POLL POSITION


You know, you can always click on images to expand them to full size

1 in 3 Loyal Leaguers polled have it in for Star Jones. Understandable as the woman may be of less entertainment value while somehow still managing to fill the airwaves 24/7 than any other human being alive. In fact, we dislike Star more than insurgents, who are only 1/5th the menace of Star Jones.

1 in 5 Leaguers is frustrated with the Astros. What happened to the 'Stros? So mighty last year. This year, a decent team with play-off hopes, but where's the magic? Where's the pizzaz? They need to go back to the orange jerseys. Too much Minute Maid, not enough batting practice.

Ford has bought and commoditized Taylor Hicks before we even had a chance to get sick of what was surely to be an underwhelming, treacly romp through rough-throated pop disappointment. Possibilities? I possibly have already gotten annoyed with the man before he's sold a single record. 2 of you feel the same way.

The one mad scientist in the audience needs to look into some duct tape for his/her cracked foam. Keep reaching for the stars!

Somehow both little dictator Kim Jung Il and perky little TV personality Katie Couric escape unscathed. How does this happen? These people are the two greatest threats to national security. Someone please remind me of when Katie Couric ever worked in news. No. Not a morning show... News. And don't worry Kim Jung Il, lots of guys experience that problem.

And good 'ol Heat Rash makes an appearance. Well done, heat rash! Always a favorite with those experiencing some uncomfortable chafing.

Now, ya'll get to voting in the new poll.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and more weekend hi-jinks

Leaguer Michael recently saw POTC2. This was his review in its entirety:

The director had a vision. Roll things in the jungle. Roll them and roll them hard.

The end.

Michael's review is concise and accurate.

When I go to Chipotle, I like to get me a nice burrito. I know even their enormous tortillas can only hold so much volume and mass, but I like to see if I can push it. In my burritos I like chicken and black beans, some cheese and some pico and some rice. Rice is good. But I do not want a burrito completely overflowing with rice just so I can have a properly overstuffed tortilla.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

POTC2 was a lot of rice. Sure, tasty, zippy rice with barnacles, but I kept biting into it wondering why there wasn't enough chicken. And then there was this salsa I wasn't expecting, and it sort of came out of nowhere and seemed kind of pointless.

Now, my burrito analogy only holds up so far, because as you may know if you dine at Chipotle, the burrito is all you really need. So maybe I should have compared the movie to a two-taco lunch. Only that's not really accurate, because the other taco doesn't come out a year from now, and I'm not irritated that my movie/taco will be delayed.

anyway, I guess I give the movie a solid 6.3333 out of 10.

We waited and waited all morning for some realtor to show up. She did not. I have no idea what happened. She had also called us at 9:00 last night to let us know she was coming, so I sort of thought it was an emergency... like these people REALLY wanted to see the house.

The people who were supposed to come between 3:00 and 4:00 came squarely at 3:15. Goody for them. We put the dogs in the car and took them to Petsmart. Lucy picked out a stuffed ring-necked pheasant (state bird of S. Dakota).

I also watched the iTunes-available ($1.99) pilot for Aquaman, done by the same guys who are doing Smallville. They had planned to run it in the fall, call it something like "Mercy Reef" and... I dunno.

I want to know who at the WB decided their trademark would be to put out shows with beautiful people who aren't terribly talented. It just seemed like a missing episode of "Smallville", which, despite my love of all things Super, I gave up on last season. I just had such a "been there, done that" feeling while watching the show. I said to Jamie that I thought that was why the new UPN/WB network had passed on the show, and Jamie, who is wise, said "Are you kidding me? Since when has WB been afraid for everything on their network to look exactly the same? And isn't Smallville their biggest show?"

So, yeah, I have no idea why they didn't pick up Aquaman (or Aqualad, I guess, as he's not yet Aquaman). I just know I was not going to ever watch that show.

I am off to see if I can amuse Melbotis. He is sulky and sleepy.

Once upon a time I was a huge fan of both Space Ghost Coast to Coast and Cartoon Planet.

One could learn a lot from these programs, but one of the most important lessons I ever learned was about that thing that makes the world go 'round. No, not centripetal force. Love.


Brak!

Brak is sort of a space-pirate lion headed thing in a mask. Anyway, he was a regular member of the cast of Cartoon Planet. And his mysterious words were often filled with wisdom.

Brak's Definition of Love

You know, love is a happy time all throughout the universe.
It's when the male part of the species goes to the female part of the species and says: "Hey, do you want to go on a date?" And then she would say: "Why yes, I'd like to go on a date!" -if you're LUCKY!-
And then you go to a restaurant, and she gets something called "a salad." And then he gets a big piece of beef, that he eats.
And that to me ladies and gentlemen, is LOVE.
Kinda makes you cry, doesn't it?


I first heard this definition the year Jamie and I started dating. All I'm saying is: six years of marriage and no police reports yet! Pretty good, Eh? Eh?

I shared this definition with my parents lot too long ago, and they seemed to agree that it sounded pretty accurate, and those guys have been married, like, forever. So take that as you will, but I sort of think Brak speaks a bit of truth.

So for all you single folks out there fretting over how complicated this romance business can be, just try to keep Brak's words of wisdom and encouragement in mind.

SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALL RIGHT FOR BLOGGING

Well, Leaguers, we had ourselves a less than stellar Friday night and Saturday. As some of you may recall Jamie was having some trouble with migraines. Well, she's been on a pretty good preventative. Some might say... too good. She and her neurologist agreed that the preventative had been working (more or less) for so long, they couldn't be sure if the preventative was actually helping or if she wasn't having trouble anymore. So, they decided she should cut back on her preventative to see what was going on.

Long story short, we spent last night at the lovely new hospital about three miles from the house in their all-new emergency room. And, man, it was actually a pretty nice set-up. If you could ignore their "Nurse Call" alarm that sounded more than a little bit like a Disney Princess toy. Over. And over. And over.

Quote of the evening? By a young woman (who was wearing nothing but a bra for some reason) to her nurse: "The doctor said I had an er- er- ruptured ovarian cyst. I didn't even know I HAD an ovarian cyst!"

This somehow beats:
"Were you punched in the throat?"
"I dunno. I think I got hit like a thousand times! Huh huh huh huh huh!"
I have no idea what happened, but I saw the guy, and SOMEBODY beat the tar out of him. He was still managing to keep it sunny side up despite the black eye and whatnot. Good for him.

I've always been confused as to why more hospitals aren't networked or don't maintain a database of patient info at their fingertips. We may have gotten into the ER at 7:30, but Jamie was admitted much later. Well, Leaguers, there's nothing like trying to help a nurse input literally pages of fields when a nurse is a "hunt and peck" typist. Not to mention when the programmers insisted on a hard-coded list of options rather than allowing for blank fields in some key locations. Especially at 2:00 AM. Especially when the nurse is insisting she can't do anything until all the data is loaded. And then the lab tech accidentally fires a vial of Jamie's blood into the air and suddenly there's little drops of Jamie everywhere, inclduing the tech's otherwise sparkling white outfit.

Good times.

Most hospital cafeterias sell some incredibly unhealthy options for both their staff and for patient's families. Cheeseburgers, chicken fingers, etc... Not so at this place. Probably because the budget for this brand-spankin' new (albeit completely empty) cafeteria is much higher than is required to feed the handful of patients and staff actually in the hospital, it appears the cafeteria staff are going all Colonel Kurtz and fancy themselves gourmets. I had a lovely lunch of salmon with a mushroom-butter spread, whipped potatos with a hint of bacon, and fresh steamed asparagus. This meal would have run me $17 at minimum most places. At the hospital it ran me $7.00, with a large drink.

Anyhow, Jamie is doing fine (aside from some oddly high levels of potassium) and she's home again after being admitted over night and through most of the day. At least this hospital provides a half-way decent bed option for folks who want to spend the night. Just no pillows or blankets. Those you must steal from the elderly patients who cannot defend themselves.


In non-hospital related news, the house showed twice today. Which meant I also managed to get locked out. It's a long story, but it involves me, my house key being inside the house and an overzealous realtor. I was waiting to hear back from our realtor, Pat, whom I was hoping would be able to let me in with the key from our lockbox and in order to kill some time I went and wandered around some stores.

I found a little kid's Batman digital camera on sale for $19. It can fit neatly in your pocket, has built in memory, is compatible with decent memory cards, can shoot video and came with photo editing software and video recording software. $19. Some kid in a sweatshop in Thailand just made me a real bargain.


Lucy would like to steal your soul now, please!

I just want to say that I love this country so, so much...

Okay, not only did I end up liking "Who Wants to be a Superhero?", but I'm now watching "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace", and it may be the best show... ever. I'm also kind of pleased to see Mike Mignola's "Amazing Screw On Head" got his own show. Sure, it was just a single comic back around 2000, but I loved the concept back then.

I was pleased to see the very Stan Lee-like challenge put to the heroes on WWTBS?, and I was completely unsurprised to see the comic geek who "knew everything about every comic" got bounced. And I tell you this... my new favorite superheroes? Major Victory and Fat Momma (the two I was sure I would like least). By God, if I ever end up finally flipping my lid and donning tights, I think you'd just see a chubbier version of Major Victory running around. Now THAT'S superheroism, Leaguers.

I apologize for doubting the wisdom of Stan "The Man" Lee.

The show is now alomost over, and I just can't recommend "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace" enough.

Okay, okay... I think I like this "Who Wants to be a Superhero?" show. It's cheesy and kind of bad, but it's okay.

Excelsior!