Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Melbotis Update
Hey all - Mrs. League here. Melbotis has had a hard week, so I thought I'd share.
Last December when Mel had his yearly check-up, we asked the vet to feel a lump in his side. The doc said not to worry, it was probably a clump of fat cells, but to keep an eye on it. Early this week as I was giving Melly his nightly brushing, I noticed the lump was substantially larger. To be on the safe side, I took him to the vet again yesterday and much to my relief the biopsy showed only fat cells. However, the doc recommended that he have surgery to remove the lump so today Melly went under the knife.
The vet's office just called and said (while laughing because Mel was licking her) he was doing great! We will bring him home tonight and now he will just have to be tortured with the 10 days of ear medicine he got for his ear infections. It's dog ear medicine all around at League HQ - Lucy has an infection, too. Maybe I should give Jeff the Cat some medicine, too, just to be on the safe side...
On the whole, Mel is doing much better than he was before Lucy entered the picture. He has more energy and takes walkies with Lucy almost every night. At one time he weighed in at 122, but as of yesterday was 104! I'm very proud of him (League, you need to update the side panel with his new weight).
We love you, Melly!
Hey all - Mrs. League here. Melbotis has had a hard week, so I thought I'd share.
Last December when Mel had his yearly check-up, we asked the vet to feel a lump in his side. The doc said not to worry, it was probably a clump of fat cells, but to keep an eye on it. Early this week as I was giving Melly his nightly brushing, I noticed the lump was substantially larger. To be on the safe side, I took him to the vet again yesterday and much to my relief the biopsy showed only fat cells. However, the doc recommended that he have surgery to remove the lump so today Melly went under the knife.
The vet's office just called and said (while laughing because Mel was licking her) he was doing great! We will bring him home tonight and now he will just have to be tortured with the 10 days of ear medicine he got for his ear infections. It's dog ear medicine all around at League HQ - Lucy has an infection, too. Maybe I should give Jeff the Cat some medicine, too, just to be on the safe side...
On the whole, Mel is doing much better than he was before Lucy entered the picture. He has more energy and takes walkies with Lucy almost every night. At one time he weighed in at 122, but as of yesterday was 104! I'm very proud of him (League, you need to update the side panel with his new weight).
We love you, Melly!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Melbotis Mailbag: The League's Comic Book Continuity Manifesto
D. Loyd included this question in his Mellie Noms:
Why does the League obsess about Continuity in the DC world?
Good question, D.
For those of you who do not read comic books, comics work a LOT like soap operas. The Spider-Man comics that are released today under the name "The Amazing Spider-Man" follow the adventures of the same Peter Parker kids fell in love with in 1963. From a certain perspective, it's all been one long, continuous story for more than forty years. For good or ill, it's also been a story told by a long list of writers, editors and artists.
There are also multiple Spider-Man comics, and some have come and gone over the years, but Spidey usually has two comics going on at any time. This is usually where new readers notice continuity problems as it's tough to figure out when the events in Amazing Spider-Man are taking place versus the events in Spectacular Spider-Man.
Just to get complicated, Spidey lives in a world populated by a wide array of heroes, which means he may also appear in other comics. He might guest star in Captain America, which means that, from a reader's perspective, in six months Spidey needs to remember who Cap is and what events took place over in Cap's title.
It's supposed to be the job of the editor to make sure that there are no oversights in continuity. One of the great joys of comics is the history that surrounds the major comics and characters. The characters don't forget what's come before. They do refer to prior events, and they discuss them from time to time (or give you the necessary exposition in a thought-bubble). As a kid I first learned the names of the editors at Marvel as the editors would add an asterisk and a small box to a panel that contained dicussion of prior events. Spidey might say "Last time I fought Doc Ock I threw a brick at him.*" And then the editor would have a little pane that said "* in issue #187 -Exposition Lovin' Ralph".
As a reader, you wanted to know what was going on that made Spidey throw a brick at Doc Ock. So off you'd go to find a back issue at your local comic shop. The real point, of course, was to let you know when and how events occured. I learned about the entire storylines for Dark Phoenix and Days of Future Past in this manner before ever reading the stories.
Marvel also wisely had instituted a policy that said "assume every comic is the first comic that somebody ever picked up". I think the policy has been abandoned under Quesada for a while, but may be on the comeback. What the policy meant for editors was that any issue of a new comic might contain lots of those little asterisks. It also meant characters called each other by name a little too often, and they spent more time than a DragonBall Z character explaining their powers. They might also spend a lot of time thinking about the meaning of a fight during the middle of a fight.
As a kid, to me, that meant I was discovering a whole new world which had a rich history, where actions had consequence and meaning, and that these imaginary worlds were a heck of a lot more interesting than Pencewood Drive.
My point here is that the editors may have made the wrong decision when it comes to new readership. I'd heard that a lot of the old Marvel practices had been scrapped because continuity was too burdensome to new readers. To a potential casual reader, sure. But to the little geeks just discovering comics, scrapping continuity and references to the past means there's nothing behind the latest issue. No continuity means that there's no world to discover and appreciate, and that each issue is as disposable as the last episode of Power Rangers. Continuity and editorial control of continuity put a challenge to new readers, one that is not impossible, and one that's enjoyable to overcome as they dig out the lore and missing pieces that make up the comic they hold in their hand.
As an adult reader who knows his way around the Marvel and DCU fairly well, the need to continue to learn more and more about comics hasn't really gone away. I'm constantly learning new things about the comic publishing industry, about the folks behind the comics, the kinds of stories that were told, etc... and I still unearth new tidbits about the characters that make up the roster of the DCU. That's the fuel that sets the fire of the historian side of my comic geekiness.
To more directly answer D. Loyd's question of why I care about Continuity at age 31: What is the point of reading a story if any impact will be immediately erased by the whims of the next creative team?
I'm going to use character death repeatedly as an example, partly because the death of a character is a definite terminal point in any narrative, partly because it's terribly abused in comics, and partly because it's a lot less picky than some geeky things I could point out.
If I read a well-written story in which, say, The Flash kills the Trickster, and part of that story is that everyone knows The Flash killed The Trickster, (a) it's not going to make sense when the Trickster pops up again four months from now because "Brave and the Bold wants" to use The Trickster and, last I checked, he was dead. (b) If other characters are aware that The Flash is capable of murder, wouldn't they treat him with the proper caution? If never refer to those events again, doesn't that leave sort of a gap? (c) What did Flash learn from his experience? If Trickster never died, than we assume Flash never learned that lesson. (d) if Flash mentions the death in his own comics, and, so, say, as promise to never kill again, the Flash starts wearing yellow trunks... it won't make sense if he's wearing trunks when he comes up the Trickster again in two years becasue he was aline in "The Brave and the Bold".
Yes, these things happen.
Now multiply that by dozens of comics coming out every month, twelve months a year. It's a daunting task for an editor to keep up with, but the fans of the comics can do it, and they're spending money, not earning it.
Comics have enough problems with logic and time compression. In spite of those short fallings, what they can provide is a continuous story in which the characters grow and learn lessons, just as characters on a television program can grow and learn lessons. While some mistakes and changes are inevitable (and some, may, in fact, improve the overall logic of the comic) blatant disregard for the events of a story which many or most readers know shows a lack of respect for long time readers who have been the ones to support a title.
Similar to a television program which has multiple seasons, fans would not tolerate, say, a dead character reappearing without explanation when a new season debuts. I do not want to see movie sequels in which dead characters suddenly return to life because the writers decided they liked a death scene in the original, but they really wanted that guy, after all. (How would Godfather II have been if Sonny had just pulled up to the lake house with no explanation?). I don't want to read a book where characters are impossible to track and suddenly walk into a room when we believe they're on a boat somewhere in the Pacific. I want comics to show the same, basic respect for my intelligence.
It is true that many creative teams do find themselves painted into a corner by the work of previous creative teams. I don't find this to necessarily mean that the previous work should simply be ignored. Writers like Geoff Johns have shown heroic efforts in streamlining continuities, finding ways for apparent continuity flaws to co-exist, and basically writing to the situation rather than pretending like it never happened.
It is, in my opinion, the editor and writer's job to ensure continuity remains intact in mainline comic books. Action Comics should not contradict itself as team after team is inevitably replaced. If the writers and editors wish to tell a story which contradicts continuity, the story should be strong enough to carry itself as a one-shot or limited series. Otherwise, it is the writer's duty to find the logic in altering the continuity one way or another in their story-telling.
The popular stance four years ago was that continuity was for saps and that it damaged the industry. What the writers were publically stating was that they were being given writing jobs based upon success elsewhere, and they didn't have the appropriate knowledge to complete the job they'd been recruited to do. And, of course, they couldn't be bothered to spend a few hours reading comics to see what was going on with a title before they took it over.
What DC has managed to prove since Identity Crisis is that continuity does matter. Readers will tend to pick up additional comics if they are somehow tied together. Readers will tend to stick with a title if they don't feel abandoned by the editors. And you can explain and fix all of your continuity problems with a Crisis when things get out of hand.
D. Loyd included this question in his Mellie Noms:
Why does the League obsess about Continuity in the DC world?
Good question, D.
For those of you who do not read comic books, comics work a LOT like soap operas. The Spider-Man comics that are released today under the name "The Amazing Spider-Man" follow the adventures of the same Peter Parker kids fell in love with in 1963. From a certain perspective, it's all been one long, continuous story for more than forty years. For good or ill, it's also been a story told by a long list of writers, editors and artists.
There are also multiple Spider-Man comics, and some have come and gone over the years, but Spidey usually has two comics going on at any time. This is usually where new readers notice continuity problems as it's tough to figure out when the events in Amazing Spider-Man are taking place versus the events in Spectacular Spider-Man.
Just to get complicated, Spidey lives in a world populated by a wide array of heroes, which means he may also appear in other comics. He might guest star in Captain America, which means that, from a reader's perspective, in six months Spidey needs to remember who Cap is and what events took place over in Cap's title.
It's supposed to be the job of the editor to make sure that there are no oversights in continuity. One of the great joys of comics is the history that surrounds the major comics and characters. The characters don't forget what's come before. They do refer to prior events, and they discuss them from time to time (or give you the necessary exposition in a thought-bubble). As a kid I first learned the names of the editors at Marvel as the editors would add an asterisk and a small box to a panel that contained dicussion of prior events. Spidey might say "Last time I fought Doc Ock I threw a brick at him.*" And then the editor would have a little pane that said "* in issue #187 -Exposition Lovin' Ralph".
As a reader, you wanted to know what was going on that made Spidey throw a brick at Doc Ock. So off you'd go to find a back issue at your local comic shop. The real point, of course, was to let you know when and how events occured. I learned about the entire storylines for Dark Phoenix and Days of Future Past in this manner before ever reading the stories.
Marvel also wisely had instituted a policy that said "assume every comic is the first comic that somebody ever picked up". I think the policy has been abandoned under Quesada for a while, but may be on the comeback. What the policy meant for editors was that any issue of a new comic might contain lots of those little asterisks. It also meant characters called each other by name a little too often, and they spent more time than a DragonBall Z character explaining their powers. They might also spend a lot of time thinking about the meaning of a fight during the middle of a fight.
As a kid, to me, that meant I was discovering a whole new world which had a rich history, where actions had consequence and meaning, and that these imaginary worlds were a heck of a lot more interesting than Pencewood Drive.
My point here is that the editors may have made the wrong decision when it comes to new readership. I'd heard that a lot of the old Marvel practices had been scrapped because continuity was too burdensome to new readers. To a potential casual reader, sure. But to the little geeks just discovering comics, scrapping continuity and references to the past means there's nothing behind the latest issue. No continuity means that there's no world to discover and appreciate, and that each issue is as disposable as the last episode of Power Rangers. Continuity and editorial control of continuity put a challenge to new readers, one that is not impossible, and one that's enjoyable to overcome as they dig out the lore and missing pieces that make up the comic they hold in their hand.
As an adult reader who knows his way around the Marvel and DCU fairly well, the need to continue to learn more and more about comics hasn't really gone away. I'm constantly learning new things about the comic publishing industry, about the folks behind the comics, the kinds of stories that were told, etc... and I still unearth new tidbits about the characters that make up the roster of the DCU. That's the fuel that sets the fire of the historian side of my comic geekiness.
To more directly answer D. Loyd's question of why I care about Continuity at age 31: What is the point of reading a story if any impact will be immediately erased by the whims of the next creative team?
I'm going to use character death repeatedly as an example, partly because the death of a character is a definite terminal point in any narrative, partly because it's terribly abused in comics, and partly because it's a lot less picky than some geeky things I could point out.
If I read a well-written story in which, say, The Flash kills the Trickster, and part of that story is that everyone knows The Flash killed The Trickster, (a) it's not going to make sense when the Trickster pops up again four months from now because "Brave and the Bold wants" to use The Trickster and, last I checked, he was dead. (b) If other characters are aware that The Flash is capable of murder, wouldn't they treat him with the proper caution? If never refer to those events again, doesn't that leave sort of a gap? (c) What did Flash learn from his experience? If Trickster never died, than we assume Flash never learned that lesson. (d) if Flash mentions the death in his own comics, and, so, say, as promise to never kill again, the Flash starts wearing yellow trunks... it won't make sense if he's wearing trunks when he comes up the Trickster again in two years becasue he was aline in "The Brave and the Bold".
Yes, these things happen.
Now multiply that by dozens of comics coming out every month, twelve months a year. It's a daunting task for an editor to keep up with, but the fans of the comics can do it, and they're spending money, not earning it.
Comics have enough problems with logic and time compression. In spite of those short fallings, what they can provide is a continuous story in which the characters grow and learn lessons, just as characters on a television program can grow and learn lessons. While some mistakes and changes are inevitable (and some, may, in fact, improve the overall logic of the comic) blatant disregard for the events of a story which many or most readers know shows a lack of respect for long time readers who have been the ones to support a title.
Similar to a television program which has multiple seasons, fans would not tolerate, say, a dead character reappearing without explanation when a new season debuts. I do not want to see movie sequels in which dead characters suddenly return to life because the writers decided they liked a death scene in the original, but they really wanted that guy, after all. (How would Godfather II have been if Sonny had just pulled up to the lake house with no explanation?). I don't want to read a book where characters are impossible to track and suddenly walk into a room when we believe they're on a boat somewhere in the Pacific. I want comics to show the same, basic respect for my intelligence.
It is true that many creative teams do find themselves painted into a corner by the work of previous creative teams. I don't find this to necessarily mean that the previous work should simply be ignored. Writers like Geoff Johns have shown heroic efforts in streamlining continuities, finding ways for apparent continuity flaws to co-exist, and basically writing to the situation rather than pretending like it never happened.
It is, in my opinion, the editor and writer's job to ensure continuity remains intact in mainline comic books. Action Comics should not contradict itself as team after team is inevitably replaced. If the writers and editors wish to tell a story which contradicts continuity, the story should be strong enough to carry itself as a one-shot or limited series. Otherwise, it is the writer's duty to find the logic in altering the continuity one way or another in their story-telling.
The popular stance four years ago was that continuity was for saps and that it damaged the industry. What the writers were publically stating was that they were being given writing jobs based upon success elsewhere, and they didn't have the appropriate knowledge to complete the job they'd been recruited to do. And, of course, they couldn't be bothered to spend a few hours reading comics to see what was going on with a title before they took it over.
What DC has managed to prove since Identity Crisis is that continuity does matter. Readers will tend to pick up additional comics if they are somehow tied together. Readers will tend to stick with a title if they don't feel abandoned by the editors. And you can explain and fix all of your continuity problems with a Crisis when things get out of hand.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Some amusing links at Nanostalgia.com
Here is my review of Ultimate Avengers: The Movie
Here are some thoughts on the all-new trailer for Flight 93.
Here is my review of Ultimate Avengers: The Movie
Here are some thoughts on the all-new trailer for Flight 93.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Radio Silence
The League apologizes for the lack of posting.
Thursday morning I met with my doctor and I said "Well, I need to lose some weight. I was hoping to come up with some sort of dietary plan and maybe an exercise plan."
Dr. Chang does not suffer fools, and made it pretty clear that my getting in shape was not his responsibility, it was my own. Apparently he's quite sick of people asking how he can help people get in shape, but at the end of the day, he can't really help people eat less and exercise. "Everything else in this world," he told me "you can pay somebody else to do it for you. I can pay someone to clean my house or wash my car. I can't pay someone to work out for me. I can't pay someone to eat less."
Anyway, we had a long discussion about how my lazy caveman brain didn't want for me to work out because it wanted to store energy for fight-or-flight moments, but since I'm not routinely being attacked by wild beasts, I needed to show some will-power.
Schedule? Schedules are for losers. Every day. I must go out and exercise every day. None of this every-other-day crap. Not after work, either. After work there are excuses and things to do and distractions. So with the sad knowledge that I must now go to bed earlier, I am getting up in the dark (which in AZ in Spring is pretty early), patting Mel on the head, and putting on my sneakers.
What should I do for an exercise? I asked. Run. It's cheap and you don't need equipment or a place to go to do it. No gym membership. No trainer. Just move your fat ass faster than normal and try not to have a heart-attack.
"This is the United States," Dr. Chang advised me, "If you drop dead, they'll resucitate you."
So I'm running.
Not well, mind you. The first day I kept waiting for Thursday night's dinner to come back at me. My knees were killing me and I felt generally beat up all day on Saturday.
So I'm trying running. I've no technique and I'm mixing stretches of running with stretches of walking until I'm positive I won't vomit. And I'm only on day 4, so give me a @#$%ing break.
Memories of 8th grade keep coming back to me, when I took athleticism as a point of pride. I wasn't any track star, but I had one of the top 1/3rd times in the mile on the football team (and I was a lineman). I could run two miles and get sweaty, but not tired. Muscles and joints didn't hurt. And you never cared if people were watching you run because you might look funny.
Youth is wasted on the wrong people.
Sunday Jamie and I met up for lunch with Tami Nelson. Tami and I have orbited one another since high school, then in college, then out of college, and somehow we continue to bump into one another and occasionally keep in touch.
Tami is my token Katrina victim. She left Austin 5 or more years ago for the promise of adventure in New Orleans. Long enough, anyway, for it to become home. She evacuated herself and her world-famous cat, Tom Proctor, prior to the storm, going back to Spring for what she believed was a long weekend. She's now in Austin, and there's a story there, but it's Tami's and I don't really feel like I'm the one to share the story second-hand.
While in New Orleans Tami had become involved in improvisational comedy. The remarkable part of her story is that her troupe, scattered to the four winds in the evacuation, found one another and regrouped in Austin. They renamed themself and are now performing a mixed bag of local Austin shows and travelling to improv festivals, apparently stronger now than prior to the hurricane.
Anyhoo, it's always great to see someone out here in the Valley of the Sun. Bits and pieces of your former life do occasionally wash up on shore, and it's always interesting to see "how much did we change? Or did we change at all?"
Tami has an interesting opportunity, and if it materializes the way it sounds like it might, I'll let you cats know. Folks in Texas might be particularly interested.
Also, if you are in Austin, look for performances by ColdTowne.
The League apologizes for the lack of posting.
Thursday morning I met with my doctor and I said "Well, I need to lose some weight. I was hoping to come up with some sort of dietary plan and maybe an exercise plan."
Dr. Chang does not suffer fools, and made it pretty clear that my getting in shape was not his responsibility, it was my own. Apparently he's quite sick of people asking how he can help people get in shape, but at the end of the day, he can't really help people eat less and exercise. "Everything else in this world," he told me "you can pay somebody else to do it for you. I can pay someone to clean my house or wash my car. I can't pay someone to work out for me. I can't pay someone to eat less."
Anyway, we had a long discussion about how my lazy caveman brain didn't want for me to work out because it wanted to store energy for fight-or-flight moments, but since I'm not routinely being attacked by wild beasts, I needed to show some will-power.
Schedule? Schedules are for losers. Every day. I must go out and exercise every day. None of this every-other-day crap. Not after work, either. After work there are excuses and things to do and distractions. So with the sad knowledge that I must now go to bed earlier, I am getting up in the dark (which in AZ in Spring is pretty early), patting Mel on the head, and putting on my sneakers.
What should I do for an exercise? I asked. Run. It's cheap and you don't need equipment or a place to go to do it. No gym membership. No trainer. Just move your fat ass faster than normal and try not to have a heart-attack.
"This is the United States," Dr. Chang advised me, "If you drop dead, they'll resucitate you."
So I'm running.
Not well, mind you. The first day I kept waiting for Thursday night's dinner to come back at me. My knees were killing me and I felt generally beat up all day on Saturday.
So I'm trying running. I've no technique and I'm mixing stretches of running with stretches of walking until I'm positive I won't vomit. And I'm only on day 4, so give me a @#$%ing break.
Memories of 8th grade keep coming back to me, when I took athleticism as a point of pride. I wasn't any track star, but I had one of the top 1/3rd times in the mile on the football team (and I was a lineman). I could run two miles and get sweaty, but not tired. Muscles and joints didn't hurt. And you never cared if people were watching you run because you might look funny.
Youth is wasted on the wrong people.
Sunday Jamie and I met up for lunch with Tami Nelson. Tami and I have orbited one another since high school, then in college, then out of college, and somehow we continue to bump into one another and occasionally keep in touch.
Tami is my token Katrina victim. She left Austin 5 or more years ago for the promise of adventure in New Orleans. Long enough, anyway, for it to become home. She evacuated herself and her world-famous cat, Tom Proctor, prior to the storm, going back to Spring for what she believed was a long weekend. She's now in Austin, and there's a story there, but it's Tami's and I don't really feel like I'm the one to share the story second-hand.
While in New Orleans Tami had become involved in improvisational comedy. The remarkable part of her story is that her troupe, scattered to the four winds in the evacuation, found one another and regrouped in Austin. They renamed themself and are now performing a mixed bag of local Austin shows and travelling to improv festivals, apparently stronger now than prior to the hurricane.
Anyhoo, it's always great to see someone out here in the Valley of the Sun. Bits and pieces of your former life do occasionally wash up on shore, and it's always interesting to see "how much did we change? Or did we change at all?"
Tami has an interesting opportunity, and if it materializes the way it sounds like it might, I'll let you cats know. Folks in Texas might be particularly interested.
Also, if you are in Austin, look for performances by ColdTowne.
Friday, April 21, 2006
SECRET WARS RE-ENACTMENT SOCIETY
Were you a Marvel Comics fan in the 80's? Sweet. So was I. Sadly I came in at the tail-end of the original Secret Wars limited series and/or sort of the beginning of Secret Wars II, which was equal parts stunning and goofy.
Mostly, I remember the awesome toys that spawned the whole series to begin with. I used to have a Secret Wars Wolverine, Captain America and Dr. Doom. I have no idea what happened to them.
Are you interested in CosPlay (if you have to ask, don't. You'll be happier)? You are? Well, The League is stunned to find an even greater dork than himself. Prepare for an atomic wedgie when next we meet.
Unless you're Lynda Carter and willing to try on the ol' Wonder Woman outfit again. Then you're my favorite person. But then I think we've crossed some line from CosPlay into some sort of territory that means I have to start shopping at Planet K.
At any rate, Leaguers, I've revealed too much already.
The point of this was:
Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society
Were you a Marvel Comics fan in the 80's? Sweet. So was I. Sadly I came in at the tail-end of the original Secret Wars limited series and/or sort of the beginning of Secret Wars II, which was equal parts stunning and goofy.
Mostly, I remember the awesome toys that spawned the whole series to begin with. I used to have a Secret Wars Wolverine, Captain America and Dr. Doom. I have no idea what happened to them.
Are you interested in CosPlay (if you have to ask, don't. You'll be happier)? You are? Well, The League is stunned to find an even greater dork than himself. Prepare for an atomic wedgie when next we meet.
Unless you're Lynda Carter and willing to try on the ol' Wonder Woman outfit again. Then you're my favorite person. But then I think we've crossed some line from CosPlay into some sort of territory that means I have to start shopping at Planet K.
At any rate, Leaguers, I've revealed too much already.
The point of this was:
Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Can these two people find wedded bliss?
I'm asking, because I often question Richard's ability to find his car in a parking lot
This is Richard and Laura. They've been dating since like 1984 or something. Richard apparently realized he wasn't getting out of this one, and now they are getting married just before Halloween.
For those of you going, I am here to mislead you into believing that costumes are required. So, Shannon, we expect you to dust off the Princess Leia costume. I guarantee, if you wear it, you will be the hit of the wedding.
I'm excited about Dick finally tying the knot. Sure, he's found the love of his life and whatnot, but he's also sure to spring for a decent bar.
Honestly, I don't know Laura very well. I think I met her once and she saw me eat a squash and then get drunk. I've left better first-impressions. We don't know why Laura decided Richard was a great catch, nor why she's stuck it out all this time. Maybe she really likes Dick's lengthy explanations of economics (maybe Dick was the right man for TST all along), or she can't get enough of his crazy mad dancing skills. We may never know.
Honestly, I'm hoping Dick breaks down and cries like a baby while giving his vows.
The one thing I know, if this wedding hopes to be anywhere as good as Shannon's, we're going to have to release a dog into the middle of the ceremony. Josh, it's your responsibility to find the dog.
I'm asking, because I often question Richard's ability to find his car in a parking lot
This is Richard and Laura. They've been dating since like 1984 or something. Richard apparently realized he wasn't getting out of this one, and now they are getting married just before Halloween.
For those of you going, I am here to mislead you into believing that costumes are required. So, Shannon, we expect you to dust off the Princess Leia costume. I guarantee, if you wear it, you will be the hit of the wedding.
I'm excited about Dick finally tying the knot. Sure, he's found the love of his life and whatnot, but he's also sure to spring for a decent bar.
Honestly, I don't know Laura very well. I think I met her once and she saw me eat a squash and then get drunk. I've left better first-impressions. We don't know why Laura decided Richard was a great catch, nor why she's stuck it out all this time. Maybe she really likes Dick's lengthy explanations of economics (maybe Dick was the right man for TST all along), or she can't get enough of his crazy mad dancing skills. We may never know.
Honestly, I'm hoping Dick breaks down and cries like a baby while giving his vows.
The one thing I know, if this wedding hopes to be anywhere as good as Shannon's, we're going to have to release a dog into the middle of the ceremony. Josh, it's your responsibility to find the dog.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Nanostalgia.com update
Hey, all. If you want to see some seriously geekish behavior, check out my commentary on DC Comics' July solicitations.
Go to Nanostalgia.com now.
Or, for my quick reviews of a few DC Comics from the week of 4-12-06, go here.
Hey, all. If you want to see some seriously geekish behavior, check out my commentary on DC Comics' July solicitations.
Go to Nanostalgia.com now.
Or, for my quick reviews of a few DC Comics from the week of 4-12-06, go here.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
It's X-Men week at Dave's Longbox!
If you never heard of the X-Men until the movies came out, this won't be for you. Or, if you think Gambit is the coolest part of X-Men (a) you suck, and (b) this might not be for you, fake X-Fan.
Few items will make me geek out like 80's era X-Men. Uncanny X-Men was THE comic which made me a comic geek (thanks Uncanny X-Men #210), taught me about hunting for back issues, gave me some colorful ideas about race, class and gender in my formative years and taught me Steanso would probably make a better member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants than the X-Men.
Dizzam. Those were comics. Shaped for, what, more than a decade? by a single writer... Chris Claremont. Damn, now that's how you do a run on a comic, Brian Michael Bendis. You make up new phrases, you give people ridiculous nicknames and you turn the ultimate villain into a good guy.
The best part of X-Men was always the completely bizarre dialogue which Claremont made his trademark. In fact, I had no idea as a kid that most of the cliches of Uncanny X-Men were coined by Claremont himself, exclusive to Claremont, and appeared nowehre else in the entire world in either conversational english or the written word. It took me years to realize I should quit trying to use them in term papers and whatnot as it always ended with me having to explain my sentence structure to my teachers.
Anyway, if you were around for the Chris Claremont run (I'm talking to you now, Reed-o), you have to jump from the hyperlink. Then make sure you review the comments section. It's pure X-Men gold.
Oh, and making Psylocke a Japanese Assassin was, possibly, the most nonsensical moment in comics history. I don't care what Jim Lee felt like drawing.
If you never heard of the X-Men until the movies came out, this won't be for you. Or, if you think Gambit is the coolest part of X-Men (a) you suck, and (b) this might not be for you, fake X-Fan.
Few items will make me geek out like 80's era X-Men. Uncanny X-Men was THE comic which made me a comic geek (thanks Uncanny X-Men #210), taught me about hunting for back issues, gave me some colorful ideas about race, class and gender in my formative years and taught me Steanso would probably make a better member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants than the X-Men.
Dizzam. Those were comics. Shaped for, what, more than a decade? by a single writer... Chris Claremont. Damn, now that's how you do a run on a comic, Brian Michael Bendis. You make up new phrases, you give people ridiculous nicknames and you turn the ultimate villain into a good guy.
The best part of X-Men was always the completely bizarre dialogue which Claremont made his trademark. In fact, I had no idea as a kid that most of the cliches of Uncanny X-Men were coined by Claremont himself, exclusive to Claremont, and appeared nowehre else in the entire world in either conversational english or the written word. It took me years to realize I should quit trying to use them in term papers and whatnot as it always ended with me having to explain my sentence structure to my teachers.
Anyway, if you were around for the Chris Claremont run (I'm talking to you now, Reed-o), you have to jump from the hyperlink. Then make sure you review the comments section. It's pure X-Men gold.
Oh, and making Psylocke a Japanese Assassin was, possibly, the most nonsensical moment in comics history. I don't care what Jim Lee felt like drawing.
Coke Blak Taste Test Update!
Yes, Nathan, we DID try adding ice cream to Coke Blak at the League HQ Kitchen Laboratory. We bought a pint of vanilla, put on our goggles and safety equipment and went to work.
At first I thought this was going to be a roaring success, but the taste of the Coke Blak largely overwhelmed the ice cream addition. That said, you can never really go wrong with a scoop of vanilla. Like most floats, the ice cream melted rapidly and the concotion became a sort of frothy, extremely sweet mess. But I do think Coke Blak has found a home as a dessert as I think I'd be more likely to have Coke Blak again as a float than just popping open a bottle and pouring it over ice.
That said, the 4th bottle of Coke Blak remains untouched atop the fridge.
I guess this means The League has opened itself up to possible suggestions for Taste Tests. Please bear in mind, The League is not the weird kid on the playground who will eat pill-bugs for a nickel. If you have a new product you're curious about, consider The League to be a bit like Consumer Reports, but for questionable foods.
Yes, Nathan, we DID try adding ice cream to Coke Blak at the League HQ Kitchen Laboratory. We bought a pint of vanilla, put on our goggles and safety equipment and went to work.
At first I thought this was going to be a roaring success, but the taste of the Coke Blak largely overwhelmed the ice cream addition. That said, you can never really go wrong with a scoop of vanilla. Like most floats, the ice cream melted rapidly and the concotion became a sort of frothy, extremely sweet mess. But I do think Coke Blak has found a home as a dessert as I think I'd be more likely to have Coke Blak again as a float than just popping open a bottle and pouring it over ice.
That said, the 4th bottle of Coke Blak remains untouched atop the fridge.
I guess this means The League has opened itself up to possible suggestions for Taste Tests. Please bear in mind, The League is not the weird kid on the playground who will eat pill-bugs for a nickel. If you have a new product you're curious about, consider The League to be a bit like Consumer Reports, but for questionable foods.
Babies, Ahoy!
Hey, ya'll. If you hadn't noticed, if you send me a picture of your kid, I will probably post it.
I guess Cousin Jim and his wife Michelle had thier kid yesterday! Everyone welcome little Walker Bridenstine to the world.
The guy on the right is Jim. Right now he is hoping the baby is less accident prone than he was between the ages of 1 and 15.
Hey, it's Arden Hermann-Wilmarth!
Arden considers the years of therapy it will take to recover from this hair-style
Hey, ya'll. If you hadn't noticed, if you send me a picture of your kid, I will probably post it.
I guess Cousin Jim and his wife Michelle had thier kid yesterday! Everyone welcome little Walker Bridenstine to the world.
The guy on the right is Jim. Right now he is hoping the baby is less accident prone than he was between the ages of 1 and 15.
Hey, it's Arden Hermann-Wilmarth!
Arden considers the years of therapy it will take to recover from this hair-style
Monday, April 17, 2006
CrackBass gets a blog.
hey, ya'll go check out CrackBass's blog over at Blogo de Wilson. It's sure to be a good read.
hey, ya'll go check out CrackBass's blog over at Blogo de Wilson. It's sure to be a good read.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Melbotis Mailbag!
Jim D. writes:
Dear Ryan, why don't you write a book? Not a novel, but a collection of personal essays and/or observations, not unlike Chuck Klosterman? Or even something like Sedaris or Eggers? Why not?
Jim,
Writing is very hard and time consuming, and unless I had a really good idea and a six-figure advance, I find it unlikely I would or could devote the necessary time. I am not sure who this Chuck Klosterman fellow is, but from his name it sounds like he might be an elder in a Lutheran church. Sedaris and Eggers I HAVE read. Unlike Sedaris or Eggers I have not really lived a life full of anecdotes that are print-worthy and/or are in any way relevant to the general public. I think if you reflect upon it, there's no justification for the sort of supply chain needed to get my bright ideas from a helpless tree to people's airport travel bags.
I will say this: if I am ever published, I hope I can hire Samuel L. Jackson to do the book on tape.
For those of you who really think I'm awesome and want to give me money, I can set up a PayPal system for you to start sending me dough.
Okay. Dipping back into the Mellie Noms:
Peabo writes
a) Why does the League obsess about NBA basketball? College B-ball is where it’s at.
Good question, Peabo. I think this is easier to couch in terms of why I don't watch college ball. The quick and dirty answer is that aside from our stint of catching UT games in the late 80's, I never paid much attention to college basketball. Then I ceased paying attention to sports from about 1991-1996. Then I started watching UT Football, some pro-football, the Spurs and a handful of other teams. To me, that was always a lot.
College ball is fun. But as occasionally as I've been able to see teams of any note in college ball (bear in mind, I get a lot of exciting ASU basketball here), versus several nights a week of Suns basketball, plus TNT's coverage... Well, it's a matter of odds who is going to keep my interest.
That, and in the late 80's when we were going to UT Basketball Camp I paid like $25 to have my picture taken with Tom Penders and he was a jerk.
b) The League needs to cover: The madcap hijinks of his suburban neighbors
I don't really know my neighbors. The guy who lives next door is okay. He's like 7 feet tall, but his wife decided we weren't worth talking to when we didn't accept their invitation to go to church. It felt like Texas all over again.
I've never seen one of the families across the street. We DO have flag-guy across the street who looks exactly like Squidward from SpongeBob. He's been dubbed "Flag-Guy" as each holiday he places literally dozens of flags in his yard. I lost count at 75 two 4th of July's ago.
Aside from that, I have no idea who the people are who live around me. Nobody goes outside in AZ.
Jim D. writes:
Dear Ryan, why don't you write a book? Not a novel, but a collection of personal essays and/or observations, not unlike Chuck Klosterman? Or even something like Sedaris or Eggers? Why not?
Jim,
Writing is very hard and time consuming, and unless I had a really good idea and a six-figure advance, I find it unlikely I would or could devote the necessary time. I am not sure who this Chuck Klosterman fellow is, but from his name it sounds like he might be an elder in a Lutheran church. Sedaris and Eggers I HAVE read. Unlike Sedaris or Eggers I have not really lived a life full of anecdotes that are print-worthy and/or are in any way relevant to the general public. I think if you reflect upon it, there's no justification for the sort of supply chain needed to get my bright ideas from a helpless tree to people's airport travel bags.
I will say this: if I am ever published, I hope I can hire Samuel L. Jackson to do the book on tape.
For those of you who really think I'm awesome and want to give me money, I can set up a PayPal system for you to start sending me dough.
Okay. Dipping back into the Mellie Noms:
Peabo writes
a) Why does the League obsess about NBA basketball? College B-ball is where it’s at.
Good question, Peabo. I think this is easier to couch in terms of why I don't watch college ball. The quick and dirty answer is that aside from our stint of catching UT games in the late 80's, I never paid much attention to college basketball. Then I ceased paying attention to sports from about 1991-1996. Then I started watching UT Football, some pro-football, the Spurs and a handful of other teams. To me, that was always a lot.
College ball is fun. But as occasionally as I've been able to see teams of any note in college ball (bear in mind, I get a lot of exciting ASU basketball here), versus several nights a week of Suns basketball, plus TNT's coverage... Well, it's a matter of odds who is going to keep my interest.
That, and in the late 80's when we were going to UT Basketball Camp I paid like $25 to have my picture taken with Tom Penders and he was a jerk.
b) The League needs to cover: The madcap hijinks of his suburban neighbors
I don't really know my neighbors. The guy who lives next door is okay. He's like 7 feet tall, but his wife decided we weren't worth talking to when we didn't accept their invitation to go to church. It felt like Texas all over again.
I've never seen one of the families across the street. We DO have flag-guy across the street who looks exactly like Squidward from SpongeBob. He's been dubbed "Flag-Guy" as each holiday he places literally dozens of flags in his yard. I lost count at 75 two 4th of July's ago.
Aside from that, I have no idea who the people are who live around me. Nobody goes outside in AZ.
HAPPY EASTER, LEAGUERS!!!!
Hope everyone is having a festive Easter Sunday. I'll be back to post more this evening.
Jamie and I went to the Diamondbacks/ Astros game last night, and it was quite a game if you were an Astros fan. We're impartial, and thus decided to root for our hometown team so as not to draw the ire of our fellow ticket holders.
Baseball is a great spectator sport, and not just because nobody cares if you throw peanut shells all over the place. We had fairly good $10 seats and spent most of the game reclined and taking in the open-air stadium.
It was also Jackie Robinson Night, which was pretty cool. As a kid I had a book on Jackie Robinson that I read over and over (where IS that book?). MLB or the D-Backs had put together a nice video package for the Jumbotron and the D-Bakcs trotted out a former owner of the Kansas City Monarchs (which meant that guy knew Jackie in the Negro Leagues prior to moving to Brooklyn) and a couple of local dignitaries.
And here's a cool thing about an open-air stadium (but has little to do with Jackie Robinson): four F-16's tore over in formation at the end of The Star Spangled Banner. Unfortunately, they flew over at an angle that must have been amazing from the other side of the stadium, but I couldn't see anything but one wing.
C'est la vie.
We left during the seventh inning stretch when we were down 9-0 and had earned 2 hits all game. I know baseball can turn on a dime, but neither our batting nor our pitching staff looked remotely awake last night (as evidenced by the 10-0 final score). And I think we had two or three errors as well. Blech.
I did get a nice D-Backs cap.
The next game we'll go to will be the March 4 game vs. the Chicago Cubs, so I am torn about who to cheer for. Cubs, I guess. Just know this: I've never been to a baseball game where the team I've cheered for has won.
This morning Jamie woke me up and we had our big Easter breakfast of bacon and sweet rolls. This was preceeded, however, by an exchanging of Easter baskets. Mine is pretty fly, emblazoned with the Superman logo.
The Easter Bunny's lesser-known cousin, The Terror Bunny
At some point last night I was visited by the Easter Bunny (who is apparently pals with Jamie). Before I'd even had a cup of coffee I was on an egg-hunt, lurching around the house trying to find both plastic and real eggs. Apparently my egg-finding skills are a bit rusty as Jamie had to use the tried-and-true "Warmer/colder" method to help me find 90% of the little potential stink bombs.
Anyhoo, hope everyone is having a fantastic Easter.
Hope everyone is having a festive Easter Sunday. I'll be back to post more this evening.
Jamie and I went to the Diamondbacks/ Astros game last night, and it was quite a game if you were an Astros fan. We're impartial, and thus decided to root for our hometown team so as not to draw the ire of our fellow ticket holders.
Baseball is a great spectator sport, and not just because nobody cares if you throw peanut shells all over the place. We had fairly good $10 seats and spent most of the game reclined and taking in the open-air stadium.
It was also Jackie Robinson Night, which was pretty cool. As a kid I had a book on Jackie Robinson that I read over and over (where IS that book?). MLB or the D-Backs had put together a nice video package for the Jumbotron and the D-Bakcs trotted out a former owner of the Kansas City Monarchs (which meant that guy knew Jackie in the Negro Leagues prior to moving to Brooklyn) and a couple of local dignitaries.
And here's a cool thing about an open-air stadium (but has little to do with Jackie Robinson): four F-16's tore over in formation at the end of The Star Spangled Banner. Unfortunately, they flew over at an angle that must have been amazing from the other side of the stadium, but I couldn't see anything but one wing.
C'est la vie.
We left during the seventh inning stretch when we were down 9-0 and had earned 2 hits all game. I know baseball can turn on a dime, but neither our batting nor our pitching staff looked remotely awake last night (as evidenced by the 10-0 final score). And I think we had two or three errors as well. Blech.
I did get a nice D-Backs cap.
The next game we'll go to will be the March 4 game vs. the Chicago Cubs, so I am torn about who to cheer for. Cubs, I guess. Just know this: I've never been to a baseball game where the team I've cheered for has won.
This morning Jamie woke me up and we had our big Easter breakfast of bacon and sweet rolls. This was preceeded, however, by an exchanging of Easter baskets. Mine is pretty fly, emblazoned with the Superman logo.
The Easter Bunny's lesser-known cousin, The Terror Bunny
At some point last night I was visited by the Easter Bunny (who is apparently pals with Jamie). Before I'd even had a cup of coffee I was on an egg-hunt, lurching around the house trying to find both plastic and real eggs. Apparently my egg-finding skills are a bit rusty as Jamie had to use the tried-and-true "Warmer/colder" method to help me find 90% of the little potential stink bombs.
Anyhoo, hope everyone is having a fantastic Easter.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Odds and Ends
So, despite what the cover of Newsweek would have you believe, nobody gives a shit either about Katie Couric moving to CBS news or, possibly, the CBS evening news. (Who the hell is home in time to see the national news?)
Don't believe me? Gallup says:
Only about 1 in 10 Americans say they are more likely to watch the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric in the anchor seat, and roughly the same percentage say they are less likely to watch, according to a new USA Today/Gallup poll. Despite Couric's presumed power to produce high ratings, only 6% of Americans say they will be less likely to watch the Today show when Couric's replacement, Meredith Vieira, steps in. Seven percent say they will be more likely to watch.
Apparently most people don't care who Meredith whats-her-name is, either. I will say my mother has said how happy she is Katie's got herself a new job, but in 31 years I've never seen her watch the evening news, so I doubt we'll see the KareBear start now. I could be wrong. I could be wrong.
SGH has pitched some sort of League-a-Palooza here in Chandler, AZ. Look, I've spent three years in these pages both complaining about this place and trying to escape. Why... WHY would you people want to come here? I guarantee you, two seconds after arriving here you would have a moment of clarity and start looking for a way to change your departure day and time.
1) Today it was 95 degrees. This is as nice as it will be until October 31st.
2) There is nothing to do in Chandler.
3) My comic collection loses it's novelty in about twenty minutes.
4) I'm terrified RHPT may come and discover my entire room dedicated to pictures I've taken of him through his blinds in various states of undress
5) Jamie has a terrible beef-jerky like smell
6) I've secretly been living in Atlanta this entire time
Anyway, you guys are nice to try to come to my aid and amuse me. But let's hold off until the weather is not going to burn out your eye-balls before we entertain any notions of coming to the desert.
Plus, I might be going to ACL Fest, depending on what I can work out. (Radiohead, Jim. Radiohead.)
Uh, what else...?
I watched both episodes of South Park's "Cartoon Wars." Check them out if you have a chance.
I'm trying to figure out where I can get a pair of roller skates. (skates, not "blades"). I've decided that Chandler is completely flat, which means I would NEVER be skating uphill, which means, in a way, Chandler is a perfect roller rink.
Oh, and what's this? My old pal from college, Richard, is getting hitched up to his longtime girlfriend, Laura. Richard isn't really a Leaguer, and, in fact, I haven't heard from Richard in, like, forever. But it sounds like I may be invited to the wedding in late October. I hope Richard is planning on a "Halloween Costume" themed wedding, because I have all kinds of ideas. If Shannon has any info on this, it would be much appreciated.
Anyhoo, it's late and I don't have much for you guys today.
I'll be dipping into the Melbotis Mailbag this weekend. Stop on by!
Oh, and Happy Easter, Leaguers. Whether you're doing the church thing, the secular thing, or taking advantage of the Easter tradition and getting some time off, enjoy.
So, despite what the cover of Newsweek would have you believe, nobody gives a shit either about Katie Couric moving to CBS news or, possibly, the CBS evening news. (Who the hell is home in time to see the national news?)
Don't believe me? Gallup says:
Only about 1 in 10 Americans say they are more likely to watch the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric in the anchor seat, and roughly the same percentage say they are less likely to watch, according to a new USA Today/Gallup poll. Despite Couric's presumed power to produce high ratings, only 6% of Americans say they will be less likely to watch the Today show when Couric's replacement, Meredith Vieira, steps in. Seven percent say they will be more likely to watch.
Apparently most people don't care who Meredith whats-her-name is, either. I will say my mother has said how happy she is Katie's got herself a new job, but in 31 years I've never seen her watch the evening news, so I doubt we'll see the KareBear start now. I could be wrong. I could be wrong.
SGH has pitched some sort of League-a-Palooza here in Chandler, AZ. Look, I've spent three years in these pages both complaining about this place and trying to escape. Why... WHY would you people want to come here? I guarantee you, two seconds after arriving here you would have a moment of clarity and start looking for a way to change your departure day and time.
1) Today it was 95 degrees. This is as nice as it will be until October 31st.
2) There is nothing to do in Chandler.
3) My comic collection loses it's novelty in about twenty minutes.
4) I'm terrified RHPT may come and discover my entire room dedicated to pictures I've taken of him through his blinds in various states of undress
5) Jamie has a terrible beef-jerky like smell
6) I've secretly been living in Atlanta this entire time
Anyway, you guys are nice to try to come to my aid and amuse me. But let's hold off until the weather is not going to burn out your eye-balls before we entertain any notions of coming to the desert.
Plus, I might be going to ACL Fest, depending on what I can work out. (Radiohead, Jim. Radiohead.)
Uh, what else...?
I watched both episodes of South Park's "Cartoon Wars." Check them out if you have a chance.
I'm trying to figure out where I can get a pair of roller skates. (skates, not "blades"). I've decided that Chandler is completely flat, which means I would NEVER be skating uphill, which means, in a way, Chandler is a perfect roller rink.
Oh, and what's this? My old pal from college, Richard, is getting hitched up to his longtime girlfriend, Laura. Richard isn't really a Leaguer, and, in fact, I haven't heard from Richard in, like, forever. But it sounds like I may be invited to the wedding in late October. I hope Richard is planning on a "Halloween Costume" themed wedding, because I have all kinds of ideas. If Shannon has any info on this, it would be much appreciated.
Anyhoo, it's late and I don't have much for you guys today.
I'll be dipping into the Melbotis Mailbag this weekend. Stop on by!
Oh, and Happy Easter, Leaguers. Whether you're doing the church thing, the secular thing, or taking advantage of the Easter tradition and getting some time off, enjoy.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
In the News:
I don't know what was up today, but here are some interesting bits:
-CNN actual headline: Star wears red shirt, no pants to Walk of Fame ceremony
-Apparently a giant rabbit is prowling the British country-side in a manner eerily similar ot "Curse of the Were-Rabbit"
-Those wacky Iranians have figured out how to make enriched uranium. But Condi will not let this stand. I'm not sure what part of the UN charter say the US gets to tell everybody else what to do, but I also understand why this might make the US a bit nervous.
I'm going to break this down for you not following the news:
1) 1970's, a bunch of Iranians kick out the Shah and go all fundamentalist kooky
2) Crazy Iranians take US citizens hostage
3) League, aged 5, vaguely remembers hostages being freed
4) US and Iran do not get along
5) Ayatollah Khomeni hires the Joker (fresh off killing Jason Todd) to become Iran's ambassador to the UN. Joker given complete diplomatic immunity by lousy UN charter. Superman and Batman team-up and foil the Joker's plot to use his lethal "Joker Gas" on the UN General Assembly. Jim Aparo's pencils rock in this issue.
6) US invades Iraq. Threatens anyone looking funny at US in the region with a "who want's some?" sort of squinty-eyed Eastwoody thing. US does much chest punding and making of "Whoooo"ing sound.
7) Many US citizens buy little ribbon magnets for their cars.
8) Iranians feel threatened.
8) Iranians elect fundamentalist who promises he will "take no guff"
9) Former US hostages say, "hey, wasn't that the a@@hole who held us hostage...?"
10) Iran decides to start either petroleum free energy program or world-ending nuclear program, depending on who you wanna believe
11) US says "The only people who can have nukes are us, Russia, a scad of former USSR countries, India, maybe Pakistan, and like four other countries."
12) Iranians point to small article on back of Denny's menu stating they are a sovereign nation and can pretty much do whatever the hell they want, a la the U.S.
13) IAEA feels uncomfortable as friend caught in the middle
14) Condi makes her "angry face"
15) Saber rattling commences
16) Realizing this may go past 5:00, UN Security Coucil orders out for pizza.
There you go.
-In fake news, a sequel is planned for Snakes on a Plane (in someone's imagination).
-Thousands of Phish fans suddenly headed for Alaska before the laws change
That's my news-in-brief.
Thanks to everyone for a swell birthday! It was a good one and certainly one for the record books.
Steanso has gone wayyyyy out of his way to make sure that I do not forget some key moments from my childhood. Go to AoS. (editor's note: The League is known as "Roundball" at AoS)
We'll be back soon, same bat time, same bat channel.
I don't know what was up today, but here are some interesting bits:
-CNN actual headline: Star wears red shirt, no pants to Walk of Fame ceremony
-Apparently a giant rabbit is prowling the British country-side in a manner eerily similar ot "Curse of the Were-Rabbit"
-Those wacky Iranians have figured out how to make enriched uranium. But Condi will not let this stand. I'm not sure what part of the UN charter say the US gets to tell everybody else what to do, but I also understand why this might make the US a bit nervous.
I'm going to break this down for you not following the news:
1) 1970's, a bunch of Iranians kick out the Shah and go all fundamentalist kooky
2) Crazy Iranians take US citizens hostage
3) League, aged 5, vaguely remembers hostages being freed
4) US and Iran do not get along
5) Ayatollah Khomeni hires the Joker (fresh off killing Jason Todd) to become Iran's ambassador to the UN. Joker given complete diplomatic immunity by lousy UN charter. Superman and Batman team-up and foil the Joker's plot to use his lethal "Joker Gas" on the UN General Assembly. Jim Aparo's pencils rock in this issue.
6) US invades Iraq. Threatens anyone looking funny at US in the region with a "who want's some?" sort of squinty-eyed Eastwoody thing. US does much chest punding and making of "Whoooo"ing sound.
7) Many US citizens buy little ribbon magnets for their cars.
8) Iranians feel threatened.
8) Iranians elect fundamentalist who promises he will "take no guff"
9) Former US hostages say, "hey, wasn't that the a@@hole who held us hostage...?"
10) Iran decides to start either petroleum free energy program or world-ending nuclear program, depending on who you wanna believe
11) US says "The only people who can have nukes are us, Russia, a scad of former USSR countries, India, maybe Pakistan, and like four other countries."
12) Iranians point to small article on back of Denny's menu stating they are a sovereign nation and can pretty much do whatever the hell they want, a la the U.S.
13) IAEA feels uncomfortable as friend caught in the middle
14) Condi makes her "angry face"
15) Saber rattling commences
16) Realizing this may go past 5:00, UN Security Coucil orders out for pizza.
There you go.
-In fake news, a sequel is planned for Snakes on a Plane (in someone's imagination).
-Thousands of Phish fans suddenly headed for Alaska before the laws change
That's my news-in-brief.
Thanks to everyone for a swell birthday! It was a good one and certainly one for the record books.
Steanso has gone wayyyyy out of his way to make sure that I do not forget some key moments from my childhood. Go to AoS. (editor's note: The League is known as "Roundball" at AoS)
We'll be back soon, same bat time, same bat channel.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Hey, it's The League's 31st Birthday.
Happy Birthday to me.
I've tried to make it a little tradition to post the lyrics to a song each year on this day.
Waitin' for a Superman
Flaming Lips
Asked you a question
I didn't need you to reply
Is it gettin' heavy?
But they'll realize
Is it gettin' heavy?
Well I thought it was already as heavy
As can be
Is it overwhelming
To use a crane to crush a fly?
It's a good time for Superman
To lift the sun into the sky
'Cause it's gettin' heavy
Well I thought it was already as heavy
As can be
Tell everybody
Waitin' for Superman
That they should try to hold on
Best they can
He hasn't dropped them
Forgot them
Or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift
Is it gettin' heavy?
Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be.
Tell everybody
Waitin' for Superman
That they should try to hold on
Best they can
He hasn't dropped them
Forgot them
Or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift
Happy Birthday to me.
I've tried to make it a little tradition to post the lyrics to a song each year on this day.
Waitin' for a Superman
Flaming Lips
Asked you a question
I didn't need you to reply
Is it gettin' heavy?
But they'll realize
Is it gettin' heavy?
Well I thought it was already as heavy
As can be
Is it overwhelming
To use a crane to crush a fly?
It's a good time for Superman
To lift the sun into the sky
'Cause it's gettin' heavy
Well I thought it was already as heavy
As can be
Tell everybody
Waitin' for Superman
That they should try to hold on
Best they can
He hasn't dropped them
Forgot them
Or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift
Is it gettin' heavy?
Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be.
Tell everybody
Waitin' for Superman
That they should try to hold on
Best they can
He hasn't dropped them
Forgot them
Or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift
The League Taste Tests Coca-Cola Blak
(imagine a little dash over the "a" in Blak)
aka: My Coke has an Identity Crisis
Coca-Cola Corp decided some time ago to start playing mad scientist in their R&D division. From this infusion of R&D dinero we've had some interesting concoctions.
Coke with lemon pledge.
Coke with Lime.
Coke Zero.
Booze ready vanilla coke.
I heard Tina Fey say something about Coke with coffee in it on Saturday Night Live. The League loves him some Coke, but we REALLY loves us some coffee. Parched and tired from my journey to AZRD on Saturday night, I was looking for something refreshing yet full of amphetamines to really get me going.
And, By GOD, they had new Coke BlaK (imagine a little line over the "a" in Blak).
What does The Coca-Cola company have to say for their new product? Well, check it out (and dig the loungy music).
Jamie was skeptical, especially given the debacle which was the Jones Soda Holiday Feast, but, folks, we at League HQ must continue to find ways to assist you, the consumer.
I was a bit a'feared, not having Steanso to back me up, so I invited JLA'er and recent widower Ralph (Elongated Man) Dibny to assist me in trying out the new beverage. And, as always, Jeff the Cat.
Jeff wisely tries to separate himself from the fun
What of the bouquet?
Apparently I have cat hair all over my shirt, plus some sort of stain I hadn't noticed. I should have worn my white lab coat.
It smells like Coke with coffee in it. Or possibly coffee with Coke in it. Sweet, but bitter. Like when a rabbit goes evil
For some cockamamie reason Jamie believes ice will somehow dilute the test. Well, being a man of science, The League decides to try both ways.
fizzy, but not threateningly fizzy
I decide it looks okay and smells weird. Like there's coffee in my Coke.
bottoms up! The first taste is always the hardest.
Longing for yesteryear...
Huh. The first sip is seriously weird. Lots of carbonation and a very sweet coffee flavor, like cold coffee with too much sugar in it. Not necessarily a bad thing. When I was five I used to sneak drinks of my mom's coffee when she wasn't looking. It tastes like that. At first.
Wha-huh..?
Wait. What the hell is that? Now it tastes like Coke. Sort of. I think I can still taste coffee, but I'm not sure. How can a liquid have more than one flavor? Clearly the makers of this drink are up to some serious mad science. I have no idea what I'm drinking.
I consult with Elongated Man, and he suggests I try some crushed ice before I make a verdict.
Not just embued with stretchy powers, Ralph is also a top notch detective.
At this point I'm not really clear on whether I should be drinking this stuff for breakfast, with a burger, smoking a cigarette to be hip (although I'm thinking a Kool is the sort of cigarette this soda deserves), or if it should be 4:00 AM, I'm delirious and no longer care what I drink. But a little ice can't hurt.
Chilly...
huh.
Is it Coke in my coffee?
Or Coffee in my Coke?
Either way, it's... I dunno.
The League, delighted to try out a soda and not wanting to barf. Sometimes it's the little things, Leaguers.
I can't figure out who thought this would be a big seller. It's coffee and Coke. If you're a fan of sweetened cold folgers and you love Coke, man, I may have a product for you. Otherwise, really, I can't imagine ever buying this stuff again. I'll probably finish the 4-pack it came in, but I expect this stuff will disappear faster than Crystal Pepsi.
(imagine a little dash over the "a" in Blak)
aka: My Coke has an Identity Crisis
Coca-Cola Corp decided some time ago to start playing mad scientist in their R&D division. From this infusion of R&D dinero we've had some interesting concoctions.
Coke with lemon pledge.
Coke with Lime.
Coke Zero.
Booze ready vanilla coke.
I heard Tina Fey say something about Coke with coffee in it on Saturday Night Live. The League loves him some Coke, but we REALLY loves us some coffee. Parched and tired from my journey to AZRD on Saturday night, I was looking for something refreshing yet full of amphetamines to really get me going.
And, By GOD, they had new Coke BlaK (imagine a little line over the "a" in Blak).
What does The Coca-Cola company have to say for their new product? Well, check it out (and dig the loungy music).
Jamie was skeptical, especially given the debacle which was the Jones Soda Holiday Feast, but, folks, we at League HQ must continue to find ways to assist you, the consumer.
I was a bit a'feared, not having Steanso to back me up, so I invited JLA'er and recent widower Ralph (Elongated Man) Dibny to assist me in trying out the new beverage. And, as always, Jeff the Cat.
Jeff wisely tries to separate himself from the fun
What of the bouquet?
Apparently I have cat hair all over my shirt, plus some sort of stain I hadn't noticed. I should have worn my white lab coat.
It smells like Coke with coffee in it. Or possibly coffee with Coke in it. Sweet, but bitter. Like when a rabbit goes evil
For some cockamamie reason Jamie believes ice will somehow dilute the test. Well, being a man of science, The League decides to try both ways.
fizzy, but not threateningly fizzy
I decide it looks okay and smells weird. Like there's coffee in my Coke.
bottoms up! The first taste is always the hardest.
Longing for yesteryear...
Huh. The first sip is seriously weird. Lots of carbonation and a very sweet coffee flavor, like cold coffee with too much sugar in it. Not necessarily a bad thing. When I was five I used to sneak drinks of my mom's coffee when she wasn't looking. It tastes like that. At first.
Wha-huh..?
Wait. What the hell is that? Now it tastes like Coke. Sort of. I think I can still taste coffee, but I'm not sure. How can a liquid have more than one flavor? Clearly the makers of this drink are up to some serious mad science. I have no idea what I'm drinking.
I consult with Elongated Man, and he suggests I try some crushed ice before I make a verdict.
Not just embued with stretchy powers, Ralph is also a top notch detective.
At this point I'm not really clear on whether I should be drinking this stuff for breakfast, with a burger, smoking a cigarette to be hip (although I'm thinking a Kool is the sort of cigarette this soda deserves), or if it should be 4:00 AM, I'm delirious and no longer care what I drink. But a little ice can't hurt.
Chilly...
huh.
Is it Coke in my coffee?
Or Coffee in my Coke?
Either way, it's... I dunno.
The League, delighted to try out a soda and not wanting to barf. Sometimes it's the little things, Leaguers.
I can't figure out who thought this would be a big seller. It's coffee and Coke. If you're a fan of sweetened cold folgers and you love Coke, man, I may have a product for you. Otherwise, really, I can't imagine ever buying this stuff again. I'll probably finish the 4-pack it came in, but I expect this stuff will disappear faster than Crystal Pepsi.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Melbotis Mailbag
Well, you guys were supposed to get another taste test this evening, but Blogger is being weird and I can't seem to upload those all-too important photos.
So, a little bit early we're going to do something new. You guys sent in some questions and whatnot as part of the 2006 Melbotis Awards. We're going to re-route those e-mails to this new experiment: Melbotis Mailbag.
If you have questions or comments, send them on in. We'll do what we can to answer your every query.
Let's see here.
CrackBass asks: Why does the League obsess about Burger King and/or Jones Soda?
Well, Burger King fascinates me as it is the #2 or #3 fast food franchise, certainly well behind McDonalds, and yet BK seems to have better items on the menu than McD's. Note how every Leaguer had an opnion on what's worth chowing on at the BK, but I am guessing the reaction to a question about McDonald's would have met with disdain.
Plus, BK has a kick-ass mascot.
Not only is McDonald's food not considered to be as good, McDonalds has never had an entertaining commercial in it's storied history. Their mascot isn't even amusing. It's madness.
My fascination with Jones Soda's Holiday Feast? Well, it's soda supposedly flavored like items which were never meant to be had in soda form. How can you not want to at least see what these dudes were thinking? It's a sort of stupid thing to do, turning brussel sprouts into soda. And we at the League are always curious about the intentionally stupid.
All right... what else..
Nathan says: Why does the League obsess about how un-hip Chandler is? Of course it's un-hip, just like most of America! It can't all be Austin, LA, NYC, etc. I used to dog San Antonio all the time, but now it's home, and there's plenty of things I love and hate about the city.
Randy asks: Why does The League obsess about Austin. Stop living in the past, dude.
I felt these two questions were interrelated as they both tie into my dissatisfaction with my current geographic situation.
Why not Chandler, AZ? Well, there's nothing to do in Chandler. That's not to say there's nothing to do in Phoenix or Arizona. There's just nothing to do in Chandler, and, moreover, nobody to do it with.
I don't think that because Chandler is un-hip like the rest of America is a good reason to roll over and accept boredom as my fate. In fact, I think that's a fairly terrible idea. Why on earth would I compromise my idea of an ideal place to live because other people live to go to Target, buy minivans and play golf? I am not bagging on Phoenix (and I well could, but I don't). I'm bagging on Chandler because it's exactly the kind of suburban nightmare I always swore I would avoid winding up living in. I can't reiterate enough: there is absolutely nothing to do here. And nobody to do it with.
We live a forty five minute drive into town, for those of you keeping score at home. It's about thirty minutes just to get to Tempe.
Look, a big night on the town on Chandler is grabbing dinner (nothing wrong with that) and going to a movie. Again, nothing wrong with that. But after four years that wears a little thin. And doing much of anything else usually has significant dollar signs attached. Yeah, we went to rollerderby this weekend (an hour drive, btw), and are going to a Diamondbacks game this weekend (to see Nathan's Astros). Hopefully we can continue to find things to do outside of Chandler.
Four years in and the only people I know out here are my co-workers, and that's a mixing of business and pleasure which really doesn't work out so well. Especially when you have to be "the boss" again on Monday. And the few other folks we've met out here sort of ended up with kids. Sorry, new parents... you will abandon your childless friends. It's true. I think the childless couples are just creepy to the kids, anyway.
Well, you guys were supposed to get another taste test this evening, but Blogger is being weird and I can't seem to upload those all-too important photos.
So, a little bit early we're going to do something new. You guys sent in some questions and whatnot as part of the 2006 Melbotis Awards. We're going to re-route those e-mails to this new experiment: Melbotis Mailbag.
If you have questions or comments, send them on in. We'll do what we can to answer your every query.
Let's see here.
CrackBass asks: Why does the League obsess about Burger King and/or Jones Soda?
Well, Burger King fascinates me as it is the #2 or #3 fast food franchise, certainly well behind McDonalds, and yet BK seems to have better items on the menu than McD's. Note how every Leaguer had an opnion on what's worth chowing on at the BK, but I am guessing the reaction to a question about McDonald's would have met with disdain.
Plus, BK has a kick-ass mascot.
Not only is McDonald's food not considered to be as good, McDonalds has never had an entertaining commercial in it's storied history. Their mascot isn't even amusing. It's madness.
My fascination with Jones Soda's Holiday Feast? Well, it's soda supposedly flavored like items which were never meant to be had in soda form. How can you not want to at least see what these dudes were thinking? It's a sort of stupid thing to do, turning brussel sprouts into soda. And we at the League are always curious about the intentionally stupid.
All right... what else..
Nathan says: Why does the League obsess about how un-hip Chandler is? Of course it's un-hip, just like most of America! It can't all be Austin, LA, NYC, etc. I used to dog San Antonio all the time, but now it's home, and there's plenty of things I love and hate about the city.
Randy asks: Why does The League obsess about Austin. Stop living in the past, dude.
I felt these two questions were interrelated as they both tie into my dissatisfaction with my current geographic situation.
Why not Chandler, AZ? Well, there's nothing to do in Chandler. That's not to say there's nothing to do in Phoenix or Arizona. There's just nothing to do in Chandler, and, moreover, nobody to do it with.
I don't think that because Chandler is un-hip like the rest of America is a good reason to roll over and accept boredom as my fate. In fact, I think that's a fairly terrible idea. Why on earth would I compromise my idea of an ideal place to live because other people live to go to Target, buy minivans and play golf? I am not bagging on Phoenix (and I well could, but I don't). I'm bagging on Chandler because it's exactly the kind of suburban nightmare I always swore I would avoid winding up living in. I can't reiterate enough: there is absolutely nothing to do here. And nobody to do it with.
We live a forty five minute drive into town, for those of you keeping score at home. It's about thirty minutes just to get to Tempe.
Look, a big night on the town on Chandler is grabbing dinner (nothing wrong with that) and going to a movie. Again, nothing wrong with that. But after four years that wears a little thin. And doing much of anything else usually has significant dollar signs attached. Yeah, we went to rollerderby this weekend (an hour drive, btw), and are going to a Diamondbacks game this weekend (to see Nathan's Astros). Hopefully we can continue to find things to do outside of Chandler.
Four years in and the only people I know out here are my co-workers, and that's a mixing of business and pleasure which really doesn't work out so well. Especially when you have to be "the boss" again on Monday. And the few other folks we've met out here sort of ended up with kids. Sorry, new parents... you will abandon your childless friends. It's true. I think the childless couples are just creepy to the kids, anyway.
We're not completely blameless in the whole ordeal. Jamie and I tend to keep to ourselves sometimes.
On a different note: One big reason we're ofter seeking a return to the Lone Star state is that we're now far enough away from family that Jamie has a support structure of one (moi). I don't know how many of you have folks in your house who could need hospitalization at the drop of a hat, but after a while, you kind-of/sort-of wish that you were a car ride rather than a plane ride away from folks who would be all too happy to assist.
A LOT of people are always telling us to skip town and go see the desert, etc... And to be truthful, that's a little tough for us to do. At least for me. I always hate being more than an hour from Jamie's hospital unless we have parents or a working knowledge of an area (do you know where your ER is? The average wait times?).
So am I being misty-eyed about Austin? Probably. I did live there for most of my life, so I'm biased. And I'm also probably spoiled. I miss having non-chain restaurants to go to. I miss living four miles from work, working with my friends and having an endless array of opportunities every night of the week, all withing ten miles of the house. There's a pretty good reason Austin has the reputation it has, both good and bad.
Chandler does not have:
Any decent record shops
Barton Springs
Leslie
Alamo Drafthouse (or any independent cinema)
decent touring bands
decent local bands
coffee houses not crawling with seniors
Tex-Mex
Bar BQ
trees
seasons
decent bars
Spam-o-Rama (and dozens of other nonsensical events)
A great comic shop
Any of my terrific friends or family
I don't particularly feel the "hipster" attachment to Austin (I did move there when I was 10, after all). But I do think the lifestyle there in Austin was something I'd become accustomed to.
It's not about living in the past, team (and thanks for putting it in such a classy way, RHPT). It's about how you want to spend the rest of your life. I'm not ready to throw my hands in the air and decide the rest of my life should be reheated leftovers from Chili's and trips to the mall to buy sneakers. That's just not how we'd prefer to wind up here at The League.
Whoops. That wound up a little heavier than I intended the first Melbotis Mailbag to end up. I'm not really sure I completely answered your questions, but I gave it the old League of Melbotis try.
Feel free to send in questions. We'll see what we can do.
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