
* New Orleans was a hole, a stinky, fetid, sweaty, humid hole. Yet it was something distinctly American and it deserves to rise again. Yet in America we've never seen a city razed in modern times. It seems to be our "Death in Venice" moment.
* Ray Nagin. What a nut. He should have a talk show on Fox. Chocolate city, you couldn't make that stuff up.
* Barbara Bush: Almost everyone I've talked to said we're going to move to Houston. What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. (Said with concern.) Everybody is so overwhelmed by all the hospitality. And so many of the peoples in the arena here, you know, they're underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them.
It almost explains why GWB turned to drinking and eyebrow plucking.
* Is Tool right: The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. And will the city that returns be the Disney version: a simulacrum of real Disney?
Steanso: Hurricane Rita hits Beaumont. I already had houseguests staying with me for ACL Fest, so when my parents called me to see if they could evacuate to my house from their place in Houston, I had to tell them there was no more room at the inn. Once they found out my house wasn't an option, my parents decided to ride out the storm in Houston instead of getting a hotel or staying with my cousin in Austin, thereby setting me up for a lifetime of guilt if the hurricane had hit Houston and wreaked Katrina-like damage. Sorry, Beaumont, but thank you for avoiding Houston, Rita.
CrackBass: Civil war in Iraq. Sucks for everyone, but I just hope people get rid of GW Jr.
Reed-o: I can't narrow this one down. Again, I have been secretly gleeful each time I see the current administration screw up, and do exactly what was predicted by naysayers and experts. Whether, it's the growing disparity between rich and poor, the mishandling of Katrina, the mishandling of Iraq, the pervasive corruption, the leaking of classified information, the destruction of personal freedoms, the raping of the Constitution and Bill of Rights, the lack of funding for No Child Left Behind, the trillion dollar deficit, etc. Each time they screw the American people and the world, I am secretly gleeful because that's who the American people decided in 2004 was the best person and party to run the most powerful country in the world, but not me. You made your bed now lie in it. I think I'm getting too cynical.
D. Loyd: I can't say it. It would get me killed.
Jamie: The passing of Slobodan Milosevic. I am not one who believes in death as punishment, but this guy was one evil bastard.
The League: Jesus H. Christ, people. I was just going to say something about an olympic skiier falling off a mountain or something. This questions was actually prompted by an experience I had during the Olympics when I found myself laughing really hard and being simultaneously horrified watching someone who had knocked themself out on the luge and was still cruising down the pipe, totally unconscious. It was funny, like when a clown dies.
THE RESULTS:
Well, a fair number of you like to see Bush fail. That seems to be a crowd pleaser. Depending on your POV, you must spend quite a bit of time giggling and clapping your hands. I am sure some of you are even now smoothing your ruffled feathers after reading this list. I shall keep it simple and say that the most Leaguers have a good hearty guffaw when the president is proven wrong.
The "?" goes out to Jim D., whose answer I do not understand, and if I do understand it, what sort of emotionless robot has Jim D. become? How sad.
Maxwell gets points for making me laugh.
Nordstrom gets double extra points for singling out Kouric's deserved misfortune.
D. Loyd gets points for paranoia.
Nathan wins the most points for rightfully turning away from the darkness within.
Peabo loses a few points for not finding a way to also condemn the Canadians. No particular reason. It's just part of our platform here at The League. Unreasoning hatred for Canada.
So this turned out a little different from what I had in mind, but, you know, you're all beings of free will. And The League is here to help you voice your mind, God help us all.
Anyhoo, things get decidedly partisan up in here. So, you know, try not to go all monkeyshit on me here in the comments section if you have a beef with how this turned out.
Others of you seemed highly reluctant to participate. Suspiciously reluctant.
Question 8:
God help me, but when I saw this on the news, I was secretly gleeful
Eric Nordtrom: When Katie Couric got shit on by that bird.
Tamara: (editor's note: No answer)
Natalie: Tom Delay indicted. Heh.
Jim D.: I am not sure that any news make me gleeful, secretive or otherwise.
Ryan V: I got nothing.
Peabo: The riots in France. Of course, it is tragic that anyone would lose their life in such events, but after all their anti-American policy hullabaloo, and higher than thou attitude towards resolving Islamic fanaticism with speeches and olive branches, you had to imagine the head scratching going on when those same disgruntled Islamic youths almost burned down their city. Almost as funny as the U.N. probe revealing they were getting kickbacks and violating the food for oil program. Might want to watch the stone throwing over in that glass house you call a country.
Denise: New Orleans evacuees were evacuated from Houston during Hurricane Rita. I was seriously happy to hear this. Unfortunately, many found their way back to Houston. Hummm…how to get rid of them again…
RHPT: This is going to paint me in a bad light, but I'm always secretly gleeful when something happens that negatively affects (effects?) Bush. I don’t think it’s because I’m so partisan, but simply because he wasn’t the horse I backed. I’m highly competitive, and I hate it when the team/person/thing I’m rooting for loses and in turn I end up despising the winner. Did I mention I am a sore loser?
Nathan: The nature of this question scares me for some reason. I fear it might lead me to a dark place.
Social Bobcat: (editor's note: no answer)
Maxwell: You mean Cheney was actually holding a smoking gun?
Harms: I lament the loss of life in New Orleans, really. But I'm fascinated by Katrina's side effects
* New Orleans was a hole, a stinky, fetid, sweaty, humid hole. Yet it was something distinctly American and it deserves to rise again. Yet in America we've never seen a city razed in modern times. It seems to be our "Death in Venice" moment.
* Ray Nagin. What a nut. He should have a talk show on Fox. Chocolate city, you couldn't make that stuff up.
* Barbara Bush: Almost everyone I've talked to said we're going to move to Houston. What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. (Said with concern.) Everybody is so overwhelmed by all the hospitality. And so many of the peoples in the arena here, you know, they're underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them.
It almost explains why GWB turned to drinking and eyebrow plucking.
* Is Tool right: The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. And will the city that returns be the Disney version: a simulacrum of real Disney?
Steanso: Hurricane Rita hits Beaumont. I already had houseguests staying with me for ACL Fest, so when my parents called me to see if they could evacuate to my house from their place in Houston, I had to tell them there was no more room at the inn. Once they found out my house wasn't an option, my parents decided to ride out the storm in Houston instead of getting a hotel or staying with my cousin in Austin, thereby setting me up for a lifetime of guilt if the hurricane had hit Houston and wreaked Katrina-like damage. Sorry, Beaumont, but thank you for avoiding Houston, Rita.
CrackBass: Civil war in Iraq. Sucks for everyone, but I just hope people get rid of GW Jr.
Reed-o: I can't narrow this one down. Again, I have been secretly gleeful each time I see the current administration screw up, and do exactly what was predicted by naysayers and experts. Whether, it's the growing disparity between rich and poor, the mishandling of Katrina, the mishandling of Iraq, the pervasive corruption, the leaking of classified information, the destruction of personal freedoms, the raping of the Constitution and Bill of Rights, the lack of funding for No Child Left Behind, the trillion dollar deficit, etc. Each time they screw the American people and the world, I am secretly gleeful because that's who the American people decided in 2004 was the best person and party to run the most powerful country in the world, but not me. You made your bed now lie in it. I think I'm getting too cynical.
D. Loyd: I can't say it. It would get me killed.
Jamie: The passing of Slobodan Milosevic. I am not one who believes in death as punishment, but this guy was one evil bastard.
The League: Jesus H. Christ, people. I was just going to say something about an olympic skiier falling off a mountain or something. This questions was actually prompted by an experience I had during the Olympics when I found myself laughing really hard and being simultaneously horrified watching someone who had knocked themself out on the luge and was still cruising down the pipe, totally unconscious. It was funny, like when a clown dies.
THE RESULTS:
Well, a fair number of you like to see Bush fail. That seems to be a crowd pleaser. Depending on your POV, you must spend quite a bit of time giggling and clapping your hands. I am sure some of you are even now smoothing your ruffled feathers after reading this list. I shall keep it simple and say that the most Leaguers have a good hearty guffaw when the president is proven wrong.
The "?" goes out to Jim D., whose answer I do not understand, and if I do understand it, what sort of emotionless robot has Jim D. become? How sad.
Maxwell gets points for making me laugh.
Nordstrom gets double extra points for singling out Kouric's deserved misfortune.
D. Loyd gets points for paranoia.
Nathan wins the most points for rightfully turning away from the darkness within.
Peabo loses a few points for not finding a way to also condemn the Canadians. No particular reason. It's just part of our platform here at The League. Unreasoning hatred for Canada.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The Stupendous Seventh Question
Boy, was this one not a very prbing question. Still, you guys all really stepped up and came up with really disgusting answers. I no longer believe any of you about anything.
Food. It's necessary to sustain life. Even plants eat nutrients and whatnot. But we're not plants, are we? No. You can tell, because we have tongues. Tongues with little tiny tastebuds all aligned differently, a print as unique as your fingerprint. So different, in fact, that we don't all just eat big bowls of grape nuts all day every day.
We also have brains. Huge, swollen, warped brains. Sometimes our brain is full of a pack of lies which only those miraculous tastebuds can wipe away. Today, we look past the pile of lies dwelling in our head and delve into the truth about chow.
Question 7:
You know what's surprisingly good, but you'd never think it ? (category: food)
Eric Nordtrom: Birria (baby goat)
Tamara: Garlic ice cream with caramel sauce from the Stinkin' Rose in San Fran. I ate it at the height of my Anorexia, for Heaven's sake. That's got to be a pretty strong testament to its yumminess . . . in a sick sort of way.
Natalie: Whew, what a broad category. Umm. Blue Bell's Banana Pudding Ice Cream?
Jim D.: Arizona Diet Green Tea. I can't get enough of that stuff.
Ryan V.: Rice Crackers with Nuts oriental snack mix from Costco.
Peabo: The spinach & pineapple health shake at the vegetarian restaurant near my house.
Denise: Sushi.
RHPT: My stir-fry Spam recipe. Everyone thinks it's gross, but once they try it, they admit it's really good. I lived on it through college.
Nathan: A well-prepared salad can actually taste good.
Social Bobcat: Peanut butter and banana sandwiches - probably one of the few things that Elvis and I would have agreed upon
Maxwell: Well we know it's not the Jones Soda Thanksgiving Feast.
Harms: Korean Barley Tea. For my palette I always considered Barley to be only
ingestible in beer format, but a Korean co-worker introduced me and I rather
enjoy it.
Steanso: surprisingly good food- the corn dog shrimp at Moonshine
CrackBass: Truffle oil
Reed-o: A few of Jen's tofu receipes. Purple cow - grape juice and vanilla ice cream
(later, Reed sent this in) Clarification on #7. Purple cow was a second response. There is no tofu in a purple cow.
D. Loyd: Steamed Cod Eyeballs.
Jamie: Cinn-A-Stack French Toast at IHOP . So sweeeeeeeeet. They're delicious!
The League: I dunno. Uhm. The McRib.
RESULTS
Wow. No two Leaguers wanted to share their love of the same food. ach of you is as unique as your tongueprint. Congrats.
Boo goes out to Mr. Bobcat for simultaneously praising the peanut butter and nanner sandwich while dissing the King. We have few rules here at The League, but one of them is that we do not discuss the ugly realities of The King and, rather, choose to believe in the imaginary icon that The King should mean to us all.
Also, a "boo" for Nord who is eating the very cute baby goats. You've made Jamie cry. She loves the cute baby goats.
Special points for Tamara for not running in fear from.. what was it? Garlic ice cream? That sounds great with, like, artichoke sauce. Bleah. I'm going to have to take your word on that. At least you were keeping the vampires away while getting a delicious treat.
Well, this has been a real eye-opener for us here at The League. You people seem willing to shove any old item down your food hole as long as someone tells you it's okay, and you don't even need a bet to do it.
You're all crazy. Aside from Steanso, who stuck close to Steans Bros. nature and chose the deep fried item. And Jamie. Who chose "Sugar" as her answer. And Jim, who chose "tea". That sounds safe. I might actually try it.
Boy, was this one not a very prbing question. Still, you guys all really stepped up and came up with really disgusting answers. I no longer believe any of you about anything.
Food. It's necessary to sustain life. Even plants eat nutrients and whatnot. But we're not plants, are we? No. You can tell, because we have tongues. Tongues with little tiny tastebuds all aligned differently, a print as unique as your fingerprint. So different, in fact, that we don't all just eat big bowls of grape nuts all day every day.
We also have brains. Huge, swollen, warped brains. Sometimes our brain is full of a pack of lies which only those miraculous tastebuds can wipe away. Today, we look past the pile of lies dwelling in our head and delve into the truth about chow.
Question 7:
You know what's surprisingly good, but you'd never think it ? (category: food)
Eric Nordtrom: Birria (baby goat)
Tamara: Garlic ice cream with caramel sauce from the Stinkin' Rose in San Fran. I ate it at the height of my Anorexia, for Heaven's sake. That's got to be a pretty strong testament to its yumminess . . . in a sick sort of way.
Natalie: Whew, what a broad category. Umm. Blue Bell's Banana Pudding Ice Cream?
Jim D.: Arizona Diet Green Tea. I can't get enough of that stuff.
Ryan V.: Rice Crackers with Nuts oriental snack mix from Costco.
Peabo: The spinach & pineapple health shake at the vegetarian restaurant near my house.
Denise: Sushi.
RHPT: My stir-fry Spam recipe. Everyone thinks it's gross, but once they try it, they admit it's really good. I lived on it through college.
Nathan: A well-prepared salad can actually taste good.
Social Bobcat: Peanut butter and banana sandwiches - probably one of the few things that Elvis and I would have agreed upon
Maxwell: Well we know it's not the Jones Soda Thanksgiving Feast.
Harms: Korean Barley Tea. For my palette I always considered Barley to be only
ingestible in beer format, but a Korean co-worker introduced me and I rather
enjoy it.
Steanso: surprisingly good food- the corn dog shrimp at Moonshine
CrackBass: Truffle oil
Reed-o: A few of Jen's tofu receipes. Purple cow - grape juice and vanilla ice cream
(later, Reed sent this in) Clarification on #7. Purple cow was a second response. There is no tofu in a purple cow.
D. Loyd: Steamed Cod Eyeballs.
Jamie: Cinn-A-Stack French Toast at IHOP . So sweeeeeeeeet. They're delicious!
The League: I dunno. Uhm. The McRib.
RESULTS
Wow. No two Leaguers wanted to share their love of the same food. ach of you is as unique as your tongueprint. Congrats.
Boo goes out to Mr. Bobcat for simultaneously praising the peanut butter and nanner sandwich while dissing the King. We have few rules here at The League, but one of them is that we do not discuss the ugly realities of The King and, rather, choose to believe in the imaginary icon that The King should mean to us all.
Also, a "boo" for Nord who is eating the very cute baby goats. You've made Jamie cry. She loves the cute baby goats.
Special points for Tamara for not running in fear from.. what was it? Garlic ice cream? That sounds great with, like, artichoke sauce. Bleah. I'm going to have to take your word on that. At least you were keeping the vampires away while getting a delicious treat.
Well, this has been a real eye-opener for us here at The League. You people seem willing to shove any old item down your food hole as long as someone tells you it's okay, and you don't even need a bet to do it.
You're all crazy. Aside from Steanso, who stuck close to Steans Bros. nature and chose the deep fried item. And Jamie. Who chose "Sugar" as her answer. And Jim, who chose "tea". That sounds safe. I might actually try it.
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