ewwwwwwwww

By the way, the factors which will almost draw me out to the theater are as follows. The likelihood of the named factor influencing my attendance is listed in descending order:

1) Robots
2) Superheroes
3) Gorillas
4) Giant Monsters
5) Spaceships
6) Nudity

And just as an addition, the three laws of robotics are not the nice little taglines given in the trailer.

Asimov wrote:

The three laws of Robotics:
1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm
2) A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

I just saw part of a trailer for "I, Robot", the new Will Smith movie for this summer.

As a middle-schooler, I read a few Asimov books, and I re-read "I, Robot" at least once. It's actually a collection of short stories, more or less, following the evolution of robots in human society. It's incredibly dry science fiction with virtually nothing in the way of action. It's almost all people and robots standing around talking.

So I was kind of wondering what the new movie was about when they cast Will Smith, because if the book has a main character, it's really a woman who is an expert in Robo-Psychology (which is a complicated thing, and I would read the book if I were you...) But I saw a few seconds from the trailer and it is not exactly what I remember.

While the movie does look exciting, and I seem to vaguely remember a scene somewhat like the robot interrogation sequence, it's not I, Robot. I think. it's been a decade or so since I read the book. At best, it looks as if they took a very short story and expanded it into the world's biggest class action law suit. I know they were trying to avoid remaking Bicentennial Man, and that should be applauded. If nothing else, the new movie inspires me to re-read I, Robot AND to see the movie for comparison (because robots will always get me into the theaters. I saw Lost in Space twice, even though I hated it the first time).

You can view the trailer for I, Robot here.

You can buy the book here.

I wonder if the producers read Caves of Steel, because that would actually make a cool movie.

There was actually a great story (and maybe it was in I, Robot) about a robot telling his robopsychologist about a dream he had in which he was wearing sungod robes and telling somebody "let my people go!"

It's probably hip not to like Dilbert because he reached such levels of popularity a few years ago, but I like Dilbert, even if I am not an avid follower.

I also like Dedman, and I DO read Dedman everyday.

But I am not the one who sent Jim the very expensive Dilbert print from New York. I considered saying it was me so Jim would feel I am spontaneous and generous, but, Leaguers, that's not very truthful.

Jim and I put on our detective caps and tried to figure out who sent him the gift. I rattled off a list of names who i thought it might be, and Jim was surprised I knew any of his friends. Apparently he was unaware that I follow his exploits everyday.

It is very mysterious. Does Jim have a secret admirer?

Meanwhile, at the Phoenix airport....

Who knew so much excitement happened mere miles from the office...

Superman and Batman try to enjoy the birthday get-together at League HQ.

Today is Jamie's 29th birthday. Today Jamie has flung around Sol 29 times and is gathering momentum to try the ride once more.

We both slept in a little bit today, we opened presents and that was it. Doesn't seem like very fair compensation for doing the whole damn thing 29 times.

Her buddy Heather is going to arrive from Austin via aeroplane tomorrow. Should be fun. We saw Heather at Christmas, but folks very infrequently visit Mr. House due to its inconvenient location. (actually, a mad shout out to Jill H-W for her recent foray into the desert).

So I hope Jamie has a good birthday. It's hard to give good birthdays, but you have to try. I would hate for Jamie to think back next year while passing "Go!" and think, "What DID I do last year...?" But I am certain that will be the case.

I have added yet another person to the blogroll. Welcome http://northstream.blogspot.com/ to the blogroll. I am losing track, but I believe the author is another pal of Jim's. This one, in particular, I think may be nothing more than a figment of Jim's imagination as I first encountered him as a character in Jim's screenplay.

These things happen. My cat sprang from a bad dream I had after eating a box of Girl Scout cookies before bedtime. (They were Samoas, and it was worth it).

James Bond fans, rejoice.

Sorry for the lack of posting today. I was involved with a presentation all day.

Now I am tired. I kind of want to lay down. It's been a while since I had to be around an all day presentation like this, and as exhausting as they are to sit thru, they are even less fun to set up and try to keep everyone happy.

I also absolutely cannot take credit for this link. I'm swiping it off Molly's page.

Just in time for Passover, it's Bag o' Plagues! (you know... for kids!)

Molly joins us from her current locale of Osaka, Japan to join in on the fun with latex faces. I don't know if this is better or worse.

You know, I'm a hip, open minded guy. I may not play ball the way you do, but I'm not going to criticize your game. Still, this gives me the willies. It seriously does seem like something out of a Vincent Price movie.

But, speaking of creepy, dead-looking, latex faces.... Randy sends this bit of disturbing infotainment.

dude looks like a lady. Like a dead, plasticized lady.

I'm not sure I want to know how Randy learned of this particular little corner of the blackest pits of the human psyche... but he seemed to know about it somehow. Of course, I always have a hard time explaining that I know what furries are without somehow implicating myself (I like to dress up as Ollie the Octopus).

But take a look here and feel a chill in the darkest reaches of your soul. You cannot tell me these guys aren't out realizing a Vincent Price movie in their spare time.

The new Wayans brother movie is a whole separate issue, and may spawn it's own Jim and Randy review here on this site.

Finally located where and when I linked to Beer Bong image.

I hope my July 28th, 2003 posting held no special place in anybody's heart. It's going to be altered and/ or erased.

Here is the URL for the image which apparently links to THe League, which is mucking me up.

http://www.beerisgoodforyou.com/store/images/bong.jpg

Now it's been at least five years since I even thought about writing a line of html. My last web page involved spinning lava lamps and other fun stuff. So, yeah. Anyway, if anybody has any idea what to do, let me know.

My big fear is that the image is buried deep in the bowels of the archives of this site, and after a year of blatherings, it's going to be a bear to find the image and try to eradicate it.

Your help will be rewarded with a Melly Award.

Hey, is anyone reading The League?

Sitemeter is now utterly useless due to this tool who is somehow swiping my badwidth. Somehow he's linked this image to The League or something. I'm not really clear on how that works, honestly. I'm kind of hands-off in the world of the internet. I make content, I don't administer it.

I contacted blogger.com who hosts The LEague. I said "Hey, this dillweed is somehow using my site to post pictures or something." And they said "Tough nuts. We don't resolve problems like this." Which makes me feel the money I put down for this site was probably not worth it.

Further, nobody responds to my requests anymore (maybe three or four of you) which leads me to believe readership is WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY down. So, this is my SOS.

I repeat: ss anyone reading The League? If you are, just shoot me an e-mail from the link over there to let me know.

<---------------------------- look for E-mail Melbotis

I'd like to know who the audience is and if everyone has abandoned ship. I'm also curious to hear what you'd like to see detailed within these pages. I'm running dry, man.

I want for nothing more than to read Jim D's review of Garfield, the Movie.

There's something about the movie, the trailers, the casting... the very... I don't know. I can't put it into words, but my brain is locked in morbid fascination with Garfield the Movie. It's the same fascination which drove me to the same theater twice in the same day to see two awful movies: Dungeons & Dragons and Dracula 2000. It's how I saw "Cats & Dogs", "Pokemon: The Movie", "Man's Best Friend", "Power Rangers: The Movie", "Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course", "Street Fighter: The Movie", "Mortal Kombat: The Movie", "Cutthroat Island", "Underworld", virtually every Arnie movie, and "American Cyborg: Steel Warrior" all in the theater.

There's something about horrid, horrid movies which fires the imagination. There's something about the half-assed lack of artistry which drives me to the theater to see exactly how little the creators have done. We all have a little Ignatius J. Reilly in us, I suppose.

Randy has volunteered, and so Randy will be heard within these pages. But there's something about Jim that leads me to believe, Jim simply does not dwell in a plane of existence where Garfield, the Movie is seen by the likes of his eyes.

I am offering Jim the cost of a ticket, a soda and a tub of popcorn. I will even offer up the cost of gas for his vehicle.

I just want 500 words on Garfield the Movie. Is that too much to ask for? Is it?

I fear it is.

A foretaste of the feast to come.

As mentioned here several weeks ago, DC Editor Julie Schwartz passed away at the age of 88.

Harlan Ellison has written a great tribute to his friend, and I thought it fitting to at least link to it here.

Item # 1: Batman Begins is currently filming. It will star Christian Bale as Batman. There are also many, many other name actors among the cast (Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Sir Michael Caine). I've heard some basics about the script, and it sounds like it's much closer to the comics than any previous incarnations. (I like the Burton version, too, but it's similarity to anything in the comics is debatable).

Anyway, view the promo image here. It's basically the new Batsymbol, I guess. I've heard some folks say it's new, but it looks pretty much like a few different versions I've seen.

Item #2: Robert Rodriguez has shown an unprecedented dedication to his new project, Sin City. Yes, yes... I probably wouldn't be mentioning it if it weren't based upon a comic book. It's based upon Frank Miller's creator owned series Sin City, a ruthlessly aggressive noir/ crime series set in a fictional town where the lives of various crooks, thieves, assassins and crack-pots intertwine.

Rodriguez is filming in his home-base of Austin, and it sounds like he's pulling in an all-star cast here as well. Goody for him.

The big news is that he's including Frank Miller, creator of Sin City, as a Co-Director (and possibly Tarantino). Let me re-emphasize that. Frank Miller. Co-Director.

For anyone who ever read a comic, Miller is a seminal figurehead in the industry. I'd say he was the Beatles, but I think Alan Moore gets that title. He's more of the... Hendrix? I dunno. Give me a good analogy and you could win a Melly Award.

Now, in order to do this, Rodriguez has had to quit the DGA. Which is HUGE, and has very real ramifications for the rest of the union aspects of the production. Union issues are a whole separate political topic I won't bog you down with here, but suffice it to say, the unions stick together, and this whole movie could wind up being a non-Union indie. Fortunately (and most likely, by design), Rodriguez is filming in a town regularly abused for it's cheap, non-Union labor. In addition, most of the film dorks in Austin would give their left arm to work on a Rodriguez movie with the sort of talent he's bringing in (let alone, work on a movie at all), so it's not an issue of making it happen.

Read about Rodriguez's decision here.

But why go to all the trouble because of some comic guy? Why is Miller this important?

If you read comics in the 80's, 90's or now, Miller's work has been the fulcrum that moved comics from the world of kiddy entertainment to being an aggressively adult medium. Miller wrote and drew some of the most groundbreaking works in comics, and when his work is brought to the big screen, invariably, it gets turned to mush. Case in point: Last year's Daredevil took a perfectly good story and made it really, really stupid.

However, one can credit Miller with stories like Item #1 above for even occuring. Batman was still considered to be the Adam West version in the public's mind (despite the 70's work by Neal Adams), until Miller gave Batman the story he needed in the comics again with Year One and DKR. In fact, originally, the movie you see mentioned above was supposed to be an adaptation of Year One (and may yet contain elements of) written by JSA and Hawkman scribe David Goyer.

It may be you LIKE Frank Miller already... you just don't know it's Frank you like.

So it sounds like Rodriguez wants to bring in Miller's perspective for fear he might accidentally muck up the material. I, for one, am amazed and excited. The Sin City comics always had the potential to be a storyboard for the best modern crime movie never made. For folks who STILL, for whatever reason, think comics are all kiddy fare... I encourage you to check out the many, many collections of Sin City available at your local comic shop as well as at Borders and Barnes & Noble, depending on their selection.

Other Frank Miller works of note include:

Ronin - published by DC Comics
Batman: Year One - DC Comics
The Dark Knight Returns (perhaps the most important super hero comics ever) - published by DC Comics
The Dark Knight Strikes Again - DC Comics
Daredevil: Man Without Fear - Marvel
Daredevil Visionaries Vol. 1 -3 - Marvel
Daredevil: Born Again - Marvel
Sin City (there are several volumes, but each story is collected in a single volume) - Dark Horse
Elektra: Assassin - Marvel
Frank Miller's Robocop - Avatar (Frank wrote the orginal screenplay to Robocop 2, which was turned into mush by the rewrites. Steven Grant and the team at Avatar Press are turning the original script into a comic. It is decidedly more violent and paints a significantly different picture than the film of Robocop 2)
300 - Dark Horse

There are also a lot of other works I won't spotlight here. Suffice it to say, Frank's influence and reach has been vast.

If anyone knows anyone working on this movie in Austin, I will give my left nut if you can get my beat-up copy of Dark Knight Returns from 1988 signed. Seriously. Left nut.


Complete works
Fan Page
An Onion AV Club article with Miller is here.