Melbotis Mailbag: Emergency Edition
RHPT writes:
Dear Mel,
The Mysterious M has gathered her 8 closest friends from high school in Nashville this weekend, and four of them have made camp at our house (with 4 more arriving tomorrow as reinforcements). They have overrun the house - now with women's undergarments strewn around the house [and not in the good way] - and cornered me into the office with nothing but a laptop, internet connection, two cats, and left me without food or water. Please send help.
Dear Randy,
By the time we'd get to Tennessee it would be far too late. You're on the right track with the internet connection. Beware: You can't actually stay in the room the whole time or, by the end of the weekend, the stench will be unbearable .
My recommendation, take M's momentary distraction as your cue to hit your local comic shop. It will give you a chance to get out of the house and you can finally spend some quality time (and money) looking at comics without M worrying about when you're coming home.
I also suggest possibly hitting Best Buy and/ or your local record store.
If money is an issue, you say you have two cats. It's time to teach those cats to dance. Not only will it fill the time, you can also bid your guests a nice fairwell with a small dance number. Afterward, you go on the road with those dancing cats, Randy. You'll take the world by storm.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Melbotis Mailbag!
Yes, Leaguers, it's once again time for Melbotis Mailbag! The assembled might of League HQ is here to assist you in answering all of the questions which plague you.
Natalie writes:
Here's a question for your mailbag:
Do men identify with and/or aspire to be superheroes because of their innate desire to fix every problem they come across? Do you think a superhero that just listened to the problem and didn't jump right in with a solution or a fix would be considered a failure?
-Natalie, who contrary to indications pointing otherwise is not bitter and jaded. Yet.
Natalie, my dear, it sounds as if there's a subtext suggesting you're asking something completely different from the stated question, but since I'm not exactly clear on what that question is, I will take this on at face value.
This is a little boring, but I think the answer to your first questions is: Yes. Dudes would like to be able to resolve problems easily and efficiently. This is not just ridding the world of crime, but also changing a tire, mowing the lawn and making cheeseburgers. Thus, the pneumatic wrench, the powered lawn mower and the gas grill.
Moreover, I think a lot of people wish they had greater ability (ie: superhuman ability) to resolve problems they know they cannot solve as a flesh and blood mortal. Also, men like to wear tights. We don't talk about it much, but notice the pants on football players, the outfits on winter olympians and the speed suits on swimmers.
In answer to your second question, I think you have to draw a clearer picture of "listening", and when that might be appropriate. For example, Batman probably isn't going to want to take some share and care time with a guy about to stab someone 47 times in a dark alleyway. Iron Man isn't going to hang about listening to why Kang the Conqueror should get to rule all of history.
I do think that you'll find in Superman comics that The Man of Steel generally gives everybody an opportunity to put down their weapon and give up, or at least figure out what's going on in any situation before he starts slugging people. Superman knows who he is, and so does everyboy else, so you do get an opportunity for people to pause when he shows up to, say, foil a bank robbery.
Superheroes are a largely reactive bunch, not terribly proactive. I don't think they'd necessarily be considered a failure for trying to stop and think out a situation or learn the motivation of a perpetrator. I do think if you read most comics, the characters are either placed into a position where they MUST immediately react to a clear and obvious threat. Many a comic story has been written regarding a superhero walking into a situation throwing punches first and asking questions later, only to learn that they may have taken the wrong side.
Usually superhero teams will not just go running around slugging people, there usually is some discussion of appropriate plans of action with all viewpoints considered. For good examples of this, I suggest JLA and JSA comics.
The next question was submitted by Steanso, no doubt, to see what I would be willing to print. At the risk of any potential future employer deciding this post makes me unfit for employment, here we go.
Steanso writes:
Dear Melbotis,
Can you please explain the cause and the cure for the chafing, burning sensation that Jeff Wilson experiences in his crotch region whenever he participates in any extended outdoor activity? I have suggested that the sensation may be a biproduct of the hormones which the doctor has given him in anticipation of his gender reassignment surgery, but Jeff seems skeptical about this being at the root of his problem. For the good of Crackbass and of everyone who gets stuck watching him jiggle his junk, please help.
Steanso
Dear Lord.
Well, it was just a matter of time before the bi-curious antics of Steanso and CrackBass spilled over into LoM territory. I confess that neither my information nor the database at League HQ had any immediate answers. We do know that in the old west cowboys would use something called "crotch powder" to keep themselves from chafing from the hours and hours in the saddle. I assume this is merely talc.
My suggestion, do not let anything go to chance. You must assist CrackBass in applying liberal amounts of baby powder and/ or Gold Bond Powder to the offending region.
If that doesn't work, try some tough actin' Tinactin.
Remember, Steanso, only you can make a difference.
That's all for this evenings's mailbag! Keep those letters coming.
Yes, Leaguers, it's once again time for Melbotis Mailbag! The assembled might of League HQ is here to assist you in answering all of the questions which plague you.
Natalie writes:
Here's a question for your mailbag:
Do men identify with and/or aspire to be superheroes because of their innate desire to fix every problem they come across? Do you think a superhero that just listened to the problem and didn't jump right in with a solution or a fix would be considered a failure?
-Natalie, who contrary to indications pointing otherwise is not bitter and jaded. Yet.
Natalie, my dear, it sounds as if there's a subtext suggesting you're asking something completely different from the stated question, but since I'm not exactly clear on what that question is, I will take this on at face value.
This is a little boring, but I think the answer to your first questions is: Yes. Dudes would like to be able to resolve problems easily and efficiently. This is not just ridding the world of crime, but also changing a tire, mowing the lawn and making cheeseburgers. Thus, the pneumatic wrench, the powered lawn mower and the gas grill.
Moreover, I think a lot of people wish they had greater ability (ie: superhuman ability) to resolve problems they know they cannot solve as a flesh and blood mortal. Also, men like to wear tights. We don't talk about it much, but notice the pants on football players, the outfits on winter olympians and the speed suits on swimmers.
In answer to your second question, I think you have to draw a clearer picture of "listening", and when that might be appropriate. For example, Batman probably isn't going to want to take some share and care time with a guy about to stab someone 47 times in a dark alleyway. Iron Man isn't going to hang about listening to why Kang the Conqueror should get to rule all of history.
I do think that you'll find in Superman comics that The Man of Steel generally gives everybody an opportunity to put down their weapon and give up, or at least figure out what's going on in any situation before he starts slugging people. Superman knows who he is, and so does everyboy else, so you do get an opportunity for people to pause when he shows up to, say, foil a bank robbery.
Superheroes are a largely reactive bunch, not terribly proactive. I don't think they'd necessarily be considered a failure for trying to stop and think out a situation or learn the motivation of a perpetrator. I do think if you read most comics, the characters are either placed into a position where they MUST immediately react to a clear and obvious threat. Many a comic story has been written regarding a superhero walking into a situation throwing punches first and asking questions later, only to learn that they may have taken the wrong side.
Usually superhero teams will not just go running around slugging people, there usually is some discussion of appropriate plans of action with all viewpoints considered. For good examples of this, I suggest JLA and JSA comics.
The next question was submitted by Steanso, no doubt, to see what I would be willing to print. At the risk of any potential future employer deciding this post makes me unfit for employment, here we go.
Steanso writes:
Dear Melbotis,
Can you please explain the cause and the cure for the chafing, burning sensation that Jeff Wilson experiences in his crotch region whenever he participates in any extended outdoor activity? I have suggested that the sensation may be a biproduct of the hormones which the doctor has given him in anticipation of his gender reassignment surgery, but Jeff seems skeptical about this being at the root of his problem. For the good of Crackbass and of everyone who gets stuck watching him jiggle his junk, please help.
Steanso
Dear Lord.
Well, it was just a matter of time before the bi-curious antics of Steanso and CrackBass spilled over into LoM territory. I confess that neither my information nor the database at League HQ had any immediate answers. We do know that in the old west cowboys would use something called "crotch powder" to keep themselves from chafing from the hours and hours in the saddle. I assume this is merely talc.
My suggestion, do not let anything go to chance. You must assist CrackBass in applying liberal amounts of baby powder and/ or Gold Bond Powder to the offending region.
If that doesn't work, try some tough actin' Tinactin.
Remember, Steanso, only you can make a difference.
That's all for this evenings's mailbag! Keep those letters coming.
THE BEST THING EVER PUT TO VIDEO. EVER.
Do you like Spider-Man? And evil samurai? And the movie Desperado?
Because if you do, Leaguers, have I got some awesomeness for you, courtesy of Doug.
Go here.
Beware... when you come back, you will never be the same.
Do you like Spider-Man? And evil samurai? And the movie Desperado?
Because if you do, Leaguers, have I got some awesomeness for you, courtesy of Doug.
Go here.
Beware... when you come back, you will never be the same.
Some Interesting Tidbits
Justice League Heroes will be coming out soon. If you own a console and you do not buy this game, you are some sort of weirdo.
Here is a page where you can download the trailer.
You can even play The Flash, J'onn or Zatanna. Now that, Leaguers, is a Justice League game.
If I had to guess, they're going to be fighting the White Martians.
The final episode of JLU will air on Saturday night. I'll probably post more about this on Nanostalgia.com, but this show surpassed all expectations. Unfortunately, it's a lot more expensive to make a new cartoon than just buying some Japanese stuff. (Thank you, Cartoon Network, for Bobobobobo)
The Superman Homepage is reporting that a Superman documentary entitled "Look, Up in the Sky" will air on A&E in June. I will keep you all posted.
Comic Book Resources has it's 10th Anniversary. If you like comics, you should be visiting this site.
It's the 10th Anniversary of Kingdom Come, the groundbreaking work by Mark Waid and Alex Ross. This comic helped redefine the superhero comic for the last ten years. You can find echoes of this work in both Infinite Crisis and Civil War.
Justice League Heroes will be coming out soon. If you own a console and you do not buy this game, you are some sort of weirdo.
Here is a page where you can download the trailer.
You can even play The Flash, J'onn or Zatanna. Now that, Leaguers, is a Justice League game.
If I had to guess, they're going to be fighting the White Martians.
The final episode of JLU will air on Saturday night. I'll probably post more about this on Nanostalgia.com, but this show surpassed all expectations. Unfortunately, it's a lot more expensive to make a new cartoon than just buying some Japanese stuff. (Thank you, Cartoon Network, for Bobobobobo)
The Superman Homepage is reporting that a Superman documentary entitled "Look, Up in the Sky" will air on A&E in June. I will keep you all posted.
Comic Book Resources has it's 10th Anniversary. If you like comics, you should be visiting this site.
It's the 10th Anniversary of Kingdom Come, the groundbreaking work by Mark Waid and Alex Ross. This comic helped redefine the superhero comic for the last ten years. You can find echoes of this work in both Infinite Crisis and Civil War.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Melbotis's Bubble of Blechhhh
Last night after dinner and AI, Jamie asked me to look at Mel's incision where he had his surgery. I guess earlier in the day she'd had a look and it appeared he was getting some fluid build-up behind the scar.
I pulled up his shirt and a bubble the size of my fist was right behind the scar. Mel was happy as a clam and appeared not to notice.
Our vet was long closed so we rushed to the 24 hour clinic a few miles from the house. The place was run suspiciously like a people ER. The only difference being that they weren't worried about getting sued, I guess, because the nurse in triage looked at Mel's bubble and said, "I'm going to save you two hours of wait. Go home and put some hot wash cloths on the bubble for fifteen minutes. Do this twice tonight. Go see your vet first thing in the morning."
I have no idea what this was supposed to do, but we went home and put hot wash cloths on Mel's bubble. I made arrangements to miss work in the morning, made appropriate e-mails and checked on Mel who was, still, happy as a clam.
This morning he woke up and the bubble was slightly larger. I went for my run and at 8:05 I called the vet to get an appointment. We were to go in at 10:00.
I took my shower and got cleaned up, checking on Mel through the window to see how he was doing. He was pretty much standing in the yard happily wagging his tail.
Jamie came home from dialysis, scarfed down an Eggo and we were ready to roll. Mel came inside, and I immediately noticed his bubble was gone. He had a small rupture in his scar that was no longer bleeding, where, I assume, he scratched open the bubble or it just popped. Either way, he'd drained the darn thing.
We still drove him to the vet where they added some staples to his scar and told us that, apparently, what he'd had was "serum". I'm still not sure I'm buying their answer, but it's just bodily liquid that can form at a surgery site.
Bottom line, Mel is fine and I missed 3 hours of work. And somewhere in our yard is a puddle of Mel's blecchhh...
Last night after dinner and AI, Jamie asked me to look at Mel's incision where he had his surgery. I guess earlier in the day she'd had a look and it appeared he was getting some fluid build-up behind the scar.
I pulled up his shirt and a bubble the size of my fist was right behind the scar. Mel was happy as a clam and appeared not to notice.
Our vet was long closed so we rushed to the 24 hour clinic a few miles from the house. The place was run suspiciously like a people ER. The only difference being that they weren't worried about getting sued, I guess, because the nurse in triage looked at Mel's bubble and said, "I'm going to save you two hours of wait. Go home and put some hot wash cloths on the bubble for fifteen minutes. Do this twice tonight. Go see your vet first thing in the morning."
I have no idea what this was supposed to do, but we went home and put hot wash cloths on Mel's bubble. I made arrangements to miss work in the morning, made appropriate e-mails and checked on Mel who was, still, happy as a clam.
This morning he woke up and the bubble was slightly larger. I went for my run and at 8:05 I called the vet to get an appointment. We were to go in at 10:00.
I took my shower and got cleaned up, checking on Mel through the window to see how he was doing. He was pretty much standing in the yard happily wagging his tail.
Jamie came home from dialysis, scarfed down an Eggo and we were ready to roll. Mel came inside, and I immediately noticed his bubble was gone. He had a small rupture in his scar that was no longer bleeding, where, I assume, he scratched open the bubble or it just popped. Either way, he'd drained the darn thing.
We still drove him to the vet where they added some staples to his scar and told us that, apparently, what he'd had was "serum". I'm still not sure I'm buying their answer, but it's just bodily liquid that can form at a surgery site.
Bottom line, Mel is fine and I missed 3 hours of work. And somewhere in our yard is a puddle of Mel's blecchhh...
Infinite Posting
If you're wondering why things have been a little quiet lately, I've been working on some sort of rambling review of DC Comics' last few years worth of effort.
It's really, really long. I am sorry.
Still, I would feel remiss if I did not point to my post as both an explanation and excuse for why so little has been showing up at The League.
Go here to read about Infinite Crisis, etc...
If you're wondering why things have been a little quiet lately, I've been working on some sort of rambling review of DC Comics' last few years worth of effort.
It's really, really long. I am sorry.
Still, I would feel remiss if I did not point to my post as both an explanation and excuse for why so little has been showing up at The League.
Go here to read about Infinite Crisis, etc...
Monday, May 08, 2006
52 Website
DC launches a new comic series, 52, this Wednesday. This series will be 52 issues in duration, released once a week, and covering 52 weeks in the life of the DCU.
A crazy idea, so we'll see if DC can pull it off.
To learn more, go to DC's new 52 website.
If you get a chance, look it up and explore. There's actually some pretty funny stuff in there if you've been following DC comics lately. Check out the "Dollers & Sense" story and "Ask Dr. Expert" for some really geeky stuff.
DC launches a new comic series, 52, this Wednesday. This series will be 52 issues in duration, released once a week, and covering 52 weeks in the life of the DCU.
A crazy idea, so we'll see if DC can pull it off.
To learn more, go to DC's new 52 website.
If you get a chance, look it up and explore. There's actually some pretty funny stuff in there if you've been following DC comics lately. Check out the "Dollers & Sense" story and "Ask Dr. Expert" for some really geeky stuff.
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