Friday, June 17, 2005

A Super-Meme

This one's been circulating for a bit. I just saw it on Return to Comics, so now I feel like I can use it, too.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

Mostly, I'd like to be able to make people healthy with the touch of a finger. I'd be like "ET-Man". And I'd charge like $10 a visit. I'd do nothing all day but poke people with my finger and fix them.

If that didn't happen because I'd refuse to let anybody ever get sick and God would get irritated with this globe swarming with undead people, I have a choice #2.

Invulnerability. Sure, flight would be the most fun, but I can always buy a jetpack, right? No? Oh. Well, invulnerability. I would never worry about getting hit by a bus again. I could intentionally walk into terrible situations and let bullets fly off of my skin. If the wait for the elevator is too long, I'd just jump out the window.

There's a lot to be said for cannon shells bouncing off of your hide.

If that didn't pan out, I guess I'd like to have the power to know when I have either irrevocably won ro lost an argument. Or the ability to ignore Tom Cruise. Most useful, though: The ability to have an answer when Jamie asks "Where do you want to go to eat?"

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?

Here's a creepy question! Which superhero would I like to go on moonlit strolls with?

I don't feel terribly comfortable answering this. I'm a grown, married man, for God's sake.

Wonder Woman. Because she twirls.

or, Barbara Gordon/ Oracle/ Batgirl. Because she would be great IT support.

What would your superhero name be?

I'd like to be sponsored. You know... Captain Justice, presented by Rayovac Batteries!

Given that I'd either be fixing people or invulnerable, I think I'd pick a name based on my powers.

If I were healing people, I'd want to be referred to as "Dr. No-HMO". Or "The Blue Band-Aid". Or "Neosporin Lad". (brought to you by the makers of Neosporin).

if I were invulnerable, I'd want to be called "The Awesome-aitor." (presented by Hooters).

However, even Superman didn't pick his own name (Lois slapped that name on him). So I am fairly certain some reporter would pick a name for me. And I am sure it would be: "The Blue Panda" in honor of my astonishing physique and penchant for wearing a blue shirt most days (with blue jeans, natch).

For extra credit: Is there an ‘existing’ superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?

I think these are two very different questions. Identify with? Possibly a JLI-era Martian Manhunter. Sure, I seem to be fairly useful most of the time, but I don't understand the earthlings around me and instead of bickering or fighting cosmic menaces, what I'd really like to do is have a glass of milk and a bag of Oreos.

Like to be? If you can't answer that question on your own and you've been reading this site for more than 5 minutes, we will make sure we put the bumpers up when we take you bowling.

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